A/N: This one is lengthy. And very different than the other chapters. It's Emily-centric. A lot of you have asked for more of Emily's history and wanted to know more about what happened to Maya. This is Emily's journey. This chapter should answer all of your questions.


Chapter 29:

Brown Eyed Girl

(Maya's Interlude)


"You want to tell me about her?" Alison asked.


They met on a Wednesday, which Maya later claimed was her favorite day of the week. It had only taken an instant for Emily and Maya to fall in love with one another. For Emily, it wasn't the way Maya looked or anything she said or did. Though she was beautiful and her bright optimistic personality was contagious. But it wasn't any of those things. It was her smile. Maya's infectious smile was Emily's favorite thing in the world. But Emily had been shy about her feelings. Maya was the first girl, really the first person she'd had really strong feelings for. It was confusing for her. She wasn't sure how to react.

Emily always felt different when she was growing up. She'd just always felt like she'd never fit in. Not in the typical sense. Everyone loved her. Adults and kids alike. Even when she was a baby, she'd always been a parent's dream. Smart. Bubbly. Kind. She was always smiling and giggling. And she wasn't afraid of anything. She dared to take risks. She loved to explore. Other kids loved her charm and whimsy. They flocked to her.

Every day at recess was a new adventure, and she had plenty of friends to go on them with.

Hanna would get a little possessive of her sometimes, something that would never change. She was loud about the fact that Emily was her best friend and she wasn't interested in sharing. Hanna didn't like to share.

Toby acted like her big brother, but it was usually Emily getting Toby out of jams. She knew how to throw a punch. Her dad had taught her to defend herself at an early age. It made her more popular than she cared to be sometimes.

Sometimes she just wanted to disappear in the tunnels on the playground. Sometimes she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Because despite being surrounded by people, sometimes she felt all alone. It wasn't anything the others were doing. She just felt like an outcast and she didn't understand why.

But then one day when all the kids in her kindergarten class were playing a game in which they'd sneak off behind the slide and kiss while playing pretend marriage she realized what was so different about her. Hanna had practically dragged a little boy named Sean to the "kissing spot", which other kids could see from the bridge connecting two opposite parts of the playground. Kids would gather to watch their classmates peck one another on the cheek or on the lips and then the onlookers would cover their mouths and giggle. Sometimes some of them would chant their names and sing that they were "…sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

One day a little boy in Emily's class named Isaac asked her if she wanted to go play pretend marriage with him. He had shaggy brown hair and the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. He was sweet and cute and kind, and everything that girls really loved. But Emily didn't feel anything. When boys talked to her she didn't have butterflies like the other girls in her class.

Even so, she said okay and they found themselves playing house. They'd paraded around, laughing and pretending that he'd just come home from a long day of work. She'd eagerly exclaimed how excited she was to see him and then they ran into each other's arms and hugged.

Isaac had asked her if it was okay if he kissed her, and Emily thought it was what was expected of her. All of her friends had done it.

So she did it. But when they kissed it felt wrong. It felt off. He'd blushed and giggled, and of course they'd called each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" for all of one day, like most 5-year-olds. But the next day everything was back to normal. At least for everyone else. But for Emily that little innocent kiss had sparked something inside of her that she couldn't put out.

It wasn't until one day at the pool when she saw a little fair-haired girl with bright blue eyes she realized what was so different about her.

The weekend after she and Isaac had kissed had changed everything. She'd been invited to a pool party by one of the girls in her class. She'd been so excited because she loved the water and she'd never been to the pool at the big clubhouse on the other side of town. Her mom had taken her shopping and she'd picked out a pink and white bathing suit.

When she'd seen the size of the pool and how fancy it was she felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. She was the first one in the water. Her dad had taught her how to swim when she was two.

She'd played with her friends that day, occasionally meeting new friends, some older, some younger. She remembered seeing a family over in a small cabana. There was a boy, about nine or ten, a girl who was probably seven, and a two little girls her age. There were four grown ups chatting with one another, paying attention to everything but their kids. The seven-year-old and one of the girls started fighting about something and the seven-year-old whined out a,

"Mom! Make Spencer stop mocking me!"

The mom waved her off. The little girl named Spencer gave the older girl a smarmy look and stuck her tongue out at who Emily presumed to be her sister.

The other little girl Emily's age said something to the older boy, who favored her quite a bit. She skipped off towards the deep end. Emily had watched her, mesmerized by her beauty. The girl turned towards Emily and pulled her designer shades off of her face. Emily had never seen another five-year-old with designer sunglasses. She had to be a movie star or something. The little girl looked past Emily, but Emily could see the sun bouncing off of her icy blue eyes. And she started feeling things she'd never felt before.

She went back to playing with her friends, but she kept her eyes on the girl. And it was a good thing, too. Because ten minutes later she saw her fall into the deep end of the pool. The blonde had been reaching for her sunglasses, which had flopped into the water, and she'd tumbled in. Emily saw her struggling and she'd quickly cut away from her friends and jumped in after her.

She'd helped her to the side. The girl had grabbed the ladder and then turned around to face her. Their eyes met, and the minute Emily peered into those crystal blue pools of gratitude she'd felt something. Things that all of her girl friends felt for boys.

"Thanks." The blonde pretended to pick some lint off of her bathing suit, trying to play it cool.

Emily had smiled at her and shrugged. She felt her cheeks get hot, and it wasn't just from being out in the sun.

"I can teach you how to swim if you want." Emily had offered.

"I know how to swim." She'd sounded defensive, but her face was soft. "Just accidentally snorted water up my nose."

"Oh, okay."

The little girl peered at Emily curiously. Emily didn't know it at the time, but the blonde was admiring how pretty she looked. She was noticing everything about her. Her striking cocoa eyes. Her soft lips. Her glistening tousled hair sparkling in the water. She looked radiant in the sunlight. She wanted to take Emily's hand and kiss her. She'd kissed some of the boys in her kindergarten class, and she'd seen her brother kiss his girlfriends. She'd always wanted to kiss a girl, and this girl was perfect.

"You're pretty. Are you a mermaid?" The girl looked at her long flowing hair.

Emily looked at her inquisitively. She'd never been asked anything like that before.

"I don't think so." She'd giggled.

"You're a really good swimmer." The girl had moved closer to her. She smelled like lavender, chlorine, and mint.

"Thanks. My daddy taught me."

"You have a good daddy?"

"The BEST." Emily nodded enthusiastically. "He's really strong and funny and smart."

The girl had looked a little downtrodden at the mention of a good father. Emily looked over at the adults that the girl had come with and saw that not a single one of them was paying attention to her. It made her angry. Because something could have happened. She could have gotten hurt. She could have drowned. It made Emily want to climb out of the pool and march over to the adults and scold them and tell them that they had a beautiful daughter and that they should cherish and protect her. And if they wouldn't then she would.

"I learned to swim when my brother pushed me in the pool one day." The girl pointed to the older boy she'd come with. He did a cannon ball at the other end of the pool. "He can be a real butthead sometimes. He thought it would be funny. But it was scary." She faced Emily. Their eyes met and Emily smiled bashfully. "Were you scared when you learned how to swim?"

"Not really. My daddy said that being in the water makes us really strong, because water can get through everything on the planet. He says that even when the water gets stuck, it can find a new path."

"Ohh…kay."

The blonde's smile made something weird churn inside of Emily's stomach.

"You're different," The girl said bluntly. And it made Emily cringe. Because she was different, and was that a bad thing? Was something wrong with her? Her anxiety melted away when the blonde laughed and added, "I like you."

"I like you, too."

"When grown ups like each other they get married." The girl stated.

"You would look really pretty in a fancy dress, like the ones the princesses wear in the movies." Emily chewed on her lip with an innocent smile.

"You think I'm a princess?"

Emily put the girl's sunglasses back on her face and nodded.

"I think you're royalty."

"The princess and the mermaid. That would be a cool story." The girl suggested.

"Em!" Someone shouted from across the pool.

Alison looked over and saw a green-eyed sandy-haired boy. Emily turned to face him and waved. The blonde sneered at him. Who was he?

"Come on! We're going to play Marco-Polo!"

"Who is that?"

"My friend Isaac. He's in my class at school. He's really nice. Want to come play with us?"

The little girl had a strange bubbling feeling in the pit of her stomach. There was a burning anger she didn't quite understand. She didn't even know the boy, but she didn't like him. She didn't like that he was looking at her mermaid like a stupid puppy. It made her mad. So instead of going to play with her new friend, she coolly declined.

"No. I'm going to go play with my friends."

"Okay. Well, have fun." Emily smiled at her before swimming away.

She'd never gotten her name. She'd only find out years later that it was Alison DiLaurentis.

*** 7 years later ***

It was Alison who made her realize that she liked girls. And it made her feel a little more in control in her life. So when she met Maya seven years later and she felt a connection it didn't scare her.

At thirteen, she hadn't come out to her parents yet. She loved them and she trusted them. They'd been through so much together. But she also knew that they held certain values. And it made her nervous to consider how they'd react to finding out she was gay. Her mom more-so than her dad.

Emily had just gotten settled in her room at Johns Hopkins. She was comfortable there because she knew the doctor, Doctor St. Germain. He'd been in charge of one of her earlier treatments when she was younger. He'd already done his exam and had talked to her parents.

Emily really liked him. Out of all the doctors she'd ever had, he made her feel the most at ease. He was cool and relaxed and his attitude just made her feel like she was going to be okay. He'd even told her to call him 'Nate' and made a quip about how, "Dr. St. Germain is my father". Then he'd whispered, "He's not really a doctor. He's a professor. But we call him 'doctor' anyway to make him feel special."

She liked that Nate was so personable. She liked that he wasn't treating her like someone who was dying. He treated her like a normal person. Even her mother commented on what amazing bedside manner he had. It's why they felt even remotely comfortable leaving Emily in his hands.

After they got her checked in and filled out all of her paperwork her parents had gone to take their things to the apartment they'd rented. Emily didn't mind being alone. Sometimes having her parents there made her feel more anxious. But when she was alone she could read and listen to her music and watch TV.

Sometimes she had some trouble seeing. Sometimes her vision was blurry, but other times she could see just fine. She never knew when a blinding flash would hit her, though over the years she'd slowly learned that depending on the severity of her headaches sometimes she could feel a blackout coming.

A few hours after her parents left, a nurse came by to take her vitals. She'd told her it was almost time for dinner and then left a menu with Emily. It was pretty slim pickings, but Emily wasn't expecting anything fancy. She was so busy staring at her choices that she didn't see the curious pair of eyes watching her from the hallway.

"Little tip, stay away from the meat and gravy," a sweet bouncy voice startled her. "And anything with cheese. Their cheese tastes like a sweatsock. The best thing they have is the fries and baked potatoes. Anything with starch. Their mac and cheese is pretty good, because they use the fake cheese. Chocolate cake is dry and tastes like dirt. But they have a pretty good selection of pies."

"Uh, thanks…" Emily smiled, looking up at the girl in the doorway.

She was beautiful by all standards. Dark voluptuous skin. Beautiful brown eyes. Her smile was what captivated her though. There was something so kind and so genuine about it. She looked like she could cause trouble one second and then sweet talk her way out of it the next.

The girl sauntered into the room. She flitted when she walked, like she was floating with ease. When she stepped into the light Emily saw the white bracelet around her wrist. The same bracelet Emily had on her wrist. She saw a bandaged up port on her inner-arm.

"So, where are you from, new girl?" The girl asked.

"A little of everywhere." Emily answered. "I move around."

"That's all I get?" She questioned. "No details? No sordid history?" She walked closer.

Emily chuckled softly and sat up against the edge of the bed.

"Wait, don't tell me. You're…in the witness protection. Running from the mob." Her eyes lit up. "No, you're…secretly a criminal mastermind and you're looking for a place to lie low. Oh, are you an undercover actress, method acting for a role? I think you look like an actress."

"You talk a lot."

"Motormouth Maya." She stopped when she reached the edge of the bed. "That's what my stupid brother used to call me when we were little. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Nope. Just me." Emily felt a strange electricity between them.

