[Apologies, yet again, for the delay. I'll be faster with the next chapter, I promise. The story will soon be at an end, though I'm not sure exactly how many more chapters at this point.]
"I swear, if this child grows up thinking her name is Bert, I'm gonna divorce you," Abbie's words were harsh, but her tone was gentle. She cradled the whimpering baby in her arms, whispering softly to her.
"We need to get married first," Caryn reminded her gently, as she breastfed their other daughter. "Isn't that right, baby girl?" she smiled when, sated, baby Madeleine slipped off the breast and was instantly asleep. "Oh no you don't," she gently moved the child to her shoulder to burp her. "That's why your sister has a sore tummy," she looked over, a little anxiously at the child in Abbie's arms. "That's it, that's good," she rubbed her back to get her wind up.
"We're okay now," Abbie said softly, "all better now, huh, Laurel?" She sat on the couch next to Caryn and smiled. "Was it this hard with Daniel?" she asked, tiredly.
"It was a nightmare," Caryn reminded her, smiling affectionately at the memories of their four-year-old son as a tiny baby. "And you had such sore boobs. And I'm not going to mention how crabby you were."
Abbie fixed her with a glare. "You just did mention it. For. The. Last. Time."
Caryn grinned. She watched her fiancée handling the baby with such expertise and gentleness, it made her want to cry. "She asleep?" she asked quietly.
Abbie nodded.
"Maddie too," Caryn smiled. "Let's put them down for a while. I wanna make out with Mommy for a little bit, and I'm guessing our son and heir will be back within the hour," she kissed Abbie very softly. "It'll be nice just to have a little alone time, huh?"
"I'll put them down," Abbie said. "You just stay there and look beautiful, that's all I need from you."
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"Liv?" Alex called cautiously, as she opened the door to the apartment. She had just dropped Lily and Maisie off with her sister, and she knew Olivia would be pissed. Her wife was in the mood from hell, hating being on maternity leave but finding herself too tired to really enjoy being with their daughters. For months, Olivia had anticipated her maternity leave with a warm glow, imagining all the things that she would do with Lily and Maisie, but the reality for her had been a sore back, constant indigestion, a short temper and unbelievable tiredness.
Alex sympathized with Olivia, knowing that the pregnancy had been hard on her. They were both so excited to soon be welcoming a new member of the family, but the last few weeks seemed to be dragging on for ever, exhausting Olivia. Alex hated to see Olivia so down much of the time, and was doing what she could to help. She never knew, though, when her actions would make it worse. Olivia was trying so hard not to snap at the girls that she often took her frustrations out on Alex instead. Alex didn't mind that in the least, aware of what was going on, but then remorse would overwhelm Olivia and she would feel worse than ever.
There was no sound as Alex stepped into the hallway, and then she saw Olivia and her heart melted. Olivia had snuggled on the couch, with Wiggle the dog cuddled in to her, and they were both soundly asleep. Olivia was too pale but, for once, she looked relaxed and that made Alex happy.
Alex tried to tiptoe past the sleeping pair when she heard a sleepy voice.
"What? I don't get a kiss?" Olivia mumbled, without opening her eyes.
Alex knelt by her head and brushed her lips lovingly over Olivia's. "You should be careful who you invite to kiss you," she laughed softly. "I could have been anyone. I could have been the super."
Olivia's mouth quirked in a smile. Her eyes remained shut as one hand sneaked out and cupped Alex's breast. "Nah," she teased. "He has bigger man boobs."
Alex slapped her hand away, laughing as Olivia eased herself onto her back and opened her eyes. "Where are the girls?" Olivia asked.
Alex grimaced. She didn't want Olivia to be pissed, but she really wanted her to relax a little. "I... I just thought..."
Olivia smiled. "You took them to Carolyn. Thank you, baby. I'm so sorry, Alexandra. I know I'm real difficult to live with right now. Help me up," she pushed the still slumbering dog to one side and held out her hands.
