Once again I have to thank Susanpr for saving my butt. AGAIN. shakes head
Assward: laughs and points at IG You seriously suck at making sure only to mess up chapters you have copies of, you know that? What did you do, piss of the FF Gods or something? laughs some more
Shut up, Assward.
Enjoy the chapter!!!
BPOV
Tanya entered the room, unerringly making her way towards where I sat curled up on the kitchen chair next to the bed despite the dark. She half-sat on the bedside desk next to me, looking between me and Edward with a slightly amused smile.
"Bella, he's not going anywhere," she slowly said, as if I were a child.
I simply glared at her.
After a moment, she continued. "That means you can go hunting."
I snorted. "I just went less than three days ago," I pointed out testily. "I don't need to hunt that often anymore, thank you."
Tanya reached up and mused her hair, somehow making it appear even sexier than before. Which was incredibly unfair, just in the general order of life. Just like people who got their original figures back after they were pregnant, and people who could eat a bag a chips a day and drink all the soda they wanted, yet never gain an ounce. Yet it was basically impossible to hate Tanya. She was a sweet girl, beyond the whole sex-goddess persona.
"Well, yeah. I know that," she laughed a little. "But you're completely stressed out. It would be very relaxing to expel all that energy boiling under your pretty little surface." She danced her fingers along my shoulder and down my arm. I swatted her hand away in annoyance and she just laughed, grinning teasingly.
After a moment, her grin faded and she tilted her head to catch my eyes. "I am serious, though. Hunting would relax you greatly."
I shook my head. "I want to be here," I insisted.
She dragged me off of the chair. "And you will be," she said cheerfully. "After you hunt, so you're not going to stress him out - once he awakens - by the fact that you're about ready to jump a mile at the drop of a pin."
I glared at her over my shoulder as she shoved me down the stairs. "You can be a real bossy bitch, you know that?"
She grinned and nodded happily, like it was great news. I rolled my eyes, allowing a small smile to tug up my lips, and went out into the dark cold of Alaska.
Alaska was nothing like anywhere else in the world that I had seen thus far. It was beautiful and terrible, rugged and calm. It was a place of contradictions, and perhaps that was what I loved about it the most. That being here I could feel so small and so significant at the same time.
I spent an hour hunting, reveling in the wilderness of Alaska. For a hunt, that was incredibly short, and I was soon hurrying back to the house. I climbed the stairs and frowned at seeing Tanya in my seat in Edward's room. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. "Alice said he should be waking up soon. I didn't want to let him wake up alone, and we didn't know when you'd be back…."
I leaned against the wall, feeling oddly possessive. Tanya was pretty, seductive; I'd been serious when I'd told Edward I wasn't sure I ever wanted him meeting the Denali sisters.
Tanya didn't help my possessive streak when she added, "He's fucking gorgeous."
My first instinct was to hiss mine! at her, but I managed to tamp that and the red haze down and nod once curtly. My eyes followed her as she stood up, stretching, grinned languidly at me, and left the room, closing the door.
I quickly sat in the chair next to Edward, folding my legs on the seat and resting my elbows on my knees so I could lean forward towards him. His scent was changing as the venom slowly finished coursing through his body. His heart was faint now, his breathing almost indiscernible. It really was just a simple matter of time now, and not a lot of it.
I wondered what he'd remember. I wasn't sure I wanted him to remember his mother attacking him. Yet I didn't want to be the one to tell him about it, either. Which would be best for Edward?
How would he react upon awakening? Newborns were always irrational and volatile, but the degree of that depended on many factors. The circumstances of death, the person themselves, their familiarity with those they awake surrounded by.
Sighing quietly, I reached a hand out and brushed a sweat-dampened lock of hair out of his eyes. His breathing was almost finished, his heart giving some last frantic and weak spasms.
I sat there for an hour watching and waiting. The closer to waking Edward became, the more still I grew. Eventually, I realized I was holding my breath in anticipation.
I closed my eyes as his heart gave a final, half-hearted stuttering beat before falling still and silent. There was no noise in the Denali household. No one was moving, no one was breathing. All of us were waiting for Edward to open his eyes, to make a move, to do something. Anything. I was sure Jasper was dying from the overload of anticipation.