"You got a name me?"

"Emily."

"Like Emily Dickinson?"

"I'm more of a Brontë fan."

"Oh, you rebel." Maya smirked. "I'm a little bit of a LeBron-të fan mystelf. Master of the court. My dad and brother worship the guy. I don't get it, but I love him by association."

Emily laughed at her pun.

"So, what are you in for?" Maya asked.

"Huh?"

"What's killing you?"

"Wow, you really don't beat around the bush, do you?" Emily couldn't help but laugh.

"Nothing like wasting time when you're wasting away."

"That's morbid."

"Is it? I didn't mean for it to be. I just meant that we've got to make every second count." Maya sat down against the edge of her bed. "So, what ails you, new girl?"

"Optic Nerve Glioma. Glioblastoma."

"Ohh, that's a toughie," Maya said. "But I've got you beat." She pat her leg. "Osteosarcoma." She pulled her gown up to reveal a large thick scar on her lower leg extending from her ankle to her knee. "It does not tickle the funny bone."

"Ouch. Stage?"

"Two. But it's localized." Maya glanced up at her. "How about you? Is yours primary or secondary?"

"I'm that rare ten percent. Secondary. Slow growing."

"Radiation?" Maya asked.

"Twice. You?"

"Four times. I'm going for the record of five. What about chemo?"

"You ask a lot of questions." Emily looked at her, intrigued.

"How else am I supposed to get to know you?"

"There you go again. Another question."

"Fine. Your turn. Ask me anything." Maya smiled.

Emily thought long and hard about it, leaving Maya in suspense. She wiggled like an impatient toddler.

"If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" Emily questioned.

"Look at you with the hard hitting questions. Impressive, new girl." Maya laughed.

"I have a name, you know…"

"Ooh, and bite, too. I like it."

"You still haven't answered my question." Emily chuckled softly.

Maya didn't even think about it before she replied.

"San Francisco."

"Really?" Emily was surprised. "All the places in the world, all the things to see…The Great Barrier Reef, the Grand Canyon, The Pyramids, The Great Wall of China, Stonehenge…and you're going with California?"

"I'm a simple person." Maya shrugged.

"You definitely don't strike me as simple." Emily disagreed. "There has to be a reason…"

Maya sighed, but her smile never faltered.

"My family is from San Jose," Maya said.

"But you said San Francisco."

"Jeeze, impatient, aren't you?" Maya shook her head with a laugh. "Let me finish."

"Sorry."

"There's a theater in San Francisco. Castro Theatre. It's this amazing theater that plays classics. My dad used to take me and my brother once a month. It was a long car ride, but it was so worth it. The architecture is amazing. It was built in the 1920s and it's got this really cool classic vibe that I jive with. It's my happy place. I just love movie theaters. I miss them. It's not the same watching from a hospital room with your lights out."

"Half the time you don't need the TV for entertainment. I've seen some wild stuff happen in the hospital after hours." Emily glanced towards the door. "One time I saw this teenager in his boxers high as a kite running from the nursing staff. He was using a plaster mold as a light saber and shouting that he would not go quietly into the night and then started singing Black Sabbath at the top of his lungs. Then he started pelting the staff with spaghetti from a food cart."

"That so did not happen!"

"It did." Emily looked at her. "Atlanta is a weird city."

"Children's Healthcare of Atlanta?" Maya guessed.

"How did you know that?"

"I research hospitals when I get bored." She put her palms flat against Emily's mattress and then leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "I think it's my turn to ask a question."

"Okay." Emily shrugged.

She looked at Emily for a few seconds before she continued.

"How bad is your vision?"

"It's fine right now. Could change tomorrow. I don't know. I get these flashes that come and go. I'll probably eventually be totally blind though," Emily replied. "Besides movies, what do you miss the most about being out in the world?"

"Hmm. The beach. I miss the beach. We moved here for my treatment years ago, and even though we've got the east coast beaches…it's nothing like the beaches in California." She sighed. "And I miss being out at the park from dawn until dusk…not having to worry about whether or not a grain of sand or a clump of dirt would send my body into sepsis." Maya drifted off in thought. "How many rounds of chemo have you had?"

"I never had any full treatments."

"How come?"

"Made me sicker. I had two short rounds when I was younger. The dosage they gave was just enough to make me puke all the time, but I didn't lose my hair."

Maya pulled the scarf off her head. It was unsurprising to Emily to see that she had very little hair, but she still looked beautiful.

"Eight rounds. Lost it a while ago. But I have some of the best wigs in the world. No joke. I've got one that makes me look just like Beyoncé."

Emily smiled.

"How about surgeries? How many have you had?" Maya asked.

"Two. Both non-invasive and experimental. Not counting biopsies."

"Yeah. I've had A LOT of those." Maya nodded. "And four surgeries. No amputations yet. They keep hacking off bones and fusing them back together. I'm kind of the Frankenstein of the hospital."

"Frankenstein was actually the doctor…"

"Oh, well…someone here is a literary genius." Maya scoffed. "That was a test. You passed."

"Why are you testing me?"

"I like my friends to be smart." She shrugged. "You in school?"

"I've been in and out of public school, but for the most part since I've been sick it's been homeschool and private tutors. My parents don't want me to fall behind. I guess they think I actually have a future or something."

"Oof, that's dark." Maya whistled. "So, how long have you been sick?"

"Uh…" She had to stop to add up the years in her head. "Six years. On and off."

"Got you beat in that respect, too. I was diagnosed when I was three. So, ten years, on and off, but mostly on."

"You're really competitive."

"Oh, yeah. I take my cancer very seriously." She made a faux hardened face. "So, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Well, I really love swimming. I was on a league back in Georgia." A peewee league, but still a league.

"Ah, so, you're a jock, huh? I bet you're good." Maya smirked. "You totally have the body for it."

Emily was a little surprised by her forwardness. Was she flirting? How did she even know how to flirt? They were still awkward tweens. At least, that's how Emily felt. She wasn't sure how to respond.

"Do you have a favorite stroke?" Maya asked.

"The butterfly."

"Of course. You would like the swim move named after something so bright and happy. I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Little Miss Sunshine."

"Says the girl from California." Emily bit back with a playful laugh.

"California isn't the sunshine state. Florida is. Cali is the golden state. And the traffic state. Not exactly conducive to creating sunny attitudes."

"Well, I was born in Pennsylvania. So wouldn't that make me Little Miss Keystone?"

"Come on. A smile like that?" Maya motioned to her face. "You're all sun. You practically radiate rainbows and unicorns."

"Maybe I have a dark side. You don't know."

"What would that even look like? A starry night filled with fluffy bunnies and kittens?"

"And butterflies." Emily added, lifting her brows.

"I like butterflies." Maya subtly moved her hand closer to Emily's. Their fingers brushed against one another. Emily cleared her throat and pulled back shyly. It didn't faze Maya. "They're actually one of my favorite things in the world. I went to a butterfly sanctuary once and they were everywhere…" Her eyes glazed over with a bright affection. "There were so many. Different sizes, different colors. It was beautiful. They're really an incredible species. They fight their whole lives to emerge from the shell of their past selves. And when they do they bring this gorgeous gift to the world. It's rare to find something so amazing…so special."

She faced Emily. Emily swallowed nervously. The way Maya looked at her made her feel something. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.

They heard footsteps and they turned towards the door. Nate was walking into the room, his eyes glued to something on the chart in his hands.

"Okay, Emily, your bloodwork looks good, so…" He glanced up and saw the two girls sitting side by side. "Maya, you shouldn't be out of bed."

"I feel fine." Maya shrugged.

"That's not the point." He frowned at her. "You know the rules."

"My white cell count is fine." She waved him off.

"Again, not the point. You know we have different treatment protocols for everyone. You know better than to jeopardize that."

"God, you're such a buzzkill." Maya scoffed. She faced Emily, throwing her thumb up at Nate. "He can't handle that I'm like an uber mega big deal here."

Nate shot her a look that looked like a lot more than a doctor scolding his patient.

"Behave." Nate warned.

"You are such a goody-two-shoes." Maya stood up. "No wonder mom and dad like me better."

Emily glanced at Nate, and then she peered at Maya. Then she looked at Nate again. Their likeness was uncanny. She whipped her head towards Maya.

"Wait, he's…"

"Yeah, my big dumb brother." Maya walked towards the door.

"Your big dumb brother who is working on trying to save his ungrateful little sister's life." He waved her towards the door.

"Catch you later, new girl." Maya gave her a cheeky grin as she stopped at the door and glanced over her shoulder at Emily.

She gave her brother a defiant look as she disappeared. Nate walked over to Emily's bedside and put down her chart. He closed the distance between them. Now that she'd met Maya, all she could see when she looked at Nate was her. He put his stethoscope in his ears and lifted the drum of it against her chest.

When he leaned over her she could smell the same scent his sister had. She found herself wondering where Maya had been the last time she'd been here for treatment. She waited until he moved the chest piece of the stethoscope and then she addressed her curiosity.

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"Don't let her tough girl act fool you. She's a total softie." Nate put his palm against her shoulder and smiled, putting the stethoscope against her back. "Take a breath for me."

Emily did as she was told. He nodded in approval. He pulled his stethoscope out of his ears and then faced Emily.

"I'm going to check your lymph nodes, okay?"

Emily nodded. She liked that he told her what was going on. Even though she knew the drill by now, she'd had so many doctors in the past just poke her and touch her without warning. He seemed to be so much more sensitive to her needs. Not to mention, he wasn't just a doctor anymore. He was Maya's brother. And for some wild reason she trusted him implicitly.

"You know, my sister is actually the reason I went into medicine," he massaged the side of her neck, his fingers making gentle circles as he felt for any swelling.

"She said she's been sick since she was three," Emily said.

"Never slowed her down a bit." Nate chuckled.

He had a soft expression on his face. One that told Emily that despite their bickering and despite Maya giving him a hard time...they were close.

"She used to run circles around me when we were younger, even in the hospital. Even when she was tired."

"So, you guys grew up around medicine?"

"To put it mildly." He nodded. "Maya seems to think it was my destiny."

"Looks like she was right."

"She's been pushing me since the day she was born."

"How does a newborn have control over anything?"

"Well," He leaned against the back of the chair next to her bed. "For one thing, she wasn't breathing when she was born. My mom went into spontaneous labor when she was driving me to camp one day. My dad was at a continuing education seminar fifty miles away. So it was just me and my mom on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I called 911 like she told me to, but Maya was impatient. She didn't want to wait on the ambulance. It was a difficult labor and mom was passing out, so the 911 operators talked me through what to do. And when she came out and she wasn't making any noise or moving I realized she wasn't breathing. They guided me through CPR and a few minutes later she was screaming and red-faced and angry. And she's been a pain in my neck ever since."

"Wow. You'd think she'd have a little more respect for you." Emily laughed.

"You would think that." Nate nodded with a smile. He stood up.

"So when you got older and she was sick you went to med school for her?"

"I did."

"You really take your big brother duties seriously."

"Everyone has a calling. At least that's what Maya thinks." He jotted something down in her chart. "You're in good shape right now, kiddo. As soon as your mom and dad get back I'll talk to them about our next step, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"Stay out of trouble until then." He smiled at her.

Emily nodded, but she had a smile on her face. Nate glanced at Emily and he saw the look in her eyes. He knew that Maya had wormed her way into Emily's heart already. He knew the two of them were going to be heaps of trouble.

Over the course of the next two weeks the two of them found ways to ditch their families and doctors and sneak off to meet one another. They slowly started to form a friendship that would change their lives and the lives of everyone who knew them.

Sometimes there were days where one or both of them were too tired from their medications or treatments for adventures, so they'd text one another or send covert messages with the nurses, who loved playing along with their game.

Emily's parents were with her a lot of the time, but she never really talked about Maya to them. It felt like she had something all to herself for once.

