Chapter 29: The Graduate
"Gram!" Cosima shouts, handing off the pizza to her dad and hugging her grandmother. "I'm so happy to see you."
"I said I'd be here for your graduation, didn't I? And my granddaughter is the fucking valedictorian!"
"Mother!" Don yelps in mock offense, while Cosima laughs and leads her to the couch.
"So, do you have your speech ready yet?" Gram asks.
"No, I've kinda been struggling with writer's block. But I've still got tomorrow to work on it, hopefully something will come to me."
"I'm sure it will, you've got the Niehaus gift of gab," Gram reassures.
They all settle around the coffee table where they eat pizza and chat, carefully avoiding the French, curly-haired blonde elephant not in the room. When Don and Nancy turn in for the night, Cosima and Gram stay behind.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?"
"What happened with what?" Cosima pretends not to know what she's alluding to.
"Cosima, why didn't you call and tell me about you and Delphine? I had to hear it from your father."
"I'm sorry, Gram, I just didn't want to talk about, talking about it meant admitting I actually did fuck it up and should have taken your advice and told her the truth a long time ago." Cosima starts to tear up.
"Oh, Cosima, come here." Gram pulls Cosima in tight and wraps her arms around her. "I'm sorry, I know how much you cared for Delphine and how much she cared for you. And I'm sure you both still do."
"I do, I'm not so sure about her, I mean I know she loved me, she's just not able to forgive me for being a dishonest asshole. She won't even speak to me or see me. I don't know where she is and I have no way of contacting her. This whole thing is a disaster."
"So what happened exactly?"
"Delphine discovered that I had been lying to her, she said some harsh things and took off. She was so hurt and I don't blame her, I was a moron, too scared to be honest with her."
"And how were things before this lie came to light?"
"They were so good. We were practically inseparable. On prom night, that was the night she left me, but before that, we were so close and having so much fun together. And stuff happened that was just… transcendent," Cosima grins.
"Really?" Gram raises an eyebrow. "The sex was that good, huh?"
Cosima looks at her wide-eyed, mouth agape.
"Cosima, please, I was young and in love once, too."
"Yeah, it was that good, better than good, unbelievably freakin' amazing," Cosima admits.
"Would she say the same?"
"Oh god, yes, I mean she told me she loved me right in the heat of the moment." Cosima pauses, "I can't believe I'm telling this to my grandmother."
"Your grandmother is also a doctor, I can handle talking about sex. Did you tell her you loved her?"
"Yeah, of course, right after she said it to me. And then we talked about our feelings and made love some more. It was incredible. But then the truth came out soon after and she was out of my life just as quickly as she had come into it. All I want is a chance to make it up to her, but she won't let me."
"This lie must have been pretty major then, huh?"
"Let's just say it was something that she deserved to know from the get go. She has every right to be pissed off, I get it, I would be too, but this, this total lack of contact, it's excessive."
"Maybe so, but obviously this lie hurt her enough that she needs to be away from you right now and as hard as that is for you to accept, you have no choice. You can't force someone to heal on your clock, every heart mends at its own pace. Maybe her heart needs more time than most."
"Is that your professional opinion, doctor?"
"Yes," Gram laughs.
"I know, everyone has told me just to give her time, and it's not like I even have a choice, but it's hard. I just want her back. Every night I lay in a bed that just feels so empty and I try to fall asleep, but it's a struggle because she's not there to snuggle with. And every morning, right before I open my eyes, I say a prayer that when I do, she'll be there looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and that beautiful smile. But she never is. Do you know that we spent every night together from the time you were here for my birthday until the night of prom? And we weren't even having sex, we were just together and that's all that mattered. I would give anything to have that again."
"I know you would, but part of growing up is making mistakes, admitting where you went wrong, and slowly working past them. It's not easy, but there's no other choice. I know you think you're an adult now, but you still have a lot of growing up to do, both of you do. And whether or not you'll find your way back to each other, that remains to be seen. But it's important that you take these lessons, these tough life lessons, and learn from them, grow from them. Cause they will make you a better, stronger person."
"You're right," Cosima nods, then pauses. "Annnnd I think you've just given me an idea for my speech."
