"I want you to take me to London." Sarah said as they landed in their royal bedchamber. "I can't be near you right now."
"Sarah, I'm not letting you run away. We need to talk about this." Jareth implored her, and she shook her head angrily.
"What is there to talk about? How you belittled me? How you undermined my position as your betrothed? How can I be Queen when you allow people to laugh at me, to leer at my body?!" She demanded, and Jareth rolled his eyes.
"Nobody was leering at your body." Jareth sighed, and Sarah looked furious.
"I heard those two you were talking to say that they wanted to fuck me." She spat at him. "How do you think that makes me feel? Like I'm not vulnerable enough, being pregnant and a changeling, let's add sexual harassment! And then, I see you talking to them, and thanks to that group's magic mirror, I can hear you joining in! Who knows what you said before I started watching?"
"When did you start watching?" Jareth asked, wondering if she'd seen the lewd comments the two Fae had made about her and how he had firmly stated she was off limits.
"If you have to ask, then I assume that means you were saying something else you didn't wan me to hear."
"No! I just need to know when you started watching, how much you think you know."
"Hmm, let's so if I can remember. I think it went something like 'She is mine, quite dedicated to me. She is my plaything, she will do whatever I ask. I plan to have many heirs, making the most of her humanity. It is why I chose her, of course. And I made sure she was fertile before we married, clearly. She believes it is love, as humans always do.' Does that sound about right?" Sarah parroted to him, remembering every hurtful word.
"Oh." Now he heard it back, it sounded absolutely dreadful.
"Yes, oh." She said crossing her arms. "Now, will you take me back to London?"
"Get out of that dress first, you'll never be able to undo it on your own." Jareth said; she looked uncomfortable enough without having to wear a restricting dress all night.
"I'm going to have to get used to doing things on my own." She said firmly, reaching round to undo the ribbons of her bodice. She hadn't perfected undressing using magic yet.
"Sarah, we're not getting a divorce. If one night is enough for you to fall out of love with me, then how much did you really love me in the first place?" He said viciously, and immediately clapped a hand over his mouth as though he could take the words back.
She froze, and Jareth knew he had gone too far. He braced himself, and she slapped him full in the face.
"How dare you question my love?!" She screamed at him. She was shaking with rage, and Jareth stepped away from her. As a changeling, she still hadn't adjusted to the sheer strength she now possessed and posed a quite real danger to him. "I've given up everything for you! I'm going to have to watch my family die, maybe even my children! I did it for you, and you stand there and accuse me of not loving you?!"
"Sarah I'm sorry-"
"No! I am utterly humiliated, Jareth. You mocked me in front of your father, in front of strangers who were undressing me with their eyes! You allowed me to be ridiculed by women who you have fucked and you made out like I was in the wrong."
"Please don't use such coarse language." He winced. "It is not ladylike."
"That's your only problem with what I just said? That I swore? What is the matter with you?! Are you such an emotional cripple that you can't see the problem with what you did?" She screamed in frustration as her fingers fumbled with the strings of her corset.
"Let me help you." He was by her side in an instant, and Sarah cried angry, bitter tears. "Please, darling."
"You can help me undo the dress, then you can take me to London." Sarah said, her voice flat. "Then you can come back here alone and I will think about the divorce."
"You're not going to London in this state." He told her firmly, and her mouth was set in a stubborn line. He hated arguing with her, he just wanted to pin her down and make her stay.
"If you don't take me, I'll take myself." She told him firmly, and he narrowed his eyes. Last time she did that, she ended up nearly killing herself by falling off their roof.
"Don't threaten me, Sarah."
"It's not a threat. Believe it or not Jareth, not everything I do is connected to you. I want to go to London because I need to sleep and I need to think. You have hurt me, you have betrayed me and you dare to imply that I am doing something wrong." Her chest ached from crying, her body exhausted.
"Just let me undress you. Then we can talk about what happens next." Jareth said gently, approaching her with care.
She ignored him, still fumbling with the laces on her own.
"Sarah." He said weakly. "Please let me help you. I'm sorry."
"Are you? I told you how anxious I was, even when we were there! You had every chance to stop, to think about what you were saying and how it would make me feel and you didn't. It's like you were trying to hurt me as much as you possibly could."
"That's not true! I would do anything for you." He shouted back, and she laughed in his face.
"Except protect me! I expected everyone in that room to be against me, but my own husband? Do you remember our vows?" She said, staring down at the ring he had given her. "You vowed always to support me." She wrenched the ring off her finger and threw it at him.
"Don't."
"It's worthless now." Sarah said. "The promises you made when you gave me that are worthless."
"They are not! I meant every single word of what I said that day. You're right, I let you down. I'm sorry. Something happens to me when I'm around other Fae, it's like an Alpha male instinct." He picked up the ring, and turned it over in his hand.
"Well, well done because you look quite the big man! Now unlace me so I can get out of here. When you've undone the strings, you can go over there and turn around. I don't want you to look at me."
