/AN/
I'm having incredible sads tonight
Just thought I'd let you know
Gale eventually finds me. He's pissed off, like I knew he would be, about me taking a night watch. Especially after finding me on the bottom floor, staring out the window at the moon. After a few minutes of quiet scolding, he dragged me upstairs and back into the tent. For the rest of the night, I'm in and out of more nightmares. No longer about Toby, but still frightening. My newest fear? Falling. I counted three times that I woke in a spasm, like I was actually falling from one of the buildings. More than anything, it annoyed me.
In the morning, I tell Toby about it. "I don't know, maybe I need to do more exercise so I'm too tired to dream..."
"Does that work?"
"I hope so. It's my only plan."
"My granny used to tell us stories about... premonitions. And dream visions. Maybe you're psychic?"
I sigh, leaning back against the blankets. I'm glad we're alone in here or the others would think I'm even crazier than they already assumed. "A bad omen?"
"Yeah. Like that. Or, you know, it could just be nightmares." His green eyes scan me from where he's sitting up just to my left, "You know, Meg-"
"Something is going to happen today, isn't it?"
"Hmm, probably. Something could happen right now, if you want." He winks and I smile before throwing a rolled up sleeping bag at him. "Ouch. Okay, got it. I won't be getting laid any time soon."
"Sad, isn't it?"
"Not as sad as you. Virgin."
"Hey, shut up!"
"We could both get what we want-"
"Shut. up."
He puts his palms up in defense, "I had to ask once. For your information, that was not me trying. Me trying would have you naked on top of me in 10 seconds."
"Then why didn't it work on Ann?"
He throws the sleeping bag away from himself and falls back against the blankets next to me. "If the gamemaker has a plan, it's probably the twin. He'll save Gregorio for something- maybe even someone else. I'm the one whose time has run out."
I watch him, fully aware of how serious he is. "You've... thought about this?"
"Yeah. Loads. I'm ready for her. If she's anything like her brother, it won't be easy."
"Why did you kill him first? There were others around you and-"
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to."
"I do that a lot."
"I've noticed." He takes a few shaky breaths then asks, "Meg, if that twin comes after me, and I'm not saying I'll need any help-"
"I'll be there. If I can be." A heart to heart with Toby, huh? Is this what I've become? The games change people, sure. But this is ridiculous. "Hey, what would you do if you won the games?"
"Find myself a pretty lady and settle down."
"Really?"
"Yeah. For the night." He chuckles.
"Perv."
"Virgin."
"What the hell?!" Gale shouts. I sit up immediately and realize what he just walked in on; me and Toby laying beside each other. Depending on how long he's been standing there; it could be even worse. If Henry has told him the story about Toby making a pass at Ann... Well, that would be a disaster.
"It's, umm-"
"Not what it looks like." Toby finishes for me.
Gale orders, "Toby. Fuck off."
"Will do."
I watch as Toby leaves, then as Gale stares at me, I shrug, "What?"
"You know what."
"You've gone from thinking Toby will kill me at any time to- to thinking I'm going to have an affair with him? What the fu-"
Gale holds up a hand to stop me. Then he just shakes his head and turns away. This is just for the cameras, isn't it? He can't really be mad at me, and he can't really think that I would be interested in Toby... Right? Ew.
I lay there for a while before I stand and exit the tent. What to do, though? Do I run after Gale and explain things to him? Is that what a girlfriend would do? Maybe- Maybe that's what this is about? Maybe it's a plan to make me go to him instead of him always finding me. Or maybe he's just pissed off. Impossible to tell with him.
I stretch quickly then run down the stairs, wondering how to go about it and hoping a faster heart rate will just make words come out. It sometimes works, right? Hitting the bottom floor, I look around for, well, anyone.
"Looking for Gale?" Henry asks me. I nod at him. "He followed Toby out. Should I be worried?"
"Yes. Gale thinks Toby was trying to seduce me. I think. I'm not sure. Gale isn't very predictable. I was just going to-"
"I'll go with you." He leans over and grabs his double ended spear, "You both might need me."
"I don't think so. I can handle them-"
"Can you? You didn't even grab your sword-"
"I don't need it to deal with them!" I shout. Before he can respond, or before I can apologise, I run for it. He scares me, but I'm also scared of how easy it was for him to suggest that I'll either need to defend myself or hurt one of them.
I hear shouting and run towards it. I round a corner and see Gale pressing Toby against one of the buildings. Toby sees me and tries to shove Gale away who just closes his fist around the blondes throat.
"Gale, what the hell are you doing?!" I yell at him as I approach them.
"He's nothing but trouble, Meg."
I stop, five feet away, "He saved my life. And lately he's been a lot easier to talk to than you."
"Because he's flirting with you?"
"Because he isn't. What you walked in on was just a stupid conversation- Gale, let him go! He can't breathe!" Toby hits the ground and coughs shake his frame. I stare at him. Then at Gale. "Why did you do that."
"He has to die anyway. If one of us is going to survive-"
"You are not a murderer, Gale!"