"Well then my work here is done, guess I'll be heading back to Miami."
"No way, I'm gonna need all the support I can get when I stand up there in front of everybody on Saturday."
"You got it, baby girl."
Cosima kisses Gram on the cheek and they head upstairs for the night. Cosima goes into her bedroom, flops down on the bed, grabs a notebook off the nightstand and starts writing.
The next day, Cosima wakes up to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee wafting into her room. She throws on a robe and makes her way downstairs to the kitchen, where her family has already gathered.
"It smells so good in here," Cosima announces.
"Good morning, Cosima," Nancy turns and greets her daughter. "Please sit down, breakfast is almost ready."
"You ready for today, Kiddo?" Don asks as he puts a mug of coffee down in front of her.
"Getting there. Gram kinda gave me a starting point for my speech last night, so I just gotta work on fleshing that out." Cosima takes a sip of coffee, then puts it down with a hint of dissatisfaction on her face.
"Not the same, huh?" Don asks glancing towards the mug.
"No," Cosima shakes her head, "it's not."
"Trust me, Cosima, that's one of the many things we all miss. Your father is not exactly Mr. Coffee," Nancy sympathizes.
"But I make a damn fine cup of Earl Grey."
"Then maybe we should call you Mr. Tea," Cosima laughs.
"Ooh, looks like someone's getting her sense of humor back," Don kids.
Cosima sticks her tongue out at him as Gram places breakfast in front of them. Cosima takes a bite, "Mmmm, now this is delicious!"
After breakfast, Cosima settles on the couch and continues scribbling notes. When lunchtime rolls around, she's still on the couch writing.
"Cosima, are you getting dressed today?" Nancy asks.
"Oh," Cosima says looking down at her robe and pajamas, "I guess not."
"Come on, eat some lunch, then you can continue writing."
After lunch, Cosima is about to grab her notebook when she looks at her family sitting around the living room. "Hey, you know what, I could use a break before I get carpal tunnel, anyone in the mood for board games?"
"I'd like that," Gram says and Don and Nancy agree.
Cosima goes into the closet and returns with Scrabble, Life, and Trivia Pursuit. They spend the next several hours laughing, occasionally arguing, but, most of all, having fun.
"I needed this," Cosima says when they wrap up the game play.
"I think we all did," Nancy adds.
"I mean, except for the fact that Gram kicked our asses, this was hella fun."
"What can I say, I have age and experience on my side," Gram grins.
Later that night, Cosima sits down at her laptop and organizes all her musings into a final soliloquy. She reads it over and over, making edits here and there, reciting it out loud to the puppy for practice until she's finally happy with it and prints out the final version. She then lays down on Delphine's side of the bed and slowly starts to fall asleep, the words of her speech running through her mind, when one final thought makes its way to her lips before she's out, "This is for you, Delphine."
"Cosima! Get up, you definitely don't want to be late for your own graduation ceremony." The dual sounds of her mother's voice and loud rapping at her door brings Cosima out of her slumber.
"I'm up, I'm up," Cosima sleepily insists. She begrudgingly gets up and trudges downstairs. Sleepy-eyed, she sits at the table and eats a few pancakes, before trotting back upstairs to shower and get ready.
She pulls a red, tight fitting, short sleeve dress from her closet and puts it on, finishing the look off with the black skull scarf she bought in LA, fishnet stockings, and a pair of black lace up boots. She then heads into the bathroom to work on her makeup, giving extra care to her eyeliner, making sure it's winged perfectly. She slips the Cn ring Sarah got her onto her finger, along with a few other rings and chunky bracelets. She then grabs the dress bag with her cap and gown and hurries down to the living room where her parents and grandmother are waiting patiently.
"All set?" Don asks.
"Ready as I'll ever be," Cosima responds.
As they're walking out of the house, Cosima freezes. "Oh shit! Dad, hold this," she pushes the dress bag into his arms and rushes back into the house and up to her room. She makes a beeline to her desk and picks up her speech, "Fuck, forgetting this would have been a disaster." She looks around the room and spots a small object in the corner, she heads over and picks it up. It's the tiny toy microscope that came with Science Barbie that must have fallen out when she tore apart the box. She places the toy and the speech into her clutch and heads outside to the car.
