Alright loves, I'm back again with a new one for ya! I quite love this one, its all cute and what not, so I hope you like it too. To all of you out there, Happy New Year, stay safe, and most importantly, Have Fun!
As always, ENJOY!
4 months later... June
I walk out of the bathroom feeling refreshed and ready for the day. Today is Saturday, and Angela's sixty eighth birthday. We are having everyone come over for a celebration for her later today around three. Jane isn't in our room so she must be downstairs getting breakfast ready. I walk into my en-suite closet, wrapped in just a towel, in search of the perfect outfit for today's celebration. Of course the perfect outfit starts with the perfect undergarments so I head in that direction first.
As I reach into my underwear drawer for the little black lace panty and bra set I know Jane loves on me, I feel strong arms envelope me from behind. Instantly Jane's warm mouth is on my neck, nipping and sucking, while her left hand moves to loosen my towel. It falls to the floor and pools around my feet. I have no time to register what's happening before Jane's very skilled left hand is cupping my core, and her right is massaging my breast. In no time her fingers have pushed between my folds, gathering lubricant from the abundance that has formed there. She brings it up to circle around my aching clit, causing me to moan. The complete and utter surprise of her attack has me so aroused, I know I won't last long at all.
"Jane!" I cry out when she suddenly pinches my bundle of nerves between her fingers, sending a jolt of pleasure shooting through me.
"I've been wanting to fuck you all morning Maur. I almost hopped in the shower with you and took you against the wall." She growls into my ear, making my knees go weak.
"I like this much better though, fucking you in the closet while you attempt to get dressed. I saw what you were reaching for, you naughty girl." She husks, at the exact same time as she removes her hand from my breast and grabs the black lace material, bringing it up to show me. Her voice, with its deep timber and edge, is turning me on immensely. I can hardly hold myself up at this point, and with her speaking to me this way, acting as though I'm a bad girl needing to be punished, is truly making me feel naughty.
In my lack of response, she drops the lace material and reaches for my breast, pinching my extremely sensitive nipple, gaining my attention as I cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure. "Jane!"
"You know what these do to me." She husks again, and I find myself unable to respond to her. My heavy pants are all that fills the silence, mixed with the wet sounds of Jane's fingers between my legs. She hasn't even penetrated my yet, and I'm already a complete mess, figuratively and literally. At my lack of response once more, she removes her hand and spins me around to face her. She gives me a devilish grin before attacking my lips with her own, giving me a bruising kiss, and dips two fingers into my aching womanhood.
I cry out against her lips, suddenly finding my wits enough to wrap my arms around her neck and kiss her back. Jane pumps me a few times before once again removing her fingers, leaning down, and scooping me up by my rear. I squeal as she moves us from the closet out into the bedroom, taking sweet care to place me on the bed lovingly, which is rather out of character from the way she was just handling me in the closet, and resumes kissing me.
"Jane, I want to feel you." I manage to moan out between kisses, and I know she knows exactly what I want. With a seductive smile she lays on her side next to me, moving me to face her. We get our legs situated with little difficulty, and once our cores touch, Jane moves up to brace herself with her right arm. We both moan out in pleasure as she begins to move, our swollen clits rubbing deliciously together.
"Oh god baby, yesss!" She cries out, her head falling back in ecstasy, her eyes closing shut as well. It is only now that I realize Jane has been naked this whole time. I was so distracted before that I didn't even notice. She had this planned out perfectly, waiting for me to finish my shower and start her attack. This revelation turns me on even more, if that was at all possible, and I reach my hand up to grab Jane's left breast, kneading and massaging. Her hard nipple is rubbing against the palm of my hand, and I swear I can hear her purring as I do this. That familiar tightening is quickly building in my stomach, and I know I won't last much longer.
