Here you go, lovelies. Updates might start getting slower. Spent all morning at the hospital with my kid (He's somewhat okay now) and I'm flipping my schedule around so not as much time to write anymore. I'll do my best to update ASAP. Anyhoo, Season 10 spoilers. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
"That was your mother? The godawful woman you told me about who abandoned you as a kid?" Rhia questioned once they were home.
"Yes."
"And you brought me home before I could tear her head off, why?" she questioned irritably.
"Not now, pet," he said, waving her off as he headed for his liquor cabinet.
"Fine," she grumbled, flopping onto the couch and pulling out her phone. "Can't even enjoy the fact that I'm engaged without something fucking ruining it."
She snapped a picture of her ring and sent it to Jake. He replied almost immediately.
You lucky bitch! It's gorgeous! Congrats!
Be luckier if I could actually get lucky. But nooooooo his mom's back in the picture.
Ouch, already don't like the inlaw?
Let's just say she's up there with my mom. Pretty bad.
Aw shit.
Mmhm. FML.
Idk what to tell you, boo.
Fuck it. I'm gonna go curl up in bed and admire my new ring by myself.
Gabe wants me to tell you he'll come cuddle you and for you to remind Crowley that he called dibs on doing you hand fasting. Apparently seeing you hitched enough it get him off his ass. *Bitch Face #7*
I'll pass it on though I don't know what a handfasting is. Google time. And oh no, not Bitch face #7. Gabe needs to get his shit together.
Old-timey marriage thing. Not like you can get married in a church to the King of Hell. Maybe your MIL can be your matron of honor? And he really really does. He can leave Heaven for you but not me?
Rhia snorted, her fingers flying across the keys as she replied.
Not a chance. And you're an ass for that. And I guess. I dunno. I'll talk to him about it next time I see him.
You love me. And if you can get my boyfriend's head out of his ass I'd love you for forever.
Questionable. And you already do.
You hurtful bitch :P Now I don't love you.
Yeah yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Headed to bed. Night.
Night
Rhia climbed to her feet. "Gabe said something about calling dibs on doing whatever a handfasting is and I'm headed to bed. Night." She didn't wait for a reply, just heading for the stairs.
She was half asleep when he came to bed, pulling her against him. I'm sorry, darling.
I must be dreaming if you're apologizing. Either that or that bitch really does have you all screwy.
I'll leave that for you to figure out.
She tossed a leg over him, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. He stroked her hair, humming what sounded like an old folk song as she drifted to sleep. When she awoke in the morning, he was gone.
"Figures," she muttered.
Grateful that it was the weekend, she rolled and went back to sleep. It felt like only minutes when she woke to Crowley calling her name.
"Go 'way," she mumbled, burying her face under the pillows.
"Are you going to sleep all day?" he asked. "Get up."
"No!" she groaned. "Lemme sleep. Five more minutes."
"It's almost noon. Up." His words were accompanied with a sharp smack to her rear.
Yelping, she picked her head up to glare at him with only one squinted eye. It was too damn bright in the room, in her opinion. With a huff, she dropped back down onto the bed, burrowing under the covers. Rolling his eyes at her antics, Crowley snapped his fingers, making the bedding vanish.
"Get. Up."
"Fine," Rhia grumbled. Reluctantly rolling out of bed, she padded barefoot to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her with a little more force than necessary.
"Why are you making me get up and be social?" she grumped, braiding her wet curls as she entered his study.
"Because I let you sleep in all morning, and we're going on a little trip."
"Trip? Where?"
"I'm running low on Craig, and thought you'd like to tag along."
"You woke me up for a liquor run? Seriously?" she sighed. "Fine."
He smirked and took her arm, porting them away. They appeared on seaside cliff, the sun glinting off the ocean from its position near the horizon.
"Okay, this is not a liquor store."
"Very observant pet. We're on the north tip of Caithness county." At her blank look, he elaborated. "Scotland, pet."
"You brought me all the way to Scotland for your whiskey?"
"It's only made and sold here. Figured you'd appreciate the view while we were here."
She smirked, knowing better than to take him at his word. "Really, now? Well lead on then, Fergus."
He shot her a dirty look. "Crowley. Call me that again, pet, and I might not be as forgiving."
She scowled. "Calm down, it was just a joke."
He ignored her, simply holding out his hand for her to take. She entwined their fingers, letting him guide her as she admired beautiful scenery, trying to take in everything at once. Her curiosity got the better of her as they reached the distillery, leaving his side to poke around while he ordered enough bottles to last a normal person at least a year.
"Rhiannon!"
"Huh? Oh, sorry." She sheepishly returned to his side in time to walk out.
