Chapter 21

Fortunately for Alice, the next few days were packed full of frenetic activity in the healing tents, and she had little time to dwell on her latest falling-out with the elf. In truth, her anger at him had faded fast, and more than anything she felt hurt and more alone than ever before. She was a fiercely independent person, and had been since she was nine years old, yet somehow her affections for the elf had changed that, made her weaker somehow, less able to deal with the challenges of everyday life. The days seemed long and tedious without the prospect of speaking with him to lighten her mood.

And she had resolved not to speak to him, not ever again. Her pride had been wounded, and her heart ached whenever she thought of his cruelly direct way of letting her know categorically that her feelings were not reciprocated. The "parameters of their relationship" had been set.

But even more than those things, what held her back was the full knowledge that if she allowed herself to linger in his presence again, even if only briefly, she may forget her pain and pride and lose herself forever in a doomed, one-sided love. No, it was better to forget and move on, as quickly as possible. She was still young and she'd only known him for roughly two months, after all. It was ridiculous to fall in love just like that. Perhaps he had been right in putting a halt to her foolish dreams, even though she despised him for it...

She even regretted telling him all her secrets, since now she may find herself forced to converse with him about it in the future. She was resolved though, never to seek him out willing, if she could help it.

When she did have a spare moment she often visited Eragon, which provided occasions to see the elf, even though he had the good sense not to engage her in conversation. The first time they saw each other since their... confrontation, he greeted her politely as though nothing was wrong, but she replied only with a dirty look and swept past him, ignoring him completely. It had set the tone for all their encounters after that; him polite and unassuming, her dismissive to an extreme of his very existence.

The changed atmosphere did not go unnoticed by all. Angela seemed unsympathetic, even pleased, at Alice's moroseness, correctly guessing the reason behind her cranky attitude, though Alice refused to say a word of what had transpired.

"Ah, young love." Angela had remarked breezily, three days into Alice's self-imposed depression, "Such pain, such fresh betrayal..."

"Will you just shut up?" cried Alice finally, slamming a fist bad-temperedly down on her desk, sending her ink-pot flying across her healer's office. "You've been at me all day... Just leave off, already!"

Angela tutted at her outburst, but her eyes were uncharacteristically soft as they gazed at her charge. "Did that feel better?" she asked mildly.

"Frankly, yes." Admitted Alice, sinking back into her chair, and dropped her head into her hands.

Angela came around the desk and threw an arm around her shoulder. This was unexpected - it was rare for the witch to show serious affection, not masked beneath a veneer of sarcasm and tomfoolery. To Alice's shame, hot tears streaked down her face, and she refused to raise her head. She'd just stay like this until she could gather herself, she guessed.

"There, there," crooned Angela, stroking her hair gently, "You shouldn't bottle these things up. It's bad for digestion."

Alice mumbled something, and sniffed, " 'M such... idiot."

"No, you're not," said Angela firmly, "I know idiots when I see them - I am often one myself. You, my dear, are the most un-idiotic twenty-something I know of. It's alright to lose your heart a couple of times, even healthy, at your stage in life... just pick someone closer to your age next time... And race... And temperament. Anyone else, really." She said, prompting a watery chuckle from Alice.

After that discussion, and a good long cry, she'd put the worst of the heart-break behind her. But she still felt like an incredibly stupid girl - as she remembered Blödhgarm calling her several times after the incident in Lithgow. After several days of unhealthy stewing, she decided she needed to take action. Not by engaging the elf - no, she was quite finished with him - but in some other way. She needed to prove to the world and, more importantly, to herself, that she was moving forward. But she was unsure how, or where to begin. Fortunately for Alice though, the fates seemed to have been conspiring in her favour for once, and an opportunity at last found her.

It was reasonably early in the morning and she had just completed her first round of the day checking up on all her patients. Stifling a yawn, she reshuffled the parchments on her desk looking for the duty roster which needed to be updated, cursing when she couldn't find it.

"Where is that blasted-"

Just then, one of the junior nursing staff poked her head through the tent-flap. The petite nurse had a cheerful, round face and an extremely positive disposition, especially given it was so early in the morning. And what should she be happy about? Thought Alice grumpily. What could be so thrice-curst happy about this morning? They were in a war...

"Milady," said the nurse with a high-pitched giggle, "Milady, you have a visitor. He was asking about you in A." Something about the way she said "visitor" made Alice raise an eyebrow. Well, anything that distracts from this paperwork must surely be an improvement. She thought, and sighed.