"Baby I'm close." I pant out to Jane before reaching for her right breast, wanting to pay it equal attention. I tug and pull on her nipple, something I know will help her achieve orgasm much quicker, and before she even has the chance to tell me she's close too, her body goes rigid and she screams out my name as she climaxes. Seeing her in the throws of passion drives me over the edge and I come in a white hot blaze of intense pleasure. I feel Jane collapse on top of me after a few seconds, and I lazily wrap my arms around her. Our sweaty bodies are sticking together as we lay in a hot mess, all the effort I just put into my shower wasted, but I could care less. The orgasm I just had was so powerful, and so spontaneous, that I feel as if I'm floating on a cloud.
"My god Maur, that was amazing." Jane husks against my ear minutes later, her voice raspy from our activities. I give her body a squeeze with my arms and kiss the top of her head before responding.
"That was simply amazing Jane. I haven't cum like that in a while. The spontaneity of the whole thing is what made it so intense." I tell her, my voice filled with wonder and amazement.
"Well I live to serve my dear." Jane says playfully, lifting herself from my body, the cold of the air hitting my exposed skin sending a shiver down my spine. I rake my eyes over Jane's now exposed body and can't help but be amazed. She still has her amazingly tight abs and her breasts are still rather firm, although they have lost some firmness, as time will do, and her womanhood is clean shaven and moist, looking as delicious as ever. This woman still turns me on to no end, and I simply love it.
"Again Maur, really? We just had mind blowing sex, and you're looking at me like you want to eat me, pun intended." She says with a chuckle, gaining my attention with the rich timber of her laugh. I blush as her gaze scrutinizes me, albeit playfully.
"What? I can't help that you turn me on constantly. You're just so gorgeous, and when you slowly climb off of me with your tight, soft, glistening body, I can't help but stare and become aroused." I tell her matter-of-factually. She gives me a devilish smile, and the next thing I know she's molding her naked body to mine once more, planting a passionate kiss upon my lips, shutting off all of my brain power other than the amount required to preform acts of a sexual nature.
After making love two more times, Jane and I finally pry ourselves from the bed and head towards the shower, both needing to wash the evidence of our sexual activities from our bodies. I'm rather glad that Angela asked to take the kids last night as a pre-birthday grandmother/grandkids sleepover celebration (her words not mine), giving Jane and I the alone time we needed to thoroughly enjoy our morning.
"Is it bad that I want to hop back in bed and take you some more?" Jane asks as she's toweling her hair dry. She has on a pair of black skinny jeans, that her ass looks simply divine in, and a silky red button up blouse, not yet buttoned up, showing off the white tank underneath. Her feet are bare, as is her face, and her hair is wet. In other words, she's the most beautiful woman on this earth to me. I give her a playful smile as I reach for the brush on the counter in the bathroom, where I'm currently getting ready.
"No, because I feel the same way, but we need to get on with the day. There's lots that need to be done before your mother shows up with the children." I tell her, resuming the routine of doing my hair. Jane saunters into the bathroom, wet towel in hand, and tosses it in the hamper before coming to stand behind me. We make eye contact in the mirror as she wraps her arms around my waist, leaning in to kiss the side of my neck that is exposed.
"Let's call and tell her to keep the kids for the rest of the day so you and I can get naked and hop back into bed together." She husks against my ear before nibbling it. My hips shoot forward slightly of their own accord, the nibble to the ear having sent a jolt of pleasure through me. Jane has a triumphant grin on her face, as she gets the desired reaction out of me. She starts to lift up the hem of my blouse, reaching for the zipper to my skirt, before I come to my senses and slap her hand away. I step to the side, just out of her reach, and glare at her.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli-Isles, you keep the naughty business to yourself for the rest of the night. This is your mother's birthday, and she deserves to have a wonderful party and be surrounded by loved ones." I scold, even going as far as to rest my hands on my hips. She gives me an incredulous look before smiling a genuinely happy smile, giving me a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth, and walking out of the bathroom. I stare after her in confusion before shrugging my shoulders and resuming my routine.
