The orchids were blooming again, another spring had come upon him and still no sign of his Rosyth. He tried not to give in to the swirling whirlpool of depression that had taken up residence in his heart. It was getting harder to resist its call. With his book on the ruins around their estate complete, there was nothing for him to divert himself with. There were still the occasional visits from Bel'rok and her son and the missives from his friends in the capital, but with time the distraction they used to bring was growing less and less.
A hand closed on his shoulder and Daniel shut his eyes. "Are you telling me I should not brood so, Maria?" He turned to look at his enigma, a small smile on his face which faded at the sight of her. Her expression was drawn and wary, her shoulders tense. "Has something happened? Are you all right?" Daniel was on his feet at once, grasping her. If anything were to happen to her, if he were here alone…he would slowly lose his mind.
She shook herself free and beckoned him to follow. As agitated as she now, Daniel trailed after her, twisting the ring on his finger around and around. She led him to the elevator and down to the ground floor. With a flick of her wrist to the machine, she indicated he was meant to turn it off. He complied with a show of reluctance. The lightning that protected their home from intruders fizzled and died.
Was it his imagination, or did Maria draw in a breath to steady herself as she soundless glided to the door? Perhaps they had a visitor, perhaps…He tried to smother the hope before it fully formed. He could not take another disappointment, another heartbreak.
The door was thrown open and Daniel had to rise on his toes to see over Maria's shoulders. He reeled back immediately. It was a creature from his nightmares, a misshapen monstrosity, its jaws hanging open onto its breast, it eyes bulbous and unblinking. He pulled on Maria's robe, urging her to flee back to the elevator, to slam the door in that damned thing's face.
She looked over her shoulder and raised a finger to her lips. Calm down? The nerve! Did she not realize the danger that was at their very doorstep? She turned her attention back to their guest and extended a hand imperiously to it. The creature grunted and flung an arm out at Daniel, who shrank behind Maria's tall form.
Her shoulders rose and fell and she again extended her hand to the creature, palm up. The creature looked at her, then at Daniel. Apparently giving him up for a lost cause, he placed his charge into her waiting palm: a thought-canister.
Maria snarled and Daniel jumped, still not used to her occasion utterance. She pointed-with one finger-into the Waste. Their gruesome visitor made a violent slashing motion in the air between them. It gestured at the canister and then stabbed a finger at Daniel. He did not need it explained to him that the creature had been told to wait for a reply to whatever message it had been forced to bring.
With a tilt of her head to show she understood, Maria slammed the door in the messenger's face. When Daniel held out his hands for the canister, she hesitated, glancing down. A shudder ran down his spine. Was it bad news then? Was it a missive to tell him that…That Rosyth had… Almost sick now, he put a shaking hand on Maria's arm. "Please, my friend. You will have to let me have it eventually."
Her black eyes studied his face for a long moment. She tapped the crest on the side of the canister, bringing it to Daniel's attention. "Oh," he said weakly, his blood turning to ice water within his veins; the missive hailed from the emperor. "Is there any way we can…" He made a pushing gesture and wondered what he had meant by it. Destroy the messenger and pretend they had never received the message? Throw the damn thing away or damage it and blame it on their guest?
She held it out to him, shaking her head. Whatever the thought-canister bore, it was inevitable. When his hand closed around it, images rose in his mind; words being written on a blankness that filled his world. Even though the script was still beyond him despite his studies, he could understand it as long as he clutched the device. As soon as the blood-red writing was finished with a flourish, Daniel threw the canister across the room. His breath was coming too fast, his throat almost rubbed raw by it. He took a step towards the elevator and staggered, his old injury giving a rare flare of pain.
Maria's hand shot out and steadied him. Daniel tried to speak, but no sound would leave his lips. He looked up at her in misery, a clear invitation for her to wrap her arms around him and gather him to her breast. Her hand stroked his hair, his back, soothing him as if he were a small child. Daniel welcomed it, needed it as he struggled with his emotions.
Finally he gained enough control to fist his hands in her robe and pull away. Rubbing his face and then smoothing back his hair, he began to pace. She pointed at the canister.
