Derpypigeon - Omg I'm actually so glad you said that. :D Honestly I wasn't sure about Nat in that last one, so it makes me happy that you liked her. :)

Big fan - Aww, thanks so much! ^-^ As for the request, that's actually not a bad idea. I might be able to fit it in somewhere, I think... maybe as a sort of an epilogue to the Nat pov chapters? I'll have to see, though. :)

Ok so again... this is terribly long, and I haven't totally decided if I like it.

I think it does have a few good bits though, so I hope you enjoy those at least! :)


When Natasha woke up the next morning, her mind was instantly flooded with memories of the disaster that was last night's 'date'. She grimaced at the recollection, trying hard not to replay her date's harsh words about Clint in her mind.

So, maybe hooking up isn't the best way to get Clint out of my head…

Her text alert went off. Natasha sat up and caught the phone from her nightstand.

The message was from Hill:

[9:03, Hill] ST Delta debrief Thurs undercover op Sat 11.

A debriefing for the Weber case – she'd been wondering when that was going to pop up. Normally, they ran debriefing almost directly after an op, so as to record the details while they were still fresh, but Natasha wasn't too concerned about the delay. She had a feeling that the details of the Weber op were going to stay clear in her mind for a very long time.

It was around then that it also clicked that Clint would be in the debriefing with her. Clint… Suddenly she was stuck wondering how she should act towards him.

I'll figure it out as I go along, she decided. As long as I don't mention the fact that I went on a date last night, I should be fine.

It occurred to her again to wonder why she was so determined for Clint to be unaware of her date. But rather than investigate the feeling further, she simply pushed it aside and got out of bed.

After breakfast and a quick shower, Natasha headed to HQ. It was around ten till eleven when she arrived, so she judged that she had enough time to grab a coffee from the café before the debriefing.

(Part of this decision may have been connected to the fact that she knew Clint often hung out in the café in the mornings.)

When she entered the café, she was immediately aware of her partner, sitting at a table near the center of the room. She debated whether or not to join him as she prepared her coffee, and finally decided in favor of it – she may have been trying to fall out of love with him, but he was still her best friend, and there was nothing wrong with her spending time with him.

(At least, that was the excuse she gave herself for heading over to his table.)

Clint was slouched over in his chair, scowling into his coffee cup when she slid into the seat across from him.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," he muttered, barely glancing at her.

Wow, he doesn't sound happy.

Natasha took a sip of coffee. "Looking forward to the debriefing?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Nah," Clint mumbled without looking up.

Natasha watched him, puzzled, as he continued to glower into his mug, fidgeting absentmindedly with the handle. Clearly he was ticked off about something, but she didn't know what.

"How was your meeting?" Clint growled after a moment.

Natasha's brow furrowed in confusion. Meeting?

"What?" she asked.

"Your meeting," he repeated, still glowering at his coffee. "You had a meeting last night, right?" He finally lifted his eyes, fixing her with an reproachful glare. "Kind of a weird time for a meeting."

It took her a moment to realize what he was getting at.

"Ohh," she said, her heart sinking. "Oh, that."

When he'd called her last night, he'd asked her where she was, and she'd told him that she was in a meeting with Fury. Natasha groaned inwardly – from the looks of it, he had known she was lying.

Still, she couldn't back out now.

"Yeah, it went alright," she fibbed. "It was a weird time – Fury called it up kind of last-minute. He got a report of another HYDRA attack. In Oakland," she added. Truthfully, she wasn't even sure why she was keeping up the charade at this point – it would be way too easy for Clint to disprove her story.

But, then again, she still didn't want to tell him about the date.

Clint was still fidgeting his cup, frowning at the tabletop. "Wonder why he didn't invite me."

Natasha hesitated. "Well… I don't know," she said slowly. "Maybe he figured you had enough on your plate."

It was a lame explanation, and she knew it. The Weber op had been Clint's first op in a long time, not counting the Dawson op (and that one had been hers more than his).

