CHAPTER 29

ARIZONA

As she stood there at the bar gaping drunkenly at her girlfriend who had obviously been traipsing around the city with her extremely pushy sister, she could still feel the sting in her cheek from where Brooke had slapped her but somehow even that hadn't been able to bring her back down to earth. She felt as though she was floating and realised that she had probably had a few too many shots. Originally she had come here to take the edge off before she went and spoke to Callie, but one drink turned into two drinks and well… here she was hours later still sitting at the bar drinking herself into oblivion.

Arizona took a closer look at Callie's face but instead of finding anger and confusion she found that Callie looked more worried and hurt than anything else. This make Arizona's heart split in two, if there was one thing in this world that Arizona Robbins promised herself she would never do, it's hurt her beautiful Calliope. But that is exactly what she had done over these past two days, she had stood her girlfriend up twice now and refused to speak with her about her problems essentially shutting her out completely, trying to cover up the cracks with sex. Yet, here she was standing there and staring at Arizona with her gorgeous russet brown eyes brimming with tears at the sight of her drunken girlfriend. Arizona just hoped that she could fix things and that the reappearance of Lauren wasn't going to ruin their relationship entirely. There was only one way to find out if this hope had any chance of coming true, she needed to tell Callie everything, from the beginning. She would leave nothing out and she would of course have to tell Callie about HIM which was the part she wasn't sure she was going to be able to say out loud. However hard it would be to talk about what happened 3 years ago Arizona knew that losing Callie would be harder, so she had to try.

The blonde felt a sharp pain in her back, turning to see what it was she realised that her sister was now shoving her in the direction of her girlfriend. Brooke had always been far more physical than Arizona but this was getting ridiculous, however she could tell that this wasn't the time to confront her sister about her rough treatment and realised that in retrospect she probably deserved it. When she still didn't move she felt Brooke shove her again, this time she let out a soft whimper and she felt her knees giving out. She was breaking down; there was nothing she could do. The tears were just about to flow down her cheeks when she felt Brooke grab her shoulders and spin her around to face her. Brooke took a hold of Arizona's face in both of her sturdy surgeon hands before she spoke.

"Listen to me. You are Arizona Robbins! Kick ass surgeon. You save kids lives, but more than that you put people's families back together. You can do this. You can go over there and you can tell that sexy Mexican Goddess of yours everything. I know you can. Now go over there and do it" Brooke gave Arizona a quick kiss on the lips. Most people would find this odd, grown up siblings kissing each other on the mouth but for the Robbins girls it wasn't at all something that they found weird. Growing up their parents would go out to events a lot and when their mother was all dolled up with her makeup done she would come into their bedroom to kiss them goodnight but it would always be on the lips so as not to smudge her lipstick or make marks on the girls' faces. This had become a routine and a habit they had gotten into at an early age and just never really grew out of, this gesture from her sister gave Arizona the strength to begin walking over to her girlfriend.


CALLIE

As she watched Arizona walk unsteadily over to her she felt her heart begin to race. The blonde was always intoxicatingly beautiful but when she was drunk like this there was just a whole other level of freedom to the way she walked, the way she talked and the way she touched. Last night was of course a perfect example of that; however Callie was not prepared to let Arizona blind her with sex tonight. She was going to make her girlfriend talk to her; it had become clear to Callie over the course of their relationship that Arizona didn't much like talking about things that upset her. She would often have a little cry or pick a silly fight with Callie but she didn't like to dwell on a problem for too long. Tonight, Callie wasn't going to let Arizona get away with not talking this time.

As Arizona approached her, Callie felt the hairs on her arms stand up. It never ceased to amaze her how many different reactions her girlfriend could cause her body to have. Arizona looked sad, more than anything she just looked really sad. Seeing Arizona look so broken was worrying her beyond belief. Was this Lauren person the one who really had hold of Arizona's heart? Had Lauren come back for Arizona? Was Arizona so sad because she knew she would soon be breaking Callie's heart?

There were so many different scenarios and questions running through Callie's mind but she had to put them all aside and listen to what her girlfriend had to say or she would drive herself crazy with her thoughts.

"Hey" Arizona spoke in the softest of whispers, if Callie hadn't been looking right at her she might not have even noticed the blonde was speaking. Callie could tell that Arizona was having trouble making eye contact with her. This wasn't looking good.

"Hey. I waited for you in the on-call room but…" Callie was trying her best not to sound angry, she knew that getting all riled up and starting a fight would not help the situation. Right now all she wanted was to be told what the hell was going on.

"I know. I'm sorry. I, I just couldn't. I needed some space, to clear my head" Arizona finally looked up from the spot on the floor that she had been staring intensely at and when Callie finally caught sight of those beautiful blue orbs that she loved so much they were brimming with tears and Callie could see just how intoxicated her girlfriend actually was. She couldn't help but let out a small giggle when she smelt the strong scent of Tequila on the blonde's breath.

