A/N: Just a little bitty backtrack so that we're all up to speed on Edward's situation at this point before we get on with what comes next. Not that I'm eager to get E & B out of her bedroom or anything ;)

Chapter 29

Edward's heart was hurting as he held this girl—this woman who had come to mean so much to him in such a short period of time. He recognized immediately that this pain had likely begun to manifest because of how easily he could sympathize with her distress, knowing very well how debilitating an emotion such as fear could be. But what had caused his heart to truly suffer on her behalf was being made to see just how insecure she continued to be.

It was once the initial surprise of seeing him there as she'd awakened was over and she'd had some time to settle from the overall experience, that he'd been made to see this insecurity first hand. Seemingly out of nowhere, she had become so worried about her appearance and embarrassed by her unknown and uncontrollable actions from before. And no matter how many times he tried to reassure her and promise her that she was beautiful, and wonderful, and perfect, he could tell that she still had her doubts. He could also see that she was feeling an overwhelming sense of shame for what she would most likely consider some form of weakness.

Of course he knew all of this because he and Bella were very much alike in that regard.
All his life, Edward had felt the same type of uncertainty and imperfection that Bella was stressing over this morning, making his heart hurt for her even more, since he knew just how hard that burden was to bear.

Frustrated by his inability to do more, he'd taken her into his arms and he'd held her, offering his love and support and whatever strength she might be able to find in him, while internally cursing his own problems, since they continued to make him feel so ill equipped to help deal with hers.

In realizing the extent of his inadequacies, his thoughts had started to drift off, focusing on his family—his sister especially. He felt awful thinking about all of the time and effort she'd spent worrying throughout her young life, thanks to him. He'd done so little to show his appreciation for her devotion; and at times he could even recall having some rather adverse reactions to her insistence that he continue to try, for the sake of others. Now here he was, right where he wanted to be, thanks to her. She had all but handed him this woman that he was meant to love and in the process she had made him see that he was indeed capable of so much more. He'd just needed the right motivation and it would seem that Alice had finally found it.

He glanced over at Bella's peaceful expression as she slept there beside him, her head upon his shoulder, her hand resting above his heart, and he foolishly wondered if she might even be able to feel how much it was aching. Unlikely as it was, he still thought to question the possibility, knowing that he had never felt so connected to another person.
It was such an interesting concept to consider and even though his logical brain had already informed him that it wasn't likely, he couldn't seem to let it go—especially when he started to remember how he'd come to find her in the first place.

He felt sure that what he had told her was true. He had been in the kitchen just before, about to have a look through the refrigerator, when he'd heard her.
Or had he?

Now lying here thinking about it all over again, he couldn't recall exactly what had made him want to wander over and pause at the top of the stairs; but only after he had could he say for sure that he'd heard anything out of the ordinary.
Was it possible that he'd been able to sense her distress?

He eventually determined that whatever the reason he'd come to find her and ultimately pull her from the panic-inducing situation she'd been in, he didn't really care. All that mattered at the moment was that she had finally calmed and was now sleeping soundly there beside him. So, with his heart hurting and his mind rambling through his usual obsessive thoughts, he was content to lay there with Bella, happy that she was finally able to rest.

As he carefully let his fingers trace a soothing little pattern across her back, he wouldn't admit that this turn of events had upset him exactly, except for the most obvious reasons of course, but he still knew that he was feeling disappointed to some degree. This was supposed to have been a good day, as the day prior had seen Edward making bold new strides towards fixing many of his issues; such a positive experience leaving him motivated and eager to move forward with the suggestions Dr. Montgomery had so brilliantly recommended.

Having met with his fair share of doctors, Edward could honestly say he'd never had the privilege of knowing someone quite like Sarah Montgomery. She was patient and kind, incredibly unassuming and very eager to learn what it was that Edward needed most from someone like her. She didn't try to pick his brain or ask questions that had no real purpose, all in a misguided attempt to try and figure him out. Instead she had calmly introduced herself and spent a few minutes thanking him for all that he'd done to help Bella. It was easy to see how genuine she was and how much she really cared about Bella and immediately she'd gained his respect.

