Amanda would be rattled, not really herself, for a couple of weeks. Of course she had to leave statement of what happen during the undercover operation and then a trial followed not long after. Barba was prosecuting so of course it all went well. All six men would get sentenced. Jeff and Lance got tougher sentences since they had the added gun violation, firing at law enforcement and abducting and holding of a police officer. She would need some physiotherapy to get her shoulder back in shape and of course obligatory counseling.

Things between Amanda and Fin went on like normal for a while though. They didn't talk about what had happen and Fin didn't bring up that he felt something was different between them. He was hoping that whatever it was troubling Amanda would just go away and they would get back to what they had. But it didn't.

The universe has a way to sometimes pick up what you send out there and actually bring it to you. Amanda had come across this particular wonder a few times before without really noticing it. There was the longing to get away from home and then a scholarship for college being offered. Of course talent and hard work had a little to do with that too but she'd been wishing for something to happen that whole last year in high school as things at home got unbearable. Then it had been the wish for a new job somewhere, anywhere, after that chief of police business. She'd sent it out there and the universe, with a little bit of help by Sam, had made that come true. A perfect new apartment had come to her, and Fay, when she needed it the most.

And during the summer something Amanda wished so dearly for would fall in her lap. Or the other way around perhaps since she was the one that literary landed in his. The book circle had been mostly slumbering for Amanda these last couple of years. She'd just been so busy with Fay and enjoying being her mom it hadn't left much time to sit around and talk about a book for a few hours every other week. She'd brought Fay a couple of times though but found herself more interested in reading children's books with her on the side. But she'd kept in contact with a few friends she'd met there though. There was especially one she really liked and tried to see ever so often since she brought fun and laughter to Amanda's life.

Gayle was fifteen years her senior but felt younger. She had such a youthful breeze about her. She had a grown-up son that she had a little too young, still had great contact with but that had moved to South America for volunteer work. She'd never married, had a huge place not far from Amanda, a job that made her have to socialize a lot and travel some. She had loads of friends and always had some story to share about a fancy party and some celebrity that caused a scene at it. Amanda wasn't sure why she liked having dinner or at least a coffee with her every month. But she didn't complain. She loved Gayle and all her glam stories and whirlwind affairs. She secretly wished she could be a little more like Gayle.

Gayle was a very generous person. And not just with money but also with advice and telling people what she loved about them. Amanda felt as though Gayle tried to help her come out of her shell a little and even though Amanda felt as though she let Gayle down every time Gayle still didn't seem to give up on her. So Gayle kept trying to get her to expand her wardrobe a little, to come with her to a party or two and ask that cute waiter for his number. Amanda was astounded with how much Gayle seemed to be able to fit into a day. With everything else going on in her life – work, travel, parties, dating, socializing – she still managed to visit the book circle most weeks.

Gayle also thought she was the best matchmaker and about a year ago had declared Amanda her toughest case to date. Gayle knew about as much as everyone else about Amanda's love life but she never probed either. She'd just basically asked if she was hitched and when the answer was no she'd been set on finding someone for Amanda. So Amanda was used to hearing Gayle say she'd find the perfect candidate for her and every time Amanda had found a reason to not hook up with him. Gayle still didn't give up and when she called early July it was to tell her she'd found the man for her.

For once Amanda didn't blow her off immediately and when Gayle told her to come to the next book circle so she could tell her all about him Amanda unexpectedly said yes. Gayle had shrieked a little over the phone which had made Amanda laugh. The last thing Gayle said was that Amanda would drop dead once she met him. Amanda chuckled and told Gayle to hold her horses since she hadn't said yes to meet him yet. What she didn't know was that Gayle had already invited him to the book circle. She had enough of Amanda's dodging and took matter into her own hands.

Gayle's strategy was probably the best because Amanda might not have shown up had she known. Even though she'd opened her mind to looking around she wasn't sure she was ready and found every excuse in the book every time a potential candidate came her way. It was the same thing she'd done the last couple of years and she was getting annoyed with herself. She decided she would really listen to Gayle tonight and she left Fay with Eva and the boys so she wouldn't get distracted.

She arrived a little early as usual, and as usual Gayle was running a little late. She'd just texted Amanda and it was the text that made Amanda miss a stack of books on the floor in the entrance to the book store. She stumbled and might have stayed on her feet if a man hadn't just appeared from the other side and in her attempt to not trip him too she fell to the ground. He, in his turn, had tried to save her from falling and managed to of course trip as he reached for her. So there they were, at each other's feet.

The first thing he saw of her, well except for a whirlwind of blond locks and a pair of tight jeans crashing towards him, was a bright smile as she stroke away hair from her face where she sat on the floor next to him. For some reason he didn't immediately come up with something to say which he usually did. He was known as a talker. Instead he just watched her. She shook her head, still with that smile on her face but it grew shy as her cheeks turned red.

"I'm so sorry," she said and truly was but couldn't wipe the smile of her face for some reason.
"Did I hurt you?" she asked and got up on her knees. He reached for her phone as he got up and they started to stack the books back up that she'd spread out over the floor as she tripped.
"I'm fine," he said meanwhile.
"You?" he asked once the books were gathered and they rose up. For the first time they stood eye to eye, the first time she truly noticed what kind, brown eyes he had. She just gave him a smile that told him she was okay. He handed her the phone and she shook her head again with a slight chuckle.
"I knew texting while driving was bad but texting while walking…" she said and it made him smile. He had a cute smile she noticed.
"Again, I'm so sorry," she said and walked away before she made an even more complete ass of herself. He wanted to say something but his tongue was stuck. He felt happy though since he'd seen the book she'd been carrying, it was the same one he had in his hand. So he figured he might get another chance to talk to her during the book circle.

Amanda felt like the biggest klutz as she walked away from him. She felt a bit relieved he'd seemed to be walking out of there. She saw that the chairs in the back were still free and she went to sit there knowing Gayle liked them the best. Amanda got a few hi's and nods from people that recognized her. An elderly woman asked her how that precious daughter of hers was doing and Amanda told her just fine and showed her a photo in her phone when she asked to see one. The chairs soon filled up but Amanda kept the seat next to her free for when Gayle would rush in like she always did at the very last minute.

Surely a minute past, just as the circle leader had welcomed everyone, Gayle stumbled in with the book tight to her chest and breath caught in her throat. She wore a spectacular, perfectly suited dress and her wild brownish locks were wild and only tamed by the sunglasses on the top of her head. She excused herself as she made her way over to Amanda, who she'd spotted immediately and it had brighten up her already bright face. She gave Amanda a hug as she sat down and gave her that look that told Amanda 'can you believe I'm late again?'. Amanda listen to the circle leader as she waited for Gayle to say something, she always whispered during, but she seemed to be scanning the room for someone.

After the circle leader had gone through some basics of the book she left the floor open for discussion and it didn't take long until the first major plotline in the book were brought up for discussion. Amanda had read the book but didn't find it all that good and had to admit she was mostly there to see Gayle. Okay, and hear about this perfect mate for her. Even though Gayle seemed distracted she still managed to add into the discussion the circle was having. Amanda was in awe for this woman. She managed everything and look good doing it.