"Why?" Jareth asked, confused. "I've seen you naked thousands of times. It's a little late for modesty, no?"
"Don't insult me Jareth. Are you implying I'm a whore?" She snapped at him, and he looked at her in disbelief.
"What? No! Sarah, you're hearing what you want to hear. Why can't I look at you?"
"Because I don't want you to." She said, her fingers still fumbling at the back of her dress. He walked over to her and moved her fingers away gently, kissing her ring finger. She pulled her hand away from him so sharply the stone on her engagement ring caught his mouth, and he winced. "I'm nothing compared to those women, and I don't want you to see me."
"Sarah, this is ridiculous." He sighed, and she turned to face him. Her face was blank, her eyes full of tears.
"Is it? Is it ridiculous that you disgust me so much I don't want you to look at me? Are you helping me or not?" She asked, her voice hard and measured as she tried to keep her emotion inside.
He couldn't say anything in response to that.
Jareth undid the ribbons slowly, his body pressed closer to hers than strictly needed. She made no comment on his speed, but when he tried to kiss her neck, she jerked her body away from him.
"Don't." She whispered, and he sagged against her in defeat.
"Please." He begged her; spurring his kisses, not even letting him touch her, hurt him more than he thought possible. She turned her head and glared at him furiously.
"You can't pretend everything's alright. I know that we need to talk, but I meant what I said. If that's how you really are, I don't want to be with you." Her eyes welled with fresh tears, the thought of spending thousands of years without him inconceivable, yet to her mind a very realistic possibility.
"You would throw everything away just because of one evening? Let our children grow up without a father?" He asked incredulously, and she looked at him pityingly.
"I'd rather they grew up without you than know the man you were tonight." Sarah told him sharply, and he felt regret clench his heart.
"Please, darling this isn't fair. I know I was a complete prick tonight but that isn't me. You know me, you know how much I love you." He tried grabbing at her hands again, and she let him hold them. He kissed each knuckle, and Sarah looked down at him. He was rather pitiful, begging for her mercy like this.
"I thought I did. Why did you have to say that I believed it was love, like it was all an act on your part? I get playing along, I expected a certain level of brusqueness towards me. But then what you said.." Sarah shut her eyes, his voice echoing in her mind "that was just unnecessary."
"I know." He admitted. She turned around again, her dress still on, and his fingers resumed untying the laces of her corset, his fingers brushing over her bare skin. She didn't move, but Jareth noticed she flinched a little. "I'm ashamed."
"You should be." When he had finished unlacing her, he moved away just as she had asked him to, and turned his back. Sarah took the huge dress off, throwing the piles of material onto a chair. She got a long nightgown out of the dresser and threw it over her head. She sat down at the vanity, and began removing her make up. "You can turn back now."
"I don't know what to say, I don't know how to fix this." Jareth admitted.
"I can't tell you how to fix it. I don't know if you can." Sarah said sadly, wiping cream from her face. "You've hurt me. I may be a walking bag of hormones right now, but your words would hurt anyone, pregnant or not."
"I know, precious."
"You denied our love." She said, putting the glass bottle down on the table with such force that it shattered. She couldn't control her strength when she was angry, and Jareth watched her warily.
"Yes." He admitted. "I did."
"You made our babies seem like part of a contract." Sarah said bitterly, cradling her belly with her spare hand as she waved away the mess. "They are so loved by me, so precious to me, to hear you talk about my pregnancy like that.." She inhaled to stop herself crying yet again. "I meant what I said. I'm seriously considering a divorce."
"No." Jareth said fiercely. "After all we've been through, you would just throw us away? Sarah, we are adults, we are married. I cocked up, but you can't just divorce me at the first sign of trouble! You are not your mother."
"Don't you dare compare me to her!" Sarah screamed, standing up suddenly. The chair crashed to the floor behind her, and one of the legs splintered. "I am nothing like her! She wanted her own life, without me. I want a better life for my children than one with people who know nothing but cruelty!"
"Sarah, please, I didn't mean that." He walked over to her and held her arms. She struggled against him at first, but calmed down. "Please, this isn't good for any of you to get so upset. I will fix this, I will spend my life making it up to you if I have to."
"How?" She asked suspiciously, as he knelt in front of her. It was a symbol of submission, she knew; he was King, and knelt for only his Father. Here he was on his knees in front of her. It was a big gesture for him, she knew, and she decided to give him a chance.
"How can I prove that I love you?" Jareth asked her desperately, and Sarah sighed. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple.
"You can care less about what people think. You can put me before your stupid image." She said tiredly. "I know that you're a King, but surely you're not that precariously perched on your throne that everyone has to think you have no feelings at all?"
"Sarah, I need to seem dominant or people will take advantage and try and displace me. Everything is very delicate at the moment; the Elves are threatening to revolt, and I have a list of cousins queuing up to replace me on my throne. Aside from what I said, which I apologize for, that is how I will have to behave when we are in public like that. I tried to warn you."
