(Cut to somewhere far away in the DESERT. There is a large sandy crater in a clearing full of scrap metal. It seems that an airplane crashed here at one point.

A HELICOPTER is heard in the distance. It touches down about ten yards away from the CRATER.

There is a moment's pause.

Then, kicked by a PRODUCTION MEMBER, CADPIG and MARVIN come flying out of the HELICOPTER. They land on the ground in a heap)

CAMERAMAN

We'll be back for you in the morning!

(The CAMERAMAN tosses a BOX of MATCHES. He shuts the door. The HELICOPTER's blade spin as it takes off again)

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I've always figured myself as a patient individual. As long as I have my medications. Then…I met Cadpig. She just talks. And talks….


(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN is crouched in the SANDY CRATER. He plays with the MATCHES, trying to get them lit. CADPIG watches from the side, skeptical and unamused)

CADPIG

Hey Marvin, you want me to help you get the fire lit?

MARVIN

No.

CADPIG

What's that supposed to mean?

MARVIN

I can take care of this myself!

CADPIG

(Rolling her eyes)

Y'know...I get this weird suspicion that you don't want me around…

MARVIN

Don't push me, Cadpig.

CADPIG

Push, push, push…?

MARVIN

Excuse me – I'll have you know – I've demolished entire planets in a matter of -

CADPIG

Yawn. Yawn. Snoreeeeees-ville. Come again, Sir?

MARVIN

(Holding up the MATCHES)

Do you want to start a fire? Be my guest.

CADPIG

(Taking the MATCHES)

Sure! I'll make it your birthday present….

MARVIN

For the last time – don't talk about my birthday!

CADPIG

All right, give me a second-

(CADPIG starts to do a weird mambo. She shakes her arms around, dancing and hopping up and down in the CRATER)

MARVIN

What on Earth are you-

CADPIG

Fire dance, Marvin. I'm doing a fire dance. I'm summoning the flames.

MARVIN

If you were made for anything, I was assure you – it was reality TV-

CADPIG

"SURVIVOR GODS, I BEG OF THEE TONIGHT! I, CADPIG THE DALMATIAN, AM STRANDED WITH MARVIN THE MARTIAN! WE MAKE A HUMBLE REQUEST OF FIRE SO WE CAN EAT SALAMANDERS! DO YOU HEAR OUR PLEA?"

(A crack of thunder. Rain begins to pour over MARVIN and CADPIG, drowning out any chance of starting a FIRE. CADPIG looks crestfallen. She glares at the ground, embarrassed, unable to look at MARVIN. He looks very proud of himself)

MARVIN

Well, the Gods are happy tonight….

CADPIG

(Quietly)

Maybe I was doing a rain dance…

MARVIN

Here. We'll dig a hole in the crater. We'll cover it with something.

CADPIG

Are you talking about, like, burying ourselves alive-

MARVIN

Leaves, Cadpig! We'll cover ourselves with leaves!

(Pause)

CADPIG

I don't think you should be so temperamental on your birthday-

MARVIN

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!

(MARVIN starts to storm away. He begins to climb out of the CRATER. CADPIG looks at him sadly, watching as he climbs over the ROCK)

CADPIG

Do me a favor. Never work with young children…

MARVIN

I have no intention of ever having kids-

CADPIG

Good! You're like an angry gym teacher!

(The lightning flashes. MARVIN rises on the rocks, glaring down at CADPIG. He suddenly looks very menacing)

MARVIN

Come out of the crater…now…and help me find branches…

(MARVIN climbs out of the CRATER and vanishes from view. CADPIG shields her eyes, glaring at him through the rain)

CADPIG

(Mocking MARVIN)

"Go get this! Go get that!" Jeez Louise…

(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)

CADPIG

So, game-wise, there's really nothing I can do tonight. Marvin and I are both in the minority, so if we talk to each other, we're just going to keep repeating the same conversation: we need Wakko, Sonic, or Rita to flip...


(Cut back to CAMP. RITA and SONIC are sitting together in the SHELTER. They look up at the STARS in the SKY)

RITA

Shooting star. Make a wish..

SONIC

Nah.

RITA

C'mon, what did you want when you were a little kid?

SONIC

I wanted to be gym teacher. It's weird, I know …

RITA

I'm not a fan of kids—

SONIC

(Jokingly)

What, you're not the motherly type?

RITA

I just don't enjoy watching slobbering midgets do push-ups. But...that's what you wanted?

SONIC:

I don't really remember actually. Being a kid.

RITA

Is it just, like, a blank?

SONIC

My childhood's kind of blank.

(Pause)

I had parents. I think.

(Pause)

I've kind of been on my own…?

RITA

That's rough.

SONIC

(Laughing a little)

Nah. Good company, thrill of the road…I'm all right.

RITA

(Nudging him)

So nothing scares you?

SONIC

You're asking that because...?

RITA

Well, what scares Sonic?

SONIC

What scares Rita?

RITA

Bugs.

SONIC

Heh. Bugs are all right.

RITA

What are you scared of, Sonic?

SONIC

(After a moment)

Do you really want to know?

RITA

If it's something, like, serious—

SONIC

(Laughing a little)

All right, all right, I'll get it off my chest—

RITA

There's cameras watching.

SONIC

Good. They're not going to use this footage. It's boring.

RITA

C'mon, tell me…

SONIC

I'm scared of getting older…? Like...one day my friends are…all going to be older, and then I'm just going to be, like…I'll be out a road somewhere and I'll just be, like…"okay, so now what? What happens now?"'

(Pause)

Isn't that weird?

(Pause)

RITA

Like…is it being alone that scares you?

SONIC

(Laughing)

This is awkward, you want to drop it?

RITA

No, no. That's fine.

SONIC

Y'know, we should really keep an eye on Wakko.

(They glance inside the SHELTER. WAKKO is wrapped in BLANKETS, snoring audibly. He talks to himself in his sleep)

WAKKO

(In his sleep)

No Dot, you already had mashed potatoes…

RITA

(To WAKKO)

We've talked.

SONIC

What's he been saying?

RITA

He's our guinea pig. We've got to keep stroking him. He'll beat out Cadpig and Marvin in challenges. Then we'll cut his throat at Final Three.

SONIC

So…you're relying on me?

RITA

I mean, I'd like to go to the Final Two with you—

SONIC

I know. I just wanted to make sure.

(Pause)

RITA

I mean…game aside, you'd consider me a friend now, right?

SONIC

Like…?

RITA

Like – I think of you as a friend now—

SONIC

No, no, you are my friend!

RITA

Good.

