This chapter was written/finished with lots of caffeine and written almost entirely in the last twenty-four hours. I'm tired in a nutshell. Anyways, two A/N warnings in this, bold lettering, you know the drill. I've got some stuff to say at the end, so I'll wait till then.
Though it was rare for Shinji and Asuka to go shopping together now, when they both woke up the next morning, it was decided that they needed to. Shinji drove, since just judging by the deep bags under Asuka's eyes, she didn't seem to have gotten much sleep. When Shinji asked her about this though, she refused to answer. She had seemed fine just before he had gone to sleep, so he wondered what had happened.
Since the grocery store in there small town had since been depleted of groceries, they had started driving closer to Kyoto, and in particular, the city that Shinji had been to months back when he had ascended the building using his AT-field. The city was moderately large, and had multiple places to shop for groceries and other necessary items, so it would still last a while before they had to find a different place to shop.
While Shinji drove, Asuka was in her own mind, still thinking about the mumbled word that Shinji had said last night. It wasn't as if she didn't believe it to be true, but hearing it like that so suddenly wasn't something she had expected, so it had caught her off guard. She had been wondering if and when Shinji would say it himself, but so far, he hadn't done so. He had been talking about their future yesterday though, so that day may not be far off.
Letting out a low sigh, Asuka watched the scenery flash by while she looked out the window.
She had been with Shinji for what felt like an eternity, but it had really been a very short time when compared to the length of their lives. In these two years though, she had grown to share equal affection for him as he held for her, and maybe more so. If not, she wouldn't be willing to give her body to him.
Before this shared existence, the only thing Asuka had known was being an Evangelion pilot. This was her world, her everything, and what she had chosen to do with her life. With the realization that all of this had been for naught, she had lost her place in the world, unsure what to do with herself. She had let go of that eventually, and fully embraced what she had with Shinji. If not for him, she was unsure what she would be doing, or if she'd even be alive. What if it had just been her that had woken up, and ignoring how her legs had been, could she have continued to live? Would she have even wanted to?
Sadly, Asuka didn't think so. As much as she had secluded herself off from everybody else prior to her meeting Shinji, she wasn't so naive to believe she didn't need to communicate with other humans. She may have hated those that praised her while hiding their jealously, but it kept her going, as much as she hated to admit it. Asuka continued to exist on her pride and superiority while enjoying the praise that people showered on her, but Shinji hadn't known her then.
When Shinji had met her, it was easy to describe their relationship as lukewarm, and Asuka wondered whether Shinji loathed her then. She verbally abused him, hit him, and did everything that would warrant hate towards her. But she had always been like this, and couldn't change her personality with the flip of a switch. Despite this, Shinji still put up her, taking all her abuse and rarely rebuked her. He didn't care whether she was one of the few chosen to be Evangelion pilots, or that she had been top of her class at her university. None of this mattered to him, and so he treated her just like any human girl.
Everything that Asuka had once known, or aspired to do was blown away when she woke up in this world, but Shinji was the one that kept pushing them forward. He did everything for her, every selfish demand that had ever come out of her mouth, he listened to. Whether Shinji knew it or not, Asuka was glad that Shinji had treated her normally.
Throughout the past two years, Asuka has slowly warmed up to him as the two journeyed from Tokyo-3 to Tokyo-2. Many times, Asuka had wondered what the faint feeling she got in her chest when she looked at Shinji was, but she had never experienced it before, so didn't know what it was. She began to realize what it was during the first winter they spent together, and had slowly come to accept it, strange as it was. She still wasn't sure we're it had started, or what had caused these feelings to manifest, but she was no longer going to ignore it.
"So I as well," mumbled Asuka almost inaudibly.
"You say something?" asked Shinji.
"No, just focus on driving," replied Asuka, her eyes still watching the scenery outside.
Shinji glanced sideways at her, but didn't say anything. She had been preoccupied all morning, and Shinji assumed that it was what had kept her up all night. He wondered what it was, but had a feeling she wouldn't say anything and tell him he was imagining things. Shinji thought back to last night, but couldn't remember anything that had happened that would make her act like this.
Shrugging his shoulders, he continued driving as the crosses the overpass, and entered the city.
Since Shinji was with her this time, Asuka let him do the bulk of the shopping while she wandered the isles. The store was much larger than the grocery store they had back in their town, and it doubled as a department store as well, complete with clothes, electronics, garden supplies, and a small selection of furniture. Asuka browsed around the garden supplies for a while. She still would like her own garden at some point, and they had plenty of room at their house, but next year would have to wait.
She had long lost Shinji in the sea of isles and now wandered over to the clothing department. She had already been through the clothes here so many times she had lost count, and had already grabbed anything she remotely thought she would wear, but it helped to waste time at least. As far as underwear went, most of her collection was simple white, with the occasional red piece here or there since it matched her hair well, but she was eyeing a black pair currently. She wondered how Shinji would like it, more so than how it would look on her. But, black really wasn't her thing, so she left it alone.
Growing bored, she decided to find Shinji and began walking along the ends of the isles, peaking down them in search of him. As she passed a certain isle though and didn't see him, she did a quick double take as her eyes swirled up to the signboard hanging above the isle. Pausing, she glanced at a certain word before slowly walking down the isle. It had suddenly struck her, and while she felt sorta awkward looking for such a thing, she was curiously nonetheless. She didn't have much knowledge on the subject, but kinda knew what she was looking for.
Her eyes passed over the many boxed items laying on the shelf, when she suddenly glanced at a certain box, and then frowned slightly. Picking the box up at random, she glanced at the image on the front along with the words, and then turned it over. Was this what she was looking for? Asuka thought so, but she wasn't one hundred percent certain. Opening it up however, she found several oddly wrapped items which she could only assume the purpose of. Feeling even more awkward at that thought, she grabbed a handful of them, and stuffed them into her pocket. Maybe she was being overly cautious, but she really didn't want an accident occurring.
With this done, she began checking the isles again, aware that the item in her pocket was weighing her down mentally. She tried not to think about it, but was aware of a certain feeling she was beginning to have in the pit of her stomach.
She heard Shinji before she saw him, and he was mumbling something to himself. As she rounded the corner, she saw him kneeling beside a shelf and examining two canned items, trying to decide what he wanted. He was much more meticulous then her when shopping, and Asuka always just went with whatever the norm was, but Shinji still liked to experiment a bit in what he could cook on their grill.
Asuka watched him for a while as she stood at the end of the isle. Shinji was so preoccupied that he didn't notice her at first. When he finally made his decision, and stood up, he glanced down the isle and saw her standing there.
"Asuka? How long have you been standing there?"
"Not long," she replied. She hoped her voice sounded normal, but she still felt an odd sensation in her stomach.
Shinji eyed her for a second, confused at her peculiar behavior, but shrugged it off. Dumping the canned food in the cart, he walked down the isle away from Asuka, his eyes passing over the many canned goods on the shelf. He thought about cooking a rather extravagant dinner tonight, considering it had been around two years since they had both met each other.
Pausing again in the isle, he focused on another shelf. While Shinji continuing pouring over the labels, he didn't notice that Asuka was slowly approaching him. Her face was flushed red as she pondered over multiple things. Her entire body was burning up, and only one thing would remedy this feeling.
Finally hearing her approaching footsteps, Shinji turned to look at her, slightly startled by the expression she had.
"Asuka?" he wondered as he slowly stood up.
Shinji didn't get a verbal reply from her, but Asuka surged forward pressing her lips violently against his, kissing him deeply. Shinji was caught of guard by her suddenness, and he backed up a step, but collided against one of the metal shelves on the isle. Cans began spilling onto the ground with his back pressed against the shelf, but Asuka didn't care about this, continuing to kiss him.
She pressed her body against his, her tongue forcefully entering his mouth. It wasn't unheard of them to kiss each other quickly while shopping, but they had never done this before. Shinji honestly wasn't ready for this, and would have rather just gotten the shopping done and gone home, but Asuka had other plans.
Her hands starting fumbling at the hem of his shirt, trying to take it off, but Shinji restrained her. Not giving up however, her right hand instead found its way to his jeans, pressing against his groin. Against his own wishes, Shinji felt himself start to grow hard as Asuka's hand began massaging the slight bulge that had appeared.
Still, this wasn't the time or place for this, and Shinji drew back from Asuka's lips suddenly to speak his mind.
"Asuka, let's not do this here."
"Why not? It's not like anyone is going to interrupt us."
"Even so," started Shinji, but he lost his voice as Asuka's hand continued stroking him.