Natasha clenched her teeth, as the reason for Clint's irritation gradually came to light. He knew that she had lied to him last night, first of all, and secondly – she had snapped at him over the phone. Natasha cringed inwardly as she remembered how impatient she'd been with him. Suddenly she realized that she owed him an apology. She still didn't want to tell him about her date, and she still didn't plan to, but he still deserved at least that much from her.

Natasha took a steadying breath. "Look," she began. "About your phone call—"

"You were on a date, weren't you," Clint snapped. Natasha froze, her heart thumping loudly. How the hell did he…

Clint was scowling at her across the table, and she quickly arranged a frown of confusion on her brow.

"What?"

"I said," Clint snarled, "a date." He crossed his arms, glowering at her. "I heard what you were saying to him, you know: 'It's my work partner – why would I be here if I was in a relationship?'"

Natasha hesitated. Great. How'm I going to explain this one away. "Okay…" she began slowly. "I can see why you would think that, but—"

"Stow it, Romanoff," Clint said sharply. "I know you're lying to me."

Natasha exhaled in frustration. He had already figured it out – what was the point in pretending?

It was also at that moment that it hit her why she hadn't wanted him to know about the date. It was because somehow, on some level, she'd hoped that there might still be a chance for them. Even despite what she'd decided before, she'd still been holding out hope, so she hadn't wanted him to think of her as 'taken'.

Her face twisted into a frown when she realized it. She had to tell him, then – they couldn't be in a relationship even if Clint wanted it (which he probably didn't), so there was no point in deceiving him anymore.

"Alright," she snapped. "Fine. Yes, I was on a date. So what?"

Clint blinked. He flopped back into his chair, looking shocked, despite the fact that he'd already guessed the truth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said quietly.

"Why do you care so much?" she shot back. "It's not any of your business when I go on dates – I don't get why you're so mad about it." She glared at him.

Clint looked thoughtfully at her for a minute. "Well… because you're my best friend," he said. "So I figured you would want to talk to me about your boyfriends."

Boyfriends.

"He's not my boyfriend," she exclaimed. "We went on one date, and we probably won't again." More like definitely won't again.

Clint raised his eyebrows. "Well then why did you lie about it?"

"What's it to you," Natasha barked.

Clint's brow furrowed. "You don't need to get so defensive about it."

"And you don't need to harass me about it," she returned.

Clint's frown deepened. "I'm not 'harassing' you," he replied. "I'm asking you perfectly innocent questions."

He was right, and she knew it. But she was too stubborn to back down.

"And I'm asking you to shut up!" she said heatedly.

Clint blinked. "I just—"

"Well just shut up!" Natasha snapped.

Clint shut up.

A few minutes passed as they both sipped their coffee in tense silence. Clint had got out his phone and seemed to be texting someone, and Natasha scowled at her cup, thinking.

Her date was out in the open now, and it was probably for the best – but she still wished it wasn't, somehow. Also, it was growing painfully apparent that she needed to apologize to him – not only for last night, but for her harsh words just now, too.

She was trying to muster up the courage when she felt something brush past her leg under the table – unmistakably Clint's boot. She looked quickly at him, thinking it was his way of trying to get her attention, but his eyes were calmly scanning the room, and he didn't appear to have noticed the contact.

After a moment, she drew her leg away.

Barton's face was hidden behind his mug when Hill approached their table.

"Barton? Romanoff?" she said, and Clint's head snapped towards her. "Ready for you now."

Natasha stood up right away as Hill started back towards the hall. She heard Clint's footsteps behind her, and he appeared on her right.

Neither of them spoke as Hill led them towards the conference room, but Natasha could feel the tension hanging thick in the air between them. He was walking quite close to her, she noticed, almost too close – and then his bare arm brushed up against hers. Quickly, she edged away from him, annoyed at how her heartrate had spiked a little at the contact. He just touched her so seldom that it always caught her off guard when he did. She glanced up at him, but his eyes were fixed on Hill, and again, he didn't seem to have noticed the touch.

