AN: Anna's confession to her family below but a little bit of a rant before that

rant/ I write as quickly as I can, but haste makes for bad writing and bad chapters. I do try to have a few chapters written in advance, mostly because life happens and my writing time might be less some weeks than others. When I first posted I had nine chapters all done and now I am down to two! For that reason I would rather stick to regular postings once a week than to post several chapters in quick succession and then have you all waiting several weeks for the next one. I have seen too many stories go that route and while I am still happy when the author posts a chapter, waiting a month or more for the next one does mess with the flow and the enjoyment of the story. /rant

FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back

Ch29 Confession

A little over an hour later both Nick's and Dan's cars were parked in front of the house and the family was seated in the small family room, Ana on the couch between Dan and Emma, Nick and Eddy in each of the armchairs at the end of the low table. One look from Eddy had convinced all of them that his belongings could wait.

Not addressing any of them in particular, Ana started the tale that will finally gap the bridge between her old life and her new one: "I was born Anastasia Rose Lambert. My father was in the military and he died in a training accident the day after I was born so I have never known him. Carla met Ray when I was about one and he adopted me when they got married so I became Anastasia Steele."

Without stopping to address the frowns on her children's faces she continued with the very short, edited version of her life, stripped of all the details that were not relevant to understanding how they had come to this point in their lives: "I grew up in Montesano, Washington, and after high school I went to study at WSU Vancouver. Kate was my roommate and the editor of the student newspaper. For the final edition of the newspaper, just before graduation, she wanted to interview a young Seattle entrepreneur who had just became a billionaire, but on the day of the interview she had the flu so she sent me instead. That's how I met Christian. We got married twelve weeks later."

Maybe one day she would get around to sharing the details of that crazy summer - at least the details she could share with her children - but for now she let the words stand for themselves, their only hint about how quickly everything had happened. She had already decided that this was not the time to describe her life, the good, the bad and the challenges of so suddenly becoming Mrs Christian Grey, but there was one aspect of Christian's life they needed to be aware of:

"Before I tell you more, there is something you all need to understand. There are people who would like nothing more than to hurt Christian anyway they can and that includes hurting the people close to him. There are even more people who would do almost anything to get a piece of him: a moment of his attention, a slice of his money, a chance to associate themselves with his name. Christian, his parents and siblings, me while I was in Seattle, you," she said looking at Eddy, "we all had security with us everywhere we went."

Uncertain that she had actually made her point she insisted: "What we are discussing today has to stay between us. The discretion is not to protect him, but to protect you."

She squeezed Emma's hand in reassurance and took a moment to look at each of the other three making sure her words had sunk in.

"There was another reason for the security: the press, the paparazzi." As always frustration grew inside of her to the point of anger when she was reminded of that particular aspect of her past life. She had to warn them about the press and how quickly things could spiral out of control, so she told them about shoe-gate:

"I was choosing an outfit for a charity dinner, but I was pregnant and none of my shoes would fit anymore. I was getting upset so Gail, our house keeper, suggested a pair she had seen in a shop in town. This was an ordinary shoe shop, not one of the designer boutiques that usually delivered my clothes. In the evening, at the gala, one of the fashion reporters recognized the shoes. The next morning, instead of the charity event and the cause it was meant to sponsor, all the social pages had to discuss was my unusual choice of foot wear, complete with pictures of the shoes. That model shoe was sold out in Seattle before lunch and by the end of the day it was sold out in the state of Washington. The police had to be called at several outlets to disperse mobs of disappointed customers; the manufacturer was contacted for the name of the designer who then was interviewed by the newspapers and the radio. He got a job offer from a fashion designer and took it. The news got out that he had left the manufacturer who then saw a dip in their sales. The social pages were debating for days about my wardrobe choice: from how clever it was of me to pair a designer dress with ordinary shoes to how tasteless the same choice was. One article commented that seeing how my husband had all that money to spend I should stick with the expensive stuff and leave the reasonably priced items to people who could not afford something else. It was now my fault that the general female population had had their choice of shoe wear limited since the best designer of such items had left his job. I was also to blame for the job losses that were certain to incur at the manufacturer."

