Hellooo everyone! Sorry it took so long to update but i've been really busy! Please ENJOY this chapter!

RPOV

It was silent as I looked around my room. I recognized it from the memory I had of Dimitri earlier. I picked up a picture sitting on the dresser and rubbed my finger over the face of me, Lissa, and Mia. We were all smiling happily and I closed my eyes, trying to get a sense of where we were.

Sighing, I gave up and placed the picture back down before moving over to the bookcase. I fingered through the books, smiling as I read over the titles of most of them. Photography for Dummies, What to do to Become a Photographer, Finding the Perfect Shot, Alisa Benet- Famous Photographer, many of them had to do with the same topic.

A small box laid on one of the shelves and I picked it up, turning over and hearing a thump as something rolled around inside of it. I lifted the lid and looked at the tiny camera sitting inside. It looked very familiar, which was rare, and when I tried to remember where I recognized, I touched it and the vision of the woman from my recent dreams showed up.

Excited, I picked up the camera and glanced inside, disappointed that no name was written inside to tell me the name of the women that gave it to me. I put the camera back up and stood, stretching my legs out. I glanced at the clock and was shocked to see that it was 1 in the morning.

I wasn't tired, however, and continued exploring my room. One thing I noticed was a large photo album sitting on the bottom shelf of the book case.

I grabbed it and sat down on my bed, sifting through the pictures one by one. Each one was unique and grabbed my attention instantly. The first part of the album had photos of me and others but as I got older, the pictures in there started becoming less and less of me. Many pictures had my friends, others had scenery outside, and then a couple was of a bird.

I didn't know what the bird stood for, so I stared at it for a long time. Once I reached the end of the book, I closed it tiredly and looked at the clock. It was now 5 in the morning.

I got up, my muscles groaning in protest, and put the album back up before leaving my room as quietly as I could. Dimitri was sleeping in his room still.

Well, that's what I thought. When I entered the kitchen, he was sitting down on a chair by the table, drinking a cup of coffee. My nose scrunched up in distaste as I walked up to him.

Dimitri looked up at me surprised, and seeing my obvious dislike of his coffee, he smiled and stood up, heading towards the cabinet and searching for something. He finally took out two packages of hot chocolate and started making some.

"How did you know I liked hot chocolate?" I asked him, sitting down. He smiled amused and grabbed his coffee, taking a drink before setting it back down.

"I was staying at your house for a couple weeks before Christian and Lissa's wedding, and the first morning your came into the kitchen and when I asked if you wanted coffee you gave a snort of distaste and said you only drink hot chocolate. It just so happened, however, that I made the best hot chocolate and made you some." He told me smiling. Amused, I leaned forward and gave him an exasperated look.

"Do you always talk highly about yourself?"

"Do you always have to speak sarcastically?"

"Touché," I stated smirking. He laughed and grabbed my now made hot chocolate.

"So is there a reason that you are up so early?" He asked, sitting back in his chair across from me. I looked down at my mug and rubbed my finger around the top.

"Couldn't sleep," I murmured sighing.

"Me either."

I looked up at him and before I could stop myself I blurted out, "thank you."

"For what?"

"Being here, having hope, helping me through this." I said, noting all of my thoughts.

"There isn't another place I rather be." Dimitri said smiling softly, "but there is another reason that I am up so early. I was going to go for a run."

I looked at him through my eyelashes, worried that he was going to leave me here by myself. It wasn't that I couldn't handle myself, but I couldn't hide the mental breakdown if one happened again.

"Would you like to join me? It's good to run sometimes, and I like to think when I run." He said looked at me softly, knowing what was on my mind. I breathed out relieved and nodded my head quickly. He motioned for the go get ready and I downed my hot chocolate and jogged to my room.

I searched through my drawers, trying to find shorts and a tank top. I was successful 10 minutes later. Meeting Dimitri outside, he taught me some warm-up stretches, pulling the arm back and forth, and bend over to stretch the legs.

"You ready?" He asked, walking towards the sidewalk. It was still slightly dark, but light was starting to cut through the sky and soon the sun would be up and burning me.