"Well, go and get this mysterious visitor, then." She ordered, abandoning her documents in disgust.

"Right away, Milady." The nurse said happily, as though Alice had just given her the greatest news.

It didn't take long for Alice to find out the reason behind the nurse's behaviour.

"Sir Coram!" exclaimed Alice in surprise as the burly knight shouldered his way into the tent.

"Lady Alice, you are looking as radiant as ever," he greeted with a grin and an exaggerated bow.

"Does it not tire you to start with the flattery so early in the morning?" teased Alice, but she was pleased. Some flattery was just what she needed after... recent events. She ran her eyes over the tall knight. This time, he was not covered in blood and sweat, and looked extremely dashing and handsome. No wonder the nurse had fallen to pieces so easily.

His fair hair fell into his eyes at just the right angle, while his form-fitting noble's attire complimented his impressive physique. His broad shoulders filled out the tailored tunic, which was a silvery blue fabric that accentuated his expressive blue eyes. Why hadn't she noticed his good looks before? I was too preoccupied with the elf in the room, a small, nasty voice in the back of her mind answered, but she pushed that away. She refused to think of the elf today.

Sir Coram noticed her regard and flushed, pleased. He had been half afraid to find the beast (as he thought of the elf) lurking in the room somewhere, like a roosting bat.

"It is never too early to flatter one as beautiful and noble as you, my lady," responded Coram eagerly, egged on by her interest, "I need only remark on that which I find to be bare and unembellished fact, and if it seems like flattery it must only be because the limits of language itself do not allow true reflection on your most esteemed person. I beg pardon that my words are not... nay, cannot do justice to that which is already elevated to a level beyond description."

That lengthy speech, so solemnly put and in such formal language, caused her to chuckle, cover her mouth, then start to laugh from the belly, great peals of laughter that broke out despite her best efforts to contain them. Coram watched, a little bemused, yet happy that he was able to affect her so.

At last she stopped, and wiped a tear of mirth from one eye, struggling to catch her breath. "Ahh... I apologise..." she said at last, "But I must also thank you... I am afraid I have been in bit of a depression for a while now, and it is a relief to laugh again." She smiled and it was so sincere, Coram felt his heart skip a beat. "Oh, where are my manners!" she exclaimed suddenly, "Please, come and take a seat. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

He gladly drew up a chair, while Alice moved a pitcher of watered-down wine and her spare cups between them.

"I hope I am not disturbing your work," remarked Coram somewhat nervously, eying the notes and sheaves of parchment that Alice was unceremoniously shoving into a pile.

She gave an unladylike snort in response. "Hah! I'm swamped with work, yet all I can ever find are out-dated and useless records. I may as well burn the lot and start afresh." She complained.

"I've never been one for paperwork myself," admitted Coram, "I left the handling of my estate all to the steward - Therin's father." He offered.

"I thought Therin was a commoner?"

"He is," replied Coram, "He is the illegitimate son of the steward - not a nice man - but we grew up together regardless. It's a little complicated." He apologised.

"How is Therin doing?" enquired Alice, curious as to the fate of her former patient. He had been moved out of the sickbay just four days ago, to make room for the big influx of the seriously wounded they'd been receiving. Her eyebrows contracted - was this why he was back, was his friend not well-?

"Therin is fine." Replied Coram quickly, correctly interpreting her expression. "More than fine, actually; each day that passes he says he feels more whole, thanks to you."

Alice smiled. "It's great to know I was successful. If only I could treat all my patients as thoroughly... I have to leave most of it to the other healers." She explained, "It's not easy, but I just don't have the strength to treat everyone. Sometimes, that means... mistakes are made, because I wasn't there, or didn't have the skill or strength to save them." The frustration in her expression was obvious.

Coram steeled himself and reached out to lay a large hand over hers. "Though I maintain that you are perfect," he said seriously, prompting her to roll her eyes, "It would be impossible for you to be everywhere at once. You are only human, after all." He reminded her, intending to be a comfort. His last words seemed to have the opposite effect, however, and for a moment her expression twisted as her mind turned to darker places. But a moment later she seemed to shake herself out of it, and she was her usual bright self again, and Coram withdrew his hand, convinced he must have misread her expression.

"So why are you here, then?" asked Alice, trying to turn her mind away from the elf. Again.

"Ah, yes, well..." he stammered, seeming flustered. Alice watched him in amusement - he was clearly no stranger to woman, so he must be rather enamoured with her to not even be able to speak a coherent sentence. She resisted the urge to tell him to just spit it out.

