I have never been happier about people saying they hate me, lol. OVER 400! YOU DID IT, LEPRECHAUNS! (or whatever mythological and/or magical creature you wish to be referred to as) You are all incredible! But you don't really hate me, right?

CHAPTER 29

"Die at the same time"

Brittany paced back and forth in the waiting room. Karofsky sat on a chair with his face buried in his hands and waited too. He had brought Sugar to the station but then he hurried back to the hospital to be there for Santana, but mostly for Brittany. Emma had rushed here too, leaving Nathaniel with Noah. Quinn and Rachel were on their way. Mercedes was out of town and Kurt couldn't be reached.

Brittany had called the Lopezes but she hadn't been able to make sense of her words so she had handed the phone to Emma for her to explain instead.

Brittany had so much nervous energy she couldn't be still. With every step she felt a pulsating pain run through her wrist. She had broken it when she slammed the chair against the wall.

When coming to the hospital in the ambulance Santana had been unconscious and they hurried her away from Brittany. Brittany was taken for x-rays and then someone put a cast on her wrist as she nervously fidgeted, eager to get information on Santana.

When Brittany was finally done she rushed to the waiting area in the part of the hospital she was told Santana would be brought to. She was also told to sit tight. That was four hours ago. She had been walking around in this wound up state of her world collapsing for four torturous hours.

In a way, the pain she felt in her wrist was comforting. It was the only thing she could count on right now. Step. Pain. Step. Pain.

Every time she saw a doctor she attacked them with questions about Santana. She harassed the reception and every nurse who came within ten feet of her, but no one would tell her anything. Her mind was racing and it wasn't making any sense. None of it. When her eyes were open the whiteness of the hospital was too bright. When she closed them it was too dark. She had a lump in her throat that wouldn't go away no matter how much she swallowed and she half expected her legs to fail her any second.

Dave reached his hand out and grabbed Brittany when she walked within his rage. He stood up and put his burly arms around her.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I shouldn't have barged in like that!" His voice was weak and on the verge of breaking as he clung to her like a child.

"You saved our lives." Brittany murmured against his shirt, on the very edge of tears herself. They both sought comfort in each other and despite both of them aiming for taking; they were both also giving.

"This is all my fault." Brittany sniffled, shaking her head against Dave's shoulder.

"I should have just snuck up on her quietly…" Dave whispered, staring at the wall behind Brittany.

"It's nobody's fault." Emma interjected with sureness. Her face was emanating something else, though. Something more uncertain. She was rubbing a toothbrush of the armrest with fast strokes that seemed to speed up by the second. Everyone was on the edge of their seats and not knowing what was happening was slowly driving everyone insane.

Brittany felt the urge to argue with Emma's statement but held it back. She pulled away from Dave's hug and started pacing again. She couldn't be still for too long, it was physically impossible. Every five seconds she glanced up at the clock and every time it had never been more than those five seconds. How could time move so incredibly slowly? How could a second be so long? Brittany leaned against a wall and sunk down to sit on the floor even though several chairs were open.

"She has to be okay. She has to be okay. She just has to." She mumbled over and over again, trying to convince herself that if she said it enough it would become true. When the silhouette of a man in white robe grew bigger with each step he took down the hallway Brittany shot to her feet again. She hurried over to him.

"Is she okay? Is Santana okay?" Brittany asked and grabbed the doctor by the wrist.

"Excuse me miss…" He answered and squirmed out of her grip. "…but I don't know who that is." He continued and turned his back to Brittany to talk to a nurse.

Usually she would have been upset that he was being so rude but now she was really only upset about still not having any answers. She has to be okay. She has to be okay. She just has to. Brittany repeated in her mind and backed away from the unhelpful doctor.

"Ms. Pierce?" A female voice said behind her. Startled, Brittany hurriedly turned around and zeroed in on the person who was trying to get her attention.

"Is she okay?" Brittany blurted as if on auto-pilot and eagerly waited for a yes.

"Ms. Lopez is stable. She's lost a lot of blood but she's a fighter. Obviously we'll keep her here for a while, but so far there seems to be no major complications." The doctor said, her words sounding formal but her eyes radiating pity in response to Brittany's tortured ones.

"Can I see her?" Brittany's voice was frail, almost too weak to come out.

"It's immediate family only…" The woman said hesitantly and squirmed uncomfortably as she watched Brittany's shoulders and facial features sink in hopeless despair.

"Please?" Brittany begged.

"I-"

"Her family lives in Ohio. Please don't make her wake up alone." Brittany pleaded and the uncertain frown on the doctor's face smoothed out as she gave one, every so slight, nod. She walked by Brittany's side, guiding the blonde, to the room where Santana was still sedated. It couldn't have been much more than 30 feet but it was the longest walk in the history of the world.