Alex pulled her carefully to her feet. Olivia kept hold of Alex's hands and pulled her to her. She kissed her deeply. "I know how lucky I am," she said, softly.
"So do I," Alex said. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world."
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"Is it going to snow, Mama Jay?" Tommy had his nose pressed against the window in their apartment, his face full of wonder.
"That's what they say," Jay told him. "Tell you what, when Mommy gets back from the store, let's put on our warmest clothes and head to the park. There," she said, excitedly, pointing as a fat flake of snow drifted past the glass. "It's started. Maybe we can all make a snowman?"
"I wanna go NOW!" Tommy declared.
"I know, champ, but Mommy's not back yet, and we want her to come too, don't we? We don't want her to miss out on the fun. You go into your bedroom, find a warm sweater and get your gloves and your hat, and I'm betting by the time you're ready to go out, Mommy will be home, or very nearly."
Tommy scampered off excitedly.
When Sarah got back to the apartment less than 15 minutes later, she was greeted by the sight of her wife and their son, sitting impatiently on the couch, dressed like Eskimos, their faces almost completely obscured by hats and scarves. She laughed loudly, setting down the grocery bags. "We have plans for the afternoon, huh?" she guessed, shaking the snow from her shoulders.
"Just an hour," Jay said in a persuasive tone.
"I should really get this lasagne started," Sarah protested, but then she saw the look of disappointment on Tommy's face. "One hour," she said firmly. "And then you," she pointed at Tommy, "you should take a bath while your Mama and I cook." She laughed at Jay's expression, and leant forward to kiss her deeply. "I know you don't cook, my darling, but if you insist on us going out, you can chop for me. Deal?"
Jay grinned.
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"You sure you won't change your mind?" Wheels shrugged on her leather jacket and reached for her wallet and keys. "Your new art teacher might be real nice."
Casey didn't reply, her gaze fixed on some indeterminate point in the middle distance. She hadn't heard a word that her friend had said.
Wheels approached her, and put her hand on her arm. She knew that Casey still struggled from time to time, and that her demons sometimes surfaced with no warning. "I'm going to class," she said softly, as if she hadn't spoken before.
Casey started slightly, and shook herself. "Is it that time?" she peered at her watch.
"You just relax here," Wheels said gently. "I'll get you some tea before I go."
Casey forced her mind back to the present; she tried to block out the image of Charlie's face as he had pushed her against the wall that last time. Her stomach roiled. "No," her voice was weaker than she had expected. "No," she said, more firmly. She smiled at her octogenarian friend. "I'm fine, Wheels. I'm sorry. I was just..."
"You don't ever have to apologize," Wheels said quietly. "Stay there, I'll get you..."
"No," Casey got to her feet. "You don't have to do that. Anyway," she forced herself to smile. That was the way to do it, wasn't it? Make your face smile, and you might even start to kid yourself. Right now, all she wanted was to curl up in a warm bed, alone, and not move for a week. But she knew, instinctively, that that was not what she needed. She needed to get her life back. Returning to work had been a major step, but, for the first time in her life, a day at work would wipe her out completely, and she found herself exhausted – and over-emotional – all weekend. "I'm coming with you," she smiled. "I wanna give the new guy a try."
Casey's art classes took place in the same building, and at the same time, as Wheels' motorcycle maintenance classes. She had been thoroughly enjoying them, but the news that the tutor had left had shaken her more than she had expected. She liked him, and she was worried that she might not take to his replacement in the same way.
Wheels smiled at her. Apart from her late wife, May, she had never come across somebody as courageous as Casey. The young woman had been sharing an apartment with her for months, and she felt like a daughter to her. "Good for you, kid," Wheels said, trying to keep the emotion out of her own voice.
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"We've got to let her," Rosie said reasonably to her wife Melinda. Melinda was the chief medical examiner, and her opinion was respected state-wide – she was strong, impartial, passionate, principled and unbelievably smart. She also had no sense of proportion when it came to her own children.
"Why?" demanded Melinda.
