Chapter 29 – Bleeding love
When Meghan finally stopped running she stood by the River. A ship caught her eye and she couldn't remember how it came there or what it was doing there. Not much later she could hear Eragon's footsteps behind her, he had been running. She could also hear Saphira following him silently, probably worried about her Rider.
"Meghan what is it? Can I help?" he asked while his hand rested on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She looked back with a tear stained face.
"You can't help. Nothing can help." She sighed.
"Are you sure?" he whispered. She nodded. Saphira's head was in between Eragon and Meghan, she looked at Meghan with eyes that would say more than all the words in the world could ever do. Saphira knew. She could feel Meghan's problem. She could feel what drove her to such despair. Saphira knew it from the moment they had met. Not all of it, just enough to know the problem was there.
"I'm pregnant Eragon." She swallowed "It's your brother's child."
The
day after the battle many wounded were recovering, the time to mourn
had passed last night, it was time to start over. To
rise above all of it. They had won this time and that was something
to fight for. Meghan sat in front of her tent, staring at a tree
nearby. She was thinking about the future, how it was going to be.
"Hey." She could hear Eragon's voice faintly in the
distance, he spoke so softly it almost seemed as if he was in her
head. She looked up and tried her very best to smile but failed.
"How are the two of you?" he asked, he couldn't help but
grin. Meghan had to get used to the fact that she wasn't one person
anymore, it felt strange and uncomfortable.
"Fine I guess. The
healers took a look at us when Nasuada found out I fought with the
rest of you after all."
"So…uncle huh?" he said after a
short silence, he was looking straight ahead, his eyes bitter and his
teeth clenched together.
"I still can't believe it was him."
He said, his eyes weren't seeing the tents, they were looking back
to what happened at the rock.
"I could've told him it would
be like this. He denied it, but I knew he wasn't strong enough to
resist Galbatorix, no one is." Meghan
sighed. "What will I do with a child Eragon? I'm
alone, I can't provide safety, I'm seventeen!" she shook her
head "I forgot. Eighteen already. But I have nothing, nothing,
to
offer."
"You have love Meghan. You can give your child love,
that's the only thing he or she wants." He was thinking about his
mother, their mother.
"Strangely
enough I feel less alone now." He went on "Ironically, I do have
family." "Family isn't just about siblings or parents."
Meghan finally said. "I'm family too, even if I wasn't married
to.." she stopped talking.
"How
long?" Eragon asked and nodded toward her belly.
"It's
been three months since I've left the palace."
"Shouldn't
you see it already? Didn't you notice?"
"I noticed that I
wasn't feeling well, but I thought it was just the journey..and
you're kind of starting to see it now." She sighed. "Maybe I
should tell him. Their camp is still there, should I go and search
for him?" she asked all of a sudden. Eragon looked at her, shocked
by what she was thinking.
"I don't think so." He said
severe. "Meghan you don't know what he would do to you! He almost
killed you!"
"He can't kill me."
"I won't let you
go." When he said that Meghan cursed and accused him of nothing in
particular. She realized she wasn't mad at him, but at Murtagh and
the feeling she wanted to see him more than anything.
"Meghan."
Nasuada's voice sounded hard when she came walking their way. Her
face looked tired but she seemed more powerful than ever.
"You
will stay at King Orrin's court until you give birth, he will make
sure the both of you are safe. He has enough room."
"I don't
want to." Meghan said stubbornly.
"I didn't ask if you
wanted to." Nasuada said.
"I want Murtagh to know." Meghan
went on.
"Why would you want that Meghan?" Nasuada asked
disbelieving.
"He's the father. I want to give him a chance
to be a father."
"He won't choose you Meg." Eragon said
compassionately, Meghan was irritated by the fact he called her Meg.
She shook her head.
Both Eragon and Nasuada started to tell her
how irrational it would be to tell Murtagh.
"Stop it!" Meghan
yelled. "It's my child! Not yours." Eragon's mouth formed one
single line and Nasuada's eyes seemed darker as before.
"I
forbid you to leave camp Meghan." Nasuada said darkly, she turned
around so swiftly her cloak was twirling around her legs.
"Don't!"
Meghan said sharply when Eragon opened his mouth to speak.