Maya knew all the ins and outs of the hospital. She showed Emily all of her favorite hiding places. She showed her the best places to spy on nurses and doctors taking their breaks. Sometimes they'd overhear really good gossip. She also gave Emily inside information on how to sneak into the kitchen in the cafeteria. They'd make off with some of their favorite treats and go to rarely used stairwells or the roof, which was one of Maya's favorite places. It was supposed to be restricted access, but Maya knew how to bypass everything.

Maya loved everything outdoors. The sun. The sky. The stars. She liked to go out at all times of the day and night. And she took Emily with her sometimes. They'd hang out and eat pudding cups and talk about their favorite movies and what they wanted to do when they were cancer-free.

Maya was very optimistic about her future. She was certain she'd get to go on all kinds of grand adventures. The exploits they had in the hospital were just the beginning for her.

One day she stopped by Emily's room when Emily's parents were out to lunch.

"Hey, new girl, wanna have some fun?" Maya leaned against the doorframe.

That's all she'd had to say to get Emily out of bed.

"You're going to get me in all kinds of trouble, aren't you?" Emily asked.

"Hope so." She grinned.

"Where are your parents?" Emily laughed. "Do they know what a rogue child they have on their hands?"

"Do yours?" Maya questioned.

"Not a clue."

"It's because you're an only child. I bet you could get away with murder." Maya lifted her brows mischievously.

"That's not what you have in mind, is it?"

"Only if you cross me," Maya said playfully. She glanced at the clock. "I've got about two hours before my parents get back from dinner with my aunt and uncle."

"What do you have in mind?" Emily questioned.

"I want to show you something." Maya took her hand.

It startled Emily, because they didn't often get too close. They weren't supposed to, because they were both easily susceptible to illness. But Maya was a risk-taker. She pulled Emily along through the corridors of the hospital, careful to avoid the busy areas so they wouldn't get caught.

They went through an area of the hospital that was closed for construction. Maya slowed down when they got to a cordoned off area. There was a little makeshift tent in the corner past a bunch of building materials and hospital equipment. Emily trailed behind her, a little uncertain.

"Is it safe to be here?" Emily ran her fingers across a film of dust on an old operating table.

"They haven't worked on this area in months. I think they're in the middle of a contract battle or something." Maya walked over to a large sheet draped over a couple of chairs. She pulled the flap open. Inside there was a little LED lantern, a few books, and sketchpads with doodles on them.

"I come here to create." Maya waved Emily over.

Emily followed her. She looked at some of the sketches. Most of them were of clothing. Maya wanted to be a fashion designer. But she also had journals with poetic phrases written on them. They crawled into the tent. When they settled in, Emily looked at their surroundings again.

"It nice. Quaint."

"But?" Maya could sense her resistance.

"But…kinda dusty." She shrugged. "What if this place has like…asbestos or something?"

"What? Are you afraid you'll get cancer of the cancer?" Maya teased her.

"Good point." Emily nodded. "Are we going to get in trouble for being here?"

"I swear, you spend way too much time thinking about things. That's not how you're supposed to live." Maya laughed. "Lighten up a little, Fields."

"Your brother is going to kill us."

"We're already dying."

"Well, that's inspired." Emily huffed sarcastically.

"What? It's true. Dying is a side effect of living. It's not just us. Everyone has to meet their fate sooner or later. It's why we should live while we're alive." Maya reached back for a small black fabric case. She looked at Emily before unzipping the side. "You mind if I smoke a little weed?"

"Now? Here?" Emily asked in surprise.

"Ohhh, is this new girl's first time?" Maya laughed.

"No." Emily said, almost defensively. An uneasy bashful smile crossed her face. "Maybe."

"Am I corrupting you?" Maya asked in excitement.

"No. I just…didn't know you were into pot."

"We have cancer, Em. I mean, haven't you tried it?"

"I was on an experimental trial with it a while back, but I never smoked it. How'd you get your hands on it? I'm guessing this isn't prescription?"

"I'm from Cali. I know all the right people in the wrong places." Maya tapped her fingers against the small case. "I won't if you don't want me to."

"No. It's just…won't we get in trouble for doing this here?"

"Please, there are far worse drugs that are prescribed here every day. Shit that's worse for us than this. They literally inject us with poison to kill the bad cells. Besides, this is the only thing that even touches the pain in my bones and helps with my nausea. So if it doesn't bother you…"

"Go ahead."

She watched as Maya pulled out a long slender thing that looked like a cigarette. It was twisted at the end. Emily wasn't completely ignorant. She knew what a blunt looked like. Maya pulled out a clear pink lighter. She put the blunt in between her lips and lit up the end. She sucked in a breath and pulled the blunt away from her lips. She held her breath for a few seconds.

"Want to try?" Maya blew some smoke out away from Emily, so as not to get it in her face. "It won't mess up anything in your treatment or anything. The bloodwork they're running is for antibodies and markers. They're not looking for THC."

Emily stared at it curiously. She'd had a headache for three days straight. It's not like it could hurt. She surprised Maya when she reached for it.

"Little Miss Sunshine really does have a dark side." Maya laughed. Her smile faded. "You don't really have to. I wasn't trying to pressure you or anything…"

Emily couldn't help but laugh and roll her eyes. Everyone assumed that just because she had an innocent face that she was innocent. Emily wasted no time in taking a toke. She held her breath for a few seconds before she felt a strange tickling in her throat. She heaved out a cough and then went into a coughing fit. She felt her eyes watering and her throat and lungs burning. She found herself wondering how people did it while managing to look cool. Her coughing settled and she handed it back to Maya.

"You okay?" Maya questioned, a sincerity in her tone.

"Yeah." Emily cleared her throat. The burning was gone. "I'm good."

"That was a lot for your first try." Maya glanced at the crafted cigarette in her hand. She reached over and pulled out a small bottle of water and handed it to Emily. "Drink this. It'll help with the sore throat."

Emily recognized the bottle from the cafeteria. She assumed Maya had boosted a bunch of them on a covert operation and now she had her own stash. Emily took several swigs and then put the bottle down. Maya took one more toke and then gently pressed her fingers against the twisted tip to put the embers out.

They stared at one another for a few minutes while they waited for the drugs to kick in. It was Maya who broke first. She peered at Emily and then snickered, laughing at some sort of inside joke that Emily wasn't privy to.

"What?" Emily asked, her face getting hot in embarrassment. Or perhaps it was from the drugs.

"You're Emily Blunt now."

There was a beat of silence and then Emily snorted out a laugh. She didn't feel anything at first. But then she felt a strange burning sensation in her ears. Her head felt like it was expanding. Her body felt tingly, lighter. Her brain felt relaxed. And the headache she'd been battling for days was nothing more than a tiny little blip on her radar.

She closed her eyes and it felt like she was sinking into the earth. She'd never been high before, not like this. She tilted her head up, her chin pointing towards the ceiling.

Maya watched her, completely entranced by her. Ever since Maya had met her she'd known there was something different about her. She saw the world in a way that Maya had never even thought about.

Maya put the blunt away and grabbed a small canister of hand sanitizer. She sprayed it into her hands, a foam bubble appearing in her palm. Emily opened her eyes and followed her lead. She put the hand sanitizer up and then sprayed a deodorizer around them and then on them, so the smell of the pot wouldn't linger on them. The finishing touch was breath mints. She gave one to Emily and then popped one into her mouth.

"Thank you," Emily said.

"No problem. I always have them on me, so if…"

"No. Not for that. For trusting me." Emily smiled.

Maya smiled back at her.

"I know what I'm getting into with you." Maya shrugged.

"Oh, really?"

"You're going to break my heart, new girl. I just know it." She dramatically threw the back of her hand up towards her forehead and used her other hand to fan herself like she was a dainty dandy girl from the 1920s. It made Emily giggle. "You'd better be worth it."

"You're insane." Emily teased her.

"We all go a little mad sometimes."

"Did you just quote Norman Bates at me?"

"Psycho is one of the most underrated movies of all time. The themes. The plot. The duality. Everything about it was fantastic. Even the set and the wardrobe." Her eyes suddenly lit up. "That reminds me. I got something for you." She reached behind a pile of pillows.

"I hope it's not a knife and a shower curtain. I mean, I liked the movie, but I don't really want to reenact it…"

Maya laughed and pulled a piece of folded fabric out.

"No murder. I promise. Just fashion." She started to unfold the clothing. "I saw this and I thought it was the greatest color on the planet." Maya reached forward and wrapped a red scarf around her neck. "And bright side? It can always double as a hair accessory, just in case."

Emily looked down. The scarf was already starting to warm her neck up. She stroked it with her fingertips. It felt soft and silky. She couldn't stop touching it. It took her a few minutes to realize it was the weed enhancing everything.

"It's beautiful." Emily smiled. "I feel like Audrey Hepburn."

"Please." Maya scoffed. "Audrey Hepburn has nothing on you."

Emily felt her cheeks get hot again. Maya seemed to do that to her a lot. She knew she was flirting, but she'd yet to say anything back about it. Instead, she acted like a goof. She made several vogue poses and pushed her lips out like someone in Hollywood might do.

"I'm ready for my close up."

Maya laughed so hard that she snorted. She pushed Emily's arm playfully.

"You're such a dork, Emily."

They fell back against a pile of pillows, both of them rolling on their sides to face one another. Emily was still laughing. Maya was giggling. Emily smiled warmly at her. Their laughter faded. Maya saw a strand of hair that had gone astray. She reached up to move it out of Emily's face, but then hesitated and pulled back. Emily felt her mouth get dry, and she wasn't sure if it was a side effect of smoking or if she was nervous. They stared at one another.

"So, when did you know you were in to girls?" Maya questioned curiously.

"What?" Emily asked, flustered by the outright assumption. "How did you…"

"It's a sixth sense. You pinged my bi-fi the second I met you."

"Oh, so you're…"

"Pretty fluid." Maya nodded. "But I prefer girls." She smiled. "So, what's your story?" She paused and then added, "…if you want to tell it. If you're not comfortable we can talk about something else." She gave her an out. "God, I totally didn't mean to out you if you weren't ready. Sometimes I really don't think before I speak."

"No, it's okay." Emily felt more than comfortable. "I…" She thought about it. She'd never said it out loud. She kind of knew though. "I think I might be gay."

"You think?"

"I mean, I'm pretty sure. I've never had feelings for a boy. I look at them, and I see when someone is handsome or good looking, but it just doesn't do anything for me. I feel awkward around them. And not that nervous kind of awkward that gives you butterflies in your stomach because you're thinking about kissing them. It's like I'm afraid they're going to want more. And I don't want to give it to them. Because I don't like them like that. I figured that out when I was five when I kissed this little boy in my kindergarten class. He was really nice and cute and funny. But I couldn't make myself feel the way I feel when I see a pretty girl."

"Is that the only boy you've ever kissed?"

Emily cringed.

"No. There was this one boy in my class in middle school who forced me to kiss him. He forced me against the wall and tried to shove his tongue down my throat. I panicked. It made me physically sick to my stomach. I kicked him in the nuts and ran away. I went home sick that day because it made me feel so gross."

"What an asshole." Maya's nostrils flared. "Give me a name and an address. I've spent enough time in a hospital to know how to murder someone and make it look like natural causes."

"You're terrifying."

"All four feet of me." Maya nodded. "What are the cops going to do? Give me a death sentence?"

Emily rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"So, what lucky girl caught the attention of the renowned Mrs. Hepburn?" She played with the scarf on Emily's neck.

"I was at the pool one day and there was this…blonde girl." She thought about the little blue-eyed blonde and she felt her cheeks burning. "I remember thinking that she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. I was drawn in by everything about her. The way she carried herself. The way the world seemed to revolve around her. And the way she didn't seem to care what other people thought about her. I watched her all day. Not…not in a creepy way or anything. It was just hard to look anywhere else."

"Ooh, love at first sight." Maya twitched in excitement. "I dig that."

"I mean, I don't know. Not exactly. I don't know if she even saw me. There were a lot of people there. The only reason we even talked is because she fell into the water and got in over her head. I jumped in after her and helped her get to the side."

"Did she throw her arms around you and kiss you and call you her hero?"

"No." Emily laughed. "We were only five."