A hand brushed across my cheek and my eyes shot open to meet the bright crimson of Edward's gaze.
It was shocking. Even though I'd expected the change in color, even though I'd known they'd turn such a vivid red, it was such a shock. It was such a different color from the vibrant green his eyes had been before. A part of me lamented that I'd never see that green again.
But I'd have Edward for forever. That's what was most important.
His eyes scanned my face, slightly widened in surprise. He took in a deep breath suddenly, probably suddenly realizing he wasn't breathing. He blinked several times then grinned.
"Hey," he said quietly.
He seemed so… in control. I was amazed, but also cautious. Newborns were irrational and that was that. At some point, he'd crack.
"Hey," I responded, reaching out to touch his cheek as well. His grin widened, and he tilted his head into my palm, eyes closing and a soft purr climbing out of his throat. I grinned widely, feeling a strange sense of pride in the fact that I could make him purr so satisfactorily. All the times he'd brought the same sound from me, and now I brought it from him.
His face nuzzled slightly at my hand, his eyes still shut.
Then, of all people who should have known better, Alice opened the door quickly, excitedly.
Edward's entire personality changed from docile to antagonistic in a split second. He leapt backwards, landing in a crouch, deep growls echoing from his chest. Alice froze, eyes wide, and I spared a fast, annoyed glance over my shoulder at her.
"I saw he'd be fine with it," she tried to weakly defend. We both knew that it didn't matter what she saw concerning a newborn. They were too volatile and indecisive to make any of her visions accurate.
"Out," I snapped in irritation. Alice quietly shut the door as she stepped back out of the room and I focused my attention back at Edward.
Slowly, I stood up from the chair, holding my hands in front of myself and backing away a few steps.
"It's okay, Edward," I murmured. "Sorry Alice startled you."
He actually looked afraid, which saddened me. He'd backed up until his back was to a corner of the room, and he was watching all the exits, as if he expected someone to come at him out of nowhere.
I tried stepping towards him and he snarled a violent warning. I backed off again.
Carlisle slipped into the room, despite Edward's obvious upset, and spoke quietly from the wall behind me.
"It's likely his instincts are reminding him of the last moments he remembers, even if it's just subconsciously. It's understandable that he's exceptionally defensive, even around people he knows, and would usually trust. After all, it was his own mother who nearly killed him," Carlisle finished sadly.
I nodded, swallowing. "Should I take him hunting?"
"No," Carlisle replied after a few moments thought. "Take him once he is calmed down and relatively in control again. For now, we can just wait for him to regain control of his instincts once again." He paused, then added, "I'm going to leave you alone in here, Bella. He would trust you sooner than any of the rest of us. If you need us, just call."
I waited until Carlisle left the room, albeit somewhat reluctantly, before taking another small step towards Edward. He growled at me, but I didn't let it stop me this time. I made it about three or four steps more, before he snapped at me threateningly. So I stopped once again.
"We killed Helen," I said, not liking the silence. Well, it was silent except for his growls, which weren't all that helpful. "I tore her head off and Carlisle and Esme set her on fire. Elizabeth… we don't know where she is," I explained apologetically. "Perhaps one day we can search for her. I don't know." I shrugged, then tilted my head at him. "You're safe here, Edward, I promise."
"I don't recognize…." he started, then frowned, shaking his head. Growled in frustration.
"We're in the Denali house," I reminded him slowly. "You're probably picking up on their scents and the surrounding scents of Alaska. I promise you, though, you're perfectly safe."
I took some more steps forward as Edward closed his eyes and clenched his fists, obviously trying to get control of himself. He was breathing deeply and sharply through his nose, an effort to calm down I guessed.
Right when I stopped just in front of him, his eyes shot open, dark and hungry.
He launched himself onto me, growling deep in his chest, his hands closing around my wrists, restraining. My back pressed into the floor and Edward leaned over me, his nose brushing along the length of my neck as he inhaled sharply.
I froze, eyes wide, feeling panic creep up my chest, when Edward's tongue darted out. At first, it just flashed against my skin quickly, killing the panic and turning it to shock. That changed to pleasure as he flattened his tongue against the base of my neck and slowly dragged it upwards again.