"You need to be more honest," she grinned mischievously.
Her right hand continued pressing against his erection, and she began kissing him again. Shinji wanted to refuse her, but his mind was slowly slipping away. Finally, he kissed her back, entwining his tongue with hers, and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer to him. He
didn't know what had brought this on, but it was clear that Asuka was excited. Even through both her shirt and bra, he could feel her nipples digging into his chest. He very much wanted to remove her top, but something held him back. He still didn't feel this was right to do in a store.
Asuka had the complete opposite opinion on this though. No matter where or when, she wanted Shinji. It didn't matter whether it was in their house, car, this store, the hot springs, or some location they hadn't discovered. The where didn't matter, and the when was nearly at any given moment. All that mattered was that she had Shinji.
As she started to grow more aroused, her hand slid up inside Shinji's shirt, her hands gliding across her chest, and pinching his nipples. Shinji held back the groan that bubbled up his throat, but Asuka's right hand found new vigor as it danced around his erection, forcing it out. Both were panting now, and Asuka could feel a sweet moistness seeping between her legs. She was nearing her limit, and her mind quickly flashed to what she had in her pocket, but Shinji had reached his limit.
Grasping her shoulders, he gently pushed her away. He was frowning, but wasn't angry at her, just confused why she had tried to do this right here.
"What?" asked Asuka, slightly abrasive.
"Sorry, I still don't feel this is the proper place."
"What does it matter?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm being dumb, but I prefer doing this in our own house."
"You're right, that is dumb," said Asuka.
They were silent for a moment, still holding each other while their faces were mere inches apart. Asuka broke free though, knowing that Shinji wasn't going to budge on this. She didn't agree with this, and the feeling deep inside of her hadn't disappeared yet.
"Fine, have it your way," sighed Asuka as she stepped away from him.
Shinji watched her suddenly become preoccupied with something on the shelf opposite where they had just been kissing. Truthfully, he didn't want to stop, and he bulge in his pants wasn't going down anytime soon, especially with his eyes wavering to Asuka's butt. Trying to suppress his desires, he refocused his attention on the canned food, ignoring the slight humming coming from Asuka behind him.
When Shinji was finally satisfied with the amount of food he had stacked in the cart, he went to look for Asuka who had disappeared again. He found her sitting in the middle of an isle, a stack of books placed on either side of her. She seemed to be going through the few books they had scoured in the store, trying to decided which to read next. Most of them seemed pretty bad just judging from the cover, but they had exhausted most reading material that they could find in the first place.
"Ready to go?" asked Shinji.
"More or less," answered Asuka, not bothering to put the books back that she had taken off the shelf. She hadn't found anything that she wanted it seemed, but Shinji had somewhat expected this.
Pushing the shopping cart through the store, they exited through the busted automatic doors courtesy of Shinji's AT-field. Loading everything into the back of the the truck and securing everything in place, Shinji threw a blue tarp over the canned goods that he usually used to keep the firewood dry in case it rained.
Jumping into the cab, he started the truck, and then turned to Asuka, about to ask her if she was set. She wasn't looking at him though, her eyes staring down at the floor mats instead. She hadn't bothered to put on her seatbelt yet either, and Shinji was about to ask her if there was a problem when she turned to him. Shinji knew the expression on her face, since it was one he had seen very recently in the store before she had kissed him.
He had expected it, but when Asuka slowly started crawling across the seat towards him in a seductive manner, Shinji felt himself quickly grow aroused again. He moved himself so that his back was against the door, and when Asuka neared him she quickly turned off the truck before sliding onto his lap. Sitting up fully, her head almost brushed the top of the truck, while her long hair was draped behind her, spilling onto Shinji's legs. She paused however before doing anything, and looked at Shinji's questionably.
"Is this alright?" she asked, referring to his reluctance to do this in the store. Shinji didn't need even a second to respond to this.
"It is," he quickly said.
Getting his acceptance, Asuka leaned herself forward, pressing her lips against his. They kissed deeply, their bodies presses against one another, with Shinji's back pressing roughly against the driver door. His hands snaked around her back, running them through her long hair, enjoying the way it parted for him. Their tongues found each other, and quickly started dancing with each other as they exchanged saliva.
(A/N: Sexual acts, no actual intercourse, look for next bold lettering for summary...and this is a long one.)
Asuka had waited long enough however, and wasn't going to settle for 'no' this time, even if Shinji pleaded with her. Drawing back from the kiss, she grasped the hem of her shirt, and pulled it over her head in one fluid motion, chucking it behind her where it collided with the door and fell onto the floor behind her. Sitting on Shinji's lap, she gazed down at him, watching as his eyes stared at her breasts hidden by her bra. No matter how often this happened, Asuka was glad that Shinji never got tired of this sight.
Falling back into his arms, they continued kissing, while Shinji's hands started tracing patterns along her back with his nails. She started squirming, but didn't mind this in the least. The spot between her legs started to become moist, and her body started sweating. She felt like she had a fever as she kissed Shinji. The car started fogging up as they continued with their passion, but neither were aware of this.
Having reached his own limit of suppression, Shinji quickly undid the clasp of Asuka's bra, something which he had quickly gotten good at. With the clasp undone from her back, Asuka sat up, letting her breasts easily sway freely. While she sat on his lap, Shinji removed his own shirt, and threw it to the floorboard beside him. They embraced again, as skin touched skin, and Shinji was surprised at how hot Asuka's body was.
They kissed sweetly then, enthralled in each other's affection. Shinji never wanted this to end, but knew this could never be true. There was always a cut off point, or at least until they reached their respective climaxes.
Asuka slowly started moving her hips, pressing against Shinji's erection, and he in turn started to move as well. They kissed more deeply, forgetting the fact they were in a truck, imagining that they were back home on their couch, or bed. Shinji's thing was pressing uncomfortably against his jeans, but he wasn't sure whether to remove them or not. Asuka seemed fine with things as they were currently, and was even smiling slightly. She was enjoying herself immensely, relieved that they were doing this. The thought of going home was so far from her mind that all she cared about was this moment.
Shinji broke off the kiss though; his eyes had been traveling down to his chest where Asuka's breasts were resting for a while. Understanding his desire, Asuka removed herself from his chest, and arched her body above his so that her head was pressing against the window of the door. Her breasts were now fully in Shinji's face and he stared at them for several seconds before his lips latched onto one of her erect nipples, sucking on it as if he were a baby.
Asuka couldn't help but let out a low cry, her body surging with electricity. She couldn't contain the feeling she was having, and felt something welling up between her legs, ready to burst at any moment. But after two months of this, Asuka was also more resilient to Shinji's advances. While her body squirmed with pleasure, Shinji continued sucking on her breasts, hardly noticing the moans that were escaping her mouth.
Shinji didn't think he'd ever get tired of this for as long as he lives. His tongue swirled around her nipple, rolling it around in his mouth, savoring the taste of her soft flesh. He alternated between her breasts, moving his mouth from one to the other. His mind was in a haze, lost as he continued exploring her body.
He could no longer ignore the uncomfortable feeling in his pants however, and placed his hands on Asuka's hips, moving her away from him slightly. Asuka glanced at him briefly, before her eyes traveled down to his waist. She understood what he wanted, and so drew back slightly to the end of the truck. Quickly, Shinji unbuttoned his pants and dropped them on the floor beside him. Unknown to him, Asuka was doing the same, and they were soon in nothing but their underwear.
Shinji stared at Asuka well formed body hungrily, and before Asuka could make a move, Shinji was already across the cab, pressing Asuka against the door as his lips found hers. Their bodies pressed against one another, their tongues entwined, and Shinji placed one hand over Asuka's breast, pinching her nipple. Asuka moaned, her voice echoing in Shinji's mouth as they kissed, and her hand quickly found the bulge pressing against his boxers. She could feel the heat through the thin fabric, and thought that it might pop out at any second. She didn't thinking her heart couldn't handle that if it did.
They played with each other's bodies, exploring nearly every inch until both of them were dripping in sweat. For Asuka though, she wasn't satisfied with this any longer. The spot between her legs was throbbing painfully, something which she wanted to correct. She had grown accustomed to relieving Shinji in her own way, but he hadn't done the same yet.
Drawing back from him, Shinji glanced back quizzically at her, wondering why she had stopped kissing him. Asuka had a slight blush on her face, something which Shinji thought they had been passed at this point, considering what they had grown accustomed to. Asuka was biting her lips slightly, but she seemed to be set on something. Wrapping her arms around him slowly, she placed her head against his shoulder and then whispered into his ear.