"Wait…hold up. You were giving this girl the puppy dog eyes when you were a fetus? That is adorable." Maya cooed. "What happened with your little siren of the sea?"

"I don't know." Emily sighed. "I think about her sometimes. Dream about her. Wonder where she is and what she's up to."

"Girl, that's what social media is for. You can find out what anyone is up to."

"I'm not into social media," Emily said.

"How do you keep up with friends?"

"My best friend Hanna and I talk on the phone all the time. And I go to visit her sometimes, and she comes to visit me. I've got some friends in Pennsylvania, but for the most part I've moved around so much that the only friends I've got are my family and the kids I meet in the hospital."

"Like me."

Emily smiled and nodded, a strange shy look on her face. Maya was trying to read her, trying to find out if she wanted more. It would be stupid and reckless, but Maya loved stupid and reckless. Maya inched closer to Emily's face. Emily took a shaky breath. She got a whiff of Maya's aroma. She smelled like bubblegum and minty pine. They peered into each other's eyes.

"Have you ever met anyone who made you feel like that girl at the pool did?" Maya questioned curiously.

"I've met pretty girls who make me feel warm and safe. But she wasn't like that. She was…" Emily tried to think of the right words to describe her. "I don't just want safe. I want passion. And I want to feel my heart going so fast that it feels like there are a thousand butterflies swirling around in my chest."

"You want a connection." Maya understood.

"Yeah." Emily nodded. "And it's not easy to find, especially since my parents don't know about me...being gay. Kinda keeps the romance aspect of my life impossible."

"That and the cancer." Maya pointed out.

"You have a way with words."

"I've been told." Maya finally found the courage to reach out and move the stray hair in Emily's face.

"Have you ever been in love?" Emily questioned.

"I don't know." Maya pondered in thought. "Ask me again in a few weeks."

Emily moved forward, closing the distance between them. Their lips were so close that they were practically touching.

"Emily, have you ever even kissed a girl?"

Emily smiled nervously.

"You're the first person I've ever told," she said softly.

"That doesn't answer my question."

Emily reached up to touch Maya's cheek with her fingertips. They inched closer, but before anything could happen there was a loud clatter and then someone cursing under their breath. The girls shot up. There was another clanging noise around the corner.

"I thought you said no one ever comes in here." Emily whispered.

"They don't." Maya grabbed a pillow, yanking the cheap stuffed pillow out of the case. She grabbed her books and journals and put them in the pillowcase.

"We should get out of here." Emily reached for Maya's hand.

"Someone in here?" A voice called out.

They scrambled out of the tent, both of them laughing and out of breath. Maya was gripping Emily's fingers with one hand and the pillowcase with her other. Emily's heart was pounding. She felt like she was moving through molasses because of her heightened senses. The walls looked like they were moving. Emily squinted and then blinked hard in the low lighting of the room. Maya took charge, pulling Emily away from her little hiding spot. They stumbled a few feet away, but Emily suddenly dug her heels against the floor.

"Wait. The drugs, Maya," Emily said hastily.

"Don't worry about it. I have more."

"So not what I meant."

"Hello?" The voice called.

"This way." Maya guided Emily through some dated hospital equipment covered in thick plastic.

Emily felt like she was going through an obstacle course. Maya stopped when they reached a door that led to the stairwell. It was chained shut.

"That's new." She frowned.

They heard the footsteps getting closer. Emily spun around. She looked towards the unfinished windows and suddenly got an idea.

"Come on." Emily pulled her towards the windows. "We can use the scaffolding to get over and then take the stairs down."

"Whoa, this isn't a circus act, Fields." Maya pumped the brakes.

"It's like three feet." Emily pushed the unfinished window pane open just enough for them to squeeze through. She reached back and took Maya's hand again. "Live while we're alive, right?"

"Emily Fields, you are one buckle short of a straitjacket." Maya shook her head.

But she followed her outside anyway. They got across the scaffolding with no problem. Minutes later they were dashing through the halls, laughing about their gravity-defying act. Maya stopped by her room to drop her things off and then they went back to Emily's room.

Emily fell back on to the cot next to her bed with a satisfied sigh. She'd never felt more exhilarated in her life. Maya plopped in the chair next to her cot, the chair that Emily's dad slept in almost every night. They were uncomfortable and not at all practical.

"Not bad for a day's adventure, huh?" Maya reached up and put her hands underneath her head, her elbows flexing outward. She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before she turned to face Emily.

"I could get used to it." Emily nodded eagerly.

"Stick with me and life will never be boring. I've only got one stipulation. We don't get attached. You're not allowed to fall in love with me." Maya smirked.

"You drive a hard bargain." Emily tried to keep a poker face, but she burst into laughter.

Her laughter made Maya laugh. They hung out and talked for a little while, their highs wearing off. Emily was getting settled back into her bed and Maya was just getting ready to leave when they heard someone shuffling towards the room.

"Hey, sweetie, I got you some of that gelato you really like…" Pam stopped mid-sentence, surprised to see Maya in the room. "Oh, I didn't realize you had company."

She sounded nervous. But it was only because she knew that the hospital had rules about patients being around one another when they were being treated. Emily quickly tried to smooth it over.

"Mom, this is Maya St. Germain."

Pam nodded slowly as the name registered.

"St. Germain…"

"My brother." Maya helped her connect the dots.

"Of course." Pam smiled. "He's mentioned you before. It's nice to finally meet you."

She went in for a handshake, but Maya was a big hugger. She immediately bypassed Pam's extended arm and wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh." Pam uttered out a surprised laugh.

Maya pulled back and smiled at her.

"It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Fields. I was just stopping in to give Emily a scarf I thought she'd like. I have so many of them already." Maya gave her a charming smile.

Pam fell into her little sugary act. Emily watched as Maya smooth-talked her mother. It was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. And when Maya flittered away Pam watched her go with a curious expression.

"She's a quirky little thing." Pam sat down in the chair next to Emily's bed.

She completely missed the smitten smile on Emily's face. Emily didn't even care that they'd probably get in trouble for what they'd done. She kept waiting for Nate to come in and call her out, but when he did finally drop in it was to check on her. He didn't say anything about her misadventures with his sister.

Emily was exhausted that night, though she found the energy to eat the gelato her mother had brought for her. It was the first time in a long time that she'd been able to finish something that didn't make her feel like barfing. Sometimes she couldn't eat regular food. A lot of the time it was because she was nauseated. But she also had procedures where she had to be sedated and she couldn't eat before them. So when she was actually able to eat something and enjoy it she was happy.

Emily and Maya both had their ups and downs, but they always found joy in being together. When things were rough for one of them, the other was there.

Two weeks after their misadventures, Emily had a seizure and hit her head and had to go in for a procedure to reduce the swelling in her brain. Maya was there with Emily's parents when she woke up. Nate hadn't even tried to get her out of the room, because he knew it was no use. Their parents didn't see the way Maya and Emily looked at one another, but Nate certainly did.

Three weeks later when Maya had a reaction to her chemo and was put in a medically induced coma, Emily read to her every day and talked about all the things she was missing out on. And when Maya woke up the first thing she'd done was teased Emily about her hospital gown, which was covered in baby ducklings. Emily had grabbed it out of the children's ward after one of the nurses had gotten blood on her favorite shirt.

When Emily had to undergo anesthesia for her biopsies or procedures, Maya would make her a mix tape to listen to when she was coming out of it. When Maya got a poor scan or had to have surgery to scrape the tumor growing on her tibia Emily decorated her room with butterfly décor.

As the weeks went by they played more "getting to know you" games. Maya found out that Emily loved Blues music. Emily found out that Maya was allergic to shellfish. Maya learned that Emily liked old TV shows and musicals because she bonded with her mom and her best friend over them. Emily learned that Maya had a fascination with food…particularly cooking. She dreamed of opening her own restaurant someday.

There was never a dull moment when the two of them were together. They became more than a support system, more than just friends.

Two days before Emily was set to have microblast radiation to shrink the tumor on her optical nerve Maya showed up to her room with the hospital's therapy dog and a large bag of presents to boost her mood. One pact they'd made to each other was to always try to keep the other positive, because attitude was everything in their situation.

They played with the dog until the handler had to go to another appointment. The visit with the dog made Emily feel a million times better. But Maya didn't stop there. She wanted to keep Emily company as long as she could.

She pulled out a few family-friendly board games and suggested they play a few rounds. Pam was hesitant at first, because she knew Maya needed to be in her room getting rest, and Emily need downtime, too. But Wayne told her to lighten up. He loved seeing his little girl smile.

Emily took it a step further when she suggested that her parents go take some time for themselves. It was equal parts looking out for her mom and dad and wanting to be alone with Maya. Emily had stayed alone overnight before, but Pam didn't like to leave her, so it was rare that it happened.

"You and dad should get some rest," Emily said, taking her mom's hand. "I'll be fine. Maya and I can make a girl's night of it." She faced her friend. "What do you say, Maya? Do you have plans tonight?"

"Hmm, let me think." Maya tapped on her chin like she was deep in thought. "If I cancel that trip to Scotland I was planning I think I'll be in the area."

Both girls laughed.

"I think it would be fun." Maya looked at Emily's parents and then back at Emily. "We could do mani-pedis and dish about the best hospital gossip."

"Okay." Wayne spoke up before Pam could decline. "Under one condition." His face was rigid and hard to read.

They looked at him in anticipation. Sometimes Emily wondered if her dad had figured out the truth about her sexuality.

Wayne's face softened and he smiled,

"You share that gossip with us when we get back."

"Deal." Emily laughed.

An hour later her parents had packed up and left. Maya peered out the door and waved at them innocently as they were walking towards the elevator. The second they turned the corner she turned around and walked over to Emily. She grabbed the bag she'd brought, which had some movies and beauty supplies. She pulled some clothes out of the bottom of the bag and tossed an outfit on to Emily's bed.

"Put these on. They should be your size."

"Aren't we a little old to play dress up?" Emily picked up the shirt.

"We're going out." Maya lifted her brows mischievously.

"Wait, like out out?" Emily asked in confusion. "How are we going to pull that off?"

"Your last bed check was twenty minutes ago, right? You're not due for anything else for another two hours. My next dosage of meds isn't until ten."

"You know, if you put half as much effort into your homework as you put into your schemes you could probably get into some place like Harvard or Yale…"

"Like I'm going to college?" Maya scoffed. "When I bust out of here I'm taking a sabbatical. I'm going to travel. Backpack through Europe. See the wonders of the world. Who needs college when you've got the world at your fingertips?"

Maya grabbed another outfit from the bag. She let her hospital gown go slack and she pulled a shirt on over her head. She was careful not to jostle her PICC line and her IV port. She put a stylish looking jacket on over her top. She used it to make sure she was fully covered. Then she slipped her hospital bracelet up the sleeve and folded the openings of the sleeves of the jacket up, keeping the bracelet in place. She pulled her jeans over her legs. She quickly fixed one of her wigs atop her head.

"You brought your party wig." Emily smiled.

"Let's get our party on." Maya nodded.

Emily changed out of her hospital clothes and followed her lead. They waited until the coast was clear and then Maya led the way. Emily didn't actually think they'd get very far, so when they made it out into the ambulance bay without being caught she felt her heart leaping into her chest.

"Where are we going?" Emily whispered.

"You'll see. Come on."

Of all the places that Emily thought they might end up, she did not expect it to be a college party. When she followed Maya through the door she was sure that everyone there would take one look at them and know how incredibly young they were. They were just kids. But everyone was too drunk and too stoned to notice.

They spent half an hour playing games and watching drunk college kids do wild flips into the pool and tap kegs.

They stayed away from the alcohol and the drugs and kept an eye on each other. For a while, they were in their own little bubble. But then a couple of bitchy sorority sisters singled them out.

"You're not our pledges." A tall curly-haired brunette sneered at the smaller girls. "Who are you?"

"What's it to you?" Maya asked defensively.

"Do you hear this bitch?" The brunette asked the two girls flanking her. She stared at the wig atop Maya's head. "What's with the dead rat on your head? A fashion statement?"