"It was from the emperor himself. He wants me to…" His vision started to grow grey around the edges and he tried to dispel it with a vicious shake of his head. "He has personally 'wrote' to tell me that he regrets to have to be the one to inform me that all hope of either of my…friends"-the emperor had written a word whose meaning was closer to 'suitors'-"returning is now little to nil." Daniel laughed and cringed when what came out made him seem unhinged. "He offers me succor in the capital, advising that being closer to my friends will help me through my grief." He spat out a curse he had not known he remembered until that moment. "The nerve! This damned thing is practically a royal summons! How can I possibly refuse?" Daniel's hand went up to his neck as he remembered Hy'vel's work for the court's entertainment. Surely the emperor had found a suitable replacement by now. "How can I go?" he muttered. The warnings from Bel'rok rang through his head. Without a doubt retuning to the capital would spell his death.
Maria's arm was around his shoulders again and he turned so his cheek was pressed into the curve of her neck. "What am I to do? Either way would spell my doom."
Maria gestured at the canister and put her palms together-not an easy task with Daniel still latched on to her. She slowly drew them apart and then gestured again at the damned thing.
"I should ask for more time," Daniel hazarded. "But it is surely a delaying tactic only. We will have to think of something else besides that."
Her nod was almost enthusiastic. She motioned at themselves and then flung a hand out to indicate the door.
"We flee." Daniel's voice was small. "Oh Maria, I do not know if-"
She stabbed a finger at the metal cylinder and then pointed in the direction the capital surely must have lain. Her eyebrow was raised in challenge.
"And if your brother returns to find the keep empty, what then?"
The expression on her face, the contempt in it, made Daniel draw back. Obviously she thought it would serve her brother right to come home to an empty house. Daniel's stomach gave a painful clench. "At the very least, I will ask the emperor for more time. I can play the part of the sorrowful, still hopeful lover all too well."
Maria snorted and Daniel jumped. "Maria, please!" She truly was getting more…human with the passing years. It was times like this one when he almost missed her eerie silences. He fetched the canister from where it had rolled and grimaced at the small dent in the side. Hopefully the emperor would think it damaged in the trip. Daniel smiled grimly. No, he would guess properly how it had come about. Guess and be pleased at the torment he had inflicted. "Bastard," Daniel said under his breath as he pressed the hidden button that would erase the message and let him 'write' one of his own.
When the messenger had the canister tucked into his voluminous sleeve, it gave Daniel a quick bow before it turned to leave.
"I assume it came by a Traveller's Locket." Maria did not reply, her eyes focused on the diminishing shape as if to make sure it was well and truly leaving.
Daniel crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway, exhausted of a sudden. "I asked for a year. To make sure. I also gave a bunch of twaddle about being touched by his concern and how he took the time to remember little, insignificant me."
Maria raised an eyebrow and Daniel gave her a playful shove. "Stop that, you are as bad as Rosyth! If anything he means to murder me, not bed me!"
Maria huffed and rolled her eyes. There was nothing for Daniel to do but laugh.
He knew he must be dreaming for he was nestled in a cocoon of furs and there was the crackling of a fire. When he had fallen asleep, the night had been unseasonably warm, forcing him to kick off his sheets and open the wall unto the garden. He also appeared to be nude, something he had not indulged in since Maria had practically taken up residence in his room.
A hand ran down his back, fingers barely skimming his spine and Daniel shivered despite the warmth of the room. He was not alone in this bed it seemed.
"It's working," the voice that murmured in his ear sounded surprised-and ungodly pleased.
Daniel stiffened under the caresses, steeling himself to slowly turn over to see his bedmate. Alexander smirked down at him, propped up on his elbow. It was a struggle to not groan and roll back over, pulling the blankets over his head.
"Pray, what is work-" He let out a startled cry as Alexander grabbed his chin and claimed his lips. In spite of its violence, there was a certain degree of finesse in the kiss. If Daniel only closed his eyes, it was almost as if… He tried to push Alexander away from him, but was rewarded with bony fingers twisting in his hair for his efforts. When Alexander finally let them part, both men were gasping for breath. Daniel did not like the hungry look in Alexander's feral eyes, nor the way the hand under the blanket was now on his thigh, light as a spider.
