Chapter 29
I am not a chicken. I thought firmly to myself as I walked up Embry's front walk, my heart pounding in my chest. I am not a chicken. I feel like a chicken, but I am not one. I sighed as I readjusted my purse on my shoulder, reaching out to knock on the front door of the home. I had to do this though, and this was the hardest part.
I had to ask Ms. Call what the hell she'd been thinking all these years.
I'd watched Embry grow up without a dad, watched him flounder uncomfortably at father-son events at school and other places. Ms. Call could have demanded Mr. Black get involved—Mr. Black, with three children. He was already a father, he can't have been scared of parenting: I didn't understand. I just didn't understand what kind of breakdown had occurred in my friends' parents' brains to allow Jake and Embry to both get to eighteen—eighteen—without realizing that they were brothers.
"Rosie!" Ms. Call said warmly as she opened the door, and my heart sank a little as she pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged her back. Embry's Mom was too nice. It sucked. If she'd been bitchy this would have worked out fine, I could yell at her, defend Embry, explain that what she'd done had been legitimately emotionally scarring.
But Ms. Call was so nice.
So I pulled away and, because I am Queen Awkward of Awkward-Land, I just spluttered out the words I'd been planning to build up to: "I know who Embry's dad is."
Ms. Call's warm smile dropped, but she didn't look mean, just shocked, before she moved back in the door way, pushing the front door further back to let me in. She led the way into the kitchen, and I followed her carefully, shuffling my feet, and she gestured for me to sit at the kitchen counter as she took out two glasses and a pitcher of that that powder-and-water lemonade that Embry and I had mixed last night, pouring some into each glass and setting one in front of me. I just unzipped my jacket, watching her carefully.
"I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner." Ms. Call said finally, her voice soft, and I swallowed, a little confused. "I knew that Billy's older daughters knew—Rachel and Rebecca? They were four, maybe five, when Embry and Jake were born. They weren't old enough to have vivid memories, certainly, but Rachel was so smart…" The way Ms. Call talked about Mr. Black's children as if they were her own made my mind jump back to when Mrs. Black, Jake's Mom, had died. How Ms. Call had helped Billy put his life back together, how she'd gotten the twins and Jake to school, signed them up for things—she'd helped raised the children of the woman that the father of her child left her for.
"How could you not tell Embry?" I asked softly, keeping as much accusation as possible out of my voice. "He need a dad—he wanted a dad. So, so badly." I paused. "And Jared's dad was there a lot, and Mr. Gentry's a great guy and he came through for Embry a lot—but he's not the same as Embry's real father…" I shook my head, picking up the lemonade and taking a careful sip. "I don't get how you could just let Mr. Black waltz back to his family and forget Embry…"
"Rose…" Ms. Call said, and I watched her carefully, impressed that she seemed to want to be honest with me. "Billy was never mine in the first place. He was never my husband, or even my boyfriend—I was a fling, a little bit of a rebound while he got over anything still left for Sarah, and I knew that and was fine with that—and then I was pregnant." Ms. Call sighed. "And so was Sarah. And to her credit—God bless that woman, I don't know why she didn't kill me—she was willing to accept Embry as her kids' half-sibling. She wasn't that pleased with me but she had a soft spot for children…" Ms. Call sighed. "But Embry would have been shunned his entire childhood. He would have had three legitimate siblings and then him. And I loved Sarah, she was a fairly good friend of mine by the time the boys and you started day care…" Ms. Call fixed me with a look. "But I couldn't have her raise my child."
"She wanted to take Embry from you?" I asked confusedly.
"No." Ms. Call said firmly. "Sarah didn't want to do that…But letting another maternal figure into your child's life—Rose, I couldn't fathom it. I was already reeling from the prospect of single parenthood, I couldn't let Embry grow up knowing Sarah and me as his mother—" She fell silent as what she was really saying set in on me. Ms. Call looked teary, all the sudden. "I deprived my child of three parents and gave him one and took away his siblings…" She sounded shaky and uncertain, and I felt my heart lurch. She was right. She'd been worried about being jealous of a woman who already had three children with the father of her child. So she hadn't let him into Embry's life.