"Looks a hundred times better than your face." Maya clapped back.

"What did you say to me, you little shit?"

Emily put herself between Maya and the girls.

"We just came to have a good time." Emily tried to play peacemaker.

"Oh, you want to have a good time?" She asked in a taunting manner. "I'll show you a good time. Girls, grab the hot wax and the feathers." She reached out and closed her hand around Maya's wrist and pulled her forward.

Seeing Maya being manhandled unleashed something primal inside of Emily. She didn't stand for anyone hurting the people she cared about.

"Let her go!" Emily's face flushed red in anger.

She reached over and grabbed a cup full of beer. When the girls turned around Emily showered them with the contents. The girl who had a grip on Maya let her go and Maya backed away from her.

"Ugh, what the fuck?" The dark-haired leader snarled. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"That's none of your business." Emily stood in front of Maya protectively.

"How old are you?" One of the girl's eyed them suspiciously. She had a bitchy façade, but unlike her Queen Bee, she looked like she was all talk.

"Let's just say a number higher than your IQ." Maya shrugged.

"Huh?" The blonde next to her slurred drunkenly.

Emily saw the girls closing in again. She quickly thought on her feet.

"Oh, crap, the cops are here."

When the girls spun around, she grabbed Maya's hand and they disappeared into the crowd. They went looking for a place to lie low for a few minutes, finding a quiet area with a photobooth.

"See, that's why I don't want to go to college. Makes people so entitled." Maya shook her head. "Hey, thanks for having my back."

"No problem."

"I didn't mean to put you in the line of fire. Normally I know how to handle them. They just caught me off-guard. Girls like that are always the same."

"You deal with a lot of girls like that?" Emily asked.

"Uh, no. I usually run from those girls."

"You seem like a person who wouldn't run from anyone." Emily was surprised.

Maya didn't respond. She just pulled Emily behind the curtain of the photobooth. They sat down inside.

"So, what should we do?" Maya looked at the camera. "Silly faces?" She glanced at Emily and stuck her tongue out and winked at her. "Or serious faces?" She stuck her lips out into a pout and gave her best sultry look.

"Let's just wing it." Emily pressed a button. It started counting down from 15, giving them time to think it over.

"If these turn out good I might slip it to the DMV when I get my license. I'm not exactly photogenic. In most of my pictures I skip scary and go straight to Snooki."

"If it makes you feel any better, I hate the way I look in pictures. Kinda makes me glad I'm going to go blind." She tried to brighten Maya's spirits.

"Oh, please. You've probably never taken a bad photo in your life. You're crazy beautiful."

They glanced at one another as the ticker reached zero. Maya pulled Emily in close to her face and they both mugged for the camera. They snickered. The screen started counting down again. This time it was 7 seconds. They both stuck their tongues out and made the silliest faces they could think of. They posed like models in the third photo.

Emily looked at Maya as the clock started counting down again. She brushed the backs of her knuckles against Maya's face. Maya reached up with the palm of her hand and cupped her cheek. Emily moved in to kiss her as the last flash went off, capturing their picture. Emily pulled back and saw Maya smiling.

"Let's see how they turned out." Maya moved towards the curtain and climbed out of the booth.

Emily's whole face felt hot. She'd never done anything like that before. When she followed Maya out she saw her admiring the snapshots.

"Aww, we look cute." Maya showed Emily before pocketing the strip.

Maya didn't say anything about the kiss as they walked towards the large kitchen area. There were all kinds of dishes set out for people to pick and choose from. It was like a potluck dinner. Maya spotted something that looked good to her. She knew she'd probably be puking it up later, but she didn't care. She was here to have a good time.

"Is that squid?" Emily noticed a dish that looked like onion rings.

"Seems like this place has some connections." Maya was impressed.

They sat down on two empty bar stools. Neither one of them said anything for a few seconds. Emily felt a strange tension in the air.

"Hey, back in the photobooth…was I…was that too forward?" Emily frowned, worried that she'd screwed something up.

"Relax, Em. I wanted to. I'm not going to run away screaming or anything." Maya smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She put her elbows down against the kitchen island. "I'm not leaving until I get my calamari."

"So, I rank below seafood." Emily pushed her playfully. "Good to know."

"Took you long enough, new girl." Maya smiled. "I thought you'd never make a move."

Emily smiled back at her.

They topped off their evening by eating some of their favorite foods, which they both knew they were going to regret in the morning.

After that they made their way back to the hospital. Emily's room was just as they'd left it. They changed out of their party gear. Emily had just gotten back into bed when her nurse came in with her evening meds.

Shortly after that Nate came in for his rounds. He could tell that the two of them had been up to something.

"Do I want to know?" he asked.

"Probably not." Maya shook her head.

"What's it going to take for you to get it through that thick skull of yours to stop being so reckless?" He sighed.

"It was my idea." Emily piped in.

"Nice try." Nate shook his head with a laugh. "But I know that guilty face." He shook his finger disapprovingly at his little sister.

"Be nice to me. I have cancer."

"Ah, no. You can't pull that card with me." Nate scolded her. "Get back to bed, Maya."

"But we were gonna have a sleepover."

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on. Can't you find it in your heart to let us have the movie marathon of our dreams?" Maya plucked some movies out of her bag. "Please?" She stuck her lips out in a pout.

Nate frowned at her. They had a mini stare-off. Nate blinked first.

"Alright, one movie."

Emily and Maya both squealed in excitement. Nate checked Emily's ocular pressure and did his exam. He told them he would be watching them and that they needed to be careful about getting too close. He didn't want either one of them getting sick. He was most concerned about Emily since she had a radiation treatment coming up. He looked at them one last time before leaving them to their own devices.

Maya popped the movie in to the old beat up DVD player that Emily's dad had set up for her.

"You really know how to work your brother." Emily laughed.

"He's a total sucker for the puppy dog eyes." Maya smiled. "So, do you have a side?" She asked, sitting down on the hospital cot.

"What?"

"Of the bed."

"I kind of sleep in the middle." Emily swallowed nervously.

"What a coincidence. I kind of sleep in the middle, too."

Maya wasn't shy about climbing into bed next to her. Emily didn't say anything. They watched a little bit of the movie.

"Maya?" Emily asked.

"Hmm?"

"What does tonight mean? I mean…for us?"

Maya turned to look at her, their faces close. For a few seconds she just stared at her, a soft expression on her face. Emily got lost in her mischievous brown eyes.

"I like to live my life in the gray area," Maya said, reaching up to draw a pattern of swirls against Emily's arm. "But the way I feel about you is crystal clear." She smiled. "I've never had that before."

"Neither have I."

"Then I guess we'll figure it out together."

"What about your rule? We're not supposed to fall in love."

"You're so impossibly naïve. I can't believe you thought there was any other outcome."

"Hey!" Emily cried playfully. She gently pushed Maya.

"Was that our first fight?" Maya teased.

"I don't know, but I am about to kick you out of bed." She laughed.

"Guess it's the couch for me then."

But Emily didn't kick her out. They cuddled up innocently and watched their movie.

That night changed everything. They were inseparable. As the weeks turned into months, they saw one another at their best and at their worst. And they lived with the knowledge that one day it could be their last time seeing one another.

*** 16 months later ***

Emily was having a tough time sleeping, because Maya had ended up in the ICU after she'd developed an infection after her latest procedure. So when Emily heard a commotion outside her room at 2 AM that Thursday morning she shot up in bed. She watched several doctors and nurses run by, towards the ICU.

Her first instinct was to climb out of bed. She grabbed her IV pole and started to get up. She felt a gentle pair of hands on her, carefully guiding her back to her bed.

"Emmy, go back to sleep." She heard her dad in the darkness.

"What's going on?" Emily asked. When she started to look towards the hallway again she saw the door to her room starting to block it. Her mother quietly closed it. "Is it Maya? Is she okay?"

"I'm sure she's fine." Pam tried to keep Emily from freaking out.

"Yeah." Wayne rubbed Emily's arm. "Someone probably just brought some doughnuts to the break room or something."

Emily wasn't stupid. She'd spent enough time in hospitals. She knew a crash code when she saw one. She knew the doctors were trying to save someone. She also knew that making a run for it was out of the question. Her parents would stop her before she could even get to the door.

She tried to argue with them, but she was too tired. So she ended up rolling over in her bed and grumbling under her breath. She didn't get any sleep that night.

The next morning she gave her parents the slip. Her father had gone to grab breakfast and her mother was in the bathroom. Emily unhooked her IV and made a frantic dash down the hallways, breathing heavily the entire time. She had no idea how she was going to get into the ICU, but she knew she had to get there.

She slipped into the on-call room and rooted around in the lost and found until she found a badge. Maya had been the one who had told her about it. Doctors and nurses dropped their badges all the time. She used it to get into the ICU and made a beeline for Maya's room.

She found it empty.

Her chest felt tight. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She scurried out of the ICU and made it to a waiting room before she collapsed into a chair and started to hyperventilate. She sat there and cried for several minutes. She managed to pull herself together and slowly started making her way back to her room.

When she was halfway there she heard a familiar voice.

"Em?"

She spun around when she heard her. Maya was sitting in a wheelchair, her leg in a cast.

"Maya!" Emily exclaimed, rushing to her side. "Are you okay? I thought…" She shuddered, "I went to the ICU and I couldn't find you…"

She moved forward and reached for her, but Maya held her hand up and shook her head. She was all for holding her hand, but even she knew that it wasn't a good idea when they were both weak and vulnerable.

"Don't. I might still be contagious."

Emily could tell that she still didn't feel well, and she could see that she was hurting. Sometimes in order to get at Maya's aggressive cancer the orthopedic doctors had to break her bones and pin them back together. It left her with a lot of pain. But she carried it well.

"Then what are you doing out of bed?" Emily gave her a soft look.

"I wanted to see you," Maya replied. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." She glanced at the ground. "I heard that someone died. I was scared it was you."

Emily sighed and sat down in a chair a few feet away from her. She nodded silently.

"I heard them come by my room last night." She looked up at Maya. "I thought it was you."

"Well, fret not, new girl. We live to see another day." Maya smiled weakly.

But someone else didn't get to live to see another day. Emily looked down at the floor with tears in her eyes. Sometimes she felt overwhelmed by her emotions. She was still shaky thinking about losing Maya. And about her own mortality. For the most part she looked on the bright side, but sometimes it was hard for her to contain her feelings.

"Em? What's wrong?" Maya asked. She had to stop herself from moving closer to her.

"I don't want to die," Emily said softly.

"We all die." Maya shrugged.

Emily huffed out a sad laugh. She couldn't force herself to look at Maya. She didn't want her to see the pain in her eyes. She cleared her throat and wiped her nose before taking a calming breath.

"Your brother is going to rip into you if you don't get back to your room."

"Psh, I'm not afraid of him." She smiled weakly.

"Well, are you afraid of me?" Emily asked. "Because if you don't get your butt back in bed and get some rest I'm going to beat you with an IV pole."

"You'd have to catch me first." Maya smirked. "And I've got wheels now." She rubbed her fingers against the chair's wheel. "I'll come see you as soon as I get the all clear."

"Yeah." Emily nodded, pushing herself to stand up.

"We'll be off on new adventures in no time."

Emily smiled and nodded in agreement. But she knew that they were both getting sicker. Maya knew it, too. But neither one of them felt at liberty to say it.

They had an unspoken understanding. They didn't talk about their possible demise, no matter how bad things looked. They tried to focus on the good things. Even when their cancer slowed them down they still found ways to be together.

*** 6 weeks later ***

New life was breathed into the children's ward when Maya's brother took on an unexpected new patient. A little girl. Three months old. She'd survived a terrible wreck that had killed her parents. When she was in the ER they'd flagged some of her bloodwork as abnormal.

Emily and Maya were curious about the baby. Nate had been pretty tight-lipped about the whole situation, just because he wasn't allowed to talk about it. But that didn't stop Emily and Maya from investigating it.

They waited until Nate was on call and then they slipped into the small nursery where the newest addition was being held for observation.

