A/N: I'm happy to announce that I have a bouncing baby boy currently occupying alot of my time along with his older sister. He was born July 8th and he is just wonderful! Unfortunately, sleep deprivation, endless laundry, round the clock feedings and all those nappy changes aren't conducive to alot of writing time, though I did manage to alleviate some stress by writing a bit this past month. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think and any feedback or suggestions you might have!

Disclaimer: Don't own...

Chapter 29: Moving Forward

Sarah tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. Her hand felt so heavy as she forced herself to raise it to the door and knock. Her stomach twisted at the thought of what she had to do. but she urged herself forward nonetheless.

The door creaked opened slightly, a wand pointing through the crack in it. "Who's there?"

Part of Sarah was surprised by the suspicious, cautious tone and the wand pointed in her direction. Then again, they were in a middle of a war and visits from Death Eaters were greatly feared even by those who always seemed fearless. Even though Fred and George were in hiding, there was always the constant fear of being found.

Sarah kept her tone calm even as the wand pointed in her direction. Her hand instinctively moved to the wand in her pocket and her fingers clasped its end, even though she didn't pull it out. "Fred, it's me. It's Sarah. Let me in"

The wand didn't move.

"And how am I supposed to know it is really you?" the voice inquired, coolly.

"Do you really think that Death Eaters would come knocking on your door? I think their style is more of breaking and entering" Sarah retorted. "It's me"

"Prove it" Fred insisted evenly.

"You asked me to the Yule Ball as we were hiding from Snape in a closet after releasing a portable swamp in Filch's office. We had our first kiss at the Yule Ball under the stars"

The door swung opened. "What are you doing here?" he asked, reaching out to grasp her arm and pull her inside, his head searching the hallway to make sure nobody was watching. "It's dangerous. How did you know where to find me?"

"Ron" Sarah replied. "He told me where to find you. We need to talk. And it can't wait" Sarah's eyes went to George, who was sitting on the couch. "Oh, hi, George"

Assessing the situation, George stood and took his plate of food in his hand. Walking over to her, he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well. I'll just be headed to bed now. Nice to see you"

Sarah nodded. "Same here" Fred and her watched as the bedroom door closed shut.

"Why aren't you at Hogwarts?" Fred turned to her, taking her hand and leading her to the couch. "Or with Harry. It's your birthday. You should be with Harry. What is going on?"

Sarah looked at her hand encased in his own. "You are going to hate me for what I'm about to tell you. And you will have every right"

Fred let go of her hand as he exhaled slowly. "What have you done now?"

Sarah balled her hand into a fist, still staring at it. "Harry needs more information. They don't have what they need to defeat you know who"

"It is really as bad as that?" Fred asked. "We all thought Harry knew how to defeat him-"

Sarah shook her head adamantly as she interrupted, "he doesn't. It was Lily's love and sacrifice that saved him the first time- not some innate ability. Just because he is called the 'chosen one' doesn't mean that he has it figured out. Quite the opposite"

"So, he needs you to help him figure it all out. You, Hermione and Ron"

"Yes, but we need more information to do so. And I have a way in- a way to possibly get that information. You know the interest you know who has in me. I tried to fight it and lead the resistance at Hogwarts the best I could, but they found out and then you know who destroyed an orphanage and said it was just the start if I don't stay in line. You know what he is capable of. You know he has to be stopped so I have to make him think I am giving him what he wants."

"What does that mean?" Fred asked, incredulously, trying to put the pieces together in his mind of where this was headed. "What do you mean a way in? Like spy?"

"Exactly" Sarah rubbed her hands over her face quickly as she turned her body to face him. "I can pass any information on to Harry and maybe we can stop him once and for all. But I have to be close by"

"And how will you do that?" Fred asked. "You do realize that this is bordering on insanity? You aren't a spy. That's not you" He groaned loudly, not hiding his exasperation with her and the situation.

"But it seems to be our only choice" Sarah argued. "I have to try"

"He'll kill you if he finds out" Fred argued. "It's too risky. Why would you even consider this?"

"I told you. They need more information and I could join Harry now, but there would be consequences for leaving and I won't live with myself if I bring harm to more people"

"So what are you planning to do? Become a death eater?" Fred laughed, his anger and bitterness with her choices finally seeping through after many months of patience. "They would never buy it"

"No, but they would believe me wanting to marry Draco" Sarah retorted, her voice quiet. "Marrying Draco is my in"

Fred stiffened. "No. "No way"

"It's not your choice" Sarah told him, her voice equally as firm. "It's mine"

"Oh really?" Fred retorted, angrily. "Last time I checked you were engaged to me. What about that?"

