Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rex rarely found himself missing the "old days," but right now he would have given pretty much anything to be able to shout at the other clones and have them snap to attention and follow his orders without question. While he was glad that his brothers had found their independence, it was nothing short of infuriating to be overruled in this fashion, especially when so much was at stake. As he gave Bren's hand another squeeze he tried to find his sense of battle-calm again, because it was looking like he'd need it.

From a purely logical standpoint, the armor idea was actually pretty clever. It wasn't fool-proof, but it sounded like something that Skywalker and Ahsoka would have come up with back in the day, and the tactical portion of his brain had already worked through the mechanics of getting Bren into a set of armor, getting her acclimated to moving around while wearing the kit. He thought that her height difference could be explained away by any number of factors – maturity being the most likely – and while she was certainly very feminine in form, she was slender enough so that the armor would not look totally out of place.

But he still didn't want her to go.

He knew that this was not a logical feeling. Rex was not stupid; he understood that his desire to keep the woman he loved from harm despite her being the perfect candidate for this mission was by no means practical. The soldier in him thought that the idea could work, with a little ingenuity and a lot of luck. The rest of him was working very hard to fight back the sheer, utter terror that she would be harmed – or worse – and it was not all because he knew that this mission would likely be dangerous.

It was because when she'd told him what they both knew, that there was too much at stake, he'd realized that he couldn't go with her.

Iri.

If he did go with Bren, if the worst happened and the team didn't come back from this mission, Irini would not have either of them, and that was a risk that Rex was unwilling to take. As much as he wanted to stay by Bren's side, he knew beyond any doubt that he would not risk making his daughter an orphan. Even though he knew that Caith, Edme and Jensine would step up to the challenge of raising her, that wasn't the point.

Right now, there was nothing more important to him than his daughter's happiness and well-being. Iri was his child, and there was no force in the galaxy that would be able to harm her while he could still draw a breath.

But still.

His eyes fell on his wife – his wife – again, and he could see the agitation in her gaze. "I don't have to like it," he said again, still quietly. "But I understand it's the only way."

Brenna's features relaxed and she nodded, though he could see that she wasn't quite convinced by his words of assent. Around them, the others were still planning, debating, discussing, but Rex felt like time had slowed. He took another breath. "But we have to think about Iri."

"She'll stay here," Brenna replied immediately, her forehead creasing.

Rex nodded. "I know. I'll stay with her." At his words, Brenna's eyes widened a bit, so he continued, forcing his voice to be calm because sometimes, if you faked it, you could even fool yourself. "She's already lost too much for such a little kid."

"Tucker." Bren said the name of Iri's biological father in a soft voice, and Rex inclined his head in agreement.

"Yes, but more recently...her mother," he added reluctantly, because she looked so stricken at his words. "Bren, you came back after what happened on Loronar, but if the worst happens...I can't risk leaving her with no one. Our daughter's well-being comes before everything else. It has to."

He watched as she considered for several moments before she touched his cheek, her eyes filled with affection. "Do you know how amazing you are?"

"You can tell me later," he said with a half-smile. "Or show me. Or both. I'm very flexible."

"Okay, I can't stand it any longer," Fives' voice broke in, causing Rex and Brenna to look back at the others, which was when Rex realized that it had gotten very quiet in the dining room. "What are you two talking about over there?"

Rex took a deep breath and sat upright in his chair, lacing his fingers together as he regarded his vode and the rest of his family. "Aside from Bren and Marliss, we need to determine who else will be going."

"I must go, though the nature of my exile means that I will have to remain in the ship," Nala Se said at once. "There is a device in my body that will detonate should I return to Kamino's surface."

"Well, I'm sure as haran going to go," Fives added with a pointed look at his wife. "Who knows what sort of trouble you'll get into without me around?" Following this, he shot a raised brow at Rex. "You too, I suppose?"

"No." At the former captain's word, Fives visibly started, and Rex realized that a part of him still quite enjoyed catching his brother off-guard, though he pushed the feeling aside immediately. "I'm going to stay with my daughter. Kix and Coric: I want one of you to accompany the others. Same goes for you, Jess and Chopper."