While contributing to the discussion Gayle managed to quiz Amanda about how she was doing, if Fay was still as adorable and tell Amanda about her trip last week to New Orleans. She'd hooked up with some sax player and Amanda blushed once she was done telling her about their sexcapades.

"Anyway, I can see some escapades in your future too my dear. I tell you, this guy is perfect for you," Gayle whispered. Amanda shook her head with a smile.
"Well you don't have to take my word for it," Gayle whispered, "you can make up your own mind." Amanda gave her a questionable look and Gayle raised her brows at her.
"Yes, he's here," she said. Amanda felt a bit of panic, tried to hide it from her face but didn't do such a good job as Gayle looked at her with a miserable look.
"I will just never get why love scares you so much," Gayle said as she put a hand on Amanda's arm and in the next second raised her hand to butt into the discussion they were just having about the two main characters relationship.

"But wasn't it obvious she just wasn't ready?" Gayle said before anyone even acknowledged her raised hand. This statement caused a bit of a stir amongst the others since they'd obviously not read it that way.
"I can't believe you set me up," Amanda whispered as Gayle looked back to her.
"Don't worry, he doesn't know about you yet," Gayle let her know, "I'll introduce you in the break and if you like him I'll spill everything I got on him. And believe me you will want me to." Gayle gave her a cheeky smile and then butted into the book discussion again.
"I still say he pushed her to do it," she said and again caused a stir in the gathered group.

Amanda hadn't been able to concentrate one bit on the discussion after that as a large part of her brain told her to get out of there, to run while she could. She managed to talk herself down though even if the greatest reason for not running right now was that she would cause a scene if she tried to get through all these people and chairs. And as Gayle felt her nerves she grabbed her hand as the circle leader told them it was time to take a break and they were most welcome to talk amongst themselves about the book during it. She pulled her up and intended to move them over to the coffee area but Amanda planted her feet and refused to move.

"I'm not dressed," Amanda said quietly as Gayle looked back. She didn't let go of Amanda's hand. Gayle looked her up and down with a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, dressed but not dressed for Mr Right," Amanda sighed. Gayle gave her a serious look and then took a step closer as she brought Amanda's hand up to her chest.
"You're always stunning Amanda," she said and squeezed her hand. Amanda felt her cheeks burn.
"And he doesn't care about such things anyway," she added, turned and dragged Amanda with her.
"Oh great, he's a slob," Amanda complained and got an amused smile from Gayle. Amanda had to focus on not stepping on people as Gayle forced them through the crowd. When she looked up though she saw Gayle put her tapping finger on a shoulder with a very familiar shirt. Amanda knew which kind brown eyes she would see once he turned around.

"Ryan," Gayle chirped, "so happy to see you again." Gayle gave him a hug once he spotted her and gave her a smile. She held on to Amanda's hand the whole time though, maybe anticipating she would try and make a break for it.
"There's someone I'd like you to meet," Gayle quickly said as she let him go and then she turned to Amanda and pulled her forward a bit.
"Amanda this is Ryan. Ryan meet Amanda," Gayle gestured between them and Amanda grabbed Ryan's extended hand with a smile that couldn't be described as anything but sheepish. This was the guy she'd tripped over earlier and standing face to face with him again, in this predicament, made her want to die a little. Amanda's perfect mate, according to Gayle, was the same man who must think of Amanda as the biggest klutz he'd met today. Well depending on what job he had of course. If she was lucky he spent the day around clowns and that might not make her seem too bad in his eyes.

"Amanda's been a bit of a no-show at these gathering the last couple of years. She got shot, had a kid, she's a cop so don't worry." It all came gushing out of Gayle's mouth and Amanda just thought 'oh great, a klutz with baggage' as she imagined what Ryan thought of her now.
"I met Ryan a couple of weeks ago when he did some web design work for my firm. When I found out he lives in the area, and likes to read, I just told him he had to come," Gayle turned to Amanda but then turned back to Ryan as she continued; "Amanda's a bit of a computer whiz herself, she helped me set up my computer at home." Amanda couldn't see this going any worse. If he worked with computer he would not find it skillful to just set up a computer. Amanda just wanted to get out of there now. But he did still smile and his eyes didn't seem to find either her or Gayle to be total goofballs.

"Oh so yes I need some coffee. These book discussions are always so inspiring. Amanda?" Gayle took the few steps that were left to reach the table with coffee thermos set up for the participants when Amanda shook her head as in 'I don't want anything'. She was left with Ryan for a little while, he had a cup of coffee in his hand. She gave him a shy smile and got a smile back. She couldn't tell much from his eyes though. They were just kind but she figured that could still mean he though she was a complete loser.

Gayle quickly came back with a coffee in her hand and a napkin with a cookie in the other one.
"So how do you find the book circle Ryan?" Gayle asked but before he could answer she'd turned to Amanda and continued; "He was here for the first time two weeks ago. Then it was 'Life of Pi' by Yann Martel. Such a brilliant book. Don't you think Ryan?" She turned back and at least this time Ryan had a chance to nod in agreement.
"I'm still waiting for the next book, I ordered it a week ago but it still hasn't arrived. I better call and make sure it's on its way. You're coming then too right Ryan?" He nodded.

"Amanda? You have to start getting out more. Bring the kid. She's adorable," that last part was directed at Ryan. Shameful sell-in technique.
"You have time for a coffee afterwards Ryan? They have the best coffee next door. Why don't we all sit down afterwards okay?" Amanda hesitated but to her surprise Ryan nodded and actually didn't look as though he felt forced to.
"Amanda? Coffee afterwards?" Gayle asked and got a little overly excited when Amanda nodded.

The book circle leader dinged her tiny bell and Gayle grabbed Amanda's hand again.
"See you afterwards then," Gayle smiled at Ryan and then dragged Amanda with her back to their seats. She'd managed to consume her cookie somewhere in-between all the talking but brought her coffee with her back to her seat.
"So, wasn't he a looker?" Gayle immediately asked once they got seated. Amanda rolled her eyes at her a little.
"Oh common, tell me. What did you think of him?"
"Okay he looks good but that doesn't count for everything, not in my, no pun intended, book at least," Amanda told her.

"So what do you want to know? He's born a year ahead of you, he's a web designer, you love computers too, he got money, he's from White Plains, his parents still lives there, he sees them often, he knows Mark Zuckerberg." Amanda couldn't help but laugh a little as Gayle obviously tried to sell him in to her. Gayle could have continued but got interrupted as the book circle picked up its discussion and Gayle had something to add to it again. Amanda couldn't focus on anything other than the fact she'd have coffee with a pair of kind, brown eyes that probably thought she was a loon when this was over.