They pull into the parking lot 15 minutes later, it's already overflowing with cars and they take the first spot they can find. They walk through the lot into the auditorium.
"I better go join everyone backstage," Cosima says.
"Good luck, Kiddo, you're going to knock 'em dead," Don says as he hugs and kisses Cosima.
Nancy starts to tear up, "I am so proud of you, Cosima." They hug and kiss as well.
Cosima looks over at her grandmother, "Any last words of advice for me, Gram?"
"I know you have your speech prepared on paper, but don't forget when you're reciting those words that you also need to speak from the heart. Make everyone feel whatever you're feeling. No matter what, though, just enjoy your moment. Only a very few select individuals get this honor, so appreciate it, cherish it."
"I will, thanks," they embrace then Cosima rushes off to join her classmates backstage. When she gets there, she looks around, finding her friends huddled in the corner.
"Look who's here, finally," Beth says as she hugs Cosima. Everyone then takes turns greeting her and wishing her luck with her speech. They all help each other put on their caps and gowns.
They're told to queue up alphabetically. Cosima lines up a little bit behind Helena and Sarah and right before Chad Norris. They are then ushered out into the auditorium where they fill the first dozen rows.
Principal Hardcastle makes opening remarks, followed by boring speeches from board of ed members. Next up, the chorus performs a couple songs and Cosima reviews her speech during this time. Finally, Hardcastle returns to the mic, "Please join me in welcoming this year's valedictorian to the stage, Ms. Cosima Niehaus."
"Yeah, Cos," Sarah shouts as the crowd applauds. Cosima takes a deep breath, rises and makes her way to the podium. She shakes Hardcastle's hand then stands at the dais, overlooking the large crowd. She glances down at the paper in her hands and begins.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman. First, I want to thank Principle Hardcastle and all of the wonderful teachers at Golden Gate High for bestowing this great honor upon me. I'd also like to thank my parents for their continued love and support, as well as my grandmother for joining us here today and being the wisest person I know. I'd also like to thank my friends for always having my back and never being afraid to knock some sense into me when I need it knocked in. And, um, there's one last person I want to thank, someone who couldn't be here today, but who, in the last several months, has taught me more about respect, trust, and honesty than I could have learned in a lifetime. Someone who's made me realize the kind of person I want to be. Je t'aime."
As the French words of love leave her lips, Cosima begins to feel a sense of anxiety creep up. All eyes are on her, waiting for whatever words are next out of her mouth. She quickly scans the crowd and her eyes are drawn to the rear of the auditorium where she spots a familiar face: Delphine's.
Great, Cosima, now you're picturing Delphine in the audience. Okay, this must be your nerves telling you to calm down and focus on a supportive face, just like you told her to do. So, if it helps, why not pretend she's there?
Cosima steadies herself and keeps her line of sight squarely on that figment of her imagination as she continues.