(Pause)

Because…after the game…if people get together to hang out, I mean, maybe we could-

SONIC

Well, I'm really hard to get in touch with though.

(Pause)

RITA

Well, you don't have to hang out with me—

SONIC

No. It's just…I'm out a lot, y'know? I'm hitchhiking, climbing mountains. So….I mean, it's just not going to be easy to…get a hold of me…

RITA

We….could do it in the winter then.

SONIC

What do you mean?

RITA

Well, in the winter…when you can't run anymore…we could hang out…right?

SONIC

I guess.

(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She looks a little hurt)

RITA

That was stupid. I'm not expecting any of these people to turn around…after treating me like a disease. If he's not interested…that's fine...

(Cut to SONIC in a confessional. He looks very nervous)

SONIC

I like Rita. As a friend. She plays the flirt card. But she does that with lots of guys, y'know?I mean, I…I hope that's the case. She did kiss me.

(Pause)

I think she's trying to hang out with me outside the game. Which is cool. We could do that. But I don't really…I don't get close to people. Not that close. My fan-girls only submit their affection in writing…


(Cut back to the SANDY CRATER where MARVIN and CADPIG are stranded. There's a relentless downpour. MARVIN and CADPIG are crowded together, sitting beneath a GIANT LEAF. They look absolutely miserable. In the background, there is another MAKESHIFT TELESCOPE made out of WOOD and GLASS. It seems like MARVIN has constructed another one in their down time)

CADPIG

Do you want to play a game?

MARVIN

I'd rather be stranded without oxygen on Jupiter.

CADPIG

I spy with my little eye…something…brown.

(No response. MARVIN just glares out at the rain)

Marvin, a game isn't going to kill you.

MARVIN

What color?

CADPIG

Brown.

MARVIN

Sand.

CADPIG

Yes, you got it—

MARVIN

(Annoyed)

Sand! Everywhere! SAND! SAND! SAND! What else is there?

CADPIG

Hmmm. Maybe we should just go back to not talking to each other…

(An awkward pause. They stare out at the rain together)

MARVIN

(After a moment)

I do…appreciate it though…

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

Your kindness.

CADPIG

You do a pretty bad job of reciprocating it.

MARVIN

Recipro-what?

CADPIG

Reciprocating it. Showing it. Throwing the ball back to me.

MARVIN

I could throw the ball back—

CADPIG

Look, if games make you this miserable, I'm not going to bother…

MARVIN

We all played charades that one day. That was fun.

CADPIG

We played charades everyone freaked out at you—!

MARVIN

Well, in that case, maybe I won't "reciprocate."

(Pause)

CADPIG

Marvin, what happened to you?

MARVIN

Nothing.

CADPIG

Why do you hate everyone?

MARVIN

I don't—

CADPIG

Well, what makes you so…uncomfortable around people?

MARVIN

That's a matter best discussed later. When you're gone. And I'm a millionaire.

(MARVIN glances up at the SKY. He seems startled. He gets up hurriedly)

It's time…

CADPIG

Time for what…?

MARVIN

The planet alignments. My telescope. I'll be able to pick up the vibrations…

CADPIG

What? The message from your family? For your birthday?

(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)

CADPIG

This morning…okay, Marvin told me he's doing this weird thing where he's using a telescope to pick up vibrations in space, to see if his family on Mars is sending him a birthday message via, like, satellite or something? I don't know. It's depressing. He wants a message from his family….

(Cut back to the scene)

MARVIN

Yes. The message from my family. Now quiet. I've had enough of your lunacy tonight.

(MARVIN starts to peer through the TELESCOPE, looking up at the RAINY SKY)

CADPIG

I'm not going to get in the way of this…

MARVIN

Yes. Yes. Be quiet. The planets are aligned. I might pick up the frequency…

CADPIG

Have they ever left you a message before?

(Pause)

Marvin?

MARVIN

No.

(Pause)

Wait, there's something. There's something coming in.

CADPIG

Really?

MARVIN

Yes, it's from Mars! Cadpig, I need you to remember this. Remember each word that I say. They might not be in order… "Marvin"

(CADPIG starts to scribble down words in the DIRT with a STICK)

CADPIG

"Marvin."

MARVIN

"Incinerate."

CADPIG

"Incinerate."

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

Out of the blue, a message came from my family. I…I hadn't been that excited since I taught my dog to roll over…

(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN is still giving words to CADPIG. She seems apprehensive, realizing now what the words mean)

MARVIN

"Don't"

CADPIG

"Don't"

MARVIN

"Come"

CADPIG

"Come"

MARVIN

"Back" All right, all right, now, tell me what it says!

CADPIG

I wrote them down in the dirt.

MARVIN

Well, don't build up the suspense. Let's put them in order.

CADPIG

I…I think I figured it out, Marvin…

MARVIN

Well…?

CADPIG

It's…it's not what you expected—

MARVIN

What do you mean? It's my family. Give it, let me read it.

CADPIG

But I just don't think—

MARVIN

Let's see...

(He shoves CADPIG out the way. He squints at words in the DIRT, reading them outloud)

"Marvin…we realize you're trying to win money to sneak back to Mars…and if you step foot at our home…we will….incinerate you. Don't…come…back. Love…your…family…

(Long, awkward silence. Neither CADPIG or MARVIN say anything. MARVIN just stares down at the MUD, lost for words)

CADPIG

Do…do you want to go for a walk?

(MARVIN doesn't respond. He takes the STICK that CADPIG used to write words in the MUD. He crosses over to the TELESCOPE.

Without warning, MARVIN begins to smash the TELESCOPE with the STICK.

He cries out in rage. He continues until the TELESCOPE is reduced to SHAMBLES. CADPIG just watches, horrified, too frightened to step in)

MARVIN

FINE! FINE! I SURVIVED OUT IN SPACE ALONE! NOBODY TO HELP ME! DIDN'T I TURN OUT FINE? I'M GOING TO MAKE IT BACK TO MARS, YOU HEAR ME? I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT MILLION DOLLAR CHECK AND I'M GOING TO WAVE IT IN THEIR FACES!

(He turns to CADPIG, enraged, stepping toward her)

HOW DOES THAT SOUND, CADPIG?

(Another crack of LIGHTNING in the SKY. MARVIN just stares at CADPIG, face dripping, waiting for a response. He doesn't seem angry. He just seems to want her to say something.

CADPIG has nothing. After a moment, she just starts to cry. She can't manage to look at MARVIN)

MARVIN

(After a moment)

Worthless….