"Hey, I want you to do something for me."
Shinji eyes swiveled to the side, trying to focus on Asuka's face, but he couldn't see her properly.
"What is it?" asked Shinji slowly.
Asuka didn't reply, but a smile appeared on her lips. With one arm still around Shinji's back, she took her other hand and placed it over his own, entwining her hand with his. Leaning away from him, she took his hand and placed it between her breasts. Shinji didn't understand this gesture since he had just had his hands over her breasts, but then she started guiding his hand down her chest, passing over her navel, and just stopping at her underwear. It slowly dawned on Shinji what she wanted, and even though Asuka wanted this, Shinji still asked for her confirmation.
"Asuka, is this...?"
She didn't reply, but simply nodded at him, her blue eyes staring into his brown ones. If she was okay with this, then so was Shinji. Sliding his hand out of her own, Shinji's hand slowly traveled over her underwear, and when his hand brushed over her spot, Asuka inhaled sharply.
This was a first for him, so Shinji wasn't exactly sure what he should be doing, but he understood the basics at least. When it came down to it, it wasn't all that different to what Asuka had been doing to him. He began running his hand over the spot between her legs, gliding over it. He knew that Asuka was excited, but it didn't prepare him for how moist her underwear was, and he could see there was a faint stain thanks to this moistness. His eyes flickered up the Asuka, making sure that she was still okay with this, but judging by her expression, she was wholly lost in her own pleasure.
Becoming more daring, he starting gently running his index finger over it. Even with the small amount of pressure he was exerting in his finger, he could still feel Asuka's soft flesh parting as his finger passed back and forth over her slit. He was amused though by Asuka's expressions that were wildly changing on her face. She was holding herself back as much as possible, but it was clear that this was far too stimulating.
Beginning to apply more pressure, Shinji finger sank into her flesh, parting it easily. He starting going slowly, and then suddenly faster, alternating between gentle, and more rough. The moistness that was seeping between her legs had now turned Shinji's finger wet as well, but this only served to turn him on further. He was growing more aroused, his erection pressing against his boxers. He was strongly aware of how close they were to committing the act, and if Asuka gave her okay, Shinji probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. Right now, he didn't care whether they were doing this in a truck or not. Truthfully, he wanted to pull Asuka's underwear off and see her fully naked body, but he held himself back. This was enough for now.
Meanwhile, Asuka's expectations had been completely betrayed, but not in a bad way. She had done this by herself multiple times when the mood struck her, but having Shinji do it was like nothing she had ever expected. Her entire body felt like it was melting, starting from where he was touching her and traveling all along her body. She jerked, twitched, jolted, and squirmed her body at every movement that he was making. She was close, she knew, but just a little more and-
Asuka suddenly screamed, her voice bouncing all around the cab, as her body gave a mighty jolt. Her mind had long since been lost in pleasure, but Shinji had suddenly inserted his finger, pushing the cotton and flesh aside as his finger entered her. This has been far to sudden, and Asuka glanced down somewhat annoyed at Shinji, who looked like he was thinking of apologizing. She hadn't expected it, so it had come as a shock, but Asuka wasn't about to tell him to stop, not now.
Since she hadn't reprimanded him, Shinji took this to mean it was okay to keep going. It was impossible to compare the two instances of rubbing his finger against her spot, and actually placing his finger inside her; the later was far more incredible. Even though his finger was pressing against her flesh through the cotton, he could still feel everything. The warmth, moistness, and softness was far beyond what Shinji had imagined, and his finger was throughly soaked now.
Slowly he started moving, exploring Asuka's depths. He only had one finger inserted, but judging be the change in Asuka's expression, this didn't matter. Quickly though, Shinji began to notice something. Whenever Asuka moved her body in any sort of fashion, or tensed up, her flesh would wrap around his finger, smothering it. Just as he had done earlier, he started alternating his pace, going slow, and then fast. He was enjoying watching the expressions of ecstasy appear on Asuka's face.
He changed tactics though as a sudden thought sprang to mind. While he continued focusing on the spot between her legs, his other hand found her breast, cupping it gently, and then started to pinch her pink nipple. Asuka let out another scream at this two way assault, her body writhing in pleasure. Shinji felt her body squeeze him, and knew that she was about there.
Finally, he pressed his forefinger against the spot between her legs, slowly inserting it where it met his index finger. Coupled with this, and the pinching of her nipples, Asuka's body tensed wildly, clamping down on his fingers as she screamed, reaching her climax. As this happened however, Shinji quickly leaned up to her, pressing his lips roughly against hers, silencing the shrill scream that has escaped her lips. Though she had just climaxed, she ravenously kissed him back, melting in his lips.
Shinji drew his fingers out from inside her, and began leaning back, but Asuka had throughly had enough, and pushed him backwards, falling on top of him in exhaustion. They laid there for several minutes, Asuka slowly calming herself down, while Shinji did his best as well. He was still rigid, but didn't think that Asuka would be up for getting him off after what had just happened.
(Ends here. All the usual things of course, but this time Asuka asks Shinji to finger her, which he does, though its through her underwear.)
"Asuka, is it all right if I get up. I just noticed that the car has entirely fogged up."
Asuka groaned, seeming to not want this, but she glanced around at the windows and windshield, seeing that he was right. Slowly lifting herself of him, she started gathering up her clothes and dressed herself. Shinji started the car and rolled down the windows before dressing as well. Not only the windows, but the truck itself needed to air out a bit.
They sat in their respective seats, the defroster going as the fog slowly subsided. Shinji didn't know how much time had passed, and he just remembered why they were even here in the first place. He had completely forgotten about the shopping they had finished a little while ago.
Glancing over at Asuka, it was clear that she was thinking to herself. She had calmed down now, but the situation felt a little strange. Shinji wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to her. It was obvious that she had enjoyed herself, though Shinji felt like he should say something.
"Umm...Asuka?"
"Hmm?"
"I...well..."
Asuka glanced over at him, wondering what he was thinking about saying. Those three words popped into her mind for a moment, but Shinji had missed that opportunity to speak them a while ago. It wouldn't work right now if he said it. Instead, Asuka felt at the very least that she should apologize for being the only one to enjoy herself.
"Sorry, I probably should have taken your thoughts into consideration, but I lost my sense of reason."
"No, you don't have to apologize Asuka. It...felt good for me too, so-"
Asuka couldn't help but feel embarrassed slightly at his statement. It had only been his fingers, but he had driven her far beyond anything she had experienced before. If he had enjoyed it as well, then Asuka felt a little better about it.
"I suppose we should head home now," said Shinji.
"Agreed," muttered Asuka.
Without any further words, Shinji put the truck in gear, and drove out of the parking lot. They were on there way home.
After packing away all the groceries, Shinji brewed some fresh coffee for them, though more for Asuka's benefit. Since she had slept fitfully last night, and coupled with what had happened in the truck, her conscious was wavering. She had nearly dropped several plastic bags filled with cans while they were bringing them inside, and Shinji eventually told her that he could deal with the rest. He suggested that she take a nap, since it was still a long way until he'd even consider cooking dinner, but she said she would force herself to stay awake for the rest of the day.
They sat together on the couch, leaning against one another, though even with her coffee cup emptied beside her, Asuka was still nodding off. Just being beside Shinji like this made her feel at peace, and multiple times he had to nudge her gently to be sure she didn't fall asleep. She snuggled against him, relaxed in the warmth shared between them. How easy it would be for her to fall asleep right now...
"Asuka? Hey?"
"Hmm, sorry," she mumbled beside him. "I'm really not sure if I can make it honestly."
"If you're this tired, you should just go take a nap."
"No, don't want to," she replied sleepily.
Shinji frowned at her, wondering why was was being so stubborn.
"Sorry, I just want to stay beside you right now. I don't even truthfully know why even but..."
'What am I saying,' thought Asuka. Shaking her head slowly, she tried ignoring these sudden thoughts, and asked Shinji something else instead.
"Did you plan on practicing again today?"
"Well, I'd considered it, but I don't have to. Besides, you said you wanted to stay with me, so-"
"It's fine. You can go."
"If I leave though, you'll just fall asleep...unless you're okay with that."
"That's why I'm going as well."
Shinji let that sink in for several seconds, thinking he had misheard. Asuka had known long ago about the extra time spent in the woods after cutting down trees, but even after all this time, she still hadn't gone out there with him. They had their own schedule for doing things, so it had almost never come up, but Asuka was now wanting to go. Shinji wasn't sure whether he wanted her to honestly. He had no idea what he looked like when he was so focused on his AT-field, and was a little afraid what her reaction would be.
