Five days, five fricken days. Thats how long it had been since Sam had last seen Cas. His great idea to let the angel lash out at scrap metal for a bit before trying to talk to him again, had turned out to be the worst one yet. Dean had almost howled when Jody came by a few hours later to tell them he had been seen hijacking a car.
A bloody car.
If Sam wasn't going to hell already, he was sure God would have beaten him down there with a hammer for that one. Drinking demon blood was one thing, corrupting an angel in such a way was a whole other story.
"Hey. It's me again, just call me back okay?"
He had left message after message for the angel, but so far he was having no luck with them being returned. He just wanted to know that he was alright, that he knew where they were if he wanted to find them. Had Sam gotten his way, they would still have been sat at Bobby's waiting. Dean however wasn't quite as patient as him.
"He's got a car to crash in, he'll be fine." He had stated. Sam supposed it was supposed to be reassuring, but it had only caused him to wince at his choice of words. Given what had happened with the Impala, that was exactly what he was afraid of. Cas may have been a warrior, but that didn't mean he couldn't be concerned for his welfare.
With great reluctance he hung up the phone, studying the blank screen for a moment as he contemplated whether to get back to his research. Between Cas, Dean and now this case, it felt like he was almost drowning.
"We're all gonna die, Sam. In like a month—maybe two. It's going to happen."
He shook his head. He knew things were bad, but with every day that passed, Dean seemed to say something else which seriously made him question his state of mind.
The man needed help, he knew that. The problem was Dean had lost all faith in them. Hell, if he was honest, he was fairly certain he had lost all faith in everything. Nothing he said made a blind bit of difference. The apocalypse had gotten to him and God bailing had been the final nail in the coffin.
He saw no reason to fight anymore and Sam didn't have a clue how to change that.
He turned his hand over, slowly going to put the phone down on the table he sat by. He stopped before it reached the surface however and flipped it back around, his fingers dialing a familiar number of their own accord. Almost as if they were functioning on some sort of autopilot.
As the phone rang, he tore a glance to Dean on the other side of the room. He was sat going through books on the couch, a hard, yet almost vacant look on his face as he roughly turned the pages. Each movement seemed forced, robotic and Sam's chest tightened uncomfortably the more he watched.
Despite filling his brother in on Cas' theory, things between them were no better. He didn't believe a word of it, thought it was just another point to add to Sam's list of lies. There was like a cloud that hung over him, weighing him down. Sometimes he tried to hide it, sometimes he tried to be normal. But there was something missing from behind his eyes. He was going through the motions, but he was simply existing, rather than living. Seemingly biding his time until the day it all ended and he could just roll over.
This morning, was becoming something of a pattern. He was making more and more comments as the days went by. Comments that terrified the life out of Sam. Left him wondering what would happen if he left him alone. So he went to the bars with him, followed him to the toilets, took what ever was thrown at him, in the hopes that his presence would at least stop him going down the path of self destruction.
Would at least stop him from giving Michael that yes.
"For the millionth time Sam, no, he's not turned up here. Stop-"
He hung up without a word before Bobby could even finish his sentence. That wasn't why he called. At least not this time, but he couldn't bring himself to vocalize his thoughts. Dean looked up to Bobby, he wouldn't want him knowing about this. Not when it was only temporary, not when Sam was going to find away to bring him out of it.
He cleared his throat, hoping it would be enough to make Dean look at him. It wasn't. His stare was empty and he was nursing his fourth bottle of beer, despite not taking a sip of it in over twenty minutes. He was too far into his head, being submerged in his own thoughts.
"Dean, any luck?" Green eyes turned to bore into his and Sam's blood ran cold at the sight of them. It took a moment for any signs of recognition to appear and even when they did, the younger Winchester, couldn't shake the feeling Dean wasn't completely there with him.
"No." Dean said after a strangled pause. His hand finding its way to the corners, then to the back of the book as he slammed it shut. "There's nothing in here." Sam doubted he had even a read a single word to actually know that for certain. Before he could say anything however, Dean pushed himself to his feet, abandoning his drink on the coffee table. "I gotta clear my head."
"It will be past curfew soon." Sam immediately protested, sitting up straighter in his seat, but Dean simply shrugged and walked towards the door without sparing him a second glance.
