A/N: Hi, readers. I'm sorry this chapter took a while to come out, but I really wrestled with myself over this one. I actually got about 2,000 words written before I decided I hated the turn the chapter had taken.

I sometimes get a little depressed that I can't write like my favorite Fanfic story of all time. I feel that, because I can't write at that level, I have no business writing a story. But then I try to imagine all of you sitting in a room staring at me, waiting for another chapter to come out, and that helps a little.


It's difficult to explain the immensity of the awkwardness that follows first kisses. But hopefully, in describing the conversations that followed, you will have some understanding.

The kiss was probably my favorite of all time. It was like being wrapped in a campfire that didn't burn you, but wrapped you in the softness that flames always seem to promise. With all the pretty words human boys had ever promised, none could hold a candle to this demon.

In his arms, I felt divine.

But when we moved apart, I felt woefully human again.

It took me a moment to remember what parts of my brain were necessary to speak. I licked my lips, trying to soothe the lingering heat.

"Um… I vote we table all discussions on this until after I have made some tea. Do you second?"

More painful silence.

"Alright."

We walked inside in complete silence. I was trying to think of the perfect thing to say about what had just happened - but no cohesive sentences were forming in my head.

In the kitchen, I brewed a stiff pot of tea. I grabbed two mugs, adding plenty of sugar to mine. Hiei stood in the kitchen doorway, hands hidden in his pockets.

"Do you want any tea?" I offered, teapot already poised over the second mug

"I've never had it before." He said quietly.

"Well, it's better than black coffee and not as good as hot chocolate." I handed him a steaming mug.

The silence hung between us for a time, before I blurted out a quick series of thoughts.

"Look - I'm just happy that I didn't die in that river in California, so I don't have any expectations for anything, like, at all. Whatever this is… is what it will be." I waved a hand between us, blushing a little.

"Are you suggesting you want this to continue?"

"Do you? I mean, that's really what it comes down to, right?"

"Answer my question."

"Is that the demon equivalent of 'I asked you first'?" I sighed. "I feel horribly vulnerable saying this, but yes. I do want this to continue."

"Hn. Then- " He stopped short in the statement, glancing to the side. At the same moment I recognized the quiet tip-tap of footsteps, Hiei flickered out of view. A moment later, Yukina appeared in the doorway.

"Aria-chan! Is everything alright?" The little Koorime sounded so worried about me. It didn't help that I was standing in the kitchen by myself with a bewildered sort of look on my face.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just… processing the day."

"Oh, well I apologize if I disturbed you."

"Wait – Yukina – uh, what do you think of Hiei?"

"Hiei-san?" I nodded, and she thought for a moment. "He's complicated. There are a lot of things he could tell us, but chooses not to."

Yukina, with a tiny smile, was a brief vision of wisdom and sadness. There was a great secret hanging between her and Hiei, I gathered. And whatever it was, Yukina was on the informed side of said secret.

"There are a few more steps to be made, I think. But he'll get there. He's done a lot of good, though he won't admit to most of it." She giggled, covering her mouth with a delicate hand. I wasn't sure what to say in reply, but Yukina closed the conversation. "I'm glad you're alright, Aria-chan. Get some rest, alright?"

"Yeah, I'm headed to bed as soon as I finish this." I lifted the tea in gesture, and she replied with a beaming smile.

Hiei did not reappear after she left. I waited in the kitchen for a while, waiting, not drinking my tea. It was stone cold when I surrendered to the night. Silence and time to think have always been my worst enemy when it comes to self-doubt.

Hiei had disappeared when Yukina walked towards our conversation. There was definitely some deep secret between Hiei and Yukina, but no one was talking about it.

I wasn't sure what actions between the two to call significant to this great secret. I had never seen Hiei get angry around the gentle demoness, but that may not be important. Or it could be. He had collected her tear gems with care, but so might anyone else who cared for her wellbeing, so I couldn't place that action either.

It was terribly frustrating.

There was definitely something, and the endless possibilities ate at me.

I tried to sleep, but could only roll in endless possibilities.


I did not sleep well.

I hunched over my cereal at breakfast like an ex-felon, glaring sourly at the green and orange circles bobbing in the milk.

I. Hate. Everything.

This was not an uncommon thought for me. Typically it was preceded by a night of heavy alcohol drinking and raucous partying, but unexplained kisses and over-thinking could definitely lead to sour thoughts.

I swirled my spoon in the cereal, and sighed.

"I need to go back to my apartment. My friends might have called the police already." I announced across the table. Genkai had been ignoring my sighs and sours looks all morning.

I had been incredibly smart enough to leave my cell phone in the apartment before running off to Spirit World to have some demonic energy removed. Kichirou and Eiko used to text me every day, so I was about three days behind on frantic emojis, I was sure.