" Yes, Tequila always helps CLEAR your head" she knew now probably wasn't the best time to be making jokes but she couldn't help herself, it just slipped out and to her great surprise Arizona also managed to let out a small laugh.

Arizona reached out for Callie's hand and the brunette felt her whole world start spinning. The way the blonde gently took her hand and laced their fingers together was somehow reassuring to the orthopaedic surgeon.

"Can we go home and talk?" Arizona was absentmindedly rubbing circles on the inside of Callie's wrist with her thumb, something she always did when they held hands and Callie had always found comfort in this small ritual of theirs.

"Sure baby, let's go" Callie began leading Arizona to the exit when she felt the blonde stop suddenly and pull her hand from Callie's. When she turned around Arizona had her arms wrapped around a very uncomfortable looking Cristina. Cristina had her arms by her side and was looking to Callie for help as Arizona squeezed her tightly, the young resident made no attempt to participate in the hug that had been thrust upon her.

After a few torturous seconds Arizona let Cristina go, flashed her 1000-watt dimpled smile and once again took hold of Callie's hand as she was led out of the club.


ARIZONA

Arizona watched as her girlfriend paced up and down their apartment. She knew that Callie wasn't going to take this well but the pacing and muttering under her breath had been going on for more than twenty minutes. Callie had asked Arizona to give her a minute to collect her thoughts which she had been happy to oblige her with but this was getting ridiculous. Watching Callie pace up and down was starting to make Arizona feel queasy; the enormous amount of Tequila she had consumed was probably not helping the situation.

"Calliope?" Arizona spoke softly so as not to spook her pacing, muttering girlfriend but when calling her name a few times didn't work she reached out and took hold of Callie's wrist so as to stop her from pacing the full length of the room.

Callie turned toward Arizona her eyes filled with pain; it broke the blonde's heart to see her girlfriend so upset. She expected Callie to yell and scream, to be angry with her but the last thing she expected was to see the luscious brunette cry and look so hurt.

"Calliope please, I know you're mad but please tell me what you're thinking. Preferably in English" Arizona pleaded with Callie.

"I, I don't know Arizona. I just, I want to spend forever with you. I want to be your everything, give you everything. I know it's way too early for this but I think about marrying you one day, of starting a family with you when the time comes. But now I find out that someone else has already given you these things and I just… I'm not mad Arizona, I'm just sad" Callie's tears were now flowing freely and Arizona could think of nothing to do but take the brunette into her arms and hold her tight.

Arizona pulled Callie onto the lounge with her and held her as she sobbed in the blonde's lap. Arizona rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriends back as she let her cry, she herself couldn't hold her tears back anymore and cried with Callie. They spent the next few minutes sobbing together before Arizona noticed that Callie had stopped crying and her breathing had slowed down. She had to make Callie understand that this wasn't her fault, that things with Lauren were the way they were and it had nothing to do with their relationship. Although that wasn't entirely true, if her conversation with Lauren was anything to go by this whole thing had the potential to really affect both of their lives.

Lauren had originally been Brooke's best friend growing up; she was always at the Robbins residence so Arizona had spent a lot of time with her during her high school days. It wasn't until her last year of high school that anything romantic happened between them. Lauren had come to Arizona originally because she wanted to know what it would be like to be with a woman, Arizona had always thought that the red head was insanely hot so she didn't really need much persuasion on the matter. Things eventually became serious, as most of Arizona's casual flings did. It wasn't that she was a serial monogamist or anything, she was quite fine with casual sex but she found that every single person she had a casual fling with ended up falling in love with her and wanting more. Lauren was no exception, only this time Arizona fell for her too, and she fell hard. Arizona had gone off to college only six months after they started dating so their love affair was long distance on and off for the first four years of their relationship, but Arizona had everything planned out.

Lauren ended up going to a college close to home after high school instead of meeting Arizona in New York. Arizona was in her third year of Residency when Lauren showed up on her doorstep one night and told her she was there for good. It was like everything had finally fallen into place, they rented an apartment together and got themselves settled Arizona had never been happier. Then one night Arizona had come home from a late shift at the hospital to find a distraught Lauren crying in their bedroom, the red head then proceeded to tell Arizona that she had been unfaithful and the real reason she dropped out of college and moved to New York was because she was pregnant.

Arizona was angry and hurt but of course Lauren had been unfaithful, they had been having a long distance on and off relationship since Lauren was fifteen years old. It wasn't like during their breaks Arizona had stayed abstinent, so the blonde forgave her and they began planning for the arrival of their child. The father of the child had decided that he didn't want to be involved and Lauren had made it perfectly clear that she wanted to raise the baby with Arizona.

