Chapter 29 – Bleeding love

Chapter 29 – Bleeding love

When Meghan finally stopped running she stood by the River. A ship caught her eye and she couldn't remember how it came there or what it was doing there. Not much later she could hear Eragon's footsteps behind her, he had been running. She could also hear Saphira following him silently, probably worried about her Rider.

"Meghan what is it? Can I help?" he asked while his hand rested on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She looked back with a tear stained face.

"You can't help. Nothing can help." She sighed.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. She nodded. Saphira's head was in between Eragon and Meghan, she looked at Meghan with eyes that would say more than all the words in the world could ever do. Saphira knew. She could feel Meghan's problem. She could feel what drove her to such despair. Saphira knew it from the moment they had met. Not all of it, just enough to know the problem was there.

"I'm pregnant Eragon." She swallowed "It's your brother's child."

The day after the battle many wounded were recovering, the time to mourn had passed last night, it was time to start over. To rise above all of it. They had won this time and that was something to fight for. Meghan sat in front of her tent, staring at a tree nearby. She was thinking about the future, how it was going to be.
"Hey." She could hear Eragon's voice faintly in the distance, he spoke so softly it almost seemed as if he was in her head. She looked up and tried her very best to smile but failed.
"How are the two of you?" he asked, he couldn't help but grin. Meghan had to get used to the fact that she wasn't one person anymore, it felt strange and uncomfortable.
"Fine I guess. The healers took a look at us when Nasuada found out I fought with the rest of you after all."
"So…uncle huh?" he said after a short silence, he was looking straight ahead, his eyes bitter and his teeth clenched together.
"I still can't believe it was him." He said, his eyes weren't seeing the tents, they were looking back to what happened at the rock.
"I could've told him it would be like this. He denied it, but I knew he wasn't strong enough to resist Galbatorix, no one is." Meghan sighed. "What will I do with a child Eragon? I'm alone, I can't provide safety, I'm seventeen!" she shook her head "I forgot. Eighteen already. But I have nothing, nothing, to offer."
"You have love Meghan. You can give your child love, that's the only thing he or she wants." He was thinking about his mother, their mother.
"Strangely enough I feel less alone now." He went on "Ironically, I do have family." "Family isn't just about siblings or parents." Meghan finally said. "I'm family too, even if I wasn't married to.." she stopped talking.
"How long?" Eragon asked and nodded toward her belly.
"It's been three months since I've left the palace."
"Shouldn't you see it already? Didn't you notice?"
"I noticed that I wasn't feeling well, but I thought it was just the journey..and you're kind of starting to see it now." She sighed. "Maybe I should tell him. Their camp is still there, should I go and search for him?" she asked all of a sudden. Eragon looked at her, shocked by what she was thinking.
"I don't think so." He said severe. "Meghan you don't know what he would do to you! He almost killed you!"
"He can't kill me."
"I won't let you go." When he said that Meghan cursed and accused him of nothing in particular. She realized she wasn't mad at him, but at Murtagh and the feeling she wanted to see him more than anything.
"Meghan." Nasuada's voice sounded hard when she came walking their way. Her face looked tired but she seemed more powerful than ever.
"You will stay at King Orrin's court until you give birth, he will make sure the both of you are safe. He has enough room."
"I don't want to." Meghan said stubbornly.
"I didn't ask if you wanted to." Nasuada said.
"I want Murtagh to know." Meghan went on.
"Why would you want that Meghan?" Nasuada asked disbelieving.
"He's the father. I want to give him a chance to be a father."
"He won't choose you Meg." Eragon said compassionately, Meghan was irritated by the fact he called her Meg. She shook her head.
Both Eragon and Nasuada started to tell her how irrational it would be to tell Murtagh.
"Stop it!" Meghan yelled. "It's my child! Not yours." Eragon's mouth formed one single line and Nasuada's eyes seemed darker as before.
"I forbid you to leave camp Meghan." Nasuada said darkly, she turned around so swiftly her cloak was twirling around her legs.
"Don't!" Meghan said sharply when Eragon opened his mouth to speak.