Sam's eyes fell to his phone, then to the books in front of him. He didn't have time for this, didn't have time to be following his brother around like a little lost sheep. There was still so much to do, they were clueless as to what was happening in this town. Clueless as to why there were so many demons congregating and clueless as to whether Leah Gideon really was a profit. There was still some numbers he could try, to try and reach Cas and he was fairly certain he was going to have to go over everything Dean had claimed to have read that night.
The tapping of shoes drew his attention back to his brother, who was by now reaching for the door knob. Cursing under his breathe, he ran a hand threw his hair and scraped his chair back across the wooden floor.
He couldn't do it, he couldn't risk it.
"Hold up- I'll come with, maybe we can talk to Paul again."
He knew he was being ridiculous, that at some point he had to trust Dean, but he hadn't snapped at him to leave him alone yet. That in itself, was enough to sound off the alarm bells. It meant he needed Sam with him, that perhaps he was as afraid of what he would do, should he find himself alone, as his little brother was.
He slipped his phone into his pocket as they headed out into the cold night, sparing a single glance up at the stars as they shifted along the path. It was hard to believe the world was basically coming to an end, when you were greeted with a sky like that. There were no falling meteors, no sounds indicating they were in the midst of war.
It was just a normal, peaceful night.
He looked down at the eerily empty streets as Dean made his way to the tavern.
Okay, so who was he kidding? There was nothing normal about any of it.
Slamming the door to their motel room closed, Sam stumbled, along with his brother, inside, his jaw locking in anger as he tried once again to make him show any type of emotion.
"Don't you get it? They're turning this place into some kind of fundamentalist compound." What the bartender had told them, had made him feel sick. It was like something out of one of those end of the world films which somehow made their way onto the TV. Everything people had predicted, was basically coming true. By the end of it there would be nothing left. There would be no such thing as free will, just a bunch of mindless zombies to afraid to even sneeze.
"No, I get it." Dean replied, shrugging as he took of his jacket, his face as unreadable as before. Sam shook his head. It had been the same all night. He reached a hand up, rubbing at the back of his neck as he desperately tried to search his brother's face for any sign that it was all a front. "I get it. I just don't care."
Sam almost visibly took a step back, as every muscle in his body tightened. He hadn't just said that right? "What?"
"What difference does it make?" Dean continued, reaching into the fridge to pull out the beers he had stashed in there earlier. He pulled back the tag as Sam simply stared at him, taking a swig and almost downing it in one go.
"It makes a hell of a—" Sam stopped, swallowing hard and clenching his fists at his side. This couldn't be happening. Hunting was all they knew, since when did his brother sit back and allow people to be killed? "At what point does this become too far for you? Stoning? Poisoned Kool-Aid? The angels are toying with these people!"
The older Winchester shrugged again, this time looking up dead into his brother's eyes. "Angel world, angel rules, man."
Sam could barely bring himself to respond as he felt his heart beat wildly against his chest. "And since when is that okay with you? "
Because it certainly wasn't with him.
"Since the angels' got the only lifeboats on the Titanic. I mean, who exactly is supposed to come along and save these people? We certainly can't." They were powerless to stop anything. Even God had given up on the world, what was the point of them fighting to save it, to save anyone when the grand plan was just going to end in death anyway.
They were just prolonging the inevitable.
And he was sick of it.
"So what? You wanna, you wanna just stop fighting, roll over?" The words were practically choked out of his mouth as he tried his best to keep his breathing even. It was one thing to suspect it, to worry about it. To obsess over it.
To hear Dean say it however, was a whole different ball game. It made things real. It made things dangerous.
"I don't know, maybe. "
"Don't say that." He had to be kidding. He just had to be. This was some horrible horrible nightmare and he would wake up from it soon. He almost felt like congratulating Lucifer, because yeah, he had finally found one that worked. Despite all the torture, all the pain, all the promises…. Nothing, nothing was worse than the sheer panic which was now running through him right now.
"Why not?" Dean asked, though he didn't particularly look like he was searching for an answer.
Sam felt like screaming. Was it not obvious? He could not do this without him. He could not fight of Lucifer, save the world and right the mistakes they had all made, without his brother by his side. He was his hero, his rock, he could not be rolling over now. "Cause you can't do this."
You can't do this to me.
"Actually," Dean replied, placing the beer back onto the counter. " I can."