Not only had Dr. Montgomery managed to make a stellar first impression, but Edward had also promised Bella that he would carefully assess himself and consider his options, before deciding whether or not he should go through with this meeting right away; and of course, he had honestly done as she'd asked.
He'd weighed the pros and cons and asked himself important questions as to what he really hoped to accomplish by seeing yet another doctor. He'd thought about his relationship with Bella and the happiness he'd known since meeting her. And he'd thought about his family. What they had already been through with him and the fact that he could always count on their unwavering support no matter what. In the end, he was able to confidently conclude that he basically had nothing to loose and potentially so much more to gain from this experience, therefore he would give it one more try.

Now, it was no secret that Edward had tremendous difficultly meeting new people. He worried about what they might think of him, what would be expected of him. He preferred to avoid the stress of having to be on guard and ever mindful of his words and actions, not knowing how someone new might respond to what he knew were rather odd isms that he'd developed over the years.
So, it might have been the glowing praise that Bella had already given this dear woman; or the fact that, just moments prior to actually meeting her, his father had given him some insight as to her preferred methods, as he'd spent his time waiting for Bella to finish up with her own session in his father's office down the hall; but whatever it was that had really managed to put him at ease, he couldn't have been happier with the outcome. He felt comfortable with her and it was quite clear right from the beginning that they could talk as much or as little about whatever he wanted to address. He was in charge of this process and she was just there to listen and provide helpful bits of knowledge when necessary.
Now, he was trying to recall every little thing she'd said to him in hopes that it might help him cope with this current situation a little better.

He knew that earlier, since he'd been unable to sleep, partially because of his excitement, he'd figured there was no time like the present to try out this new regime he'd come up with based on Dr. Montgomery's advice. His initial plan had been to see about breakfast for he and Bella and if it appeared that she was going to sleep in for a while, as she was prone to doing, he would spend some time exercising this morning.

It would seem that Dr. Montgomery was in favor of his father's recommendation for regular, strenuous physical activity, noting that it could do wonders for relieving stress; and indeed his own personal experiences had assured him that they were most likely correct. He'd always felt better, if not calmer, when he was in a position to exercise on a regular basis, so taking time to run or do a few pushups each morning was now permanently on his agenda.
In addition, he had also been encouraged to begin keeping a journal, or diary of sorts. It wasn't meant to be a traditional journal, in the sense that he would be reflecting on whatever he might have experienced each day, but instead it was a way to keep track of his goals and accomplishments.

Alice had talked about taking baby steps with Bella, in reference to exposing her to new people and experiences, and it would seem that this idea might have originated with the good doctor. She had explained that there were no deadlines and no quotas to fill and that there never would be, but in order to make progress a person had to be aware of themselves and a journal was the perfect way to make someone accountable for their efforts. She also pointed out that a cluttered mind often became a confused mind. So in theory, by writing down whatever he wanted to focus on each day or each week, it would help alleviate some of his mental burden. The concept was a welcome one and the need immediately made perfect sense to him.

Her challenge, involving this journal, was for Edward to start off with simple things, the simpler the better in fact—baby steps. And what she wanted him to do was eventually think of at least five potential situations that he would most likely find intimidating and therefore be the types of things he'd generally avoid, and then he should try to think about why they made him feel uncomfortable. She suggested that these situations be the types of things he'd really like to be comfortable in doing one day, so that should he be successful in this exercise he might actually benefit directly from completing the task.
He liked this idea most of all, since without actually saying it, she was basically agreeing with his most recent theory—that he should be able to overcome his fears if only he could recognize them individually and learn what might be the underlying causes. He also like that he got to choose what he was willing to try and how he might go about achieving these goals. It allowed him to move at his own pace and would likely provide an even greater sense of accomplishment whenever he found success.