"A few months ago, I turned 18, the legal age of adulthood. Everywhere I go now, I can proclaim that I, Cosima Niehaus, am an adult. I can vote, I can buy cigarettes, I can play the lottery; there are a whole host of opportunities and rights that are now available to me. Now I'm not saying all of those are good, but they exist, they come with this milestone age. And, in a few short months, I'll be leaving home, heading off to college, where I will be living on my own for the first time. There are all these adult things happening in my life, but the truth is, I'm still a kid, I think all of us graduates are. We are stuck at that intersection where childhood meets adulthood. Between wanting to be thought of as an adult when it suits us, when we are desperate for respect, while still holding on to our youth, blaming our mistakes on age and inexperience. We ignore the advice of those older and wiser than us, claiming we know better, while still seeking their guidance when we realize we're in over our heads. This year I've straddled that line between adulthood and youth. I've fallen in love and experienced all the amazing highs that come with that, but I also experienced the terrible lows that love so often brings, namely heartbreak. When you fall in love, your brain and your heart do funny things. On the one hand, your brain is telling you that if you can feel all this love for one person, if you can experience all this passion, then you must be an adult, but, on the other hand, your heart causes you to make foolish decisions, to act impetuously with no regard for the consequences of your actions or even your inactions. So, essentially, this moment in our lives is when the brain and the heart are at an impasse. The brain is the adult part of ourselves, the part that looks before we leap, while the heart is the child inside of us, the one that jumps without giving a second thought to where we'll land. We are children on the precipice of adulthood. This, our senior year, was the last time we can mess up and say, 'well I'm just a kid, what do you expect?' Cause, soon, that's no longer going to be a valid excuse. But this was also the year when you had to start owning up to your mistakes, because, yeah you can say you're just a child, but you also want to be treated like an adult, you want to be respected, you want to be listened to and taken seriously. You're going to mess up, that's part of growing up. We all make mistakes; in our lifetime, we'll probably make tons of mistakes, but the measure of a person is how they learn from those mistakes, how they change as a result of those errors in judgement. The truth is, though I may be your valedictorian, I am still young and stupid. I screw up, sometimes I screw up so bad that I hurt the people I care for the most. But I am still learning. We never stop learning. Every day we learn something new, whether it's about ourselves or about someone or something else. Life is a never-ending series of lessons. I've learned a few hard-earned ones as of late and I know I have many more to come. I've still got a lot of growing up to do before I've earned the title of adult."
Cosima finishes her speech and Delphine smiles at her as the crowd applauds. Hardcastle shakes her hand and congratulates her once more. When she turns back to the audience, she can no longer spot Delphine, the vision no longer, well, visible. Cosima rejoins the rest of the students and the handing out of diplomas commences.
Once the last student receives his diploma, Hardcastle takes the dais, "Graduates, please rise. Now move your tassels from the left to the right. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I present to you this year's exceptional graduating class of Golden Gate High School."
The graduates cheer and toss their caps into the air, while their family and friends erupt in whistles and applause. Cosima and her friends all find each other and embrace in a giant group hug. Suddenly, something catches Cosima's eye and she looks towards the rear of the auditorium, spotting familiar blonde curls exiting through the back door. Realizing that figments of our imagination don't typically possess the ability to open doors, she quickly extricates herself from her friends and makes a mad dash through the room, out the door, and into the parking lot.
"Delphine," she yells. "Wait."
The blonde stops and turns around. Cosima slows down as she gets closer to her.
"Is it really you?"
"Yes, Cosima, it's me," Delphine says softly.
"Can I touch you?" Cosima asks and Delphine looks at her with confusion. "Just your hand, to make sure I'm not imagining you."
Delphine extends her hand and Cosima tentatively touches the tips of her fingers to the palm of Delphine's hand. When she's sure Delphine is 100% real, she closes her hand around Delphine's, gripping it tightly.
"Oh my god, it really was you in there. I thought I was just conjuring you to help me through that speech. Where have you been?"
"Well, it turns out I'm not allergic to cats."
"Huh?"
"I've been staying at Sherry's house. They have a little apartment in the basement they've been letting me use."
"With Sherry? Wow, I never would have thought to check with her. I've hardly even seen you speak to her outside of English class."
"Yeah, that's why I asked her if I could stay at her place for a little while, it seemed an unlikely enough place to lay low."
"You mean to avoid me? Delphine, I've been looking for you everywhere. I checked every place we'd ever gone together. I even asked Alison to snoop around Charity's house to see if you were hiding out there."
Delphine laughs, "If that was the case, I probably would have killed her by now."
"Yeah, I bet. So what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you graduate."
"You did?" Cosima says with surprise.
"Of course. I might be angry with you, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to see you succeed. Your speech was lovely by the way."
"Thanks. I had a pretty incredible muse."
Delphine blushes softly.
"I don't why you didn't take your finals, but you still passed every class. If I knew you were coming I would have brought your report card. You aced all your final assignments."
"I didn't take the finals because I felt like school was just one more lie, pretending to be this exchange student with the perfect grades, when none of it really mattered."
"It mattered, Delphine. You were an incredible student, every teacher said so."
"How about you? Valedictorian, not that I'm surprised, but that's quite an honor."
"Yeah, well, I don't really care about it."
"You should."
Cosima shrugs, "I care about other things more."
