Disclaimer: I own nothing from Danny Phantom
Note: Sorry in advance that this one is so dialogue-heavy with quotes from previous chapters, but I'm trying to recap bits and pieces of the story so far as Danielle's memories slowly start trickling back to her. Especially the ones about Vlad since he's become such a big part of her life. Also on a side note to those who celebrate it, happy belated 4th of July!
Chapter 29: Stillness
(Chapter inspired by Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall)
Danielle's POV
Bolting upright, I cried out after seeing the horrifying image of a man with a strangely familiar bat-shaped scepter protruding from his chest where the only color I could see was red as the light vanished from the shattered orb at the top and his eyes as his blood began staining the ground crimson at his feet. It didn't last long, but seeing something like that was enough to leave me breathless, trembling, and covered in goosebumps. I must have instinctively transformed into my ghost form too when I felt this terrible hatred towards the person in front of me from a hostile presence in my dream...
It frightened me.
Once I calmed down a bit though I noticed that I felt lighter somehow, more aware of myself, which should have felt comforting since that oppressive red fog in my mind was gone now but it wasn't. I could still only remember bits and pieces of my life and that was enough to tell me this wasn't my room at least. As for the rest, it was all just vague impressions of who I was, blurred images of faces and places I couldn't recognize just yet, and the distant memories of a familiar scent, a touch, or an emotion.
I felt like things were slowly starting to come back to me, but when it started to happen too fast I retreated from the memory and blocked it out because it was too painful to remember. And the thing I remembered feeling the most, at least right now, was how alone I was. It felt like no one I knew really understood me. They cared about me, that's true, but no one really understood or knew the real me except for one person. For some reason, their face was the clearest to me and I could at least make out a head of long sterling silver hair and dark cobalt blue eyes. So I clung to that solitary memory like a lifeline because it was the only thing that didn't hurt as much to remember. In fact, the thought of him was very comforting and I had this indescribable yearning to see him, whoever he was, and not being able to only reminded me how alone I was.
It didn't help that I had no idea where I was or how I got there either since the room I was in now felt too big, too empty. The air here was so...lifeless and stale; like there was no indication that anyone actually lived here and it smelled too new and stuffy. It was sort of like being in a hotel room that had just been cleaned after erasing all traces of the other people who might have been there before you. I briefly considered opening the window to let in some fresh air but I didn't want to move, so I kept my head down and peered up at the door, expecting that ghost from before who saved me to come visit me again before too long...
I could remember that much at least, and almost like déjà vu, I had the distinct impression that this wasn't the first time I've been in a situation like this with him. That's when I flinched as blurred images of my past that were similar to old film reels appeared before my eyes and I saw myself being carried in his arms, my face covered in scratches and small scrapes and my hair disheveled. He smiled at me with this oddly ravenous look in his eyes which made a similar memory of that man I saw with the staff appear, only he was laughing after walking in on this ghost with a long red cape pulling on my hair as she dug her boot into my back trying to rip off this ornate tiara that had gotten stuck in it.
"Tsk tsk, Lydia, now that's not very nice! And you wonder why you don't have any friends. Sorry about her my pet, she gets terribly jealous these days and it makes her especially violent towards pretty little morsel's like you." Glaring at Lydia though he gestured at her with his staff and warned, "See that this doesn't happen again. I can't have you breaking this one too like the last one. Besides if anyone is going to punish my minions for disobedience it is me, not you. Don't forget, I'M the one in charge now and I was the one who decided to play dress-up with our newest doll. She wasn't exerting free will so relax. Maybe if you two can learn to play nice we'll do something 'fun' later..."
I shuttered at the implied meaning of those words and rubbed my arms, suddenly feeling too exposed now, vulnerable. And the fact that I was wearing a simple white nightgown that barely reached halfway down my thighs didn't help either as my skin crawled at the idea of that creep touching me. Floating out of bed, I let the blanket slide off of me and touched down in one of the far corners of the room, my back to the wall, and staring at my unfamiliar surroundings as I curled my knees close to my chest.
I don't know how long I sat like that, my glowing white hair casting shadows as it floated gently around my face, but I still felt more comfortable in this form at the moment because my natural ghostly glow made the darkness seem less menacing. For some reason, I felt much better knowing that I was the one chasing it away with my own light, my power, without having to rely on anyone else to comfort me. I used to be something more than this once, someone stronger than this, or at least I was more confident back then. But because of all this confusion, among other things I was having a hard time remembering, this situation I was currently in made me question if I was STILL worth a damn the way I was right now as an empty shell of the girl I used to be who even back then had her own share of problems...