Excited as he was to get started on all of this he'd only gotten so far as locating the notebook, which he usually packed along for his programming research, should he have ideas pop up that he would want to remember. Taking the book with him, he'd meandered down the stairs a couple of hours ago, ready to start some coffee and spend a few minutes thinking. He figured that he could jot down a few of the situations he'd already come up with in his notebook as he waited for the coffee to brew, then he would go back upstairs and find something to change into that would be appropriate for his workout this morning.
However, as it would turn out, his plans had stopped there. He didn't get the coffee started; he hadn't been able to write anything down; and he certainly hadn't made it back up to find a change of clothes. He was pulled away from everything else the moment he'd been made aware of her predicament. Everything he'd been thinking about and planning on had suddenly taken a backseat and his only priority had become Bella.

"Bella!" Alice chirped happily.

"Shh…Ally, it's me." Edward corrected in a low, even tone.

"Why are you calling from Bella's phone?" Alice chuckled, "And why are we talking so quietly?" she added half a second later with an overdone whisper.

The answer was a simple one, but Edward was too embarrassed to tell his sister that Bella was currently wrapped around him as she slept and that he had been too reluctant to leave her so that he might go off and find his own phone. Add to his explanation that he was calling to seek her advice, since his thoughts were so muddled by other worries and concerns that he couldn't seem to focus on the appropriate details that needed to be considered for this date he'd somehow obligated himself to fulfill, and he would be tempted to hang up and rethink his options all over again.

As it was, he'd already been stewing over what he should do for the better part of twenty minutes, having decided that it was best to focus on one thing at a time instead of obsessing over every little concern that thought to jump up and down within his brain. He'd promised Bella a date that would help her forget all of her worries and fears and now he just had to come up with something that might actually be able to do that.
Of course, he'd tried to come up with a plan on his own initially; then he'd thought to wait on Bella to awaken and just ask her opinion. He'd also briefly wondered if maybe he could just take her for a drive in hopes that along the way to wherever he might have some stroke of genius and come up with a plan, spur of the moment. However, each of his ideas had been lacking something. Whether it was cleverness, spontaneity, or romance, he wasn't sure, but he felt like something as important as their first official outing as a couple deserved to be something more.
Unfortunately he was so caught up in his indecision that he couldn't seem to do anything more constructive than worry about what might be missing, instead of focusing on what the date should consist of in the first place.

Though he hated to admit it, Edward was smart enough to know when he was in over his head. The frustrating part of it all was that he felt like this was something that he should be able to handle on his own. He knew Bella and felt comfortable with her—confident that she would appreciate any effort he might put into planning their day together, but given the circumstances and enough time to think about it, he was forced to admit that his chaotic mental state was going to require that he seek a little outside help instead. Especially since it had become rather obvious that he'd managed to take all five things he was tempted to write in his journal, plus a few he hadn't even thought to consider yet, and had somehow roll them all into one hell of an intimidating mess without even meaning to.

The first problem was that he hadn't given himself time to consider what this outing would really mean—what he would be forced to overcome in order to make it happen. Secondly, he didn't have time to build up his courage and come up with a reasonable plan all at once. One thing at a time was all he could handle and at the time he'd had to handle Bella's wish to forget. Now he was left needing someone to help him figure out exactly how he was really going to do that.

Having already thought of his sister and how good she had always been to him just moments before, he knew that not only would she be eager to assist him, but she would most likely love that he would think to come to her for advice on this matter. That in mind, without giving himself time to chicken out, he'd reached for Bella's phone.

"I'm taking Bella out today, but I need some help figuring out where to go—what we should do." He answered, hoping to distract her. It got to the point of his call, but conveniently managed to avoid her specific questions.

"Oooooooh." She playfully teased, still dramatically whispering from her end of the conversation.

"You can talk normally you freak, just don't go all shrieking banshee again or you might wake Bella." He told her.

"Are you guys really sleeping together?" Alice asked again, unable to help her curiosity or censor her words.
This was the second early morning phone conversation that had the wrong person speaking to her on the other's phone, with obvious signs that they were together at the time. Add to it the straight up in your face moment she'd been privy to the other night as she'd watched her brother kiss the shit out of her best friend and she had to guess that things were head that way in a hurry, if they hadn't already gone there.

"She's sleeping, I'm not." Edward skirted around that question as well.
He'd been rather impressed by her casual mention of such a subject, but that didn't mean he was inclined to answer with anything other than sarcasm.

"So a date, huh?" Alice thankfully decided to let it go for now.