"Then go. Hiei will keep an eye out." As the fire demon had yet to make an appearance, I don't know how she was planning on getting the message about his upcoming babysitting job, but I shrugged. Whatever, I had permission, and that cheered me up enough to finish my cereal without further hateful thoughts.

It was sort of weird wearing the clothes I kept in the temple again. They were all the hand-me-downs from Keiko and Shizuru, and none of the clothes I had collected for "Jessica" at my apartment. I opened the wrong drawer in the dresser accidentally, and a familiar green-gold glitter greeted me. I had forgotten all about the sequined dress. I stroked the fabric with a finger, reveling in the slippery material. I shut the drawer, and retrieved more practical clothing from the next drawer down.

I went out into the world in jeans and a tank top. This time there was no cab waiting for me at the bottom of Genkai's eternally long stairs. In no rush, I took my time descending. I was listening for any sign that Hiei was following – rustling branches, quick footsteps – but could detect nothing. I certainly hoped that I had some sort of security following.

I weighed the idea of sending a thought to Hiei. I had done it yesterday when my throat was crushed, but… that was before. Now… I didn't know what conversation might follow. I was sort of hurt that I had admitted a relationship with Hiei was something I wanted, and he had vanished in the middle of a response.

Damn it, Hiei, what were you going to say? I thought to myself. I was too chicken to throw that thought his way.

I wasn't sure I was going to like the answer, and that scared me.

As expected, the street was all but abandoned below. I knew I would have to walk a little while before I saw any traffic, but it wasn't the walk that seemed daunting. I would be further alone with my thoughts, the possibilities, my confusion, and my hurt. It was stirring into a giant shit-storm, that was for sure.

I caught a cab about a mile down the street, and slid into the backseat. I gave the driver the address, and off we went. I stared out the window, hoping to catch a flicker of black in the trees, or on a rooftop, but no luck.

Doubt is a heavy burden on the heart.

Try to appreciate a sunny day when you're weighted down by doubt.

I tapped my forehead against the glass. Stop overthinking things. You'll get a chance to talk soon.

Everything is fine. I repeated to myself. Everything is fine.

My phone had no charge when I finally tracked it down in the apartment. But when it finally turned on again, I had correctly predicted the incredible number of texts that was waiting for me. I chuckled as I scrolled through the various 'hellooooooooo?' messages, the veiled demands for a response, the actual demands for a response, followed by several missed calls and voicemails.

I openly laughed as a new text message arrived at that moment from Eiko : 'txt me or im calling the cops!'.

In a few quick taps the phone was ringing, and she picked up on the first ring. "Where have you been?!" Eiko screamed in my ear.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I thought, still laughing. "I went away for the weekend and forgot my phone is all – won't happen again." I tried to reassure her, but I was still subjected to a long lecture on friendship and valuing friends and courtesy before Eiko finally turned the conversation back around to focus on me.

"Kichi says you dumped him for another guy? What the hell!?" Whoops. I had forgotten about Hiei's near-nude scene only a few days ago.

"Uh, I don't have an explanation for that."

"I'm not judging you; I just thought everything was going great." Eiko was flighty like that, and for once it managed to work in my favor.

"Kichi and I make better friends, I think."

"It's your bedroom, Jess, whatever. You're meeting me for lunch, right?" Eiko demanded.

"Yes, yes, of course."

"Good, because we need to make plans!"


In her demanding way, Eiko managed to convince me to go out with her that night. Arata and Kichirou would join us, of course. While she had been concerned over the phone about our sudden 'break-up', when it came to planning a night at the club everyone had better be friends. Or else. No one ruined Eiko's club nights.

It was almost like stepping back in time one month. I was in the apartment, enjoying Eiko's verbal floundering and Kichi's pleasant company. And I was thinking about Hiei, but not too much.

It was nice to be able to choose from my own closet. It was getting warmer, so I didn't think it was wise to wear my leather patchwork leggings again. I chose a black skirt that hugged nicely from my hips all the way to my knees; very form-fitting, but still not too revealing. That and a breezy blue oversized t-shirt that nearly hung off my shoulders, black pumps, a few pieces of jewelry for pizzazz, and I was ready to go out.

Like always, I took a cab to the club of Eiko's choosing. Kichi had been waiting for me outside, and we met up with Eiko and Arata inside. As always, it was loud, and hot, and there were about 50% more people in the little basement club than any fire marshall would ever allow.

Moving around the room I realized with odd satisfaction that there were no windows at all inside the club. If I were in fact being watched and protected, my guardian would need to make themselves known somewhere in the building.

Kichi and I enjoyed a series of knowing smiles and waggling eyebrows as Eiko reminded us again that we needed to be civil with each other. We promised that we would, and left her and Arata on the dance floor while we approached an alcohol dispensing station. Ahhh, alcohol.

Scarcely had a few sips warmed my chest when Kichi's eyes grew wide, staring over my shoulder.

"Jess – isn't that…?" I followed Kichi's gaze. My heart sped as my eyes dragged across the crowd.

