29. Idiots and ninja

"I don't think I've ever seen a Pokémon move so quickly," Flo said, almost going cross-eyed as she watched Houndour skidding around the campsite. Nila's new Pokémon was making her dizzy.

"Hee hee," Rina said in reply as she span around in circles. The air felt moist and she was hoping that it would start to rain.

Flo forced herself to look away – Rina's spinning was making her dizziness worse – but then her eyes fell back on Houndour again. Growlithe and Sandslash were following the newest addition to their group but neither were quick enough to catch the speedy Pokémon until, suddenly, Houndour stumbled upon a twig, lost control of its legs, and flipped over, ending up head over heels. It gave a low whine and Nila rolled her eyes at its clumsiness. Chikorita gave it a haughty, superior look before turning its head away. Nila's Eevee calmly surveyed the action while Kaida's Eevee looked a little more interested, its little head bobbing to follow the other Pokémon.

"Dinner's done," Kaida said, beckoning them to the fire.

Flo approached the plate of what used to be food. She didn't think it was possible for food to be burnt and raw at the same time but, apparently, it was. She poked her plate with her fork and decided she wasn't hungry.

"Huh," Rina said, cocking her head at her plate as if it contained the answers to the many mysteries of life.

"You let Nila help, didn't you?" Flo accused.

"I helped her hold them over the fire," Nila said.

Flo decided to dump her food in the bushes. It looked like she was back to eating power bars. She missed John and his amazing cooking. They'd been surviving on sandwiches and crisps and she just wanted a nice hot meal!

Rina tried to eat some of the food but ended up gagging. She dashed off to a bush but they could still all hear her and that, along with the monstrosity of a meal, put them all off eating anything else.

"I'm gonna go to sleep," Flo said miserably, hugging her Togepi tightly.

She pulled out her sleeping bag and was about to go into the tent when she spotted her can of deodorant. It had almost run out so, when Rina came back to their camp, she offered it to the girl along with a bottle of water. Smelling like sick couldn't be fun and she had a feeling that she would be positioned next to Rina that night, which would mean she would have to put up with it.

Rina sprayed the deodorant but very little came out. She frowned and washed out her mouth. She looked down at the can. It was pretty empty and couldn't be used anymore and, with no bins, it should be destroyed. She chucked it aside.

"Rina!" Nila roared.

Whoosh.

The can had landed in the fire and the flames shot up. Nila tackled a startled Rina to the ground and Kaida and Flo both threw themselves down, protectively, over their Pokémon. When they opened their eyes again they saw fire had scattered around their camp and, worst of all, the tent was on fire.

"Ow," Rina said to Nila. "Why'd you do that?"

Nila purposely elbowed Rina in the stomach before getting up. She coupled this with a nasty glare and, "Idiot!" Then she turned back to the tent. "Water Pokémon, anyone? Flo!"

Flo, who had been staring, mouth wide open, at the tent, finally snapped into action. She called over Wooper, who came skipping, and ordered it to perform Water Gun. While Wooper performed this action, Kaida and Nila were stamping out the rest of the fire.

"You complete–" Kaida seemed to run out of words because she was so angry. She flapped her arms furiously and her face screwed up in rage. "GAH!" she yelled finally.

Rina only looked back with wide, confused eyes.

"How did you learn human speech?" Nila wondered.

"Exactly!" Kaida fumed. "Look at that tent! Where are we going to sleep?! You haven't got two brain cells to rub together, have you?!"

Rina was still looking startled by the outburst, uncomprehending.

"I could kill you!" Kaida shouted.

Flo saw a barbeque prong lying within an arms length of Kaida and she discreetly moved it away. No need to tempt her…

"Sorry?" Rina said quietly.

Kaida flapped her arms and spluttered a few other expletives.

Nila frowned. "Hang on. Where's Houndour?"

They all looked around but the Pokémon was nowhere to be seen. Nila's Eevee got up and nudged her leg. Nila looked down and the Eevee gestured its head to a thick patch of bushes, which, under closer inspection, appeared to have been very recently trampled through. Houndour had been spooked by the explosion then. Nila glared at Rina.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically.

"You're welcome?" Rina replied, confused.

Nila gave her another glare. Then she said, "You two stay here. Try and patch up that tent or something. And, by that, I mean you, Flo. Don't let her near it."

"I can sew!" Rina protested.

But the thought of Rina with sharp pointy objects made Flo smack a hand over Rina's mouth and nod obediently just before Kaida and Nila disappeared in pursuit of Houndour. Nila ordered Mareep to stay behind – declaring someone needed to look after the pair of idiots – and Kaida told Gastly to do the same.