(MARVIN storms off with the STICK. CADPIG watches him go, hugging herself in the RAIN)


(Cut to the following MORNING. The rain has ceased. CADPIG and MARVIN sit on ROCKS in the middle of the CRATER. Their BAGS are packed. They seem to be waiting for the HELICOPTER to take them back to CAMP)

CADPIG

(Breaking the silence)

I…I don't know what it means to you but…

(No response from MARVIN. He just stares out into space)

Sometimes…people really bother me…

MARVIN

It's fine.

(Pause. He still doesn't look at CADPIG)

I just...blocked it out, I guess?

(Pause)

When I was thirteen, I ran away to the Martian Training Academy. My father passed away. In the Sixth Intergalactic War. We were about to start the Seventh. Nobody was doing anything. Everyone just seemed complacent with it. Going back to war. Rationing food again. Recycling scrap metal for ammunition. Organizing donation bins for soldiers. I didn't want that. I refused...

(Pause)

So I left my family to join the military. In the middle of the night, I packed my bag, I took my razor in the bathroom...my father's dog tags...and I left. I didn't talk to them for years after. I haven't talked to them since. It wasn't that I didn't want to. It's just…with all the training - I mean - why would I have wanted them to be involved? How could I think about them anymore?

(Pause)

I mean...maybe they should hate me...

CADPIG

Maybe you just need to talk to them…

MARVIN

No...

(Pause)

You've always been very kind to me. Thank you...

(Another pause)

I never felt like you weren't trying…

(The sound of HELICOPTER BLADES approaching off-screen. MARVIN gives a weak nod to CADPIG. Then he picks up his BAG and exits)

(Cut to CADPIG in a CONFESSIONAL)

CADPIG

I was having some suspicions. It just seemed… strange. They send us here for the night, but there's no gimmick? No catch? So…while we were waiting for the helicopter to touch down, I thought I'd do a last minute strip-search….

(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN stands at the top of the CRATER, watching as the HELICOPTER touches down. CADPIG sits nearby. She makes sure MARVIN isn't looking. Then she takes a step back, peeking into the piece of the CRASHED JET behind her)

CADPIG

It wasn't an Idol…but it was a step in the right direction….

(Cut to CADPIG fishing through the JET. It seems to be part of the COCKPIT, turned upside-down. She rummages through a BROKEN DRAWER. She snags something. She pulls it out. It looks like an IMMUNITY IDOL, but there's a piece of RED TAPE around it. There is also a NOTE attached. CADPIG rips off the NOTE and reads it out loud)

CADPIG

"This is a fake immunity Idol. It looks exactly like a real one. If you give it to somebody…they could use it to your advantage."

(The sound of the HELICOPTER touching down outside. CADPIG bites her lip, holding the FAKE IDOL to her CHEST)


(Cut to sometime later. The HELICOPTER descends on the outskirts of CAMP. It blows up sand from the ground below. CADPIG and MARVIN step out with their BACKPACKS, hopping down a LADDER.

The only person waiting to greet them, oddly enough, is RITA)

RITA

So how was the bug situation?

CADPIG

(Showing her BUG BITES)

And it was burning out there! Dog day afternoon...

RITA

(She glances over MARVIN, trying to smile)

How about you, Marvin?

MARVIN

Pardon…?

RITA

Did you manage?

MARVIN

(Awkwardly)

Yes. Of course. You've…you've been keeping the shelter in shape?

RITA

What do you mean? It's our shelter. It's built.

MARVIN

Well…I suppose…I'll unpack my things…

(MARVIN walks off toward CAMP, looking dejected. RITA turns to CADPIG, a little confused)

RITA

Did something happen?

CADPIG

Just let him cool off.

RITA

Well, if it means anything to you…we are sending him home tonight...


(Cut to MARVIN standing alone in the DESERT. The SUN is shining. The STORM has stopped. He watches a HOARDE of LIZARDS scamper across the DESERT. They rush away from him. Suddenly, a NET snags around the LIZARD.

They are pulled into the AIR, caught in the NET hanging from a BRANCH – a trap set by MARVIN. MARVIN storms over and seizes the NET. He marches off-screen, dragging his prey with him)

(Cut to MARVIN in a CONFESSIONAL)

MARVIN

Psssh. Why is Mars so great? Pollution! Oil leakage on the conveyer belts in Asteroid City! I mean – it's my home – but – I can't do anything about that. I can only better my own welfare now…

(He takes a deep breath)

I don't have a choice….

(Pause)

I'm not giving up here. No. Wakko, Sonic, Rita, Cadpig – I'll pile drive them. I'm going to win a million dollars. I'm going to live a happy, peaceful life with my dog….in our trailer…alone

(He glares at the camera)

Now…don't ask about my family...


(Cut to CADPIG resting in the SHELTER. For some reason, she has tied DODGER'S old BANDANNA around her neck. MARVIN creeps in beside her. He kneels down to speak to her)

MARVIN

Hello Cadpig- still interested in becoming evil?

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

Evil. Need I say it in French?

CADPIG

But I thought we decided you weren't?

MARVIN

Take Dodger's bandanna off...

(MARVIN crawls over to the other side of the SHELTER. He pulls out a GREEN WAR HELMET, identical to his. MARVIN proceeds to place it on CADPIG's head)

CADPIG

(Wobbling back and forth)

Marvin, this thing is too heavy for me—

MARVIN

(Raising his fist)

From now on - Cadpig is no more! What do you say? Be my accomplice?

CADPIG

Wasn't this your dog's helmet?

MARVIN

You're wearing it backwards—

(MARVIN crawls over to help her. CADPIG shakes her head and takes the HELMET off)

CADPIG

Marvin, you said you weren't evil-

MARVIN

I'm trying to save you! Play dirty! It's the only way you'll last!

CADPIG

I sent Dodger home! Hello?! Wasn't that dirty? Marvin, look, look, you're just upset about your family – you're trying to do something drastic about it!

MARVIN

(Snatching the HELMET back)

Hmph. Well, in that case, I'll be taking that back—

CADPIG

I'm not your accomplice-

MARVIN

Forget it. I'll tell the others to buy you a drink at Loser Lodge...

CADPIG

I'm under-aged...

MARVIN

Then they'll buy you a chew toy.


(Cut to somewhere else in the DESERT. WAKKO is crouched over the SOIL. He has a handful of JELLY BEANS and is planting them in the ground for some reason. CADPIG crosses up to him with a forced smile. WAKKO pretends not to notice her)

CADPIG

Wakko – my home-slice! Whatcha up to?

WAKKO

(Coldly)

Just planting jelly beans…

CADPIG

Where'd you get those?