I moaned. In turn, he let out a satisfied growl, nuzzling my neck and down to my breasts. After a moment, he lifted his head. With a short, sharp growl, he grabbed the top of the fabric of my shirt that was resting at the top of my cleavage and yanked. It tore with a harsh sound, fluttering from his mouth to rest on either side of my torso. He dipped his head and returned to nestling my breasts, his tongue occasionally dipping past his lips to wet my skin as he dragged his lips everywhere across my chest.
I struggled a little, trying to free my hands, itching to run my fingers through his hair, to lock them in place and drag his mouth up to mine. His soft growls gained a hard note, fingers tightening around my wrists pointedly.
For the first time in our relationship, I was weaker than Edward. I couldn't make him lift his head to kiss me like I had before. I couldn't make him do anything.
Edward's teeth lightly nipped at my earlobe, making me gasp and arch up into him. He ground back into me, a deep purr rumbling out of his chest. I felt the vibrations of it where we touched, and it made me shiver in pleasure.
Finally, finally, his lips brushed just before mine, not quite touching but oh so close. He did that a few times, pulling back every time I pressed forward to try to reach his lips. I could tell he was enjoying himself, see the spark of smug amusement in his eyes.
"Please," I asked breathily.
He groaned, and crushed his lips against mine. It was harsh, possessive, demanding; I finally managed to yank my wrists free and wrap them around Edward, pulling us tighter together.
We broke apart, panting, staring at each other with wide eyes. After a few moments, I laughed breathlessly, sitting upright and folding my legs. Edward mimicked my movement, reaching out to grab my hand in his. He began fiddling with my fingers mindlessly, head tilted.
"Are you okay?" I asked, because I just knew… something was bothering him.
He sighed a few moments later, glancing up at me, then away to the wall across the room. His eyes were sightless, sad.
"I remembered. I mean… I knew it, I knew what happened. But… it didn't really… connect. Not until Alice burst in. The door slammed on the wall, making that noise…. It was so similar to the noise the door made when Mom burst in." He closed his eyes, taking a deep supportive breath.
"I'm so sorry, Edward." I swallowed, closing my eyes. "If I-"
"Please," he said desperately, eyes snapping back to mine, frantic. "Don't blame yourself. Please don't do that. I know better than anyone else what fucking blame and guilt can do to a person. You don't need that type of shit hanging over your head. It's not your fault, babe. It's not even her fault. She couldn't help herself right?" He shook his head, looking at the floor between us. "It's not my fault, either."
He was trying to convince himself right then, and I knew it. I squeezed his hand with my own and smiled at him when he flicked a glance back towards me. "No, it's not."
I rose, pulling him up with me. "Come on. Let's go take you for your first hunt," I said teasingly, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled at me, and tugged my hand. He wasn't used to his strength, though, and I crashed into his chest and we stumbled several paces backwards, laughing.
"Oops," he chuckled.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and stretched up to kiss his chin. "Watch it, mister."
He laughed, letting me step away. I spared a glance for my torn shirt on the floor, then shook my head and wandered to the dresser. This was Kate's room; she wouldn't mind if I borrowed a shirt of hers. I tugged it over my head, letting go of Edward's hand to do so, then grabbed it back quickly. He followed me to the door and downstairs.
Tanya popped up from the couch, gliding over to us with a large smile. Edward raised his brows as he saw her, and I suddenly felt a searing jealousy sizzle my blood. Jasper chuckled, and I glared so darkly at him that he instantly shut up.
"Hello, Edward, I'm Tanya. I've heard so much about you," she gushed.
For the first time ever, I wanted to tear her eyes out of her skull. I'd never understood why it upset Alice and Rosalie so much when Tanya would innocently flirt with their mates. I didn't think Tanya could help it - she just had to flirt with everyone. Maybe it was something of a power for her, but she was naturally flirty.
Now I got it. Now I hated it.
The red haze turned up several notches.
Edward went to shake her hand, murmuring something about the pleasure being all his - asshole - when Tanya yanked him in for a hug, pressing her large chest against him.
I was going to burn her 'knockers' off, I swear to god.