She finally stopped for breath and shook her head: "So many years later it sounds almost funny, but at the time it was anything but that. At least this story had some truth to it, but most of the things they write are just pure fantasy. So if you say anything, to anybody, expect it to come out and to be twisted out of context and out of shape. And if you read anything, know that unless it is a direct quote it is probably not true." This time she let her eyes and her voice plead with them for their understanding and their acceptance.

They all nodded, even Eddy, but the tension was palpable in the room. Eddy's lips were tightly pressed together and his eyes were hard, demanding, impatient, the echo of another harsh stare with which she had been all too familiar. She took a deep breath and slowly released it.

Keeping her eyes on Eddy, Ana started speaking again, gentler this time: "You were a honeymoon baby. Christian and I, and the rest of the family, we were all over the moon when you were born. Christian works a lot. It was not unusual for him to have a 50-60 hours working week. But when you came into our lives he couldn't get out of the office fast enough to get home to us. He could never get enough of holding you, talking to you, playing with you."

She didn't want to overwhelm Eddy with tales of an early childhood he did not remember, so, unless he asked for more, she had chosen to share just one memory: "The day you took your first step he had a delegation coming from Europe, a deal they had been working on for almost a year and worth several hundreds of millions. I knew he would be in meetings all day, so instead of calling him to let him know, I filmed you with my phone - just a five seconds movie of you taking two steps - and sent it to him. He stormed into the house less than half an hour later."

Ignoring the tears welling in her eyes at the memory, she forced her voice to remain steady: "Ros, his second in command at GEH, told me later that evening that he had just suddenly stood up in the middle of the meeting and excused himself leaving her in charge. In two sentences he was out the door and had left GEH for the day and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to make you take a few more steps."

Eddy's face didn't give much away, his jaws were still tightly clenched, the hand of his uninjured arm gripping the end of the armrest.

"We had been married for three years when I happened to see security footage of Christian with another woman. He was supposed to go away on business that week and I had taken the week off to spend some time in Montesano with you and my father. I called Christian and send him text messages and an email and I now know that he wrote to me and his parents tried to come and talk to me in Montesano, but Christian never got any of my calls or messages and I didn't get his letters. I didn't know Grace and Carrick had come to see us."

She had hoped to keep Ray's involvement out of her tale, but three pairs of eyes were watching her with the same disbelieving look. Dan took her hand in his and gently nodded prompting her to continue: "Ray had used his connections in the police to block my calls and email and he never told me about the family trying to visit. There is probably more behind this than I know even now, but as the situation was then, after about a month of being in Montesano I filed for divorce."

She closed her eyes briefly, gathering her strength for the final part. She kept her eyes on the polished wood of the table: "I asked for you to stay with me but offered Christian unlimited visitation rights and shared custody."

Ana lifted her gaze to meet Eddy's eyes. She needed to be sure he heard this: "This was what Christian agreed to when he signed the divorce. He thought he would still be a part of your life. It was me and dad who took you away from him. Dad thought Christian would try and use his power and influence to take you away from me, so he convinced me to move away."

Acknowledging Nick and Emma with her eyes she included all of them for the last part of her confession: "He, dad, arranged for new names, new identities, for us. We became Anabelle and Edward Teal. I don't know why he chose Rock Hill, other than that it was far away from Seattle."

She wanted to tell Eddy about what Christian had done for them over the years, but Christian had warned her to not make her tale about him and Eddy's closed off expression did not give her any clues about how much he wanted to know, so she started with something he already knew: "Nick already told you this morning that Christian found us several years ago. I didn't know until this past month, but he has never stopped looking for you and once he found you, although he has not revealed himself to you, he has been watching you, keeping an eye on you, helping when he could."

"Paid for stuff."

Eddy's voice was harsh, resentful, but the look in his blue eyes, so much like hers with just a hint of Christian, was of pain and she could not let him live with that hurt any longer.

"It's not about the money, it's what he did with them. He didn't just sign a cheque. He put thought and effort into making things happen," she tried to explain.

Eddy just stared back at her, his chin down towards his chest and his shoulders squared and stiff, the picture of a defiant teenager.