"Yeah." Edward sighed.

He didn't know why, but the prospect of dating still scared the hell out of him. This was something he wanted to experience with Bella and it had been his idea to make it happen today. Even so, he understood that the blame for this nervous uncertainty he was having to deal with rested with the very thing that generally caused all of his problems—his stubborn need for perfection and an irrational fear of failure. And of course, were he to be honest with himself, he couldn't deny that the decision had been made at least partially out of desperation, leaving him unprepared for the more detailed decision making process that would follow.

"You know that you could do something as simple as take Bella for a walk in the park and she'd be completely over the moon, right?" Alice informed him.

It was quite apparent that Edward felt like he was supposed to impress Bella in some manner and since it gave her a wonderful excuse to think in extravagant terms, Alice didn't bother to argue the point. Bella deserved the best and she was proud of her brother for being so determined to make her feel important.
Understanding his dilemma she wanted to help Edward, but knowing him as well as she did, she recognized right away that it would be most beneficial to remind him that Bella was already undeniably smitten with his goofy self and that she was just a simple girl—in the very best way possible.

"I know, but it's our first real date and I want to do something special, something she might not be expecting and something that she'll always remember." He'd confessed.

"Aww, who knew my Bubby was such a romantic?" Alice giggled in response, her poor little heart threatening sing with happiness.
She could tell that he was nervous and totally over thinking this, per usual; but at the same time it was almost comforting to realize that he hadn't really changed all that much, despite his progress. Even though she wanted him to get better at being out and about, meeting new people and generally living a happy and fulfilled life, she loved her brother and she didn't really want him to lose all of those endearing qualities she was so use to.

"Ally, please." He groaned.
He hadn't thought to keep his voice as controlled just then, thanks to his embarrassment and of course Bella began to stir. He held his breath for a second and glanced at how she was irritably frowning as she cuddled in closer, gripping his t-shirt slightly before seeming to settle once again. He had to smile at how adorable she was in her sleep, not even realizing how distracted by the sight he'd become.

"Okay, so what have you come up with so far?" Alice had decided to get down to business, during his preoccupation.

She was overjoyed to be helping her brother with such a task, but it was getting late and she had to be into work this morning. If she kept getting caught up in these giddy little moments she'd never make it in on time today, since she'd opted to stay over with Jasper the night before. Having barely walked through the door of the apartment when the phone had grabbed her attention, she still needed to shower and dress this morning, not to mention, after her physically demanding night away, she needed some serious sustenance to get her energy level back on track after such a workout.

"Not much. I figured we could go someplace nice to eat and catch a movie later, but I sort of decided last minute that we could make a day of it and I'm a little stumped as to what we should do with the rest of our time."

"How opposed to people are you feeling today?" Alice wondered, knowing that the movie was well within his comfort zone, but she worried about his ability to venture into an actual restaurant, or any place else for that matter.

"As long as I've got Bella with me, I think I'll be alright. I want to try, but whether I succeed or not is still questionable." He admitted rather begrudgingly.

"Okay. I've got ideas, but you're gonna have to decide two things first. What are you really capable of and how much do you trust me?" Alice smirked.

"Can I hear the ideas before I decide?" Edward grinned, knowing that his sister would hate that.

"Edward! Do you want my help or not?" she pouted, thankfully keeping her volume in check.

"Of course I do, and you know I trust you. Why do you think I called?" he attempted to placate her wounded ego.

"Alright here it is. When Bella gets up, tell her to pack a bag. She should dress casually for now, but pack something nice for later. You don't have to be specific about what she should bring, but I suggest you pack along an extra shirt or two incase she forgets something to sleep in. Then you…"

"Alice?" Edward started to interrupt.

"Hear me out lover boy. I'm pressed for time here and I don't need you interrupting my brilliance." Alice chuckled.

"Okay." He decided with a touch of skepticism. No harm in at least hearing her out he figured, but he was already a little leery as to where this might be heading.

"Now," she went on to say before filling him in on the rest of her plan.

Edward laid there for a long moment thinking this through. He'd asked for special and memorable and by god she'd given him more than he would have ever be able to come up with on his own and then some.