I nodded at him, and started jogging beside him. He looked like he could go faster, but slowed down to meet my pace, which I was thankful for.

He took me down twists, and turns that I couldn't remember, and was glad that he was with me because I wouldn't remember how to get home. My breathing was hoarse and ragged while his was calm and controlled, which made me a little embarrassed.

When I saw my house start to come into view, I looked at Dimitri and smirked before sprinting ahead quickly. I heard his quick pursuit and in seconds, he was ahead of me. I huffed and picked up my speed only to quickly drop it as I tripped to a stop.

I was on the edge of the sidewalk, closet to the road when I heard the roar of an engine behind me. Images raced inside my mind and I froze in terror. The sky was still dark, and headlights were framing Dimitri's still running body seeing as how he didn't hear me stop.

My heart was pounding in my ears and I was breathing hard from my exertion and fear. I heard the vehicle slow down and closed my eyes, feeling my muscles lock and shake.

The vehicle, slowed down more and I was about to pass out from fear when I heard Dimitri's voice call my name. My legs gave out and dropped to my knees and then to my side, gasping for air. A car door slammed shut and I let out a piercing scream, trying to move as far from the van as possible.

I could see the man with the black mask moving closer and closer before I felt something hit my head, but I didn't feel the pain that accompanied it. The fog was getting thicker, deeper….

"Rose! You're okay, you're okay, and no one is going to hurt you. Your fine, I'm here, the car is gone, and you're safe." Dimitri's voice pierced through my hazy mind and I realized that I was still screaming and thrashing on the ground. Stopping myself mid-scream, my body arched forward and collided with a hard surface.

Breathing deeply, I opened my eyes and looked up at Dimitri, the light from the sky showing his good-looking features and worry.

It also showed the huge, red mark on his forehead where I head-butted him. I couldn't find the words to apologize because once I opened my mouth sobs escaped and wracked my body harshly. Dimitri picked me up and sat me in his lap, soothing me with words that I didn't know as he rubbed his head through my hair.

"I was there, the car stopped, someone grabbed me, the fog…my head…I'm so scared." My words were a mixed jumble through my sobs and I gripped Dimitri's shirt in my hands.

"I know, I know, don't worry, it won't happen again Rose, your safe with me here, Nathan won't be coming for you again." He whispered in my ear. I breathed in and out slowly, stifling my sobs. When we were both breathing evenly, I pulled my head from his chest and looked up at him.

He looked down at me at the same time and we just looked the other in the eye. I could see the pain in his eyes and wanted it to go away. He sighed, his breath fanning across my face.

"How about we go inside and clean up," he suggested, standing up with me still in his arms. I didn't protest and instead laid my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

"It was that bad?" I whispered, tears brimming at my eyes.

"Yes, I'm sorry you had to remember that," he said back just as softly. I breathed out shakily and tightened my grip on him.

We said no more, and soon I was being set down inside of my room and he was shutting the door behind him, sending me one more remorseful glance.

I walked towards the dresser and pulled out clothes to change into after my shower. I walked towards the bathroom and took a quick shower, still trying to push the images of my kidnapping out of my mind. Once I was cleaned off and mentally stable, I walked into the kitchen and then living room, searching for Dimitri.

He was sitting in a chair, gazing forward, his eyes glazed over. I know he didn't see me walk in and when I kneeled in front of him, I grabbed his hand, shocking him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in," he said softly.

"I know, what were you thinking about?" I asked him.

"Everything that has happened," he replied generally. I grimaced and tugged his hand so that he would stand up.

"Let's go to Lissa's house, they should be awake now," I stated, walking outside as I held his hand.

"Sounds good," he replied, opening my door for me. I got in and watched him moved around the car before taking his place in the driver's seat. I stared at him as we took off, my mind traveling fast and furiously.

I grabbed hold of his hand again and he gave me a smile and squeezed it gently. I melted into the gesture, continuing to stare at him when he looked away.