"We'll meet you next door," Gayle hollered to Ryan when the group was done and Amanda said she needed the bathroom. Gayle went with her like a prison guard and stayed by the mirror and added to her lip-gloss while Amanda used the toilet.
"Everything will go splendidly, don't you worry," Gayle said through the stall door, "he's so easy to talk to and with such a positive outlook on everything. That will be perfect for that pessimistic flare you have going."
"Thanks," Amanda said with a hint of irony as she came outside buckling her belt.
"You know I love you," Gayle said and sent her a kiss through the mirror. Amanda couldn't hide her smile and walked to her side to wash her hands.
"You can't tell me he isn't easy on the eyes though," Gayle said and sparkled her eyes towards Amanda. Amanda's smile grew a little and it was all Gayle needed to gloat.
"I still got it. Matchmaking queen I tell you, it should have been my profession."

They walked over to the coffee bar and spotted Ryan quickly. He had the book out and seemed to skim through the pages a little. Gayle somehow pushed Amanda down on a chair but then remain standing herself.
"I am truly so sorry but I have to dash. I just got a call and there's this thing I just have to do before morning comes." Amanda couldn't believe her ears, Gayle was leaving her stranded on her own with Ryan.
"I'll see you in two weeks Ryan? Rain check, we'll all do coffee again?" Ryan didn't even have time to give her a nod before she'd bent down to kiss Amanda's cheeks.
"You'll be fine," she whispered close to Amanda's ear as she felt Amanda's tense hand in her own. She kissed her cheek and then the other one.
"Call you tomorrow darling," Gayle smiled and was out of there. Amanda kept gazing after her long after the door had already closed. This was not happening she thought to herself. She realized she had to look at him at some point or another and she turned her head with a panicked smile on her face.

"Why do I get the sense we were set up here?" Ryan smiled though and Amanda could breathe.
"I sense that too," she said, "I had nothing to do with it though." She added the last part rather quickly and could see Ryan's smile grow wider.
"I haven't known Gayle for long but I do get a sense she rather much control this entire universe," Ryan said and it made Amanda chuckle. She nodded.
"I think you might be right," she said and nervously stroked some hair behind her ear as she grew a little self conscious. She straighten her shirt a little as she tried to sit up in her chair.
"Well I don't mind coffee, do you still like to have one?" Ryan asked. Amanda quickly scanned the place and then nodded.
"Sure, I love coffee."

A girl behind the counter came to them as Ryan gestured and she took their orders. There was a slight awkward silence for a while after she'd left. Ryan still couldn't understand why he had such a problem with talking to this woman.
"So, the book circle," he tried, "what did you think of the book?" He figured it would be a safe topic to start with. Amanda shot a look at their books that were both placed at the table.
"I have to tell ya," she started, "I didn't really like it to be honest."
"Thank God," Ryan spat out and Amanda shot him an amused look.
"I'm sorry but I thought I was the only odd one out in that group, I just did not get that book at all. It's on the top seller list?"
"I know," Amanda mused. Their coffee came and they paid her to get it over with. Amanda let her coffee sit for a while and told herself not to make a sound once she tasted it.

They went back to a bit of an awkward silence as he checked his coffee but decided to let it sit for a while too. She looked passed him and his face lit up with a bit of an awkward smile. There were so many things he wanted to ask and know about this woman in front of him but he couldn't for dear life form a sensible question right now. He knew he had to though or this would become the first and last coffee he'd have with her.

"So I hope you don't mind me asking but I'm picking up a bit of an accent?" He thread lightly, hoping she wouldn't take offence. She nodded.
"I'm from Georgia," she let him know.
"Oh. Have to admit I've never been though," he confessed, "Came close once. I like to do hiking and rafting and one summer we went to Hickory knob?"
"Ah South Carolina, yeah the state park. I've been. It's nice there," Amanda smiled.
"You like hiking too? Or rafting?"
"Hiking mostly. I like rafting but haven't done it as much."
"Cool," Ryan said and turned his coffee mug around. He couldn't believe his luck, she liked hiking.

"So where in Georgia are you from?"
"Loganville. It's east of Atlanta, about 30 miles," Amanda let him know.
"But you've been in New York long?"
"I don't know, it's my sixth year, not that long I guess. You from here?" Amanda asked and pretended she didn't know.
"White Plains, up north New York," he said.
"Never been there either," she shot him a shy smile and then tried her coffee. It had cooled off some and she had a taste without making any sounds. Ryan followed her example.

"So you don't make the book club much these days?"
"Not as much as I'd like I'm afraid," Amanda answered and appreciated him trying to get the conversation going again.
"Book clubs big in Georgia too?"
"I actually don't know. I'd never thought of it before I moved here, I started to just meet people I guess. I had no friends at all here when I moved up. I saw a sign and I like to read so I just went."
"And you met Gayle?"
"I met Gayle," Amanda chuckled but bit her tongue before she got too loud.

"You met her through work?" Amanda asked and he nodded as he put his cup down. She gave him time to swallow.
"Yeah I helped out with some web ideas for her firm and then she had me do some work for some of her clients and we had a few work lunches with them. She's quite a woman," Ryan said and tried to now sound inappropriate.
"She's fantastic. But did you ever fully understand what her firm does?" Amanda asked and it made Ryan laugh.
"No not really," he admitted once he settled down.

"Web designer eh? What you set out to be or?"
"Yeah actually, at least rather early on. Computers were the way to go I was told and while studying I branched towards web design since it let me be creative. I'd never been good with a regular pen and paper but with a computer I could color inside the lines and I really liked it," he gave her the most adorable smile and she had to clamp her lips shut to not smile too much. He went on about his studies and work a little and then went on to ask about her work. She gave him a little but not too much seeing how grim her work was in comparison to his. And she wasn't sure how he felt about female cops. From what she got he didn't seem repulsed at least.

"Gayle said you got shot?" he asked carefully. He'd been curious about that.
"Yeah but it was a long time ago, like more than four years ago," Amanda said and had the last of her coffee.
"Badly shot? I mean… well I guess it's always bad when you get shot but," he had trouble getting out of it and Amanda jumped it.
"I get it. And yeah I guess it was pretty bad. But I'm still here," she said and tried a smile.
"I'm glad," he said. He got saved by a customer that dropped his newly ordered drink and the commotion made them both look over to the counter.

"Well I better head home, my kid's waiting," Amanda said and stirred a bit.
"Yeah. Of course. Boy or girl?" he asked as he put his book down in his back pack on the floor.
"Girl," Amanda said as she got up to throw her empty cup in the trash.
"How old?" he asked once he joined her to throw his away too.
"Three. Four later this year," she let him know as they exited.
"Fun age?" he asked and she nodded.

"Okay, so you think you'll be at this thing in two weeks?" he asked and gestured to the book store.
"I'll try, I've read the book already actually. When it came out last year. I'll skim through it again. It's definitely better than this week's," she said and tried to sound a bit easy-going. She thought she failed miserable and placed her hands in her back pockets to keep her from being fidgety.
"Yeah? Good, I haven't had time to start yet but I will. I really liked the book before this one, Life of Pi."
"I've only seen the movie," Amanda admitted and Ryan chuckled.
"I only had too before the book circle," he answered. There was a silent pause.

