Anxious
AJ got home from the doctors later that night to dinner waiting on her at the table. She was thankful to have an extra hand around the house again. She didn't have to worry about taking Nova to the doctors with her, or constantly dropping her with Dan. Now Punk was back, things were a lot easier.
"Something smells good in here." AJ smiled, taking her coat off and taking her seat next to Nova who was already eating her dinner, avoiding the vegetables on the plate of course.
"Daddy can cook." Nova told her mother, happily surprised as AJ chuckled.
"He can." AJ smiled, kissing her head softly and smiling over at Punk.
"How did it go?" Punk asked her as she nodded.
"Fine. As usual." She nodded. Whilst she was at the doctors, Punk had time to sit and think about this new job offer. It might not have seemed like a big deal, considering the work load was probably going to be the same, with a little bit more pressure to stay on top of things, but it really was a big job title to have, not to mention the pay rise.
"How come mommy doesn't have carrots on her plate?" Nova sighed, "And I do." She groaned.
"Because mommy doesn't like carrots." Punk said as AJ nodded, "And you do."
"I don't." Nova shook her head.
"Yeah, you do, baby." AJ smiled down to her, "C'mon, don't be difficult." She said, sliding Nova's plate closer to her so she didn't spill much on the table, "You been thinking?" She turned back to Punk as they ate dinner.
"Yeah." Punk nodded, "I've been thinking a lot." He said.
"What are you thinking then?" AJ smiled curiously.
"I'm thinking the pay is gonna be great." Punk said as AJ looked across at him.
"Money can't buy happiness, Philip." AJ said.
"Actually, it can, April." Punk smiled back, "We can maybe save up for a house. With our own upstairs and downstairs. And a garden." He said as AJ smiled a little.
"What's wrong with our apartment?" AJ shook her head.
"Nothing is wrong with it but… don't you want our own house?" Punk asked her.
"Just because you get a job promotion doesn't mean we have to go buy a house and live in the suburbs." She laughed.
"I didn't say we had to." Punk said, "Are you ok?" He said as she nodded.
"I'm fine." AJ smiled, "I don't think you should take the job solely based on the money." AJ shook her head, "What if it's too much for you?" She said.
"I've spent the past four years doing nothing. I want a challenge. I want to do something new." He said, "I mean, it's still the same environment, isn't it? And Walter said he wanted me to take over his job." Punk smiled.
"So you want to do it?" AJ asked him.
"I wanna consider it, yeah." Punk nodded.
"You'd… You'd be my boss." AJ put her fork down as Punk shook his head, "I'm fucking my boss, that sounds great." AJ nodded as Punk turned to Nova wearily as AJ hadn't seemed to care to swear in front of her.
"Baby, take your plate over to the couch." Punk nodded to Nova.
"I'm not allowed to eat at the couch." Nova shook her head.
"You are now." Punk nodded, "On you go." He said as Nova jumped down from the chair and took her plate over to the couch to eat as Punk turned to AJ fiercely, "Why are you talking like that in front of her?" Punk hissed.
"Oh, please. She didn't even blink an eye." AJ shook her head.
"That's not the point, April." Punk said, "What's wrong? Did you have a bad day at the doctors?" He wondered.
"No. The doctors was fine." AJ said, "I just don't think you becoming the commissioner is the best idea." She shook her head.
"Why not?" Punk said.
"Well one, you're gonna have to go to out of town meetings a lot, two, you're gonna be my boss, three, it's a lot of work to take on, especially when you've done nothing for four years." She said as Punk sighed.
"Would you take it, if it was offered to you?" Punk asked her.
"No." AJ said, "Look, I'm not jealous if that's what you're thinking." AJ said, "I was offered Captain and I turned it down, remember?" AJ said, "I'm a detective and I'll stay a detective, but I'm scared that this is going to… take you away from me and I've just got you back and I'm not losing you again-" She raced on without taking a breath as Punk tried to keep up.
"Ok, Ok." Punk put his hands up, "Calm down. It's ok." He nodded as she took deep breaths, "Just take a breath and calm down." Punk nodded to her.
"I'm sorry I just…" She placed her hand on her forehead, pushing her plate away as Punk watched her.
"April, you don't have to be scared of losing me. I'm not going anywhere." Punk promised her, "And I'm not gonna be your boss. I'm just gonna be making sure we're all keeping on top of things. Walter never acted like a boss with us before." He pointed out to her as she nodded, "C'mon, you're getting yourself worked up over nothing here." He said.
"You'll be out of town a lot." AJ said, "What if you meet someone else or you don't wanna come back to us or-"
"April." Punk said sternly, "I'm not… I'm not Jacob. Ok?" Punk said as AJ looked across at him, "I'll be gone maybe a few times a month, and I'll be straight back the next day. I only ever want to be here with you and Nova, and that's not gonna change." He said, "I'm not gonna meet someone else." He screwed his eyes up.