He sent the crate home with a wave of his hand and returned her to the cliff they'd arrived on.
"Go on," he said, waving a dismissive hand. "I can feel you're itching to run."
Rhia grinned, giving him a quick kiss in thanks before shifting. She'd never been in an open landscape like this before and the canine in her was dying to run. The fact that he indulged both sides of her nature made her love him more. Her claws dug into the rich soil as she ran through the grass. A hare darted across her path and she chased after it. Catching it was easy enough and she brought the spoils of her hunt back to her Master. Dropping it at his feet, she wagged her tail, panting.
"I'm not kissing you until after you wash your mouth," he told her, looking down at the dead hare.
She shifted back, grinning. "Totally worth it."
He offered her his arm. "Aren't you glad I woke you for my 'liquor run'?"
"Very," she said, wrapping her arm through his just before he took them home.
The next few weeks seemed to drag for Rhia. She had winter finals to deal with and she was beyond stressed. Crowley honestly had no idea what to do with her, even after 3 years of dealing with her during finals week. She'd never been this bad before.
"If you incompetent fucks don't get your goddamn shit together and put your big demon panties on, I swear I'm going to invest in a holy water dunk tank and make every demon who comes in here bitching about something stupid take a turn in it!" she yelled after a rather trying day at court.
"Rhiannon," Crowley chided, doing nothing to hide his amusement.
She let out an irritable huff and moved to sit at his feet, still studying her textbook and binder full of notes. She drummed her fingers on her thigh in agitation, her ring catching a rare ray of sunlight that filtered through the window behind the throne.
"Your Majesty," said demon minion #3, slowly approaching the throne. "I have the soul reports for this month."
"Finally," Crowley snatched the scroll from the demon, looking through the numbers. "What's this, then? This is pathetic! The numbers have barely changed from last month!"
"Your Majesty, we've been doing our best- ach" the demon glanced down at the blade protruding from its chest.
"Your best," Rhia growled, eyes flashing in anger as she lowered her arm, "obviously isn't good enough."
"Pet, come here." He patted his thigh.
Glaring at the rest of the gathered demons, she sat on his lap. He placed a hand on the back of her neck, thumb firmly sweeping down the vertebrae.
"Darling, you can't kill all my subjects in a fit of temper. We've discussed this."
"He's not dead," she said petulantly, gesturing at the indeed still alive demon. "It was just a warning to stop whining like a little bitch and accept responsibility. If I wanted him dead, I would have used the blade you gave me, not one from the set Gabe gave me for Christmas last year."
"Stop maiming my subjects, then. That's my job. Understand?"
She made a face but nodded. She tried to slide off his lap but he held her firm, snapping his fingers for the demon she'd stabbed to hand him her study materials as well as return her blade. She slipped the blade back into its sheath and resumed reviewing her notes.
Put your headphones in if you don't want their incompetence interrupting you.
Why didn't I think of that sooner? You're a genius!
I know.
Rhia squirmed to be able to pull her phone out of her back pocket. Once she had her earbuds in, she dangled her legs over the arm of the throne, efficiently stretched out in his lap. By the time he finished dealing with the court, she was in a much better mood, her foot bobbing in sync with the music she was humming quietly.
I'm about to bring in my mother. Are you calm enough to deal with her without killing her just yet or do I need to send you home?
She looked up from her notes with a glare. I'll behave. As long as she does.
Good enough.
He snapped his fingers and gone were her lazy winter clothes. Her converse and hoodie had been replaced with tight jeans and a nice blouse, knee high stiletto boots on her feet. Her study material had been banished back to the house.
Trying to impress mommy, are we?
More like show her that you are more than my pet, love.
Ah, yeah. I can live with that.
Gerald marched Rowena into the throne room. Rhia made herself comfortable in Crowley's lap, smirking at the witch's cut up face. The witch had the audacity to jerk away from Gerald as if she didn't deserve to be treated like a criminal.
"Mother," Crowley greeted coolly.
"Fergus."
"Crowley," he corrected irritably.
"Fergus," she repeated, making Rhia growl. If she couldn't call him Fergus, neither could the witch.
He scoffed, looking down at his drink in the hand that wasn't holding Rhia to his lap. "So you haven't changed."
Rhia made a small gesture to Gerald, who walked out, shutting the doors to the throne room behind him.
"But you certainly have. King of Hell, bravo," Rowena said. "I always knew my boy was meant for big things."
"Was that before or after she left you?" Rhia mused, addressing her fiancé.
He shot her a warning look. "Really?" he asked his mother. "As I remember it, you said I would die in a gutter, covered in my own sick."
"And yet you still won't let me kill her," Rhia muttered.
