Thanks a lot to my beta-reader, Orodruin , for correcting my mistakes.

I also want to thank my brainstorming beta, visitkarte, for her help.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

I'm not a native speaker of English!

Dear readers,

my working shedule is horrible full lately and my health isn't as good as I wish. Therefore I won't be able to submit something new very often for the next month. I still try to upload at least once a week and if I'm and my beta are able twice, but please don't be too disappointed if I can't. This story will not be abandoned. This stressful time will hopefully be over in one month. I asked my boss to lower my working hours. That means less money for me, but more time for things like writing fanfiction. :)

There is a new poll up. If you want you can vote!

This chapter is one of my longer ones and I hope it was worth waiting for.

Sunny


Chapter 29 – Talk about Punishment

"Harry, please look at me," Severus instructed Harry calmly.

Harry just shook his head. He was too scared to look up. He couldn't bear looking into Severus' disappointed or angry face. Severus' voice didn't sound as if he was angry, and so it had to be disappointment Harry would have to face. Severus was disappointed about Harry losing control over himself and hitting Draco. Now they would throw him out.

They probably think I could hurt the twins, even though I never would do anything harmful to them. Harry was desperate and couldn't stop himself from being scared of being left alone again. Maybe they'll send me to an orphanage, and I won't be able to go to Hogwarts any longer. All these thoughts and the overwhelming feelings were too much for Harry. He rested his elbows on his legs and hid his face in his hands while he started to sob.

"Harry, please stop crying and tell me what happened," Severus' voice was calm but stern.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Harry felt his hands becoming wet from his tears, and his nose was running. He hated to be so weak. Draco was right, I'm just a weak freak; a sniffing baby.

"I already heard Draco's version, Harry, but I would like to hear yours as well."

When Harry felt Severus' hand on his shoulder he carefully looked up. A handkerchief was pushed into his hand. "I..." Harry had to swallow to get rid of the lump in his throat. He blew his nose and then stuffed the handkerchief into his pocket. Surely Severus didn't want it back like that. "I'm sorry." Harry lowered his head again, but before he could hide in his hands, Severus grabbed his chin and gently lifted Harry's head again.

"You already said that, but I would like to know what you are sorry for and what exactly happened."

Harry sighed. "Draco came... and he said bad things... and then... and then I hit him." Harry jerked his head away from Severus' hand. He couldn't bear to look into Severus' face; instead he stared at one of the side walls.

Severus leaned back in his chair. "I would like to hear everything, from the beginning to the end when you landed here. I also want to hear what Draco said to you and why I found this on the floor." Severus held up the applicator.

Harry forced himself to look at Severus to know what he was speaking about. "I used it, and then he knocked it out of my hand."

"He did what?" Anger was flaring from Severus, and Harry got even more scared. Seeing Harry's reaction Severus tried to control himself and stay calm. "Did you manage to use it completely before he knocked it out of your hand or shall I call James to check on you before we go on speaking?"

"I already used it." Harry was glad that the anger wasn't directed at him.

"Good. Now tell me what happened." Severus looked sternly at Harry and made him squirm on his seat.

Harry told Severus everything. He tried to leave out some of the thing Draco said to him, especially those he was very embarrassed about, like the shopping accident, but Severus watched him closely and didn't stop asking until Harry told him absolutely everything. "I don't know why but all I could think about was running away. I knew you would be very angry."

"And what did you think I would do?"

"Throw me out," Harry whispered.

"You were scared I would throw you out, and so you left on your own to spare me the trouble?"

Hearing Severus put it like that made Harry's decision seem very stupid now. Harry couldn't say anything; he was just too scared of what would follow now.

Severus sighed. "How often do I have to tell you that we won't throw you out no matter what happens, Harry? When will that get through that thick head of yours?" Severus asked while patting Harry on the head.

Harry looked up with tearful eyes. "So I can stay?"

"Of course." Severus leaned back in his chair again. "But what you did was wrong, Harry. Draco's words were very hurtful, and he will get punished for it, but that didn't give you the right to hit him."

"I'm sorry."

"I know, but you have to learn from this Harry, and you will not get out of it unpunished."