"Are you sure about that?" asked Shinji.
"Well, I've never been out there in the first place, and I have a better chance staying awake there then here certainly. Plus, like I said, I want to be beside you right now."
Asuka glanced up at him, seeing the slightly worried expression on his face. Letting out a low sigh, she said, "If you're worried about me thinking you strange, you should know better by now. You should have more faith in yourself Shinji. I trust you afterall."
"If you insist..."
"I do," said Asuka as she stood up. Going upstairs, she grabbed something warmer than what she was currently wearing, and came back downstairs shortly later. She was wearing a navy blue sweatshirt now along with the same color jeans. Shinji stared at her for several seconds, sudden thoughts assaulting his mind, but he pushed those away. Now wasn't the time to be participating in those things.
"I'm ready whenever you are," said Asuka.
"Right," said Shinji as he nodded at her.
Shinji drove again since Asuka was still tired, and she spent the ride leaning against Shinji with her eyes closed, resting slightly. When he eventually turned right onto the makeshift path he had created through the tree line though, Asuka opened her eyes. She had heard multiple times about Shinji's exploration out here, but seeing what he had done after a year and a half was still surprising.
The truck bounced and wove around stumps as Shinji drove slowly through the path. He was going slower than he normally did since Asuka was with him this time, and her head was darting from one window to the other. Multiple other paths began moving off in other directions as they continued driving through the forest which Shinji had created. Soon though, they broke into a large cleared out area, one of the first that he had started, and the stumps of fallen trees stretched on for many thousands of feet.
They didn't stop here, but kept driving further onward, starting to snake there way west. Smaller clearings passed by them, some of which Shinji had used particularly for practicing. Asuka had never thought much about the amount of firewood they had used across the time spent here, but she was surprised at how many trees Shinji had felled. Of course, not all of them were for firewood either, and here and there were some that he had cut down while practicing, the wood slowly rotting away through the seasons.
Shinji seemed to have a particular spot in mind, one of the recent places he had started working on it seemed. The path they were driving on became more narrow, the trees tightly knit together. Eventually, the broke out into a small clearing that was only around one hundred and fifty feet wide in a circle. Parking the car near the edge of the clearing, Shinji got out, and then Asuka slid out the driver side door as well. There were clouds in the sky, but it didn't look like they contained any rain, and the air was moderately warm.
"So this is where you've been practicing lately?"
"Yeah, it's a newer spot, so I figured I'd bring you here."
Walking around to the back of the truck, Shinji let the tailgate fall down so Asuka could sit there and watch while he practice. She climbed up and sat with her legs swinging over the side, and Shinji decided to sit beside her a little while. He assumed that Asuka probably had questions, and predictably, she asked him something which he had expected.
"Can you ask you something?"
"Sure."
"You've been doing this for a long while now, so what spurred this on? You never were comfortable with your abilities before, but you are a lot more accepting of them now. What changed?"
Shinji didn't immediately reply to her, his gaze wandering up to the clouds above his head.
"The short version is I just accepted who I am I guess. For whatever reason, I have this ability, and I can't do anything to change it, and nor can I ignore it. Back in Tokyo-2, I initially only practiced so I could learn to control it for fear of harming you, but when we arrived here, I decided that that wasn't enough. There was still so much that I didn't know, and I would be lying if I wasn't curious how far I could go with it, but their was one thing that I was aiming for."
Sliding off the tailgate, Shinji walked several feet away from Asuka, and then turned towards her.
"Asuka, you've seem me using my AT-field a handful of times by now, but is their anything that ever stood out to you?"
"You mean like the obvious fact that you can use one?" asked Asuka with a slight smile.
Shinji chuckled lightly at that, but then said, "Well, not quite what I meant, but I guess it'd be better to just show you."
Taking a stance, Shinji projected his AT-field above him, sending it soaring up into the sky. Asuka watched this, but still she didn't understand what he was trying to say. When he dissipated it and turned to her however, he asked-
"So, from that, was there anything that stood out to you?"
"...Not really. It was just the same as always, at least, thats the way it seemed to me. You just threw your arm out and projected it like you've always done."
"So you don't even realize it yourself even though you just mentioned it."
"I...huh?" asked Asuka confused.
"My arm," said Shinji simply. "In order to use my AT-field, I've always had to thrust my right arm out as if I'm actually throwing my AT-field like a baseball."
"Is this a problem?"
"Maybe, maybe not," shrugged Shinji. "But, there is something I realized. Everything depends on myself recognizing a situation where I have to use my AT-field, and then acting on that, which requires the use of my right arm. My reaction speed is already well above that of a normal humans, but there is still that one to two second window that requires my ability to react. I then began wondering if I can eliminate this requirement all together, and begin using my AT-field subconsciously. So far, I haven't had much luck, though I have improved my control substantially."
"...Why though?" asked Asuka suddenly. "Why go to all this trouble? It may not even be possible."
"Like I said, curiosity on my own part...but more so because I don't want the slightest possibility that something could happen to you. You're far too important to me Asuka, and I wont allow the slightest chance that something bad could happen to you because I wasn't doing my utmost to understand my own abilities."
"...Shinji..." mumbled Asuka.
It always came back to her didn't, thought Asuka. No matter what happened, Shinji was always there for her. It just showed how much he cared for her.
"Well, like I said," muttered Shinji, scratching the back of his head, "I haven't had much success in this, and I've only recently started practicing again since last night."
"Shinji, I-"
"You don't have to say anything. It was my own decision anyway, and I've steadily grown to appreciate my AT-field more."
Asuka didn't say anything. She had a feeling in the depths of her stomach, wholly unlike the one she had had at the grocery store earlier in the day. This feeling was filling her up slowly, enveloping her heart, warmth spreading to every corner of her body. This boy, no: it wasn't right to consider him a boy anymore; this young man cared about her so much. Asuka had never known that she could be cared for like this, to take all possibilities into mind and protect her. Maybe this is what she always wanted; for somebody to care for her, to protect her, to comfort her when she was sad. She had lacked this warmth for all her life until she had found it within Shinji.
Truthfully, from the bottom of his heart, Shinji cared for, and loved her.
And Asuka fully accepted that love, for it was something that she shared as well.
"Asuka, you okay?" asked Shinji, wondering why she hadn't said anything for several seconds.
"...Yeah, sorry," mumbled Asuka, wiping her eyes. She hadn't realized it, but she had steadily started crying silently. Shinji noticed the pearly white tears glistening on her cheeks, but he didn't comment on this. He hadn't expected his words to affect her so strongly, but they were the truth.
"Well, I suppose I'll start practicing then, if thats alright with you."
"Yeah, it is...and Shinji?"
"...Yes?"
"I...I want to ask you something else once your finished."
"You can ask me now if you want."
"No, it wouldn't be right to do so right now. It would only distract you."
Shinji puzzled over this for several seconds, wondering what on earth she could ask that could distract him so badly.
"If you say so...well, I probably wont take very long anyway. I'm just getting back into the groove of things right now."
Asuka nodded, and watched as Shinji turned away from her, walking far enough away until he was standing near the center of the clearing. Her face turned slightly red as she watched him, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to hear it, to get a clear answer from him. She didn't care how hesitant he would be, or how nervous he would get. She wanted to clearly hear it from his own lips, but she herself had to find her own resolve as well, since she knew it couldn't be a one sided thing.
She leaned against the side of the truck, watching Shinji through half closed eyes. Even though she was sitting upright, she was dozing off. She had to admit though, that there was something rather incredible about Shinji as she watched him go through what seemed familiar motions. She had never seem him using his AT-field so openly before, and when he started ascending into the air, she felt her mouth open slightly in surprise. For all his apparent disappointment about not being able to use it unconsciously, Asuka thought that he seemed able to control it easily.
Even though this was the first time Asuka was watching him, Shinji had tuned everything out except for his own thought process. He thought that he would be nervous with her watching him, but he felt oddly relaxed. He slipped into a familiar process, falling into motions which he had tried and perfected. He was soon high in the sky, looking down into the clearing, Asuka little more than a dot with her vivid red hair. Shinji felt himself smiling slightly as he looked down at her.
Refocusing himself, he projected his AT-field time and time again as he slowly made his way back to the ground. As he landed, he immediately projected his AT-field into a dome, covering himself in a wide field. It was a simple thing to alter his AT-field now from one thing to another without dissipating it, and he quickly changed from the dome to the simple wall. It was easy to alternate his AT-field now.
