Chapter 28
"How's she doing?" Sasha asked him as he walked back toward the rest of them, leaving Michelle on her own at the other hand of the vast, empty floor, pacing like an animal in a cage.
Daryl considered what to say; how much of what he knew about the situation was he could he share before breaking her confidence and if he was to keep some secrets, could they danger them and their mission. Looking over his shoulder at her, at how angry with herself she was, he figured that her actions were revealing as much, if not more, than whatever he could tell them.
"Not so hot," he admitted in a low voice, looking back at Sasha and her brother. "She's pissed off at herself for drifting off... Not a surprise though. She hasn't slept in days." That last bit at slipped out, and both their expressions made it clear that it needed more details, and so with a sigh, he gave a short explanation. "She made it a long time without having to kill anybody living, and in the past four days she had to kill two. It's taking its toll."
At this point, he didn't know if being here, in her current state, was the best thing for her or for the mission really. He couldn't just tell her to stay behind while they went to Grady to make the trade when Rick would return with the third guy, but at same time, he couldn't help but worry that if she kept going down that path, she could become a liability. He tried to keep his face as neutral as possible as those thoughts raced through his mind, but it still appeared to betray him and reveal, at least in part, how worried he was about her.
"I'll go talk to her," Sasha mentioned, pushing herself up from the chair where she'd been sitting. "She's not the only one who screwed up back there..."
As she crossed the space to go talk Michelle, Daryl turned back to the two cops they still had and he hoped Rick would be back with the third one soon. A three against two trade would still be the best option, especially if as Noah said, that Dawn woman was trying to appear in control in front of her people; she would be able to act as if she got the best of them and had been able to get all three of them back safely which could be a good point for her with the rest of her crew. Unfortunately, he had a feeling with how long it was taking Rick to return that they may not have that option anymore. It would likely be two for two, and if that wasn't good enough, they'd have to get Beth and Carol back the hard way.
By the time they heard footsteps coming in from outside, Sasha had managed to talk Michelle into join back with the group instead of beating herself up at the other end of the warehouse. She'd stopped pacing too, but she'd also been avoiding his eyes and the one time he did catch them, he was able see how ashamed she was of what had happened and he wished he could think of the right words to help her.
The footsteps resonated louder and louder, but the echo made it impossible, even for him, to figure out if there was one or two sets of feet heading up the stairs. Coming around the corner, Rick reappeared, alone. He headed over to him, to see if the plan still stood or if they were going back to the drawing board on this one. Rick explained in few details what had happened to Lamson and how this had to change the plan, but he just had to convince him that they'd just take a chance with the two they still had. He couldn't deny that every minute they were spending in here was making him more and more anxious about Beth and Carol. He just hoped they were both okay...
"...maybe we gotta rethink this," Rick told him, and in that moment he wondered if maybe he was right, but the thought of going in guns blazing now wasn't as appealing as it had seemed before; not only did he worry Michelle's psyche might break if she had take down one more living person but, most importantly what if bullets went flying and Beth or Carol got caught in the crossfire? They simply couldn't risk something like that. Even if they decided to use only their knives, those other Grady cops wouldn't be playing by the same rules.
"They also said that the cop in charge didn't have any love for him," he reminded Rick. "Maybe you did her a favor."
They still didn't know if their two hostages would play along with all this, especially with their friend dead, but the only way to find out was to head over there and ask. If they said no, they'd rethink the plan, if they said yes, they'd have to take a chance with this one.
They got their answer quickly though, as soon as the woman opened her mouth, talking about how Lamson had been a good man and how she'd seen him being attacked by walkers. She was a good liar too, and in this case, it could be an advantage or a disadvantage. Was she lying to them now? She'd been against the trade from the get-go and now she was ready to play ball... Maybe she just wanted to survive, or maybe she was planning to warn her people as soon as they were in earshot. From what she was saying though, she too simply didn't want this to turn into a repeat of the O.K. Corral.
Rick turned to the other guy, the one who'd tried to take him out earlier and who'd been silent for most of the time he'd been tied up. He told them some more information about their leader and how she'd think she was getting rip-off if she thought Rick had taken out one of her cops. In his peripheral vision, he saw Michelle running her hands through her hair, obviously still blaming herself for Lamson making it as far outside as he had. But, then the big, bald officer surprised them all as he told them that, it was just their luck that the sergeant had been taken out by walkers.
They were both willing to play ball and now, it was time to put things in motion.
Daryl had checked on her again, before they lead their two hostages up onto the roof; he didn't say that he was worried about her but it was written all over his face. She'd felt horrible about that, they should be focused on what was about to happen and not on possibility that she might crack at the sight of a dead body. She had assured him that she would be okay, that when they would all return to the church, she would get some sleep. He'd smiled at that, telling her that he would make sure to shake her if anything happened and she'd found herself smiling back at him. With some luck, maybe having Beth back would help to mostly keep the nightmares at bay as it had when she'd first joined them. She had to hold on to that, to the fact soon enough, Beth would be back with them, their own living beacon of hope. She would never be able to tell her all that she represented to her, heck, the pretty blonde probably thought her a little mad after her admission of how much she reminded her of Ellie. But she couldn't help it, from the moment she'd heard Beth speak, not even to her, but to Daryl as she'd watched them from the bushes around the moonshiner's house, something had resonated with her, making her feel as if she was some sort of echo of the sister she'd lost way too soon.