Sam shook his head, he wouldn't let him, he wouldn't let this be the end.
"No you can't. You can't do this." His arm shook and he stumbled back a step, his hair falling into his face.
This couldn't be happening.
He was the one who was supposed to break. Not Dean. Never Dean.
"I'm going to bed." The older hunter kept his expression void, any emotion he was feeling, locked deep behind his eyes as he turned away and headed out of the room.
Sam opened his mouth to say something. Then closed it again all too quickly.
He didn't know what to say.
He didn't know what to do.
He couldn't do this without him. He just couldn't.
"Dean…"
The man unsurprisingly didn't respond.
Listening to Dean's snores from the bedroom, Sam finally allowed himself to sit down on the old couch, pulling the lore books towards him. He ran his hand through his hair and simply blinked in exhaustion as he looked down at the sheer amount of text he had to work through.
For perhaps the hundredth time since they had returned from the heavens, Sam found himself internally shouting out every curse word he knew and directing it to one ... thing in particular.
The man who did not deserve to call himself a God.
Dean had literally been to hell and back, yet that… creature, was the one to break his brother.
It wasn't right.
And it wasn't Dean
He sank back into the chair, rubbing at the corner of his eyes with one hand as he cradled a beer in the other. He was so tired, but there was no way he was getting any sleep tonight. He had to go through every single page. There had to be something.
This couldn't be it. This couldn't be Judgement day.
Dean made a noise from the other room and Sam wiped his head around, almost freezing as his body prepared itself to stand. To make sure there wasn't an archangel in the house. To beg his brother not to do this. To fight just a little bit longer. A little bit harder. For him.
When the snores started up again, he let out a batted breath and dropped back down against the cushions. His head banging purposely into the wall behind him.
This was too much.
He couldn't do it.
Without even looking, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Cas' number.
"Cas…" His voice was barely above a whisper. "We're in over our heads here. And Dean...I need … I need to know at least one of you are okay," He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and just holding it for a moment. "Please, you don't have to come back, but, I-I can't do this on my own. I can't - Dean, he's… Please."
He pulled the phone away from his ear, shaking his head as he heard what sounded like a rustling of blankets, his body tensing all over again, as he thought the urge to just go and check. To make sure. To camp out in the doorway if that's what it took.
He rested his head in his hand as everything fell silent, not even a ticking clock filling the void. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight. No way he was ever getting any sleep again. Despite lecturing Cas on how important it was less than a week ago.
He just couldn't trust his brother would still be here if he ever dared close his eyes again. "Cas…"
He started talking, and he just didn't stop.
It was well into the next afternoon when a figure stumbled into the room Sam was sat in ."I got your message."
The hunter jumped, his head darting upwards and shooting around to the source of the voice. His heart beat picking up pace before his eyes even landed on the angel.
Oh thank fuck.
"It was long your message."
Castiel seemed to almost stumble forward and Sam found his relief, giving way to confusion.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked carefully, pausing as he watched the man sway forward." Are you -drunk?" He raised his eyebrows, fighting off a thousand different urges. To run and hug him, to yell, to beg, to thank the souls of the departed that he was alight.
"No." Cas took a step forward, clinging onto the bars in front of him for balance. Sam raised his eyebrows more. "Yes."
The hunter spared a quick glance towards the far window as he approached him. Making sure Dean was still stood outside talking to the pastor. He couldn't risk taking his eye off of him for even a minute anymore.
"Where the hell have you been?" Sam asked, switching his attention momentarily back to Cas.
"It is not of import." He shrugged, not really knowing the answer himself. He cared as much about a town's name as the bee's he encountered did. He had planned for it to stay that way as well. To drift from place to place with no real purpose. Because, why the hell not? His father had abandoned the world, made the mission he entrusted to his sons obsolete. Why should he care about doing anything, when all that was left was to watch his family tear the world apart. For the trees to turn to ash. For the concept of free will to cease to exist. For him to suffer the loss of two boys that had embedded themselves into his heart.
No, he never planned on discovering a location again.
Except, Sam's message, the last one, had changed everything.
He couldn't ignore it, not with that tone in his voice. He still considered himself to be their guardian, whether he had wings or not.
And they needed him.
Sam needed him.
He looked up into the hunter's eyes, and offered him a small smile.