Chopper, who'd been sitting more or less in silence, shifted at the mention of his name. "Imps do things a bit different than the GAR used to," he said in a curt voice. "You'll need someone to show you the ropes."

"Are you volunteering?" Coric asked. A pained look crossed the scarred clone's face, but he nodded once. At this, the former medic looked up at Rex. "I'm in, too."

Rex nodded to his brother and lifted his hands, ticking off the mission participants as he spoke, as much to organize his own thoughts as to make sure they were all on the same page. "So that's Brenna, Fives, Marliss, Coric, Chopper and Nala Se. Of the six of you, only four will be going planet-side – presuming Fives can get a hold of some stormie armor."

"Four of us against the lot of them," Fives said, rubbing his hands almost gleefully. "I almost feel sorry for the long-necks. Erm," he glanced at Nala Se, who blinked at him. "No offense."

Kix's voice was thoughtful. "Only four? Should more of us go?"

"Don't want to over-complicate things," Jesse replied. "Like Umbara, remember? It was easier for a small group to sneak around than a whole platoon."

As he listened to his brothers continue to plan and debate, Rex's stomach began to do an uncomfortable series of flips because the reality of the upcoming mission was sinking in. He glanced at his wife again, wondering if he was being foolish by not wanting to leave Iri. What if Bren needed him? How in the void would he be able to protect her if he stayed behind? He'd lost her once...he didn't think he could bear it happening again.

But she was engrossed in the conversation as well, and he remembered the excitement in her eyes when she spoke of using her talents for this goal. It struck him that she needed to do this, that perhaps it was yet another way for her to recover the missing pieces of herself, and he was loathe to deny her that chance.

Brenna had to go. Rex had to stay. They was the only options he could see.

Suddenly, he was exhausted. Rex sighed; a glance at his chrono indicated that it was getting rather late, so he stood up again, causing the others to quiet down and look his way. "Fives, when do you think you can find out about that armor? Pretty much the entire mission is riding on it."

"Tomorrow," the former ARC replied. "It shouldn't be a problem. Even if Mar and I have to go all the way to Mandalore, it shouldn't take more than a day or two."

"I'll need about as much time to get my equipment ready," Brenna added, ignoring the displeased look that her brother was shooting her way. Instead, she looked at the Kaminoan. "Will you help me?"

Nala Se's head inclined towards the brown-haired woman in agreement, and Rex nodded in confirmation. "We'll spend the next few days in preparation; Fives, report to me once you've contacted your friends." At his words, the former ARC straightened and offered a sharp salute, the formality belied by his grin, so Rex couldn't resist adding: "Dismissed."

As his brothers and Nala Se began to slip out of the room, Rex glanced at his wife, who gave him a smile that he didn't feel like returning, but managed, anyway. As they got to their feet, out of the corner of his eye he saw Caith murmur something to Edme, who nodded and left the room; moments later, Bren's brother and mother stepped towards Rex and Brenna, a myriad of questions clearly forthcoming.

"You boys certainly don't do anything half-assed," Jensine said without preamble. Her arms were crossed before her chest and she was looking up at Rex with an expression that he couldn't quite gauge, which was a little troubling.

But before he could answer, Brenna spoke. "This is important, Mom."

Jensine pursed her lips. "I didn't say it wasn't. I only meant that it's the first time I've gotten to see the boys in action – quite impressive. No wonder the ranch is running so well."

"You're really not going?" Caith broke in, his eyes on the former captain. "You're really going to stay here?"

The dining room, which had been full only moments ago, was strangely quiet. There was no accusation or derision in Caith's voice, but Rex could see fear in the other man's eyes, and he didn't fault Caith for being worried for his sister's well-being. Not when so much was at stake. Rex nodded. "Brenna's right," he said slowly, glancing at her as he said the words. "Between the two of us, she's essential for this mission, and I'm not willing to leave Irini alone."

"We'd take care of her," Jensine said, her voice uncommonly soft. "Iri will always have a home, here."

"I'm her father," Rex replied, straightening his shoulders. "It's up to me to take care of her." He saw no reason for any further explanation.