The day that Joshua Daniel Robbins was born changed Arizona's life. She had seen so many births and cared for so many children in her short time as a Resident and she saw the love and pride in the faces of the parents of those children, but never had she imagined being so insanely in love with such a tiny human. It had taken only a few seconds for her to fall in love with Joshua and she spent the next four years of his life loving him a little more every day.

Three months after Joshua was born Arizona with the support of Lauren applied for a second parent adoption. Being a mother to Joshua was something that Arizona took pride in every day. She would get up to him in the middle of the night, change his diapers, feed him, burp him, and sing him to sleep. There was nothing she wouldn't do for him and as he got older noting really changed, she still tucked him in every night after reading him his favourite even if she was working or on-call she would find a way to make sure that her voice was the last thing he heard before he went to sleep at night. Her life was complete at the ripe old age of 29. It was perfect, until it all came crashing down on her 30th birthday.

She had come home after a gruelling day at the hospital, expecting to be greeted with birthday hugs and kisses from the two most important people in her life. Instead, she came home to an empty house. All of their stuff was gone and all that was left was a note. The note didn't say where they had gone or why they had left, just that they weren't coming back.

Arizona's entire world had been shattered that day. She spent the next six excruciating weeks trying to find them and when she finally did she found that Lauren was now with a guy named Matt, who just so happened to be Joshua's biological father. By this stage Arizona was over Lauren's games and didn't even want her back but she wasn't going to allow anyone to take her son away from her. Something Arizona didn't know was that Lauren had never filed the adoption papers, Arizona had seen them and she had signed them but Lauren had never actually filed them which meant that the Paediatric surgeon had no legal rights over the young boy. Lauren had made up her mind and she had cut Arizona out of his life completely. That was five years ago now and Arizona had never really gotten over it.

So Lauren had followed Arizona to Seattle and apparently was no longer with Matt, she was looking for a second chance with the successful Paediatric surgeon and she was using Joshua as bait. Callie had every right to be upset, Arizona hadn't told her about Joshua when she recounted her relationship with Lauren because it was too painful for her. Now she wished she had.

Callie had never expressed herself the way she had tonight and in a way it made Arizona's heart soar to know that this is how her girlfriend felt, it also caused her great pain when she thought about the reasons for Callie sharing these feelings. This situation is not the way Arizona had wanted to have the future talk with Callie but now that it was here she had to take the opportunity to let the brunette know how she felt.

"Calliope. Calliope, look at me" Callie slowly lifts her head to look into Arizona's angelic face.

"I love you. You ARE my everything and you DO give me everything. My heart belongs to you Calliope, but I can't erase my past. I can't erase Joshua and I'm not sure that I want to. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, until I met you. One day I want to marry you and have babies with you but if you can't handle the fact that Joshua might be a part of my life then I think you need to let me know" she knew that Callie was going to have a hard time dealing with this. The Latina was definitely the jealous kind and the fact that Lauren had been able to give Arizona a child before she could was something that could prove to be a giant obstacle in their relationship.

Arizona didn't even know how she herself felt about Lauren bringing Joshua back into her life, she was supposed to have gone to see him this afternoon but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. What if he didn't remember her? What if he did? What if when she looked at him she saw her son? Or maybe she would look at him and not see the boy she once knew. There were so many ways this could go and she just wasn't sure she was ready to face any of it yet, so she completely understood Callie's trepidation.

"I don't know if I can handle this Arizona. I want it to be me. I want to be the one who gives you your first child, the one who makes all your dreams come true and she's ruined it. It's ruined" the pain in Callie's voice was evident as she spoke these words to Arizona.

"I'm so sorry baby" Arizona moved forward to take Callie in her arms again but found that the brunette had quickly stood up from the lounge where they had been sitting. She felt her heart sink; Callie moving away from her was definitely not a good sign.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we just go to bed?" Callie put her hand out to the now shaking blonde. All Arizona could do was breathe a sigh of relief as she nodded her head and took a hold of her lovers hand before being led towards their bedroom.

They got changed into their pyjamas in silence and as the slipped into bed Callie rolled over onto her side, leaving Arizona unsure about what to do. They spent an awkward few minutes just laying there, Callie on her side with her back to her girlfriend and Arizona lying on her back staring at the ceiling. After what felt like an excruciatingly long time Callie reached her arm behind her to grasp Arizona's hand that was resting on her own stomach, Callie lifted the limb and draped it over herself as she tried her best to snuggle her back towards Arizona's front. Without hesitation the smaller woman wrapped her arm tightly around the love of her life and shifted her body closer to the beautiful body that was the object of all of her fantasies. She rested her in the crook of Callie's neck, taking in the sweet peppermint scent of Callie's raven coloured curls. Both of their bodies relaxed immediately after feeling how well their bodies moulded together, it was like they were made for one another. Just before drifting off to sleep Arizona whispered in Callie's ear.

"You are the one who makes all my dreams come true" and with that they drift off to sleep with their limbs tightly wrapped around one another.