Have you seen two magnets drawn together across a space? When far apart, they don't seem to move at any great speed. But as you push them closer, there comes a moment when the magnetic attraction clicks, and they speed across the surface towards each other, slamming together in an attempt to become one piece of metal.

That's exactly what happened with my eyes.

My eyes sped through the crowd and slammed to a stop when they met red.

Hiei.

I set my drink on the counter hastily, almost spilling it. "I'll be right back. Cover for me, ok?"

I fought my way through the crowded dance floor, answering to the magnetic power of those red eyes. Surly as hell, Hiei looked damn good. Gone was the familiar cloak. He wasn't wearing his typical fighting clothes either. Someone had managed to wrestle him into a deep red button-down shirt, black slacks, and oxfords. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, and the top button on his shirt was undone.

"I don't like this place." He growled as I approached. He was leaned up against a wall, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He certainly looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"I'm surprised you're here." I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. His discomfort was contagious

His eyes narrowed. "Why."

"I haven't seen you all day, and now you're here." I shrugged, trying to shake his burning eyes.

"You were told I would be following you." Hiei broke his lean from the wall, taking half a step towards me, which I matched with a half-step back.

"And you're stuck in a room full of humans – your least favorite people. You don't have to stay, Hiei. I'm sure you can just vanish and no one will even notice."

"What's wrong with you." He said it as such a declarative statement my blood flashed to boil.

"Nothing's wrong with me! I'm an amazing person! I just told someone that I wanted to be with them, and for some reason they vanished into thin air instead of answering me!" I don't know why those words were coming out of my mouth. I sounded like an awful bitch, but the shit-storm had been brewing all day and all night, and now that he was in front of me all hell was breaking loose in my head. "But if you don't want me, that's fine! I get it! I'm sure I can find someone in this dark, sweaty, basement club who-" As I turned away from him to gesture at the room full of sweaty human men, Hiei caught my arm.

"I want you." He said quietly.

"What?" My heart rate had skyrocketed, and it wasn't from my anger.

"You heard me. This isn't a game." And just like that, my frustration spiked again.

I pulled my arm out of his grasp – he wasn't holding tightly. "I know that! How can you say you want me when you ran away last night?"

"I did not run."

"The fuck you didn't." I hissed. Hiei looked exasperated. "What? What am I missing here, Hiei?"

"I wanted to give you a choice." He hissed. He glanced around the room, and his voice purred to life in the back of my mind. In the Makai, if you have something precious or desirable, there is always another who will try to take it away from you. Not because they want it, but because they want to hurt you. If anyone were to learn that I desire you, I can't guarantee your safety.

"Oh cut the teen romance novel bullshit." I snapped.

"I know what I want, and I know you want the same, but that's the reality. Make your choice." Hiei snapped right back.

"You're an asshole." Shots fired.

"So you've said."

We glared at each other in some sort of mutual frustration. I was certainly digging in my heels on this, but to what end? I had worked myself into what I felt was righteous fury by turning assumptions and conjecture over and over in my head. Hiei had simply been a hit-and-run casualty of my raging emotions.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my reptilian desire to continue fighting. I had to resist my fight-or-flight instincts and just allow myself to be a regular person. I wasn't in grave danger at this very moment, and I was being a little ridiculous to boot.

I sighed deeply, and it relieved a little of the tension in my shoulders. "Well, I'm already marked for dead, so I may as well have a chance at being happy and marked for dead."

Hiei looked at me suspiciously, obviously still expecting an argument. "What does that mean?"

I offered a bemused smile. "It means… I would like to kiss you now. If that's ok."

"Hn. Nothing stopping you." Hiei smirked. Cheeky bastard.

He didn't move an inch, waiting for me to cover what little ground remained between us. I did so almost hesitantly, again waiting for some trick or twist of fate to strike me down. Instead, I was wrapped in the embrace of Hiei's fiery aura, and a calloused hand reached for my cheek as I grasped his shoulder. Oblivious to the whump-whump-whump of the music and the mass of human bodies gyrating around us, I kissed the fire demon. And I damn sure liked it.

When I broke the kiss to breathe (somewhat important), Hiei glanced around the room. Even while sweeping me off my feet, the man was still ever-watchful for danger.

"Hn. You have reassured your friends that you're not dead, we can go now."

I pouted at Hiei's declaration. "Hey, maybe I want to dance a little."

Hiei snorted."This is not dancing."

"Look at you being all picky about human stuff." I teased, poking his arm.

Hiei responded to my teasing poke by snaking an arm around my waist, gently pulling me closer. He spoke very quietly into my ear, the gentle tone setting my heart all a-flutter. "If you want to dance, then I will find a time and a place for that. But for now, we should leave."

I cleared my throat to answer, but it didn't clear the fuzz developing on my brain. Gosh he was attractive. "Lead the way, O angry one."

He smirked. Cheeky bastard.