"Nice move," Nila said as soon as they were out of earshot.

Kaida sniggered. Yep. Nila had caught onto her train of thought. Gastly was going to do a lot more harm than good… They deserved it though.

"Just when I think Rina can't get any stupider," Nila muttered, "she goes and chucks an aerosol in the fire."

Kaida nodded in agreement, at the same time pushing prickly branches from her face. She was having an easier time than Nila though; she had to admit that sometimes it was easier to be small. Nila was stooped like an old woman to avoid taller foliage.

"Nature," Nila said with a scowl, attempting to ward off several brambles.

The Pokémon were having an easier time than both of them. They were able to move through the undergrowth that many other small creatures had broken through before.

"I swear the only thing that could catch up to Houndour is Pineco," Kaida said. "Where's John when we need him? He has some experience in catching stray Pokémon…"

"Some?" Nila repeated. "He could practically write a book… Ow!" She sucked a scratched and bleeding finger and narrowed her eyes at the offending plant. "We could also do with Houndour to barbeque these bushes."

Cyndaquil, who had been forced to walk on the ground due to the perilous position of Kaida's shoulder, seemed to take this as a hint and it fired up its back. Luckily Kaida stopped the Pokémon just in time.

"No, no," she said, reaching towards Cyndaquil as it extinguished its flame. She scooped it up and gave it a cuddle for trying to be helpful. "Humans and being set alight do not go well." As she said this she ducked a branch and almost tripped over Growlithe. She yelped. "How far do you think Houndour has gone?" she asked, fervently hoping it had got bored and stopped.

This wasn't very likely. Houndour could run around happily for hours.

After several more minutes of traipsing through the woods they heard a familiar sound and, when they paused and listened more carefully, they realised that it was Houndour. Moving forwards as quickly as they could, trying to avoid the worst of the undergrowth, they burst forward into a small clearing and were greeted by the sight of a pit in the ground. Houndour was at the bottom, crying out piteously. Nila rolled her eyes.

"Clumsiness again?" she said, pulling out Houndour's Pokéball.

She returned it to its ball with a flash of red light. Almost instantly after she had done this, Growlithe backed up – or perhaps it was Sandslash stepping forwards – and something was triggered that meant a giant net scooped them all up. They all flailed widely but Nila had some sense and ordered Sandslash to use Slash. A flash of its sharp claws later and they fell a fair distance from the gaping net and tumbled out on the floor.

"Ow!" Kaida complained, rubbing her back. "Everyone OK?"

Nila checked on her own Pokémon and, thankfully, everyone seemed to be all right.

"Why are all of these traps here?" Kaida wondered. "If it is some pesky bug catcher again…" She was remembering the boy dressed like a bush in Ilex Forest.

"Who's out there?" Nila demanded, scanning the area and seeing nothing.

Then, seemingly materialising out of nowhere, appeared a severe looking man with large eyebrows and spiked hair. He was wearing a black ninja outfit and a strange short cape.

"Who are you?" Kaida demanded. "Did you set up these traps?" She scowled. "They could really hurt someone!"

"Fwahaha," the man replied. "Be thankful they were only done in a short time when I spotted that Houndour coming."

He had managed to dig a pit that quickly? That didn't seem right… Perhaps he had a Pokémon that could do the work for him, Kaida thought. Otherwise he would have to have some form of super strength to work that quickly.

"Well it didn't take a lot of work for Sandslash to get out of that," Nila said scornfully.

The man moved in a flash and they found themselves facing a new net, which had encircled them all, and this time the net was metal. Sandslash's claws made almost no impact at all when they tried to get free.

"We could dig our way out," Nila said, unimpressed, gesturing to the solid ground beneath their feet.

"Which is why you should be glad I didn't use this for the tree," the man said.

Nila shrugged. The man's eyebrow twitched at her flippancy. Kaida found herself thinking this man was a bit of a creep. What grown adult hung around woods and tried to scoop up children in nets?!

"Don't mind him," another voice said. "He's been secluded from people for a while and likes to show off."

They spun around again to see an elderly woman emerging from the forest. She had a walking stick and was wearing a pink dress with a white collar and apron but she still didn't look like a woman to be messed with. Not, of course, that Nila and Kaida ever underestimated old people with walking sticks. One thought back to Kaida's grandmother – Margaret – would quickly end that. Like the man, she looked severe with sharp eyebrows and narrowed eyes.

"I am Agatha," she told them.