"It could take a while before she returns to consciousness and even when she does, she'll be very tired." The doctor informed gently before opening the door for Brittany.

"I just wanna hold her hand." Brittany murmured, not sure if the doctor even heard her. She stepped inside and approached Santana's hospital bed with slow steps.

Santana looked like sleeping beauty. She was on her back; Santana never sleeps on her back. Her legs were straight; Santana never sleeps with straight legs. Her arms rested along her sides and her hair framed her face and contrasted against the white pillow.

She looked almost lifeless and the thought terrified Brittany to the point where tears started streaming down her face again. For a while she just stood there and cried. She sniffled and calmed herself, comforted by the small heaves of Santana's chest as she breathed.

"Hi." Brittany whispered and dragged a chair closer to the bed to sit down by it.

With her butt on the seat she felt like she was too far away so she stood up again, leaning over Santana. Brittany kissed her cheek. Then her other cheek. Then her forehead and her nose and her chin and each eyelid gingerly.

She looked at the cut on Santana's bottom lip and then she leaned down and kissed her lips, feeling the plump softness mold together with hers perfectly even when unconscious. She kissed each of Santana's fingertips and placed one kiss in each palm.

Brittany let her own fingertips trail up Santana's arms, shoulders and neck. She followed Santana's jaw line and traced the features in her face until she was certain she knew them by heart. Not until Brittany was completely sure that she knew, and could recognize every little detail of Santana, could the blonde relax enough to take a seat on the chair again.

She took Santana's hand, holding it between both her own and then she just watched. It was the most intense thing she had ever seen and she stared, afraid to even blink for second, determined to not miss the exact moment of Santana's awakening. Because she would wake up. She was stable so she would definitely wake up. Any second now…

The seconds didn't pass slowly anymore. Nor did they pass fast. Time didn't even seem to exist. Brittany had no idea how much time had passed, she was completely fixed on Santana. Noting every rise of Santana's chest as she breathed, noting every tiny twitch of Santana's eyelids as she dreamed, and noting no change…

Brittany just sat and held Santana's hand. It had been dark outside when Brittany came into the room but now rays of morning light pierced through the window. Brittany wasn't hungry or thirsty; she barely even felt her own body.

The only times she left Santana's side was to go to the bathroom and she always hurried back, hoping that maybe the pot would have started boiling when she wasn't watching, but Santana was still deep in slumber after every return.

Nurses came and went. Doctors looked at her file, scrunched their noses and left. Emma popped her head in, announcing that she was going home to feed Nathaniel but that she wanted a call if there were any changes. Dave popped his head in to let Brittany know he had to go to work but he would return immediately after his shift. Quinn and Rachel tried to make contact with Brittany but couldn't get a single word out of her.

It all went by in a blur; their voices were just murmur that Brittany didn't really listen to. Their shapes were just hazy silhouettes that Brittany didn't focus on. Without Santana the world was nothing but a blur.

It was getting dark again already but Brittany was still by Santana's side. She was feeling her body getting heavier and her eyes more tired but she pushed it away. She also tried to push away the nervous fear caused by Santana still not opening her eyes, but the hope she had felt twenty-four hours ago was burning out.

"Hey…" Emma's voice said softly, trying to not startle the blonde with her presence.

"I brought you back a sandwich and a soda… you should eat something, Brittany." Emma continued when she wasn't greeted back and put the snacks on the table next to Santana's bed. She put one hand on Brittany's shoulder and hugged it tight for some consolation.

Emma was freaking out inside but she pulled herself together. She felt she needed to be strong for Brittany. With a couple more pained glances at Santana and a few more squeezes on Brittany shoulders Emma got ready to exit again.

"What's happening? Why won't she wake up?" Brittany asked quietly. It had been so long since she last spoke that at first she didn't even recognize her own weak voice. The questions stopped Emma on her way to the door. She sighed deeply.

"I don't know, sweetheart." Emma said gently and walked around the bed to the opposite side of the one Brittany was sitting on. Brittany lifted her gaze and actually looked at something other than Santana for the first time in over a day. Emma's golden brown eyes didn't offer as much comfort as Emma wanted them to, since they were on the verge of tears, but she smiled faintly at the blonde.

"Doesn't she know how much I miss her?" Brittany asked, not sure of whom she was asking.

"She knows." Emma ensured with a nod and pursed her lips to stop herself from crying.

"She needs to come back. I need her to come back to me." Brittany said running her hands through her hair in frustration and leaning back in the chair with a thud. Emma flinched at the sound and wiped one hand under her eye.

"I know. She will…" Emma wasn't sure how convincing her voice was anymore and she put her hand over mouth and sobbed into it quietly. She sniffled and composed herself.