"I found a liquor store." He volunteered, as a way of an explanation. He'd listened to everyone of Sam's messages, wanting nothing more than to call him back, but he had nothing to say. He could not lie to him and tell him he was okay, when he wasn't. He could not talk to him, hear him asking him to come back to them, and refuse it. So yes, he had taken the coward's way out, tried to ignore him, tried to drink his problems away.
But he couldn't forget them.
And Sam, wasn't sleeping, he had to come to him.
He had to help him.
And by god, He'd missed his voice.
He'd especially missed those eyes.
"And..."
"And I drank it." It was actually kind of refreshing. Surprisingly so. The taste was bitter, alarming to his tongue, but he got used to it. Though the more he drank, the more he had to keep drinking, to keep the numbness there, to keep himself from screaming at the sky, from taking his anger out on anyone who crossed his path… from calling Sam and asking him to come and get him.
He shook his head, it always came back to Sam.
He took a step forward. There was too much distance between them, far too much. He hadn't seen him for days. He had to get closer, to see every inch of his face, all the little imperfections, the lines and the colour, everything that made Sam, Sam.
The hunter's arms were grabbing onto his before he knew what was happening, his body drifting to the side as he lost all balance.
Well, that certainly hadn't been his intention.
He supposed he should have seen it coming though, with the amount of alcohol in his system.
"Woah easy…" Sam called out, his fingers grasping around his sleeves. "Cas, are you okay?"
The angel looked at him for a moment before indicating with his hand for Sam to come closer. The hunter did as he was told slowly, hesitantly, searching the angel's face for any clue on what was going on with him.
He leant forward slightly, as Castiel pulled at him, bringing his lips up to his ear.
"Don't ask stupid questions." He grumbled, before stepping back and allowing a clearly taken aback Sam to move away again. He could not lie to him, he would not lie to him.
But he could not tell him the truth either.
He would not add fuel to his already growing concerns.
"Now tell me what you need."
They started of small, working out who could be controlling the demons and who exactly Leah was, if not a prophet. The hunter was rather surprised, that despite Cas' condition, he still listened intently to everything he had to say. He sat next to Sam on the couch, going through his research with great care, his trench coat firmly back in place.
Their knees rested against each other at one point and Sam had to stop himself from asking for more.
He was so tired and Dean was- He jumped to his feet unexpectedly, looking around the room in a panic. He couldn't remember when he had last seen him, when he had last heard from him. It could have been hours, he could be sat somewhere stewing, considering…
"Sam." A hand rested on his shoulder, drawing him back around to the face the person it belonged to. "Is Dean really that high of a concern?"
He wanted to say no, he wanted to say he was being overly cautious and Dean was just having a bad day. But he couldn't bring himself too. It wasn't just a bad day, it was a bad week. Hell, it could have been a bad month for all he knew and he had only just taken notice.
He supposed his face said it all because Cas dropped his hand and looked away. "Damn it."
Sam snorted, though he didn't mean to. It just kind of summed his feelings up on the subject completely and he needed some sort of outlet. A release from the stress that was building.
"I, don't know what to do." He eventually admitted, sobering up, his eyes desperately searching the windows for signs of his brother.
Cas followed his gaze. "You keep fighting, prove him wrong."
"Does that mean you think we still have a shot?" Sam asked, his forehead creasing. His actions kind of said otherwise.
Castiel looked back to him, rubbing his lips together as he contemplated an answer.
"If anyone can get the world through this, it's the Winchesters." He stated, his eyes drifting, contemplating whether that could truly be the case. Whether, despite his father's abandonment, they could still win this?
"That your way of sitting on the fense?"
Castiel narrowed his eyes, stilling them and looking directly back at Sam."There is no fense in here."
"No I know, I just mean… God… I missed you," The word slipped out before he could stop himself and he immediately froze, sparing a single glance towards the angel. Castiel closed his eyes, before opening them again and brushing it aside.
Sam meant more to him then God did now. The word should not faze him.
It was a name, a phase humans used. It held no other meaning.
Except it did, it really did and it produced an anger within him he was not yet in control of.
"The feeling is mutual I can assure you." He took a step forward closing the gap between them and reaching out to run his hand slightly down Sam's arm, ignoring the desire to do some serious damage to nearest object. "And your brother entered the Tavern a little while ago, there is no reason to be alarmed."