He dug around in his pocket, and retrieved a slightly creased and bent letter from a pocket. She accepted it, surprised, and read:

"To Her Ladyship Alice of Aberon and Furnost, of the esteemed House of Thelduran, the King sends his warmest salutations and felicitations."

"It's from King Orrin?" said Alice in surprise. Sir Coram nodded and motioned for her to continue reading. She bent her head again, hiding her smile. Clearly, Sir Coram had learned his flattery from the Surdan court, if this was also how King Orrin addressed his nobility.

The rest of the letter contained a similarly long-winded invitation to a party, extolling the virtues of Lady Alice, the virtues of the party, and the virtues of the king and all the nobles who would attend, and lastly the virtues of an occasion wherein all three things should come together.

"Why is King Orrin throwing a party?" asked Alice, stalling for time while she pondered how to get out of it. Never mind that it was inappropriate to be wining and dining in the middle of a war - social engagements like these, in her experience, were beyond boring... except when the elf was there, the small, nasty voice in the back of her mind sneered, but she shoved that thought down again.

Coram gave a theatrical sigh, "I think it is because the Varden intend to leave soon, on their grand march to kick down Urubaen's gates, or something..."

"Oh yes, that march." Said Alice dryly, "How could I forget."

"... So, many of the Surdan nobles will be leaving, running back to their various estates like the cowards they are," continued Coram, the contempt clear in his voice.

"Couldn't the King order them to fight?" asked Alice, surprised, "I thought King Orrin was supporting the Varden wholeheartedly."

"He is," said Coram loyally, "But..." he sighed. "His Majesty acknowledges that he needs to respect the nobles' free choice, in order to avoid a civil war while we're fighting this one."

"Is it really that bad among the nobles?"

"Not yet," Coram reassured her, "The King is just being cautious. He knows that while he is away, any potential usurpers grow stronger. So he has allowed a few rats to abandon ship, and sent a few other nobles that he trusts back too, to balance out the power at home. It won't affect the outcome of this war, anyway," he said, confidently, "Most of the soldiers under the noble houses have elected to stay and fight voluntarily; the nobles are only leaving with a ghost force."

Alice nodded, impressed by his insight. Coram must be far in the King's counsel if he could speak so confidently about his political manoeuvres. She looked down at the parchment, pensive.

"I do hope you will come." Pleaded Coram, a pathetic kind of desperation in his eyes.

She bit her lip at his puppy-dog expression. "Not willing to face the sea of nobles yourself?" she guessed.

"Oh, Gods, yes." He said dramatically, "You have no idea of the pain it causes me. I feel mildly suicidal after each one."

"Why do you go then?"

"The King knows of my discomfort and revels in it." He complained pitifully. "He is most cruel. I am part of his retinue, and have no choice."

Alice considered - he was a bad liar. She could tell he revelled in the politics and social banter... and was probably good at it, too. Clearly, Coram was loyal to King Orrin - an interesting man by all accounts, though she had yet to speak directly to him. The fact that Coram was so deep in the king's confidences showed that he was a formidable politician already, young as he was. Don't be silly, chided her inner voice, he's not much older than you, and you've achieved more. Don't judge people by their appearances - like certain elves do.

"I've heard that Lady Nasuada will be there, as well as other important notables," added Coram, hoping to win her over.

Alice looked down at the invite once more. She wondered if he would be there... if it was even a possibility, she wouldn't go. She opened her mouth to decline, then paused, thinking. Was this the way she wanted to be, hiding and running from him, not even daring to go out and socialise? If he was there, it was not like she'd have to talk to him, anyway.

"I will go." She said at last, and smiled at him.

"Well... Great!" said Coram, somewhat surprised. He'd thought for a moment she would refuse. They both rose from their seats, and he gave another exaggerated bow. "I'll meet you at your tent, then, two nights hence."

"Wait, what?" asked Alice.

His grin was wicked. "I will, of course, be your escort of the evening." He said with another low bow, and a mischievous wink. " 'Til then, my lady." He said, and strode out before she could say another word.

Alice thought for a moment, then shrugged and sat down, pulling her papers towards her again. Well, let the young men come. She thought to herself with a chuckle, feeling slightly bitter. She supposed she was on the open market, as it were. There was no reason why she shouldn't have her share of fun.

Author's note:

I absolutely love writing Coram's dialogue, he's so adorable... don't you think?