"Because she's fourteen," Rosie spoke quietly. "And she wants to go to the movies with a boy. In the afternoon. On a Saturday. We can drive her there, and pick her up afterward."
"But they want to go for pizza afterward," Melinda's voice rose in indignation. "Pizza!"
Rosie strove to keep her face straight and not to laugh openly. "Pizza's okay, honey," she said. "The pizzeria is right by the movie theater. And she's a sensible girl."
"Just what do we know about this boy?" Melinda's eyes narrowed. She was finding it so hard to accept that their daughter Gracie was growing up.
"Apart from knowing him since he was four years old? Well, I went to college with his father, so I've known him for over 20 years. And his mother was in my ante-natal classes with me when I was expecting Theo. His grandmother is on the committee at school, and his aunt is a pastor at Liv and Alex's church. Apart from that, you're right, we barely know him," Rosie teased.
Melinda fixed her with a glare. Her eyes softened, and she gave a small smile. She nodded. "You're right," she started to laugh. "God, sometimes I can hear myself, and I can't believe the stuff that I am saying. I'm sorry, honey," tears of mirth spilled down her cheeks.
Rosie took her in her arms and kissed her. "Now we know what our parents went through," she said with a smile.
"Only Gracie didn't have to come out to us," Melinda mused.
"No," Rosie laughed. "She had to come in to us! Remember her face when she told us she liked a boy? It was almost like she was apologizing."
Melinda touched her wife's soft cheek lovingly. "She's a good kid, isn't she?"
"The best," Rosie smiled.
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Elliot scowled. He had had a long day at work, with no sign of it ending, and he hadn't even been on call. But Olivia's absence had left a big hole, and nobody ever refused to come in when the case involved a child. Munch was currently talking to the victim, a five-year-old boy but, while he was good with children, he was not even in the same league as Olivia – she really had the magic touch, and he missed that about her.
He smiled, thinking about the reason for her absence. He had had reservations, initially, when Olivia and Alex had gotten together – prejudices, he had to admit to himself now. But they were wonderful parents, and he knew they would be to the new child.
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Alex turned over, finding the bed next to her empty – and cold. Quietly, she went into the living room. There were times, she knew, that Olivia preferred to be left alone. Working out which times these were was one of the hardest thing she had had to deal with recently.
Olivia sat curled on the couch, Wiggle next to her, his chin on her thigh. Alex knew it seemed unlikely, but she could have sworn Wiggle had an anxious look on his face. Olivia looked up, and gave a small smile. "Sorry," she said quietly, hating that she had woken Alex.
"Want me to go?" Alex asked.
"No," Olivia patted the seat next to her.
Alex lifted Wiggle and sat in his place, letting the dog settle himself over the pair of them. She took Olivia's hand. "Feeling sick?" she asked.
Olivia shook her head.
"Anxious?"
Olivia's eyes filled with tears, and she nodded slightly. "Yeah," her voice was rough.
Alex reached for the comforter behind her. She pulled Olivia carefully into her lap, sliding a cushion under her head and pulling the comforter over them both. She let her soft hands slide up and down Olivia's body, caressing her arms, her side and then running gently over her swollen belly. She didn't speak, allowing her hands to express the love and tenderness that she felt. Olivia would talk when she wanted – if she wanted.
Olivia turned into Alex's embrace, loving the feel of her soft, strong body. This was just a blip, she knew that. And Alex would make everything better. She always did. After about 20 minutes of gentle caresses, Olivia felt Alex's hand move to her hair, loving the sensation of her loving fingers carding through the short tresses.
Alex could tell that Olivia was starting to relax. Olivia caught one of her hands and pulled it to her, while the other continued to pet her. "That last scan," Olivia said at last.
Alex immediately stiffened, and Olivia squeezed her hand. "It's okay. We're okay. Both of us. I swear," Olivia immediately reassured her. She looked up at Alex's worried face. "Truly."
Alex nodded. She waited for Olivia to continue talking.