'Eddy,' she hesitated remembering how she had reacted to some of Christian's over the top largesse towards her. She sighed and resigned herself to asking him: 'Do you want to know?' she asked, as gently as she could.

Eddy stared for a moment but then gave her a curt nod.

"The music school: I can't prove it and I doubt Mr and Mrs Dawson know just who is behind their move to Rock Hill, but I am certain that Christian found them and arranged for them to move here, across the street from the library, where I could to notice them."

That was something Nick, Emma and Eddy had in common and the siblings shared a look between them, but then Eddy's eyes turned back to her, waiting for more.

"The language club at school. Again I don't think they know who is behind it, but the school had received a large donation, an annual grant, with the only condition that they use some of it to offer a language club including French. After the storm," she continued," the martial arts centre was built with help from an anonymous charity but the business deal, the way it was put together so that everybody got something out of it, is just typical for Christian. And the organization, Posterus, didn't just help with that, they also helped restore the library and Cherry Park."

"And the house." Dan admitted in a quiet voice.

At Ana's questioning look he sighed: "When you told me about them, I looked into it a bit more, into what they did. They guaranteed the payments for the construction company so they could start repairing the houses without waiting for the insurers to make up their minds and release the funds. There was only one condition: that they start with this side of town, with our street."

Nick already knew most of this and his eyes were on Eddy. His brother did not look particularly impressed, not as if he was past the 'paid for stuff' comment. In all honesty he could sympathise. Money was something Grey had in abundance and Eddy was after all his son. There was one thing though that had touched him, and their mother seemed to have chosen not to share that part. Could she not see that it was what really made the point that Grey cared about them? That he had a heart not just a big wallet and an agenda? And that Eddy needed to know that more than anything else? With his mind made up he spoke, steeling himself for any disapproval from his parents, and addressing his brother directly: "He fixed Emma's leg."

"Nick" Ana started but was interrupted by Eddy: "What do you mean 'he fixed Emma's leg'?"

"Mom said the insurance wouldn't pay because it was an experimental treatment, so he paid for it and he got the surgeon to move down here from Boston. He pays for the whole research program just so Emma can have her doctor close by."

"But that's…" Eddy frowned and changed tracks from whatever he was going to say: "She's not his daughter."

"No, she isn't," Ana said in a gentle voice, but her eyes were on Emma this time as this was also concerning her. Something about Christian the previous evening was nagging at her but she couldn't put her finger on it until Emma wondered: "Why would he care about me?"

It was when Christian had corrected Dan, when he had been so angry about the lie she had told Eddy and Dan had called him 'Mr Grey': 'Christian' he had said, rejecting the formality and the distance the title put between them. They were family. Christian saw them all as family.

The tears in her eyes were mirroring the ones in Emma's.

"I think he sees you as family," she voiced her thought.

Dan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlaced: "Eddy, because you only found out all of this now and it's so different from everything you had been told, this is quite a change in your life. But the truth is that we are not the only family with a child from a previous marriage. It was, in a way, easier when we didn't know about all of this. But now that you know, that we all know, that Christian Grey is your father… what happens next is up to you. Neither of us will force a relationship on you."

"But you are my dad."

A smile pulled Dan's lips and crinkled his eyes: "Yes, Eddy, I am. That will never change. But you have been wondering about your past, about your biological father. Maybe I should have talked to you about it before today although I don't know if it would have made much difference, not with what I knew up to this past month. But I now know that the thought that he abandoned you has been weighing on you and I think it is important for you to know that it wasn't true and that he cares about you."

"And you are OK with that?" Eddy asked.

"That you have somebody else who loves you and cares about you and that you won't have to carry that hurt around? Yes, I am." Dan gave his son the reassurance he obviously needed.

"And all this stuff, all mom said he did?"

Dan sighed: "I won't pretend some of it has not been a little overwhelming, made me start looking over my shoulder a few times, but he did help us out of a few difficulties and I can't not feel some gratitude for what he did."

Dan was frowning by the end of his sentence. If his thoughts about Eddy's biological father were so mixed he could barely express them, he could only wonder how confused Eddy must be about all this information.

"He doesn't expect that," Ana said in a small voice, her throat tight with the emotions evoked by Dan's words to Eddy.

