Peeta's poem


*BOOM BOOM BOOM!*

Cato punched his punching bag, which was shaped like President Snow, again and again, feeling powerful and in control and awesome.

He continued punching it, receiving great pleasure by hitting President Snow repeatedly with his deadly fists, until he got bored with it. He punched President Snow one last time, then smiled contently and took off his boxing gloves and took a deep breath, smelling his sweat.

Oh, the smell of masculinity!

Cato, tired but satisfied, sat down in front of his computer and, after checking out on his virtual fishes on Facebook, went to his profile.

A shocking surprise was waiting for him there.

On his Friends List, he could see that the woman who was never online when he was, the woman who was a mystery in his eyes, was online.

Greasy Saw.

Feeling more elated than before, he clicked on her name to see her profile, praying that she won't immediately get offline.

She didn't. That was all so exciting.

Cato read her profile quickly, sad that she didn't have any pictures of herself on this website.

Greasy Sae Profile Page

Name: Greasy Sae… what were my parents thinking?

Age: 58.

Home: District Twelve.

Current location: At The Hob, selling soup :)

Interested in: Soup, food, wild dogs, dead animals that I can add to my soups.

In a relationship: Never mentioned in the books, but I'm a bony old woman who sells soup with dead animals in it, so I'm pretty sure I'm single.

Smiling still, Cato The Sexy Buffalo posted a comment on June 30 at 10:14AM.

'GREASY SAE! Finally! I was just dying to know who you are exactly!'

A reply from Greasy Sae was received only a minute later.

'…I'm Greasy Sae.'

'No shit.' Johanna Mason sent.

Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Finnick Odair and Gale Hawthorne liked this.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent the next comment, curiosity quickly taking over him.

'Can you send me a picture of yourself? Please?'

Greasy Sae replied to his comment rather quickly, which was just super exciting.

'Sure :) *link to the picture*'

Cato clicked on the link hurriedly, feeling impatient. It took an excruciatingly long time for the picture to load, but when it finally did, Cato's breath went away.

Finally, he could put a face to the name 'Greasy Sae'.

The woman in the picture was dark-skinned and bony, with bulging eyes and a huge, toothless grin. Well, not really toothless. She did have one tooth in her mouth.

Cato The Sexy Buffalo sent a quick reply after he finished looking at the picture.

'So this is how you look… quite the enchanting smile you've got there.'

Greasy Sae replied quickly.

'*smiles a toothless smile* thank you, dear :)'

Katniss Everdeen then joined the conversation.

'Oh Greasy Sae, I'm sure there's a guy out there, lusting after you!'

Greasy Sae sent the next comment.

'Yeah, well, you have, like, two hot guys lusting after you and you don't even care, which is quite odd considering that they're both WAY out of your league.'

Cato The Sexy Buffalo immediately liked it. Johanna Mason, Haymitch Abernathy and Finnick Odair liked it, too.

Katniss Everdeen quickly replied.

'Oh please. They don't lust after me!'

'Katniss! I wrote you a story to express my undying love for you!' Gale wrote, joining the conversation.

'Oh, crap.' Haymitch Abernathy wrote exactly what Cato The Sexy Buffalo was thinking.

Katniss Everdeen, Johanna Mason, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Peeta Mellark and Finnick Odair all liked this.

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

'Now, this story has sexual content in it, so, beware!'

Gale sent one more comment, this time the story he wrote about him and Katniss was its content.

'One day Katniss and Gale went hunting.

Katniss I love you, Gale said.

I love you too, Katniss replied.

They kissed.

I want to make love to you, Gale said.

Okay, Katniss replied.

Gale put his thingy into Katniss's You-Know-What and they did it for the first time.

That was great, Gale said.

Yes it was, Katniss replied.

Wanna do it again? Gale asked.

Okay, Katniss replied.

They did it again.

You're better than Peeta, Katniss said.

I know baby, Gale nodded his head. I know.'

. . .

Cato didn't even know how to respond to that.

'Great writing, man.' Finnick Odair wrote, obviously sarcastic.

'That was the sexiest sex scene I've ever read about.' Johanna Mason sent, and of course she was being sarcastic too.