"It was when you went to the bathroom – after it was all over," Olivia continued. She looked closely at Alex. "I asked the sex. I wanted to know."
"Is that all?" Alex smiled. "Liv, it's fine."
"But we agreed not to."
"We didn't sign any legally binding contracts," Alex resumed her gentle stroking. "Liv, it's okay."
"But that's it," Olivia said. "It's not."
"Liv, what is is? You can tell me."
"You don't want to know. The sex."
"Liv, something is worrying you. Baby, it's okay. Tell me. A surprise would be nice, but knowing's nice too. We can plan. We can pick a name."
Olivia's breathing hitched. She burrowed further into Alex's front. "It's a boy," her voice was muffled.
Alex smiled. God, she knew how spoiled that boy would be in a house full of women. "That's great, Liv. A son. That's wonderful."
"As long as he's not like my father," Olivia tried to mask her anguish. Just like when she had been pregnant with Lily, she had started to have vivid nightmares about the child inheriting her rapist father's character.
Alex swallowed. She wrapped her arms around her lover and held tight, trying to make her feel safe. "He won't be," she said softly. "He'll be like you. He'll be strong, and kind, and loving, and we're gonna be so proud of him. Anxiety is natural, Liv. But you have nothing to worry about. We're going to love him so much, and he's going to know how much he is loved, and cherished."
"We haven't made love in nearly three weeks," Olivia said, irrelevantly.
"I know. That's okay too," Alex stroked her face. "What?" she eyed her carefully. "You wanna now?"
Olivia shook her head. "No. And I hate that I don't. I'm so tired, Lex. And I hurt. And I feel like a whale," she knew she was whining.
Alex smiled. "I know, sweetheart. I know. You want to come to bed? You can be all those things, and be a little more comfortable."
"Will you hold me?"
"Always, Olivia. Always."
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"Mommy, why is Mama still in bed?" Lily demanded. She knew her Mama was having a baby, but just sometimes she couldn't help wishing she could play with her as much as she used to.
"She's a little tired, chipmunk," Alex slid a stack of pancakes on Lily's plate.
"But it's snowing!" Lily said, a little crossly. "Mama is missing it all."
"No I'm not," Olivia's voice came from the doorway. Lily looked up, delighted. "You want to go to the park?"
"Park!" Maisie joined in the conversation.
Alex gave Olivia a stern look. "Nu uh," she said. She approached Olivia and kissed her gently. "Not you, darling," she ran her hand over Olivia's bump. "Lily and Maisie and I are going. You're going to have a relaxed morning. Remember, the girls are coming over this evening to celebrate? You'll need your energy then."
Olivia felt tears threaten, but she forced herself to remain composed. Alex was right, she knew that. God, she hated her hormones which had been particularly crazy over the past few weeks. She nodded. She was looking forward to seeing Sarah and Jay and Tommy, who were coming over early evening with Robyn and Amy to celebrate Robyn's decision to study plumbing with Jay, with the ultimate intention of going into business together. And she was still exhausted – she also knew that there were too many hazards in the snow and ice, and that falling at this point in her pregnancy would not be helpful.
Alex touched her hand lightly, seeing the conflicting emotions on Olivia's face.
Olivia nodded, and gave her a small smile. She turned to their daughters. "Okay," she forced a wide smile. "But you know you've gotta pick me up a doughnut while you're out."
Lily clambered down from her chair, and wrapped her arms around Olivia's legs. "I love you Mama," she said.
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Casey sidled into the art class, half-wishing she had not agreed to go. She settled herself at an easel at the back of the room, and smiled at the middle-aged woman sitting next to her. She was lost in her own thoughts when the door opened again, and she heard a low, melodious, female voice introduce herself to the class.
"Hi everyone," the voice said. "My name is Vivien Gardiner, and I'm taking over as your tutor. I don't expect I'll be as good as Chris was," she smiled, "but I promise to do my best."
