That night I made plans, and executed them to perfection, catching him when he was alone. I told him who I was, and why I was there." Eboshi closed her eyes, and a grim chuckle escaped. "He was… understandably shocked. The beautiful performer accompanying him was his very own daughter? But he was not only shocked, he seemed… stricken, as if a mortal terror had fallen over him. The great Shogun Nokurashi, brought to fear by a young girl? It greatly confused me. But my confusions were just the beginning. He denied my claim as his daughter, as I thought he might, and demanded that I leave. But I insisted, citing my mother's name, and he almost recoiled from the sound of it. He became angry and physically removed me from his presence."
Eboshi opened her eyes. Chen had leaned forward, his hand bracing on the edge of the lip of rock. His gaze, fervent and attentive, was beginning to be lit by the red glow of the rising sun. Her heart, twisting within her, was… loosened. At least a little.
"I left. I was… not in my right mind afterwards, and made my way past the guards without notice. I walked until I came to the town that we had arrived in earlier that day. The houses were empty where they were not burned, the entire scene covered in overbearing silence. My thoughts ran wild, and I considered my choice. He had… rejected me. Not my identity, not my claim, but rejected the very idea of me. In my state, I couldn't consider reason or logic, my mind just circled around one question; why?" Her hand clenched on the carving in her hand until her knuckles were white.
"And then I found myself in the central square that I had seen from afar. There were areas where the ground could not be seen for the blood and bodies covering it. He had killed them all."
There was no room for tears in her eyes. They were too hard.
"Everything I had ever dreamed, ever hoped about the man that was my father, was lying on the ground in bloody ashes. And not just me…" Eboshi gulped back the knot in her throat angrily, forcing herself through it. "My dead mother's convictions, already shaken as they were, that he was still a good man… My promises to my brother that he would have a father… It was all gone." Eboshi's voice broke, and she had to find it again in the surging tides of devastating memories. She gripped Chen's totem with furious power.
"An anger overcame me. The coward had left my mother to raise me alone, ordered the murder of hundreds of people, and then pushed away my attempts to reach out to him. His life was stained with dishonor and cowardice, and I made a choice, then. If I could not change him, it was my duty to end him. His evil had run rampant long enough, and I was in a position to stop it. I did not pause to consider his motivations, believing myself to be justified. Even if I had, it would not have stopped me.
"So I returned. I used what skill I had in stealth and deception, and entered his bedchamber. I took his wakizashi in hand, and advanced. He was restless in his slumber, wracked with nightmares. Then he—then he..." Eboshi's voice cracked, and she wrenched her eyes closed as the memories flooded her mind. Her fingernails dug into the wood of Chen's carving.
"Saryu."
His voice came, reassuring and calm, and the sound of her name cracked her composure beyond repair. An involuntary gasp burst from her as her heart took up residence in her throat.
"Look at me," he said, and against everything Eboshi had taught herself, she looked to him, showing him her weakness.
Chen's mouth was set in a firm line, his golden hair tinged red. He held out a hand to her, and she looked down at it in surprise. She hesitantly released her vise-grip on the carving and handed it to him. He took it and set it down in front of them, on the edge of the shelf. Then, he held out his hand again.
She drew a deep breath, as his eyes returned to hers, shining in the light of the rising dawn. His gaze was firm, ready to give any support he could, and she knew in that moment why she trusted him.
Eboshi took his hand, his grip solid and steady in her tight hold, and she continued.
"He was saying the name of my mother. He was crying out for her, to help him, to save him from his nightmares. I moved closer, my resolve... fragile. And then he said—" Eboshi swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, voice uncertain now. Chen squeezed her hand. "He said my name. When I had confronted him, he had refused me so quickly I hadn't even been able to tell him my name. But he had already known it, and my existence –the reminder of his failure as a husband and father—had haunted him for over eighteen years.
"And I... hesitated. I did not strike, paralyzed by his words. And then his guards chose that moment to discover my intrusion. They correctly identified me as an assassin, and I did not resist them. They were enraged that I had penetrated their defense, and in order to restore their honor they began to beat me mercilessly instead of killing me outright. Here." Eboshi let go of Chen's hand, and began to untie the neck of her garment. His eyes widened, unsure of what she was doing.
She let her outer layer fall, revealing her arm and the greater part of her back.
Revealing her scars.
Eboshi looked over her shoulder to Chen, her silent gaze inviting him to look upon her. Chen's eyes narrowed as he saw the great crosses of white stretching across her shoulders. "They were… quite enthusiastic in their treatment," she said, voice rough. He silently reached out and his fingers brushed over the knotted trails of old wounds, sending shivers down her spine, but Eboshi did not pull away. There was no desire, no intentions of force or harm in the touch, just a silent horror that quickly became sympathetic anger.
"How did you survive?" His voice was soft but carried the now-familiar hardness.
"In time, Chen." He let his hand return to his side, and she let her garment fall around her waist, leaving her in the black undergarment. If her lessened modesty perturbed him, he did not show it. "My father had woken by this point and arrived to see what chaos had transpired outside his tent. Nokurashi saw his guards, and then the object of their attention." Her hand tightened in his. "I called out to him, but he did nothing to stop them. At that point, I only took comfort in that the haunted look remained in his visage, that he had not been delivered from his nightmare. I blacked out soon after." There was silence between them, and Eboshi looked over at the Capitol in the distance, illuminated by both the morning sun and by the light reflecting off Waito lake. He would be there.
Chen looked down at her fallen garment, then back up at her face. His gaze held a question, and she nodded, acknowledging it, curious. Chen let go of her hand and reached down, his arms almost around her, carefully lifting her wrapped robe back on her shoulders, retying the knot that always gave her so much difficulty.