"Well I won't keep you but if you do make it would you like to have coffee afterwards? With or without Gayle?" It was Amanda's turn to chuckle slightly.
"Yeah sure," she said once she realized she had to answer him too.
"Cool. Well just in case, if job or life hinders you to get here that particular day, why don't you take my card. Send me a text or something if you can't make it and we can have coffee some other day and talk about the book just the two of us," he got his back pack to his front and got a card out. He got a pen up quickly and circled his number on the card before he handed it to her.
"Sure," she said and looked the card over quickly. It was one of the coolest she'd seen but kept it to herself. She brought it back in her back pocket and turned on her heel a little.
"Well bye then," she smiled.
"Bye. Thanks for the…" he just gestured towards the coffee bar that they'd just left. She just nodded and gave him a smile before she turned completely. She took her hands out of her back pockets and tried to walk normal. She felt like looking back but didn't, fearing he'd look or that he wouldn't still be looking. Either way would just put trolls in her head so she just kept walking.

Two weeks went so fast, Amanda wasn't sure if it was a blessing or not as she felt nervous about seeing him again. Gayle had of course called the next day and inquired about their sit-down. Amanda had to tell her Ryan seemed really nice but wouldn't give Gayle 'perfect mate' just yet. Amanda told her she had to stay for coffee after next book circle but Gayle told her to get back to her when she was ready for a double date at this new romantic restaurant she'd just read about. Amanda asked if Gayle had someone special for herself in mind. Gayle just answered 'anyone can be special for a night'.

Amanda caught herself debating over what to wear for the book circle and had to laugh at herself. She was jumping the gun. Several of them. It was just book circle and a coffee she told herself. She still made sure she didn't have any spots on her shirt and after having run her hands through her hair a couple of times and found it lifeless she just got it up in a sloppy bun and then headed out of there. She'd thought about bringing Fay but decided to let her stay at Johnny's instead, she had more fun there. Ryan arrived at the same time as she did and said something about perfect timing as he held the door open for her. He asked if it was okay if he sat in the back with them tonight and of course Amanda said fine. They saved a seat for Gayle who came a minute early actually.

"My two favorite book circle people," she mused as she pushed herself towards them. She gave Amanda a hug and two kisses and then gave Ryan a hug and a single kiss on one cheek.
"This will be interesting," she said as she sat down. Amanda wasn't sure what she was aiming at as Gayle gave her a wink before she sat back in her chair.

Gayle would excuse herself after the book circle and again ask for a rain check or perhaps they could have dinner one night she suggested. Ryan said maybe and Gayle settled with that thankfully. Amanda and Ryan headed next doors, ordered coffee and then had a seat. They talked a little about the book they'd just read but then Ryan steered the conversation over to other things and quizzed her a little about which places she'd been hiking at. She gave him a few mountains and he had been to at least two that she mentioned. They compared their experiences and then she found out he also was an avid runner. He'd lost his running mate though when he moved out of state earlier this year and Ryan committed to being a bit lazy with the running lately. He didn't think it was as much fun running alone. Amanda had never had a problem running alone but thought it just as enjoyable with someone. She was the one that suggested they might try and run together and he wasn't late to really like the idea.

They talked a bit more. She learnt he had an older brother and a younger sister. His brother was also in the city and they saw each other rather often. He went home at least every other weekend to see his folks and he spoke with his mom at least twice a week. He of course asked about her family and she tried to give him as little as possible without making it seem like she hid something from him. Her family would not screw this up. Growing up and while in Atlanta her family and the family name had always tainted her in a way and once she moved to New York she'd decided that was in the past. Kim had of course brought some drama but at least no one here knew from a get go that her dad was a drunk, her mom the local bitch and her sister the troublemaker.

Again Amanda had to be the one to break the coffee date up but Ryan suggested they'd meet for a run the following day. If she was able to get a babysitter with that short notice though he added and just him thinking of it made her really want to try. She knew Eva wouldn't have a problem with it but Amanda told him she would text him in the morning and let him know. Excellent was his short and sweat response. They walked a block since apparently he lived that way too and then they said their goodbyes at the corner. He'd wanted to walk her to her door to make sure she got home alright but he figured she might, being a cop and all, think he was being silly. They'd also talked earlier a little about the strains of being a female in the police department so he knew her thoughts on equality between the genders. One day, one day soon, though he thought as he watched her walk away.

When she picked Fay up from Eva's she asked if she could take her for just an hour or two the next night as well. Eva said of course but then probed a little, she could tell something was up. Amanda couldn't keep it a secret and told Eva that she'd met someone, it wasn't anything serious yet but he was kinda wonderful from what she'd seen so far. She kept Fin in the dark about the jogging date though. She texted Ryan early the next morning and told him everything was set to go later if he was still up for it. She had to wait almost until 9 am until he finally texted her back. "Up for it but scared I'll be outrun by a girl ;) Text me where to be & when & I'll be in starting blocks waiting. XO Ryan." The text made Amanda chuckle and Fin shot her a look over the desk. She noticed it and quickly put her phone down, shot him a smile and kept working on the paperwork in front of her.

Amanda left Fay at Eva's to watch some TV with Johnny while she was out running. Ryan was waiting at the spot she'd texted earlier. She'd deliberately chosen a spot a block away from where she actually lived. She dared to give him a quick hug as she walked up to him. He looked very sharp in his running outfit. A tee and shorts of brands she recognized. She noticed he had this new kind of running shoes on that she'd read about on some jogging blog and asked him about them as they started to walk down the street. She learnt he had a friend that had a sporting goods store downtown that was about to start selling them. He'd hook her up if she wanted too and she gladly accepted. She took them across the street to where she usually started running and then she took the lead as they got going.

She tried to keep a good pace so neither of them would get too winded and they could talk some during the jog. They mostly just mentioned races they'd run and where to find good running paths. They were aiming for a six mile long path she usually ran but they took a few stops along the way. A water break first and later at this beautiful spot where you had an amazing view of the river they stopped to stretch a little. His leg started cramping once they picked up the pace the last half mile from her home and they came to a quick halt. He tried to shake it off but his face told her it didn't ease much.

"Have a seat," she said as she saw a bench nearby.
"Let me," she said and squatted down in front of him. She grabbed a hold of his bare calf with both hands and pushed her fingers as hard as she dared to along his muscles on the back and then downwards. She repeated the procedure another time and watched his face as the pain seemed to ease.
"Massage much?" he smiled as it seemed to let go. It made her chuckle since that was her line. She was the one that added 'much' to sentences to be a bit witty and she couldn't believe he used it too. She looked down as she shook her head a little.
"I had this trouble myself a few years ago and this seemed to ease it for me so," she said as she kept going a few more times.
"All gone?" she asked after the fifth time and he nodded with a big grin on his face. She came up and sat next to him. She wiped her hands on her tights to get rid of some of his sweat. Not that she minded, he had awesome leg muscles she'd concluded.
"I usually never get cramps," he said as he watched her have a drink of water from her belt.
"I'm lucky you were around," he said and she hoped that her already flushed face didn't give away her blushing. They sat there and caught their breaths for a while.