"I know" Sarah hung her head. "And I don't want to hurt you, but don't you see? I have to do this"

"I don't see. Join Harry. Fight you know who that way. Not by marrying bloody Draco Malfoy in attempts to be a spy, something that you would be utterly rubbish at, by the way"

"Your confidence in me is amazing" Sarah closed her eyes. "Inspiring. Thanks. I appreciate it"

"And you just throwing our whole future away is really making me wonder what happened to you. You aren't the same person I grew up with. That girl would never do that. She would fight for what she wanted. She wouldn't compromise herself for anything. What happened to you?"

Sarah stood and turned back towards him. "You're right. That girl doesn't exist anymore" Her voice cracked in utter defeat at what she knew all along was true.

Silence fell, before Fred interrupted, "Sarah, look, I didn't mean to say it that way..."

Sarah turned, holding up her hand. "No, let me explain. You are right. I'm shattered. He has shattered me. I have seen things...I have experienced things...I'm not the girl that you grew up with. And I'm not the girl you deserve to marry. I will never be that girl again, Fred"

Fred stood swiftly and gripped her shoulders. "Don't give up. You're giving up on what you want. You still deserve this- to have your dreams. We could have this. We could be happy. I could make you happy, Let me"

Sarah looked up at him, tears filling her eyes. "You have always made me so happy, Fred. But it isn't about me. And it's not about us. It's war and my place has been chosen for me. Please try to understand"

"No, I don't get it" Fred let go of her. "What do you want from me? You want me to say, 'Sure, Sarah. Go ahead. Marry Malfoy'. It's for the greater good. I can't do it. Because part of me thinks this is what you hoped for all along"

"What?" Sarah backed away. "That's crazy. You think I want this?"

They stared at each other for several moments before Fred just shook his head, defeated. "Just go. You need to get back to Hogwarts before they notice you are missing"

"Fred, please" Sarah begged.

"I can't tell you it's ok, Sarah because it's not" Fred responded bitterly. "I know you well enough to know that your mind was made up long before you came. I hope you don't regret this"

"I'm sure I will regret it" Sarah replied as she headed for the door. "But it is something that I feel like I have to do. We have to fight the fight the best way we know how and this is the best way I know how. Goodbye, Fred"

As she went to open it, Fred's voice called out. "Sarah?"

Sarah turned to look him in the eyes. Fred walked over to her quickly. Gripping her shoulders, he pulled her to him, hugging her. When he let her go, he kissed her cheek. "Be careful."

Sarah nodded. "Will you forgive me one day?"

Fred smile was forced. "One day"

"Not today"

"Not hardly"

"I do love you" Sarah told him. "I do"

"I know, I'm just sorry it's not enough" Fred opened the door for her. "Goodbye, Sarah"

"Goodbye" And with that, Sarah walked away from the man who always made her laugh, who added so much light in her life after the dark times. And she had to live with the regret that she hurt him deeply.


Sarah returned to Hogwarts, her heart bursting with the emotions of the evening. She was thankful she didn't get caught sneaking out, she was glad to see Harry, she was worried about their lack of a plan, she was scared of what Snape would say of her decision to return, but most of all, she was shattered by the knowledge of how much she hurt Fred. He had always been so happy and carefree and so good to her. He added so much light to the dark times of her growing up years and she had taken all his love and kindness and stomped on it. She didn't want to think of it that way, but it was true.

It was late when she entered Snape's quarters again. The room was dark as she cast lumos as she made her way across the room, headed to her room.

"Sarah"

She jumped at the sound of Snape's voice. Snape quickly turned on the light to reassure her that it was him.

"I thought you were in bed" her shoulders slumped forward as she extinguished the light emitting from her wand with a single command. "Nox"

"I wanted to wait here in case you decided to return" Snape informed her. "In case you needed me" He swung his feet down from their perch on the ottoman and inclined his head towards the empty seat in an invitation. "Come"

Part of her wanted to shut him out, to punish him for the past few months, by turning him away. But she couldn't. She needed his comfort, more than she needed revenge. She pocketed her wand and changed course to go sit in front of him, as she had done many times growing up.

"Are you alright?" Snape studied her, his gaze intent.

Not able to trust her voice at the moment, Sarah shook her head from side to side.

Snape sighed and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "Potter has no idea about the rest of the horcruxes, does he?"