"Cosima, don't."
"Don't what? Don't tell you how much I care about you, how much it's killed me not to see you, not to speak to you, for two weeks? Look, I meant what I said in there, I know I let my heart overrule my brain, I was stupid, I never should have lied to you, but I didn't want to lose you. Why'd you cut off all contact, why did you disconnect your phone?"
"Because I knew you probably wouldn't stop contacting me and that I wouldn't be able to resist answering or calling you, so I shut it off. I just needed time to think, to decide what to do next, and I couldn't allow myself to be distracted."
"And have you decided?"
"Yes. I'm leaving town."
"What? You're going away? And you weren't even going to say goodbye?"
"Sherry was going to give you a note from me after the ceremony telling you I was leaving."
"A note? Why couldn't you just tell me in person?"
"Because that would mean having to face you and say the words out loud."
"Jeez, Delphine, you really can't stand the sight of me, can you?"
"No," Delphine looks down at their hands, which are still clasped together, "actually, it's the opposite."
"I don't follow."
Delphine looks back up at Cosima, "Because I knew if I saw you, like this," she gestures between them with her free hand, "it would be too hard to look into your eyes and tell you I'm leaving and not change my mind."
"So, here we are, change your mind."
"I can't."
"Please, Delphine. I'm sorry. I fucked up. But I will do anything to make it up to you. Anything. I've missed you so much."
Delphine sighs. "I've missed you, too."
"Really?" Cosima asks.
Delphine nods, "Of course I have, Cosima. You're not an easy person to just walk away from and forget about. I've missed you, I've missed everything about you."
"Then I don't understand, if you've missed me why are you leaving me?"
"Because I need to be on my own, to figure out who I am."
"And you can't do that here?"
Delphine shakes her head.
"Where are you going?"
"Away. I'm not sure where I'll end up, but I know I can't stay here any longer, there's too many memories. I need a fresh perspective. I wrote this in my note, but I didn't want you to think that I was leaving because I hate you. I could never hate you. I'm still upset that you lied to me. You really hurt me, Cosima. I trusted you and you deceived me. That's going to take some time to get past. But that doesn't negate all the time we spent together, all the feelings we shared. And I know I said some things to you that night that were unfair. I know I wasn't a sex toy to you. I was just lashing out and that was wrong of me to say. You weren't just my girlfriend, you were my best friend. I know this was about much more than sex. This was about a deep connection between two people and it was amazing, you are amazing, Cosima, but as much as I care about you, I can't be with you."
"Like ever?"
Delphine shrugs, "I don't know. But I want you to move on, go to school, get your PhD, fulfill all your dreams, because you are going to be a scientist, Cosima, and you are going to do incredible things with your life."
"But I don't want any of that without you. I love you."
"I love you, too, but that's why I have to leave."
"I don't understand."
"I love you, but you are all I know and I need to discover who I am separate from you. If I stay, I'll resent you. I'll resent that my whole life is wrapped up in you and that's not fair, to either of us."
Tears fall from Cosima's eyes and Delphine reaches up and wipes them away with the back of her fingers, then turns her hand and cups Cosima's cheek, her thumb gently stroking her lips. Cosima looks up into Delphine's eyes, her own full of sadness and vulnerability. Delphine slowly leans in, kissing her sweetly, then tenderly bumps her nose as they break away, before resting her forehead on Cosima's.
"Oh god, all I want is to scream and beg you to stay, but I know I have to respect your decision. I just wish things were different, that I could go back and rewrite the beginning to our story, tell you the truth right from the start."
"Maybe things worked out the way they were supposed to. I don't know. But I do know that I will treasure every moment we spent together."
"So will I. You will always be right here." Cosima places Delphine's hand on her heart. "I'll miss you," Cosima whimpers.
"I'll miss you, too, Cosima," Delphine gives her a kiss on the lips, followed by one on the nose, then turns and walks away. With her back to Cosima, Delphine finally allows her own tears to flow.
Cosima stands there, frozen in place.
"Cos, are you alright?" Cosima turns to see Sarah and Beth. "We came out to see why you took off."
"Guess that's our answer," Beth says, pointing towards Delphine in the distance as she gets into a cab. "What happened?"