That wasn't a good thing.
But she hadn't…been a bad mother. She'd been a great mother. She loved Embry, had been there at every baseball game, every school play, every parent-teacher night. Ms. Call had been there. She'd played catch with Embry and taught him to kick a soccer ball (and Derrick and me too, oddly enough) and taught him to cook Thanksgiving Dinner.
Was being a good mother enough to make up for depriving him of a father?
"I have to tell Embry." I said softly, finally, and Ms. Call sighed, reaching up to wipe some of the moisture from her eyes, and I felt a surge of sympathy for the woman who had, in conjunction with my uncle, raised me. "He's my fiancé. And my imprint, and my other half." I knew I sounded desperate and I knew I was making excuses, but I couldn't help it. "I can't just let this slide by, Ms. Call—"
"Please, you'll be my daughter-in-law, it's Teresa, now." She said with a small chuckle. "Besides, you'll be Mrs. Call, so that will get confusing." I felt a silly smile bloom on my face as I considered her words: I would be Rose Call. Well, Rose Mehta Call. I liked the way Rose Mehta sounded too much to let it go completely. "And I know." Her voice was softer now. "You should tell him, and Sarah's son, too." She shook her head, sighing a little. "I wish it hadn't taken this long, I really do. I should have told him." I didn't say anything to that.
She was right.
...
"I don't want to do this." I told Derrick unhappily on the phone as I spun around on the stool at the kitchen counter in Embry's kitchen, a few hours later: I was using his house, which by far had the least breakable kitchen. "I want to let their parents do this." I sighed. "Their parents should be doing this."
"Well yes, Rosie, but you're marrying Embry one day and then, hopefully not very soon," I frowned at Derrick's words, "you'll have tiny wolf children and those wolf children need a grandfather."
"Yeah, but…" I sighed. "We didn't have parents or grandparents to speak of. We're fine." I sighed in exasperation. "Grandparents seem superfluous." I bit my lip.
"Yeah, you really want your kids as screwed up as we are." Derrick murmured.
"My children will be, whenever I decide to have them, perfect." I said defensively, frowning a little despite the fact that Derrick couldn't see me. "And by the way—my future children have come up like ten times in the last few days. And I'm not pregnant so I'm not sure why that is—"
"You better not be pregnant." Derrick muttered angrily. "You and Embry aren't even married—"
"When d'you become conservative?" I demanded, laughing a little at how protective Derrick sounded. "And you know I'm getting my college degree from Stanford. No children right now." I sighed a little. "But wait, d'you know why my future children—far, far in the future—are coming up so often recently?" I demanded, and Derrick coughed out a mocking laugh.
"Nah, it's probably just because that's all Embry thinks about." I heard Derrick shudder a little. "It's very disturbing for your beloved twin brother." Derrick paused, then spoke carefully, testing the waters: "He wants kids with you. Like, twelve."
"He knows that's not realistic, right?" I demanded frantically, grabbing the countertop tightly. "I'm willing to get up to three and then I'm calling it quits."
"Yeah, yeah, he's not stupid." Derrick said easily.
"I heard a car pull up outfront. "Ugh, Der, I gotta go tell my boyfriend who his dad is."
"Have fun with that." Der said sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes, hanging up on him as I slid to my feet easily. How exactly this responsibility had fallen to me, I didn't understand, but it did have to happen. And unless Mr. Black sucked it up, I had to tell Jake and Embry.
"Rosie?" Embry called hopefully from the front door, and I couldn't help the silly smile that rose to my lips as I bounded forward, bouncing up to slip my arms around his neck and kissing him as my eyes slid shut as I inhaled his scent. Everytime I was with him was one less second that he could be killed by some vampire out in the forest.
"Hey baby," I breathed as I pulled back from him, and he reluctantly let me slide back into a proper standing position instead of the tippytoes I'd been on while I kissed him. I pulled my arms back, tightly crossing them against my chest, and Jake looked us, seeming vaguely irritated.