Kaida's eyes bugged. "Agatha as in…?"

She had known the woman looked familiar!

"Elite four," Nila said, finishing the thought.

She was the ghost type member of the Elite Four of Johto and Kanto. Here. In person. They both stared.

"This is Koga," she said, pointing to the man behind them.

"The gym leader?" Kaida said, looking at the man with a new perspective. Yeah, he was a creep, but he was also a formidable Pokémon trainer!

"Soon to be member of the Elite Four," he told them.

Agatha cackled. "Yes, I'm sad to say Koga has defeated me. I will retire now but, first, I wish to teach him a few more secrets of the trade. We do share an affinity for poison type Pokémon, after all."

"I have a poison type Pokémon," Kaida blurted, unable to stop herself in a moment of fan girl weakness. Two members of the Elite Four – whether present or not – were in her presence! She could hardly be blamed. She flushed when they both looked at her. "Uh, it's a Gastly."

"And you are a Pokémon trainer?" Agatha said, a little scornfully. "Looking to enter the Silver Cup, I presume, and then go onto challenge the Elite Four?"

Kaida nodded enthusiastically. "I want to be a gym leader one day!"

Agatha looked her up and down. "You look a bit puny for that!"

"Puny?!" Kaida exploded. "I'm not puny!"

Nila snickered. That was a joke – and a reaction – that would never get old.

Kaida waved her fists and Agatha looked amused. "Well, at least you have some spirit," she conceded. "Still, you might want to toughen up."

The walking stick whipped out but, with long years of practice, Kaida and Nila deftly avoided it. Agatha cackled again.

"Size isn't everything," Koga said. "You should know that too. There are subtler things than sheer force."

Kaida turned to thank him but he was running his fingers across his chin like a cliché evil villain, which was quite freaky, so she shut her mouth.

"Where is this Gastly?" Agatha demanded. "I'd be interested to see it. I'm sure I can tell from that whether you have a potential as a Pokémon trainer."

"Back at the campsite," Kaida said, gesturing in the direction they had come from. "Helping our hopeless friends."

Agatha and Koga followed them back towards the camp and Kaida prayed that Gastly would be on its best behaviour, which she had to admit was highly unlikely. She had left it there hoping it would cause trouble for Rina and Flo so there was probably chaos. Sure enough, when they returned, the campsite was even more of a wreck. Flo and Rina were having a fight, their hands slapping each other at furious speeds, and Gastly was above them, cackling. Mareep was sparking threateningly but was ignored. There was the gaping, scorched hole in the tent, several patches of grass were burnt, and clothes and bags were strewn everywhere.

"And that's my Gastly," Kaida said lamely.

Gastly zoomed over.

"Interesting," Agatha said with an inscrutable expression. She cleared her throat. "What moves does this Gastly know?"

"Ugh, Curse, Confuse Ray, Shadow Punch, and Lick," Kaida replied.

Gastly had stopped dead in front of Agatha as she examined it but, as she continued to peer at it, it grew bored and vanished, appearing behind her, waggling its tongue.

"I know too much about ghost Pokémon to fall for that," Agatha said, withdrawing a pair of glasses from her pocket and perching them on her nose. "These have tiny mirrors in. I can see all around me. It's useful when training the ghost type because their stealth is their greatest strength."

Koga was no longer beside Agatha, Kaida realised suddenly, and she and Nila spun around to see Koga had moved, quickly and silently, to observe Rina and Flo, who were still squabbling obliviously.

"I can sew!" Rina insisted.

"Not in this lifetime!" Flo insisted.

They were actually fighting over thread, but this had been discarded on the floor as they slapped pathetically at each other.

"Ow!" Flo cried. "My wrist."

"Let go then!" Rina insisted, clinging on madly. "I can do it!"

"I have let go!" Flo wailed.

Rina released her suddenly and Flo stumbled backwards, clutching her wrist. This was when they noticed Koga and each jumped about a foot in the air in shock.

At the same time Agatha was now discussing attack moves with Kaida.

"A fire trainer," she said, again sounding scornful. "So you'll be like Blaine then. Always thinking on the direct offensive with high attack."

"Fire Pokémon are good at attack," Kaida said defensively, narrowing her green eyes.

"Yes," Agatha said, "but that's not appropriate for a Gastly."

"Of course not." She had long ago learnt that Gastly was best at hiding and stealth, using its signature Curse attack. She had even used it to win gym battles! "I know how to use Gastly."

Agatha raised her eyebrows sceptically. She looked to Nila.

"What about you?"

"Bit of everything," Nila said noncommittally.

