Identity
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Things would be a lot different if I did. Let's just leave it at that. I'm not making any money by writing this either. This is purely for entertainment.
I felt fine after the first time we had sex, besides a bit of pain. After a few months of sex, though, I started feeling weird again. It was a different kind of weird. I was tired and nauseous and I just felt like there was something wrong. I had a feeling about what it was, but I didn't want to go to my father Harou. I didn't want him to know that H had had sex with Bryan because I knew he would not approve of our relationship.
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Chapter 29
After dinner, Zexion was suddenly grabbed by Riku.
"Come with me," he said softly. "Axel wants to have a quick talk. He says it's really important."
"All right." Zexion nodded.
He followed Riku to Roxas and Axel's apartment. The two of them were waiting for them in the living room. After Zexion and Riku were inside, Axel shut the door and locked it so they wouldn't risk someone walking in on them. Then, he turned around.
"I've found another way out of The Institute," he said quietly. "There's a small service corridor that's barely used anymore. We can escape through there; it exits to a small wooded area that's perfect for us to hide in. I need a couple more days to scope things out and make sure it's safe."
The others were quick to agree. They also agreed to never speak of what they were doing unless they were safely in Roxas and Axel's apartment with the door locked. They weren't sure who they could trust so they decided that they wouldn't trust anyone.
Riku and Zexion returned to their respective dormitories.
"Soon we'll be free," Axel murmured, wrapping his arms around Roxas.
"Yeah," Roxas responded, relaxing into Axel's grip.
They stood like that for a while, Roxas looking up into Axel's eyes. Finally, their lips connected.
"Roxas, are you sure…?" Axel asked.
"We have to do sometime," Roxas answered. "I know you're really horny."
Axel shrugged. "I can deal with that. I've dealt with it before you came so I can deal with it again." His lips turned up into a lopsided smile. "Even though you smell incredibly good right now. I don't know how Riku was able to control himself while he was here.. I tried to keep the meeting really short because I know he would barely be able to control himself even though I was there. He knows not to push me but you might have been too tempting even for him. I didn't want to risk it and I didn't want to torture him. I know you're in heat. I can tell. But…"
"I'll be okay," Roxas whispered. "I need to get over what Saix did to me. The only way to do that is to prove to myself that having sex isn't scary. I trust you Axel, okay?"
"Okay." Axel kissed him on the forehead. "If you're uncomfortable with anything, let me know and we'll stop, okay?"
"Yeah." Roxas nodded.
He pressed their lips together. Things quickly got heated with a heavy use of tongues. Axel's hands slipped underneath Roxas's shirt and ran up his spine. He was extremely careful so he wouldn't upset the blond. Roxas shifted impatiently.
"Axel, come on," he said. "I'm fine. You don't have to be careful with me. I'm not made of glass, you know."
"I know you aren't," Axel grumbled.
"Then don't treat me like I am."
"Sorry." Axel grimaced.
"It's all right."
They started kissing again. Axel's hands moved to Roxas's waist and grabbed the material of his shirt. He lifted it up. Roxas moved his arms out of the sleeves and Axel pulled the shirt over Roxas's head. He let the shirt drop to the floor. He wrapped his arms around Roxas again, softly touching him. He brought his hand around to the front and ran it across Roxas's nipples. Roxas moaned softly and arched his back. Axel seemed to like that reaction because he did it again, with the result of Roxas moaning once more. Axel slowly dragged his hand down to Roxas's belly, drawing small circles.
Roxas slid his hand up Axel's back underneath his shirt, massaging the skin. Axel's shirt was quickly removed.
"Do you want to go to the bedroom?" Roxas asked, running his hand down Axel's chest.
"Not really," Axel answered, barely suppressing a shiver at the contact. "I'm fine right here."
"In the living room?" Roxas asked. "Where are we gonna do it?"
"On the couch, on the floor, take your pick," Axel answered with a small grin.
Roxas couldn't suppress a laugh. "Only you would say something like that Axel. I suppose you're right though. This is our apartment after all. We can do whatever we want as long as we're quiet and clean up after we've finished."
"Mmm." Axel kissed Roxas's pale neck.