"I'll call ahead and handle everything during my lunch break for tonight, you just have to deal with the getting the two of you there." Alice reassured him.

"Ally, I know I don't say it enough, but I love you." Edward told his sister. He didn't mean for such emotion to sneak into his voice, but somehow he was unable to control it.

"I've never doubted that, Edward."
She might have come back with some sort of playful retort had she not been able to sense just how genuine he was being. As it was she could hardly speak for how touched by his sincerity she was.
"I know you don't see it for yourself, but you have this incredible ability to tell someone what you're feeling without saying a word." She chose to inform him. "I'm happy to help anytime you want to impress Bella, but I want you to know that no matter what you do, she knows that you love her. You couldn't hide it even if you tried and therefore anything you do with her or for her is going to be incredibly special."

She ended the call then, apologizing for her need to get to work and Edward thanked her again, promising to call once he and Bella got on the road in a little while, to let her know exactly what time they might actually arrive in Seattle.

Alice showered and dressed for work on the double, but that didn't mean there wasn't a moment spent patting herself on the back for her quick thinking and well-controlled handling of Edward's little predicament. She was surprised that she hadn't even thought to come up with a few ideas that she might be willing to share before now, but she also hadn't thought that Edward would truly seek out her advice when it came to such things either. She had offered and made herself available, still she had to assume that Edward would either avoid the entire topic of dating as long as possible or he'd stubbornly rely on what he felt most comfortable in doing to begin with. Never would she have guessed that he'd be so willing to go all out and attempt something so out of character so early on. She was proud of him though, and hearing him say just how much he appreciated her help made it all the more satisfying. Yes, the love coach, Alice Cullen, was only half a step away from a gold medal it would seem.

After he'd set Bella's phone back on the nightstand where he'd found it, he covered the hand that she still had resting over his heart. He slowly turned his body until he was facing her and carefully went about lacing their fingers together.

"Baby," he said softly, trying to coax her into waking.

When she continued to slumber, he carefully shifted until his was in a better position to kiss her. He started first with her forehead, before lifting their joined hands. He took his time and enjoyed the feel of her delicate fingertips as he caressed them with his lips, before redirecting his attention to her invitingly rosy cheek.

"Come on Bella, it's time to wake up." He whispered near her ear, before kissing the spot he'd uncovered just beneath it, as he thought to move her fragrant hair aside.
She moaned a bit and snuggled even further into him, but she seemed content to settle once again, after briefly gripping his hand and tucking her head to rest against his chest.
Edward's shoulders were beginning to shake as he fought to control his amused laughter.

He'd been so desperate to wake her earlier, but she'd stubbornly refused, worrying him to the point that he was ready to start swearing from frustration. He knew that he couldn't forcibly make her rouse, but he'd been sorely tempted to try it earlier. Now however, he was more intrigued by her impressive ability to sleep so deeply than he was unnerved by it. He caressed her hair and smiled. Everything about this woman fascinated him and today he was going to treat her, as she deserved to be treated. He would show her what it meant to be loved by him—if she'd ever wake up that is.

His day had already had enough ups and downs; now with a full day of activities planned, thanks to his little chat with Alice, he was feeling the start of another upswing and he was more than ready to keep that momentum going. So, determined to get those beautiful brown eyes to open Edward diligently renewed his efforts.

He wiggled around until Bella sought to loosen her hold and he was again at a better angle to see her. He gently nudged her nose with his own to reposition her, before lightly kissing his way along her jaw line. Up then down again.

"Wake up for me, beautiful." He said, his voice deep and pleading as he took possession of her lips.
Again Bella moaned, but this time her hand let go of his and came up to rub gently along his stubble covered cheek, before threading her fingers into his disheveled hair.

"Edward," she sighed, as if finally recognizing him when he pulled away with a happy little grin.

"Good morning, my love." She heard him say as his lips lightly brushed over hers again.

"I fell asleep," she realized, almost asking for him to confirm it.

"Yes you did." He told her, "and you are undoubtedly the most difficult person on the planet to wake up." He chuckled, as he turned their bodies so that she was on her back as he carefully hovered above her.