"She likes the dark type," Kaida told the old woman.

"Well there is something to the dark type," Agatha said. "Their trainers normally know that rushing in recklessly with high power attacks isn't all there is to battling."

Kaida started to fume again. Her hands scrunched into fists and her cheeks went red.

"She's like Blaine," Koga commented, suddenly by their sides again.

Agatha nodded. Then, abruptly, she said, "We must leave. There's more work to do."

Koga inclined his head at her respectfully. Then he looked to Kaida and Nila. "As long as you think upon this carefully, that direct attack is not the only option, then you can go far. Think on stealth."

"Stealth isn't the only option either," Nila told him. "You can be quick but if you have no defence then a high attack can finish you off."

"Exactly!" Kaida said, waving her fists around a bit and accidentally catching Nila's side. Her friend glared at her. "You can mix and match. Whatever works for your Pokémon!"

Koga's lips quirked and he lowered into a small bow to both of them. Then he was gone again, with Agatha quickly following.

"Well, the Elite Four might be powerful trainers but they're very patronising," Kaida said, huffing.

They turned back to Flo and Rina, who were now scrabbling on the floor to get to the thread. Flo had Rina in a weak headlock and Rina appeared to be gnawing on her arm.

"Then again," Nila added, "with all the idiots out there, you can't really blame them."

-

A day later, after patching up the tent the best that they could the previous night, Kaida and Nila went off to train their Pokémon as Rina and Flo slowly munched through their lunch. They had been training by the camp but Rina's interference – she was trying to pet Growlithe – had made them move a little way away. Flo and Rina stayed put and Flo polished her Friend Ball that she had received from Kurt in Azalea Town.

"Where's Grimer?" Rina asked suddenly.

Flo looked shifty.

"I haven't seen it for a while," Rina continued. "Grimer should come out. You could give it a polish or a brush."

Flo raised her eyebrows. Was Rina really stupid enough to think that it was possible to brush a Grimer?! The brush would come away covered in slime!

"Don't you like my birthday present?" Rina asked, when Flo made no indication of movement.

Flo gave a longsuffering sigh and found Grimer's Pokéball. She released the Pokémon next to Weepinbell. Grimer immediately looked around and opened its arms for Rina, blobbing forwards for a hug. Flo yanked Rina out of the way. She did not want to have to wash Rina's clothes again. No doubt Nila would explode at the sight of Rina covered in slime too.

"Food, Grimer," Flo said, hoping to distract the overly-friendly Pokémon.

It seemed to work and Grimer happily devoured its bowl of Pokéchow. While Flo was distracted, Rina scooped up the Friend Ball.

"Hee hee," she said, juggling the ball from hand to hand.

"Hey," Flo said, patting the pockets of her body warmer jacket and realising the ball wasn't there. "Give that back!"

But Rina stepped back several paces, still juggling away.

"Rina!"

There was a rustling and Rina and Flo turned to see a large Pokémon stepping out of a bush. It shook its antlered head and its hooves pawed the ground. Flo pulled Kaida's Pokédex from her bag to identify the Pokémon, which turned out to be a Stantler. It watched them warily as the mechanical voice of the Pokédex filled the air.

"Those who stare at its antlers will gradually lose control of their senses and be unable to stand."

Flo glanced over at Rina who, sure enough, was staring avidly. Her knees buckled suddenly and Flo caught her and lowered her to the floor. She glanced up at Stantler, who was still staring back. Flo pulled Rina's face in the opposite direction and frowned. She didn't think people could lose their senses that quickly. It had to just be Rina. Flo had been looking at them for almost as long and she was perfectly fine.

"I want to catch it," she announced, looking around for the Friend Ball. Stantler was a rare Pokémon, and it was cute enough, so she was definitely interested. "Rina? Where's the ball?"

"Grime?" Grimer said from where it had slide up beside them. Then it burped.

"Oops." Rina giggled. Her eyes were unfocused and, when Flo let her go, she sprawled out on the ground. "Grimer went munch munch."

Flo looked at Grimer in horror. No. That had been a special Pokéball! She looked back up to the Stantler and, because of the time she had wasted, the Pokémon was gone. She cursed. Stupid Rina and her ridiculously low tolerance to the distortion field of antlers… Now Grimer had the Friend Ball!

"Come on," she said, slapping Rina's face. "Snap out of it!"

Rina giggled some more. It was like she was on drugs. Flo huffed. She'd have to get the Pokéball herself then. She just hadn't figured out how… She certainly wasn't sticking her hand down Grimer's throat… Or up the other end either.