"That's no excuse for her behavior, Vlad. If that really were the case then it sounds like more of a time management issue. I agree that she should make sure to get plenty of sleep, but if studying with her friends isn't helping or they're just goofing off otherwise then maybe Danielle should consider asking someone to be her tutor. Jason already offered to do that for her and she refused." I suddenly recalled hearing my mother, or who I could only assume was her, argue with someone.
Then I heard my own voice as I all but screamed at something my dad said in response, "I'm only human dad! I can't be expected to do everything around the house and study at the same time! Besides, when's the last time you guys made Jason do any chores huh? Oh, that's right, never! Because he's the prodigal son and needs all the free time to do whatever he wants like it's some given right for being smarter than me!"
Shortly after I saw myself being held in Vlad's arms as I muttered hopelessly with a dead-pan stare, "It doesn't matter anymore...I always come in second, it's been that way my whole life so what difference does it make now? My parents clearly don't care what I want. And even if you do its...it's all the same...I'm never going to be good enough."
Rocking me gently as I whimpered, Vlad argued mildly in a soft hushed tone, "Shh, don't say such things because you're wrong my dear, my feelings for you are stronger and more real than anything I felt for your mother. You are a very clever, benevolent, honorable, compelling, capable, and earnest young woman of unimaginable promise that has been taken for granted for too long. But I can help you tap into that potential and show you a world beyond your wildest dreams. You deserve that and much more..."
So, wait...did that mean that Vlad and I were in a relationship? But what did he have to do with that ghost who- "Oh...that's right..." I blinked gripping my head as I closed my eyes and hid my face between my knees, "He's just like me, half-ghost. I found out about it the day after we met. My parents did something that made him like that and I...what did I do to become like this? Wasn't it also because of a portal leading to some parallel world where most ghosts came from...?"
Curling up tighter I remembered a bright green flash before every inch of my body endured wave after wave of excruciating pain before I managed to blindly stagger out of the portal and collapsed onto my hands and knees. I heard two people who sounded about my age call out my name, which was apparently Danielle or Dani for short, but I couldn't make out their faces clearly. All I know is that after that my life was never the same. As hard as it was before that point it became almost unbearable.
I endured all of it in silence, alone, until I met Vlad. Maybe that's why I felt such a strong connection to him and comforted by his presence. That's when a more vivid memory suddenly rushed back to me as I called Vlad's number on a phone and tried to ask for help. Help with what I wasn't sure about except for the fact that it had something to do with that man with the staff. A man that I had a horrible feeling was dead now. I couldn't say for sure why I felt that was the case, but it was like whatever connected me to the power of that staff allowed me to see his final moments...
Or at least the end result.
Either way, given what I remembered about that guy he was probably asking for it but at the same time I was horrified by the sight of it and it left me feeling deeply disturbed. Who could have done that to him? Did I do it and I just couldn't remember? Is that why I was afraid to remember most of my past? Or did that other ghost I saw earlier do it to get back at him for stopping her from tearing me apart...? All I knew for sure was that whatever happened, it was bad, very very bad, and I was more afraid of finding out the truth about that then the truth about who I was supposed to be.
Vlad's POV
If I'm being honest with myself, enacting my revenge on Freakshow didn't erase the anger I felt towards him. I had wanted to do far more to him than I did before unleashing the fatal blow but this would have to suffice. The important thing to remember here was that I removed a serious threat, someone who was capable of making Danielle do horrendous things she would never willingly do...
Knowing his type, it wouldn't have been long before Freakshow DID order her to maim or kill someone and it would have destroyed her if she remembered doing it with her own two hands. As a half-ghost she had SOME resilience to the staff's power, which is how her friends managed to break through to her at all, however, his hold over Danielle's mind went deeper than I could have imagined if it could still damage her psyche this badly despite escaping its mesmerizing influence. Therefore I had a feeling some part of her would remember being ordered to do something so heartless and evil.
That's why I would be the one who made the hard decisions for her and the one who got blood on his hands by removing someone like him who posed such a serious threat to my beloved Danielle's life and her heart. I knew from the moment I met Danielle that she was too good for this world, too innocent. And sadly life has a way of snuffing out even the faintest glimmers of light in the darkness. I should know because I embraced the darkness once Jack stole the heart of the woman who I planned to steal back since it felt like she was the only woman who could light my way again and filled a void that no one else could. That is until I met her daughter and fell in love with her.
Yes, it all started out as an even deeper fixation on Danielle than it had ever been with Maddie, but then it quickly grew into something far grander and meaningful the moment I realized that Danielle was the one who needed to be saved, not me. This time was no different. Up until now I didn't care about anyone except for Maddie and I wanted to get to know her children so I could love them too but now, Danielle alone encompassed my entire world. The lengths I've gone to for her sake even took me aback at times, especially given how this was my first actual murder...