EPOV
Everything was so different. It was like several things were processing at once, like I was multitasking at an extreme rate. Some part of me was processing all the new smells and what they meant and who or what they belonged to. Another was taking in all these finite details I'd never noticed before. Like how dust looked in the air or how the light glinted just barely off of everyone's skin, causing them to glimmer faintly. And on top of all of that, there was this nagging urge to do things. To hunt, to run, to fight, to finally have Bella as I'd wanted her for I couldn't remember just how long.
Then there was the steady burn in my throat, distracting me from focusing on anything else for very long.
The woman hugging me had to be the infamous Tanya Bella had told me about. One of the original succubae, wasn't that how Bella had described her? I could see why; the chick looked good, large and round in all the right places yet with a thin waist. Her hair was that strange red-blond, her eyes the same gold as the Cullens.
But she held not a single fucking candle against my Bella.
I released her from the hug, just in time to realize - somehow - that Bella was about to attack Tanya, viciously and dangerously, and she'd regret it greatly afterwards. Somehow… I could see it all in my head. Whirling around, I grabbed Bella around the waist just as she launched herself, yanking her to my chest as she struggled angrily.
She was hissing something, her words blending together, but I gathered she thought I was defending Tanya. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Like I really cared what happened to the woman? I'd let Bella attack her, except I just… knew it would upset Bella greatly.
I didn't want Bella upset. Ever.
Rosalie shook her head, smirking, and gestured for me to follow her. We stepped out a door onto a large winding porch, and down the steps onto the snow.
"Just carry her out into the woods," Rosalie chuckled. "She'll come out of the Red once she has a chance to calm down a bit." She laughed again. "Then she'll show you the ropes of a hunt." She turned for the house, but froze for a second before turning back to me. Her hand landed on her shoulder and she smiled. "I'm glad you're okay, Edward. And welcome to the family." Her brows waggled at that last one and she laughed as she turned back inside.
I carted Bella for a while, into the woods and deeper inside until she finally stilled in my arms, panting. I set her down on her feet, gently turning her to face me. She wouldn't look at me, so I grabbed her chin and forced her eyes to mine.
A part of me noted that I could do that now. I could make her look at me, I could keep her from moving out of my grasp unlike before.
"Hey," I said tenderly. "Babe, it's okay."
She glared at me defiantly suddenly. "Do you like her?"
I was confused. "Who? Tanya?" I shrugged when she nodded sharply. "Yeah. Sure."
Her glare intensified and a growl climbed her throat. I didn't get it. "Bella, what-" Then it hit me, and I laughed, shaking my head. I realized this upset Bella more, but I just found it so ridiculous. "Bella," I chided. "She seems nice and all, but I don't feel anything for her. All the lust I feel, all the," I swallowed, the word still so new and unfamiliar, yet seeming right on my lips going to her. "All the love I feel, it's all just for you. No one else. Never anyone else. Just you," I whispered, leaning down and kissing her.
The urges grew louder then, roaring through me and making it difficult to focus on anything else in my mind.
I backed her against a boulder covered in snow, my hands tightly gripping her arms, shifting to pin them above her head. Bella arched closer, kissing me back just as frantically. I groaned, pushing a thigh between her legs and up.
She gasped and groaned loudly.
A growl hiked up my throat, deep and echoing in the silent woods around us. The compulsion to make her mine - make sure everyone knew she was mine dammit! - roared through me, and again I knew what acting on that compulsion would mean. And I liked it. I moved my lips to attack her neck, and found myself unable to stop from opening my lips, my mouth, and biting her neck.
"Edward!" she gasped, trying to yank away. I didn't let her, laving the broken skin on her neck with my tongue several times until the small wound closed again.
She tried to knee me and I dodged out of the way, kissing her neck gently. "Bella," I whispered. Another growl worked its way through me. "Bella," I repeated, lower this time. I dragged my parted lips over her skin growling at the shirt that got in my way too quickly.
Her knee slammed into my stomach.
With a snarl, I jumped away from her, glaring blackly.
Bella glared back, one hand reaching up to touch the mark on her neck. The bite mark I'd left. A pleased, primal growl rumbled from me. Mine. My mate.