It takes me another 45 minutes before I'm ready to head downstairs. As I emerge at the bottom of the steps I see Jane in the kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee and reading the paper. She looks up at me with a smile before drinking the rest of her beverage down, turning and setting it in the sink, and making her way around the counter to meet me. She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls our hips to rest against each other, looking down into my eyes with a soft smile.
"You look simply beautiful my dear." She says before leaning down to give me a soft kiss. My hands instinctively go up to tangle in the soft black curls at the base of her neck as we kiss for a few minutes. We break for air and Jane rests her forehead against mine, allowing us to just stand in peaceful harmony together here in the kitchen.
"Not that I want to break this moment, but we really should get going if we want to finish our errands on time for the party later." Jane says after a few minutes, breaking the silence and our embrace. I nod my head at her, trying to clear my mind of the relaxed state it had entered upon our embrace.
"Of course. Much to do before your mother arrives. We need the cake, the decorations. Oh my god, I forgot about her present!" I suddenly exclaim, now realizing that because of my busy work schedule this week I failed to go to the store and purchase Angela her gift.
"Already taken care of babe. I knew you were busy this week so I went ahead and took care of it for you. The kids and I actually went and got it together. They helped me pick them out." She says with a smile, and I let the breath I had been holding go, instantly relaxing at this news.
"Oh thank goodness. What did you end up getting her?" I ask, suddenly curious as to what they chose.
"Oh you'll love this. So Luke thought that it would be fun to learn how to bake from his Nona, so we bought all the necessary ingrediants for her famous cannoli, along with new baking materials like bowls, measuring cups and utensils. Bella wants Nona to make her a blanket, so we got her a gift card to Joannes, so they can pick our materials and make a blanket together. Now I know that technically these seem like gifts for the kids, but I know Ma will love getting to do these activities with them, and have those memories, so yea." She says, clearly not picking up on the giant smile on my face. I absolutely love the gift ideas my children came up with, and Jane's enthusiasm and excitement for her mother to be able to do them.
"Honey, those are great gifts, and your mother will absolutely love them." I say happily, earning a smile from my beautiful detective.
"So that's one check off of our list. Let's get going so we can go pick up the cake." I say, taking her hand and leading her towards the door, grabbing my purse on the way out.
"Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, look!" Bella cries out to me as I attempt to get the mess from cake and ice cream cleaned up off of the kitchen counters. I look over at her and she's got her tiara crown on her head, and she's wearing her pink princess dress she received last Christmas. Once she notices me looking, she does a cute little twirl, followed by hand gestures and a few dances steps before ending with her arms thrown in the air dramatically. She's looking at me expectantly, waiting for my praise.
"That was wonderfully honey, why don't you go show your mama?" I suggest to her, and her face lights up before she takes off towards the living room, where Jane and everyone else is seated. I hear her calling out to her mama the whole way over to her.
Suddenly a brown object comes flying into my kitchen, bouncing off of the chairs before coming to rest around the counter at my feet. I look down and see my son's dirty football resting against my very expensive, brand new designer Louboutin Mea Culpa Suede High-back Collar pumps. I barely have time to register this before my nephew T.J. comes barreling in the door from outside in search of said football. He spots me with a disgruntled look on my face, and peers down to find the football resting against my heel.
T.J. is a smart boy and he knows about my love for nice clothes and shoes, so when he sees the ball resting against my heel he quickly rushes over to remove it, looking up at me apologetically once the ball in back in his possession.
"Sorry Aunt Maura." He gets out before taking off back outside to continue playing football with my son. Upon inspection I find nothing wrong with the heels, making me feel instantly better about the whole thing. I hear a loud commotion coming from the living room so I head that way to find out what's going on. I have to smile when I reach the back of the couch and spot my daughter, front and center in the living room, dancing for the whole family who is watching with rapt fascination. The coffee table has been moved out of the way and Jane has retrieved the karaoke machine from the hall closet. Bella looks absolutely adorable as she stands in front of her family, performing for them all with a giant smile on her face. She definitely loves the attention.
