No, you aren't dreaming. After a year and a month, Secret Heart is finally being updated. I'm soooo sorry for the super long wait, especially since this chapter was written in French since mid-August... T_T I have no excuse, but at least the update is here now =)

Hope you enjoy, I'll translate the next chapter real soon, I promise ^^


Secret Heart

Chapter 29

As he flew over continents, oceans, cities, towns, mountains—along with amazing or completely desert landscapes on this long flight which had seemed to him like it lasted an eternity just a few seconds ago—Gohan had readied himself to face every and all kind of situations concerning his reunion with the people whom he considered like family. His father's friends, with whom he had shared so many memories, so many adventures, that they had all become like an adopted family to him.

He must have inherited Chichi's worried nature. After all, his father had never been one to worry about the future and hardly ever thought about it. He lived the moment as it came and was only ever concerned about the future when a threat disturbed the peace. And when it did, Goku faced the danger and fought with all his might, guided by his warrior instincts, but also his will to protect everything he loved in this world. His mother, on the other hand, had always been of a worried nature, fearing for the worst at the slightest delay or every time one of her boys—husband included—was away from her for too long and she had no way of knowing what they were doing. It was really bordering paranoia. As far as he remembered, she had always been like that. Maybe it was because that, ever since his birth, she had had new responsibilities in addition to being the wife of the strongest warrior on Earth, or maybe it was just the way she was, Gohan wasn't very sure. Whatever the reason, Gohan must have gotten this particular, very human trait from his mother.

Usually, Gohan was never or rarely wrong in his predictions of possible scenarios, or at least he could have a fairly good guess of what to expect depending on the circumstances. As a result, he was always ahead of the others, be it in his studies, in any kind of problematic situation he might find himself in, or simply when he had to fight, either for justice or as part of his training.

Yes, Gohan had always managed to never let himself be caught off guard since he had followed Piccolo's intensive training for a year when he was hardly older than a toddler. He may not have trained regularly these past seven years, yet one thing was for sure: his mind, his intelligence, and his willpower had never ceased to increase.

So, when all these people who, only moments ago, had been dancing, singing, laughing, and embracing each other to celebrate this unhoped for victory, when all those he had terribly longed to see again when he was stuck waiting and concentrating on a faraway planet while the Old Kai revealed his hidden power, when all his friends and even his mother froze the very moment he landed gently on the Lookout floor—which had just been rebuilt by Porunga—and stared at him for very, very, very long seconds, sharing the same bewildered expression and not looking away from him… he really didn't expected it.

The young warrior was utterly and completely lost. It all made no sense to him at all. His mother, for instance, should have shoved her way towards him to be the first to hug him close while shouting "my baby!" like she did every time he came back after a long absence. That is how Chichi should have reacted. Yet she stayed silent, looking just as awestruck and stunned as any of the others in the Lookout.

This silence, which was already very nerve-wracking, kept going on and on. No one seemed ready to break it or speak up. Gohan, who was still lost, was very tempted to turn back and fly as far away from this heavy, weighting atmosphere that was starting to make him really uneasy.

And yet, despite the confusion, uneasiness and incomprehension that reigned over his feelings in this very moment, the only things that could betray his current state of mind were his slightly raised eyebrows, and his eyes, which were somewhat larger–a look that could be very well interpreted as mild surprise.

"Hey, what's with the weird looks? Is it Gohan's new looks that's making you look at him like that?"

"My brother's new looks? What are you talking about, Trunks? Gohan didn't change at all! He's just wearing the same outfit as my daddy and he's become even stronger than before!"

"That's right! Come to think of it, if Buu didn't absorb us after the fusion, Gohan would have crushed him in like, two seconds, or even less! He looked so cool when he beat Buu up! Too bad we fell into his trap; we could've used the Earth to try Gotenks' powers out on Gohan after he was done disintegrating Buu! How are we ever gonna train as Gotenks at full power now? That sucks."

Goten shrugged, the answer coming to him like the most obvious thing in the world: "We'll just have to go back to that special room where we fought Buu."

Trunks's eyes widened: "Of course! Goten, you're a genius! We absolutely have to go back in there and test Gotenks's Super Saiyajin 3 powers! No one can surpass Gohan now, we won't find a better opponent to try all our new moves on!"

"Ah, that's right! We didn't even have time to test them all on Buu and there's no one strong enough to fight Gotenks but Gohan! Besides, he's a great teacher, he can also teach us a bunch of new moves! I learned to fly real quick thanks to him!"

