A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait! Real world drama kicked in, followed by me catching a pretty nasty virus, a bout of writer's block and school coming back in session. But, one good thing is that I have the next couple of chapters already started/outlined so they should be up a little quicker. I'd like to thank all the reviewers and readers for both this and 'A Controlled Burn.' I don't own any songs used in this chapter, I'm just borrowing them, and I'd like to let you all know that I've started browsing baby names for the bouncing bundle of Severide joy that will be gracing us in a few chapters. I'll make sure to post some of the names in the bottom of this chapter and you guys can let me know what you think-Alisabeth
His head swimming and his stomach growling, Kelly groaned, mentally searching out the source of soft giggling and the scent of crisping bacon. Brows furrowed as he stretched out, he stopped short, finding his feet hanging off the edge and his arm encountering empty space where his dresser usually would be. Swallowing against the cottony feeling in his mouth he forced himself to blink, flinching at the sight of a little girl sitting on the short coffee table in front of him, her blonde ringlets hanging around her pretty face. Closing his eyes once more, he pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging his temples as if to will away the image. Footsteps came close, causing him to freeze up.
"Emily," hissed a soft, feminine voice that was semi familiar. "Let Lieutenant Severide wakeup on his own. Come help me set the table."
There was a little whining before 'Emily' could be heard shuffling away. Opening his eyes Kelly finally realized where he was when he found a rather tall blonde leaning against the door jamb between the living area and what looked like the kitchen. Cindy Herrmann wore a gentle smile and a slightly stained dishtowel over her shoulder, giving a single nod to the awakening firefighter before retreating after her daughter. Standing and finding himself fully dressed Kelly swooned slightly, his fuzzy memories jack hammering against his skull and offsetting his balance. Feeling around beside the short, floral couch for his motorcycle boots he plopped down, nearly missing the couch as he jammed them on his feet, folding the blanket he'd been covered with before staring at the wall, including the array of family pictures and snapshots of the four Herrmann children.
"Morning Lieutenant," smirked Chris Herrmann as he shuffled in from a rear room, fully dressed for the day and full of energy despite the fact that the clock read eight a.m.
Mumbling a greeting, Kelly looked blankly at the older man, the last memory that made complete sense being when the other firefighter had met him at Blakely's, the firefighter bar on 5th. "Do I want to know what happened?"
Herrmann shrugged innocently. "Depends. You didn't say anything that I didn't know or that you hadn't confessed already. The only thing I find memorable was you trying to pull me into a tattoo parlor when we left Blakely's, that's when I decided you probably weren't in any shape to find your way home. You were saying that you wanted Cayson's name tattooed along your back, but when you got to the door and remembered tattoos require needles you started pondering aloud whether you could get it 'tattooed' in the same ink that they make kiddy tattoos." Amusement flooded Herrmann's face.
His face heating, Kelly bowed his head. "Where'd my car end up?"
"I called Shay and she drove it home from the bar. Do ya want to stay for breakfast and then I'll drop you off at your apartment?"
The smell of whatever else was being cooked tantalized his senses and Kelly nodded, following Herrmann to the kitchen and stopping short when all the children turned to him and waved, Emily blushing and ducking her head as he took the empty seat beside her. Thanking Cindy as she served up breakfast, he marveled at the easy interaction between the family, and the pure adoration in Chris's eyes as he answered one of his son's questions about his history homework. Feelings of envy shot through Kelly and he pushed his food around his plate, nibbling on the toast triangle that was part of a pair. Finishing his breakfast and helping to clear the table despite the protests he waited patiently for Chris, answering another son's (was his name Daniel?) questions about Squad.
Riding in the passenger's seat of the family mini-van, he felt his headache ebb away now that he'd eaten, his thoughts racing with the prospect of making a big decision. Appreciating the silence, he weighed his options, frustrated when all it did was drag him in circles. This seemed like something that required the ponderings of a nice, hot shower. Thanking Herrmann for the ride he stopped as the window was rolled down, turning on the sidewalk and listening when Herrmann cleared his throat.
"You said you talked to Cayson, so when you do your thinking, only consider what she said but concentrate on your thoughts, don't let her opinion sway you okay?" Not waiting he waved and pulled away from the curb. Now all Kelly had to do was deal with Shay and shift tomorrow…great.
Wearing his uniform and trying to avoid the look of raised eyebrows and pursed lips Shay had been shooting him since he'd told her the situation, Kelly settled into a chair in the kitchen around the long table, a yellow legal pad and pen in hand as he mapped out possible outcomes, feelings and thoughts he had on what was happening. A coffee resting at his left elbow he jotted notes in a barely legible chicken scratch, his short hand a puzzle to his own eyes. Fatigue rolling over him from lack of sleep he prayed for a slow shift, ignoring everyone around him until someone insistently cleared their throat, sitting in the chair beside him. Twitching as the continuously cleared their throat he turned, glaring when he found the Candidate sitting beside him with crossed arms and dark features.
"What do you want Mills?" he sighed, flipping his notepad so his notes were obscured.
"You've got some explainin' to do, Severide," the younger, usually docile man whispered harshly, dark eyes sparking.