"Sir," he began, attempting to reason with the mad man. Alexander crushed Daniel to him again, kissing not only his mouth, but any part of his face that he could reach in spite of Daniel's struggles. Keeping a firm hold of his prize, he buried his face in Daniel's hair.
"I had almost forgotten how you smelled."
Revolted, Daniel bit at the collarbone his face was presently smashed against. It did not get the reaction he had been hoping for as a purring type of sound reverberated through the chest he rested against and he was soon thrown flat on his back.
It took Alexander no time at all to roll on top of him and effortlessly hold his wrists still by pinning them to the mattress. The baron was unclothed as well, Daniel was not happy to notice. Inside himself there was a treacherous little squirm as his body recalled what usually followed such play in bed. And the white hair and gold eyes were not so unlike his Rosyth's and it had been such a long, long time since that particular hunger had been appeased…Besides, it was only a dream.
Daniel caught himself leaning up to meet Alexander's mouth and flattened himself against the pillows. "Sir, please stop!" Alexander chuckled and brushed their noses together, nipping the tip. "I am bespoken," Daniel finally managed to squeak out.
That halted Alexander. A white eyebrow arched and he pushed himself up to get a good look at his prey. "Bespoken, is it?" The smile on his thin lips was almost playful. "Your lover has been neglecting you, if I am any judge." His tone was teasing, though the roll of hips decidedly was not.
Daniel had to bite his lip to keep silent. One of his wrists was released and fingers ran through his hair, pausing to give a strand a tug. Alexander lowered his voice, "Perhaps you would permit me to fulfill the duties owed you." He lowered himself until he and Daniel were pressed firmly together. Daniel clutched at his shoulder, fingers scrabbling against the surprising muscle he found there. "Let's test how bespoken you really are." The words were whispered into his ear, followed by a bite on his earlobe. Daniel shuddered and Alexander made a noise that was almost a moan. "I've missed you." It was almost a sob.
Daniel shot bolt upright in the bed-his bed he was pleased to see. His heart was pounding hard against his ribs and he pressed his hand against it.
Maria raised her head from its perch on the arm of the chair she was presently curled up in. Daniel forced a quivering smile. "It was only a dream."
Slowly she returned to her slumber and Daniel just as slowly lay back down. Surely it was not adultery if it was a dream, but he still felt dirty. He cursed his sleeping mind. What a cruel, cruel organ it was to give him such dreams in times of stress. Taking his longing for Rosyth and twisting it up to where the only way he could get satisfaction was by lying in the arms of his worst enemy! He muttered a prayer before he closed his eyes. He prayed for a dreamless rest, and he prayed for his Rosyth's return.
Daniel was surprised at the quick return of their fiendish messenger 'boy'. Scarce two days had passed before he was knocking on their door again. Maria and the monstrosity eyed one another warily as Daniel touched the cylinder to unlock the message. Again the spidery, blood-red script filled his mind and again the message left him with a disquiet that shook him to the marrow of his bones.
The demand was prettily crouched in terms of concern and even endearment. Reading between the lines Daniel could tell that the fiend was restraining himself from sending an armed battalion to Daniel's gate and dragging him out by the hair, which made the small acquiescence to his wish surprising. Maybe not that surprising after all, Daniel mused tapping the canister against his cheek in thought. Was it not more fun, more satisfying, to have one's prey walk into the lion's den of their own volition?
The emperor would not give him a full year, but the turning of two seasons only. At the end of that, he would expect Daniel to take his place in court. There was a small assurance that his property would still be his, but for his 'safety' the emperor would much prefer to have Daniel somewhere where an eye could be kept on him.
"I wonder if he suspects that I might be the cause of the sedition that is running rife?" Daniel had to laugh at the thought. Surely the man could not be that paranoid. If anything, Daniel's first and last visit to the capital had proven how ignorant and bumbling he was when it came to the culture of this land.
He sent his thanks to the emperor, making sure the reply was suitably humble and touched. Two seasons…It was not much, but it was better than an order for his immediate presence.