"You're right! And he can help us improve a lot, too! Gotenks isn't exactly ready yet, we didn't have enough time to practice in the room…Gohan just has to train us!"

"Yep! We have to become at least as strong as him!"

That was when the two kids turned around in sync to address the subject of their conversation. They looked so excited that Gohan wondered for a second if he really was the cause for this somewhat exaggerated reaction, or if they had too many sweets the last couple days and were in a sugar rush. Then all his doubts vanished as Goten and Trunks talked to him in the same voice, very much like their fusion, asking him if he could train them, at least until Gotenks get to his level and surpass him.

"We'll never be able to get better with anyone else as a teacher; Gotenks is too strong, even for daddy or Vegeta… Come on, big brother, please say yes…" Goten pleaded.

The young man looked over to his little brother, who was putting on his best puppy dog look, and Gohan felt any resistance crumble to nothing. Seriously, he really needed to learn how to resist Goten, especially when the little boy was acting all cute and sweet on purpose to have him go his way. Gohan was pretty sure that Trunks was the one to teach those tricks to his brother—the little squirt was an angel, and if it wasn't for the mini-prince's influence, Goten would've never thought of manipulating his big brother like that. Well, he couldn't really blame Trunks: with Vegeta and Bulma as his parents, it was to be expected. In fact, training them would have a good effect on the boys, it would allow him to put them back on the right track and he would be able to prepare them for their teenage life and then adulthood. That way they would be able to face the social world as half Saiyajins in time. Not like Gohan who was, even he had to admit, completely socially retarded.

"Well, good luck Gohan; you'll need it. Those two brats are impossible to discipline, and it's even worse when they are fused."

Gohan turned his head to see Piccolo smirk, looking very pleased to see the kids offended and protesting what the Namek just said. He immediately understood the true motives of his former mentor when he glanced at the others: their attention was diverted from himself and they were all looking amused at the children who kept throwing argument after argument to prove that they were worthy of the title of talented warriors.

Thanks, Piccolo.

You're welcome kid.

ooOoo

During all the hustle and bustle, no one noticed that one of them started to walk away from the group. A girl who, in the end, hardly knew these people and didn't understand half of the things they were talking about. So, she took advantage of the distraction with the kids, Piccolo and…him. The four of them were the center of attention and the teenage girl, who wasn't used to that kind of atmosphere, to be a part of this big "family" thing that was going on, preferred to be by herself so she could calm down her emotional whirlwind that seeing him again had sparked in less than a second.

It was ridiculous.

She had believed him dead, had cried and mourned him to exhaustion, praying to all and any god or divinity to end this nightmare and let her wake up in her bedroom as soon as possible. It had hurt so badly, she had been suffering so much at losing him, that she went so far as to curse their very meeting, the moment she fell so desperately in love with him despite herself, and even all the memories she had of him. And she had had so many regrets concerning him, but also concerning her behavior towards him since their first meeting, months ago. Why had she lost all this time because of her misplaced curiosity? And what did she harass him for, except lose her time watching him from afar instead of spend more time with him, all because her stupid obsession to discover his secrets? And, most of all, why, why had she been so stubborn, proud and so stupid to reject his love when she was completely crazy about him, when she loved him so much that it hurt her terribly and awfully every time he was apart from her? She had no excuses, absolutely none. She knew that he was very much in love in her, that he loved her for herself, and not for her wealth, her notoriety or even to get close to her father. He had probably loved her a little after he first got into high school, and she didn't even accept his friendship, pretending that it was because he was a liar. Who did she try to fool? In truth, she was the liar. She was the coward, the idiot who used this lame secret pretext as an excuse so she wouldn't get too close to him and fall in love. "I'm afraid of being hurt, I don't want to be heartbroken again, I don't want to lose someone dear to me again so I'm being a bitch with the only person who really loves me the way I am, because I don't want to fall in love."

Bullshit. As if it were possible, to not fall under Gohan's charming spell. He was so irresistible that all the girls in their class sighed dreamily while staring at him during class instead of listening to the teachers. And Gohan, of course, never noticed anything with his naivety. So even when one of them would try to hint at him to ask them out, he never got the allusion and the girl would leave disappointed and really frustrated. It was rather comical to watch, but in the long run, the girls at school—because he was really popular among all of them, even in other classes—gave up the idea of one day becoming Gohan's girlfriend, and they decided to simply stare at him and dream of him as their knight in shining armor. Hence the dreamy sighs in the middle of any class. As for Videl, well… She had managed to lie to herself for the first few months that followed the coming of Son Gohan to Orange Star High.