Nate was by the crib, listening to the little girl's heart. She was in a standard white and pink onesie. She was kicking her legs and cooing under her breath. She had a rattle in one hand and was suckling her fingers with her other.

Nate glanced over and saw them. He wanted to tell them to go back to their rooms, but he knew they wouldn't listen. Instead he waved them over, because he knew the sooner he introduced them to the baby the sooner they'd leave.

"Baby Doe?" Maya looked at the placecard at the front of the crib. "Oh, no. That will not stand. She needs a better name than that."

"She's so cute." Emily stepped up next to Nate.

The little girl turned to her. Emily waved and smiled and the little girl giggled.

"Looks like you're not the new kid anymore, Em." Maya walked to the other side of the crib. "How old is she?" She looked over at her brother.

"We're estimating around 3 to 4 months. We don't know much about her history."

"She looks so happy."

"She's a very good baby." Nate nodded. "Unlike some babies."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault I wasn't breathing, okay?" Maya rolled her eyes.

The baby looked at Emily and cooed. The infant was really fascinated by her.

"Hi." Emily cooed back.

"She's really adorable." Maya smiled. "Can we keep her?"

"She's not a puppy, Maya." Nate shook his head and laughed at his little sister.

Emily rested her hand against the edge of the crib. The baby girl hadn't missed the motion. She dropped the rattle and reached out and latched on to Emily. She gripped Emily's fingers and babbled. And Emily felt an instant connection to her.

She let the baby squeeze her fingers as Nate continued his exam. The baby pulled her fingers out of her mouth and grabbed her rattle again. It took her a few tries, but she finally had a grip on it. She started moving it around, hitting Nate's arm in the process. She dropped the rattle again and then started kicking her feet.

"She's feisty." Emily laughed.

"Like a little tiger." Maya agreed.

"Like…Tiger Lily from Peter Pan!"

"We can call her Lily." Maya's eyes lit up in excitement.

"Again, girls, not a puppy…"

"Of course not." Maya picked up the rattle. "We dub you, honorary little sister, Lily the Lovebug." Maya pretended to knight the little girl.

The baby's mouth widened in a toothless grin.

"The fairest maiden in all the land." Emily put on a pretend fairytale voice. It seemed to soothe her.

"Alright, you two have had your fun." Nate eyeballed them both. "I need to get back to work here."

"We'll see you soon little Lily." Maya handed her back her rattle.

"We are NOT calling her that…" Nate argued.

"Well we're certainly not going to call her 'ward of the state'." Maya scoffed.

"Go back to your room, Maya."

"You're not the boss of me."

"I have a hospital badge that says otherwise." Nate ordered. "Just go. Wren is coming by to give you your treatment in twenty minutes. Don't squirt him with the IV line again. I have to work with these people."

"God, you're no fun." Maya snorted at her brother as they walked out of the room.

"Hey, wash and sanitize your hands!" He called out after them.

It had only taken them those few precious moments to fall in love with the little girl.

They checked in on her daily. When Emily's vision wasn't giving her problems she liked to read her bedtime stories. She was always very careful not to get too close, because she knew the baby's immune system was compromised. But she didn't like to let a day go by without seeing her.

Even when Emily and Maya were bedridden themselves they asked about her. That little baby had brought something special to the cancer ward. She brought a newfound form of hope.

It gave Emily the optimism she needed when the day came when she went in for surgery to try and excise the tumor on her optical nerve. She'd been hesitant about it, because she understood the risks, but she also knew it was her only shot.

She was steadily starting to lose her vision. Her headaches were incapacitating. She was having more frequent seizures. She was losing function of her hands and her coordination in general. And on top of it all she was having trouble with her memory. She could also see the way her parents looked at her, that fear of losing her. She knew that the surgery wouldn't fix everything, but that it would give her a chance at life.

When the day came, Nate brought their favorite little baby by for good luck. And Maya walked with her to the surgery suite. She promised to be by her side when she woke up. Letting go of Maya's hand was the hardest thing Emily had ever done. But they wouldn't let her go into the surgery area with her. Emily reached up and played with Lily's toes. She giggled. Nate passed the infant off to a nurse and went to talk to the rest of the doctors on Emily's team.

Right before the anesthesiologist was getting ready to sedate her Nate came in to be by her side for moral support.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine. It's not like this is brain surgery or anything."

"That'a girl." He smiled.

Emily tried to put on a brave face, but underneath it all she was shaking. Her brave façade slipped for a few moments.

"Nate…" She reached out for his hand. She felt his hand graze her fingers. "If I die…tell Maya…tell her I love her. And tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them. And take care of Lily. Promise me you'll take care of Lily."

"You're not going to die," he assured her. "And we still haven't landed on a name for Baby Doe." He tried to tease her a bit to lighten the mood.

"We're training her to answer to the name, so you might as well go along with it." Emily smiled at him.

"Dr. St. Germain?" Someone called for his attention.

"Hang in there, kid. I have to go get scrubbed up." He let go of her hand. "But don't be scared, okay? I'll be here the whole time."

Emily nodded. She watched him leave and minutes later she was breathing in a funny smelling gas that knocked her out.

The surgery was grueling and taxing for everyone, including Emily. The recovery had been hard. But she persisted.

Over the next several months she eventually started to regain control of her motor functions. Her memory was still very much intact. Her headaches and seizures decreased. Even her vision was stable. Not perfect, but stable. She was relieved to find out they'd gotten 85% of the tumor.

Nate talked about submitting her case for a trial that would eradicate the remaining 15%. Emily had been very excited about it at first. But then she found out that Maya was up for the same trial. And she didn't feel right. She felt like she was taking it away from her. She was worried because she was stable, but Maya was getting sicker. She wanted Maya to have the same opportunity to get better.

When she was starting to feel a bit better she started questioning her medical plan going forward. Nate had gone over the qualifications for the trial. But Emily kept telling him she didn't want to be in the trial.

"What about Maya?" Emily asked.

"There's only room in the trial for one case…"

"So pick her."

"It doesn't work like that, Emily." He put his hand on top of hers to steady her. He could see she was upset. "Look, the board chooses the person who they think has the best chance…"

"You just picked me because she's your sister and you can't pick her."

"No, that's not…"

"What happens if I say no?"

"Well, unfortunately, it's not just up to you. I've already spoken with your parents. And they're on board."

"She's been here longer. She's sicker. She needs it more."

"That's not the criteria…"

"No, I'm not the criteria." She argued with tears in her eyes. "What makes me anymore special than she is? She's your sister."

"This wasn't an easy decision…"

"Then go back and make the right one."

"We did. I know we did."

There was a tense silence in the room.

"It came down to you, didn't it? You were the deciding vote?"

"It was a group effort." Nate tried to play it off.

"You picked me because you were forced to." That wasn't fair to Maya. "Not because you wanted to…"

"No." He shut down her self-hatred. "I had all of the data, all of the facts. I looked at it on paper. I saw you, and I saw her…and you were the one I needed to pick. I know it's a lot to shoulder. I do. And I know how you feel, but you have to understand that this about more than just Maya. This is my job, Emily."

"No, your job is to make sure your sister lives."

"She's not my only patient." He sighed, trying to get her to understand his decision. He knew what it meant for Maya, but he stood by it. Emily had a better chance of survival. She was the better candidate for the trial. "You're so young…"

"So is she."

"Look, I'll…I'm going to figure something else out for her. Trust me. I will."

"You promise?" Emily asked.

Nate sighed heavily. The fact that he couldn't guarantee anything made her feel nauseous. She knew the reality of the situation. But that didn't stop her from hoping for a different outcome.

Later that afternoon when she was hanging out with Maya she told her the exact same thing she'd told Nate.

"I don't want it, Maya. You should take the spot in the trial."

And Maya responded in the exact same manner as her brother.

"You know it doesn't work like that."

"Well, if you're not getting the treatment then neither am I. We're in this together."

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said." Maya gave her hell.

If she was within reach she would have smacked Emily. But they were keeping their distance because Maya was getting a treatment that made her susceptible to getting infections. Emily had to beg her way into Maya's room. The nurse had made her put on a gown and gloves and a mask. Emily was happy to do it, because she needed to see Maya. Maya shifted in her bed, rolling slightly so she could keep eye contact with Emily.

"You're scared. I get it."

"No, it's not about that." Emily argued. "I can't…I don't want to take this chance away from you."

She was watching the girl wither away before her very eyes. She'd seen it in cancer patients before, but with Maya it was different.

"Emily…" She sighed softly. "You are one of the kindest purest souls I have ever met. The world needs you."

"The world is big enough for both of us."

"Don't you worry about me. I've got more lives than a cat. I've been worse than this before."

It was the first time she'd ever lied to Emily. Since they'd met they'd been nothing but truthful with one another. But for the sake of Emily's sanity, she needed her to believe she was going to get better.

Emily bit her lip. She wanted to fight her. She wanted to force her to take her spot in the trial. She wanted to scream and cry and make a scene. But she also knew that arguing with Maya St. Germain was no use. Even if Emily found way to bow out of the trial, Maya would find a way to force her to do it. She sighed and looked at the floor.

"What if it doesn't work?"

"Don't go into it thinking like that." Maya frowned. "You've kicked this thing in the ass before. You'll do it again. Second verse as same as the first." Her frown twisted into a smile. "You're getting a third shot at life. Don't screw it up."

Emily sniffled, a tear tracing down her cheek.

"Nate says he's going to figure something out for you."

"If anyone can do it, he can."

"If I wasn't here this wouldn't be happening."

"No." Maya cut her off. "My brother knows what he's doing. Just trust him."

"This coming from someone who called him a knock-off McDreamy with a McDouche face two days ago?" Emily laughed through her tears.

Maya nodded with a smile.

"He knows I said it with love." She yawned. Emily could see that she was fading. "I think I'm going to take a nap." Maya's head sank further back into her pillow. "Why don't you go check in on our favorite ward of the state? Read her a story for me."

Emily nodded and reached out with her gloved hand, putting her fingers on top of Maya's. Maya flipped her hand over and squeezed Emily's palm.

"Everything will be okay, Em."

Emily didn't believe her, but she tried to be hopeful anyway. She went to visit little Baby Doe, whom Nate had stubbornly refused to name. They called her Lily anyway. One of the nurses was checking her vitals. When Lily saw Emily coming she started bouncing and flailing her arms excitedly.

"Em…em…em." It was all she really knew how to say. She babbled sometimes, but she was very consistent with Emily's name.

Emily was always in a good mood when she saw the baby. The little girl adored her, and Emily adored her, too. When the nurse was done she smiled at Emily and handed Lily over to her, who was reaching for her already.

It ended up being perfect timing because seconds after she'd passed the baby off there was a chiming noise and a code being called to the ICU. Emily flinched, sitting down with Lily in her lap.

"I really should…"

"I'll watch her for a little while." Emily quickly interrupted her.

She hated hearing the codes being called. She always felt the loss, even if she didn't know the person. She'd seen a lot of them over the years. It was all hands on deck when someone was dying. The nurse told Emily to sit tight and then rushed out, closing the door behind her.

Emily could hear the sirens outside and she could hear footsteps rushing down the hall. It was times like these that reminded her she was in a hospital. The baby started to cry. She could sense it, too. Emily shushed her and sang to her.

It calmed both of them down. Lily was always happy with her. And Emily needed the magic of baby smiles.

She spent the next several days going between Maya's room and Lily's nursery. Her girls…they were the three musketeers. And Nate was the one who tied them all together. He'd really taken her under his wing. They gave her strength and a tight sense of family, at least her hospital family.

Over the course of her treatment Nate had come to see Emily as the little sister he never had. When Maya threw it out there that he had a sister, he'd retorted, "No, I believe she disowned me when she was seven."

"I said take-sies back-sies!" Maya had argued.

Emily loved watching them bicker. She'd gotten as close to Nate as she had to Maya, but not in the same way. She had never had a brother. She had a sister in her best friend Hanna, but it felt like Nate had stepped into the role of her brother quite naturally.