"Come on, Grimer," she pleased. "I'll give you a hug… Just spit it out!"

"Grime!" Grimer said happily, moving forwards with its gloopy arms spread wide.

"After I get the Pokéball!" Flo said quickly, scrambling away. She wasn't getting covered in sludge for nothing!

"You could try and hug it out," Rina said, finally sitting up.

"What?" Flo said, bewildered.

Rina mimed going behind someone and grabbing them, like you would when someone was choking. Flo didn't think that worked if Grimer had already swallowed.

"Well," she said weakly. "Why don't you try it?"

"OK," Rina said brightly, crawling over to Grimer and hugging it from behind. Nothing happened. Grimer just relaxed back happily, overjoyed at receiving a hug.

Flo frowned. "I don't think it is working."

Rina squeezed harder but, since Grimer was essentially a pile of sludge, this didn't seem to faze it. It just looked happier and happier, a wide grin splitting apart its face.

"Still not working."

"Well, I don't know," Rina said, releasing the ecstatic Grimer. "You try."

She was going to have to, Flo realised. She carefully removed her arm warmers – there was no sense in getting her prize item of clothing dirty – and her body warmer. Her t-shirt was expendable. It wasn't a miracle worker like those arm warmers. Gingerly she moved behind Grimer and encircled her arms around it. Grimer squealed happily. This was its second hug of the day, the hour, even the minute! It was in bliss! Flo squeezed suddenly and sharply but nothing happened. Grimer manoeuvred around and did the same to her. Perhaps this was some weird human sign of love? Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze…

"Help!" Flo choked. Her face was bright red.

A flash went off.

"That's so cute!" Rina squealed, looking at the result on the camera. She brought the camera back up again to take another picture. "Ah, flushed cheeks from the happy bond between Pokémon and trainer!"

"Gack!" was all Flo managed.

"What is going on here?" Kaida's voice rang out. She had returned with Nila. "Actually, I don't want to know…"

At the sight of Nila, Grimer released Flo (who collapsed, gasping and desperate for air) and started towards Nila with a huge smile on its purple face.

"No, no, no!" Nila said, running backwards. "Mareep! Thundershock!"

Mareep stepped forwards and jolted Grimer, who slid to the floor, successfully halted.

"It ate my Pokéball!" Flo wailed as soon as she had recovered enough breath. "My Friend Ball from Kurt!"

Flo looked back to Grimer, who was still on the ground, thoroughly shocked by Mareep's attack. She had missed her shot at Stantler, she had lost her special Pokéball, and she was now covered in grime. It had been an awful day!

"Um," Kaida said. "No it hasn't."

She pointed to Weepinbell, who was looking churlish. It opened its mouth to reveal the Friend Ball.

"Weepinbell! Grimer!" Flo's mouth dropped open. "RINA! You said Grimer ate it!"

"I did?" Rina said, confused. She tried to think back. The antlers had been so pretty…

"Aaah!" Flo shrieked. "Weepinbell, give it back."

Weepinbell spat the ball on the ground sulkily and then turned away. Flo scooped up the ball and looked after Weepinbell, wondering what had inspired this fit of anger.

"You know," Kaida suggested, "you could try to be a bit nicer to Weepinbell. It did only evolve to help you!"

"But…" Flo muttered. "It looks funny."

Kaida bit back the urge to demand how in the world Weepinbell looked funny if Bellsprout didn't. She kept this back and instead, slowly, said, "Well, you aren't very nice and you might have hurt its feelings." In her head, she thought, you imbecile.

Flo had to admit that might be an element of truth to this, but it wasn't her fault that her hopes for the Bellsprout Dance Off had been crushed! Perhaps she had taken it out on Weepinbell a little but she could hardly be blamed. With a sigh, she followed the moping Pokémon. Perhaps an apology would help.

"Look, Weepinbell," she said, extremely uncomfortable. "You were my first Pokémon and my first friend…"

Nila mimed gagging in the background. Kaida glared at her to silence her. If Flo made up with Weepinbell then perhaps she would stop whining at Kaida for her role in its evolution. It was a long shot but Kaida was willing to give it a chance.

As Flo continued to speak, Weepinbell perked up a little, and finally Flo finished their chat with a hug to the Pokémon. Yes, it was goofy looking, she thought, but it had helped her out a bit. She had sort of got used to its oddball appearance, even if it had been a million times cuter as a Bellsprout.

"I still need a Bellsprout though," she commented, minutes later.

Kaida groaned. Mission not accomplished then.