As soon as the messenger had turned to leave, Maria was tugging on his sleeve, pointing to the distance. He patted her hand. "I know, Maria. And I will. Just give me a bit more time."
The reason for the emperor's leniency came the day after, brought by a runner from Bel'rok's band. Daniel offered the exhausted girl a room in the castle for the night, but she looked at him aghast. "The place is not haunted," he assured her with a smile.
"If it isn't, it's a miracle." She peered up at the impossible peaks and spires. "I would rather not take my chances. If it isn't haunted, it sure as the hells is cursed."
Daniel sighed. He had been looking forward to a spot of company. He still sought to be as hospitable as possible and offered the girl a meal for her troubles. This she had no qualms accepting. Standing at the door and waving at her periodically as she turned to thank him again and again, he remembered the reason for her visit.
The envelope was crumbled and the stains of travel were upon it. Recognizing the handwriting, he ripped open the seal and skimmed over the message. "Our friends at the capital are loyal; I will say that for them. Loyal or fool hearty." Maria materialized out of the shadows and cocked her head in query.
"Ke'thrala stood up to the emperor on my account," he explained. Maria's flinch did not go unnoticed. Not for the first time Daniel wondered about their connection, if they had been especially close friends. "She begged him to consider my sensitive state of mind," he continued, "and counseled that letting me come to terms with Rosyth's…absence in my own time would be best for me." He snorted. "As if the emperor gives a fig to my 'sensitivities'. I cannot tell if she described me as a shrinking violet or off with the fairies… Regardless, she got what she sought out to do: buy me time." He left out the part of Franmarrow's letter where he stressed that Ke'thrala had put herself in the way of harm, both to her reputation and to her body, to beseech the emperor. Daniel did not know what to make of the last few lines which stated that even though the couple had offered to have Daniel stay with them, the emperor had refused and insisted he stay in accommodations in the palace. Those lines were rather ominous and he did not see the need to worry Maria over them.
"We could place a fun bet on this: what are the emperor's intentions with me? Death or…"
Maria smacked his face lightly and pointed vehemently to the doors. Daniel smiled. "You are right. It would be an unfair wager since we will not be here to find out the answer."
Saying he would leave his home and all the wonderful memories he and Rosyth had made within its walls was one thing, actually making himself make it a reality was an entirely different creature. Maria had to cajole, threaten and finally force him to begin his packing. It was a hard task. Though he had thought he had had little in the way of personal possessions, when confronted with the choice of what he would take and what must be left behind he realized that he had entirely too many. And too many memories he would feel he was betraying if he were to leave anything behind. He knew that Maria went through his bags after him and made more practical decisions. He thought it was practical of him not to go behind her back and check what she had taken away and what she had replaced it with.
They methodically went through the castle room by room, combing for anything that might be useful on their travels. Afterwards the door of the room they had finished searching would be closed and Daniel would raise a shaking hand to trace the symbol that would lock it. Only his hand or Rosyth's would open that door next. He also started the grim task of turning off the machines in the attic that they had no need for anymore. He was consigning entire wings to eternal darkness and felt sick with each twist of his spanner.
Less than a week before they were meant to leave with Bel'rok's caravan and Daniel still could not make himself believe that he would really leave. A new chapter of his life was about to begin…and he did not welcome it. He was so tired of starting over, had thought he had finally earned a bit of peace for the remainder of his days. What a fool he was.
The morning was spent writing a letter to Franmarrow. It was innocuous enough, but he had faith that his friend was astute enough to read beyond the phrasing to understand that it was a goodbye. He hoped that it would not be forever.
Afterwards, he leaned back in his chair and absently stroked the leather bound book. His book. When he had first received it from Franmarrow he had kept it by his side for days, reaching into his pocket to caress it as if it were some sort of pet. Now the novelty of it has worn off, but he still liked it near. It acted as a sort of testament, a sign that he was real and not a forgotten ghost. He wondered if the publication of it was what had brought the emperor's attention back to him again. Ah, well. He would not change it if he could. The writing of it had given him a measure of peace.