Sam nodded , only wishing he could believe that as his eyes followed the trail Cas was making.
He would have done anything to have more of it. For things to just be that simple.
"We should…" He indicated back to the pile with his head and Castiel soon nodded, dropping his arm.
"...Focus on killing the whore." He finished for him, earning himself an amused look from the hunter. Castiel eyed him suspiciously for a moment before rolling his eyes. "The whore of babylon." He clarified, reaching for a book and twisting it around for Sam to see.
"Dean how did you do it?"
Castiel eyed the brothers suspiciously as he watched the conflicting emotions flash across Sam's face. He understood the younger Winchesters confusion, he himself had only just said neither Sam or Dean possessed the quality necessary to kill Leah. Yet that was exactly what Dean had just done.
"What?" Dean asked, barely sparing a glance to his brother as he helped the injured pastor into their motel room. Castiel narrowed his eyes more, while reading people was never his specialty, he liked to think he was getting better at it. There was just something in Dean's tone which suggested he knew something they didn't and he didn't like it.
If Sam's expression was anything to go by, he didn't either.
"Kill her? Last I checked, she could only be ganked by a servant of Heaven." And Castiel had made it quite clear neither of them were that. Sam rubbed his tongue along the roof of his mouth, his concern kicking up a gear again. There was something going on inside his brother's head and he had a horrible feeling he knew exactly why Dean was now worthy of that title.
Dean shrugged, his face giving absolutely nothing away. "Well, what do you want me to tell you? I saw a shot. I went for it."
His voice was steady, certain, not even a hint of a lie rested within it, but Dean lied for a living. They both did and as their eyes locked, Sam knew he had every reason to be worried. He hadn't just given up anymore, he'd accepted their fate. Accepted that there was just no turning back.
Dean looked away.
"Look you two should get some sleep. Don't think I haven't notice your sudden vigilant watch over me."
It was Sam's turn to shrug but Castiel found himself frowning as the hunters throat constricted and he swallowed a lump. It was not nearly as nonchalant as he had perhaps hoped for. "Can you blame me?"
Something had changed, in that millisecond, something had confirmed his friend's worst fear. His face said it all, his breathe was shorter, his teeth clenched together, but his eyes gave away that it was not due to anger, but fear.
Dean didn't reply, he just turned to walk towards the door.
"Where you going?"
Castiel took a step forward, placing a comforting hand on Sam's arm. He may not have been able to feel his panic in the same way as he used to, but it was practically radiating of him now.
Dean rolled his eyes.
"I'm just gonna grab some clean bandages out of the trunk. Relax. Go to bed, I'll fix the Pastor up."
"He's going to do something stupid. Micheal stupid." Sam said, straining his ears to try and listen to sounds coming from the other room. He was supposed to be sleeping, he had agreed to sleep, but how could he now? After today?
Castiel pulled his trench coat of, placing it over the railing on the bottom of the bed. He didn't say a word as he climbed in beside Sam, surprising the younger man as he laid down on his side facing him, rather than on his back as usual.
"You do not know that for sure."
Sam shook his head. He appreciated what the angel was trying to do, but it pointless.
"I do. It's why he could kill Leah."
"There, could be other factors."
Sam turned, so he was the one lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling."You don't really believe that."
Castiel looked away, listening for the sounds himself. No, he guessed he didn't. There was only one reason that Dean would be considered heavens servant now and it did not bode well for any of them.
"No,"
Sam nodded, his lips pressing tightly together. The second Dean basically told him to leave him alone, he knew without even the smallest shred of doubt, he had made his mind up.
He was unsure before, frightened by his own thoughts, but that was no longer the case. Dean had a plan, or at the very least he was formulating one. Which left them with the question on how the hell they were going to stop him.
He had never considered it, not once since it was revealed Dean was Michael's vessel. It was Dean Winchester they were talking about, a backup plan wasn't necessary. He would keep saying no, Sam would keep saying no and eventually they would lock the devil back where he belonged.
Not once did he ever think the outcome would be any different.
He lifted his hand and ran it through his hair, breathing out deeply as he tried to force himself to think. There had to still be a way to change his mind. To make him realise the world was still worth fighting for. That they, were still worth fighting for.
Castiel sighed. "You need to sleep Sam, you won't be any use to him if you can not function."