He knew that she would be paranoid now, ever since losing him for four years, she perhaps wouldn't quite get used to the idea of him staying here forever, and would overthink everything into convincing herself she was going to lose him again. It was just who she was, and he just wanted to assure her that he wasn't going anywhere. They were a family here, and this promotion should have been something to celebrate.
He knew she wasn't trying to discourage him. She was just scared.
"What if it's too much for you?" AJ asked him quietly.
"I'm sure I'll be able to handle it." Punk smiled, "Don't worry about this, baby." He sighed.
"I don't want you to think I'm trying to hold you back." AJ sighed, "I support you in everything you do and you know that, but… I just don't want this to put any strain on our relationship. Especially when you've just gotten back and we're still trying to… be a family." AJ said as Punk nodded.
"I know. I know you're just worried." Punk said, "But how many times have you been worried about something that wound up turning out great?" He smiled, "Remember when you found out you were having Nova? You were terrified and worried and you didn't know what to do… and then look what happened." He smiled, nodding over to Nova who was sitting feeding her carrots to Ace as AJ looked over, placing her hand over her mouth.
"I said fuck in front of her." AJ gasped. She'd gone completely off the tracks in a mini panic episode, and completely forgot what she was saying.
"It's ok, it went over her head." Punk said, "I'd rather you tell me how you feel then say nothing." He nodded. He was glad she was talking to him about how she felt. He understood why she felt the way she did, and he just wanted to assure her that it'd be ok. She needed that assurance after four years of not having it.
"I want you to be happy." AJ nodded, "And I want you to do what you feel is right, but I just… I don't want work to come in between us."
"Has it ever come between us before?" Punk asked her as she shook her head, "Well then it's not gonna." He said, "How have you been feeling today? Give me a number." Punk said as she smiled.
He'd always used to ask her to give him a number of how her day had been. Little things like that, that showed he cared about her health just as much as she did. He'd always ask her at the end of every day, even when they were just friends and he would drop her off at the apartment.
"Um…" AJ shook her head, "A 4." She nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes, "Maybe a three." She swallowed the lump in her throat as he sighed, standing up and walking around the table to sit next to her.
"Is it because you're worried about me taking this job?" Punk asked her, taking her hands in his as she nodded. She knew her stress and worry was her biggest trigger when it came to her mental health, and it was enough to send her into a depressive or manic cycle. Not to mention, she'd ran out of meds.
"I just want things to be the way they used to be, before you went away." She nodded. He wasn't the only one having a hard time with settling back into life as a family. AJ was finding it tough too, to accept that things had changed and their lives had gone on for four years without one another. She wanted to rewind and make sure they didn't lose all that time, but they couldn't.
"Baby, it'll be even better." Punk nodded, cupping her cheeks, "We'll get back to working and doing the same thing we've always done. Only, I might be wandering around more, and I might have to go out of town once every so often." He said, "And I'm not gonna boss you around if that's what you think." He said as she laughed a little, "I'm not gonna boss anyone around. I'm just there to… keep things running smoothly." He said as she nodded.
He was really excited about the promotion, and he only wished AJ could be excited with him too. He was definitely considering taking it, it was something he never imagined happening, but he wouldn't do it without having AJ fully on board.
"You'll be great." AJ smiled to him, "You deserve this." She nodded. And he did. She truly believed it. She just wished she wasn't so anxious about it.
"I wanna make Walter proud. Fill in his shoes real good." Punk nodded as she smiled and nodded.
"He'll be proud of you." AJ smiled, "I trust you, I just… I don't want to be scared of losing you." She shook her head. It was a constant feeling she had, but she wouldn't say that to him.
"You're never losing me, unfortunately." Punk smiled, "Come here." He nodded as she shuffled over on her chair as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, "No job is tearing me away from my family. That's a promise." He said, "Please don't worry." He whispered as she hugged him tightly.
"I'll try not to." She sniffled as he kissed her head repeatedly whilst hugging her tightly.
"Any ideas how we can turn that three into… an eight at least?" Punk asked her as she smiled.
"A bath with candles, some cake, a movie." She said.
"We can make that happen." Punk whispered, kissing her forehead as she smiled whilst Nova came back over with her empty plate, sitting it down on the table, "Hey, see you do like carrots." Punk nodded.
"No, Ace ate them." Nova smiled, running off as AJ and Punk smiled, turning around to look at Ace who was lying licking his lips as they laughed.
"He's gonna get fat." Punk turned back to AJ who smiled, "I'll go run you a bath-" He went to stand up when AJ took a hold of his hand.
"I meant a bath with you." AJ said as Punk raised his brows.
"Oh." He smiled, watching as she stood up.
"Later." She smirked, taking the plates away from the table as he smiled watching her.
A/N: Let me know what you think! Will the job come between them?