I've destroyed plenty of lives already, don't get me wrong, but never in a literal sense unless you count a few ghosts who had it coming who dared threaten me and made an enemy of Vlad Plasmius. After that most ghosts learned their lesson and spread the word that I wasn't someone to be trifled with and for the most part I was left alone. Well, aside from people in the business world trying to worm their way to the top, hoping to knock me off my pedestal. And if they fell trying to climb up that high without a safety net, it wasn't my fault if they lost their footing and plummeted back to the bottom.
The only human being that I seriously considered killing many times over even just to help me sleep better at night was Jack Fenton. But again I knew I couldn't be petty about how I went about it if I wanted to keep Maddie and convince her I would be there for her and her children from now on in her time of need as a widow. To me, it was far more satisfying to leave him alive knowing he'd lost everything and finally saw himself for the fool that he was.
To my surprise though even those feelings have changed because as much I still detested the man and was bitter about what he stole from me and how he destroyed my life, it wasn't as intense as before because I had something better to turn my undivided attention to which was leading his daughter into temptation so that she would fall madly in love with me too. And before long, without too much effort on my part, Danielle would see them for the selfish people they were and would willingly abandon her family to come to be with me, finally seeing for herself that they didn't deserve her protection. I suppose Jason was an exception to the rule, but according to the young man himself and his sister, he only stuck around to look after her anyway and was just as eager to escape from under their parent's shadow as Danielle.
I suppose this meant that I was like her silent protector lurking in the shadows, watching over and safeguarding Danielle to the point where I was willing to kill in order to keep her safe. I knew there was no going back once I decided how badly I wanted her but this, it made me wonder if maybe I went too far. Not that Freakshow didn't deserve his fate, but maybe I should have left him alive so he would be stuck there completely powerless as I destroyed the ghost of his girlfriend Lydia instead as payback for him hurting my lover since that's the one who actually marred Danielle's skin after lashing out in a fit of jealousy after Freakshow adorned her with stolen jewels just to gloat about successfully capturing his newest pawn.
It was too late now to regret my actions, which I didn't, but it did make me wonder if Danielle would see me differently after this if she knew. I wasn't planning on telling her the truth about this by any means, however, it was something to consider. As I said to Freakshow shortly before his demise, I masterfully covered my tracks and left no trace of my presence in either a human or ghostly capacity anywhere near the crime scene.
For one thing, I left no fingerprints and even if they found a stray hair of mine, no DNA test normal or otherwise could decipher anything of an ectoplasmic nature so it wouldn't even appear human. The same applies to Lydia's cloak which I purposefully left there to imply that maybe it was a lover's suicide and she killed him before evaporating herself so they could be together again in hell or whatever purgatory existence awaited them. Aside from that, even if they fled those other ghosts would be more likely to be pinned with the murder than some random ghost who had no connection to the ghost-controlling ringleader...
The point is unless I said otherwise, Danielle nor anyone else had any reason to suspect me of the crime of killing Freakshow. What's more, until I actually spoke to Danielle again there was no way of know how much of her memories have returned or even would regarding this incident as a whole. From what I could tell she was overcompensating for the trauma she went through by subconsciously blocking EVERYTHING out, not just what Freakshow himself did to her. Either way, now it was time to assess the damages before making my next move.
More importantly, I needed to see that Danielle was alright because even though she wasn't physically in danger anymore, I was almost afraid of losing her forever to the shadows of forgetfulness. I would always be there for her regardless, but the thought of losing the woman I loved again...terrified even me. If Danielle never recovered from this, I would not risk losing her again. Not for a third time since not only has Danielle run from me twice, but the second time this happened she was ruthlessly attacked by a mob of ghostly abominations in the forests of the Colorado Rockies...
And now, this Freakshow nearly enslaved her and I was blissfully unaware of his plans for her because I didn't have the foresight to look into the background of that circus beforehand to make sure there wasn't something to Jack and Maddie's suspicions of ghost involvement after all which I usually dismissed since they more often than not saw ghosts where there were none while looking for an excuse to test out their latest gadget on some hapless ghost who may or may not actually pose a threat to their town.
That's why, even if it meant I had to keep her in a guided cage after all from this moment forth to prevent such a tragedy from befalling my beloved ever again, I was willing to go that far if I had to. I could only hope that it wouldn't have to come to that because I trusted Danielle and knew that deep down she was strong enough to reclaim the light that Freakshow nearly corrupted, turning her whole world red like the petals of the roses he ensnared her in, their thorns cutting into her skin and poisoning her mind. And if not, I would carry her softly down into the darkness along with me so at least that way...
...neither of us would have to be alone anymore.