That is, until that fateful day where her whole world, her resolves, her willpower, her entire life, everything got turned upside down in just a few moments. All because of a stolen kiss.

Videl stopped walking, leaning back against the wall of the palace. She closed her eyes, focusing on this particular memory: their very first kiss. She'd been so surprised that day that her eyes had stayed wide open for several seconds before she relaxed, relishing in this new sensation that felt so good. She remembered that she'd thought his lips were very soft… and even if this kiss had been initiated because of a panicked moment, since she had refused to let him go that day, Videl realized today that Gohan had kissed her with all the love he felt for her. And it was his love, which she had unconsciously felt through that makeshift kiss, that had made her respond without a second thought, allowing him to kiss her breathlessly.

Videl focused more on the memory of their first kiss, her eyes still closed. She could almost feel Gohan's arms around her waist, pulling her all against him as the kiss deepened. And, instinctively, she had wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to be as close to him as possible while they kissed without any restraint.

Her body heated up, her heart picked up, and she swallowed hard as she immersed herself completely in her memory.

Gohan's hands… They were rubbing lightly against the fabric of her shirt, very softly, like a caress… a little on her waist, down her spine, to the small of her back, and up again… At the same time, the kiss was becoming softer, more tender, the rhythm slowing down…

Videl recalled having inwardly cursed her lack of air back then. She really hadn't wanted to stop the kiss so soon; instead, she had wished that Gohan would keep kissing her, that he continue his small caresses along her back, that he hold her even tighter against him… She would have wanted him to never stop.

Ever so slowly, Gohan pulled back from her lips, keeping her in his arms, pressed against him. She had kept her eyes closed and was trying to catch her breath, relishing in the last moments of their embrace.

She had felt so happy back then, in those last seconds she was in his arms… It had felt so nice… Every time Gohan held her against him, she always felt so protected and content… One look was enough to have her flustered, and if he smiled to her, she felt like butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. With the smallest of physical contact with him, her face would flare up instantly, her heart raced in her chest, and her throat tightened so much that she had trouble uttering any sound. Every time he carried her in his arms before flying off, she always needed a few moments to get her emotions under control, and when he flew with her in his arms, she'd always felt like they were sharing some kind of intimacy… It was as if they were alone in the world, just him, her, and the sky. Gohan flew so fast that she could hardly make out anything around them. So she snuggled up to him, and a content smile would form on her lips while she had fun listening to his fast and irregular heartbeats, no doubt caused by their closeness.

Videl exhaled deeply and finally opened her eyes. She could still hear Goten and Trunks from behind her, though their tone had changed. She cracked a smile—it seemed that Chichi and Bulma were hugging their sons tightly, and the boys were complaining and whining, saying that they were warriors now and that hugs were for babies.

"But you're my baby, my cute little Goten…" was Chichi's reply.

"When you'll start growing a beard we'll talk about it okay, my dear Trunksy?"

Laughter followed from their friends, mixed with the little warrior's embarrassed protests.

Videl looked up at the bright blue sky all around her. How she wanted to fly off, right here, right now… She glanced towards the group behind her, then, noiselessly as to not attract their attentions, Videl walked towards the edge of the floating surface, at the other side of the Lookout.

"Majin Buu has finally been defeated and we were all just brought back to life; you could at least wait for your dad before leaving, don't you think?"

She froze on the spot when she heard his voice, and she swallowed. Her heart picked up, and she closed her eyes in order to calm her turmoil. Don't break down, she told herself. Don't break down, especially in front of him. He can't see me like this, I've cried enough for a lifetime already… I don't want him to see me in such a pathetic state…

"Videl… are you listening to me?"

Oh god… his voice, his steps are getting closer… No, don't come, don't look at me, stay behind me… please… don't come any closer…

She was clenching her fists with all her might, focusing on the pain when her nails broke the skin. It helped her get some control over her emotions, so as to not break down and cry in front of him.

"Look, Videl… I know I was selfish when I told you…" A pause. He sighed deeply.

Don't say it. Please, don't say it. Not now, please… otherwise I… I'm going to…

"It's just that…" Silence.

This is bad… I'm completely frozen, I'm trembling… If he notices… if he gets any closer…

And then, she was completely winded and her heart stopped beating altogether for a few moments: he was embracing her from behind, holding her tightly against him, his face hidden in her hair… which, incidentally, she hadn't put into pigtails like usual.

