I wiped the sweat off my brow as I finished the huge pot of stirfry. "Yeah, this'll do." I turned and stepped over to the nearby table.

The place was simple - a kitchen, a simple dining table, like the one I sat at many a time back in my little village with Yukihime. All of it was at the top of a skyscraper, so tall it touched the clouds.

I served the people sitting around the table. A couple little kids, and myself. Well. "Kids". I guess I was the youngest there, really.

"What is this?" One of the kids asked. A twisted grin played upon their lips, and their cheeks blushed deeply - and their eyes reflected confusion. "Where are we?"

"This is where I'll be giving you my answer," I said. "It's called a phantasmagoria. Right, Kitty?"

"I'm impressed you're able to do it," the other child said. She smirked, revealing a pair of unnaturally sharp incisors. She tasted the stirfry. "Outstanding work. Your memories of your cooking are much less humble than your memories of talking about your cooking." she observed.

I shrugged. "It's really just lots of practice cooking, anyone can do it. And lots of practice being in these things, too. You've been pulling me into them the same way, right? And Negi too. I don't think I would know how to bring anyone else into it, but I don't have to, do I? If it's just me and you guys, it's really just like lucid dreaming. Oh man! I can lucid dream now, can't I! Sweet."

The first child picked at their stirfry. "This is an unnecessary gesture. If it is in response to my argument, I apologize if sharing my memories proved overwhelming. I wished to be convincing."

"It was a good argument," I said, talking with my mouth full, "You lived it, after all. I can't tell you your life's not valid, you know?"

"Then you concur." They said. Chara said, I suppose. I think.

"Hey, your name is Chara, right? I wanna know for sure about that."

They were silent for a long moment. "...Yes."

"Cool. Anyway. Reason I'm talking to you in here is that I think Kitty can bring some perspective. She's older than I am, after all."

"What do you mean?" Chara asked.

"I mean I'm gonna say no."

Chara's eyes narrowed. I felt Chara struggling to wake up for a moment, but I felt like I had a good grip on things.

"What, you don't wanna know why? I'm doing this so I can explain stuff, you know," I said. "Plus you probably haven't eaten anything in a while. Have some stirfry. Or tell me what your monster parents made for you, you know, back before you hated them forever. I don't need to make stirfry."

"You are mocking me." Chara deadpanned.

"Uh. Sorry. I'm not trying to. It's just... for someone so old, you're acting like a kid. I mean... yeah, it sucks that you were in that position. But you aren't in that position now, right?"

"I still have no body. I exist at the whims of a flippant child."

"Well, you know, maybe when I get home we can change that?" I said. "There are folks back home who can build humanoid robots and stuff, you can get a new body maybe. One that's all yours. And folks won't judge you! Okay, actually tons of people will judge you and try to kill you. But you'll have us to protect you. Tell 'em, Kitty! Oh! And I'm not flippant!"

She laughed. "Touta, you might be the most flippant man I have ever met." She took a bite of stirfry. "Anyway. Why not kill everybody? What do their lives matter to you?"

"Jeez! Kitty! I thought you were gonna be taking my side on this!" I exclaimed, while the child grinned. "I know you aren't really like this."

"You're being flippant again, Touta. I'm the Dark Evangel, the most hated vampire in the world... the most feared evil mage. What do I care about the world?" She took a bite.

"Kitty, don't give me that crap." I said as I crossed my arms. Okay. Maybe I was pretty flippant. "I know you put that up as a front, because you've been hurt too many times. But I know you. I remember, the saddest expression I've ever seen you take was after you killed someone. Even in self-defense!"

"That may be true," She said, "My persona as the most evil mage is just a mask. Something I wear for my own reasons. But if you wear a mask long enough, Touta, do you think it can come off so easily?"

"Uh..."

"Take this pathetic child," She gestured to Chara. "They have been wearing that grin - that knowing, mocking, sadistic grin - for so long they probably don't remember what a real smile is like. This, too, is something an immortal must deal with - wearing our masks so long we can no longer take them off. To find that what once protected and comforted us now restrains us. What do you say to that, Touta?" She gave her own 'twisted' grin, a sly, knowing smirk. I could clearly see that 'mask' she was wearing, as the cliche-filled, morally ambiguous villain. Or, maybe anti-hero? Either way. This Kitty might only be like, a mind-duplicate downloaded to my brain somehow, but she's a ham. I wonder if Castlevania is secretly like her autobiography or something, because I could totally see her being all "WHAT IS A MAN?"

"Jeez, Kitty." But then I put together what she actually meant. "Oh. OOooohhhh..." I stood up, walking slowly around the table, looking down at Chara.

Chara's twisted smile never vanished. If anything, it grew more intense. I could see their body tense up. They were expecting me to fight. They... probably always expected that, I guess? I think maybe that's a symptom of PTSD, right? Man, PTSD has got to be the hardest part of being an immortal.

"You... have me at a disadvantage." Chara stated. Took me a moment of thinking of my English to realize they weren't using a metaphor or anything like that. They were just being literal. An animal backed into a corner, trapped between a monster and his stirfry. They were shaking a little, not completely able to pretend to be composed.

I reached down and hugged 'em. "It's all right, Chara," I said. "I'll help you put a real smile on your face again. I'll help you be happy."

I heard a sob and I felt a knife jab into my neck. Right in the artery. "Hurk?!" I gurgled in confusion. I mean, it wasn't going to kill me, but ow. I guess a phantasmagorica is like lucid dreaming for everybody in it huh? So anyone could just have knives if they wanted.

I just kept hugging them. Blood steamed away from the wound as Chara's arm swung again and again, jabbing into my artery, splattering red droplets that evaporated away as my body regenerated.

She kept doing that for a while. Like, long enough that it started to get boring, a while. You wouldn't think you could get bored from being stabbed, but that's totally a thing. Immortality, am I right?

After a while, Chara's sobs gave way to full on crying. Then, I heard the knife clatter to the floor. "Got it out of your system?" I asked, my voice soft.

"I'm sorry..." Chara sobbed out, their voice never sounding more childish. "I'm so sorry..."

"That's all right," I said, my arms still around them. "You're here now, with me. I'll take care of you. I know you've heard that before... and yeah, I can't really say anything to that. It's your life and I can't tell you it didn't happen. But that doesn't mean you should give up. Things can get better. They can always get better."