WAKKO

(Not looking at her)

The merge feast. I saved them. I'm planting them so they grow into a beanstalk…

CADPIG

(Forcing a laugh)

Y'know, sometimes you're, like, totally sane and rational – and the next moment - it's like – who am I talking to? Who are you, Wakko?

WAKKO

(Coldly)

Who are you?

(Awkward silence)

CADPIG

So…why are you growing a beanstalk?

WAKKO

To make more jelly beans.

CADPIG

Okay – well, hey, hey, why don't we do it together? We'll plant some seeds. Candy buddies—

WAKKO

Do me a favor.

CADPIG

What?

WAKKO

Don't compare us to candy. Jelly beans are my favorite.

(Silence)

CADPIG

What's that supposed to mean?

WAKKO

Look at what you did last round! I kissed you because of Yakko's mushroom – that's one thing – but then you tried to manipulate me—!

CADPIG

I did not—

WAKKO

What did you say? "Was there anything in the kiss? Sorry Wakko, I think I genuinely did kind of like you." You knew I'd feel guilty about what happened between us! You were trying to do the same thing to me that you did to Courage—

CADPIG

I didn't manipulate Courage!

WAKKO

So you just happened not to tell him about the Idol that round? You just happened to conveniently borrow his Idol - and allow him to be voted out?

CADPIG

I'm not going to apologize...

WAKKO

And I'm not going to align with you.

CADPIG

I'm done apologizing! It hasn't gotten me anywhere!

WAKKO

Then stop milking sympathy—

CADPIG

I'll milk you like a cow, buddy! I mean, if you want to try to send me home tonight-

WAKKO

(Quietly)

Ugh. We're not sending you home tonight. It's Marvin…

CADPIG

Fine! Plant your jelly beans…

WAKKO

I will! And you're not going to have any!

(CADPIG glares at WAKKO. She snatches a JELLY BEAN from the GROUND. She eats in front of him and storms off. WAKKO looks a little crestfallen. Then, out of nowhere, a small PLANT sprouts out of the GROUND. There are TWO JELLY BEANS attached to a LEAF)

WAKKO

(Bewildered)

Wow…everything I touch stops making sense…


(Cut to MARVIN at the center of CAMP. He sits on a LOG staring out at the flames. He sharpens a wooden knife with a ROCK. RITA sits down beside him, She struggles to smile)

RITA

Hey Marvin – we haven't talked in forever—

MARVIN

(Trying to smile back)

Well, when you flip on somebody - that's generally the result.

RITA

Are you busy?

MARVIN

No. No. I'm just…the salamanders. I'm going to roast them.

RITA

Good company, huh? They talk as much as you do!

MARVIN

Was that your attempt at a joke?

(Awkward silence. RITA shuffles uncomfortably)

RITA

Hey. Hey. I wanted to show you. I stole this from one of the camera dudes. Figured you could use it to pass the time….

(She pulls out a small YO-YO)

It's a Yo-Yo. Do.. they have those on your planet?

MARVIN

(Brightening up)

Yes. We have toys. We have fun. You'd think we were all—

RITA

Aliens or something, right?

(They force laughs)

So…do you want to play with it a little?

MARVIN

You give me a bunny. Then a Yo-Yo. It's the season of giving here, isn't it?

(MARVIN takes the Yo-Yo. He plays with it half-heartedly, doing a few simple tricks. RITA watches from the side)

RITA

I'm sorry I exiled you last night.

MARVIN

No matter.

(He offers her the YO-YO)

Here...

RITA

(Taking the YO-YO back)

So, I just came over to say, um—

MARVIN

Yes?

RITA

I was just talking to Sonic – about, like, hanging out with people, after the game – and y'know Sonic. Sonic's busy...

(Pause)

But – I figured – I mean, are you still planning on going home to Mars after this?

(Stiff silence)

Marvin?

MARVIN

(After a moment)

No.

RITA

Why not?

MARVIN

(Louder)

Because people change their minds...

RITA

What's up with you?

MARVIN

Why are you here? What do you want?

RITA

Nothing.

MARVIN

Tell me! What's your lie? You're going to vote me out tonight. I know you are. So what is it? What's the lie that you're going to feed me?

RITA

Dude…this is just a game. Can't we just, like…talk? Like before? I thought we were friends.

(MARVIN grabs her Yo-Yo and snatches it back. He starts to cradle it, looking away from her)

MARVIN

Why are you lying?

RITA

I'm not

MARVIN

I'm fed up with this! The scheming! Pretending I don't exist! I'm not going to fall for your trap! Why can't you just tell me you're voting me out?

RITA

Dude, I wanted to hang out! That's all! Keep it!

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He sits holding RITA's YO-YO)

MARVIN

I don't care if Rita was being sincere. I don't want to hate these people…but that's the only way I'm going to survive...


(Cut to MARVIN out in the DESERT. He is crouched on top of a SMALL CLIFF assembling SUPPLIES together. He has a wrap of ALUMINUM FOIL, a handful of PLASTIC BEADS, and a PENCIL. He crafts them together, wrapping the FOIL around the BEADS. Then he shoves the PENCIL inside)

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I'm making a smoke bomb. It's simple really. In the Martian Training Academy, I was taught the fine art of camouflage. Deception. Making your enemies so delirious that they can't even think straight. If you can do that…you won't have a problem getting into their heads. Today…my target is Wakko…

(Cut to MARVIN finishing the SMOKE BOMB. He finishes wrapping the PENCIL in ALUMINUM FOIL. Then he crawls over to the other side of the CLIFF. He picks up two STICKS and rubs them together, trying to start a FIRE)

(Cut back to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I came into this game thinking that people would be logical…but I wasn't prepared for people playing based off their emotions. Wakko, in particular, has practically gone through an existential crisis trying to protect his siblings. Now, it's time to finally use that against him. If I can frighten him enough, I can get into his head. I can make it even easier for him to align with me tonight…


(Cut to a little while later. MARVIN sits on top of the SAME CLIFF. He looks down into the DESERT, watching as WAKKO approaches the WELL. MARVIN watches as he raises the BUCKET with the ROPE, dropping it down into the WATER.

MARVIN raises his hand with the SMOKE BOMB. He steadies it carefully)

MARVIN

There we go…

(MARVIN chucks the SMOKE BOMB.

It goes flying through the air. It lands at WAKKO's feet. For some reason however, the SMOKE BOMB doesn't detonate. Ijust sits there)

MARVIN

(Muttering)

Why is it always me?