"Go-Gohan… Wha… what are you…"

"I'm sorry."

Huh?

Taking a deep breath, she asked: "Why are you… apologizing?"

"I'm an idiot, a coward, a liar, I'm selfish… I'm always making you cry… When…" His arms tightened around her, and his voice turned to a whisper. "When… all I want, is to see you happy and laughing."

Oh no, my eyes are stinging… Damn it, I can feel the tears coming… I won't be able to hold them back for long…

"I was so stupid."

"It's… It's not true… Everything you just said… is nonsense…"

"Then why… why can't I let go of you? You're trying so hard not to cry that your whole body is trembling, just because I'm holding you against me. You're hurt and I feel it, yet I'm only making things worse. If I was…" He breathed in deeply, and continued in a trembling voice. "If I really was the one who could make you happy… the man you could spend your life with… If I… really was… the one for you…you wouldn't be struggling like that while in my arms."

Gohan didn't say anything afterwards. He didn't move either, didn't pull away, simply kept her in his arms. He wanted to tell her everything, absolutely everything. He wanted to give her his heart, his soul, his whole being. He wanted to stay with her forever, and never leave her again.

Most of all, he wanted to spend his life with her. He wanted to marry her, have a big wedding where they would invite everyone: their families, their friends, some acquaintances, and, why not, the students at school and even the teachers, while they were at it. And before all of them, they would make their love official and start a new life together, just the two of them. Later, once they would be ready, he would've wanted to start a family with her. Have one, two kids, or more, if she was okay with it… He wanted a big family. With always enlivened meals. A lot of noise and laughter around them. Tons of memories that they would make and share together. Growing old together, sharing everything… With her. Only her. No other girl. Ever.

"I love you… so much…"

Lost in his imaginary world, the words came out in a breath without him really noticing. In truth, Gohan thought he hadn't spoken out loud and realized his slip-up only when he felt Videl tense completely in his arms, and then tremble even more.

"You're really… an idiot…"

Were the last words she managed to utter before losing her battle against her emotions. Pain, grief, suffering, sadness, frustration, anger, helplessness, the feeling of injustice, and even the horrible memory of her own death… Everything mixed and invaded her so quickly, so intensely, that Videl would've collapsed had Gohan not held her from falling. Holding her tightly as she cried against his chest, her small hands gripping the top of his orange dogi, Gohan felt so dejected and helpless to see her cry and sob like this that he felt like breaking down himself.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Videl… Please stop crying… Don't cry… It's tearing my heart apart to see you like this… Please, don't cry… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to… I didn't even realize I was saying it… Please, please Videl, don't cry… I won't say it again, I swear, I'll never tell you that kind of things again… Just, please… don't cry… I'm begging you, Videl, stop crying… It's killing me… Seeing you like this… it's killing me…"

His voice, his whole body was trembling… And Videl realized that he was in the same state, the same desperate struggle that she herself had been through and lost completely against the tears and sobs that she couldn't control at all anymore. Gohan was struggling to not break down. To stay strong. For her.

Videl tightened her grip on his orange clothing. Then, her eyes closed tightly, she proceeded to breathe in and out deeply. She had to get her emotions under control, starting with stopping crying like a child.

One… two… three… One… two… three… One… two… three…

She continued several times, focusing on the pace of her breathing which she regulated by repeating continuously those three numbers in her head.

And it worked. By the thirtieth time, she had completely stopped crying. As for her hands, which had been clenching at the top of Gohan's dogi, they were now relaxed and simply rested against his chest. And her breathing was now even; so much, in fact, that one could be mistaken and believe her to be asleep.

And apparently, that was what Gohan thought, because the young man, who was holding her gently in his arms, began to think aloud.

"Dad, Vegeta and Videl's dad are still in the Kai planet, and Dende hadn't left planet Namek yet. Mm… I guess they are still short on energy in order to come back. Besides, Dende will have to heal them too, they must be in a bad state after fighting Majin Buu… I'm not worried for dad, his power came back at full at the last moment, so he's alright. Mr. Satan seemed fine when he announced Buu's defeat, so I'm not worried for him either. But Vegeta… He must be pretty beaten up from the fight, when he had to hold Buu off while dad collected everyone's energy, he wasn't even Super by the end… He must have taken such a beating… To think he can hardly bear to lose a fight, he's not going to take it well… It's as if it's some kind of custom to take a beating from an overpowered enemy, all of us have it in common, especially Krillin. He and I sure know a lot about overpowered enemies, starting with Frieza. He sure was a monster, even more cruel than both Cell and Majin Buu put together. Thankfully dad arrived back then… He's always there when there's danger and he always saves us, each time. Even today he came back from the dead so he could save me, exactly when Buu decided to stop toying with me and finish me off. Now that I think about it, I still don't know how he can be alive, he didn't have his halo… Ah well, I'll just ask him later, he and the others shouldn't be long now."