Asuka continued watching him, marveling at his speed. Just judging by his physical body, Shinji didn't seem all that strong, but Asuka knew that he held himself back unconsciously. While in Tokyo-2, he had struggled with this, but had come to gripes with his own power and had learned to control it, but Asuka wondered how strong Shinji actually was. Could he shattered a rock just by exerting enough force through his fists? He had broken plates by accident before just by holding them, but rock and ceramic were very different materials afterall. Asuka forgot how strong Shinji was sometimes, especially considering how gentle he was towards her.
As time wore on, and Shinji continued to practice, Asuka slowly felt her consciousness start to fade, and within the span of a few minutes, completely fell asleep leaning against the truck. Shinji noticed this, but paid it very little heed. He would continue practicing for a while until calling in quits. This he did, spending about another half an hour practicing until he felt he had done enough.
Letting his AT-field vanish, he walked back to the truck, stopping when he stood in front of Asuka. She was sleeping peacefully, and Shinji didn't want to wake her just yet, so he carefully hopped onto the tailgate, and sat beside her.
Shinji began thinking about things as he looked up to the sky, remembering his dream from yesterday. The future was a mystery, but no matter what happened, he wanted Asuka to be there beside him. Without her, he would have sunken into a depression of misery and anger thanks to his other self, but she had saved him from that. She never questioned his humanity, who he was, or whether he should even exist on this earth. Nobody had ever cared for him before, and he had spent his life prior to this being shuffled around like a piece of baggage. Asuka had turned all that aside with her actions and words.
Shinji had never understood what love was, and even now, he had difficulty grasping the concept, but if just being around somebody you cared for made you happy, perhaps that was enough. Even just thinking about her brought a warm feeling to his heart. It was a long while coming, but it sometimes felt like it was always meant to happen for some reason, as illogical as that sounded.
"Sometimes I even wonder how I came to love her," mumbled Shinji to himself. He didn't know where or when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, he had grown attached to her. Well, maybe that was another strange thing about love, but Shinji wasn't sure.
"Guess I should wake her. The sun is starting to set I think," he sighed, and turned towards her.
He turned towards her, but received a shock in seeing that she was awake, her eyes staring unwavering back at him, any sign of sleepiness driven from her.
"...Asuka...um..."
She quickly looked away from him, her face briefly turning pink. Shinji swore within his mind, cursing himself for being so lax in assuming she was asleep. He was both thinking and speaking his mind while hardly even thinking that Asuka might hear him, but what's done is done.
"...Asuka?"
She didn't say anything, but jumped off the tailgate, marching around the side of the truck before yanking the door open, and then slamming it suddenly. Shinji continued sitting there, as it slowly sank in what had just happened.
"Guess I fucked up," he muttered angrily to himself.
The drive back was uneventful and awkward. Shinji didn't even bother to ask whether Asuka had heard what he had said; her actions were enough to know that she had.
When Shinji pulled into the driveway, Asuka quickly jumped out of the cab, and then hurriedly walked around the house to the sliding door, wrenching it open and disappeared upstairs before Shinji had even entered the house. Swearing at his stupidity even further, Shinji languished on the couch, rebuking himself for his words. He wasn't even sure whether Asuka was fuming mad at him, or just embarrassed. He suspected angry, and he couldn't really blame her, especially considering how she had heard it.
He tried reading a book, but kept thinking about what he had said, getting so angry at himself that he nearly threw the book into the fireplace. He knew what he had to do, but it didn't make it any easier. It was getting close to dinner, but he'd have to put that on hold for now.
Finally making his decision, he left the couch and slowly began making his way upstairs. The bedroom door was closed, and Shinji hesitate for a few seconds before he finally pushed it open. Asuka was in bed, the sheets pulled over her head, and her face pressed against the pillow. Shinji wouldn't even know she was there except for the distinct lump that signified her.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he felt her shift slightly, so at least she wasn't asleep, but whether she would actually listen to him was a different story altogether.
"...Asuka, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I shouldn't have said it like that. I was thinking about a bunch of different things, and it sorta just came out. I can understand if you're angry at me, and I don't blame you."
He didn't get a reply from her, which he didn't really expect, not yet at least, but he continued talking.
"It's hard for me to imagine that two years have gone by; it honestly feels like I just met you yesterday, but I know this isn't true, because I can recall all the memories that I have of you over these past two years. We've shared a lot, both happy, and sad things. Whenever one would be down, the other would try to console them. It's impossible to count the number of times you've helped me through difficult moments Asuka, especially when I was doubting my own existence, and whether I should have even been alive or not. I think I'd be a different person if not for you."
Placing his arms behind him, he leaned back, letting his arms supported his weight, his eyes looking up at the ceiling while he continued talking.
"...Truthfully, I don't know when I started having feelings for you," Shinji started. "Maybe it had been that very moment when I saw you lying on the beach, wondering who you were. I felt drawn to you in some sense I think, but I can't explain it. Sometimes it seems like things were meant to happen in this way, and we never actually had any say in the matter, but even if this were true, I would be happy. For a long while now, there hasn't been a day that hasn't gone by where I'm not thinking about you."
Shinji thought he heard a sharp inhale of breath come from Asuka buried under the covers, but he continued on.
"Steadily, I've begun to want you more and more with each passing day. Every time we kiss, or hold each other, it feels like a part of my brain is crumbling away. Sometimes I ask myself, 'is this right? Is this really okay to be doing this with her? Does she deserve better than me?' I still second guess myself sometimes, wondering if what I'm doing is really right, because of who I am. In the end though, my feelings for you win out. I couldn't lose you, not now, not ever. Every morning when I wake up, and see your peaceful face beside me, I can't help but feel a pain in my heart, urging me to speak my feelings. I always ignored it though, telling myself there was always a next time."
"I've said it to you before Asuka, but you're beautiful. I'll admit that when I first met you, I wasn't very sure what to make of you since you were so guarded, but as I slowly got to know you better, I gradually started to care for you more. That feeling began blossoming into something more, and very slowly, I started to believe what it was, even though I had never felt it before. It's still difficult for me to describe it, or even put into words, but the feeling I have when I'm kissing you, holding you, or just being beside you, makes me happy. If thats the truth behind this emotion, than I'm fine with that."
Glancing towards where her face was covered, Shinji began slowly crawling across the bed. He felt her body start to twitch under the covers, and thought that she might be preparing to escape the bedroom, but he was careful in covering her with his body so she couldn't do this. He pressed his body against hers now, his face nearing hers. Her hands were holding the sheets over her head, but Shinji placed his own hands over hers, and then gently removed them from the corners of the sheet, moving it away.
He was now looking into Asuka's eyes, face to face with her. Her face was dyed crimson, something which he hadn't expected, but he wasn't about to stop. He needed to right the wrong he had committed earlier.
He stared at her for several seconds, watching her eyes closely. They were wavering, and Shinji thought he saw a slight wetness on her cheek. He wasn't sure whether she had been crying because of what he had said earlier, or just a few seconds ago. Either way, he felt bad about it. He didn't want to see her crying, he wanted to see her happy and glad to be alive, to be living with him.
Slowly opening his mouth, Shinji spoke directly to her.
"Asuka...I don't think I could ever spend my life with anybody else. The feelings that steadily developed and the memories I have of our time growing together, I will forever cherish. However long we continued this shared existence, I want you to know that-"
"I love you."
With these three words spoken, Shinji pressed his lips against hers.
It was a quick kiss, over in seconds as Shinji had intended it to be, and Asuka hadn't even reacted in the first place. Her mind was still churning over what Shinji had said, and both her eyes were glazed over, not seeing him.
Shinji watched her for several seconds, his face slightly red. It had felt a bit embarrassing to say it, but it was how he felt. He loved her afterall.
When Asuka still wasn't talking, or moving for that matter, Shinji began shaking her gently.
"Asuka? Hey, you okay? Come on, this shouldn't have come as that big of a surprise, and besides, you already heard me say it before."
Slowly, her eyes finally started focusing on him. Before Shinji was able to say anything else to her though, Asuka leaned forward, pressing her lips against his strongly. She pushed him backwards onto the bed, falling on top of him. She was melting into his lips, responding to his words with her actions. She received his feelings, and then responded in turn with hers.
Pulling away from him, Asuka stared down at Shinji, her eyes focused on him.
"...Can you say it again?" she asked quietly.