(WAKKO glances down and looks at the SMOKE BOMB. He picks it up. He sniffs it, curious, not knowing what it is)

MARVIN

No. No. Don't do what I think you're doing…

(WAKKO glances from side to side, seeing if anyone is watching. He shrugs. Then he opens up his mouth wide and eats the SMOKE BOMB. MARVIN gasps, hiding on the CLIFF, swearing under his BREATH. WAKKO rubs his stomach, displeased by the TASTE. From behind the WELL, SONIC comes running up to him)

SONIC

Hey Wak, I thought I had the nomadic spirit here. I can't keep up with you…

WAKKO

Do you really have to follow me twenty-four seven? I mean, if you're that worried that I'm going to flip on you—

SONIC

Flipping - all this stuff about betraying each other, dude! I just wanted to put the bad stuff behind us, y'know? You want to go running? I got to get my six-pack back.

WAKKO

No thanks. I'm feeling a little sick…

SONIC

Yeah, you don't look so hot. What's up?

(WAKKO's face begins to bloat. He rubs his stomach, trying to quell it. Suddenly, WAKKO belches. A TURRET of SMOKE comes out of his MOUTH from the BOMB. SONIC is shocked. Very quickly, WAKKO and SONIC are lost in the SMOKE)

SONIC

Wakko! I told you to stop doing toon stuff!

WAKKO

I'm not! Wait, what just happened?

(MARVIN hops down from the CLIFF, seeing his chance. He bumps into SONIC. He spins him aside, disorienting him in the SMOKE. Then he vanishes, hiding so WAKKO and SONIC can't see him. MARVIN begins to circle WAKKO. WAKKO is unable to see him)

(MARVIN – just like he did last round – suddenly puts on a perfect impression of YAKKO'S voice)

MARVI

(As YAKKO)

"Don't worry, Wakko. You're just dreaming."

WAKKO

Who – what – Yakko?

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

"It's fine. You'll wake up soon. You'll side with Marvin. And everything's going to be fine…"

WAKKO

Go away scary hypnosis smoke monster!

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

Marvin's like you! He'll understand. Cadpig hates you now. Sonic and Rita are using you.

MARVIN

(As DOT)

You don't have a friend in the world out here…

WAKKO

Wait – Dot – you're here too?

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Hey Yakko – what's life going to be like when we get back home?

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

Back home? Gee, nothing's going to be the same anymore…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

The game destroyed us…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

You got that right. It didn't destroy Wakko. Not yet. But that's all right. We'll stop having fun; we'll stop messing with people. We'll just be normal…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Boring…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

We'll do normal stuff…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Like board games…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

And filing tax returns…

WAKKO

No! Guys! Stop! I didn't want the game to break us up! We can still goof around together! We don't have to change!

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

What's the point, Wak? Look at us. The game's showed us how wrong we were. We fell apart. We hardly knew each other. We're too scared to know each other. Maybe we do need to change…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

And Marvin can help you change…

(SONIC pushes his way through the SMOKE. He bumps into WAKKO and pulls him aside. MARVIN backs off into the SMOKE, making sure the OTHERS don't see him)

SONIC

Wakko, come on, let me take you out of here—

WAKKO

(Muttering to himself)

It's not my fault…

SONIC

Get up! Get up!

WAKKO

They didn't have to make us play this game!

SONIC

Dude, you're shaking all over! What's wrong?

WAKKO

IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

(Suddenly, something changes in WAKKO. His eyes become dazed, electric. A crazed smile spreads across his face. It seems like he's seeing something that's no longer there. SONIC, very frightened, backs off)

SONIC

Uh – Wakko, bro?

(Suddenly, there's a rumbling in the sky. ANVILS, SAFES, and RUBBER CHICKENS begin to pour down from the SKY. WAKKO is frozen, a mental look still locked in his eyes. SONIC screams and jumps away, barely avoiding being squashed by a SAFE)

SONIC

IT'S RAINING ANVILS!

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I didn't know Wakko's limits. I didn't know what his toon powers could do to him. I pushed him to the point where…he lost control of his powers. He had a mental breakdown…

(Cut back to the SCENE. The SMOKE has cleared. WAKKO now stands in the center of the DESERT, lost in a crazed state. His tongue is hanging out. His eyes are completely white. All around him, ANVILS, CACTUSES, and other random things fall everywhere. MARVIN is now visible after the SMOKE has cleared. SONIC turns to him, furious)

SONIC

WHAT DID YOU DO?

MARVIN

Nothing! I just…I threw a smoke bomb!

SONIC

WHAT KIND OF STATEMENT IS THAT?

MARVIN

You Earthlings! The weakest backbones I've ever seen! Wakko – I command you! Stop!

SONIC

Get out of the way—

(SONIC shoves MARVIN aside, ready to approach WAKKO. However, a massive REFRIGERATOR falls and lands a foot away from him. SONIC jumps back)

(A few feet away, CADPIG and RITA rush into the scene, alerted by the commotion)

CADPIG

OH MY GOD! IT'S A TOON APOCALYPSE!

RITA

What did Marvin do now?

MARVIN

Marvin! Marvin! Everything's Marvin's fault!

SONIC

(Looking at WAKKO)

Guys, he could hurt himself!

RITA

Well, I'm no therapist. I scare therapists!

SONIC

Well, try something!

RITA

Um – Wakko, if you don't stop, I'm going to beat you as dead as a doornail!

CADPIG

(Shoving RITA out of the way)

Yeah, really soothing, Rita! Ahem. Let me try. Wakko, please find your center. Energize your spirit. Breathe in, breathe out…

(A SAFE falls out of the SKY and crushes CADPIG. The OTHERS turn, terrified, aghast. After a moment, the door of the SAFE opens. CADPIG emerges, completely unscathed)

CADPIG

I'm…I'm okay.

MARVIN

Sonic, lecture him! Be his friend!

SONIC

(Shoving MARVIN)

Stand back! You caused enough damage here!

(Very slowly, SONIC steps forward to approach WAKKO. He holds out his hands)

SONIC

Yo, Wakko! Chill out, bro! It's me, Sonic-

RITA

(Covering her face)

Oh God, we're all going to die...

SONIC

Listen - you can't just expect everything to be the same forever. People change. Your sibs change. You change…

(SONIC takes another step forward. OBJECTS are still falling all around him. WAKKO doesn't seem to acknowledge SONIC. He stares forward, eyes blank, things falling all around him)

SONIC

Maybe the game did mess you guys up. Maybe things will be different now! But c'mon –what would have been worse? Getting banged up a little out here together? Or what about this – going through life pretending you were all okay with each other? You're not.Your family has issues!