Daniel stood and placed the book under his arm. He supposed he should start thinking of writing another. Bel'rok had promised him the visiting of grander ruins and he should not let such an opportunity go to waste. Maria rose for her chair to accompany him, but he waved her to be seated once more. "I need to take a walk by myself, my friend. My head is in want of clearing." She was not happy with it but let him. Perhaps she worried for his mental state. He wished he could assure her that he had no plans of throwing himself from the parapets. He could not deny that she was very keen when it came to reading his moods though.
Instead of going to the gardens, he followed his habitual walk to the newer wing of the floor. He paused at the open corridor and stared out at the desert. How odd that he was finally going to see what lay beyond those dunes. The guestroom was his next stop. He had to blink away the tears that suddenly sprang to his eyes and shake himself angrily.
Here was where it had all began, his ill fated romance. Here his Rosyth had nursed him back to health; here they had begun to fall in love with one another. Daniel had to smile as he remembered what an awkward piece of work he had been in those first few weeks. As rickety on his feet as a new born colt, his mind ravaged by the events that had transpired to bring him to this lonely keep with its taciturn guardian. Tumbling out of bed and crawling to the bathing room, falling asleep in Rosyth's lap with those graceful fingers in his hair…
He wiped the tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand. They had been happy. Even if it was only for little over a year, they had found happiness in each other. It was more than Daniel had expected when he had fled the terror of Brennenburg, when he had awoken to find himself in the Waste. Most people go through their whole lives without finding their soul mate. He was lucky to have had him, he kept telling himself, but it did little to ease the pain in his chest as his heart broke.
Maria found him as dusk was breaking. After the guestroom, Daniel had gone to Rosyth's rooms and, after wandering aimlessly around them, had taken up a vigil on the balcony. The soft tapping on the wall did not make him turn around. "My friend," he said softly. "Leave me. If you have any love for me at all, leave me here. Just for tonight." She squeezed his shoulder and left with the sound of her robes scrapping the smooth floor.
"I am no longer afraid of the night," he said to the rising moon. "You helped me with that, my love. You…" Daniel collapsed against the railing and wept. Come tomorrow he would be strong for Maria, he would smile as they met Bel'rok's caravans and he would be thankful, but tonight, just tonight, he could let his grief ride him. He could mourn his lost love properly and he could finally admit to himself that there would be no homecoming. Rosyth was lost among the worlds, among the stars, and his gods had not even the decency to give his lover a body to weep over.
He spent the night curled up beneath the gruesome bones of the dragon-he did not know if it was so in truth, but it did look very much like one. Gazing up at its toothy maw upon waking he felt a twinge of regret. All the small fights he had had with his Rosyth, all the moments of piqué and bickering that would have been better spent making love or just holding a hand. If he had only known how little time they would have had left.
Breakfast was on the table with a sprig of orchids. Touched, he reached out for a cup of Oo-luk. The cup was still warm. Maria must have just missed his awakening. He had to keep his blessings in mind if he were to get through this. He was not alone. He had his sweet Maria and his friends, he still had people who cared about him and would grieve him if he were to give in to the yawning despair that wanted to consume him. Rosyth had been right; this Daniel was a survivor. Whatever came, he would live through it. For those who loved him. For the memory of his Rosyth.
Maria came for the tray. Daniel noted her change of wardrobe. No longer the thick robes that hid her form, but a pair of breeches and a tunic fastened tightly around her slender frame with a complicated belt. With a start Daniel realized that she was wearing his clothes. No, he had been wearing hers. Hy'vel had been right. "Are we to leave today then?" Daniel asked.
She tilted her head to the side.
"I see." His hand trembled as he set down his cup. He clasped it tightly between his knees. "Afternoon when the sun lowers and the temperature is cooler?"
Again she tilted her head.
"Maria…Am I doing the right thing? Penelope waited ten years for her Odysseus."
She nodded and then made a slicing motion across her neck. If he stayed here there would be nothing but death. In his bones he knew that she was right.
"I will go with you. But please, give me a moment to myself. I need to say goodbye."
She left him. Daniel walked to the balcony and leaned over the railing. So easy to just tumble over it, to end this constant struggle called life. It had given him such joy and then had taken it away so ruthlessly. Perhaps the old Daniel had been right to… He grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled. It had been the coward's way out. And he was anything but a coward.