"She came to see me graduate and now she's leaving town."
"Leaving? As in for good?" Sarah asks.
"I don't know, I don't think she even knows, but she's pretty resolute in her decision to leave. She wants me to go on without her, but I don't know how that's possible."
"I'm sorry, Cos."
"You're not gonna go after her?" Beth wonders.
"No, this is what she feels is for the best. I saw it in her eyes, I need to let her make her own choices and live her own life. I took that away from her long enough."
"What does that mean?" Sarah asks.
"Just that since she's been here, it's been what I wanted, what I needed, what I thought was right, but it's time she does what she needs to do, learns who she is apart from me."
As everyone spills out of the auditorium, Don, Nancy, and Gram locate Cosima.
"Cosima, what happened? Why'd you run out of there so fast?" Nancy inquires.
"Delphine was here."
"Delphine? Where is she now?" Gram asks.
"She's leaving town, she actually stayed for this, to see me graduate."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm upset, I wish she would have chosen to stay and try to work things out with me, but I respect her decision. It stings a little less knowing she cares, she told me she's still angry but that she doesn't hate me. She actually said she loves me, so I have that to hold onto."
"You're being very mature about this, Cosima, maybe you're already becoming more of an adult than you think?" Nancy points out.
"Maybe I am."
"Cosima, your speech was perfectly you. I knew you'd knock it out of the park."
"Thanks, Gram and thanks for the inspiration."
"Yeah, Kiddo, you did great."
"We are very proud of you, Sweetie," Nancy adds with a hug. "You ready to get going to Alison's?"
"Yeah." Cosima turns to Sarah and Beth, "I'll see you guys over there."
The Niehaus family pulls up outside of Alison's house, where the graduation party has just begun, and parks behind Cal's RV. They walk in and are immediately greeted by Alison and her mother.
"Cosima, congratulations. You did a wonderful job."
"Thank you, Mrs. Hendrix."
"We have a buffet set up in the dining room, please help yourselves."
Don, Nancy, and Gram head towards the food, while Alison squeezes Cosima's hand and leads her to the living room where Sarah, Beth, and Tony have gathered.
"Dreads, I'm so sorry, they were just filling me in on your reunion with Curls. You hanging in there?"
"Yeah, Tony, I'm okay." Cosima forces a small smile.
"Can you believe we are officially graduates?" Tony asks.
"No, I keep thinking I'll get a call tomorrow telling me there's been a mistake and they have to take back my diploma," Sarah says.
"Not gonna happen, you're out, free from the binds of high school. We all are," Beth responds.
"I'm actually kind of sad. I'm going to miss seeing you guys everyday," Alison admits as tears well up in her eyes.
"Oh, Ali, come here," Beth gives her a hug. "We may not see each another every day, but we'll still talk, we'll Skype, and get together whenever we can."
"Yeah, Beth is actually right for once, you're not getting rid of us that easy," Sarah concurs.
"At least you three are staying in town. You'll still get to hang out, I'm gonna be in Minnesota freezing my ass off."
"And I'll be on the beach in Hawaii," Tony adds, earning him some pointed looks. "What? It's still far away."
"Do you realize we've been having lunch together practically every school day since elementary school?"
"Yeah, who's gonna criticize our eating habits without you around Alison?" Cosima jokes.
"Cosima, you better eat healthy in Minnesota."
"Okay, Mom," Cosima chuckles.
"Speaking of food, come on, let's check out the spread in the dining room," Tony heads towards the buffet and the girls follow.
"Helena, stop," Sarah shouts when she spots her sister, "it's not time for cake yet," she rushes off to prevent Helena from sinking her hands into the pristine sheet cake.
As Alison, Beth, and Cosima are laughing at the scene, Charity approaches them.
"Crackers."
"What?" Alison asks.
"Do you have any crackers?"
"How should I know, Charity? Why don't you go check the cracker cupboard," Alison says sharply, shooing her away.
"Try slamming your head a few times with the cabinet door, you'll find the crackers faster that way," Beth shouts after her.
"You're gonna make a great cop," Cosima smirks.
"Hey, when it comes to high school bitches, I show no mercy."