(He pauses, finally getting close to WAKKO. He reaches out a HAND to touch him)

I…I know you feel like you're alone right now….but, like, when I was a kid—

RITA

Sonic, don't make this about you!

SONIC

I'M NOT! Look - when I was a kid, I was bullied. All the time, I worried whether people liked me. And now that I'm older – I think of who I was before, and I think of who the heck would be helping my friends if I were still ganging up on myself! It hurts to be wrong about yourself...

(He takes another step closer)

But you, Yakko, and Dot…you guys are scared of each other. You're family...and you're scared of knowing each other, man. When you get home now…you're going to have to realize that things aren't perfect…

(SONIC steps forward. He places his hand on WAKKO's shoulder. There's a tense moment. WAKKO locks eyes with him, still blank, still white. Then, something settles. The OBJECTS stop showering. A final CACTUS falls, nearly hitting RITA. She jumps out of the way.

After a moment, WAKKO, blinks, disoriented. He looks around, wondering what happened. Then he moans and collapses to the ground)

WAKKO

Why…why are their anvils everywhere?

SONIC

(Hugging WAKKO)

He's back to normal!

RITA

Well, let's not exaggerate…


(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He is holding a pack of ICE to his head)

WAKKO

I've never lost control of my powers before. I mean...there was one time when I was little and I was at this buffet and they mixed up the egg noodles with the tuna fish…but those were dark times...

(He takes a breath, shuddering)

So yeah. Marvin went Hollywood villain today.

It's weird.

Like – when I picture myself going home to our water tower – I'm scared of seeing my sibs again.

Like, this game - this was the first time in the history of ever that Yakko and Dot ever lost - at anything. If we're going to go back to, like, harassing people and running around and being ourselves in Burbank – we'll feel fake. We'll kind of feel like losers. So…I don't know what's going to happen...

(Pause)

But – like – at the same time, it's kind of liberating...

It's like – okay - say you had a pet llama - and you only let it eat apples, but then it started living with this other owner - and that owner only fed it grapes. Then it comes back to you and it's like, "Okay, well, this is nice and all, but where are my grapes at, owner?"

"Well, I don't have any grapes, llama. I know things are different now...but I'm going to teach you to like grapes again."

(Pause)

Yakko and Dot are my llamas. The game tried to change them...

(Pause)

But after I win...we're going to eat a whole bunch of grapes...


(Cut to the center of CAMP. WAKKO, MARVIN, and CADPIG are gathered around on the LOGS together)

MARVIN

Y'know, after what I did to you – I find it very hard to believe you want to align—

WAKKO

(Picking up a JELLY BEAN from the GROUND)

Pssh. Have a jelly bean!

MARVIN

Where'd you get that?

WAKKO

I grew them!

MARVIN

(Pushing his hand away)

Please...no peace offerings...

WAKKO

C'mon, I hold nothing against you-

CADPIG

(Butting in)

Well, I'm sorry, Wakko - this is kind of sketchy. Wouldn't you stand a better chance of beating Rita or Sonic?

WAKKO

Rita and Sonic have no intention of taking me to the end. They're a pair. At least with you guys – it's not like anyone's on a higher pedestal here. I feel like we're all equal…

MARVIN

(After a moment)

So since Rita's immune—

WAKKO

Uh-uh! No more frowning! Have a jelly bean!

(MARVIN takes the JELLY BEAN. CADPIG and WAKKO stare at him, curious, waiting for him to eat it. MARVIN opens his mouth. He pops in the JELLY BEAN. He chews on it like he's in agonizing pain)

WAKKO

...Yes?

MARVIN

(Wincing)

It's…so sugary…

CADPIG

(Nervous)

Do you want to spit it out?

WAKKO

Um, it's just candy, man-

MARVIN

(Tripping over his words)

I don't hate it!

(He swallows with difficulty0

Now…if you forgive me…well, fine. I feel the same way.

CADPIG

(After a moment)

So…do you want to vote out Sonic?

WAKKO

It has to be Sonic...


(Cut to a few minutes later. WAKKO and CADPIG are off in the DESERT together. They are picking up RUBBER CHICKENS, cleaning up the mess that WAKKO made with his outburst)

CADPIG

(Picking up a RUBBER CHICKEN)

You've got to get control of your powers, dude—

WAKKO

It's only happened, like, once…twice.

CADPIG

Well, you might get arrested one day.

WAKKO

(Handing her a CHICKEN)

Here, take him. Put him away.

CADPIG

It's a boy?

WAKKO

I brought him into existence. It's a boy.

CADPIG

Forget it! Look – how did you know Marvin wouldn't flip? What's stopping him from going to Sonic and Rita now and throwing you under the bus for siding with us?

WAKKO

Is he going to?

CADPIG

I'm not Marvin.

WAKKO

Well...we'll keep an eye on him…

(Pause)

CADPIG

Y'know, if you're, like, still passive-aggressive toward me—

WAKKO

Can't we just pick up chickens?

CADPIG

You brought it up—

WAKKO

Look! I don't know if I can trust you now! We're in a game; we're together right now – but if you want to be friends again – it's going to take time…

CADPIG

You have enough friends! Look at all these chickens!

(MARVIN enters the scene)

MARVIN

Ah, I see you're salvaging the storm. Need any help?

(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)

CADPIG

I don't think Wakko's against me right now. I mean – he's hurt by me, but he came back out of desperation. Sonic and Rita are a pair. Marvin could flip to them now with the information that Wakko gave me. So – and my conscience is really screaming at me right now – but – I'm going to help chicken boy…

(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN is away from the OTHERS, picking up CHICKENS. CADPIG turns to WAKKO. She rummages through her KNAPSACK)

CADPIG

Here, I'm going to give you something—

WAKKO

What? Are you arresting me?

(CADPIG pulls the FAKE IDOL out of her BAG. She hands it to WAKKO)

CADPIG

It's a fake Idol. Show it to Marvin. Now…

(MARVIN crosses over to the OTHERS holding a RUBBER CHICKEN)

MARVIN

Here, I collected the last of them.

(He notices the IDOL in WAKKO's hands)

Wait – what's that?

WAKKO

(Catching on)

Just a knick-knack...

(MARVIN drops the CHICKEN. He stares in shock at the Idol)


(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

After I told her everything, after I offered my allegiance – Cadpig sides with Wakko and they use an Idol to scare me into siding with them...