"That's my girl!" Jane calls out, watching with a giant smile of her own at our daughter holds everyone's attention. I walk over and wrap my arm around her waist, receiving a kiss from her before we turn our attention back to Bella. She's twirling and bouncing in place, singing her own words to go along with the random tune Jane has chosen for her, and despite the fact that it all makes no sense, everyone is getting a good kick out of it. Once her performance comes to an end, she comes bouncing over to us, and right into my arms.
"Mommy, mama! I singed and danced!" She exclaims enthusiastically. Both Jane and I giggle at her excitement, and I plant a sweet kiss on her cheek. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek right back, holding the kiss against me over-dramatically, breaking it with a "mwah" sound.
"Your song and dance was beautiful baby, good job!" I say encouragingly.
"Your moms right baby girl, very well done. The whole family loved it." Jane says, adding her own encouragement. Bella beams at us both, giggling when her uncle Frankie comes up and takes her out of my arms, tickling her sides playfully.
"Unca Fankie, stop!" She screams out at the tickle attack, flailing dramatically, attempting to get out of his grasp. Her giant smile and barely there attempt at getting free suggests that she is having fun, and in fact does not want him to stop.
"You little potato bug, you're trying to steal my thunder?" He growls at her playfully before moving in to pretend to eat her neck, causing her to scream out once more. She finally wiggles free enough that Frankie is forced to set her down, and she immediately takes off running away from him. He's about to rush after her but Sarah grabs his arm and gives him a look. She leans in and whispers something in his ear, causing his facial expressions to turn serious. He reaches down and touches her 9 month pregnant stomach, caressing it lovingly. A moment later he calls out to the whole family, gaining everyones attention.
"Hey guys, Sarah and I have something that we want to say." He waits for all to quiet and everyone to look at him. He takes Sarah's hand and looks at her lovingly before addressing the room.
"As you all know, Sarah was due a week and a half ago, but our little angel has yet to grace us with her presence, so we've decided to induce labor. We're headed to the hospital tomorrow to get the ball rolling, so to speak." He says, looking very excited, but rather nervous all in one. The room breaks out in congratulations, everyone taking turns hugging Sarah and Frankie both, myself and Jane included.
"That's great little brother. I'm so excited for you to finally become a father. And now we'll have another gorgeous little Rizzoli girl running around." Jane says to her brother, clapping him on the back in support.
"Yay! Girl cousin!" Bella calls out, running up to Sarah and touching her stomach lovingly.
"Hi girl, we's gonna be fwiends." She talks sweetly to Sarah's stomach, leaning in the kiss it, before running off as quickly as she had come. Everyone laughs and coos at how adorable that was before resuming their questions and congratulations towards the soon-to-be parents. Jane wraps me up in her arms again, pulling me close and kissing the top of my head.
"I'm so happy for him. He deserves this, and I know he'll make a great dad. And Sarah will be a great mom." She says to me, a content and happy smile on her face.
"Do you wish we had more kids?" I suddenly ask, not being able to stop the question, and not really knowing where it came from either. She looks down at me with a confused look on her face.
"What?"
"Do you wish we had more?" I ask again, and she shakes her head at me.
"No, I know what you said. I'm confused why you're asking. Are you not happy with just Luke and Bella?" She asks, turning this back around to me.
"I don't know. Honestly, I have no idea where that question came from. I love our kids, don't think that I don't, but I think a part of me would like to have one more." I say, looking off towards the fire place, letting my thoughts roam.
"I don't-" A pain filled scream suddenly fills the room, breaking me from my thoughts. I look over to find Sarah crouched over in pain, holding her stomach, and its now that I can see a dark spot on her pants, likely indicating that her water has just broken. I instantly go into doctor mode, rushing over to her while instructing Jane to take care of her brother, who is naturally acting like the worried husband he is.
I get to work assessing Sarah, asking about her pain level, trying to ascertain if any contractions have begun. I instruct Jane to head up to our room and grab a pair of my old maternity pants and bring them down so Sarah can change, before grabbing a towel and setting it down on the couch so she can sit.