"I'll go talk to a doctor." Emma said quietly and hurried out of the room with fast steps. Brittany turned her head back to Santana. She was still not awake. Brittany looked at the sandwich and then she grabbed it. Her stomach was growling by now. When removing the saran wrap she noticed how shaky her hands were.

She chewed the bread and gulped the soda all the while still staring at Santana. Feeling full, Brittany got even more tired and rested her head against the bed, squishing the side of her face slightly.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up." She mumbled stubbornly while drifting off to sleep herself. Brittany didn't even realize she was sleeping because she was dreaming about reality. Her dream looked just like the room she was sleeping in and Santana looked exactly the same as she had for hour after hour now. A second in the dream was a second in reality.

Then Brittany awoke with a startle, and her heart skipped a beat as she felt a hand stroke away hair from her face. Her eyes shot open and she was met the brown orbs she never wanted to go a day without seeing ever again.

"Scared ya." Santana said in an attempt to joke and drew a lazy smile. Brittany started to cry.

"You did, you really did. Oh my God, I was so worried. Don't ever do that again. I was so scared you wouldn't wake up. I can't live without you, please Santana, don't do that ever, ever, ever never again…-" Brittany pleaded with big crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks, and Santana focused her energy to form worried frown. She needed to comfort her girlfriend. With great effort she lifted to hand to hug Brittany's cheek but with Brittany having lifted her head she was too far away.

"Shh, baby. I'm sorry. C'mere." Santana said gingerly. Brittany dove her face closer and let Santana support her heavy hand against her cheek.

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere." Santana repeated and drew Brittany's face closer until their lips touched. Brittany kissed them hurriedly, like it was her last chance, all the while her salty tears were dripping on Santana's face.

"I'm so sorry." Santana murmured against Brittany's lips. She knew she couldn't really help it, but she still felt terrible about scaring Brittany like that. Brittany shook her head in the kiss to let Santana know she had nothing to feel guilty about.

"It's all my fault." Brittany argued, lifting her hands to touch Santana's face to make sure she was real.

"It's not your fault." Santana ensured but this time Brittany couldn't help but protest.

"I'm the one who got involved with Sugar. I'm the one who pissed her off. I'm the one she wanted to hurt. I'm the one who should be in this bed." Brittany blurted and her stomach ached just thinking about her role in this.

"Do you know how happy I am that you're not in this bed right now?" Santana asked and raised her eyebrows.

"It's not funny, Santana-"

"I'm not kidding! I don't know what I would have done if she had gotten you instead…" Santana said and had tears building up in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Santana. I'm so sorry."

"Brittany, look at me." Santana said and her eyes flickered as she tried to capture Brittany's blue eyes with her stare.

"I'm fine!" She said, but it came out a little too loudly, making her abs attempt to tighten and Santana winced and the pain it caused even through the painkillers.

Brittany's eyes shot to Santana's stomach and the Latina received a worried frown since her body screamed the opposite of her words. She tugged on Brittany's cheek, forcing the blonde to look in her eyes again.

"I'm fine." She said again, this time not letting anything interfere with her sureness.

"Are you sure?" Brittany asked gingerly and Santana nodded and smiled warmly. Brittany sat herself down in the chair and stared blankly.

"You're fine. You're fine. It's gonna be fine." Brittany murmured softly, not sure if she was trying to convince herself, or Santana, or the world.

"Get off that stupid chair." Santana said firmly. Brittany looked at her with questioning, hesitant eyes. Santana wanted to scoot over to give Brittany more room but she didn't have that much energy, nor was she sure it could be done without hurting so she just tapped the mattress to signal for Brittany to lie next to her. She needed Brittany close.

Still looking hesitant, Brittany climbed on the bed. She was pretty sure she would get scolded if a nurse came in, but she wanted nothing more than to feel Santana's warm body press against her. Brittany was super gentle as she rested her body on the mattress. She inspected Santana's face to see if she caused any pain and she was careful to not put pressure on, or even at all touch, Santana's stomach. Slowly, she lowered her arm to drape it over Santana's hips.

"Is this okay?" Brittany asked softly.

"That's perfect." Santana answered and kissed the top of Brittany's head. They took a moment to just be. Santana felt a little light headed and her eyes were heavy.

"I'm gonna go back to sleep now." Santana whispered quietly, half hoping Brittany had already fallen asleep. Brittany lifted her head.

"Oh, do you need me to-"

"Please stay." Santana interrupted and Brittany immediately obliged and rested her head on Santana's shoulder again.

"We're gonna grow old together." Brittany said matter of factly.

"And die at the same time." Santana filled in.

"I really, really love you, San." Brittany murmured, finally feeling the relief of having Santana back again.

"I know, B. I really, really love you too."


A pinch of credit must be given to the song To Lose My Life by White Lies.