It had been the first time she had spoken to him since before she had fallen asleep sitting on the tailgate of the truck, and Shinji was glad that he could hear her voice again. He responded to her wishes.
"...I love you..."
Asuka pressed her lips against his, kissing him again, entwining her tongue with his.
"Again," she said, mumbling the words as she kissed him.
"Asuka, I love you," he responded while still kissing her.
She smiled upon hearing her own name before those three words, letting the sound ring in her ear. She liked the way it sounded. Yes, Shinji loved her. How long, even he didn't know, but he loved her. Asuka felt elated as she repeated the words over and over in her mind. She felt like a young girl who had just discovered her first crush liked her as well. Asuka could no longer contain herself, her lips forming a wide smile and she beamed from ear to ear; she hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
"So you love me?" asked Asuka suddenly.
"I do," nodded Shinji.
Asuka kissed him again, and then bounded off his chest, turning away from him. She was highly emotional right not, her entire body warm from the inside out. She couldn't help but feel excited, and had difficulties not smiling. She hadn't thought that hearing him say this to her could have such a strong affect, but it did.
"So, would dinner be suitable about now?" asked Shinji, still laying on the bed.
"Hmm, it would," nodded Asuka happily, turning back towards him, a wide smile still on her lips.
Shinji was glad that she was so happy, and kissed her quickly before leaving the bedroom. They would have plenty more to talk about later, but right now they both needed to eat, and Shinji still planned on cooking a large dinner.
When he left though, Asuka remained sitting on the bed, still smiling. As time continued on though, the smile slowly began to fall, as she started thinking about herself. Shinji had spoken his feelings, and so now realistically, it was Asuka's turn. Shinji had bared everything to her though, so if he could do it, Asuka knew that she could.
It wasn't just that though. Asuka still remembered what she had grabbed at the store earlier that day, and it was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind again. What did she want? She wanted Shinji's love, but it wasn't just that. She wanted the feeling shared between two people deeply in love as they committed themselves to each other. She wanted that unique bond that was shared between a man and a woman as they made love.
'I want to know that feeling,' thought Asuka.
It was almost dark out by the time Shinji finished making dinner, and he hadn't seen Asuka since he had confessed his love to her, but he was fine with this. He was sure she had her own things to set in order before she could talk, and it wasn't like they were in any rush.
The candles were lit on the dining table, the food was ready, and the silverware and plates were set on the table. Feeling satisfied with the atmosphere, Shinji walked along the hardwood floor to the bottom of the staircase and then called Asuka's name.
"Hey, Asuka!? Dinner is ready!"
"Okay," he heard her reply several seconds later.
Returning to the dining room, Shinji started serving the food, and then looked up when Asuka entered. She glanced at him, giving him a nervous smile before seating herself at the table. Looking at the food, she knew that Shinji had pulled out all the stops to make this dinner a unique one. The food tasted great as usual, but Asuka couldn't help but not feel very hungry. She was distracted, her mind wandering to the bedroom where she had been for the past two hours.
"Asuka, you okay? You're hardly eating anything. Is something wrong with the food?"
"No, it tastes great as usual...sorry, I've just got other things on my mind right now."
Shinji what she likely meant, and didn't press the subject any further. However long it took Asuka, he could wait.
A short while later, Asuka left, apologizing to Shinji even though he had cooked all this food, and then returned upstairs. Shinji wondered what her mind was thinking of, or what she had been doing up there all this time, but he didn't press her.
Finishing his own dinner, he wrapped Asuka's half finished plate, and left it on the counter for now. It was possible that she would be hungry later, so he'd leave it out for now. Next he started wrapping all the surplus food he had cooked, storing it away. He had probably made too much now that he looked back on it, but he had been on cloud nine since confessing to Asuka, so you couldn't exactly blame him.
After cleaning both the dining table, kitchen, and washing the plates and dishes, Shinji blew out all the candles downstairs, and then began walking upstairs. The bedroom door was ajar, and Shinji could see the faint flicker of candlelight bouncing off the door. Pushing it open, he saw that Asuka was sitting upright in bed, her hands clasped in her lap, obviously waiting for him. All four candles that they kept in their bedroom were let, lighting up the room so that they could see even in total darkness.
Asuka looked up when Shinji entered, her eyes gazing into his, the candlelight highlighting her features. Shinji wasn't sure what this odd feeling was that he was getting, but he slowly approached her, before pressing his lips against hers, kissing her gently.
He cupped her face, kissing her tenderly, showing his love for her. He slowly pushed her down onto the bed, pressing his body against hers. They started kissing more deeply, their tongues swirling around one another, and Asuka wrapped her arms around Shinji's back. She wanted her mind calm just for right now, but found that her thoughts were starting to drift. She had to keep herself sane, at least for a while.
Shinji seemed to be doing his utmost to mess this up however, even if it wasn't intentional. His hands slowly found there way to her breasts, and he began massaging them. Asuka bit down on her lips, doing her utmost to keep her mind within reason. She had things she wanted to say, things that she needed to say, so she had to keep herself calm until then. As they continued kissing however, Asuka's reasoning slowly started slipping away, and before she wholly started drowning in this passion, she had to talk to Shinji.
Placing her hands on his shoulders, she gently pushed him away, and then sat up on the bed beside him.
"Asuka?" wondered Shinji.
"Sorry, but if we continue, I won't be able to hold back any longer, so before that, I want to talk a bit."
"...Okay," Shinji nodded.
Asuka didn't immediately start talking, her eyes watching the candlelight flickering on the dresser across from where she sat on the bed. She had so many things that were floating around that it was impossible to categorize them all. Be that as it may, she still needed to communicate her feelings to him.
"Shinji...I suppose I should first say how much I appreciated your words earlier; they meant a lot to me. Honestly, I'd been hoping to hear them for a while, and always wondered whenever we kissed if it would happen during that time. Even in the truck, I was waiting for you to tell me, but I can also imagine how difficult it was to say."
Taking a deep breath, Asuka continued.
"My life before meeting you was something I thought impossible to change. I had my pride as an Evangelion pilot, my knowledge that I was superior in all ways compared to kids my age, but where did that get me eventually? Sure, I was special, one of the few chosen that could become an Evangelion pilot, but ultimately, I was betraying myself in believing that was what I wanted. Like you Shinji, I had rough childhood. My father neglected and abused me, I lost my mother at a young age, and eventually started closing myself off to others around me. Truthfully, I just wanted somebody to care about me, but because of the walls I built up around my heart, it grew more difficult to accept others."
"When I first woke up, and saw you laying a short distance away from me, my immediate thought was, 'who the fuck is this?' I wont bother talking about what happened directly afterwards, but as the days wore on, I had to start relying on you more and more. You could have refused me, or rebuked me, but you always soldiered on, dealing with my abrasive, stubborn self. I didn't believe that another human, a boy not to mention, could care about my wellbeing without having an ulterior motive. Thats how it was at my university, so why should it be any different out in the real world?"
"Of course, you betrayed all me expectations, and while I was always snappy with you, deep down, I think I started to care about you more. You showed me a kindness that I had never experienced before in my life, awkward as you were at times, but it was endearing in an odd way. You were like me, stumbling through life, unsure about yourself, but you also had a strange stubborn willpower that I steadily grew attracted towards. You were always the one that was pushing us forward, always considering what was best for us."
"Like you, I don't know exactly when I started having feelings for you, but it steadily started growing stronger. During the winter in Tokyo-2, I came to terms with it, even if I still didn't fully understand it, but I feel like I do a little better now."
Turning towards Shinji, she slowly took her hand, and placed it in his, entwining her fingers with his, clasping his hand. She stared into his eyes, those brown eyes that loved her dearly, and felt a small smile appear on her face. Holding his hand, she brought it close to her chest, place it between her breasts at the center of her chest.
"Can you feel it?" asked Asuka as she looked at Shinji. "Can you feel the beating of my heart?"
Shinji didn't say anything, continuing to stare back at her, but Asuka didn't think he would reply. She was sure that he could feel it anyway.
"Every time I'm with you, I feel elate. My pulse quickens, my body grows hot, and my mind shuts off. Just being near you is enough to make my heart beat faster. This body that you've saved more than once, and not just in a physical sense, is not just mine, but yours as well Shinji. I want to share this with you, I want to know what it means to be connected to another human, and I want you to know how I feel."