'That was beautiful! *wipes tears from his eyes*' President Snow The Sexy Rooster sent, and was… probably not sarcastic. He was just an idiot like that.

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

'You guys are so kind.'

Katniss Everdeen posted a comment.

'Gale?'

Gale Hawthorne replied almost immediately.

'Yes, Katniss, dear?'

'Don't write about me. Ever.' Katniss Everdeen sent, sounding serious.

Peeta Mellark then joined the conversation.

'Yes, Hawthorne, don't write about Katniss. Ever!'

Gale Hawthorne sent the next comment.

'Shut it Mellark.'

Johanna Mason, Cato The Sexy Buffalo, Haymitch Abernathy and Katniss Everdeen liked this.

Peeta Mellark sent a quick reply.

'I am way more talented than you are, Hawthorne. True, your story was very moving and the sex scene was great, but I am a poet! Yes yes, Katniss loaf, I wrote you a poem!'

'Cato, is there any way you can come and kill me with your swords?' Katniss Everdeen sent, sounding desperate.

Cato smirked.

'Nope. I'm enjoying this conversation way too much.' Cato The Sexy Buffalo wrote simply.

Johanna Mason, President Snow The Sexy Rooster, Haymitch Abernathy and Finnick Odair liked this.

Peeta Mellark posted another comment.

'Okay, here it is:

~oOo~

I stand and peer from my place behind a tree

And see Katniss there, shooting a deer.

Oh Katniss my loaf, I say in my head,

There's a bear behind you, be strong, be prepared!

~oOo~

I watch her again, as she makes her way down the street,

Her face is half eaten; the bear had a treat.

Her leg is gone, and so is her arm,

And yet, she's still the most beautiful girl in Panem.

~oOo~

I make her a cake when she starts feeling better,

It is rich and tasty, I used a whole lot of butter,

She eats a small slice, then spits it all out,

Peeta, she exclaims, does it have any nuts?

~oOo~

Her face is now swollen, she looks like a toad,

She is allergic to nuts, that is just odd,

I loaf you so much, I say again and again,

We'll be together forever, just push through the pain!

~oOo~

I'm now at her funeral, feeling sad and alone,

I should've asked Beetee to make Katniss a clone.

I cry and I cry as I lay in my bed,

Oh, I feel so sad now that Katniss is dead.

~oOo~'

The only thing Cato was able to do after reading the horrible poem was snort.

It took Katniss a few long minutes to post her next comment.

'Did you really just kill me in your poem?'

Gale Hawthorne decided to share some words of encouragement.

'You suck, Mellark!'

'Didn't find it nearly as good as Gale's story.' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote seriously.

Haymitch Abernathy sent another one of his deep, meaningful comments.

'Heehee, butter…'

Peeta Mellark sent the next comment.

'My poem is good! I know it is! I'm the most talented person in here!'

Greasy Sae wrote an annoyed reply to that.

'I disagree, Bread Boy. We are all talented, in our own special ways.'

'Yeah! I can shoot things!' Katniss Everdeen wrote.

'I can write smutty stories!' Gale Hawthorne sent.

'I can swallow swords!' Cato The Sexy Buffalo shared.

'I can kick your ass!' Johanna Mason boasted.

'I can make homemade perfumes!' President Snow The Sexy Rooster wrote.

'I can burp the alphabet!' Haymitch Abernathy sent.

'I am Finnick Odair. I can do everything.' Finnick Odair wrote oh-so-modestly.

Peeta Mellark took his time to reply to this.

'…I'm more talented than you are…'

The next thing that appeared on Cato The Sexy Buffalo's screen was, 'Greasy Sae Activity: Peeta Mellark has been blocked from posting on the wall of Greasy Sae.'

Katniss Everdeen sent the final comment that concluded this conversation.

'Good riddance.'

And with that, Cato The Sexy Buffalo closed the site and put his boxing gloves back on, ready to punch President Snow some more.


Oh, another 'My Immortal' reference. I just can't get enough of those :)

Sorry it took me so long to update. But look at the bright side - one more chapter, and I can start writing new chapters!

EXCITING! :D

So leave a review, because I'm tired and it took me a long time to rewrite and fix this chapter and because of Peeta's lovely poem and Gale's smutty story.

And hope you all have a lovely day :)