He turned his head back to look at the angel. He was right, he knew he was right and he could still hear the voices from the other room, that at least meant he was still here, that he hadn't abandoned them yet. Pastor Gideon had spoken to him as Dean had gone to the Impala, promised to stick around until the man fell asleep if that's what he wished. He didn't know why, not really, but Sam's face was enough for him to offer anyway.
Castiel was grateful, he had snapped up the offer and guided Sam to bed without giving the man a moment to think it through.
But it did nothing to ease his concern.
How could he trust Dean would still be there when he woke up?
That he wouldn't convince the man to leave and slip out as they were oblivious?
He moved his hand to rest against his forehead causing Castiel to frown.
"Does your head hurt?" He asked, reaching over to stop Sam's hand from placing a barrier between them.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Sam replied, he was after all the one who had gone on a bender, though he seemed surprisingly sober now.
Castiel didn't answer, instead he leaned in closer, wrapping his arm around Sam's waist and propping himself up on his other elbow. As confused eyes watched him, he placed his lips to the man's temple, keeping his touch soft, barely a tickle against his skin.
When he pulled back, Sam's nose wrinkled, though Castiel was pleased to note the crinkles in his forehead had relaxed.
"What was that for?" The hunter asked, taking in a deep breath. The angel had the uncanny ability to make him forget how his lungs were supposed to work.
"You were in pain. I was informed kisses 'make it better'." Despite the situation Sam couldn't help the smile that worked its way onto his face.
"By a kids infomercial by any chance?" He joked.
Castiel tilted his head to the side, narrowed eyes looking down into the current hazel ones. "Is it not correct?"
Sam thought about saying no, because in the way Castiel intended at least, it was not the case- kisses held no physical healing properties. But he was so close, his eyes holding so much compassion, that he just couldn't force the word from his lips.
Besides, he tried to reason, it had helped. Even if it was just momentarily, it had caused his body to pause. To stop all the thoughts from shooting around his head.
He needed that, he needed a break, for the worry to stop for just a little while.
"No, Yeah it is. Its good." He closed his eyes. "It helped."
If he hadn't have been so exhausted, he may have been able to form proper sentences. Castiel seemed satisfied with that answer however and smiled down at him.
"Okay then." He leant down again, this time brushing his lips against Sam's cheek.
One eye instantly popped back open and Sam grinned at the face that stayed hovering above his.
"What was that one for?"
Castiel looked away, his smile growing slightly causing just the tips of his teeth to show through. Sam couldn't help but stare, it was rare sight on the angel.
"I'm not sure." He admitted, it was more a desire which caused him to act, rather than any type of logical thinking he could explain. He wanted to do it and he wanted to help Sam calm down. "Was it alright?"
He had kissed him before, but he had left for days, perhaps it was no longer appropriate. Sam didn't seem angry though, the opposite in fact.
"Cas, you can kiss me anywhere you want and it all always be alright."
The angel wasn't sure that was strictly true, but he relaxed at the acceptance anyway, nodding once to show he understood. Sam closed his eyes again, more at ease than he was before, he could still hear his brother and Cas made an incredibly good distraction from the whirlwind that was going on inside his own head.
He was as content as he was going to get for now.
"Even here?" Warm lips touched the side of his jaw, just underneath his ear.
Sam nodded, laughing. "Yes."
Despite not being able to see, he could still feel the angel's breath on his face, sense his shadow looming over him, feel the heat coming from his body. He moved his hand to rest it on Cas' waist, holding him there, not quite wanting the moment to end. For the walls to come crashing down around them and the reality of what they were going to have to face to become the here and now.
"And here?" This time it was on the end of his nose and Sam couldn't help the laugh that followed. He turned, twisting so he was laying back on his side. Bringing Cas down as he did, so he rested beside him, barely centimetres away.
"Yeah, but the conventional way is good too."
As Castiel contemplated that, Sam's hand moved ever so slowly up his side. He slipped it back further around him as he trailed up his ribs, before finally it came to rest at the back of his neck. The angel barely had time to register the touch before Sam was pulling him forwards and joining their lips together. The angle just slightly off so his bottom lip was captured in the middle of Sam's two.