She twisted slightly to face him better and smiled softly, her eyebrow twitching up. He returned the smile with a hesitant grin, shrugging. Eboshi decided to surprise him again by taking his hand. She continued.
"I woke up to find myself under guard by a gruff samurai and his band of unpleasant men. I was a captive of the Shogun. I would be taken to the Capitol for a public execution, and my wounds had been treated just enough that I wouldn't die before the appointed time. I traveled with them for several weeks as the campaign progressed, my strength building as much as it could in my weakened state. My father did not visit me." She paused, considering. "I guess this is where I relate to Ashitaka's princess. I do truly want to help him retrieve her, you know."
Chen nodded, but his posture was of rapt attention, not to be distracted.
"I was debilitated, physically and mentally, but they did not abuse me further. I made a plan, the only thing I really could do. And then, one night, the jailer made a mistake." A grim smile stretched her cheeks. "A perfect mistake, and I rapidly took advantage of it. But soon enough, I was caught once again, this time by the guards that had been assigned to my cage. I had no strength to contend or even truly speak to them, but instead of making a fuss and taking me back, the lead samurai convinced his men to let me go.
"His name was Ganzo Oruyama. He was ashamed of his actions." Chen nodded, eyes brightening with comprehension, and a grin tugged at Eboshi's face. "Yes, that's where he comes in. They helped me escape, and covered our tracks by burning a portion of the supply train." Her gaze lowered, and her smile became fond. "I will… always be grateful to him. They protected me while I recovered, just a desperate group of deserters with a shattered girl. When I had recovered my wits and voice, I began advising them in matters of strategy, and saved their lives from a deadly Imperial trap. Grateful to me and recognizing my skill in leadership and their need for direction, they pledged their lives and honor to me. So, I gave myself a new name and began to lead them. That path eventually led me west, to Irontown."
"To San and Ashitaka," Chen concluded, and Eboshi nodded. Chen leaned forward, looking over the pass below them thoughtfully. "Is it… Saryu, do you think it is possible that your father may have let you live? It seems as though he did not let you die."
"I have considered that possibility, though I doubt it," she stated shortly.
Chen met her eyes fervently. "What else could it have been? What if his shame had somehow driven him to not destroy the last remainder of what he had once had? I do know that Imperial Elite guardsmen do not shirk their duty when it comes to killing enemies of the Empire."
Eboshi shrugged. "Again, it is possible. He may have been so great a coward as to not finish the evil acts he had begun." She held up a finger against Chen's further comments, though forcing herself to see it from Chen's point of view. "But then again, after that event, I did not find myself with child, so he may have spared me from other abuses. It does not matter, however. I hate him, yes, but I will not risk confronting him again, which is why I refused to join in the assault to free Kaya from Nokurashi's captivity. He believes that Saryu is dead, and does not know the identity of Lady Eboshi. He is a part of that past, that I had left behind. Though it seems I have been forced to face it again."
Chen nodded, accepting that answer, but still looked thoughtfully down at the river below them. He began again, hesitant. "And… what of Saryu? You are her, but she represents that past. What… how…" He struggled with his words for several seconds, not something that Eboshi had yet seen from Chen. "What do you want me to call you? Your father, whom you hate, gave you your name –which is a fine one—but I understand completely why—"
"Chen." Her single word stopped him in his tracks, and he looked up at her in surprise. She smiled at him. "When you say it, I feel like a young girl again. The one that was full of goodness and idealism. Sometimes, I find myself missing that girl." He blinked once, and she leaned closer, her height almost bringing her to eye level with him. "When we are alone, I am Saryu. You understand?"
He nodded slowly, a hesitant grin spreading. "Yes, my—" She fixed him with a glare, and he smiled, eyes looking down abashedly before meeting hers again. They were full of joy. "Yes. Saryu." The name graced his tongue, as if he had grown up saying it, and again a pleasant shiver ran through her.
"Good man." She leaned closer and let her lips touch his cheek before resting her head on his wide shoulders. He tensed for a bare second, before relaxing once again. His arm reached over her empty shoulder and settled around her waist, his touch gentle.
Eboshi relaxed as the pattern of their breathing began to match the other's, and she felt the mental exhaustion catching up to her. But there was now a… lightness. The weight of years and scars on Eboshi's heart was being lifted, as if the rising sun itself were carrying her skyward. They sat together, water behind them and rock beneath them, and watched the light diffuse through the morning, driving back the last shadows of the night.
But then Eboshi realized that the light of the dawn was red. Any fisherman's son could tell you that meant a storm was coming. Night was dark, bleak, and despairing, hiding many dangers. But a storm… those could break empires. She smiled to herself.
"Chen, do you know how to work a woman's hair? I'm afraid that Ituse isn't around to assist me."
"Do I? Saryu, I am brother to three sisters. My mother deemed it a requirement."
"One day I shall have to meet this woman."
"I… I hope you do as well."
…
End of Part One
…
thank you all for your support, and also for sticking around this long, i will be busy finding and maintaining job for the next couple weeks, and may be unable to continue updating, but fear not! i simply love this story (i'm grateful i'm not the only one) and once summer rolls around i will resume my expansion of this wonderful world given all of us by Master Miyazaki. i only hope i am up to the task. More thank-yous to echobodhi, who assisted me in this last chapter, and for her continued work as an Alpha reader.
Again, much thanks, and happy reading!
-pakari-
follow the story in Part Two- Queen Mononoke; The Reign of Cage and Stone.