"Ow, oh this is unexpected, ugh!" Sarah tries to talk between bouts of pain. Frankie is looking at her with worry etched all over his face.
"Do we go to the hospital now Maura?" He asks me.
"Well her water breaking isn't immediate cause to head to the hospital. Typically you would wait until her contractions are about five minutes apart. So far it's just been the one so we'll need to monitor when more come." I tell him, glancing at my watch to ascertain the timing. Jane now comes up behind me and hands me the pants silently. I take them and give her a grateful smile.
"Would you like to head into the bathroom with Frankie so he can help get you changed?" I ask her, handing Frankie the pants that Jane just handed me. He takes them wordlessly, and rests his hand protectively on his wife's shoulder. Sarah nods her head, reaching out for Frankie, taking hold of his forearm with a tight grip. I help them get to the bathroom, instructing Frankie on what to do, before leaving them to it. I turn back around to find the whole family staring at me expectantly. I head over to Jane and allow her to envelope me into a tight embrace.
"Good job doctor. Way to handle the situation." Jane says to me proudly, following it up with a kiss to the top of my head. Slowly everyone starts talking again, waiting for the couple to return from the bathroom. Minutes later Frankie's head pops out from the bathroom, looking worriedly straight at me. I catch his eye and look at him expectantly as I make my way over slowly.
"Hey, could you come in here for a moment?" He asks, and he sounds nervous. I nod my head and walk past him into the bathroom. Sarah is resting against the sink counter, a pained expression on her face. She's changed into the pants, but her posture and facial expression have me worried.
"So I don't know if this sounds weird, but I was wondering if you would smell Sarah's underpants?" Frankie asks me in a hushed and embarrassed voice. Without thought I reach down and retrieve the article, inspecting the slightly brown color staining the bottom of the lining. I don't have to move my face much closer to catch a wiff of an odor that should not be there.
So as not to alarm either father or mother, I set them back on the floor and move to attend to Sarah. She hunches over in pain right as I reach her, instantly taking my shoulder in a vice like grip. I wince slightly in pain, but push past it, inserting myself into doctor mode. I turn my attention to Frankie, giving him the most serious look I can muster.
"Okay Frankie, I don't want you to panic but we need to get her to the hospital right away. I have reason to believe an infection has developed and we need to get her taken care of. Her contractions are coming faster than expected as well, meaning this baby is fast on her way. Help me get her out of here, and we need to remain calm so we don't set off a panic throughout the house." I tell him, and he nods his head in understanding. He may be a panicked husband about to become a father, but he's still a trained officer and he knows how to handle stressful situations, for which I am very grateful.
"Alright Sarah, he we go. Just hold on the Frankie and I as hard as you need to. We're here for you." I tell her calmly as we begin to make our way out of the bathroom. Jane is standing right next to the door when we emerge. We make eye contact and she nods her head at me, understanding immediately to get her cruiser ready to go. She disappears and my eyes next search out Angela. She comes rushing up to us, a panicked look on her face.
"Angela, we need to get Sarah to the hospital, this baby is coming fast. Can you gather Lucas and Bella and meet us there?" I ask her, and she nods, heading off to find my children. Jane has the car on and waiting, the back door open to the cruiser so we can enter easily. She shuts the door behind us and runs around to the drivers side, getting in, flipping on her lights, and taking off towards the hospital.
"Well it's official, I'm a dad." Frankie says, suddenly walking into the waiting room, where the whole family is seated. Jane jumps up and rushes to him, enveloping him into a tight hug. Frankie looks exhausted, but he's beaming at the same time, which makes me so very happy.
"Little Emilia Francesca Rizzoli has made her journey into the world." He announces proudly, and the room erupts in applause before he's bombarded with hugs, kisses and questions, as well as congratulations. It's such a joyous moment for our family, we've now grown by one more, and we all can't wait to meet her. Jane looks over at me and gives me a loving smile. I blow her a kiss in return and she blushes at the mushy show of affection, but does nothing to hide her love of it.