"You have to hurry back upstairs or do you have time for a beverage or something?" he then asked and she thought it through quickly.
"No I'm sure she's fine for another half an hour or so," she said and Ryan looked pleased.
"You know a place nearby?"
"Yeah, there's this place like a block away, they have juice and smoothies and stuff."
"Perfect," he smiled and held his hand to her lower back as they both got up from the bench.
"Doing okay there," she asked and looked down on his leg as he limp a bit the first few steps.
"Perfectly fine thanks to you," he winked and shot her a playful smile.

If he'd looked handsome the other night he looked even more so right now. With the sweat in his forehead and the wind that had played in his hair. She liked what she saw so much she had to look away. A thought of Fin went through her mind and she tried to push it away quickly. He held up the door for her as they reached their goal. A man was ordering at the desk but no one sat by the tables.

"Do you have any recommendations?" he asked her as they watched the big menu at the wall above the cashier. She pointed to the refreshing beverages and said:
"The very berry pomegranate is my favorite," she said and for some reason felt embarrassed to tell him.
"Sounds very berry and perfect," he smiled as the man before them went towards the exit and Ryan stepped up to the cashier.

"Hi, can I have two very berry pomegranates please?" he already had his card up and she let him pay for them both.
"We'll be over there," Ryan said with some urban presence over him and Amanda went over to the table he had gestured towards. Ryan had nicked a bunch of napkins from the desk that he put on the table as they both got up on the high chairs.

"It's not a major problem but I do sweat some," he confessed as he took a few napkins and put them to the back of his neck.
"Who doesn't," she smiled and took some herself. The whipping didn't kill the entire time until the cashier came over with their beverages and some awkward silence crept in between them. It was that kind of awkward silence though when the tiny butterflies had time to fly through your stomach and you couldn't keep from throwing a few glances across to whoever you shared that awkward time with. She got caught looking, or maybe it was the other way around, just before the cashier came over and it made them both a bit of a giggling mess as they got company. They both still managed to thank the guy though before he left.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said: "I just didn't know what to say. I wanted to give you a compliment on how good you're looking right now but all I could come up with was 'you look good sweating' which didn't seem appropriate at all." His confession made her chuckle and she put her hand over her mouth as that deep laughter came out.
"Don't," he said quickly: "I love your laughter." She bit her lip as she removed her hand. Two compliments in a row and two very sweet compliments. 'What had she done to deserve this guy?' she thought to herself and went for her cup to block some of her face with it in case the flattery was showing on her cheeks.

"I hope you like it as much as I do," she said before she put her lips to the straw.
"It looks really delicious," he said and picked up his cup and had a try. She kept the straw in her mouth as she waited for an evaluation. His face changed to look even more positive as the red liquid reached his mouth.
"Very nice," he said as he let go of the straw and wiped his lip with his finger.
"Not too sweet?" she asked and he shook his head as he took another zip.
"Perfect after a run like this," he smiled when he was done and put the cup down.
"Glad you like it," she smiled back. She liked that he'd wanted to try her favorite taste, Fin would just never do that. He'd go with what he liked and he said smoothies were for sissies.

"So you come here often?" she nodded at Ryan's question.
"Yeah we do, especially during the summer. They have great iced tea."
"Ah, a reminiscing from back home?"
"Yeah I guess."
"You miss Atlanta?" he asked but she quickly shook her head.
"Nothing but iced tea?" he asked with a smile.
"Well sure I miss some friends and people I worked with on the force there but I have the memories with me wherever I go and I have the best parts of my life here in New York now," she was honest, didn't really think before she talked.
"Fay being the very best part I can imagine," he said and she looked at him with a smile.

"I love how you light up just by hearing her name," he confessed. She found his willingness to open up very refreshing. This wasn't a man that was afraid to seem any less a man just because he said what he felt. A trait she wished Fin would have. She tried to hide the fact she got angry with herself for thinking about Fin and asked:
"So does your sister still live around here to?" she'd wondered since he'd mentioned the family get-together every other weekend but not so much about his sister. He shook his head.
"No, she moved to Florida many years ago, her husband Tom comes from there. I see her about four times a year but we Skype every now and then. She has two little kids so it's a great way to see them grow."

"Your mom miss not having her around? And the grandkids?"
"I guess yeah but my mom flies down there a couple of times a year and once they come back here they always stay at my parents. I'm sure she'd love to have them next doors though," Ryan smiled.
"Does your brother have kids?" she asked and he shook his head.
"And you don't have any right?"
"No, unfortunately not," he said. She felt a bit embarrassed for prying and put the straw to her lips again.

"My mom has been bugging both me and my brother for years about grandkids, once lil' sis got going it eased some pressure though. My brother has a serious girlfriend, and for years now, but I actually don't think they want to have kids. I'd love to though," he put it out there so she'd know. By him sharing so much she didn't feel too assertive and she asked him a few more questions about his brother and family but soon their cups were empty and she knew she had to get herself home. They walked the few blocks to her house and she stopped once they reached her main gate. She figured she could trust him.

"What floor?" he asked and looked up. She told him and he asked how long she'd lived there. She answered, he asked if she liked the place, she said yes and then he ran out of questions. Or more, he realized he had to let her go even though he didn't want to.

"You gonna run home on that leg?" she asked.
"I think I'll walk. Don't you think I've done my exercise for today?" She smiled and nodded at him.
"Well, I…" she started and hinted a little towards the door.
"...gotta go. Yeah. Maybe we can do this again though? I really liked running with you and I hope I wasn't slowing you down?"
"Oh no you didn't," she hurried to let him know.
"Good, and I promise cramps aren't my usual style." That made her chuckle and he smiled as he watched her.
"Okay, so I'll text you, see if we can run maybe next week?"
"Yeah sure," she nodded.

"I'm heading out of town this weekend just so you know but maybe next weekend we could do dinner? If you like to I mean?"
"Well, I have to check, I mean work and..." she felt herself getting evasive as a lot of thoughts about Fay and Fin and would it be okay for her to go on a date spun around her head and she finally bit her lip to stop rambling. He'd seen her hesitation and feared he'd rushed her. It wouldn't be the first time. Why did he have to be so pushy?
"I get it, just get back to me whenever, I'd love a run with you next week and I'd love to have dinner with you next weekend so just let me know," he put it out there.
"Okay. Cool," she said but felt anything but.
"Great, can't wait to hear from you."

She nodded and then tried to not freeze as he got closer. She held her breath as he gently kissed her on the cheek. His lips were warm and smooth and she felt a tingle on her skin where they landed for a brief second. She managed to inhale just a little as he was close and he smelled like a mix of sweat and sea breeze. Lovely. He stepped back and started to walk backwards down the street.

"Thanks for the run and that," he said as he walked away and he gestured to his leg. She smiled at him as he turned.
"Thanks for the very berry," she shouted after him. She saw him wave his hand in the air just before she headed inside. She skipped the elevator and flew up the stairs instead. She felt oddly excited and tried to push it down as she knocked on Eva's door. Eva open and her daughter's face showed up just seconds later.