It was crazy that it felt so right to hold his hand and hug him close. I couldn't remember him for the life of me, but somewhere, my mind and my body responded to him as if I did. I didn't know him, but I knew that I did.

Man, did that sound crazy or what?

He wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon, and I felt like he was the key to remembering everything. What did Doreene say again?

You know, maybe your amnesia has something to do with what happened to you. Your brain might me holding your memories back from you because you don't feel safe yet. Will Dimitri help me feel safe again? Do I still feel scared?

I could answer the second answer quickly. Yes, I was still scared, the panic attack I had not half an hour again could confirm that. I shivered, remembering what happened, and from the corner of my eye I saw Dimitri glance at me.

It was as if I transported to the past and was living through the kidnapping again. I saw fog, darkness, the masked man, and heard the car following me, but it wasn't real. It was sparked from a car driving by, and they didn't stop, Dimitri said they were gone.

Is this going to keep happening? Every time I hear, smell, feel, or see something, will it trigger another episode? I sure hope not, because it never happened before I came here, and it sure as hell won't keep happening while I am here.

We pulled up in front of Lissa's house and sat in silence for a few seconds before I squeezed Dimitri's hand and got out of the truck. He did the same and pulled me into his side while we walked. I appreciated it, resting my head on his chest.

"Please don't tell them about what happened." I said, looking up at him pleadingly. His eyes scrunched together and gave me a look of confusion. I stared at him harder to get my point across but recognition lit his eyes and he pulled me to a stop.

"Rose, they won't think that you're weak because you let your memories consume you." He replied giving me the are-you-stupid-thinking-they-will-judge-you look.

"But it is weak that small things, like running on a sidewalk when a car passes me, turn me into a screaming mess! I don't want them knowing that!" I exclaimed, gripping his shoulder. He gave a long look, but finally nodded in consent.

"Fine, but just remember that they won't judge you, especially with what you are going through right now Rose." I nodded, looking away so we could drop the subject. He sighed and started walking again, keeping his arm around me.

"Rose! Dimitri! I'm glad that your back!" Lissa exclaimed, giving me a light hug that I appreciated because I didn't want any of them treating me any different. Maybe it will even help me remember some things about how it used to be.

"Hi Liss," I replied, smiling. She beamed at her nickname and pulled me towards the kitchen where Christian was standing over a stove flipping pancakes.

"Do you still have that big appetite Rosie? Cause I made a lot of food," he said, grinning as he tried to flip a pancakes high up in the air. I noticed how he called me Rosie, instead of Rose, and I felt a flare of annoyance from somewhere inside of me.

"Didn't I tell you not to call me Rosie?" I snapped, before gasping and covering my mouth with my hand. I didn't mean to say it, at all. I was shocked that it came out of my mouth as did everyone else.

Christian looked a Lissa and a smile captured his lips. "You have, but I still called you because it annoyed you," he replied before glancing at me cautiously, "did you just say that without thinking?"

"Yeah, I felt a flash of annoyance and then the words just blurted from my mouth. Tell me, what kind of relationship did we have?" I asked confused.

"You can say that we had a love-hate relationship…though it's mostly a hate because you were Lissa's best friend so I had to put up with you every day," he was amused by his words as if he was remembering the past.

"We were that bad?" I asked.

"Yes," several people stated making me jump. Lissa had said it but all the others had come down the stairs and echoed her also.

I gave Christian a look before turning my back on him in surprise and walking to an empty seat. Mia sat in one beside me and touched my hand softly.

"Did you sleep well?"

I gave her sheepish look and shook my head. "I stayed up all night looking through some photo album on my bookcase." Everyone looked at each other and I froze fleetingly, "what?"

"Rose, that album was very…sacred by you. You never let anyone see what was inside of it because you told us that you had personal things inside of it." Lissa said her eyes turning guilty once she was done talking.

"I'm guessing it wasn't kept secret for long?" I said, looking around the guilty eyes of the room. Even Dimitri looked away from me.

"Rose, after the first attack, and after losing Mason…" Lissa said trailing off.