Emily confided a lot in Nate. She didn't want Maya to see her scared or upset, so she talked to him about her fears. Nate didn't mind. He'd gotten used to being a therapist on top of a doctor. A lot of his patients talked to him. He was easy to open up to.

The first treatment was hell on Emily. She was exhausted. She couldn't walk from her bed to the bathroom without getting winded. She had frequent headaches, though none nearly as bad as they'd been before the surgery. And she was nauseated so often that they'd had to discuss putting in a feeding tube, though it fortunately didn't come to that. She powered through.

Maya was her biggest supporter. When Emily was at her absolute worst Maya was in her corner telling her to keep going. And she did it all without even being in the same room with her. She'd begged Nate to let her and Emily share a room, but he told her no. So instead, the girls talked on the phone and texted all the time. Sometimes they'd pass notes to the nurses and send each other gifts.

The second she was allowed visitors, Maya was there. It took a bit of time before Emily was back to her old self, but Maya was patient with her.

Emily actually felt well enough at Thanksgiving to have a feast with her family and Maya's family. Neither girl ate much, but they enjoyed each other's company. Emily wanted to spend as much time as she could with Maya before she had to do her second treatment.

She was so busy smiling at Maya that she didn't notice how odd their parents were acting. If she had, it would have been her first clue. Later, when the adults were talking, Maya and Emily went to Maya's room. The fact that none of the adults objected to them being alone together should have been her second clue.

"Wanna go look at the stars?" Maya questioned as she put a robe on over her gown.

"While I still can, yes." Emily took her hand.

They went out to the roof, Emily slowing a few times to let Maya catch up.

They sat outside quietly staring at the stars above them. Emily had to blink several times to see them clearly, but when she did she was in awe.

"Em?" Maya questioned.

Emily turned to face her and saw that she had a strange look on her face.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked. "Are you cold? We can go back in…"

"No. It's not that." Maya shook her head. She reached into the oversized pocket on the robe and pulled out a tiny notebook. One of her journals. She was always doodling something. "Can I read you something I wrote?"

"Sure."

"It's called 'that night'." Maya glanced at the flowery paper in the small notepad. She couldn't force herself to look at Emily.

That should have been her third clue.

"Dire moments, last goodbyes. Your kisses dance like fireflies."

Emily blushed. Their first kiss. It had meant so much to her. It had been the first time she'd felt truly empowered by her sexuality.

"I'm gone tonight to a dark unseen. I wish to take your light with me. You were my first, but it won't be our last."

Emily felt a shift in the air. A cold wave washed over her.

"Time travels until it's in the past. You'd think our love was some thickening plot. They don't know it's all we've got."

Emily felt the words sinking deep into her heart. And she felt an ache in the pit of her stomach. She looked at Maya's face. Her eyes, once bright and vibrant, were tired and dull and full of tears.

"Maya, what is this?" Emily frowned.

Maya sighed, putting her journal down. Emily felt her heart hammering against her chest.

"My treatments aren't working anymore, Em." She looked at the sky to keep her tears from falling. "I've got a couple of weeks at best."

"But…there's…there's more. I'm proof of that."

"It's too late." Maya shook her head. "My last scan…" She sighed. "It's really bad. It's in my lungs. My bones. Everywhere." She frowned. "It kinda sucks."

This can't be happening. Emily stared at her in shock.

But she could see it. She could see it on her face. In her eyes. She could see it.

They both broke down that night. Neither of them had any idea just how quickly she would decline. They didn't know that Maya wouldn't make it to Christmas, her favorite holiday.

*** 3 weeks later ***

Maya's decline had made Emily's second treatment so much harder. She didn't have the same hope and optimism that she'd had when she was going into her first one. She didn't get quite as sick with her second treatment. She'd felt well enough to visit Maya and decorate her room for the holiday.

They exchanged gifts and Emily rallied enough to sing some Christmas carols before she ran out of steam. She told Maya they were only a week and a half away from Christmas and that she had to hold on. That night, she laid beside Maya's bed for hours.

It was the last night she had with her before she died. The next morning she found out that Maya had been moved to the ICU. She'd been having trouble breathing and her stats were crashing so they'd transferred her.

Emily's parents were in the cafeteria getting breakfast when Nate came in to do his rounds. Emily saw the look on his face and the bags under his eyes and she knew something was wrong.

"Is she…" Emily was shaking so badly that her bed creaked beneath her.

"No. Not yet. But…it's bad." Nate clenched his jaw. "She's not going to make it much longer."

"I want to see her."

"Emily, you're still very susceptible to illnesses. Your body hasn't fully recovered. With the meds you're on and your low antibodies…"

"Please." Emily pleaded desperately.

It broke his heart to hear the desperation in her tone.

"I can't go against hospital policy," he said. Before Emily could blow up at him he pulled his badge off and laid it against the table next to her bedside. "I also can't help it if a patient happens to find my keycard to the ICU after it falls out of my pocket." He glanced at her.

Emily nodded.

"Thank you."

"Wear a mask and gloves. Your immune system is still weak." He glanced at the clock. "And don't take too long. I can only cover for you for so long before the nurses wise up. Not to mention, my mom and dad will be here any minute, too."

He'd never get over feeling guilty for sending them home to get some rest. Because they'd never see their little girl alive again.

"In and out, okay?" he said. "I mean it."

She nodded. She waited a few minutes after Nate left and then she pushed herself out of bed and checked the hallway to make sure it was clear. She knew the back way to the ICU and since she had Nate's keycard she could get through the locked door. She quietly slipped through the hallways, making sure to avoid the on-call nurses and doctors.

She made it into the ICU without being spotted. She tiptoed down the hallway, listening for the chatter of the staff at the nurses station. There was only one nurse because of the shift change. She quietly walked behind her and made her way towards Maya's room.

She stopped when she got to the little whiteboard that had Maya's name on it. She peered inside to make sure no one was there to catch her. The whole staff knew her and if they found her they'd haul her away before she had a chance to see Maya.

Emily had forgotten all about Nate's safety and sterility talk. All she saw was Maya glistening with sweat and withering away. She rushed over to her bedside. Maya looked up at her in confusion.

"Emily?" Maya saw her. "You're here? But they said…"

"Broke some rules." Emily leaned next to her bed, taking her hand in hers and sweeping her other hand over her sweaty forehead.

"I've taught you well." She was wheezing. She reached up to pull her oxygen mask off, but Emily stopped her.

"Maya, just…hold on, okay? Your parents are coming…"

"They won't make it." Maya cut her off.

Emily felt tears stinging her eyes.

"I screwed up." Maya uttered.

"What?"

"I broke my own rule. I fell for you." She rubbed Emily's cheek. "I fell for you so hard."

"I know." Emily nodded, tears falling down her cheeks. "Me too." She took a heavy breath. "I'm sorry, Maya. I'm so…"

"It's not your fault. It's mine." She huffed. "I'm so damn irresistible. I should have known you'd fall in love with me, too."

Emily laughed through her tears.

"I need you to promise me something…" Maya's forehead scrunched up. Emily could tell she was in pain.

Emily was shaking. She couldn't contain her emotions.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe this is happening, Maya. I'm so sorry."

"I need you to promise me you won't blame him. I would have done the same thing. He knows you are something special, Emily Fields." She had a strange serene smile on her face.

"I'm not." She could taste snot dripping down the back of her throat. "I'm really not." She wiped her nose. She looked around for help that she knew would never come. Because there was nothing anyone could do. They were alone. They were truly alone. Emily fought back a cry. "God, I never should have taken that spot in the stupid trial."

"It's okay." Maya interrupted her.

Emily lowered her head. Her body was shaking. She was freezing. But then she felt Maya's hand against her cheek. It was strangely warm.

"Tell him it's okay. Tell him I love him. And please make sure he takes care of himself. Because he gets so caught up that he forgets sometimes. I need you to look out for him. God bless him, that fool needs someone to look out for him. I need you to promise me that."

Emily let out a quiet cry and then nodded.

"I promise."

"And promise me you'll take care of yourself." Her fingers grazed Emily's cheek. "And Lily."

"He vetoed Lily, remember?" Emily sniffled with a saddened laugh.

"He'll come around." She smiled. "He always does."

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." Emily choked back a cry.

"You're going to be incredible. You're going to do incredible things." She took a harsh breath. "Live a life not only you'll remember, but one others will remember," Maya said. "Live for me, okay? Take risks. Jump into the deep end after blondes at the pool. Love…love hard."

"I will."

Maya had just enough strength to reach over and touch Emily's side, her fingers curling against her ribs, her thumb brushing just to the left of her bellybutton. Emily felt the electricity from her touch. It lasted only seconds. She pulled away and groaned out a noise that didn't sound even remotely normal.

"Maya?"

Maya's eyes found Emily's through the darkness.

"I'm scared, Em." Her soft brown eyes were filled with tears.

Emily had never seen her cry. It gutted her. A sob ripped from Emily's throat. Her fearless Maya. The girl who had never had a problem testing her limits, who had never been afraid of anything in life. She'd never known fear until today.

She'd always told Emily that people weren't really afraid of the dark. They were scared of what was in it. Now that she was facing that darkness she truly understood that. How could someone not be afraid of what happened when their world went dark? How could someone not be afraid of the unknown? Maya started hyperventilating. Her lips trembled as she looked at Emily for help.

"Hey, don't be scared." Emily managed to choke out, holding back her sobs. "Just…just focus on me." She tried to keep Maya's mind off of the inevitable. "Remember…remember what you told me when we first met?"

Maya smiled.

"Every word, new girl." Maya's face tightened in thought. "We really made every second count, didn't we?" She looked around and then glanced at Emily. "You should...you should get out of here. It's not safe for you. You should go back to your room. You're still sick." Maya uttered, her words becoming lost in a slurred speech pattern.

"No. No, I'm not leaving you."

Emily leaned down to kiss the side of her jaw. She felt Maya's shaking hand on the back of her neck. Her lips brushed against Emily's ear.

"I fell in love with you, Emily. And I'd do it all again," she whispered. "I love you," she exhaled a breath as her body went limp.

"Maya?" She pulled back and saw her eyes glazing over. "Maya!" She cried frantically. She dipped her forehead down and pressed it against Maya's. "Maya, no…please no…"

She moved to put her arms around her and embrace her, but before she could lift her up and pull her close to her body she was yanked away from her.

The machines around Maya started going haywire. A nurse whisked her out of the room, running directly into Nate.

Everything happened so fast that she didn't even register what was going on. But she knew exactly who was holding her…who was keeping her from her first love. She knew his touch far more than she ever thought she would. Far more than she cared to.

She whipped around and started pounding against his chest with her fists. She hit him until she exhausted herself. Then she tried to rip herself away, to get free. She couldn't breathe. She was drowning. But a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

"Emily, look at me."

The girl refused to tear her eyes away from her first love.

"Are you out of your mind? I told you to wear a mask…"

"Let go of me! I have to stay with her. I have to be there…"

"No, we have to get you out of here. It's not safe for you to be exposed. Your immune system…"

"I don't care!" She fought against him, throwing her fists into his chest. "She needs me, Nate. I promised I wouldn't leave her!"

"Look at me." He ordered again. And for some reason, this time, she heard him. She peered into his eyes. He had Maya's eyes. It hurt. Unbelievably badly. "There is nothing you can do for her…"

There was an eerie silence, followed by a scream ripping from Emily's lips.

"Why?" Emily cried, struggling against Nate. "You should have picked her. She deserves to live. She deserves…"

"Emily, stop!" Nate grasped her wrists, trying to get her to pay attention.

Emily only saw a flash of his face, the grief-stricken look cutting into her soul. He'd just lost her, too. He'd lost his sister. And he was with her instead. He had chosen her again.

"You need to settle down before…"

But it was too late. She'd worked herself into such a frenzy that her blood pressure spiked. She collapsed into his arms, her eyes rolling back into her head.

"Damn it." Nate grabbed her, lifting her into his arms. He got her to a gurney just as the seizure started. "Hey!" Nate shouted. "I need some help here!"

He was torn, because he wanted to be in his sister's room with her, but she was already gone. He knew it. But Emily was still alive. Emily was in front of him. And Maya would want him to take care of her. So he let his coworkers do their job.