"Shinji, you've spoken about the future recently, and I don't know what it entails, but I do know that we'll be together, and thats all that matters to me. Whatever happens, whatever hardships we may face, whatever happiness or sadness that we may share from this moment onward, I want you to know from now, until the ending of this existence that we've shared, that I'll forever and always love you."
"I love you, Shinji."
Nearing the end of this, Asuka had silently started shedding tears, and Shinji couldn't do anything except watch, waiting for her to finish speaking. When she finished talking however, he moved close to her, wrapping her arms around her, and drawing her close to him.
"I love you," Asuka repeated again, her face pressed against his collarbone, ignoring the tears that were falling on his shoulder.
"...Asuka, thank you," Shinji whispered to her.
Asuka hiccuped, but felt a small smile appear on her lips. She hadn't ever doubted it, but it still felt relieving to speak her feelings after having them bottled up for so long.
Leaning away from Shinji, she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, trying to calm herself down. When she was done, she stared back into Shinji's eyes, wondering whether she should just straight up ask him, but before she was given this opportunity, Shinji pressed his lips against hers. It seemed that he couldn't hold himself back any longer, and Asuka was happy to embrace him.
They fell into each other arms, kissing each other deeply, their love for each other spreading to each others body as their lips pressed against one another. Shinji had never known such a pleasant feeling filling his insides, knowing that Asuka loved him dearly. He was her important existence, as she was to him.
(A/N: Sexual interaction, and intercourse. Bold lettering in next four pages around.)
While they continued to kiss, their arousal started to heighten. Asuka could feel Shinji's thing pressing against her leg, and her own underwear was steadily growing more moist. Letting his desires take over, Shinji's hands slipped inside Asuka's shirt, cupping her breasts softly. A low moan escaped her lips before being quickly silenced by Shinji. She wanted more than this however; just having him touch her breasts was no longer enough.
Sitting up quickly, Asuka pulled her shirt over her head, and then did the same for Shinji. Wrapping their arms around each other, they held one another while Asuka sat in Shinji's lap. Asuka began moving her hips, grinding against Shinji's groin, watching the pained expressions rapidly appearing on his face. She kissed him again, pressing her lips against his, smothering him with her love. The spot between her legs was beginning to throb painfully again, and she was very close to pulling off her pants as well.
Shinji began attacking her breasts again, pushing her white bra down, revealing the soft flesh and her pink nipples. He fondled them, pinched her erect nipples, and wrapped his lips around them. Asuka cradled his head as he did this, her body shivering with pleasure. Her nipples were sensitive, and Shinji had done this enough times to know what he was doing. His tongue rolled around the protrusion, sucking on it one second, and then licking it gently. When he carefully bit down on it, Asuka's whole body gave a sudden jerk, and the spot between her legs steadily grew whetter.
Not about to let Shinji toy with her continuously like this, her hand found the button at his jeans, and she undid it with one hand. Pushing them down a little, his erection sprang up immediately, threatening to spring out of his boxers. When her hand wrapped around it, she heard Shinji give a low groan, and he suddenly stopped sucking on her breasts. Now that she had his attention, Asuka began stroking him slowly, working her hand up and down his shaft. She watched his expression, pleased that it was affecting him so. She was careful as she did this however, not wanting him to climax.
While she continued stroking him, the spot between her legs continued to throb and her underwear was thoroughly stained. She was nearing that moment, that sweet moment when they would be one. Asuka wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out, but if she continued doing this to Shinji, it wouldn't matter anyway.
Stopping what she was doing, she glanced at his face. He was panting heavily, sweat permeating his brow; it looked like she had stopped just in time. Leaning up, she kissed him gently, and then pushed him onto his back. Shinji watched her as she sat there on his lap, looking down at the thing pressing against his boxers. He was starting to get a feeling they were jumping headfirst into unknown territory. Just the sight of Asuka, the candlelight flickering off her well developed body was enough to make him want such a thing.
Slowly, Asuka began pulling his jeans of him, and then removed her own pants, and tossed her bra to the side as well. Once again, they were in nothing but their underwear.
They stared at each other for a moment, eyeing each others bodies. They had seen each other like this many times, but there was something different this time. Both of them had confessed their love for the other, so there was no longer anything holding them back. What were they waiting for?
"...Asuka?" asked Shinji quietly.
"Yes?"
"...What do you want?"
"...I want you to love me," whispered Asuka in a voice that was nearly inaudible.
Shinji stared back at her, taking her in. He knew what she wanted, but going about it still felt a bit strange. But, he would be lying if he said he didn't want to experience it either.
Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her quickly, before gently lowering her onto the bed, towering over her. He began kissing her body, starting at her lips, and then slowly working his way down, passing over her breasts, naval, trailing down her thighs, before ending at her feet. He knew all of her sensitive spots, and made sure to press all of them when he moved down.
There was one spot he neglected however, and as he made his may back up her body, he stopped here. Her underwear was soaked, which he had expected, but he could see the faint outline of the flesh behind the cotton. Glancing up at her face, he saw that Asuka's face was dyed red in embarrassment, apparently for how wet she was, but she didn't say anything on the subject.
Slowly, Shinji placed his finger over her spot, watching Asuka's reaction. She bit down hard on her lips, her body starting to squirm. He began gently rubbing his index finger against her, feeling the soft flesh moving as he applied a small amount of pressure. He was teasing her now, enjoying the changes in her expression, but Asuka wasn't going to let things end like this.
Forcing herself towards him, she placed her lips against his, and then pushed him down, climbing on top of him. His thing was rubbing against her spot now, and Asuka had to hold herself back, fearing that she may climax at any second. Staring down at Shinji, she smiled slightly, and then placed her hand in his. She wanted this to happen, and wasn't about to take no for an answer, but she knew that Shinji wanted this as well.
"...Shinji?"
"...Yes?"
"I...want to see everything."
"I...I as well. I want to see your everything Asuka," muttered Shinji.
Asuka smiled at his nervousness. She felt nervous herself, but she was also prepared.
Both of them turned away from each other, and slowly removed the last article of clothing they both had on. Sitting with his back to Asuka, Shinji let out a deep sigh, hardly believing this was happening. When he heard a soft voice behind him, he took this to mean it was okay to turn around. Shinji did so, and both of them stared at each others naked bodies.
The candlelight dyed both their bodies a murky yellow, allowing them to take everything in. They stared at one another, their eyes passing over each other privates. Shinji couldn't speak, too enthralled by Asuka's beauty from her well formed breasts, to her shapely hips. But it was what he saw between her legs that his eyes largely focused on. Against all odds, he grew even harder, something Asuka didn't fail to notice with her own eyes locked on his manhood. She had climaxed with just his fingers, but if he put that inside her, what would happen?
They continued staring at one another, unsure how they were supposed to progress from here. Should they embrace and kiss first, or just dive right in? While Asuka considered this, she couldn't help but chuckle slightly, catching Shinji off guard. He thought she was laughing at his size at first, but then she spoke.
"It's odd. I've thought about this several times, but it's still strange to actually be here."
"...I know what you mean," nodded Shinji slowly.
"Hey Shinji..."
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"...I love you too, Asuka."
Asuka smiled at him, and then inched closer. Shinji opened his arms, welcoming her, and then hugged her gently. They loved each other, and wanted to experience the depths of that love together. Looking up at him, Asuka kissed him slowly, and then drew back from him, crawling across the bed to her nightstand. Shinji was confused at what she was doing, but his eyes quickly locked onto her butt, so his mind kinda shut off for a second, and he didn't notice her open the drawer, pulling something out.
When she came back to him, it took her several seconds of shaking him until his mind turned back on, and he saw that she was holding something in her.
"Put this on...you should probably understand what it's for. The possibility exists for me...and I'd rather we not have an accident."
Shinji hadn't even considered this, but now that Asuka said it, he was reminded of what they were truly doing. He was glad that she had the foresight to grab this, since he hadn't even thought about that possibility until this moment.
When it was on, he stared back at Asuka inches away from him. She nodded once at him, and then slowly laid herself down on the bed. Shinji crawled over to her, placing his body parallel with hers. Glancing at her face, he didn't see any second thoughts appear there, only a certain determination. Letting out a sigh to relax himself, he grasped his manhood, and slowly entered her, parting her soft flesh.
Almost immediately, Asuka clawed at his back so forcefully that she drew blood, and her teeth sank into his shoulder, crying out. Shinji immediately thought that he had done something wrong, but then he heard a pained reply from Asuka.
"No...it's not your fault. This is just the first time is, though I didn't expect it to be this painful."
"...Do you want me to stop?"
"No, I want this. Just...go slow."