He let his hands wander down to Roxas's waist. He slowly slid his hand underneath Roxas's pants, lightly grazing his hipbones.
He knew he was crossing over into dangerous territory now. After doing some experimenting, he had discovered that Roxas was comfortable with kissing and any contact above the waist. But once he hit Roxas's waist, Axel knew that he was leaving Roxas's comfort zone and tended to stay away from there out of respect for his mate. He hated seeing his mate upset and his immediate reaction was to avoid whatever was causing Roxas to be upset. When Roxas started trembling and his breathing became erratic, Axel stopped.
"Are you all right?" he asked, withdrawing his hand from beneath Roxas's pants.
"I'm fine," Roxas answered, gazing calmly at Axel.
"But you're trembling," Axel pointed out.
"I know," Roxas said patiently. "I'm all right though." He took several deep breaths and his breathing slowed back to normal. "See? I'm all right."
Axel didn't look convinced.
"Axel…" Roxas's tone was extremely gentle. He moved Axel's hand to his crotch. "Please. I need this. We need this. You know our relationship is barely hanging on as it is. There's no need to pretend that everything is all right. There are still some things that we need to work on and that's okay. Not every relationship is perfect. We're only human after all. We need this so bad, Axel. The only way is to take the next step and I think I'm finally ready to do that. All right?"
Axel nodded. He pressed his lips to Roxas's again and they started exchanging hot kisses. They backed up until Roxas's back was against the wall. Axel's lips sucked on Roxas's neck while his hands dropped to the blond's waist. He slid Roxas's pants and boxers down.
Roxas's breathing had sped up again. He wrapped his arms around Axel's neck as Axel slid his own pants and boxers down. Both of them were breathing heavily even though they hadn't done anything serious yet. Roxas panted as their hot sweaty bodies connected. Roxas cried out as Axel thrust into him again and again, his fingernails digging into Axel's shoulders.
As Axel moved into a series of rhythmic thrusts, Roxas seemed to relax slightly. Axel's hands moved to Roxas's erection and started stroking it. Roxas moaned and threw his head back, banging it hard against the wall. His lithe body constricted around Axel and his moans slowly got louder.
"Man Roxas. People are going to hear if you get much louder." Axel shook his head.
"I'm…sorry," Roxas panted. "I forgot how good this feels."
"Does it hurt at all?" Axel asked.
"Yeah, a little, but it's okay. It still feels really good. Forgot how good you are in bed. Or…against the wall. You know, we've never done this position before. All we've ever done is on the bed. Kinda boring if you ask me."
"Yeah, it is boring," Axel agreed, resisting the urge to laugh. "I didn't think the people here at The Institute would be happy if we did it anywhere except on the bed so I didn't push my luck."
Roxas smiled. Axel started thrusting deeper and deeper, trying to find his climax. Roxas moaned and gritted his teeth. He too was reaching his climax. He came first in Axel's hand. Axel thrust several more times and then released. Roxas moaned and buried his face in Axel's shoulder.
Axel withdrew and gathered Roxas in his arms. He carried the blond into their bedroom him and laid him on the bed. He gently covered his mate with a sheet and went out to living room to gather their clothes. He dropped them in the bedroom, gathered some new clothes, and went to take a shower.
When he came back, Roxas was still in bed. He hadn't moved at all.
"Roxas?" Axel asked, walking to the bed. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Roxas mumbled. "I'm just tired."
"Okay." Axel left Roxas alone.
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By the next morning, Roxas was back to normal, acting as though nothing had happened. Axel supposed that this was a good thing because they had much bigger things to worry about. The tension at The Institute was growing more and more apparent each day and it was making all those who resided there uncomfortable.
All of them knew the end was coming. It was inevitable now. Things were not the same now as they had been when they had first started out. Things couldn't happen the same way anymore; too much had changed. Revolution was nearing. Everyone could sense it, but Axel and Riku were especially sensitive to it.
Axel believed that it was because of Roxas. Roxas was not to blame for any of this and Axel certainly didn't blame Roxas at all, but he couldn't help feeling that Roxas was the reason all of this was happening.