He glanced in Maya's room and saw the crowd of growing people. Through the crowd, his coworker and fellow doctor Wren Kingston broke through. He shouted orders at another physician down the hallway.

"What happened?"

"Pretty sure her blood pressure spiked. She might have thrown a clot."

"She's not on anticoagulants?"

"She hasn't been ambulatory. Plus the trial doesn't call for it." He swallowed and glanced at Maya's room. "Maya?" He asked.

"We can intubate and put her on machines until your parents get here..."

His parents had given him power of attorney, because they knew that he'd be able to make the right call if something like this happened.

It was the hardest decision of his life. Nate just shook his head. Maya had been through too much. Her poor little body was nothing but bones. Their parents didn't want to prolong her suffering.

He turned his attention back to Emily. The doctor that Wren had called out to was rushing towards them with a bottle of something in his hand. He drew up the liquid into a syringe. He gave it to Nate, who quickly inserted it into Emily's IV port. He flushed it through and her twitching started to cease. Nate breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let me take her." Wren put his hand on Nate's arm. "Take a minute, mate."

He quietly passed Emily off to Wren and then went into his sister's room. They had stopped trying to resuscitate her. He took her hand in his and watched the machines. Seconds later he was calling the time of death through his tears. He spent a few minutes with her, but then he broke down. He ended up outside trying to catch his breath. After a while he started wandering the hospital.

Of all the places he could have ended up, he ended up in Baby Doe's room. The little girl was sound asleep, clutching her teddy bear. He watched her breathing for several minutes. It soothed him for some reason.

Lily.

Maya had always had a fascination with naming things. He walked over to the whiteboard with the infant's information on it. He erased the name "Baby Doe" and wrote "Lily" on it.

*** 24 Hours Later ***

Emily's head was throbbing. The last thing she could remember was a horrific pain shooting up her spine. She faintly recalled Nate being there.

"Hey, there you are." She heard her mom's voice.

"Mom?" Emily blinked.

She felt like she'd had a horrible nightmare.

"Hey…baby." Pam cupped Emily's hands in her warm palms.

"Dad?" She uttered weakly. Her vision was blurry, but she could see them.

"You gave us a hell of a scare, kid." Wayne rubbed the back of her hand.

"What happened?" She tried to sit up, but her dad stopped her.

"You had a bit of a setback. You had a hell of a seizure, so take it slow, baby girl."

"Where's Maya? Is she okay?"

Pam and Wayne shared a look. Emily felt an emptiness in her chest. It all came rushing back to her, and it hurt more than any physical pain she'd ever had. It was more agonizing than her migraines. It was more horrifying than any seizure she'd ever had. It made her feel sicker to her stomach than any of her treatments. She lowered her head and started to sob uncontrollably. Pam climbed in the bed with her and pulled her into her embrace. She held her as she cried.

The next few days were some of the darkest days in Emily's life. Not only was she physically drained, she was emotionally exhausted. They had to postpone her last treatment because she was getting weaker. She didn't want to eat or drink. She barely moved. It made her pain worse. She felt like a former shadow of herself.

Every day was the same. Every morning she woke up. She'd ignore the breakfast tray in front of her. She'd get up and go to the bathroom, puke, and then she'd stare at herself in the mirror for the longest time. Every night was the same, too. Bathroom. Puke. Stare.

Then one night, something changed. She went to the bathroom like she normally did. She puked. But then instead of looking at the mirror her eyes fell on a bottle of her pain meds. She hadn't been taking them because she hadn't been eating or taking anything orally. It really hadn't crossed her mind that she could screw up the trial. She wasn't thinking clearly.

She filled a cup up with water and took two of the pills. Then she took two more. Then another. She waited for it to take her pain away, but it didn't. So she left the bathroom and told her parents she was going to see Lily and read her a bedtime story to brighten her spirits. She just wanted to get out of the room.

She'd gotten halfway to Lily's room when she started to feel the effects of the medication. She made it to Lily's doorway before she started to pass out. She saw a glimpse of the happy bubbly baby in her hospital crib. But then the room started spinning. She grabbed the doorjamb and huffed out a breath. Suddenly, she couldn't get air into her lungs.

"Emily?" She heard Nate's voice.

Her vision started to go blurry.

"I just want…" Emily struggled to take a breath, "…to see her."

Her legs buckled. She fell against the floor. Lily started to cry. Nate and a nurse rushed to Emily's side. Wren wasn't far behind. He'd just written up his exam findings on Lily for the day.

"Another seizure?" Wren asked.

"No." Nate put his palm against Emily's cheek. Her skin was clammy.

"Did she hit her head?" Wren asked.

"Don't think so." Nate grabbed Emily's wrist. Her pulse was weak.

"What were her last counts?"

"A little low. She hasn't had much of an appetite. Could be low BG."

He checked her pupils and immediately realized that wasn't the case. He had a sudden hunch. She'd been depressed since Maya died. Her symptoms weren't from anything physical.

"She took something." Nate could have kicked himself for not paying closer attention. "Damn it."

They quickly got her loaded up on a gurney and rushed to get her stomach pumped. By the time they got her into a room she was barely breathing. She was pale. Her heart wasn't pumping enough blood to her body.

"She's crashing. We're losing her." Wren glanced at the heart monitor.

"No. That's not a fucking option." Nate growled. "Not after my sister. I can't…I won't."

They fought to keep her alive. They nearly lost her. Her heart stopped for a grueling 30 seconds, but they were able to revive her.

Four hours later she was in recovery with her parents by her side. When she woke up she had a hell of a hangover, and two very upset and pissed off parents. They were hovering. She'd barely gotten two words out when they breathed a sigh of relief.

"What were you thinking, Emily?" Her dad grasped her cheeks. "You could have died."

Emily wanted to ask him how that was different than any other day of her life, but she refrained. Instead she just pitifully told them she missed Maya and that she was sorry.

Because of the overdose she was put on a mandatory psych hold. She spent three days cut off from everyone who cared about her. The hours felt like years. But she couldn't muster up enough strength to care. About anything.

After her psych hold Nate tried to get her to talk to him, but she became withdrawn and combative. He persisted. He pushed. Because he knew that she wouldn't survive otherwise. He finally got her body strong enough to handle the final treatment in the trial, but she fought every step of the way. When they came to get her she cried.

"I don't want the stupid treatment! Please…don't take me." Emily looked at her parents helplessly. "Don't let them take me."

"Emmy, calm down, sweetie." Her dad tried to soothe her.

"Please don't make me do this. I can't…I can't do this. She should be here. She should…it's my fault she's not…" Her jaw trembled. "It's my fault."

"Hey, it is not your fault." Pam cupped her hands. "I'm so sorry about Maya. I am. I truly am." She looked at Nate to let him know she was talking to him, too. She looked back at her daughter. "But sweetheart, you can't give up. Not when you're this close."

Emily calmed down long enough to look at her parents. They seemed so broken. And she felt like it was because of her. She at least owed it to them to try. She owed it to Maya to try.

*** 6 Weeks Later ***

It was her promise to Maya that had turned everything around for her. She'd promised her that she'd live. She wanted to do everything she'd told Maya she would do. She wanted to love with all of her heart. She wanted to see the world and everything in it. She wanted to jump into life, because she understood how precious it was. She understood what living truly meant.

Six weeks later that's exactly what she was setting out to do. Her parents had been loading up the car when Nate came in with her discharge papers. They had gotten much closer because of the hardships they'd both faced. He treated her like family. It didn't surprise Emily. He did that with all of his patients. She watched him dote on Lily all the time.

The baby was sound asleep in Emily's bed. She'd just had an epic story read to her. Emily cradled her little cheeks and quietly hoped that Lily would one day make it out of the hospital, too. She heard Nate walking into the room.

"It gives me great pleasure to be able to say this." He smiled. He handed her the discharge papers in his hands. "You're free and clear."

"For now." Emily nodded.

"For now." Nate smiled timidly. "So, what's next for you, Emily Fields? What grand adventures do you have in store?"

"My dad has family in Rosewood."

"Back to your home state, huh?"

"Yeah. You remember my cousin Toby? We're going to stay with his family. We'll probably move there. I'm familiar with the area so that when the complete blindness sets in I'll be ready."

"I know we've talked about this before, but it's different for everyone. It's hard to know for certain how quickly that scar tissue will harden. It will more than likely be gradual, but there's also a possibility that..."

"That I'll go to bed one night with my vision and wake up without it." Emily understood. She'd been briefed on the vision loss more than once. "Mom is already looking into schools for the blind."

"We're going to miss you around here."

"Oh, I'll be back to visit." She looked at the sleeping child in the bed. "Promise me you'll take care of Lily for me."

"I always do."

"And yourself." Emily added.

"Likewise."

"I'll call you this weekend. I expect an update on our favorite little ward of the state." She touched the baby's cheek.

"You know, the name Lily doesn't seem so bad." Nate smiled. "I filed the paperwork to give her the official title of Lily the Lovebug. But for government purposes, Lilian Maya Doe."

Emily had tears in her eyes. Maya had been right. The name had grown on him. And she'd be the center of attention with a name like Lilian Maya.

"What's going to happen to her?" Emily asked.

"We're going to do our best…"

"No. Not the treatments. What's going to happen to her after that?"

"Let's just get her to 'after' first."

"I promised her I'd come read to her and visit her."

"Well, until you do I'll take over the official title of storyteller."

"Won't be as good as me." Emily gave him a hard time.

"You are a lot to live up to." Nate agreed.

There was a quiet look shared between them as they took in the fact that she was in remission. Emily moved in to hug him.

"Thank you," she said, taking in his scent. He smelled like Maya. It hurt in all the worst ways. "For getting me out of here alive."

"I'm always here for you, Em," he replied, pulling back from the hug. "You call me if you need anything."

Lily stirred on Emily's bed. He walked over to pick her up. When he moved her from the bed to his arms she sleepily rubbed her eyes and then laid her cheek against his shoulder.

"Take care of yourself," he said.

Emily nodded, watching him walk out.

She looked around the hospital room. It had been her home for almost two years. She had a lot of memories here, good and bad. But she was fine with leaving it behind, because it left her open to new adventures. She double-checked all the nooks and crannies, making sure she wasn't leaving anything behind.

She was glad she'd decided to do so, because in a corner in the back of the room she found a red scarf that meant the world to her. Maya had given it to her. She picked it up and held it close to her face. And she cherished everything about it. She wrapped it around her neck before taking a final look at her room.

She met her parents outside, who quietly drove her out to say goodbye to one last person before they left town. Something that really struck her, that would always stay with her, is the fact that Maya held on just long enough for her to say goodbye. She didn't imagine that doing it again would be so hard.

She stayed by Maya's grave for nearly an hour.

Leaving was the hardest thing she'd ever done. But it was only in leaving Baltimore that she was able to start anew. It was saying goodbye to her first love that pushed her forward into a new world. Everything that had happened to her was fate leading her to her destiny. Her plan was to enjoy every minute of her life. She hadn't expected to fall in love again. But as she quite literally watched the horizon disappear from her sights, her heart opened up in ways that only love could be let in. Her real life was getting ready to begin.


A/N: I know this is an Emison story, so I hope there's not too much hate about this interlude. When I drafted this story up I knew the importance of shaping Emily's character through her love and loss of Maya. I knew I needed to include it to give you all perspective on why she is who she is. She's been shrouded in mystery (even with the little reveals) up until this point. Now there are no more secrets. All that is left is Alison and Emily. Then again, this all started with Alison and Emily, as you see from their little interaction when they were kids. It's coming full circle.

I always try to warn you when there is going to be a lag between chapters. I worked overtime to get this one to you. The next one is going to take longer, because I'm going to be out of commission for a little bit. But I'd love it if you reviewed to your heart's content. I've been less than motivated lately. And hearing from you all is always a nice treat. I keep wavering on whether or not I want to continue writing Emison/PLL fics, because I'm not always confident that people have continued interest. I know I go on and on and that can get tiring for people after a while.