She stood on the roof, her new machete held tightly in her fist, the waiting definitely the worst part of the whole plan. Waiting for the cops to get to Noah, waiting for to see if Rick came back with Lamson, and now waiting for the other cops to arrive at the vantage point where Rick was standing. It felt like all she'd done today was waiting, she was starting to itch for something to happened, circling the two cops at her feet like a vulture to the point where Tyreese rested a hand on her arm to get her to stop. After that she stood still.
Daryl spotted another car from GMH, and Rick was made aware of their approach. Finally something was happening. Soon, they'd have Beth and Carol back and they could start heading to D.C., watch Eugene try and patch the word back into the way it used to be, and even if she didn't think it would work, they could still rebuild new lives there. Maybe she would take Daryl and Beth to New York, show them the place she'd called home for years since neither of them had been there before. Sure, it wouldn't be the Big Apple it used to be, but it would still be nice to see it again, to walk the streets she used to love with her companions at her side. Maybe Maggie and Glenn would tag along too. Hope truly was a beautiful thing.
They watched anxiously as Rick made contact with the men in the cruiser, watched him lay down his Colt but kept the stained red handled machete that had once been hers on his belt. She glanced at Daryl and Sasha, the two of them keeping the cops in their scopes, in case anything happened. She couldn't help but find them impressive in their strength when she felt so weak when it came to death. Of course, she could take down walkers without blinking an eye, but living, breathing people, that was different.
They all wished they could hear what was being said below, to know if those men would help them get their people back or become problems they had to deal with. The tension in the air made it harder to breath, everyone on the roof seemed to be taking shorter, faster breathes as they watched for a development.
Things moved quickly after that, the men contacted Grady from their cruiser and moments later, Rick was calling them on the radio, telling them to come down. As a sign of good faith, Rick and one of the hostages sat in the back of the police cruiser while the rest of them followed in the van and soon enough, they were all unloading in front of the hospital. Dodging the dead ones as they followed the cops to a side door and began climbing up stairs after stairs. With each step, her heart beat faster. They were almost there and soon, they would have Beth back. She looked over at Daryl, trying to control the probably goofy-looking smile on her lips as trepidation took over her, but her efforts were obviously in vain as he silently scoffed at her. She couldn't help it though, just a few more steps down the darkened corridors and her surrogate sister would be back with them. She wouldn't fail this time!
She couldn't see what was waiting ahead, past the closed set of doors, but she had a feeling she knew it was exactly what it was regardless, most likely than not, armed men and women pointing guns at them. They heard a call on the radio to holster their weapons and on Rick's signal, they did. The cops in front of them opened the doors and just like that, everything else around her seemed to face away and all she could see was the petite blonde who she cared so much for. She knew it was crazy, and ridiculous and a plethora of other adjectives but she couldn't help the swelling of her heart as she saw her.
Words were exchanged about Lamson and what had happened to him but she could barely hear them, it all seemed like white noise until the woman in charge said it was time for the first exchange. Daryl lead the big, bald one forward as one of the GMH guards pushed Carol's wheelchair to them. As her friend took control of the chair and wheeled Carol back to their rank, she let out a sigh of relief. One down, one to go and so far, so good.
Her eyes met Beth's as that Dawn woman began walking her over to their side, and Michelle couldn't help the smile that light up her face. One moment later, she was safely next to Rick, back to them. They'd done, they'd gotten her back and everything would be fine now. Daryl placed a hand upon Beth's back as she linked her arm with their returned companion. Their little trio was back together and now, it felt like she could take on the world.
"...now I just need Noah." Those words cut through all of them like an iced knife. This wasn't part of the deal, two for two, that was it and now this woman was asking for more, asking them to give her the newest addition to their group so that she could use him like some slave again. She had no right to ask that. Not when they were almost out the door.
Daryl stepped forward, pushing Noah to stay back with them and she placed her other hand on the boy's forearm to keep him in place. Noah was one of them now, no way they were leaving him behind. He looked down at her, and carefully, she mouthed two words: Stay put. They all watched as Rick and Daryl argued with Dawn, everyone seemingly holding their breaths. When all of a sudden, Noah's arm slipped out of her hand and after that, everything seemed to move very fast.
She saw Beth hugging him, and Noah telling her it would be okay. But, it wasn't...
She was staring at the blood splatter on the wall, frozen there and unable to move, unable to scream, or fight, or cry; it looked so much like the splatter she'd seen on the windshield so many years ago, the two fading into each other. People were screaming, another shot was fired but all she could see were images flashing before her eyes and she didn't know what was real and wasn't anymore. Was it Beth on the ground now or Ellie? In her mind, they were the same now and she'd failed them both.
She could hear crying, and more voices, but her ears were filled with a melancholic song that she'd heard once in a funeral home, what felt like a lifetime ago, when life had chosen to be surprisingly kind. Someone guided her across the door, but she couldn't tell who. She saw Maggie crumbling to the ground and she felt nothing. She was numb. She was lost. Hope had just died before her eyes.