"Fine, I get that. But asserting your dominance over me by completely trashing everything I've spent the last year believing to be true is unfair. It really hurt." She said weakly, and she started to cry again. "I didn't think you were capable of hurting me so much."
"Neither did I." Jareth said in a small voice. "If any mortals had talked about you in such a manner I would have killed them. Yet I allowed myself to join in with their disgusting jokes."
"Those men that were talking about how they'd like to fuck me before you got there." Sarah spat out, the words disgusting on her tongue. Jareth visibly tensed up, his hands tight fists by his sides. "I need to trust that you would protect me from them, not pass me around like a newspaper."
"Did you not hear the whole conversation?" Jareth asked angrily. "They asked if I would share you."
"What did you say?" Sarah asked, both hands on her stomach. She felt threatened, and she wanted to run and hide. Jareth pulled her hands into his own, and held them tightly. He looked into her eyes, his expression dangerous.
"I said that I would never share you. That's why I was acting like that Sarah, if they thought I was weak they might try and steal you way. They are dark Fae, rapists and torturers. If I showed even a glimmer of weakness in front of them, I would be putting you in grave danger."
"Oh." Sarah said, understanding things a little better. The context helped lessen the sting of his words just a little, but she was still angry.
"Yes." Jareth shrugged. "That's why I was particularly assertive, as well as denying that I loved you. If they knew the ferocity of my feelings for you, they wouldn't hesitate to steal you. And the children."
"That doesn't change the fact that you were completely rude to me even when we were in private, and didn't defend me against anyone. Standing up for me doesn't even show that you love me, it just shows that you give enough of a damn about me not to let people trash me in front of you. If Fae see that you have no respect for me, how am I ever going to have any power as your Queen?"
"Alright." Jareth said, breathing out in relief. "I will never disrespect you like that again. It was wrong of me, I know. I knew at the time, I don't know why I said it."
"And you will never let your harem say terrible things about me." Sarah instructed him, and Jareth nodded quickly, eager to agree to any condition she set him if it meant she would forgive him.
"I will go back and tell them all right now if that's what you want."
"No, I don't want you to go near them. Just promise me that if something like that ever happens again, you will be on my side. I'm not marrying the man I saw tonight. I want to marry you. Sweet, funny, sarcastic, demanding you."
"You still want to marry me, sweetness?" He asked, pulling her towards him.
"Maybe." She said sullenly. She ran her fingers up his face, and his eyes shut, a small smile on his lips as he enjoyed her gentle touch. "This is what matters, Jareth." She told him, guiding his hand to her bump. "You, me and them. Everyone else isn't worth a damn."
"I know. I should have prepared you better. It was callous of me, and I'm sorry. I love you so very much, it's almost hard for me to understand. We're not meant to love. Maybe this is why." Jareth said. "I've never had a proper relationship before Sarah, not involving living together and all of that. I'm clearly terrible at it."
"Tonight, you are. Jareth, you know that you can be a little nicer to me. You're better than them. Your mother raised you well." Sarah said, thinking of how shocked Arethusa would be if she knew what her son had said. The Empath was different to other Fae, and Sarah knew she would never tolerate such behaviour from her son.
"What if our children do turn out like me?" Jareth asked in a small voice, and Sarah thought he looked like a lost little boy. "I don't enjoy being cruel to you, Sarah. But my instincts are overwhelming in situations like that."
"Our children will grow up surrounded with love, knowing that it doesn't make you weak to show it. You aren't weak, love." She said, going to sit on the bed. Her feet were swollen, and her head ached. "You're the strongest man I've ever known."
"Really?" Jareth asked, getting up from his knees and sitting beside her. He could see how exhausted she looked, and he lifted her from the edge of bed and placed her head on the pillows. She smiled at him; that was the Jareth she loved.
"Really. And I'm sorry for talking about divorce, but I do mean it. If I feel like you're being cruel for no reason, it will be over. I will not fear my husband. I walked away when I was fifteen, and I will walk away aged fifteen hundred if I feel like just a part of your game."
"I know. I almost lost you tonight, I know that. I told you I couldn't change, back on our very first date. I will try, I will really try."
"That's all I ask." Sarah said, and she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "And I need to hear you say it."
"Say what?" Jareth asked, trying to kiss her again. She shook her head; this wouldn't turn into sex, she still didn't want him to touch her, not yet.
"What I need to hear." She told him urgently, and his eyes met hers.
"I love you." He said tenderly, running a hand down her back.
"Again." She commanded him, burying her head in his shoulder.
"I love you, so very very much my precious girl. And I love our children. I will spend my life showing you how much I care for you. " He slipped her wedding ring back onto her finger. "Never take it off again, sweetness. I couldn't stand it."
"I can't forget what happened." She said, yawning as her eyes began to shut. "I'm not sure if I forgive you yet."
"That's alright, sweet thing. I wouldn't forgive me either."
A/N: Thank you all so much for the huge amount of feedback for the last chapter. I'm sorry I made a few of you cry! Things aren't peachy yet, but they're looking a bit better. Please review!