"Mom," she shouted and clung to her legs for a while.
"How was the run?" Eva asked with big eyes. Amanda first couldn't say anything and just nodded.
"Good," she then smiled but tried to keep it down. Eva got it though.
"Good? Well good," she smiled and with that accent Amanda loved she continued: "Maybe you'll take another run soon then?"
"Maybe," Amanda just said and smiled. Fay said thank you for the milk and good night to Eva as she headed towards the stairs. She usually preferred to be carried but she didn't like it when her mom was sweaty so tonight she made her own way. Amanda thanked Eva too and skipped after her daughter.

Amanda had felt doubtful when Ryan first asked her about dinner. It felt like such a huge step but when Eva had asked her about the run and everything Amanda had felt jittery, but in a good way. A potential dinner date had been on her mind the entire night and she'd even managed to rub of her high spirits on Fay. They had a night filled with giggling and silliness. But then Friday morning as she was on her way to work and the thought of Fin and that whole situation made her hesitant again. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all? Perhaps she should just be happy with what she had?

Fin could tell something was on her mind and felt annoyed when she said everything was fine the few times he asked if something was up. Her making him annoyed also meant she turned him on. Yes he was screwed up but he didn't care. Anger, annoyance, irritation made him want her, badly. So he asked if she had time to come by his place after work. She'd seemed hesitant but then finally nodded.

She figured she would talk to him then. Mention Ryan and the suggested dinner date. For some reason it felt as though she needed to ask for Fins permission. And her attention had been to just talk to him but of course things hadn't turned out that way. Within minutes she'd found herself on his bed, between his sheets and under and over him and swept away to wonderful places. She couldn't regret that but knew it would have to change if she went on this date with Ryan.

He watched her as she started to move towards the side of the bed. Minutes ago they'd been panting next to each other. He was still out of breath but she'd been breathing calmly for a few minutes beside him. He wished she could stay a while, like she had done during the early years. Back then he hadn't appreciated it so much, the feeling of waking up with someone beside him. No not just someone, with her next to him or in his arms. Her breathing calmed him. Having her near calmed him. He never slept better than with her beside him.

Since Fay came along though, never a regret about that but it had changed his and Amanda's relationship. Amanda didn't want any funny business, as she called it, around Fay and he respected that. When she was really young there were ways to work around it so she wouldn't be exposed in any way. But when those tiny legs started moving on their own it got trickier. And while in that small apartment with mother and daughter in the same room it was even trickier. He had to get used to quickies in odd places but that worked too. Anything to be with her.

The new apartment meant a little more freedom but she was dead set on keeping the funny business away from Fay. This meant he'd spent many nights on their couch. Once Fay was asleep they would use Amanda's bed but then when they were done she would kick him out to sleep on the couch so that when Fay woke up and came waltzing into her mama's room she wouldn't find Fin there too. There were nights when they both crashed afterwards, exhaustion taking the best out of them, but thankfully Fay was often a heavy sleeper and when she had nightmares you heard them miles away. And Amanda was an early riser so she made Fin switch sleep location before Fay woke up.

They got busted once though but Fay had just walked in and fell right asleep in her mother's arms and Fin was able to sneak out before she noticed him. There had been other times when he'd taken cover in the bathroom and once even in the closet, not such a graceful tactic and Amanda had scolded herself for it but they just had a hard time keeping their hands of each other and Fin really didn't think it would scar Fay if she found them together. They had after all spent nights together, all three of them, in bed sleeping together. Amanda however didn't feel that was the same. She said friends and co-workers can share bed fully clothed without it having to mean something but what we do most of the time, he remember her gesturing between them, does mean something. He'd never taken the conversation further even though he wished he had at times.

Lately though they'd done the deed at his place mostly. Fay was getting too alert, Amanda didn't want to risk anything. So quickies at his place after work before she went home to Fay and the babysitter or pick Fay up from her neighbors were their usual routine these days. He turned slightly on the bed so he could watch her better. He could still spot small drops of sweat on her back and her hair was all tangled up in the back. It made him smile. He wished she could stay a while longer. He liked running his hands over her naked body as they both came down together.

She was still not comfortable walking around complete bare as she'd done in the beginning. The scars on her chest and stomach still bothered her some. He was working on it though. Making her comfortable in front of him, not feeling exposed and feel the need to hide her scars. They'd come a long way, in the beginning she'd insisted on keeping her tee on the entire time. Now she went without and he knew there were moments she completely forgot she even had scars. They weren't that bad any longer either. In the beginning they had looked scary but after a couple of years and a few sessions of laser treatment they'd blended in more. For a moment he was back at the site where she'd been shot. He had images from that day that would never fully be erased from his mind. The rare nights he had nightmares they always contained the shooting, her falling to the ground, her blood pouring out of holes in her body, her blood on his hands and her eyes falling shut.

He sighed loudly and it made her turn back to look at him. He looked a little pale but he shot her a smile. He'd turn slightly towards her and she knew he had been watching her. He often caught him doing that. My little perv she thought to herself and felt her smile grow wider. His smile turned to a yawn as he fell back against the pillow. His eyes turned to the ceiling and she took the opportunity to look him over. He was mostly exposed, draped only by the sheet that had twisted around his body during the wild ride they'd just had in his bed. He'd never been shy. It was just one of many things she liked about him.

She remembered suddenly why she'd went over here with him in the first place and she hurried to pull the tee over her head as she'd gotten the bra in place.
"So, this…" she started as she reached for her panties on the floor. She peeked back over her shoulder at him to see if he was paying attention or if he was snoozing as usual. He'd turned his head towards her again though and she twisted her body around slightly so she could face him better. She started to feel perhaps this wasn't the best time but then again she couldn't wait either. His eyes usually gave her courage but right now they made her nervous and she looked away.

"What?" he asked feeling that she wanted to tell him something.
"This… guy. This new guy in my book circle. I'm not sure if I've mentioned him or not. Ryan. Well, he… asked me out," she shot another glance over her shoulder to catch his reaction. He just raised his eyebrows slightly. She knew she hadn't mentioned him, it was just something she said.
"I was thinking I might… take him up on it," she said treading lightly. Fin nodded as he took it in. This wasn't the first time. She'd been asked out before, shot most of them down but gone on a few dates. She'd always come running back to him though. But there was something different this time. Something had changed between them as of lately. And he had a feeling she felt something for this guy. That scared him more than he wanted to admit.

"I didn't know you'd started with the book circle again?" he asked and tried to sound casual.
"Yeah, I've been a few times, Gayle said she missed me there." Fin had met Gayle a few times and knew who she was. He in fact loved Gayle. He said she was such a guy, hinting to her forwardness and flippant way about guys and relationship. Amanda wasn't sure but she thought Gayle knew about her occasional hooking up with her partner. They'd never talked about it but Gayle just had a way to pick up things, especially if there was any sexual tension there.