It was only intended to last a few seconds, but as Cas took in a sharp intake of breathe, he tightened his arm around the younger man, securing his body against his. He'd missed him and he'd really fucking missed touching him. Granted it hadn't quite been like this, but he certainly wasn't going to complain.
He could smell Sam this close and the scent was something which could imbed itself into his mind for life. There was something about it, which made the angel incredibly grateful he was already lying down, unsure if his legs would have been able to continue to support his weight.
He closed his eyes and gripped at Sam's shirt, his leg slipping forward to tangle theirs together. Wanting nothing more than every inch of contact he could get.
Sam seemed to take that as welcomed sign to keep going, so he moved his lips slowly, gliding over Cas' at first. The angel did the same in return, his heart beat picking up pace as Sam's teeth captured his bottom lip and ran across it, before biting down every so slightly and pulling.
The angel couldn't help the noise which involuntarily followed. His confusion mounting slightly as he felt Sam smirk against him. Felt his shoulders shake and his cheeks heat up.
The hand on his neck trailed higher, tugging slightly at the ends of his hair. His mouth opened in response and he found himself running his tongue teasingly along Sam's top lip.
He was pretty sure he could hear more than just one heartbeat, could feel Sam's pumping wildly through the thin fabric of their t-shirts.
He whimpered as Sam broke away, the man's hand coming back around to his shoulder to push him onto his back. He certainly didn't protest the movement as his other arm was freed and he was able to wrap it around Sam's neck, pulling him down ontop of him.
Their lips crashed together again, this time with more force and Castiel practically found his insides begging for Sam's teeth to return to his skin. His hands pressing into his back, fingers moving backwards and forwards as if to convey his desire for certain bones to do the same.
Sam seemed to understand what he wanted within seconds, and a gasp worked its way out as the man used a little bit more force than before, a hand running along his side and squeezing at his hips as he did.
It was a groan that came out next as Sam found exactly the right spot to press against, just as he deepened the kiss. Cas' hand ran down Sam's back in response, resting in the dip of his spine and pressing their bodies together. He didn't want space to exist, he just wanted more, more kissing, more touching, more everything.
It was overwhelming and his body felt all too hot but he certainly didn't want to cool it down.
Sam, at this point was pretty sure his own heart was going to combust. He could feel the sweat building up on his skin from their shared heat, his top practically clinging to his stomach. His chest tightening with a level of satisfaction he didn't know possible, every time a sound left the angels lips.
He hadn't expected that.
Hadn't expected the man to be so vocal at something so simple. Though for someone who never experienced those feelings before, he supposed it was to be expected. He did hope that it would be something that never went away though.
It was addicting to hear.
And Cas was just intoxicating.
He pulled away slightly, reluctantly, needing to catch his breath, his shoulders heaving as his lungs once again had to remind him they needed air.
Castiel looked up at him, his eyes darker than he had ever seen then, his grip on him loosening just a fraction.
"I missed you." He said, his voice coming out raspy. Sam could only just manage to nod his head in response. Because, yeah, the feeling was more than mutual. Though even if that was the result of separation, he didn't think he'd like to put himself through that worry again.
"Yes! Father! GOODNIGHT."
They turned their heads to the closed door in union. Sam frowning at his brother's tone as Castiel's eyes narrowed. A door slamming shut reached their ears next, followed by the tell tale signs of someone dropping onto a creaking couch.
"That seemed unnecessarily loud." Cas commented, looking back to Sam. Though anger at least was Dean showing some sort of emotion. He was taken aback however to see the younger man almost freeze on top of him. "Sam?"
The man's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed red as they bunched up. He tried his hardest to suppress it, but the second he looked down at the angel, his whole body started to shake.
"Sam?" Castiel said again, more in alarm this time, as a forehead found its way to his shoulder and the biggest laugh erupted from the body on top of him.
"Oh…. GOD." He choked, rolling of off the angel and on to his back, his hands finding their way to cover his mouth, his head banging back against the pillows.
Castiel raised his eyebrow, reaching over cautiously to pat Sam on the shoulder.
"It's okay? I will take first shift." Because surely now he was worried there was no one to hang around to watch Dean as they slept.
Sam couldn't even bring himself to respond as he shook his head.
Dean was never going to let him live this one down.
Notes: Was that okay? Did it work? I've never written anything like that before XD I'm sorry if it sucked or seemed out of place. Thanks everyone for reading!