Sarah cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the lump that was making it hard to swallow and respond. "Noooo"

Snape closed his eyes, trying to contain the frustration he was feeling at Sarah being put in this position. "Are you truly ready to put yourself in this position? You have to be 100% committed to this course to see it through"

Sarah waited a while before responding, choosing her words carefully. "I'm not ready, but at the same time, I have to be. This is my role in the war. And some could argue it's been my fate chosen for me. And you didn't raise me to back down from a challenge, sir."

"True" Severus folded his hands together. "I will help you with whatever you need, Sarah Grace, if this is the course that you have chosen" Severus paused.

"You are disappointed with me?" Sarah asked, shyly.

"You are of age. As much as I would like to order you to go on the run with Harry, or at least give up this idea, it is your choice. It is a new role for me as your dad, but I have to let you make these choices and support you through it"

"But are you disappointed?" Sarah pressed.

"Maybe a bit" Snape told her honestly. "But it is your choice and we move on from here..." he paused again, his demeanor softening, "what about Weasley?" he inquired, gently. "You need to take care of things on that end"

Sarah avoided his gaze, knowing that if she looked at him in that moment that she would break down. "I took care of it already"

Snape waited and Sarah continued, "I think he must hate me. I hate me for it"

His gaze turned sympathetic. "The hard part of this course, Sarah, is that your feelings, your wishes, your desires must become secondary to your mission" Snape told her. "And often the feelings of others. You have to harden your heart to it- it was what caused me to be a good spy, my ability to shut people out even your mother- until you came along"

"But you still managed it" Sarah pointed out.

"Yes" Snape responded, "but not without great sacrifices. I lived these past months haunted about what I did to you. The pain was intense, the regret constant. It wasn't easy"

"I think I'm beginning to see that" she gave him a small smile. "Fred said I would be horrible at this. I'm not feeling overly confident"

"Hum" Snape thought for a moment. "While I agree with him, that it isn't the most logical choice given your personality- your care of others and your genuine nature-you have shown great resolve and determination in the past- along with the fact that you are incredibly bright, talented and often resourceful, I think you could manage to pull this off. Don't sell yourself short- or let others do so for you. Do not mistake me. It will be extremely difficult and even when you put yourself in the situation, you may not get the information you hope for. And it may not end well for any of us, but I don't think it is quite as hopeless as Mr. Weasley is making it out to be"

"So, where do we go from here?" Sarah asked.

"We go to bed. In the morning, we will meet with Draco and figure out how to best proceed. Get some rest. We have some challenges ahead"

Sarah nodded. "Yes, sir" She stood and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I've missed you, Dad"

Snape reached to grab her wrist as she backed away. "Thank you for allowing me to resume my role as your father without pushing me away. I know you were tempted tonight to tell me to shove off and head to your room"

Sarah smiled. "You know me well."

"I do" Severus replied. "And you need to rely on me to get through this. I have been here before and I can help you, but not if you shut me out. You must trust me, Sarah. I know it is undeserved, but imperative to our survival nonetheless"

"I will try" Sarah responded. "Thank you for listening tonight. Goodnight, sir"

"Goodnight, Sarah Grace"


That morning, Sarah's nerves were frayed as she showered and dressed before breakfast. While she cared and trusted Draco and this year, they had managed to get their friendship back, she was still nervous to see him after making this decision. Their conversations about it so far had been so awkward, even though Draco clearly was willing to do this.

"Sarah" Snape knocked at at her allowance, popped his head in her room. "Time for breakfast. Draco is here already"

"Ok" Sarah took a deep breath and let it out slowly, causing Snape to frown.

"Nervous?" he asked. "Do you need a moment?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, I'll be ok. Let's go" She followed Snape down the small hallway into the dining room.

Draco rose when he saw her. "Morning, Black" he kissed her on the cheek and Sarah smiled at him in return.

"Morning, Draco" She sat down on the side of their small four person table, with Snape and Draco at both ends. She looked at the spread of eggs, bacon, toast and jam.

She put her hand on her stomach, which began to rumble in response. "I don't think I realized how hungry I was until I looked at the food"

"You haven't been eating much, Black" Snape commented as he held out his hand for her plate and began to fill it for her. "You need your strength"

"Yes sir" Sarah took the plate and started to eat. "Can I have some coffee?"

Snape grunted, but poured her a cup. "I suppose so, since you are of age. A bad habit to get yourself into though"

Sarah stirred sugar into it and took a sip. "Like you are one to talk"

Snape ignored her comment and poured his own cup of coffee. They ate in silence, not feeling up to small talk. It was different than how breakfast normally was with the three of them and the awkwardness with evident to all. When they were finished, Snape pushed aside his plate and cleared his throat.