She opened her eyes finally and looked up to see him smiling down at her.

"Do I get to sleep some more?" she wondered, secretly hoping that if she fell asleep again, perhaps he might insist upon waking her in a similar manner once more.

"Not right now, but maybe later." He smirked. "I've got plans for us and I need you awake for at least a few minutes so that we can get going."

"What are we doing?" she asked, obviously intrigued by his confident handling of the situation.

Before, when they spent some time talking quietly after she'd been startled awake following her nightmares, Edward had promised to fulfill his offer to take her out on a date, but at the time she'd seen his adorable shyness take over and stall whatever sort of plan he might have had in mind. Now, after she'd taken another little nap, this time blessedly safe within his arms, she'd awakened to find a very different version of him awaiting her.

"You are going to get dressed and pack up a change of clothes for later and I'm going to take care of everything else." He informed her with another confident little grin.

"Edward, I don't like surprises; you know that." She tried to re-inform him. Unfortunately the dazzled look in her eyes and the little smile stubbornly pulling at her lips told him otherwise.

"It's not really a surprise, since I'll tell you all about it on the way. And if you need some help deciding what to pack, I have it on good authority that Alice should be to work soon and is likely available to take a phone call." He went on to say.

That settled they stayed there smiling at one another for a moment, not saying a word, just sharing a few extra seconds of this time together. Bella reached up and let her fingertips gently brush the hair away from his forehead and then she allowed them to follow a path down the side of his face. His smile grew even brighter as she affectionately caressed his softening beard.

"I'll do whatever you ask on one condition," she offered in a soft voice.

Edward nodded slightly, encouraging her to continue.

"You're not allowed to shave today." She decided.

He had to laugh, not really expecting that to be her one stipulation, but so did she.

"Will you tell me why not?" he chuckled.

"Because," Bella took a deep breath and look down at his chest, unable to keep eye contact as she contemplated her confession, "I umm…I think its pretty sexy," she cleared her throat uncomfortably fighting another giggle, " but its more than that. When I can feel it, I don't have to worry; I know that its you." She looked up with a very reassuring smile to make sure that he got her meaning.
His amused expression immediately changed to one of concerned understanding.

"Your scent, your beard, your cold hands even, they all remind me that I'm with you and that I have nothing to be afraid of." she clarified. "It makes me feel safe."

Edward didn't know what to say to that right away, so he just pulled her in close and held onto her for a moment. Touching as her admission was it made Edward briefly wonder if he could truly live up to this ideal. Could he really keep her safe and protect her from all that she feared? Was his love going to be enough to make her forget all that she'd been made to suffer? And would she still want him if he couldn't?

"Stop freaking out on me, Sweetheart." Bella playfully insisted.
She'd been quite serious and sincere when she'd finally told him about her theory concerning this obsession she seemed to have with his facial hair, but she'd never meant to put any undue pressure on him. Unfortunately she could tell by his suddenly rigid posture and the feel of him beginning to unconsciously tug on the sleeve of her shirt that she had somehow triggered his anxiety.

"I've had a pretty rough night and I'm sort of looking forward to this fabulous date my boyfriend has apparently concocted while I was catching up on my sleep, so we can't be having these little setbacks." She teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"But what if I let you down and at some point you no longer feel that way?" he asked, his eyes downcast again and his fingers worrying at his own shirt collar now.

He wanted to say more, but Bella had become fully awake now and was ready to state her case.

"You are everything that I've ever wanted and never knew that I needed," Bella promised him. "This right here," she indicated his nervous actions, "this is how I know that you won't let me down; and this," she tenderly caressed his face, "the way that you look at me—it's all the reassurance I need to know that you love me, Edward." She kissed him then, softly and slowly, her lips carefully memorizing his.
"As long as you love me, Sweetheart, I promise to love you back."

His heart felt like it had been in a vise for the past few seconds, the dull ache from before increasing dramatically as he'd begun to panic. With Bella's encouraging smile and her thoughtful promises however, he'd finally felt the pressure release.

"In that case, let's go see if we can forget about…everything." He suggested with a very welcomed little smile, crooked as it was.