Axel knew for years that The Institute was not going to last. Xemnas tried to control everything too much and as a result, everything was now slipping through his fingers. With or without Roxas, The Institute was doomed. Roxas's arrival at The Institute just sped up the process. It was as though it was fate. Fate had bound him and Roxas together.
Axel couldn't deny that Roxas had changed him. Roxas had changed so many people around him. It was just the kind of person he was. It was not at all bad. Roxas had helped him and many others become better people. He had helped Axel learn to let go of his dark past and to love again. Axel couldn't imagine life without Roxas. In fact, he didn't want to imagine life without Roxas.
Roxas brought with him an amazing gift to empathize with people and show them kindness even if they didn't deserve it. Axel was proud to call Roxas his mate and he'd do everything in his power to protect him.
When Roxas had first arrived at The Institute, he was a scared little boy, still a child in many ways. In a way, life at The Institute had forced him to grow up. He was given the responsibility of carrying and caring for a child at the tender age of fourteen and he had done it well. Then he had to give up the child for adoption. It had taken a lot out of him, but he finally managed to move on. On top of that, he had to deal with Axel, who was cold and uncaring.
Before Roxas arrived at The Institute, Xemnas barely had control of the Breeders. Things were fairly routine and nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was even considered normal for the Breeders to lose control when a Bearer went into heat, but it was usually only one or two of the more volatile Breeders who lost it.
Then Roxas arrived and everything changed.
It was subtle first, beginning with the mating of Roxas and Axel. Axel lashed out at their mating ceremony because of Roxas, but it wasn't because he hated Roxas; it was because he hated the idea of Roxas being his mate. He caused them to spend time together in confinement. Roxas surprised Axel by lashing out at him and telling him exactly what he thought of him. He was strong and stood up for himself, proving that he was not as weak as he first appeared.
The changes started growing more apparent as time went on and Roxas started growing up. His body physically matured and the Breeders started noticing him more and more. Their sexual urges started awakening, something that Xemnas had tried hard to suppress. All of them wanted Roxas and Axel was the only one who could have him. This upset them. Roxas unknowingly seduced the majority of the Breeders including Axel who was voluntarily suppressing his sexual urges.
When Roxas went into heat, it was the most potent heat any of them had ever experienced. They were unable to suppress their feelings any longer and snapped. Their self control that had been drilled into them since the first day they arrived at The Institute went out the window.
Axel believed that they were never able to fully recover their self control. Even the more experienced Breeders who had been there for a while and were able to control themselves much easier had trouble when Roxas went into heat.
Then Saix raped Roxas and was executed for it. The Breeders did not understand this. There were a few, like Riku and Sora, but the rest did not. They barely understood the concept of the mates in the first place. They didn't care how they got sex as long as they got it. Their eyes were opened to just how they were being treated by Xemnas and decided that they did not like this treatment. Then Demyx was killed and the Breeders finally snapped. Demyx was not a Breeder like them but he had sex with another Bearer and was killed because of that. It was just like Saix. They had no idea who was next. Something had to be done and they had the power to act. Chances were great that they were going to act and soon.
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As Roxas and Axel walked to breakfast, Axel kept Roxas close. They interlaced their finger and walked next to each other. When they reached the cafeteria, Axel stopped their progression.
"I'm going to eat with you and Zexion today," he said softly.
"But isn't that forbidden?" Roxas asked.
"Well yes, it usually is, but I don't think the guards are going to notice one or two Breeders quietly eating with two Bearers, especially if one of the Breeders is the mate of one of the Bearers. They're going to be more concerned with the rest of the Breeders who don't have as much self-control." Axel smiled grimly.
"Oh," Roxas murmured.
"Don't worry." Axel kissed Roxas on the forehead. "Riku and I will protect you and Zexion."
"But you and Riku will have a hard time protecting us from all the Breeders. I don't doubt you skills or Riku's, but there are so many of them and only two of you." Roxas wore a worried frown.
"I know," Axel replied. "It's going to be very hard for Riku and me to protect you and Zexion, but we'll do our best. We'll have help from the guards as well. Don't worry."
"But I have to worry," Roxas mumbled. "If I don't, who will?"
Axel kissed him on the forehead. "That's true."