Shortly after Frankie's appearance, we take turns heading back to see the new bundle of joy, and I'm able to confirm the health of her mother, who aside from being completely exhausted, is doing great. The infection was small and they have her on antibiotics so she'll be great in no time, ready to enjoy the wonders of motherhood.
Jane and I leave shortly after seeing Emilia, Bella having fallen asleep from all the excitement, and Lucas follows her lead as he falls asleep in the car on the ride home. Jane carries him up to bed as I do the same with Bella, and soon we are curled up together in our bed, calming down from our hectic day. Jane is rubbing soft circles on my back, and I'm tracing random patterns on her tank top clad stomach, both of us lost in thought.
"I'm so happy for Frankie. He deserves this, the beautiful wife with the amazing child. And Emilia, oh my god she's a gorgeous baby. I'd say she's second only to Bella, who of course is the most gorgeous little girl that you ever did see." I have to chuckle at this, lifting my head up to look at her with a smile.
"Of course she is, she came from you." I say and Jane blushes. For some unknown reason she still blushes when I compliment her beauty. I strive on facts, I'm a doctor, I live by science, and believe me when I say, that my wife is model worthy. If she wasn't such a good detective, I would insist she actually be a model. So I really don't understand how she doesn't think the same, but I know it nonetheless.
"I love you Maura." She suddenly says, deep serious emotion in her voice and eyes. I instantly feel our deep connection pull me in, and I couldn't break our eye contact if I wanted to.
"I truly am the luckiest woman on the face of this earth to have you and our kids. Lucas and Bella are so very lucky to have you as their mother. The way you handled everything today, you were amazing. You kept everyone in check and calm, especially Frankie, who I thought for sure would lose it in a situation like that, but you didn't let him. You helped a magic moment happen today, you are truly magnificent." She says to me, and now its my turn to blush. I momentarily break our eye contact, my face falling against her chest. I can feel her heartbeat against my cheek, reminding me of how alive and real she is, and how real this moment is. We both are truly blessed.
"I love you too Jane." I say before leaning up and connecting my lips with hers in a sweet, passionate kiss.
"And then Tee jay cames and giveded me his last m&n, and I says tank you!" Bella tells me in excitement as she plays with my soft honey curls, sitting safely in my lap. We've been sitting together on the couch for about ten minutes now while she tells me about her day. I only got home half an hour ago, and Bella demanded my attention almost immediately. Jane and Lucas are in the kitchen making their rendition of breakfast for dinner, so I'm capitalizing on this time to bond with my daughter.
"That's great honey, I'm so glad T.J. wanted to share with you. And you're a good girl for saying thank you." I respond, reaching up to tuck her equally honey blonde hair behind her ear. She gives me a giant grin, her famous one, before launching into another story about Lucas not sharing his Lego's earlier and mama having to make him so she wouldn't be left out. I listen with rapt attention, genuinely wanting to know about her day, when she stops talking and looks at my neck curiously. She touches the spot where I have a small scar from my run in with Hoyt before looking up at me.
"What happened mommy?" She asks me, looking concerned.
"Mommy got hurt baby, but that was a long time ago, I'm okay now." I say, not knowing how to explain what really happened to an almost three year old. I hope she takes my answer and accepts it, but I'm not that lucky today.
"You gots hurt? How? Did mama saves you?" She asks, and it's almost crazy how smart she is, and she doesn't even know it. She tilts her head in the most precious way as she waits for my answer, and I can't help but smile at her adorableness.
"She did baby, mama saved me, just like she always does."
"Is mama you night?" She asks me, twirling some of my hair again.
"What baby?" I ask, confused as to what she means.
"Is mama you shiny night?" She asks again, and it takes me a minute to gather what she's asking. When it finally clicks I smile wide and giggle, imagining Jane sitting atop a white horse, encased in an armer of shiny metal, holding her hand out to me as her wild dark raven curls blow in the breeze.