Harry was scared. He would take anything that Severus would do to him to just stay in the family, but that didn't made him less scared. Oh, please, don't let him use the belt, Harry thought desperately.

Seeing Harry screwing up his face, Severus said, "Tell me what is going on in your head, Harry. What do you think I will do now?"

Another thought came into Harry's mind, and he blurted the question out before thinking about it. "You will not let Draco hit me back, will you?"

"Pardon?" Severus was shocked by this question.

"Uncle Vernon often let Dudley beat me. Dudley often told them that I hit him just to get the opportunity to beat me in front of my aunt and uncle. Please, don't let Draco hit me. He would gloat abut it in front of the whole school!" Harry looked pleadingly at Severus.

"I dislike violence, Harry. And I definitely would never let anyone hurt my children."

Harry jumped up. "No, I would never. I swear I would never hurt the twins. Really, Severus, I swear."

Before Severus could stand up, Harry fell on his knees in front of Severus, muttering, "I swear," the entire time.

Severus grabbed Harry under his armpits and lifted him up on the chair again. He scooted his own chair closer to Harry's so that Harry's knees were between his. Gently he lifted Harry's chin again. "Harry, I never assumed that you would hurt the twins. I know that you hit Draco because of great stress and because you were very hurt and even scared by his words. You are a good brother to the twins, and you would protect them rather than hurt them."

Harry looked at Severus, stunned. "But you said—"

"I said I would never give permission to somebody to hurt one of my children, Harry. And you are one of my children now, aren't you?"

If Severus wasn't still holding Harry's chin, his jaw would have dropped open. "Oh." After a short pause, Harry asked, "Will you use a belt?"

"I'm not going to beat you, Harry. You did something wrong, and you have to understand that. What would a beating help? Nothing."

"But the family rules… One was not to hurt someone else."

"If you go and hit Draco just because you don't like him or if you team up on anyone just because you want to bully him, then, yes, it would be likely that you would be over my lap to get some sense into you. Hitting someone out of hurt and angst is another thing, Harry. It's not right, but also nothing you need to get a spanking about. You are smart, Harry. You could have handled it in another way. I hope you will learn so that next time you will react differently."

"But what should I have done?" Harry had no idea.

"For example you could have got me or you could have called for the twins, who still were in your room. And never again, Harry, leave the quarters without this." Again Severus held up the applicator and then thrust it in Harry's hand.

Harry blushed slightly. "Thank you." He pocketed the applicator and looked up into Severus' face again. "So if you won't beat me, what now?"

"First we will speak together with Draco, and then we will find a punishment for both of you."

This time there wasn't a hand on Harry's chin to prevent it from dropping open. Dumbfounded Harry stared at Severus. "But he hates me. Please don't punish me in front of him."

"You both did something wrong, and I want both of you to understand your mistakes and maybe even the reasons for your wrong doing. Draco is my godson, Harry, and you have to get along with him. He has lost his father, Harry, and I'm the only father figure he has at the moment. He is scared and hurt that he has to share me with you. That doesn't excuse his behavior against you, but maybe it makes you understand him a little."

Harry lowered his head. "He is very mean, Severus."

"I know and therefore he will be punished. He is hurt and confused, Harry. Something you understand better than anyone else here. His father was a spy, and all they ever wished for was this war to end so that they could live a normal life. And then it all took a different direction. Now he is alone with his mother and doesn't even know how to cope with this loss. He tries to hide behind hurtful and cold comments, but inside he is hurt and scared. What he said to you is inexcusable. He tried to hurt you as much as he was hurt, and he had no right to do this. It was cruel, and I will speak about this with him before we meet to speak all together about what happened. I have to be there for him as well. I won't neglect my duties as his godfather during these hard times for him, but I will make sure that he understands that he isn't allowed hurt you mentally or physically. And you have to learn that violence isn't a solution. Is that clear?"

"Yes." Harry looked shyly up to Severus. "Do we really have to speak all together? You can give me more punishment."

"Yes, we have to speak all together. Draco is part of our family, and you two have to learn to cope with one another."

Harry sighed. He believed that the hell would freeze over before he and Draco would learn to get along with each other. Now that he knew about Draco's problems he felt sorry for him, but the things he said to him were way too hurtful to forgive him.