"What the hell!" she yelled at me, stalking forward and hitting me on the chest. My hand darted out to grab hers, then snatched the other one when she lifted it to hit me. Her frustration grew obviously, and she snarled at me, trying to yank free.
"Why'd you bite me!" she snapped, finally stilling her struggles.
I growled low in my chest. "Mine."
Her mouth opened to retort when she stopped, slowly grinning, eyes darkening in pleasure. She stepped closer until our chests brushed, and then she nuzzled her face into mine. With a soft purr, she asked, "Is that why?" She chuckled. "Possessive much Edward?"
The feeling of her so close. Of her rubbing her face against my chest so intimately. I wanted her. I needed her. Now. Now, now, now!
I yanked her mouth up to mine, holding her face tightly between my palms. What surprised me - pleasantly - was when she put her hands on my shoulders and hopped up to wrap her legs around my waist. A delighted purr vibrated between us - mine, hers? I wasn't sure.
My hands slid under the shirt, rubbing against her bare skin. More. More, more, moremoremoremore!
Her fingers twisted and tugged at my hair.
Our teeth clacked together, our lips desperate.
Never once did I have to come up for air. It was wonderful.
Suddenly, Bella yanked away, panting. I continued my way down her throat, stopping only to lick greedily, possessively, at the faint scar my bite had left in her skin. Permanently. I shivered with the delight and desire such a thought brought along, the urges in me pleased, but not content. Demanding more.
"Edward," she murmured. "You need to hunt. We can't… we shouldn't." Her words were choppy, but firm. "Not here. Not now."
I tensed, torn. Part of me wanted to listen to her because it was what she wanted and she probably was right. But so demanding were the urges, so intense and strong, that I couldn't think.
Her fingers stroked my cheek gently, moving down to trace my jaw. I stared into her eyes, finding some form of control in doing so. She smiled sweetly and tenderly, and I braced my forehead against hers.
"Okay," I breathed. "Okay." Swallowing against the burn - which seemed to have blazed higher as I denied my arousal - I lowered her gently to her feet. She grabbed my hand in hers and led me deeper into the woods, breathing deeply.
"A lot of it is letting yourself go. Animals smell no where as arousing as humans do, they couldn't possibly smell as good. But it helps curb the temptation. Depending on how long you go without feeding, your control may be stronger or weaker; though, it also depends on the will of the person." She glanced over her shoulder at me and grinned. I sped up my pace to walk beside her.
"Once you catch the scent, just let your instincts take control. You'll know what to do." She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "As a newborn, you need to hunt more often, and of course you'll be stronger and faster. That'll wear off in about a year. Enjoy it while it lasts. Until you can control your thirst, we'll make sure to keep you far from civilization as possible. After a few years, we'll slowly reintegrate you." She smiled sadly at me. "Perhaps you'll be able to finish high school in less than a decade, if you do really well."
I tightened my grip on her hand, bringing her to a stop, and kissed her quickly. It was the only way to keep the lust from blazing too high once again.
"Ten years with you all to myself? Sounds good to me."
She laughed and moved forward once again.
It took a while for us to find a scent. I kept getting distracted by things, which she explained casually was normal too, and then I kept wanting to stop to touch her. She'd laugh, let me for a little while, then urge us on.
I wasn't distracted once a scent hit my senses that made the burn rage higher than before. I didn't think, I shot off towards it.
Things went hazy in those moments. I saw a meal in front of me, saw it unaware of a predator nearby. I scaled a tree, knowing that launching onto it from above would be the best tactic of attack. I waited until it moved directly below me. I dropped down.
I sunk my teeth into it and shook violently with bliss that was almost ecstasy. It slithered across my tongue, down my throat, coating the burn until it faded somewhat. I was purring loudly until the last drop past my lips, which is when it became a growl of desperate frustration.
More. I needed more.
I wanted more.
I rose, scenting the air around me.
There. Somewhere to my right. I shot off in that direction, running so fast that the landscape around me blurred into single colors. I didn't stalk carefully this time, I leapt directly out of the trees onto my prey, taking it down and sinking my teeth in, drinking with delight.
I was breathing heavily and unnecessarily when I rose that time, but the burn felt muted. I looked around, frowning at the lack of recognition of the forest. Shit. I'd fucking gotten myself lost, hadn't I?