"So this date… dinner, you think I should go?" she'd started to put on her panties and it all felt wrong for some reason. This whole situation felt wrong.
"You should," he said to cover up any hesitation she might pick up from him. "I mean if you want to?" he said and briefly gestured towards her. She turned and bent down to get her socks of the floor and she thought about what he'd asked.
"Yeah, I think I want to. Actually," she said quietly as she sat back up.
"Then you should," Fin said quickly trying to cover up the sick feeling that was growing in his stomach. Amanda turned on the bed so her legs got on the outside and she could put on her socks. She reached for her pants as she was down there and got them on. She stood up so she could button up her jeans.

"So you're okay with it then?" she said as she was done and turned to him. She was torn. She was being honest, she did feel something for this guy but at the same time she for some reason wanted Fin to just say no. To say no cause he wanted her all to himself. But of course that wasn't the kind of relationship they had.
"Have you checked him up?" Fin said and Amanda saw his cheeky grin.
"No I haven't," she sighed and shook her head at him.
"What's his name?" he asked.
"And you ain't doing it either," she said as she picked up his tee that she saw at the bottom of the bed and threw it at him.

He caught it before it hit his face though and he brought it down on the bed. So that was the first she spoke of him but it wouldn't be the last. He watched her shake her head at him with a smile and then she said bye and walked out. His face had dropped the minute she'd left the room but it wasn't until he heard the front door close shut behind her that he reached for his pillow and put it over his face. He felt like screaming but of course didn't. He knew this could happen. He'd in fact been waiting for it for a long time now. Expecting it to happen but tried to push it away. Too messy to deal with. His feelings for her were too messy.

He got up, put a pair of boxers on and went out into the living room and turned his video game on. This was nothing killing a pair of bad guys in the new Halo game couldn't cure he tried to tell himself.

She decided to be brave, or perhaps it was just frustration over Fin's inability to fight for her, and she texted Ryan as soon as she'd parked down in her own garage. She texted that she'd love to have dinner with him. Perhaps they could talk about it more during a run Tuesday or Wednesday she suggested. It didn't take long until he texted back that he was looking forward to the dinner and suggested Tuesday for a run. She accepted within seconds, wished him a great weekend away and just hoped nothing would come up at work. It didn't and they ran the same route as the week before. No cramps this time and they ended with a smoothie at the bar and he told her about this place he'd liked to take her to Friday or Saturday. He gave her the choice of day but asked her not to take too long because he thought he had to make a reservation to be sure to get them in.

Fin tried not to pry but he did offer to watch Fay but she said she'd already asked her neighbor even though she hadn't. He'd asked mostly to find out which day they would have this dinner date. He did wonder how all this would affect their little arrangement and thought about asking her if she had time to come by his place Friday after work but he chicken out. If he knew her right, if she wanted to give this guy a chance, she wouldn't sleep with Fin. The thought that last Friday might have been the last time he'd be with her made him feel sad. And a bit angry for some reason.

It felt too weird to have Fin watch Fay when she was going on a date. No she asked Eva and she of course said yes. Eva seemed even more excited about this date than Amanda. She'd asked a lot of questions about him as they were at the park with the kids after school earlier that week. Amanda had looked him up on some social networks so she had a bit more than what he'd already told her. She hadn't checked his police record though. That felt way too intrusive even though she knew she would if this went further. She had a kid to protect after all.

But from the social network she'd learnt he had friends but not ridiculously many as some had. She spotted a few that showed up quite a lot on his timeline and in different check-ins all over town. He seemed to have a group of friends that he spent a lot of time together with and those friends all seemed legit. Two years back his status had been 'in a relationship' and she clicked on the female but her account was locked and Amanda could only see her profile picture. She looked nothing like Amanda. Brown hair, brown eyes, kind smile. The fact he was still friends with her on the network talked to his advantage though, at least in Amanda's eyes.

She found some photos of him that made her laugh. It seemed he didn't mind making a fool of himself and there were photos of him with silly hats on and in some awkward situations. He smiled in every one of them. She caught herself thinking Fin would never been photographed like that. He did let Fay dress him up at times and put make-up on him but he would never ever allow anyone to take a photo of him like that. Amanda tried to block Fin out of her mind and went back to browsing his profile. He had a few jobs listed and he'd been in some fancy schools and trough some expensive education.

She found a rather recent photo of his brother and then one of Ryan as a kid with his parents. She could see the family resemblance clearly. It freaked her out a bit to see his family, it made her think she could just never be a part of something so… normal. She logged out before she went down further in the downwind spiral and went to check on Fay instead. Still sound asleep and Amanda took a shower before she head to bed. Tomorrow she was going on a date and it would be and work out okay. She was doing this and she did look forward to it.

He would wait for her. He would wait both Friday and Saturday since he didn't know which night she had the date. Every sound he heard from the outside made him hope she was coming. Fin didn't even feel bad for hoping the dinner would be terrible. But she never showed up. She didn't tell him much about it afterwards either. While waiting he had lots of time to think even though he hated how it made him feel. He cursed himself for every missed opportunity he had with her. All those nights at the hospital when he'd been sitting there by her side wishing she would make it through okay just so he could make amends. So he could really show her and tell her how much she truly meant to him. He'd chicken out.

He'd missed the chance to evolve things when she got pregnant and then again when Fay was actually born. There had been times when she'd been ready, he thought almost expected him to take it to another level. But every time he had chicken out. He knew it would come a day though when Fay would ask about whom her father was and he knew he and Amanda would have to figure out how they'd deal with that. He feared though that his missed opportunities, his inability to love her the way she deserved to be loved would also rob him from being Fay's dad. Fin knew he couldn't make demands, he couldn't force Amanda to fess up the day Fay wanted to know. He knew Amanda had the right to lie, to keep it a secret. He didn't think Amanda would though but he would not blame her if she did. Fin did not deserve either Amanda or Fay in his life he was completely frank with himself. He'd done nothing to earn that right.

The date had been perfect. He had waited for her out on the curb outside her building. She'd asked what to wear, if it was a fancy place or not and he'd said to dress comfortable. That intel was useless to her and Fay had watched her with peculiar eyes as she'd rumbled through her closet to find anything to wear. She did have a dress that Eva actually remade for her not long ago. The original dress had a bit too steep cleavage and exposed some of her chest scar. Eva had remade the bust area and also form fitted the entire dress better.

And too Amanda's surprise cut about two inches from the hem line taking it up over her knees. Amanda didn't mind, judging by Eva's own clothes it just surprised Amanda she'd shorten it. But Eva had just said 'you should show what you got' and winked at her. Amanda hadn't been sure when she would ever get a chance to wear such a fancy dress though. She'd bought it for a wedding that never took place. It was dark purple with a sheer cover layer and some small details around the arms and waist line. She felt over dressed in any dress but this one she hoped just wasn't too over the top.