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that Videl wasn't sleeping at all, and she heard everything he said. She wondered how Gohan could know with such precision where Goku, Vegeta, Dendé, and her father were. He could even tell if they were alright or not. From what he just said, he hadn't been with them, and hadn't fought the last battle against Majin Buu; and besides, he'd come to the Lookout a short time after the end of the battle, so how could he know so much? And who was this Frieza guy? From what she understood, Gohan and Krillin had fought him and were beaten up pretty bad, and then Goku arrived and saved them… If what Gohan said was true though, if Frieza was really more cruel than Cell and Majin Buu put together… It was probably better that she didn't know about him.

It was then that she realized that Gohan hadn't said anything for a while, and she was still in his arms… Not that the position was uncomfortable or unpleasant, it was quite the opposite actually. Besides, now that she was relaxed and felt a lot better after crying her heart out, she could finally make the most of his warmth as he held her gently. She was tired after those two days of nightmare, she might as well fall asleep now, against him… At least if she did, she wouldn't have to tell him that she didn't fall asleep and had heard everything he had said. Besides, that way, she'd be in good shape in order to face him and finally tell him once and for all just how madly in love she was with him. And she already knew exactly how she was going to tell him, she could even picture the scene…

She would start by yelling at him. "You're really the most stupid of all! You didn't get anything at all, you idiot! Moron! Dumbass!"

As a reply, either Gohan would stay silent and be completely lost, either he'd try to protest and would stutter something. Either way, she wouldn't pay any attention and would continue as such:

"How can you be so freaking blind? Everyone noticed it, all your friends and all of mine too; even your seven years old brother saw it! How is it that you didn't notice anything, when you're so clever in class?"

At that moment, he would be even more confused, still not understanding what she was talking about; and exactly when he would be about to say something, she'd beat him to it and ask,

"You really didn't see anything, huh?"

He'd reply negatively, by shaking his head or speaking with hesitation. Then, she would calm down and say, in a softer voice,

"How… How could you have missed it…? Every time we kissed, every time you held me in your arms… And that night at Bulma's… I was ready to give myself to you, completely, not caring about the consequences… I was dying to be yours…" And finally, she would look right into his onyx eyes and finish: "Do you really think that I would want to make love with you if I wasn't in love?"

Gohan's reaction after that, she was unable to guess. Was he going to jump in joy, hug her tightly, or was he going to be so stunned that his answer would be, "huh?"…? It was impossible to know in advance, she would only know once she confessed her love to him. But for now, she wanted to fall asleep in comforting his arms; besides, he was convinced that she was sleeping for quite a bit now. He wasn't saying anything anymore either…

Ah well, she'd take care of it when she woke up. They had their whole life ahead of them now. She wasn't going to let him go now that she finally had him; she was going to go back to school, see him every day in class, fight crime with him when she'd be called by the police, and then after class, they would spend the afternoon together, just the two of them, and why not the night too… Not necessarily to have sex, after all they could simply sleep in each other's arms… And besides, even if deep down, she was dying to share this intimacy with Gohan, she was perfectly capable to control herself, and he was ever the gentleman, so Gohan would never try anything without her consent.

On the other hand… If he started kissing and touching her like he did that night, at Capsule Corp… He had better finish what he started this time; there was no way she'd let him leave her feeling like an idiot, like that one time! And if for some reason, he so much as thought of stopping before they were done, no matter the reason, she was not going to let him go that easily! If she had to, she would insist so that they finally do it! That's right, that was the price to pay when one was the boy who made Videl Satan desperately in love! So if on top of that, he made her lust for him, well he had it coming!

You just wait, Son Gohan… You will have it so bad, you won't be able to live without me, you will love me more and more… And I'd feel exactly the same way for you. You just wait, Gohan, because we're gonna be so happy together that it will felt like a dream that never ends. Nothing will ever be able to part me from you, and I have every intention to spend all eternity with you, since I know what afterlife is like now. But for now… I really want to sleep... Don't rack your brain too much in the meantime, okay?

Mmm… You're so comfortable…


To Be Continued…


March 2, 2012-