"She is baby girl, mama is my knight in shining armer, or more accurately my dame." I tell her proudly, and Bella giggles at my answer, resuming her exuberance in playing with my hair. After a moment her little hands leave my hair and start to rub softly over my stomach. I watch her curiously, as her face is scrunched up in concentration. When she looks up at me, her eyes are filled with intense curiosity, and I know her next question won't be the easiest to answer.
"Mommy, is you grow'in a baby in your tummy like auntie Sawah?" She asks, genuinely wondering if I have a baby in my stomach. Her question catches me off guard and I have no idea how to answer. I was not expecting anything of the sort, and honestly her question makes me think. Do I want another baby? Physically speaking it would be rather challenging, and high risk for me to get pregnant again. I am forty five years old, I would say that my child bearing years are basically over, but the need is slowly starting to build within me again. Is two kids enough for me?
"Mommy?" Bella asks, poking my cheek and breaking me from my thoughts. I look at her questioningly before remembering that I still need to answer her.
"No honey, I'm not carrying a baby in my tummy like aunt Sarah was." Her face falls at my answer, before perking up again.
"Is mama?" She asks, and I note the hope in her voice. Sadly I have to crush that hope.
"No sweetheart, your mama isn't carrying a baby either. It was just aunt Sarah." Her face falls once more, and it makes my heart hurt. I had no idea that Bella wished for a younger sibling. I want to believe that it's just the baby fever hitting because of Emilia's birth, but who knows for sure. She's got us all on a baby kick now.
"Alright my beautiful ladies, dinner is served." Jane says from behind me, breaking up our mommy daughter moment. Bella hops off of my lap and makes her way into the kitchen to take her seat at the table, always the eager one to eat food. Jane looks at me with concern as I stand to follow, and wraps me up in her strong arm as I pass her.
"Is everything okay?" She asks, and I nod my head.
"Yes we're fine. Bella and I were just having a bit of a serious discussion. I'll tell you more about it tonight in bed." I say, effectively ending the conversation so we can enjoy dinner as a family, and not worry about what ifs and questions of the future.
"So you wanna tell me what you and Bella were talking about earlier?" Jane asks me later as we lay cuddled together in bed. I take a moment in answering her, wanting to gather my thoughts before I do. I feel as if this conversation will become very serious, and I need to be prepared.
"She asked me if I was carrying a baby in my tummy like Sarah was, and she was rather disappointed when I told her that I was not." I finally say, pausing a moment before continuing.
"And I have to admit that I was sad too. I don't know if it's just the fact that Emilia is here, that we all have baby on the brain, but it made me wish we had another child." I hold my breath as I wait for Jane's response. I don't have to wait long.
"Are you saying that you want us to try for another baby?" She asks in a quiet voice.
"I don't feel it wise for us to try for another baby. We are too far along in age. There is too much risk involved for either of us to attempt a pregnancy. And that's not what I want. Honestly, I never thought I would be where I am now, married with two children. You, Lucas and Isabella are my world. I just let the baby thing go to my head, and Bella will be fine. She'll get to be a big cousin to Emilia. Those two will have lots of fun and adventures together." I say, attempting to convince Jane and myself that I am with about not having another child.
"We could always adopt." Jane says, and I knew she would. She's right, we could adopt, and there are a lot of children out there who need loving homes, but for some unknown reason, the idea doesn't really appeal to me. It could very well be my own situation of being adopted, and not every feeling like I fit in, or that I belonged. I wouldn't want to have my child feel that way about themselves.
"Adoption can be hard Jane. And we both are getting older, do we really feel like we could take on another child? Bella is already enough of a handful."
"Okay, we don't have to talk about it right now. I do however, think that we should visit this topic again in the near future. I'd love to talk more about this with you after we've both had time to think, and have gotten a good nights rest." Jane says, giving me a squeeze with her arms that are wrapped around me.
"Okay."
"I love you Maur." Jane whispers after a few minutes of silence.
"Love you too." I mumble back, feeling the exhaustion from the day overtake me, causing me to drift slowly off to sleep.
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