Brenna spoke next, reaching an arm around Rex's waist as she did so; at her touch, his body relaxed a little bit, though he hadn't realized he'd been so tense. "Rex isn't making an easy choice, but I think it's the right one."

Caith studied Rex a long moment, then gave a slow nod, as if in approval, which sent a flare of satisfaction through the former captain.

For her part, Jensine looked at her daughter. "You're sure you can do all of that...slicing stuff?"

"I am." Brenna's reply was firm, and Rex felt her hand at his waist tighten a little bit when she continued. "Mom...I can make a difference. I can do something really good, here."

Yes, Rex knew it was good for her to do this, even though he could hardly stand the thought of her leaving Alderaan without him at her side.

About twenty minutes later, they'd said good-night to Caith and Jensine, checked in on their sleeping daughter, and returned to their bedroom. Only when they were beneath the blankets and his wife was in his arms again did Rex feel truly relaxed, and for a little while he was torn between wanting to ravish her and simply enjoying her presence beside him, the sound of her breathing a comfort in the darkness.

"I wish you were going," she said suddenly, and he felt her body turn to face him. "I know that your brothers will handle everything, but I'd still rather have you."

He felt his heart sink in his chest. "I can't leave our daughter."

"I know," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Trust me. As much as I wish you were going, I'm more comforted by the knowledge that you'll be here, with Iri, no matter what. Though," she added in a wry voice. "I have every intention of returning home."

As she spoke, her breath was soft against his face, and he reached his hand up to skim down her cheek. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness of their room he could see her a little better, especially with the moonlight that was filtering in through the curtains. "How did you manage it?"

Confusion crossed her features and he took a breath. "During the War. When I'd go off to fight and you were left behind. Kriff, you haven't even left yet, and I'm already dreading it. How did you handle that feeling and not go completely crazy with worry?"

She gave him a sad smile. "I don't remember."

Shab. He winced at his error, but she ducked her head and pressed her cheek against his chest, as if she were listening to his heartbeat. "I'll have Fives and the others watching my back," she added after a moment. "So I won't have to shoot any droids. I'm not going to be doing any fighting."

Hopefully. The word was unspoken, and Rex embraced her, holding her as close as he could. "I know that they'll keep you safe," he said with a sigh. "But I just...it's not enough for me."

There was a beat, then she spoke again. "What about Ahsoka? If she's able, do you think she'd be willing to come?"

It was like a light clicking on inside of his head, and Rex's breath caught at the idea. Ahsoka. Of course...he'd not had a chance to comm her recently, but he thought that this mission was right up her hyperlane, assuming she was free and available to help. While the Togruta could not fit into a set of armor, Rex knew her Force senses would come in handy for any stealth-portion of the mission. "You're brilliant," he said to Bren, shifting so that he could kiss her forehead. "I married a brilliant woman."

"And I married an amazing man."

"That you did," he replied in a teasing voice, inwardly delighting at the levity in her words. "Ah...I believe you were going to show me just how amazing you think I am, weren't you?"

She laughed. The sound was music to his ears because he thought she needed to laugh more, especially recently. Well, he knew a few ways to bring about such an end, so he maneuvered himself so that she was lying beneath him. Once he did, he took a moment to savor her eyes on his and the way her body seemed to glow in the moonlight. Love suffused him; he was overwhelmed with it and with gratitude because there was nothing better than this, than right now, and he realized again just how impossibly lucky he was. In so many ways.

"I'll get things started," he offered right before he leaned down to kiss her, and there was no more serious talk for some time after that.


So I kind of struggled with the idea of Rex staying behind while Bren goes off to Kamino. I realize that it runs counter to the fearless "Captain Rex" that we know and love from TCW, but my hope is that I've developed his character enough to make this decision a believable one.

I'm not a parent, but my understanding is that – if you are one – there's nothing more important than the well-being of your child. Nothing. Not even your spouse, as difficult as it may be to understand the feeling. Hopefully Rex's motives for remaining behind are clear and plausible, even if you don't entirely agree. I've worked hard to ensure that this decision is the logical one based on how he's developed in this story, so please let me know what you think! :)

No matter what, thank you for reading!

Next time: Ahsoka's return! Yay! :D