"I am! In these games; I am! And so are you! Everyone is! If I don't kill him now-"
"Get away from him." I say blandly, "You've done enough for today and I want you to go back to camp and cool down."
"No."
"Gale-" I stare past him. Rounding the corner, twenty feet away, is the twin. My eyes widen, "Gale!"
He turns and glares, "The fuck is she doing here?"
Toby, unsteadily, stands. "You two get out of here." He coughs and grabs the wire from his pocket, "I have to deal with this."
"Toby-"
"Just go, Megan! I can handle her!"
Gale turns to me and I shake my head at him. I'm not leaving. I step forwards and we watch Toby and the twin approach each other slowly. A lump forms in my throat and I just want to grab him and pull him back.
"Bout time you got here, Beth. I was wondering if you even really cared for your brother-"
"Shut the fuck up!" She's in worse shape than anyone I've seen. Bea has a sleeve ripped off, sure. Beth doesn't even have her long sleeve shirt; it's wrapped around a wound on her left leg, where she's also ripped fabric from to tie back her long ebony hair. She's starved, freezing, and covered in mud. "You murdered him!"
"That's what we do here. Isn't it?"
"I'll kill you!" Beth screams and lunges, bare hands clawing forwards.
Gale grabs my hand and squeezes tightly, telling me to stay put as Toby tries to get around to Beth's back. She goes for his face, while blocking with her elbows. When all else fails, Toby uncurls the wire from one hand and starts using it like a whip. He, like I know I did, misjudged her reflexes. She grabs it and pulls him down past her. Before he even hits the ground she pulls out a knife.
Without thinking, I move forwards. Gale shouts but I charge at her. She steadies the knife at me but I keep going. Luckily, just before I reach her, Toby kicks the back side of her knee and she buckles, falling forwards.
I jump over her and grab Toby's arm, "Come on!"
He stares away from me, his eyes wide. "Move!" He shouts, and pushes himself up and away from me.
I look where he's going and see Gale struggling with the twin. In a moment I have several horrible feelings hitting me. I abandoned him. I ran to Toby's aid but I thought Gale was the smart one! I thought he knew better than to charge a person with a knife aimed at him.
Toby wraps his arms around her from behind and tries to tear them apart. Only now do I realize his wire is at my feet. For a moment I consider picking it up then I hear Gale grunt and before my eyes even leave the ground I'm moving forwards again
But before I can do anything useful, Gale hits the ground. During the reaping, after my name was called, my vision narrowed. I only saw what was in front of me and even that was blurry. It's the same now as Gale, my best friend, pulls the knife from his chest.
I fall to my knees on his left, "Gale!"
"Meg?" His eyes are wide; he's shocked and confused. He's afraid and so am I. I know there's nothing I can do. He's bleeding and he's coughing- He's breathing harshly. I don't know what to do!
So I take his hand in my left, holding it over his mid. I can't look at the wound. I won't. Not any more than I have. I stare into his grey eyes as they water. He has a short coughing fit, his entire body shaking from it, and I notice blood in the corner of his mouth. Why? Why did it have to be Gale? Why couldn't that bitch have spared him?! It was Toby- and it was me who attacked her first!
His eyes both focus and unfocus on me and past me for a few moments. His hand squeezes mine softly and I'm so scared it's his strength leaving him already. "M-meg, do you remember? Our first kiss?"
"Yes," I don't know why I laugh, it's another one of those bubbles of emotion I don't know what to do with. "You were my first."
He laughs too. But it's more of a choking sound as more blood splutters from his mouth. I hold his hand tighter, willing my tears away. I can't let the last thing he sees be me crying. "I was so nervous. That was the whole reason I took you out that day." I didn't know that. "I-I just wanted to-"
Despite the coughing, I lean in closer. I can wash blood off later, the tears will help, but I need to hear his last words. Oh, fuck! Fuck! Gale, please, no! "G-go on, Gale."
He looks up at me so desperately and I sob. He cringes, "I'm sorry I- I didn't want you to see this-" More coughing, "Stay alive. Please."
"Gale, you were talking about our first kiss! Focus, okay?" I try to smile, putting my right hand lightly over his chest. "Tell me."
His eyes find my lips. "I thought, if I could- maybe I- we'd really be in love. We'd be- happy. It was funny, when we- realized that- we weren't in l-love at the time. I wanted so badly- I wanted to- Meg, I'm sorry!"
"Don't be. Don't be." I try to soothe him, but I'm far gone myself. It's like I'm both not here, numb, and also feeling so intensively in the moment that my body is too heavy. I could sink into the snow patched ground so easily right here. And I could sink with Gale. "I love you, Gale. You have made me happy."
"Have I?"
"Yes."
He smiles at me, just barely tugging the corners of his lips up, "I love you. And I'm so-" His eyes shut for a moment and I find myself shaking him. His eyes don't open but his soft voice registers as I lean in even closer to my best friend's paling face, "I'm sorry, Meg. Take care of yourse-"
And then there's nothing. It's silent. I can't hear him any more. I shake him again, afraid to lose him but even more afraid to cause any more damage to his body. I shake my head, "No, Gale. Don't go. Please."