"Harry?" Severus waited until he had Harry's full attention. "You didn't believe any of what Draco said, did you?" Severus closely observed Harry's reaction to his question.

Harry blushed and bit his bottom lip.

"I will show you the newspapers, Harry. Draco was blowing it out of all proportions. There was, of course, no mention of the incident in the shop in the newspapers. He must have overheard a conversation between Ivy and his mother. They are both close friends. I'm sorry that he mocked you about it, and I will make sure that he won't spread it through the school, even though there is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I freaked out about boxer shorts," Harry said, angry at himself.

"No, you didn't. You were overwhelmed and stressed by the trip. We already spoke about it, Harry. And Draco doesn't know that the last straw was the boxer short. Ivy just spoke with Narcissa about your panic attack in general. She wouldn't spread intimate details," Severus assured Harry.

Harry was relived. He didn't care if Draco already told the other students. They would learn about his attacks either way. It didn't seem that they will stop soon. "Will you tell Ivy?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Of course, Harry. We don't keep secrets from our family."

Harry sighed again. "Okay."

"So, can we go back home now?" Severus asked as he stood up.

"Yes," Harry said, and followed Severus slowly. He was relived that they would keep him and that he wouldn't get a beating, but he was scared to see Draco again and have to speak with him.

When they entered the quarters, Harry saw Ivy sitting on the couch beside Draco, who was being nursed by Poppy. Alastor sat on the opposite couch and watched them. The moment Ivy looked up and met Harry's eyes, he lowered his head. Severus had to gently guide Harry over to them.

"If you are finished Poppy, I would like to speak with Draco in private."

Harry didn't look up, and so he couldn't see that Draco's eyes also were locked on the floor and that his face was full of tears. Harry flinched when someone put an arm around his shoulders.

"I was scared, Harry. Please never make me worry about you like this again." It was Ivy, who now was gently stroking his hair.

"I'm sorry." His voice broke and new tears were running over his cheeks.

"Bring him over here, Ivy, so that I can check him through," Poppy ordered sternly.

While Ivy led Harry to the couch, Alastor stood up. "I will fetch the twins from daycare and distract them for a while."

"Thank you, Alastor. I'm sure they will be happy to see their godfather coming to get them," Ivy said as she gentle pushed Harry onto the couch.

Alastor left the room through the fireplace.

The moment Harry sat down, Poppy started to wave her wand over him. "Show me your hand," she ordered after finishing her diagnostic spells.

Harry looked up at her, confused.

"Your hand is hurt, Harry. Please show it to me," Poppy said a little gentler.

Harry looked down on his hands and noticed that his right hand was bigger than the left one. It was hard for him to think at the moment. It was all so confusing.

When Harry didn't react, Ivy carefully took his hand and lifted it in Poppy's direction.

Gently, Poppy applied a healing cream on the swollen hand. "It will need a day to heal, but nothing is broken."

"How is Draco?" Harry asked shyly.

"Maybe you should ask him yourself, young man," Poppy said.

"I'm sorry," Harry said to make clear to the women that he regretted what he had done.

"I hope so," Poppy said still looking stern. "Ready to tell us your version?"

Harry sighed. He had wished he wouldn't have to tell all this again, but maybe telling them would make them understand it a little and then Madam Pomfrey wouldn't look so sternly at him. Before he could start, the portrait that leads to Albus' office swung sideways, and Minerva and Albus stepped through. Harry immediately lowered his head and sunk deeper in the couch.

Minerva sat down on the couch without a word. Albus remained behind the couch and asked, "Where is, Severus?"

"Dealing with Draco in the library, Dad. Why don't you sit down? Harry just wanted to start telling us his version," Ivy said.

Albus shortly considered what to do and then sat down. It was Severus' part to deal with his godson.

Harry brushed his shoes off and drew his legs to his body. Telling the two women was one thing but telling the whole family was another. He felt watched and very uneasy about it. "I... I..." he started to stutter.

"Just breathe deeply, Harry, and then tell us what happened. We only heard that you and Draco were fighting and that you left the quarters without your applicator. We were sick with worry," Minerva said, but with the usual strictness in her voice.

And so Harry told what had happened again.


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