(Cut to the CENTER of CAMP. SONIC and RITA are lounging in the SHELTER. SONIC, probably from the hail of OBJECTS from the WAKKO outburst, has found a GUITAR. He strums a few chords. RITA sings along half-heartedly. On the other side of the SHELTER outside, MARVIN is resting his head. SONIC and RITA are oblivious to the fact that he's there)

RITA

(Singing)

"Blackbird fly…into the light of a dark black night…"

SONIC

You're not bad.

RITA

Yeah, I sing at night clubs.

SONIC

Wish I could stop by.

(Awkward pause. SONIC whistles and puts the GUITAR down)

RITA

I mean, you could

SONIC

No. No. I hate performances. Plays, music, whatever. I hate sitting still...

(Weird pause. RITA doesn't seem to want to respond)

So…you've been singing for a while?

RITA

Yeah, I mean, it gets me out of homeless shelters—

SONIC

There you go!

(Pause)

RITA

Sonic, why don't you want to hang out with me outside the game?

SONIC

I can't.

RITA

But you can! Like, there's nothing stopping you from coming to Burbank-—

SONIC

I'm busy running—

RITA

You can't forever, dude.

SONIC

Rita – look – are you really attracted to me?

(Silence)

RITA

I did kiss you before—

SONIC

But – how much do you like me?

RITA

I don't know! I mean, I thought we were friends. That did seem like a possibility—

(SONIC picks up the GUITAR again)

Put that down!

SONIC

It's down!

RITA

Look, if I make you uncomfortable—

SONIC

You don't!

RITA

Then what is it?

SONIC

I don't know! I feel like I'm going to mess things up!

(Pause)

RITA

That was all you had to say…

SONIC

I feel like a jerk...

RITA

You should.

SONIC

(After a moment)

I mean, you still have Marvin. He's your friend— right?

RITA

Marvin used me!

(MARVIN steps out from behind the SHELTER, obviously having heard the whole conversation)

MARVIN

Sorry – I missed something – what did I do this time?

RITA

This discussion's over…

(RITA storms off. SONIC is left shocked, holding his GUITAR. He smiles weakly at MARVIN)

SONIC

Hey. Uh, want to hear a song?


(Cut to the POND. RITA sits in the SHALLOW END crying softly. She hugs her knees, struggling to stop. MARVIN crawls up behind her with a handful of TISSUES. RITA is startled)

MARVIN

Here, take a tissue…

RITA

Can you please get out of my life?

MARVIN

You're like a magnet. You latch onto people. You never even give them a second thought before you do it. Here, take a tissue, take it—

RITA

Don't talk to me, Marvin…

MARVIN

I saw you were crying—

RITA

What are you trying to do? Use my vote? Pull me into another alliance?!

MARVIN

This isn't about the game—

RITA

Get real—

MARVIN

What? What did I do?

RITA

You're fake!

MARVIN

I don't want you to feel bad—

RITA

Shut up! Stop pretending to be human! Everything you do to me – it's fake! You're never going to use me again…

(A stiff silence. MARVIN glares at her. He seems to struggle for a moment, thinking of what to say. After a moment, he speaks)

MARVIN

Sonic's going to vote you out tonight…


(Cut back to the CENTER of CAMP. SONIC is still sitting in the SHELTER with his GUITAR. He strums CHORDS, trying to come up with lyrics to a SONG)

SONIC

"Rita, I'm sorry…" Um, let me think…

(MARVIN reenters)

MARVIN

Hello Sonic…

SONIC

Hey, I'm writing an apology song... What rhymes with Rita?

MARVIN

Cheetah?

SONIC

"I'm sorry…like a cheetah's sorry after it – ate something." What do you think?

MARVIN

Put that down. I need to talk to you—

SONIC

(Putting the GUITAR down)

Hey, I didn't mean to make her cry, dude! I mean – she kissed me last night, she started following me around everywhere! !It's not that I didn't like her!

MARVIN

Then what was it?

SONIC

You can like people without loving them—

MARVIN

Well, do you love anybody then?

SONIC

I don't know! I...I have enough people in my life! Why would Rita just assume things like that?

MARVIN

Well, here's some news. They're going to vote you out tonight…

(Pause)

SONIC

What?

MARVIN

I didn't want to bring it up but—

SONIC

Dude, I saved Wakko today! For real?

MARVIN

(A little uneasy)

But I flipped. Wakko, Cadpig…they wanted me to vote with them...but I'd rather go to the end with you…

(SONIC picks up his GUITAR, ready to smash it)

SONIC

STUPID GAME!

MARVIN

Sonic-

SONIC

So what, you, me, and Rita blindside Wakko?

MARVIN

If that's what you want…

SONIC

He flipped on us. Yeah, let's do it. Wakko.

(MARVIN offers out a HAND. SONIC shakes it stiffly. After a moment, MARVIN takes a breath and starts to walk away. SONIC watches him. He calls out to him again)

SONIC

Hey Marvin – look – I feel like – I'm…I'm going to lose my mind out here. Can you just, like…can you keep an eye on me? Run with me? Maybe? Sometimes? I...I feel like my brain's shutting down…

MARVIN

I don't think you'll have to worry much longer…

(MARVIN shakes his head and walks away. SONIC looks perplexed. He goes back to strumming his GUITAR)

SONIC

(Singing)

"Rita…you're like pita…bread."

(From the other side of CAMP, WAKKO enters. SONIC ducks inside the SHELTER, making sure that WAKKO can't see him. He watches curiously. WAKKO makes sure nobody is looking. Then he sighs and kneels down beside a CLUSTER of ROCKS)

WAKKO

Well…no need for this anymore…

(WAKKO reaches into his SHIRT. He pulls out the FAKE IDOL and buries it under the ROCK. Then he hurries out the way he came. SONIC places his GUITAR down. He makes sure nobody is looking. Then he hurries out into the open. He kneels down by the ROCK. He lifts it up and looks inside)

SONIC

(Muttering to himself)

Dude…


(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL later that night. The CONTESTANTS enter with their TORCHES. They lay them down against the RACK and take their seats on the LOGS. The HOST is waiting at his podium, smiling at all of them)

HOST

Well, here we are. It's been a long hard go…but one of you five is going to be a millionaire. At the same time, one of you tonight is reaching the end of the line. Sonic…why do you have a guitar with you?

SONIC

I'm going to play a song for someone…

HOST

Um…what?

SONIC

(Excited)

Yeah, after the votes are read. You'll see. Just roll with it…

HOST

Okay, well...you heard the man. It's time to vote. Cadpig, you're up…


(Cut to CADPIG in the VOTING BOOTH)

CADPIG

Sonic, you're a nice guy. I mean, you're one of the only people here who didn't turn into a really crappy person playing Survivor. Actually...I'm not sure if you ever realized you were playing Survivor. But...bye.