She'd asked Fay what she'd thought but the girl had just smiled. Amanda had told her she was going on a date and had to explain what date meant. Fay was more curious about Ryan than what they were doing on their date though. Amanda told her that she might get to see him soon if the date went well. That cheered Fay up. Usually she didn't mind staying at Eva's but tonight she'd rather go with her mom and this Ryan person. Amanda put her hair up, got some make-up on and then got in a pair of not so high heels. Ryan was tall though so she might have to invest in higher heels one day she figured. But then again if she wasn't able to stand up in them what good did they do?

Ryan texted when he was downstairs and Amanda grabbed Fay and they went down a floor. Eva tried to whistle even though she couldn't when she saw Amanda. Amanda shook her head with embarrassment.
"You look beautiful," Eva said and truly meant it.
"Don't she Esteban?" she asked since her sons had joined them too. The boy nodded with a smile on his face.
"Thank you," Amanda directed towards him and then she gave Eva a hug and thanked her yet again for helping her with the dress she was wearing. Eva told her to stay out late and Fay gave her mom one last hug before Eva made her go inside.

She felt a bit nervous as she stepped out on the curb but she didn't have to. He immediately told her she looked stunning and told her he had to hug her just to stop from staring. He was good at flattering, and not the superficial kind. He offered his arm and then they walked the few blocks to the restaurant. He had offered a cab ride but she had no problem walking. They small talked a little on the way about what had happen since they last met. Amanda of course couldn't share much about the case she was working right now but just told him they had the bad guy behind bars. Ryan said he was happy she'd made the town a little safer. He truly didn't seem to have a problem with her line of work. He knew by now that she worked sex crimes though. Not usually a good pick-up line and all though he'd said he imagined it was the worst cases to work within the police he still didn't seemed repulsed.

The restaurant had been really nice, the staff very service minded and the food divine. They had no problem with the conversation. Surely the two glasses of wine she'd emptied rather quickly had helped at least her out a bit but he seemed to have the ability to not make a conversation go stale. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her better. He was curious about growing up in Georgia and Amanda tried to give him the good and stay away from the bad. She still feared he would reject her if he knew too much about her family. She did have time to ask him about his time in college and what he mostly liked about his job. He seemed very passionate about his job which to Amanda always was an attractive trait.

He did inquire about Fay too. But not too much to make her suspicious he was only after her for her daughter. Occupational hazard. He did ask if she had any photos and she did show him a few in her phone. He of course let her know he thought the little girl was adorable and she looked like she had a kind spirit. Amanda had never heard a man describe her daughter like that and it was refreshing. He let her know her sister's kids were around Fay's. His niece was a year older and his nephew a year younger. He did mention the three of them would be perfect playmates but Amanda let that one slip by.

They shared a dessert afterwards since they both felt stuffed but couldn't say no to a nice piece of chocolate cake that the waiter showed them on a tray. Amanda usually wasn't much for desserts if it wasn't a donut but tonight she was. He paid, of course, and they took a stroll around before they were back at her house. He knew she wanted to pick up her daughter before it got too late and he respected that. She felt a bit nervous as they rounded off their conversation outside her house. She wasn't sure if she should just hug him or if he would make some attempt to kiss her. He'd kept his distance so far. Sure he'd hugged her and offered her his arm but no advances other than that.

She didn't have to worry though. He'd simply leaned in and gave her a hug and ended it with a kiss on her cheek. Tonight he didn't smell of sweat and sea breeze. Tonight it was something reminding her of cranberry. He said he'd love to do this all over again and when she said she'd like that too he told her he would call her Monday and see if she was up for another run so they could talk about where to go next. She said she'd like that and they said good bye after he let her know he wouldn't hold her from that sweet, sweet child of hers. She took her shoes of inside and almost skipped the flight of stairs up to Eva's door.

Eva quizzed her a little about the date but Amanda could tell she was tired and promised she would spill everything during a coffee tomorrow. Fay had fallen asleep next to Johnny and Amanda bundled her up in her arms and carried her upstairs.

Picking up Fay tonight after the date had felt oddly normal. Amanda had grown custom to the sneaking around that she'd almost forgot how it was dating and the butterflies in the stomach and the 'will he like my outfit' type of hassle in the beginning of a relationship. She got herself and her baby inside and made sure the security chain was on before she went inside. She headed straight through the apartment and into Fay's room. The unicorn light was on in the window. It was a gift from Fin. Amanda held on to her daughter as she pulled the cover off the bed and then gently put her down. She was already in her pajamas but Amanda pulled of her socks that she was still wearing. She bundled the socks and tossed them towards the laundry basket across the room.

"Score," she had to whisper as they landed in the basket. She put the cover over her daughter and stroked her hair gently. Her blonde afro was in teeny tiny braids at the moment. They were taking them out soon though because Fay didn't like it much. She wanted her hair to be as free as she was she'd declared the other morning as they were getting ready for preschool. That kid could truly make you smile and Amanda felt so thankful.

As she thought about that morning and every other moment when her daughter had shown her strength and personality she felt so thankful she could burst. This colorful daughter of hers. Fin always gave her playful sneers about the clothes she picked out for Fay. Amanda had never had a good sense of fashion but she knew what she liked when it came to children's clothes. She wanted to get as far away from the clothes her mother had forced her and her sister to wear as kids. Bonnie had put them in dresses and uncomfortable pantsuits, even when they'd been dirt poor her mother had made an effort to make them look anything but. And it had been pink and red and all girly colors.

Amanda wanted her daughter to be able to play and she could get however dirty she wanted when doing so and she wanted her clothes to be cheerful and vibrant. She'd found a couple of stores online that sold ecology friendly garments that she enjoyed browsing and ordering from. And Fay didn't seem to mind. She wasn't a fuzzy kid like that. Amanda kissed her daughter on the head as she was about to slip out. Fay stirred though and Amanda saw some white in her eyes as she peeked up.

"Hey," she said softly not wanting to wake her up completely in case she could go back to sleep straight away.
"Hey," Fay's squeaky and sleepy voice rang back as she wiggled to her side. Amanda stroked her head again. Waiting to see if she fell back to sleep.
"Did you have a fun date," Fay said without opening her eyes. Amanda hesitated but then answered.
"Yeah I did."
"What did you eat?"
"I had a very tasty salmon," Amanda answered and smiled as she saw Fay's nose crumble. Not a picky eater that one but fish wasn't high on her favorite food list.
"Was he good looking?" Fay asked once her nose had uncrumbled.
"Yeah he was," Amanda smiled as she felt her cheeks blush. Fay smacked her lips a bit and then peeked up at her mom.
"Was he good to you?" she asked and Amanda stroked her cheek.
"Yes, he was very good to me," she smiled. Fay's eyes went shut again as she settled down on her pillow.
"As good as Fin?" Fay whispered and the question hit Amanda in the gut. She'd been able to not think about Fin during the date. She thought about her daughter's question for so long that Fay fell back to sleep.
"No one is as good as Fin," Amanda whispered as she kissed her daughter's head a last time and then slipped out of her room.

XXX
Ryan got a little more space in this chapter than I first anticipated. I fell in love with him a little I guess. The question though is if Amanda will...