Shinji wasn't sure about this since he didn't want to cause Asuka any pain, but if she wanted this then he would oblige. Slowly, he began pushing himself in further, his body shivering with pleasure. Even with the rubber, the feeling of her flesh wrapping around him was indescribable. Shinji very nearly climaxed then, and probably would have if he hadn't built up some resistance to Asuka's advances, but it was a very close thing.
Asuka continued clawing at his back, trying to hold back the pain that she was feeling. It had been far more painful than she had expected, but Shinji was gentle and listened to her. He wasn't moving right now, but letting her become accustomed to this feeling, and letting the pain subside. Asuka wondered how Shinji was feeling right now. It was painful for her, but Shinji must certainly be feeling okay.
Slowly though, the pain began to fade away, and Asuka started to relax. Letting out a slight sigh, she kissed Shinji briefly, happy that he had waited for her. She hoped that it would no longer be painful, but even if it was, she wanted him to enjoy this at least.
"I'm better now...so you can start moving."
Shinji didn't say anything to her, but slowly started to move. What had initially been painful for Asuka, quickly turned into something different. Her entire body jerked as Shinji moved inside her, her walls contracting around his manhood. She didn't know what this feeling was, and couldn't describe it. The pleasure she had felt before couldn't even compare.
Her voice began leaking out against her will, her face filled with ecstasy. She began moving her hips as well, grinding her body against Shinji's. There movements synced up, and their lips found each other hungrily, kissing wildly as they made love. Shinji began moving faster, and Asuka soon had her legs wrapped around his waist. Every time he penetrated her, her body surged with electricity, threatening to force her to climax.
She didn't know how much longer she could take this pleasure, but she still wanted it to last a while. Pressing her hands against his chest, she pushed Shinji onto his back, forcing him outside of her. She was feeling much better now, and wanted to try something. Climbing on top of him, she rested her hips against his, grinning down seductively at him. Shinji recognized that grin, and though he didn't know why, he felt a bit fearful.
Slowly, Asuka raised herself above him, and then for the first time, grabbed his thing with her barehand, and slowly lowered herself onto it. The feel of it entering her was different this time without the pain, and Asuka let out a shrill shriek as her whole body tensed up, squeezing Shinji's manhood. He very nearly climaxed then, but he managed to control himself, gripped Asuka's hips, and started thrusting inside of her. Her moans grew louder, and she placed her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.
She started moving her hips as well, not letting Shinji do all the work, and he moved one of his hands to her breast, cupping it gently. Asuka's face scrunched up at this, and her hips suddenly grew weak, forcing her to fall onto into Shinji's chest. Grasping her hips again, Shinji continued thrusting as they began kissing. Every time her body moved, he could feel her squeezing him. There wasn't any feeling better than this thought Shinji.
He was at his limit though, and knew he couldn't go on for any longer. He tried telling this to Asuka, but she was focused on his lips right now. Moving faster now, he felt Asuka start shuddering uncontrollably, and knew that she was must be near her moment as well. Thrusting roughly, he felt his own body shudder, and within moments, Asuka let out another shrill scream, reaching her climax, just as Shinji felt himself reach his own.
(Ends here. Pretty much everything that happened prior to this was included, with the obvious change in that they actually have sex.)
They collapsed upon each other, not moving, Shinji still inside Asuka. He honestly didn't think he could move anytime soon, and felt incredibly tired. For all Shinji's stamina, there seemed to be something separate that was required when making love. Well, it was there first time afterall.
Panting rather heavily, Shinji glanced at Asuka who was still laying on him, her face pressed against his chest. Her back was glistening with sweat in the candlelight, and her hair was ragged and messy. Shinji could only assume how bad the bedroom probably smelled right now, and the sheets might need a change as well. As much as he enjoyed this though, he realized that they couldn't continue laying like this, especially since he was still inside her.
"Asuka...how do you feel?" he asked.
"Exhausted. Tired. Hungry. Gross, like I need a bath. But," she mumbled as she looked up at him, "more than anything, I'm happy."
Sitting up, Asuka crawled off him, and let out a low sigh, glancing down at herself. She really needed to clean herself off properly now that she looked at the state of her lower region. Swinging her legs off the bed, she got unsteadily to her feet, and then winced in pain. Now that the pleasure was over with, it looked like the pain was coming back. It had been her first time afterall, so this was somewhat expected, but she would likely be sore in the morning.
While Asuka disappeared into the bathroom, Shinji went through the purpose of discarding the used rubber. Most people probably just flushed them down the toilet, but he didn't have the luxury of that. Well, he decided to dump it in a wastepaper basket for now, and would deal with it properly later.
Afterwards, he cleaned himself off properly as well, though Asuka seemed to be taking it a step forward. Using the water they used to wash their dishes, Asuka dumped an entire gallon jug over her nude body while standing in the shower, cleaning herself using both soap and shampoo. Shinji would have done the same, but it had been the last filled jug in the house, and Shinji couldn't really blame Asuka for wanting to cleanse herself. Now that they were out of the moment, the whole bedroom smelled, and they had all three of the windows open.
Throwing on a new clothes, Shinji took one of the candles downstairs with him, and brought up Asuka's half eaten dinner. She had said she was hungry afterall.
When he returned to the bedroom, she was newly dressed in fresh clothes and sitting on the bed.
"I was wondering where you went, though I must say I'm glad you remembered what I said."
Even though the food was cold, Asuka dug in heartily, and Shinji sat beside her, thinking back to the moment between them. It was one of those memories that he was likely to remember for the rest of his life.
"Thinking about something?" asked Asuka, glancing over at him between mouthfuls.
"Hmm...yeah..."
"I guess I don't really need to ask what."
Finishing her plate, she set it on the nightstand beside her bed, and then slid into her spot. Beckoning Shinji towards her, he slowly moved across the bed, and crawled under the covers beside her. Quickly, Asuka faced him, wrapping her arms around him, snuggling up to him. She had never felt more happy.
Pressing her lips against his, she said, "Thank you Shinji, for making me feel this way. I love you."
Shinji kissed her back, holding her strongly against him.
"I love you as well," mumbled Shinji, returning the kiss.
Slowly, they fell asleep in each others arms, there love for each other making them whole, where once there had been two hearts beating together, there now was one.
High above the clouds circling over Kyoto; above the island of Japan; above the entire Asian continent, and far beyond the Earths atmosphere, Lilith had watched and waited for two years. Time did not matter to her, and compared to the life she had lived before with Adam, the time watching Shinji and Asuka grow and love each other wasn't even a fraction of that time. Still, it had brought back memories that she had long thought gone.
Just as she had promised those two years ago before she had taken their memories, she would allow them to grow whole and love each other again, which had now come to pass. By all means, this should still be enough.
But Lilith hadn't been idle this entire time. The past may affect them though they not know it, but the future is what really mattered now. She couldn't restrain humanity indefinitely, and most of her power was already locked away, containing the souls of the Lilim inside the Black Egg.
Her and Rei had continued talking with each other about what would happen afterwards. Rei, who had known and watched Shinji and Asuka, was a suitable conversation partner about these subjects. They had briefly discussed it before Shinji and Asuka had left, but they had gone in further detail about it later, discussing the finer points and details. There was only so much that Lilith could do, even if she tried occasionally pushing Shinji in the right direction. Ultimately, he would shape his, and Asuka's futures together.
What could happen, and what couldn't happen however; this was what Lilith had decided. She had given them two years already, and they had come to love each other in this time, but time wasn't on there side. Eventually, they would learn this, but until then, they would still have several years until that moment. Lilith herself could possibly change the future by returning the Lilim to their garden, but Shinji wouldn't be prepared by the time they found him.
"It all depends on what they do, and whether Shinji can grow even further. More time is what they require, though it will eventually seem like a fleeting memory to them."
From where she existed, Lilith peered down through the clouds of Kyoto and into the house where Shinji and Asuka were currently laying beside each other.
"I wish you two all the best," Lilith whispered as she turning her eyes away from them, refocusing her attention on the Black Egg that held the souls of all four billion humans.
It's been a long while coming, but we have finally reached this point. There is a lot I could say, and maybe some that I should say with regards to the second half, but I'd rather it be a surprise, and I'm sure some people can figure it out anyway. I will say though that the next chapter I've had in my mind since before Spawn of Adam finished, so I honestly can't wait to start working on it. I will however be taking a bit of a break, so it's highly unlikely that there'll be another chapter before March, so until then, I leave you with this Valentines Day chapter.