That night Meghan sat on her bed, fully clothed. She was planning to go to the other camp to find Murtagh. The king would've probably ordered him to stay with his men until it was truly safe, he must have. She had to ask him why he was acting the way he was, she had to know if there was any hope left. Hope that there was still something left of the old Murtagh. She sneaked out of her tent, it was quiet outside. She saw Saphira's tale coming out of Eragon's tent, she tried to stay as far away from it as possible. It didn't take her long to reach the other camp. She was looking out for guards, but she wouldn't be noticed easily, small and skinny in the dark.
She however, could easily spot the guards with their lanterns which made them less alert of those who were covered in darkness. There was a weird smell in the hostile camp. A scent of old sweat and rotting. The sudden sound of someone opening a tent startled her, she fell in her attempt to hide. And there he was, without armor or wapens, the wind playing with his dark blouse, his footsteps heavy and loud. He ran a hand through his dark hair and Meghan realized how childishly in love she was with him, even now. She shook her head to wake her from the dream and felt anger inside of her. He killed Hrothgar, and not only that.How could he do this to her? Or even to the people who had supported him? She sneaked behind tents to follow him, the few steps in between them disappeared like he did when he walked into a tent, she stood beside it. The lights inside of the tent left silhouets on the dark fabric, his silhouette and..she was startled..Galbatorix? Here? Now?!
"I'm most grateful for your short visit your majesty." Murtagh's low warm voice sounded humble.
"I'm here to see how you're doing. I want you to come with me when I leave. The risk is too great and the men can easily deal with all this without your help." She could never forget how icecold and slow Galbatorix spoke.
"Your wish is my command." She saw Murtagh's silhouette bow and it made her sick, he spoke as if he didn't have any emotions or will of his own.
"I heard of the little incident between you and the Rider." Sounded the velvet voice of the king. When she didn't hear Murtagh respond she figured he just nodded his head.
"And that wasn't the only reunion." Galbatorix said, as if he expected Murtagh to tell him something.
"Majesty I.." he wanted to protest.
"Why is she still alive?" the king asked impatiently.
"I…it's…" Murtagh sounded nervous and this gave Meghan hope.
"Do you still care for her? Murtagh I thought we had discussed this more than once.." Galbatorix spoke like a father would to his son, too friendly and too understanding.
"She means nothing. Just a little flaw in your past that is best to be forgotten, erased. That was your task, only that way you could show me you are ready."
"Yes your highness." Murtagh's voice sounded serious.
"Does she mean anything to you?"
"Of course not. It was the Rider." Meghan's brows raised, why was he lying? And then the words that she meant nothing to him hit her hard.
"The Rider?"
"They both fled, I tried to follow them but..but I would've brought my own life in danger if I had followed them. I decided to let them believe they were safe.
"I want her dead." Galbatorix said with a tone as if he was a child who didn't get what he wanted, a cold and harsh child.
"Dead! Do you understand?"
"Of course your Majesty. She won't have a chance to get away next time, I will show no mercy."
Meghan's hand felt cold on her skin, the skin that covered the area of her heart. It was beating so fast she thought the entire world could hear it. Tears filled her eyes. She had been wrong, so wrong. Nasuada and Eragon were right. When she grasped for air she was startled by the sound she made.

"Wat was dat?" klonk er van binnen de tent. Ze zette het op het lopen en gaf er niets meer om als iemand haar zag. Haar kind was niet veilig als de vader wist dat het bestond, dat stond vast. Ze rende de duisternis in, terug naar de geborgenheid van de eenzaamheid. Terug naar de Varden, ze zou het kind alleen opvoeden. En ze zwoor die nacht dat Murtagh het nooit mocht weten.

"What was that?" it sounded from out of the tent. Meghan started to run and didn't care if anyone saw her. Her child wasn't safe if the father knew about it, that was all that mattered right now. She ran into the darkness, back to the company of loneliness. Back to the Varden, she would raise the child alone. And that night she swore that Murtagh would never know. Nobody would ever know who her child really was.