After some further mingling, Alison's mother gathers everyone around the cake.
"At least this one doesn't have Alison's face on it," Tony observes as this cake is simply decorated with a cap, diploma and Congratulations Graduates written in icing.
Alison's mother makes a speech praising the graduates then cuts into the cake. As everyone is eating, Gram approaches Cosima.
"Cosima, I've got to get going."
"So soon?"
"Yes, I'm sorry, my flight leaves in a few hours."
"This visit was too quick. You better stay longer next time. Thank you so much for coming, it really meant so much to have you here. And thank you for the talk the other night."
"I'll always be there for you. In fact, I'm already looking forward to your college graduation. If you ever need to talk, I'm just a phone call away. Any time, day or night, okay?" Cosima nods. "I love you," Gram pulls Cosima in for a tight squeeze.
"I love you, too, Gram." Cosima looks at her folks, "Want me to come with you to the airport?"
"No, Cosima, stay with your friends, we'll see you at home later," Nancy says as she and Don walk to the front door with Gram.
After they leave, Sherry approaches Cosima and hands her a note. Cosima takes it and makes her way downstairs to the craft room. She sits down, takes a deep breath, and opens it.
Dear Cosima,
I'm writing to let you know that I am leaving town. I have been staying with Sherry the last couple weeks, just thinking about what I want to do next, and I've decided the best thing is for me to go away. I'm sorry that I'm not telling you all this in person, but I didn't want you to try to change my mind. This is something that I need to do, for me. Learning the truth about who I am, and that you kept it from me, has been a lot to take in, a lot to accept. I hate that you lied to me, but despite the anger and disappointment that I feel, I do still love you. You are always going to be important to me. I was overjoyed to learn that you had been named valedictorian, it is very well deserved. I know that you are going to do wonderfully at the University of Minnesota and that you will go on to do great things with your life. Please understand this was not a decision I came to lightly and I'm not doing this to hurt you. It hasn't been easy to stay away from you, I have missed you so much, Cosima, and I know it won't get any easier anytime soon, but I owe it myself to do this, to go out and discover who I am. I will never forget you, nor our time together, and hopefully, one day, we will see each other again.
With Love,
Delphine
Cosima closes the letter and starts to cry. She reaches into her clutch for a tissue, instead finding the microscope. She takes it out and stares at it for a moment, before more tears begin to fall. She then puts her head down on the table and closes her eyes.
"Returning to the scene of the crime?"
She looks up, sniffling, "Hey, Scotty."
"This is where you and Delphine put your little fix-up plan into action."
"It worked. You and Sarah are together."
"Yeah, it did," Scott sits down next to Cosima and hands her a tissue. "I heard you saw Delphine outside of graduation."
Cosima nods as she wipes her eyes.
"I take it those tears, and her not being here, means it didn't go well?"
"She's leaving town, she could already be gone for all I know. She wasn't even going to tell me in person, but I saw her and ran after her. She had been staying at Sherry's and asked her to give me this note. She pretty much told me all this when we spoke, but it doesn't hurt any less to read it."
"How long will she be gone?"
"She doesn't seem to be planning a return trip anytime soon."
"I'm so sorry things turned out like this. I feel responsible."
"Hey, stop, this is not your fault. If anything, you wanting to see the doll that night inadvertently gave me something I never would have had otherwise."
"Yeah, but this isn't fair, you two belong together. She'll see it, Cosima, she has to."
"I don't know, man. I want that more than anything, believe me I do, but I can't get my hopes up. I know she loves me, but this is something she needs to do and I have to respect her wishes. Trust me, if I thought there was a way to convince her to stay, I would have tried, but that's selfish of me. She deserves to find her own happiness, and if that's not with me, I have to accept it."
Scott puts his arm around her, "There is no way she's getting over you."
Later that night, Cosima sits out on the roof and looks up into the sky. She's clutching Delphine's note in one hand and the microscope in the other. She makes a wish on the first star she sees. It's the same wish she made before she blew out the candles on her birthday cake months earlier, for Delphine to be happy.
Meanwhile, Delphine steps off a plane, ready to start a new chapter in her life.