(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)

WAKKO

Thanks for talking me out of insane mode today. Um, but you're basically Rita's puppet right now. I have to cut your strings before it's too late...

(Cut to MARVIN in the VOTING BOOTH. He looks very upset)

MARVIN

I don't know if I have a chance going forward. But...you attacked my character today. If you last longer than me, I'm not going to take your words lying down. You've caused many people a great amount of pain …and it's time somebody put you in your place. Let's see who Sonic believes voted for him...

(Cut to SONIC in the VOTING BOOTH)

SONIC

I don't think I have any feelings for you. But going forward…it's my job to keep you safe. This song tonight...is called "Sonic's Apology…"

(Cut to RITA in the VOTING BOOTH)

RITA

Sonic...never talk to me again…


(Cut back to the TRIBAL COUNCIL AREA. The HOST enters with the URN of VOTES and stands at his PODIUM)

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol and wants to play it…now would be the time to do so…

(A moment's pause. SONIC smiles and fishes into his KNAPSACK. He stands up and crosses over to the HOST. The OTHERS – even MARVIN – are completely horrified. SONIC turns to the OTHERS, oblivious to all of this)

SONIC

Yeah, I don't think I need this tonight…but I'm not taking any chances….

(SONIC crosses over and hands the IDOL to the HOST)

HOST

The rules of "Survivor" state that when a hidden immunity Idol is played, all votes cast for that person will not count. This is…

SONIC

(Picking up his GUITAR)

Hold up, hold up, I want to play my song now…

HOST

But Sonic, I'm not done—!

SONIC

(Strumming a few CHORDS)

Yeah, neither am I. I'm just getting started…

RITA

(Enraged)

Sonic, what the hell are you doing?

SONIC

(Turning to the OTHERS)

All right. I'm not, like, a touchy-feely kind of guy. I'm more like a go-and-getty kind of guy. But I've done some thinking. I made some mistakes. So…this song goes out to a special girl…and I hope she takes everything I say to heart…

CADPIG

(Astounded)

Wakko, hold my hand. I might throw up…

(SONIC strums the GUITAR and starts to sing)

SONIC

"Rita, I'm sorry.

Like a cheetah…that's also sorry.

Like pita bread…that's also sorry.

I hope we can still be friends…

Rita, I'm sorry."

(SONIC bows awkwardly. He stares at RITA and the OTHERS, waiting for a reaction. All their reactions are the same –their mouths hang open in shock. Even the HOST is astounded)

SONIC

(Finally speaking)

So…I…I really like the rhyme scheme I used-

HOST

Um, Sonic?

SONIC

(Turning to face the HOST)

Hey, I'm kind of in the middle of something, dude—

HOST

This is not a hidden immunity Idol…

(The HOST tosses the FAKE IMMUNITY IDOL into the FIRE. SONIC is left horrified, holding his GUITAR. He stares blankly out at the OTHERS)

RITA

Sonic, what are you doing?! I thought you tried to vote me out tonight—!

SONIC

I thought you were voting to save me—!

RITA

What?!

HOST

I will now read the votes…


FIRST VOTE

WAKKO

SECOND VOTE

WAKKO

THIRD VOTE

SONIC

FOURTH VOTE

SONIC

FIFTH VOTE

SONIC

Twelfth person voted out and the sixth member of our Jury…

SONIC


(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. WAKKO and CADPIG look concerned, realizing they were clearly out of the loop about something. MARVIN, suddenly, no longer looks triumphant. He looks frightened, almost like he'd like nothing more than to disappear. RITA stares at the VOTE, horrified, realizing what's happened)

RITA

Sonic, it was Marvin! He told me! Marvin convinced me to flip—!

SONIC

(Angry)

What, so you're just that paranoid?! You believed him?

RITA

Do you not believe me?

HOST

All vote discussions will be disallowed here until Final Tribal Council. Sonic, please, make your exit—

(SONIC rolls his eyes. He steps forward and hands RITA his GUITAR, giving it to her wordlessly. Then he storms over to the RACK, collecting his TORCH. He crosses over to the HOST and stands in front of him. The HOST holds the TORCH SNUFFER)

HOST

Sonic…the tribe has spoken…

(The HOST puts out SONIC's TORCH)

Time for you to go…

SONIC

(Turning back to the OTHERS)

All right guys, fifth place. No hard feelings. I had a good time. If you make it to the loser lodge party, I'll buy you a drink. Time for the hedgehog to high tail it…

(SONIC turns to walk down the HALLWAY, refusing to look at RITA. He vanishes into the dark and exits the game for good)

RITA

(To MARVIN)

So do you have anything to say for yourself?

(No response from MARVIN. He just stares out at the FIRE)

Hey- Marvin—

(MARVIN turns to face RITA. For a second, it seems like he's about to yell at her.. But when his voice comes out – something is different. For the first time, MARVIN sounds completely broken)

MARVIN

You…you got exactly what you deserved…

RITA

You just declared a war, buddy…

HOST

Throughout the game, you've shown different sides of yourself. You can play with your heart. You can play with your head. Tonight, we learned that emotional people can play logically…and logical people…when they're on the bottom…can be just as emotional. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp. Welcome to the Final Four…


VOTE TALLY


SONIC voted for WAKKO

MARVIN voted for WAKKO

RITA voted for SONIC

CADPIG voted for SONIC

WAKKO voted for SONIC


A/N: Oh, Sonic. The less I say about your game the better.

I'm happy he made it as far as he did. Sonic's an interesting example of people who enter Survivor with very limited awareness of the game. They come in not wanting to backstab anyone, relying on being nice to everybody, but it just ends up blowing up in their faces. With that being said, I liked writing Sonic. I think he had an interesting story. He was legitimately the only person that was nice to Rita (and he came in a time where she was really starting to behave differently) but it ended up being the exact reason he finally got voted out. I didn't always intend Sonic to be the comic relief of the story, but he kind of fell into that role. I guess when everyone's running around being strategic, the guy who's just floating around is where more of the humor's going to come from.

I think it was pretty clear that Sonic was never going to win, but I hope you enjoyed what he added to the story - especially since he had a really different point-of-view on the game than a lot of the other characters. The part where he got tricked by Wakko early on into inadvertently sending Norbert home was one of my favorite scenes in the story.

Stay tuned in the very near future for the finale! Rita, Marvin, Wakko, or Cadpig will become our Sole Survivor!