"Now that we have finished, let's talk" Snape folded his hands. "Have you two discussed this between the two of you?"

Sarah looked at Draco, who reached underneath the table and put a hand on her knee. "Only briefly" he responded.

"And Draco, are you sure you are prepared to take this on?" Snape asked.

"You act like I'm such a burden" Sarah mumbled and Snape's look was severe in response.

"Actually, you will be a burden to him" Snape retorted, firmly. "You are making his life infinitely more complicated when the best thing for him to do is lay low"

"With the Dark Lord living at his home and Bellatrix as his aunt, it's not like he can lay low" Sarah argued. "And regardless, he doesn't have to do this. I'm not forcing him to do this"

"Actually" Draco interrupted, "I'm willing to do this for you, Sarah, regardless of how complicated it makes things. I know you are determined to do this and aware of your agenda behind it, but the reason I am doing this is because it may be the best way I can protect you if you will let me. That's the only way this will work is if you allow me to do what I need to do to protect you"

"What does that mean?" Sarah asked him, curiously and when Draco struggled to put his thought into words, Snape intervened.

"It means" Snape turned to Sarah, "that you need to assume the role of a wife of a Death Eater"

"But Draco isn't really a Death Eater" Sarah protested. "Don't group him with them"

Draco's expression turned pained as he squeezed her knee. "Sarah, it's not that simple"

"What does that mean?" Sarah asked, incredulously. "I know you have been conflicted in the past, but your willingness to help me, that must show that you are not really one of them. They would never do that. And you only started this because of your family- you would have never ended up here otherwise, right?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Black" Snape retorted, without waiting for Draco to respond. "He is a death eater, regardless of his motivation of why he became one or whether he performs his duty out of obligation to his family or for some other reason. If you are going to marry him, you need to accept that this is where he is at and move on. And all of this conversation is secondary to what we need to focus on. The Dark Lord has expectations of how the relationship between a husband and a wife should be. He will expect Draco to make sure that you submit to him. And that would be the reason he would agree to such a marriage is to use it as a way to tame you and reign you in so he can mold you. And Draco's position as your husband will allow for some protection for you as well"

"I know this is hard for you to accept" Draco dropped his hand off her knee. "But I'm helping you for you, not because I am siding with Potter. I'm conflicted with how I really feel and you need to know that I do submit to the Dark Lord's wishes and obey his orders. Part of me has to do it for my family, but I'm not good, Sarah"

"But, Draco..." Sarah couldn't finish, so she looked helplessly at Snape, who shrugged.

"Things are not just light or dark, Black" he reminded her. "You are about to become aware of how complicated morality is and to get your information, you might have to compromise your values. You have to decide how far you will go including whether to align yourself with Draco, who is unsure of where he is"

"I guess the question is, Sarah" Draco looked at her intently, reaching across the table to clutch her fingers "do you trust me even if I am unsure of where I stand?"

Sarah searched his face for several moments, before responding, "I have always trusted you, Draco"

He smiled at her. "Then, it's going to be alright"

Snape cleared his throat once again, "As touching as that is, let's get back to it. Draco, your goals entering this arrangement is to keep Sarah safe, is that correct?"

Draco nodded, "Absolutely"

Snape turned to Sarah, "And your goals?"

"I want to be in a position to help Harry with information if I can, but beyond that to keep you and Draco safe from retaliation if I leave" Sarah responded.

"Ok" Snape tapped his hands on the table. "And, how far are you willing to go to accomplish your goals, Sarah?" When Sarah didn't respond, he pressed, "In my course of a spy, I have had to do things that I find morally appalling, but I do it to achieve the end goal. While I don't think the Dark Lord will force your hand in that way, I can foresee him wanting you two to leave Hogwarts to stay at Malfoy Manor to keep you closer, in which case, he might prefer overseeing your education and all that comes of that. While that might be objectionable to you, would you do that if it puts you in the position of possibly overhearing things to obtain information to help Harry?"

Sarah looked between Snape and Draco and then answered quietly, "yes"

"And are you two are prepared to consummate the marriage?" he asked, seriously.