Casey smiled at the laugh in the woman's voice. She looked up, and saw possibly the most beautiful woman she had ever set eyes on. Vivien Gardiner was a tall, curvaceous brunette, with a mane of loose curls cascading around her shoulders. On first impressions, her hair was brown, but already Casey could see flashes of gold, and even some red in there. Her skin was lightly tanned, as if naturally rather than from the sun – very slightly darker than Olivia. She was exotic, but also looked approachable. And her smile was wide and welcoming.
"We'll start with everyone's name, shall we?" Vivien started to unpack her shoulder back. She smiled up at the class. "You can call me Viv."
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"Let me take that," Olivia held her hand out to take Robyn's coat. "You two look great," she smiled, taking in Amy with that statement as well.
"We feel great," Amy took Robyn's hand. "Everything's good."
Olivia smiled. She rested one hand softly on Amy's hand. "I'm so pleased," she said in a quiet voice.
"So how about you?" Robyn laughed, pointing at her stomach.
Olivia grimaced. "Honestly, I'll be glad when this is over. It's been a long haul this time," she tried to laugh. "I'm surprised poor Alex hasn't left me, I've been awful to live with, isn't that right, Alexandra?" Olivia caught Alex's hand as she approached.
Alex nodded solemnly. "It's been hell for me," she deadpanned. "I'm considering having Liv committed to a home for the terminally unreasonable."
Olivia grinned. "She's not wrong," she admitted, smiling widely.
Once everyone was settled, Olivia proposed a toast. "To the most successful plumbing business in New York City!"
"In a couple of years," Jay reminded her from the couch, where she sat with Tommy on her lap, and Lily at one side, while her wife Sarah held a wriggling Maisie.
"We need champagne," Olivia declared. "I can't believe I forgot to get champagne!"
Alex laughed. "We have plenty of wine, Liv. Relax."
"I'm going to the bodega," Olivia said stubbornly.
Alex opened her mouth to protest.
"It's two blocks from here, Alexandra," Olivia's voice took on a mutinous tone.
Alex was shocked to see the sudden change in Olivia's mood, but she could tell it was not a good time to argue with her. "What about...," her tone was conciliatory.
"I'll be back in five," Olivia said firmly.
Jay watched the interchange with interest. She had heard that Olivia's mood had been mercurial, especially in the last month, and she could see Alex biting her lip, trying not to irritate her further. She made a decision. "Is it okay if I come with?" she said, in a light tone. "I forgot to go out to get that milk," she looked apologetically at Sarah. "I can pick some up before I get in trouble with my wife."
Olivia nodded assent, and waited for Jay to shrug on her leather jacket.
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Sarah waved as her wife closed the door to the apartment to leave with Olivia. She smiled at Alex, who looked anxious. "You okay?" she asked quietly.
Alex nodded. "It's not her fault," she said.
"I know," Sarah agreed.
"Sometimes it's real hard to say the right thing," Alex hated to admit any flaws in Olivia's character. "This pregnancy's been so hard on her this time."
"Not long now. What is it, three weeks?"
"Twenty days," Alex sighed with relief. "And counting!" she grinned. "C'mon, let's join the others. Liv and Jay will be back any moment. She just hates being trapped in the apartment."
"I know," Sarah reassured.
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"Poor Alex," Olivia said glumly as they approached the door to the bodega. "I've been making her life hell."
Jay quirked an eyebrow. "Something tells me Alex is fine," she said, with a grin. "Hey, you've been doing all the work," she touched Olivia's belly. "Alex can cope when you need to blow off a little steam."
Olivia smiled. "Let's get her some of those pistachio nuts. She loves those."
"A nutty apology, huh?" Jay laughed. "Okay," she pushed the door open. "After you, detective."
Olivia was laughing as she stepped through the door. If she hadn't been, she might have noticed the look of terror in the face of the girl serving at the counter. She might have noticed the youth standing by the door, his hands shaking as he held a gun in his hand. As it was, all that she noticed was the screaming pain as he brought the weapon down on the back of her head. As she crumpled to the floor, all she could think of was Alex and their daughters. And then it all went black.