Severide snorted, setting his pen down. "Last time I checked I don't have to explain anything to you." He was preparing for a fight, itching for a true opponent after wailing on the punching bag hanging in the apartment earlier that morning.
"Cayson is like my sister and when she's hurt or upset it upsets me, just like if something were to happen with Elise. Moreover, when I get a phone call from my mother demanding that I fix something I know nothing about, of course I'm going to get curious, especially when she tells me that Cayson has been crying and swearing off men while taking the diner's dessert counter hostage. Then, and it get's worse, I get a text attachment from Elise last night. Apparently Cayson was helping at the diner and started humming which turned into singing which turned into an impromptu concert where she ran out sobbing in the middle of Florida Georgia Line's "Stay." So I ask, what the hell did you do?" Mills countered softly, keeping his voice low enough where nobody else was of the wiser.
"None of your business Mills," Kelly rolled his eyes, his previous guilt increasing tenfold.
Fishing his phone out, Mills tapped the screen a few times, turning it to face Kelly, the video beginning to stream. Showing Cayson sitting behind the register in the diner, she looked absolutely horrible. Dark circles beneath her eyes which were red rimmed, her hair was in a messy ponytail, strands hanging loosely around her face. The tee-shirt she wore was one of Kelly's old squad shirts, about a size too small for him, and cinched in the back with a hair elastic.
I'd sell my soul just to see your face.
And I'd break my bones just to heal your pain.
In these times I need a saving grace, but time is running out and I'm starting to lose my faith.
But if I told you I loved you, would it make you want to stay?
I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Would it make you, make you, wanna stay?
Her voice cracking, she barely made it past the first chorus before she excused herself from the group of people watching her, disappearing into the women's bathroom where heart-wrenching sobs could be heard. Feeling nauseous, Kelly glanced away. "Turn it off," he demanded.
Mills stopped the video and pocketed the iPhone. "Whatever you did fix it, but only if you're doing right by her. Don't make me have to come back." Walking off the Candidate kept his head up and shoulders tensed, slipping into the apparatus bay.
Thinking about what had been said for a majority of shift, Kelly contemplated dialing out, his thumb hovering over her name in his phonebook numerous times. Staring at the contact picture of her as he hovered once more, protesting when a finger dashed past his eyes and pressed call, Dawson darting off in his peripheral. Hearing it ring he cursed, holding the phone to his ear and swearing aloud, stopping when the call was picked up.
"Hello?" came Cayson's voice over the line, no longer the pure, happy sound he was used to. Huskier than normal and a little nasally it sounded like she had a cold or that she'd been crying. "Kelly I have caller ID, I know it's you."
Biting his bottom lip he spoke half out of need, half out of impulse. "Can we meet after shift?" Hmm, straight to the point, that's good, he mused.
She snorted on the other end, followed b a little sniffle. "Are you gonna run again?"
So he deserved that. "I hope not. I've been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of days and I've figured out what I want, what I need actually. Will you give me a chance and hear me out?"
There was a hesitant, silent moment. "Are you going to be honest and tell me straight? I don't want anything sugar coated."
"If that's what you'd like."
There was a slow, unsteady inhale. "The park where we had our first date? You get off shift at what, nine thirty? So how about noon, that'll give you…about four hours to process." She chuckled. "I cant believe you called me at quarter past eight in the morning."
The tips of his ears felt warm. "Gabby dialed, and honestly I thought I'd reach your voicemail." He paused. "I'll see you at noon?"
"At noon," was all she said before hanging up.
Checking the clock he began an eager countdown, feeling more hopeful than he had since he'd walked out of her apartment. Jeez, if he couldn't go more than a few days without seeing her, even with having to make a big decision, maybe it was fate and this was Fate's way of telling him to get his butt in gear.
Acknowledging the calls of 'Good luck' he was receiving as he loaded his bag into his truck, Kelly felt completely wired, his heart thrumming and his fingers moving at their own volition to change the radio station as he pulled out. It was about a thirty five minute ride and he banked on not hitting the lunch rush. Humming along to the final moment of Ne-Yo's "Let Me Love You," he drummed his fingers on the rim of the steering wheel, fingers stopping and caressing the leather as a softer, slower song came on. Listening intently to the plucking of a guitar and the familiar voice of Train's Pat Monahan, he tried to recall the song and failed. It touched him, and he found himself agreeing with the lyrics, especially when the song ended and the DJ came on.
"And that was Train's 'Marry Me,' and now…" Kelly tuned her out, a smile spreading over his face as he pulled to a stop light. Texting Cayson quickly to say he had to make a quick pit stop he dialed a familiar number next.
"Hey dad, I was wondering if you still had Grandma Maggie's rings?" he grinned when Benny Severide picked up.
A/N 2.0: Sorry for another cliffhanger guys. And now for the list of baby names:
Girls: Andrea Florian, Eliot Rae, Lizetta Marie, Cassandra Lynn, Scarlet Shay, Scarlet Anne, Charlotte Emilia, Karissa Madison... please feel free to make suggestions
Boys: Andrew Florian, Christian Ray, Ian Shay, Austin Gabriel, Eliot Kelly, Michael Benjamin, Parker Joseph, Logan Taylor, Kellan Jethro, Noah Jacob, and Sean Daniel... again, suggestions are welcome