He interlaced his fingers with Roxas's again and they walked into the cafeteria. The atmosphere of the room was tense. Everyone—the guards, the Breeders, the cafeteria workers, and even the Bearers were all on edge.
Axel gently squeezed Roxas's hand and let go of it. He walked over to the Breeders' line and stood behind Riku. He murmured something into the silver-haired teen's ear and Riku's eyes widened. He turned around and responded to whatever Axel had said. Axel nodded and murmured something else. He and Riku exchanged a few more words. Riku finally nodded and turned back around. Roxas saw him shake his head slightly as he moved up in his line.
Roxas joined the end of the other line designated for the Bearers, which was much shorter than the Breeders' line. Five minutes later, he had his tray of pancakes and sausages and was heading for his usual table. Zexion scarcely looked up as Roxas sat down. He looked a lot thinner and more worn out than usual. He was eating, at least. Roxas was glad that he didn't have to nag Zexion about eating again.
He was about to start on his sausages when a tray was set down next to his. It had the same meal; pancakes, sausages, and a cup of milk, but there were more pancakes and sausages on the plate. Roxas looked up as Axel gracefully slid into the seat next to him.
Across the way, Riku had set his tray down and was occupying the seat next to Zexion. A hush fell on the cafeteria and everyone stared at the table they were sitting at. The Breeders and Bearers both looked upset.
The guards were too worried about the Breeders to really care about what was going on with Axel and Riku. It was apparent they trusted the two Breeders and knew that they would not do anything to harm Roxas and Zexion. After all, Axel and Roxas were mates and Axel cared deeply for his mate.
Zexion looked up, shocked. "You and Axel aren't supposed to be here!"
Riku shrugged and lifted a forkful of sausage up to his mouth. "We're breaking the rules today." He put the sausage into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "Axel's worried that the other Breeders are going to snap soon so he wants to be close to you guys when it happens and I have to agree. I don't know how much protection we can give you, but it's better than nothing. I know the other Breeders usually won't mess with Axel. If they snap, they lose all sense of reason, so they might try to mess with Axel. I've seen it happen before. The end result isn't pretty."
"Is it like what happened to Saix?" Zexion questioned.
Riku stared at him for a few moments and then nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much what happens, though I think Saix pissed Axel off even more than usual so his beating was pretty severe."
Roxas lowered his eyes and concentrated on his breakfast. Axel casually took a sip of his milk. Riku looked around. The other Bearers looked at Riku and Axel apprehensively
"Nervous little rabbits aren't they?" Riku asked under his breath. Roxas looked puzzled. Riku threw a glance over at the other Bearers. "Are they always this jumpy?"
"No," Roxas replied after looking at them. "They're not always this nervous."
He returned to his breakfast. All of a sudden, there was a clattering sound across the room. Roxas and Zexion jumped slightly. Axel and Riku were immediately alert, looking for the source of the commotion. The original source was unknown, but it appeared to come from one of the Breeders. Roxas and Zexion relaxed, but Axel and Riku did not. They looked at each other and seemed to come to a silent agreement. They stood up at the same time.
"Let's go," Axel ordered.
"Where are we going?" Roxas asked.
"It doesn't matter," Axel answered in a flat tone. "Anywhere far away from here is fine."
Roxas and Zexion stood up with their trays.
"Give the trays to me," Riku said. "I'll take care of them for you."
Roxas and Zexion handed him the trays and waited breathlessly as he took them over to the trash can. He came back without any incident. They were about to leave when suddenly, all hell broke loose. It wasn't clear what set the Breeders off, but all of a sudden, they were out of control. Dishes and food flew in every direction. The guards moved to try and subdue them. Axel immediately took charge. He wrapped one arm around Roxas and the other around Zexion and started to move toward the exit.
"Rian!" Zexion suddenly cried out, turning around.
"I got him," Riku responded, hurrying to the carrier.
He picked Rian up and carried him to where the group stood.
"Go! Go!" he yelled, trying to get a better grip on Rian, who was starting to squeal and fuss.
They started running, holding each other's hands. Axel held tightly onto Roxas and Zexion ad Riku held onto the baby. They pushed the double doors open and raced out of the cafeteria.