Hill led them into a small debriefing room and moved to the head of the table. Natasha followed, and when her partner passed her to circle around to the far side of the table, his arm brushed past hers again. Natasha watched him critically as she sunk into her chair. He still wasn't looking at her – his gaze was still focused on the commander as she sifted through a few folders. But Natasha could see something flickering in his eyes, and she knew he was doing it on purpose. He knew how particular she was about her personal space, so he was always careful to respect it; he couldn't have touched her that many times by accident.

Her mind quickly searched for a reason, and she settled on one: he was still angry with her, so he was expressing his frustration by deliberately intruding on her personal space. It wasn't like Clint to be petty, but it was the only explanation she could come up with that made any sense.

Of course, he had no way of knowing how marginally his little touches bothered her.

"Alright," Hill said, finally locating the correct file. "I'm going to start by reviewing your operation orders.

"Your orders as Director Fury supplied them were as follows…" She glanced at the file. "You were to follow up on an anonymous tip about a HYDRA agent who was reported to be in the area: Alrik Weber. You were ordered to attend a local charity party undercover in order to search for the agent. Should the target have been present, your job was to lure him to a secluded environment and take him down.

"According to our records, Agent Romanoff had never crossed paths with Weber, and Agent Barton had. Our only photograph of the target is inconclusive, and…"

Natasha had been paying close attention, but then she felt Clint's foot brush past her leg again, and suddenly she didn't know what Hill was saying anymore. She pulled her legs back without looking at him, but the contact was enough to distract her attention from the debriefing.

And then suddenly, unexpectedly, she found herself looking at her feelings for Clint in a whole new light.

All this time, she'd been afraid of falling in love with him. Afraid of what it would do for their partnership, for their friendship.

But suddenly she was thinking about how he made her feel. How she always looked forward to seeing him. How she always felt so safe and contented around him. How thrilled she felt every time he touched her.

And she realized then that at least part of the reason she was so afraid of loving him, was for fear that he didn't love her back.

Of course, there was still the fact that they were partners. The fact that their relationship could affect their field work.

But now she was realizing that she'd been focused on the negative effects of a relationship. She had been fixated on ways that love could make her weak, and she hadn't given a thought to the ways that love would make her strong.

Right now, for instance, she was so distracted by her feelings for him that she couldn't even focus on the debriefing. If she could just resolve her feelings, she knew how much more in tune she would be with her surroundings than she had been of late. And on the field, she and Clint were an unstoppable team, so dynamic and in-sync. But if they were in a relationship, wouldn't that make them even more connected with each other? Wouldn't their love make them stronger together?

These reflections were revolutionary for her, and her heartbeat was speeding up again. She tried to focus her attention on Hill again, but her mind was still spinning with these new ideas, and before she knew it, Hill was ending the debriefing, and instructing them to fill out mission reports before they left.

Clint stood up instantly and headed out of the conference room. Oh, right – he was still pissed at her.

She needed to apologize.

Natasha found Clint sitting in the report office, dutifully scribbling at a report sheet. Tentatively, Natasha slid into the seat beside him, and tried to concentrate on her report.

She was very aware of Clint's proximity to her, but she didn't speak to him for a few minutes, trying to decide the best time and way to bring up the subject.

Finally, she made up her mind to stop planning and just say it.

She turned abruptly to look at him, and he easily met her gaze.

"Look, Barton," she began, as he watched her calmly. She exhaled and pressed her lips together. "I've been thinking, and… I owe you an apology." She stopped. "Or. More than one, actually."

Clint merely raised his eyebrows.

Natasha took a slow breath.

"When you called… last night… I was really pissed off," she began haltingly. "And… I kind of took it out on you… You didn't deserve that."

Clint didn't answer. He just kept studying her.