"Tell me I'm not here just to watch you two make out." Jake said displeasedly, raising an eyebrow. I fixed him with a look before I led the way into Embry's living room, feeling a little awkward as I did. Embry didn't seem to find it weird that I was leading him around his house, though, and he just sat down on the couch opposite the armchair I'd chosen, and I pulled my feet onto the chair to sit with my legs crossed while Jake flopped down on the other end of the couch. "So what's up?" Jake asked, sounding a little nicer, now.
"I know something... that you should know." I said cryptically, and Jake frowned, sitting up straighter, while Embry's face flashed to concerned. "Well..." I took a deep breath, deciding on the best way to say this. "Okay, Jake, before you were born, your parents went though a rough patch or something, they were separated--" He nodded hurriedly, his expression darkening. "And your dad dated Embry's Mom in this time." Jake seemed to guess where this was going, but Embry looked just as confused as ever. "And they, y'know, slept together, but then Mrs. Black was pregnant--" I paused, trying to let the boys jump to conclusions, but they didn't. "And then Ms. Call got pregnant and even though she and Mr. Black were going to have this baby together, she told Mr. Black to go back to his wife and his daughters, because they needed him more." I let my voice drift off, and Embry just stared at me blankly.
"Embry's my brother?" Jake demanded quietly, cutting to the chase. I nodded a little. "But they were--"
"Mr. Black." Embry said in a voice that barely suppressed his anger. "Mr. Black got my mom pregnant, abandoned her, abandoned me--"
"Your mom let him go, Em." I pointed out softly, but Embry was already up and out the back door. I didn't bother following him, and it had been only second since the door shut behind him when I heard the all time most agonized howl I'd ever heard in my entire life. I felt a surge of sorrow myself: an imprint couldn't hear her wolf howl like that without being upset. Tears jumped to my eyes as he howled again, and I swiped at my eyes as his howl faded into the distance: he'd sprinted into the woods, desperate to get the hell away from the house lest his wolf self lose control and hurt me.
"How could Dad not have told me?" Jake's voice was quiet, more philosophical than I would have guessed . "How..." He sighed as I looked back at him, his head in his hands. "How could Mom not have told me?" His voice was rough, and I wished for the first time that Jake's Renesmee was an adult, able to take care of her wolfboy. But she wasn't, and I happened to be here.
"They loved your family." I said softly to Jake. "It sucked for Embry but--you and Rebecca and Rachel got to be real people."
"We would have been real people with a half brother." Jake said quietly, and I heard the anger bubbling under the surface, saw how hurt he was when he looked up at me. I'd known Jake for years. He couldn't be this hurt and have me not know about it. "I'm only five months older than Embry, it wouldn't have been that difficult to have us--" He was suddenly almost yelling, taking his anger out on me, and I couldn't help but lash back.
"Look, what do you want me to tell you?" I asked him tiredly. "I disagree with your parents' decision but--" I sighed. "I get, at least, where they were coming from. And Embry had his mom. Who loves him so, so much. And your mom loved you all so, so much." I tilted my head to the side a little, then shook it once a little bit. "I do not understand your father, though."
"Dad loves me. When he's not busy hating Bells and missing Rebecca, Dad loves me." He said defensively, glaring, and I just looked at him for a long moment.
"He should have loved Embry." I pointed out softly. "Em deserved a dad."
"And we didn't?" Jake demanded angrily. "We barely got a mom--"
"As a kid who watched her brother and her best friend without dads, I'm telling you right now, boys need fathers." I said seriously. "I'm a girl and I needed a father."
"Yeah, but you didn't have parents. You can't call out my family for being dysfuctional." Jake muttered, and I swallowed the hurt. His family was taking a few hits and he was hitting back. Otherwise I would have snapped on him because as really anyone knew, I didn't take hits at my family well.
"Jake, I'm sorry." I said softly. The head of my brothers' and fiance's pack didn't respond, standing up as he began to shake--but he wasn't fast enough.