Her words had drawn everybody's attention back to her, but she spoke mostly for Eddy's benefit: "He asked that this should be about you, on your terms, not about any of us."

It was now early afternoon and they moved on to the kitchen for a late lunch consisting of sandwiches and tea or coffee. The few minutes it took were mostly silent with everyone's minds busy processing all the new information and they soon dispersed around the house to take care of more mundane tasks as getting Eddy's belongings to his room, unpacking and catching up with the accumulated post.

Peace was however not to be found in the Parson household for many days yet and that afternoon and the rest of the weekend were liberally sprinkled with awkward moments and unexpected revelations. Some were a bit naïve, like Emma's realization that Aunt Kate was actually Eddy's aunt 'for real'. Some were more unsettling, like Eddy and Nick figuring out Ana was now residing in the guest room and no longer sharing the downstairs bedroom with Dan. By unspoken agreement some were still kept from Eddy, like Dan's quick check of the other cars revealing that while Ana's had always had a side airbag, his and Nick's had also been modified. 'I can't be sure without scratching the paint but the driver side doors feel heavier too' Dan had told Ana. Eddy had not said much beyond thanking Dan and Nick for helping with his belongings and then declining help with unpacking. He had only frowned at noticing his mother enter the guest room and then remained in his own room for the rest of the afternoon.

Over dinner he kept his head down and his eyes on his food while the others were making an effort to maintain at least the appearance of some conversation. If more proof was needed that his mind was really not in the kitchen with the rest of them his question interrupting Ana and Emma's discussion about Emma's birthday plans provided that:

"And if I want to meet him?"

He remained seated looking down during the few seconds of silence that followed.

"Oh, Eddy, he would like nothing more than to meet you," Ana managed.

He finally raised his head, his face still blank and his gaze far away, not really settling on his surroundings.

"Do you want to meet him?" Ana asked.

"I don't know."

Eddy lowered his eyes again then stood and took his plate to the dishwasher.

"I think I'm going to go to bed. Thanks for dinner."

Both Nick and Dan stopped Ana from going after her son.

"I'll go upstairs, keep him company," Nick said, then shaking his head: "If he'll let me. I think he needs a break, maybe watch some sports or play some computer game or something. We'll see you guys in the morning."

Emma left with Nick and Dan and Ana were left behind on tidy up duties, but when Ana opened and then closed the same drawer for a second time for no apparent reason, Dan covered her hand with his and stopped her from moving away: "Let's sit down, the rest can wait."

"Thank you, for what you said to Eddy, about being OK with him having someone else to love him in his life."

"I meant that," Dan said, with sincerity and warmth in his voice, "but now we have to give him some time. We have had a month and I am still not sure what to make about a lot of this."

Ana didn't respond to his veiled request for more details, more information, and she had the same far away and haunted look on her face as their son had had through dinner.

"I also meant the other thing I said. We are not the only couple with an ex-spouse or a biological parent still in the picture," Dan hesitated wondering if he should tempt fate or let sleeping dogs lie, but the uncertainty was getting to him and he already had enough on his plate so he chose to voice his suspicions: "This is not just about Eddy, is it?"

Once again Ana remained quiet but she was now watching him instead of looking into space, so he explained a little: "You seemed to fit well into that world: the security, the people driving you around, the special attention. You didn't seem surprised about any of it."

"Habit, maybe, but I don't know that I ever quite fit into that world."

"Do you fit into this one?"

There, he had said it, the question that had been nagging at him since graduation.

"I don't know," she answered looking as frightened as he felt.

"I said I can give you time to think things over, and I am not going back on that, but something tells me there isn't much to think over, is it? If it were just you, if you didn't have anybody else to think of…He is single."

She shook her head: "Christian is very private. He can be very…discreet about his relationships." Then Ana's voice lost some of the dream-like quality it had held and became more assured, her gaze also became more direct: "When you and I met, I was trying to get away, move on, build a new life. I didn't just run away from Christian, I ran away from me in a way. I became this new person. But now, with all the past suddenly so real and… immediate, it feels like I have to make that choice all over again."

They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds and then Dan acknowledged: "Somehow I had already figured that out."

AN Next chapter: What Teddy makes of all of this.