Where was Bella?
I turned in a slow circle, a small sense of panic rising up. What if I couldn't find her? What would I do then? What if she was in trouble and needed help? I wouldn't be there to protect her.
A slightly hazy memory rose up, of my mother before me threatening to kill Bella. Bella said they'd lost Mom. What if she hadn't lost them?
Fearful, I looked around and dashed off the way I thought I'd come. I kept sorting through the scents on the air, searching for Bella's unique one. Good, so good. Like freshly cut strawberries in the summer. Just thinking of her scent made me lick my lips.
It took much longer than I would have liked to find even a hint of her scent. I shot in the direction it had drifted from, desperate to reach her. Slowly - far too slowly - it grew stronger. And with it came another scent, one that cause my nose to scrunch and lips to curl in a snarl.
Danger whispered the urges
I burst through the trees into a huge expanse of unbroken white snow.
Bella was standing there, talking quickly with a boy. He seemed familiar, but his scent was the one that warned the urges. They told me not to trust him, while some faint recollection insisted I could. I stopped, confused, shaking my head slowly, then clutching it as the confusion grew. Did I listen to the urges of that faint memory?
"Hey Edward."
My head shot up, staring at the kid. He stayed behind Bella, quite a distance away, watching me cautiously. Bella murmured something to him, smiling kindly, and then came forward towards me.
I couldn't help but draw her behind me, watching the boy carefully.
Bella's hands massaged my shoulders. She leaned forward, putting her lips at my ear. "It's okay. That's Seth, remember? The Pup?"
I did remember, now that she'd said his name. He'd helped me, befriended me. He'd kept Bella safe when he didn't have to. He was a friend.
"You stink."
Seth grinned, throwing back his head and laughing. Bella chuckled against my ear, making shivers race along my skin. When Seth finally stopped laughing, he shook his head at me. "I don't know when you smelled worse - after you got drunk and high, or now."
I flipped him off with a roll of my eyes.
While the urges still insisted he was dangerous, they were easier to ignore now that I truly recognized him. He was a friend. No matter what anyone else said - even these fucking vampire instincts - I knew I could trust him with not only my life, but something far more important.
Bella's.
"I have to get back to the Rez," Seth said. "But I'll try to keep in touch, okay?"
"How are things?" I asked abruptly. "How's Leah? And Sue, is your mom okay?"
Seth smiled and nodded. "They're fine. I… didn't tell Mom what happened, though. Didn't know if you'd want me to."
I hesitated, then shrugged. "Whichever you think would be best, kid. I trust you."
Seth grinned and nodded. "As for the Pack…." He shrugged. "When I left, Jacob was planning to challenge Sam. With Jared dead, the Pack is in turmoil. It's the best time for him to do so." In a mutter, he added, "Not that I want to follow either of them."
"Maybe you should take charge," I laughed.
"Oh, yeah, sure." Seth rolled his eyes, sarcasm clear. "See you around," he added, turning. As I watched, the wolf exploded from him and he ran off into the snow.
I twisted around to face Bella, tracing a hand down from her temple to her lips. "I was worried," I said. "I couldn't find you."
She shrugged, smiling up at me happily. "You found me now."
I grinned. "Hell yeah I did. I wasn't about to let you get away from me now that we're on equal grounds." I lifted her up in my arms suddenly, throwing her over one shoulder. I could smell the Cullens and Tanya from here, albeit it barely. I could find my way back to the house.
Bella punched my back. "Edward Anthony Masen, put me down this instant or I'll-"
"What?" I laughed sharply, rolling my eyes and grinning. "Put me in a corner? Give me a spanking?" I lightly slapped her bottom with that last one, grin turning sly.
"Edward!" she yelled.
I just laughed. It was so good to be on equal ground with her. She'd not be getting away from me now….
Tada! probably one chapter after this - maybe two - and PD will be over. sniffles That's really depressing.
Assward: Hell, IG, I think I might actually miss you. And the readers. Think maybe I'll have an interview put on the blog before you finish? Or should we do that after, hahaha!
shrugs Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoyed! Have great weekends everyone!!! Kisses and Hugs! (The chocolate kind, unless you want the other kind, too.)