Natasha swallowed. "And… I shouldn't have lied to you about where I was last night. I just…"

She dropped her eyes and took another deep breath. If she was really going to be open to a relationship, she had to tell him. She was suddenly aware of him shifting closer to her, waiting for her to speak.

"I just knew," she said quietly, "that if I told you I was on a date, you would take it as something serious. And it really wasn't," she added quickly. "It was actually just a blind date – there was some guy who Pepper wanted to set me up with, and…" She stopped herself. He probably wasn't interested in hearing the whole story of how she had ended up with that guy, and she wasn't all that eager to relive it either.

"Well," she said instead. "I wasn't – that is… I wanted you to know that I'm single."

Wait, what?

Oh, crap… what did I just say…

Natasha shook her head rapidly, unable to meet his eyes. "No, no, that came out wrong," she stammered. "I mean, I didn't want you to think I'm – I mean, well, I'm not – see, I just—" She stopped herself again and exhaled, trying to calm down a little. Oh, god… this is a disaster.

She could feel Clint's curious gaze on her, and she tried to recover herself again. "It wasn't exactly a date – or at least, it was, but I mean, it wasn't exactly, like, an official thing. You know? I mean, it sort of was, I guess, but not really – just in the way that, like, it was set up, and…"

She kept stumbling on, feeling heat rise steadily to her face. Oi, chertov… Since when did she get so tongue-tied around him?

Well, if he hadn't known that she was interested in him before, he certainly did now.

Clint cleared his throat, interrupting her ramblings. "So… the date didn't go well?"

Thank God.

"We ended up disagreeing," Natasha told her report sheet. For a brief second, she considered telling him exactly what she and her date had disagreed about, but she decided against it. Better not make herself look even more obsessed with him than she already did. "We were actually right in the middle of a shouting match when you called," she said instead. And by 'shouting match', I mean, my shouting was unmatched.

Clint remained quiet.

"Anyways." Natasha self-consciously tucked her hair behind her ear, relieved that she was finally in control of herself again. She even went so far as to meet Clint's gaze again, and her stomach flipped when she found his deep blue-gray eyes so near to hers. "I don't think I'll be seeing him again," she added. "He turned out to be kind of a jerk." She searched his face closely, subconsciously looking for a sign that he was happy to hear that she wouldn't be seeing the jerk again, but he just nodded evenly.

"Well, I'm sorry, too," he said. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you earlier – you were right, it wasn't really my job to grill you about your dates."

No, I was wrong, please grill me about my dates. It shows that you care, Natasha wanted to say. Instead, she just nodded.

Clint looked at her seriously for a minute.

"So… we good?" he asked.

Natasha managed a small smile. "Yeah. We're good." She held his gaze for a moment longer, then returned to her report.

She was very aware of Clint's gaze on her as she struggled to remember details from the mission. Well… she had finally done it. She had told him the truth, and she had shown him how she felt. Maybe even a little more than she'd intended to.

She wouldn't tell him how she felt right away, she decided – she'd try letting him in for a while, just to see what happened, and if he seemed interested, then maybe, maybe… it could lead to something more.

Suddenly Clint shifted beside her, and then she felt the side of his leg resting against hers. She went still, staring at her page, and for once, she made up her mind not to pull away from him. She decided to let him in.

Being open to love was nothing she had ever considered, and honestly, she wasn't a hundred percent sure why she was considering it – it had been such a sudden decision, and it would probably be disastrous.

But all she knew was that she loved Clint. And if loving him was disastrous, then maybe she was ready for a disaster.


This chapter was requested by and written for Little Toruk. I don't know you too well, but I'm really thankful for your kind comments, and even more thankful that you requested this chapter! I didn't realize how much I needed to write it from Nat's point of view till I did. :)

HUGE shoutout to all my readers. YES YOU. Thanks so much for checking this story out, and I really hope you're enjoying it!,! :D

Talia out!