"Losing Mason? Who's Mason?" The only one that gave any sign of replying was Dimitri as he put his arm around me in a comforting manner.

"Mason…Rose, I think maybe you should remember this yourself-"

"I don't give a shit about remembering this myself! Who is Mason?" I shouted, jumping up and standing in front of all of them.

"Rose…"

"Tell me Dimitri." I growled, staring at him.

The room was silent and I heard a choked noise sound from the back where Eddie was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. I stared at him and felt my legs move towards him unconsciously.

"Eddie, please tell me," I whispered, hoping to get a response out of him.

"Rose, stop it, you will remember this on your own," Dimitri said again.

"No, she has the right to know," Eddie stated, opening his eyes, "if we don't tell her now, she will hate us for not telling her when she remembers."

I looked at him expectantly as he tried to get his thoughts together and I could see the pain and longing come into his eyes. "Mason was your best friend since you were little," I glanced at Lissa but she shook her head.

"I only knew you since college Rose," I nodded and looked back Eddie to continue.

"When you graduated high school, he made the decision to admit himself into the army." He whispered, shaking his head, "you always said he would play soldier when you both were little and that he always wanted to be one. We all met during college, and Mason got leave for Christmas so he came by to see you and met all of us.

We all became close and talked often, Lissa and Christian told him about the wedding and he asked for leave as soon as possible. He showed up at your house and we all got together…" he breathed in deeply while I stayed entranced with his story.

"A couple of nights later, you came back from work pale and worried saying you had to go do something and you would be back soon. Dimitri and Mason followed you from your house," I glanced at Dimitri and he looked down, "and we found you making a deal with the devil." I flinched with the way he worded it, but I don't think he saw it because he continued on.

"Dimitri and Mason saw them drag you into the woods, and they quickly followed. They found you and Dimitri quickly took you back to the car, but Mason stayed to fight the men that took you and ended up…getting hurt badly." Eddie took another breather while I sat there wondering what the hell I had done.

"He got put in the hospital and he was stable, you and Lissa visited him once you were awake and on your feet again, and while you were there, the doctor came in saying that he forgot to give Mason his medicine…he didn't forget, however, someone lied to him, telling him that he needed to give Mason this medicine. It killed him instantly."

I didn't think Eddie could go on, and I leaned on the wall heavily, my hands shaking as I breathed in and out. "I killed somebody…I killed my best friend." I whispered, tears watering in my eyes.

"Rose," Dimitri was there in an instant, holding my head between his hands, "you did not kill Mason, he was a brave man that fought for the right thing and did what he wanted to do. You didn't kill him, Nathan did."

"But he went in there to get revenge for me, and he ended up dying by perhaps that same person who hurt him, all because of me." I cried, moving off the wall and walking towards the door.

"Rose-"

"I need a minute alone, if you don't mind," I stated before taking the door outside. No one followed though I could hear someone start to protest.

I shouldn't be alive right now; someone I should know is dead while I'm standing here alive. It isn't fair, why doesn't it ever stop? How much do I have to go through before my life becomes healthy to live in? So far all I know of is rape, death, kidnapping, and loss, which is by far not a healthy way to live.

I'm going to regret wanting my memories back, I know I am now, because I don't want to know what happened to me, I don't want to remember the pain that I went through because I could have dealt with it while I went through life, but when I remember it will all hit me at once.

I won't be able to stand it.

I could go back to Oregon, live a normal life without remembering them. The people that make up my old life, it would be easy.

But I didn't feel the urge to get on a plane and fly away from the answers that lie here. I found the connection to my old life, to people that love me and care for me, and if I know one thing about myself, is that I rather be in pain, then someone else.

No one else needs to feel this pain but me. But if I want to get through this as fast as I can, I have to face what I'm scared to think about, and I know that everyone inside that house knows how to give me what I want.

I need to see this Nathan and figure out what happened to me and why the hell he did this.

Then maybe…maybe I can live in peace.

Maybe.

So did you like it? I hope so:) Review and tell me what you think!