The door behind him opened and softly closed. His time was up. "If I love again, it will never be as I loved you," he vowed. With one last look from the high perch of his home, he turned to face Maria. And halted.
It was not Maria. He cringed against the railing, thinking the emperor had grown impatient and sent someone to collect him. Then the question arose why a servant of the emperor would be so unkempt and how in hell that person could have breached the security by himself. Only he and Rosyth had the key to…He and Rosyth…
"You cut your hair," was the first thing that came to his mind. His voice sounded strange to him, as if a stranger spoke.
The man in front of him did not reply, though he did rake his fingers through the snarled mess, dragging the locks out of his face. Those sharp cheekbones one could almost cut a finger on, that beautiful chiseled face; it was gaunt with fatigue and hardship, but still as lovely as Daniel remembered. He took a step forward and the man took a step back. His eyes were searching Daniel's face ceaselessly, a frown between his brows.
"Rosyth?" He flinched at the words as if Daniel had struck him. Oh god, Daniel thought in horror. Could he have amnesia? That would be a cruel trick just like Rosyth's gods. "Rosyth it is me!" He took another step nearer and spread his arms. "It is your lover, your Dan-"
"Am I really…home?" He looked around himself as if afraid his surroundings would burst like a soap bubble.
Daniel's vision grew blurry, but he was smiling so hard his face hurt. "Yes, my love. You are finally home!"
Rosyth moved towards him cautiously, looking like he feared a trap. "And you…" His voice choked on whatever the word was going to be. "You waited for me." A laugh escaped him. It sounded half mad and the only way he could stop it was by biting his hand.
"I did wait for you. Are you…disappointed?"
"No. No, I am just…" His eyes slowly went over Daniel's figure, taking in every detail. "Are you really you? Is this not a dream?"
"It is no dream! Here, touch me." Rosyth drew back, but Daniel caught one of his hands and brought it up to his cheek. He nuzzled into the warmth of it, kissed the base of his thumb. "Am I not flesh and blood?"
"Yes. Gods yes." His hand was shaking against Daniel's cheek and his knees gave out beneath him. Daniel caught him and they hit the stones together. Rosyth caught his face and held it firm as he kissed every inch of it, muttering thanks with every brush of his lips. Daniel could do no more than clutch at his shirt, holding him as close as he could without crawling into the other man's skin. "You love me? Say you do. Tell me!" Daniel's heart almost broke at the pleading in Rosyth's voice.
"I do. God help me, I love you so much and it only grew with each day of your absence." Rosyth took his mouth almost brutally and Daniel let him, leaned his head back and offered his throat up to Rosyth's lips and teeth. "I missed you so much. I felt as if I died."
A watery laugh escaped Rosyth and he buried his face in Daniel's shoulder to stop the fit of nerves. The giggles turned to sobs and Daniel rocked him, brushing Rosyth's hair and murmuring sweet endearments all the while.
He did not think it strange that Maria never came to collect him. His heart was too full of Rosyth and his return. Too exhausted to talk further, Rosyth let Daniel help him to his feet and lead him to the bedchamber. He was sprawled across it in an instant, Daniel's head fitting into the curve of his neck. "You will not leave me? You will stay until I awake?" he asked, his voice hoarse.
"The first thing you will see when you open your eyes will be me," Daniel promised. Apparently satisfied, Rosyth closed his eyes and turned his head against Daniel's hair.
Daniel could not sleep, too overcome with excitement, with joy. He contented himself by running his hands over Rosyth, getting reacquainted with the lean muscle and the angles and planes he still knew so well. His hand stilled upon Rosyth's back as he realized that there had been no blurring with the words Rosyth had spoken, no buzzing in his mind as the translation magic worked. Did that mean Rosyth had been speaking… He shook the thought away. It did not matter. Nothing mattered save his lover had returned and was once more in his arms.
X
I may or may not have teared up when writing a part of this... I hope you all liked this chapter! Let me know what you thought of it. And thank you, as always, for the comments and support!