Jake's clothing ripped as fur burst through his skin, and I felt panic seize me in an indirect way, the way it did as Embry realized something horrible when he was being a wolf. Jake's sheer hugeness knocked over the chair I was in like a children's toy, sending me tumbling backwards into the wall, and I winced as forehead somehow connected with the edge of a side table, and then Jake's leg knocked the table so it flipped over me, and I rolled onto my side, shielding my head with my arms. I heard more furniture fall and the floor boards groan, and I screamed shortly as Jake howled his loudest, and I opened my eyes, but I dizzily considered the state of disaster that had overtaken Embry's living room--and more than that, when had I closed my eyes? I watched Jake's giant paws gallop past the chair I was currently pinned under, and he struggled out the back door of Embry's home, smashing through the sliding glass doors.
And then there was the frantic howling of wolves, more insistent than I'd ever heard before. I could identify all the boys by their howls, now--Derrick, Jake, Sam, Paul, Jared, Quil, Collin, Seth, Brady, Leah, Embry (obviously). Embry was angrier than I'd ever heard him, and the yipping that continued after that proved that he'd taken that out on Jake. But I was still under my chair.
I felt kind of dizzy and nauseous as I pushed myself up a little, schooching back on the floor so I could sit up properly, the chair now over my legs. I waited for some of the dizziness to subside before I reached up, weakly pushing at the chair on my legs--and then Derrick and Jared were standing in the remnants of the back door.
"Rosie..." Jared sounded frightened beyond belief in the one word, but Derrick just sprinted the five steps to me, pulling the chair off and chucking it clear across Embry's already-demolished living room. Jared glanced at Derrick as my brother crouched down beside me nervously, putting a hand on my back to help hold me up, and I just shrugged uncomfortably, pushing my hair out of my face, and Derrick pulled a face.
"You hit your head..." He murmured unhappily, his eyes focusing on my forehead, right above my own gaze.
"I'm--" fine, I meant to say, but somehow, all I managed to do was shove myself to feet, stumbling to the sink to vomit up my lunch, my head pounding now. I pulled my own hair back my hands quickly replaced by Jared's: he'd done this before, at our first high school party Freshman year. We'd both gotten plastered, somehow stumbled back to his house, and his parents had decided that as much fun as it would have been to punish us, the fact that we spent the next six hours puking up everything that we'd ever consumed was enough.
"You have a concussion." Jared said darkly.
"I'm still conscious, I'm fine." I told him irritatedly as I pulled back from the sink, tearing a paper towel off and swiping at my mouth.
"Concussions are serious things." Jared murmured. "You should go to a doctor."
"The only doctor I could go to is Carlisle and I'm not seeing Edward." I said shakily, bracing myself against the countertop, and Derrick moved forward to easily lift me onto the countertop, and I frowned at him, feeling like a four-year-old as he put a hand on the side of my head, inspecting the bump just above my right eyebrow. Jared moved to Embry's refrigerator, grabbing a plastic bag from a drawer along the way, and Derrick frowned at me.
"Ro, can you remember what happened? D'you think you blacked out at any point?" He asked me professionally, and I glared at him.
"I was telling Jared and Embry about Mr. Black being both their fathers, and then Jake destroyed the living room." I sighed. Derrick's expression darkened. "I didn't black out."
"Jake nearly killed you." Derrick murmured.
"He didn't mean to." I said plainly. "And there was nothing killer about it--he knocked over my chair, Derrick. He didn't go for me or anything, there's not even a scratch on me." I murmured.
"Embry's gonna kill him." Jared said quietly, exchanging looks with Derrick.
"Jake's going to kill his dad first." I murmured, looking down. "Jesus, this is a disaster." I paused. "No one wanted this for either of them. I don't get why their parents didn't tell them in the first place..." I bit my lip. "I tried telling Jake that it'd been for the best in their view, that his mom had loved him and that Embry's mom loved him and I... told him I didn't get his dad, because I don't." I said frankly, and Jared winced. "And he said a girl with no parents had no business calling his family dysfunctional." Derrick's expression darkened. "Der, it's fine." I said quietly. "He was hurting and mad and lashed out--and doesn't that sound like someone else, recently?" I asked him with a knowing look: Derrick had been really mean to me back when I'd gotten us placed with Sam instead of a foster home. Derrick glared at me, but remained silent: I was right, and he hated it.
I did too.
