Eridan/Feferi: La douleur exquise (French)- The exquisite pain that comes from loving someone who will never love you back


You love her the way the myths say Hades loved Persephone, with as much passion as a god can muster and with a selfishness that never wants to let her go. But you let her go anyway, because the grace and kindness and wonder of her personality do this bitter world a great service. She does you a great kindness by even being your friend (you don't have many friends).

It hurts though, to watch her run to arms other than yours. Because Feferi is a butterfly, and you are the longing moth (creatures of different worlds). What you wouldn't give to join her, hold her, to make her yours. Yours alone, in the whole world.

You'd kill for that.

But you don't, though her attachment to the low class buffoon is an insult (how dare she choose him over you! Clearly, you're the superior man). Not even when she dates the sweaty asshole that lives two houses down from you (a relative term, both your families own extensive lands), though that choice leaves you crying into your pillow for weeks.

You're fine though, because she's still your best friend. And even better, you're still her best friend. The best, so no one can take you spot. Even just that much, being her best friend, eases the pain of not being romantically first in her heart. Just that much, knowing that you are her platonic life partner, makes it that much more bearable.

Though you still contemplate wiping all of her suitors off the planet in your darker moments.

Your buddy Karkat worries about you, "Man, aren't you fucking sleeping?" You tell him that you have been, but you haven't. The thought that she might…might actually…get physical with her relationship with "Mr. Zahhak" disgusts you. It keeps you up at night, thinking about how she'd let those other men take advantage of her.

You're the only one who could possibly treat her right.

So what, if when you're kept up by thoughts of Fef being touched by inferior men you start making plans to liberate her? So what, if those plans get darker and less kind the fewer hours of sleep you get? She deserves better than them (she deserves you)!

You stop talking to Karkat, since all he wants to talk about is your stupid health. Yes, you lie (you're always lying to him nowadays). I've been sleeping. No, you'll say, I haven't spoken to Fef. Feferi hasn't spoken to you in weeks; she's been too wrapped up in her new boyfriends (those stupid whores who think they can take her form you, damn them all).

But you'll fix that, and soon. She'll talk to you then, she'll love you then!

"Eridan!" Her voice cuts across the gloom of Zahhak's dark bedroom. A beam of light from the doorway lights up just enough for her to see what you've done. "Eridan, what have you done?"

And red drips from your face as you stand up tall and proud, "I made us okay again. We can be together now, Fef, the way we were always meant to be!" Because Captor and Zahhak lie at your feet, both of her boyfriends out of the way now, and your path to her heart finally lies clear.

Your heart can rest; the pain can finally stop crippling you. You spread your arms and announce, "I love you, Fef." And she screams.