Sarah felt the blood rush to her face as she groaned, "Dad, please"

"Get used to it, Sarah" Snape retorted. "You are entering a culture where your every move will be scrutinized. If the Dark Lord removes you two from Hogwarts and wants you housed in Malfoy Manor for the school year, you will be required to attend social functions. Every word, every interaction between the two of you will be watched and analyzed. You are Harry Potter's best friend and you will automatically be the source of curiosity and scrutiny. And if the Dark Lord doesn't believe the marriage is real, you two are both in danger"

"We can handle it, Uncle Sev" Draco reassured him and reached back under the table to squeeze her knee, reassuring her of his intentions. "I'll help Sarah with whatever she needs while in those situations. We'll figure it out together"

"And are you willing to go against your father to marry Sarah?" Snape asked quietly. "Lucius will fight this arrangement quite vigorously and the Dark Lord may listen to him"

Draco paused, his face pained. "Yes, if that is what it takes"

"Ok, then, this is what I think we should do. I will approach the Dark Lord on Draco's behalf as his godfather and see what he says" Snape told them.

"When?" Sarah asked, her heart jumping.

"Today"

"Today?" she reached underneath the table to clasp Draco's hand in hers. Draco searched her eyes at the sudden move and uttered reassuringly, "It will be ok, Black. We will do this together."

Sarah nodded, taking a deep breath. She turned to her uncle. "Will this put you in a compromised position with the Dark Lord? Do you think he will suspect the change in our relationship?"

Snape frowned, his eyes piercing hers. "Do not worry about me. You have enough to worry about" He rose. "I'll be back soon"

Sarah and Draco both stood. "Dad, please be careful" she entreated and Snape leaned over to kiss her head.

"I'll be back soon" he repeated. "Draco, stay here with her"

"I will" Draco replied and Snape left, leaving the two of them alone.

They worked to banish the breakfast dishes to the kitchens. They settled in the living room, Sarah sitting in Snape's chair while Draco sat on the couch. Draco idley flipped through a magazine, while Sarah tried to catch up on some school work. They were comfortable not talking, especially about what was to come. After an hour, Sarah flung aside her books and got up and began to walk around the room. Draco looked up and watched her.

"He should be back by now" Sarah paced circles in the living room, agitated. "What if something went wrong? What if he found out?"

Draco stood and came behind her to grip her shoulders and turn her towards him. "You have got to calm down, Black. Uncle Sev can take care of himself. He will be fine"

Sarah bit her lip. "Is this the stupidest thing we have ever done, Draco? Will it be a disaster? I mean can we do this? Can we be married and can I be your wife? I mean, is it fair to you?"

Draco reached and traced the side of her face with his finger. "Fair to me? I get what I always wanted- you. It killed me to know you were with Weasley and that you wanted to marry him"

Sarah's face twisted in regret and Draco frowned, "I know it was horrible for you to break it off with him. And I'm sure you don't want to talk about it with me. But you did the right thing for everyone involved. It protects you and ultimately it does protect Weasley"

"I doubt he sees it that way" Sarah murmured, her head hung.

Draco frowned as he lifted up her head to look at him. "I know you still care for him, but I need to know this- do you care any for me?"

Sarah looked up and saw a vulnerability there that Draco only let her see. And it moved her. She reached to take his other hand in hers. "I feel like we recaptured some of what we had back this year. You have always been special to me- a steady friend. And that has never changed. And there are moments, that despite my best efforts to squash it, I have felt more. I don't understand how it is possible, but I don't think I ever truly let go of the feelings I had for you. I just tucked them far away inside me and made room for other possibilities. I hate how that sounds"

"And do you think with time, they could come back out again? That we could have what we had before?" Draco asked.

"I don't think it will ever be the same as before" Sarah commented, squeezing his hand, "We are older now, marked by what we have seen and done. But it may be better for it, you know?"

Draco let go of her hand to grasp her forearm, pulling her slowly closer to him. "I like the idea of better" he whispered, his voice deep and full of emotion. Sarah's heart jumped as she anticipated his next move, but before anything could happen, a throat cleared and she jumped out of his arms, Draco holding her so she didn't stumble backwards.

"Sorry to interrupt whatever might have happened next" Snape shifted awkwardly in the doorway, "but Sarah Grace, you need to change your clothes. Wear a dress- something that makes you look more mature- marriageable. The Dark Lord wants to see you and Draco"

Sarah searched Snape's expression as Draco's hand squeezed hers. "Is it bad, sir?"

"I think he is amendable to the idea, but you may have some convincing to do to convince him that this is legitimate, especially since Lucius is putting up a fight. Go on now and hurry. Don't forget to bring you wand"

Sarah's heart skipped once again as her nerves fluttered. She was going face to face with Voldemort- yet again.

A/N: I'm loving writing Snape taking over dad role again. It will be interesting as he moves into parenting an adult and being more of a mentor to her through this journey. In other words, he can't just order her to do or not to do things anymore, which will be a new role for him to let her make her choices and mistakes, but to support her through it. And what about Draco and Fred? Poor guys...