That
night Meghan sat on her bed, fully clothed. She was planning to go to
the other camp to find Murtagh. The king would've probably ordered
him to stay with his men until it was truly safe, he must have. She
had to ask him why he was acting the way he was, she had to know if
there was any hope left. Hope that there was still something left of
the old Murtagh. She sneaked out of her tent, it was quiet outside.
She saw Saphira's tale coming out of Eragon's tent, she tried to
stay as far away from it as possible. It didn't take her long to
reach the other camp. She was looking out for guards, but she
wouldn't be noticed easily, small and skinny in the dark.
She
however, could easily spot the guards with their lanterns which made
them less alert of those who were covered in darkness. There was a
weird smell in the hostile camp. A scent of old sweat and rotting.
The sudden sound of someone opening a tent startled her, she fell in
her attempt to hide. And there he was, without armor or wapens, the
wind playing with his dark blouse, his footsteps heavy and loud. He
ran a hand through his dark hair and Meghan realized how childishly
in love she was with him, even now. She shook her head to wake her
from the dream and felt anger inside of her. He killed Hrothgar, and
not only that.How could he do this to her? Or even to the people who
had supported him? She sneaked behind tents to follow him, the few
steps in between them disappeared like he did when he walked into a
tent, she stood beside it. The lights inside of the tent left
silhouets on the dark fabric, his silhouette and..she was
startled..Galbatorix? Here? Now?!
"I'm most grateful for your
short visit your majesty." Murtagh's low warm voice sounded
humble.
"I'm here to see how you're doing. I want you to
come with me when I leave. The risk is too great and the men can
easily deal with all this without your help." She could never
forget how icecold and slow Galbatorix spoke.
"Your wish is my
command." She saw Murtagh's silhouette bow and it made her sick,
he spoke as if he didn't have any emotions or will of his own.
"I
heard of the little incident between you and the Rider." Sounded
the velvet voice of the king. When she didn't hear Murtagh respond
she figured he just nodded his head.
"And that wasn't the
only reunion." Galbatorix said, as if he expected Murtagh to tell
him something.
"Majesty I.." he wanted to protest.
"Why
is she still alive?" the king asked impatiently.
"I…it's…"
Murtagh sounded nervous and this gave Meghan hope.
"Do you still
care for her? Murtagh I thought we had discussed this more than
once.." Galbatorix spoke like a father would to his son, too
friendly and too understanding.
"She means nothing. Just a
little flaw in your past that is best to be forgotten, erased. That
was your task, only that way you could show me you are ready."
"Yes
your highness." Murtagh's voice sounded serious.
"Does she
mean anything to you?"
"Of course not. It was the Rider."
Meghan's brows raised, why was he lying? And then the words that
she meant nothing to him hit her hard.
"The Rider?"
"They both fled, I tried to follow them but..but I would've
brought my own life in danger if I had followed them. I decided to
let them believe they were safe.
"I want her dead." Galbatorix
said with a tone as if he was a child who didn't get what he
wanted, a cold and harsh child.
"Dead! Do you understand?"
"Of course your Majesty. She won't have a chance to get away
next time, I will show no mercy."
Meghan's hand felt cold on
her skin, the skin that covered the area of her heart. It was beating
so fast she thought the entire world could hear it. Tears filled her
eyes. She had been wrong, so wrong. Nasuada and Eragon were right.
When she grasped for air she was startled by the sound she made.
"Wat was dat?" klonk er van binnen de tent. Ze zette het op het lopen en gaf er niets meer om als iemand haar zag. Haar kind was niet veilig als de vader wist dat het bestond, dat stond vast. Ze rende de duisternis in, terug naar de geborgenheid van de eenzaamheid. Terug naar de Varden, ze zou het kind alleen opvoeden. En ze zwoor die nacht dat Murtagh het nooit mocht weten.
"What was that?" it sounded from out of the tent. Meghan started to run and didn't care if anyone saw her. Her child wasn't safe if the father knew about it, that was all that mattered right now. She ran into the darkness, back to the company of loneliness. Back to the Varden, she would raise the child alone. And that night she swore that Murtagh would never know. Nobody would ever know who her child really was.