There were screams that came from the other Bearers and enraged yells from the Breeders. The guards shouted to each other. Then, there were gunshots and more screams. Roxas sucked in his breath and stopped running.
"Don't stop running!" Axel yelled, tugging on Roxas's hand. "Just keep running. We've gotta get as far away from here as we can! Don't think. Just run!"
Roxas looked sick, but obeyed. The sounds of gunfire intensified.
"It sounds like the shots are being returned," Riku muttered. "That must mean that the Breeders got their hands on some guns. Probably killed some of the guards and stole their guns. That was what they wanted to do. I heard them quietly discussing it."
"If that is the case, then we could be screwed. If the Breeders are out of control and armed, then it won't matter who's in their way. They'll mow down anyone in their path," Axel said.
Roxas shivered slightly.
"We've gotta find a place to hide," Riku said. "Fast."
"Yeah," Axel agreed.
"This way." Riku pointed to a corridor to their right.
They quickly turned and sprinted down the hallway. It looked like every other hallway in The Institute with the same eggshell white walls, white tiled floors, and overhead fluorescent lights, but at the same time, it was different. It just felt out of the ordinary. It stretched on and on with no apparent end in sight. They kept running, never looking back.
The hallway started producing doors on either side of the hallway. They were spaced pretty far apart.
"Looks like there are some apartments here," Riku murmured, glancing at some of the doors as they ran past.
The doors had large brass numbers on them and as they went farther down the hallway, the numbers went higher. Even numbers were on one side and odd numbers were on the other side.
They stopped outside number 113.
"We can catch our breath here for a minute," Axel said. "We need to keep moving and find our way back to the apartment, preferably without being seen by anybody, so we can get our stuff, and get the hell out of here."
"Do you really think that's safe?" Riku asked, listening to the distant gunshots and screams over Rian's fussing.
"No," Axel answered bluntly. "We don't have a choice though. We can't escape from The Institute the way we are right now. We won't survive long. It'll be very risky, but I think we can pull it off."
Suddenly, the door to number 113 swung open. Axel stepped back, pushing Roxas behind him. Riku quickly shoved Rian into Zexion's arms and stood protectively in front of him as a man came out, looking thoroughly puzzled.
Axel and Riku stared. They looked at each other and then stared back at the man. There was no mistaking it.
The man was almost an exact replica of Roxas.
To be continued…
Notes: Um, please don't kill me for the cliffhanger. Please? I know I'm evil, but I couldn't help it. It was the perfect place to end the chapter. There, it was a nice long chapter. I tried my hardest to make it really long. I did have to do a wee bit of forcing. Hopefully it's not apparent.
Wow, Axel and Roxas finally had sex. I swear to god I was not planning for them to have sex again in this novel, but it just slipped in there. I'm glad though. They got to work out their issues and it helped the chapter to be even longer. And who can resist some Axel/Roxas smut? :P
I had it all written out but then I started adding more stuff to it and I was listening to my music in ITunes. Every time a Disney song came on (yes I listen to a lot of Disney music but it's the old stuff like songs from Tarzan, Cinderella, the Lion King, and Dumbo, to name a few—the movies that were actually good) I had to stop working on it because I could NOT work on it while listening to Disney. I didn't want to change the song because I love the music. So I stopped working on it for a couple minutes until the song ended and another one came on. Trust me, trying to write sex scenes while listening to Disney music is not good. XD It's G-rated stuff and I'm writing adult stuff. XDDDDDDDDD
For the first time ever, I actually printed off the chapter so I could proofread it. Normally, I just bring the chapter up in MS word and proofread it that way, but I kept missing mistakes so this time I printed off a copy first. It's a lot better this way. Plus I added some more stuff to make it even better.
I'm sort of throwing the schedule out the window. I have the next chapter already finished so all I have to do is type it up. I'm going to type it up, proofread it, and then post it. I'm getting this done faster than I thought I would. I'm also combining two chapters so instead of 33 chapters, there are going to be 32 chapters. I really didn't want to do this, but the next chapter would be so insanely short if I did and I REALLY need to have long chapters or else I'm not going to make it to 100,000 words. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it in the first place, but I'm going to try so hard. Going back and revising will help because I'm planning to add in a whole bunch of stuff in. Whatever.