"I was motivating you to do better, aim higher," she said, glaring at Rhia. "And obviously it worked."
Crowley gave her a doubtful look, having to tighten his grip on Rhia's thigh when he felt her irritation spike through the Bond.
Behave.
I am trying, dammit.
A smirk tugged at Rowena's lips. "How did you die?"
Rhia clenched her jaw shut in an effort to keep from speaking her mind.
"The point is, you hated me," Crowley stated.
"Oh please," Rowena said with a roll of her eyes.
It was his turn to get agitated. "You said you'd be back in a flash. And then you disappeared. I was eight years old. EIGHT!"
"Oh now you're being dramatic."
"I didn't even have a father!" Rhia placed a hand on his chest, trying to keep from tumbling out of his lap as he leaned forward to yell at his mother.
"Of course you had a father! You were just conceived during a winter solstice orgy, and it's not like I was taking names." Rhia shot her an utterly disgusted look. "What do you want me to say? I- I had a disagreement with the locals and when they set their hounds on me, I had to leave!"
"And never come back? For hundreds of years?"
"But I'm here now! We have a second chance. We can be a real family again, Fergus."
"CROWLEY!" he snapped. "And I have a family."
"Who? The demons? Any one of them would stab you in the back if they thought they could get away with it," Rowena said dismissively.
"Well it's a good thing I help keep them all in line then, huh?" Rhia said coldly. "Just like I will with you, witch."
"You mind your tongue, you filthy animal."
Rhia gave a feral smile, holding up her hand to show off her ring. "Is that any way to speak to your future daughter in law?"
"Fergus! You can't be serious! Marrying your Familiar? Giving her that kind of leeway will have her turning on you any minute!"
"And you wouldn't?" he scoffed. "Rhia stays, Mother. I can't say the same for you."
"No! Because we're family! We're blood! You can trust me! I can help you, unlike her." She slowly made her way up to the throne, ignoring Rhia's warning growl. "I understand you're angry. I understand you… hate me. And if you want to keep me locked away, then so be it. But understand that I'll always be your mother. And I'll always love you."
She dared to press a kiss on the top of Crowley's head and that's when Rhia lashed out, her fist connecting with Rowena's face as she pushed off Crowley's lap. The witch went sprawling onto the floor and Crowley had to grab Rhia by the waist to keep her from attacking further.
"Stand down, Rhiannon," he ordered.
She went limp in his arms, still glaring at the other woman. "Don't fucking touch him"
Gerald had entered the room after hearing the crash Rowena had made when she hit the floor.
"Get her back in her cell," Crowley snapped. "I'll be there momentarily."
"Yes sir," Gerald replied, roughly hoisting Rowena to her feet and dragging her out the throne room.
Rhia was still snarling at the door when Crowley grabbed a handful of curls and forced her to look at him.
"I told you to behave," he hissed.
"I did as I said," she argued, not even bothering to escape his painful grip. "I behaved as long as she did."
He released his hold on her. "Ignore it next time."
"Doubtful," she muttered, resting her head against his shoulder. "I can't stand her. I'm gonna be one of those women stuck with an awful mother-in-law."
"No, really? I couldn't tell," he said sarcastically. "Let's go."
She pouted but got up and let him port them down to the cells where Gerald was attempting to get Rowena back into her shackles.
"Stop!" she cried, spotting them in the doorway. "I know who's been smuggling souls up from Hell."
"Really? Pray do tell."
She nodded at Gerald. "Him."
"What?"
Rhia couldn't smell any deceit and she really could not stand Gerald. She'd been trying to find the son of the bitch smuggling souls topside for months but she'd been hitting dead ends. As much as she didn't like Rowena, it was worth hearing her out. A growl rumbled through her. The demon incarcerated for sneaking topside stood on her feet.
"It's true Mister… My lord. Gerald, he- we made a deal."
"She's lying!"
"Why? She's already dead. Ratting out who smuggled her topside won't do her any favors. So why would she lie, Gerald?" Rhia asked, her voice dangerously quiet.
Gerald grabbed Rowena by the throat and pushed her into the wall, slowly choking her.
"That's enough of that, Gerald," Crowley drawled.
But Gerald didn't let go as he was ordered. "I'll kill you, bitch!"
"That's enough, Gerald," Crowley barked.
But the demon never let go. Not until Rhia rammed her demon blade through him. She glared at the corpse as she said, "He told you that was enough, moron."
She turned to follow Crowley out of the cell as Rowena called out a thank you. He stopped at the cell door to look back at his mother and Rhia kept going, waiting at bottom of the stairs. He gave her an odd look when she remained in place as he started up the staircase a few minutes later.
I'll be there in a minute. No bodily harm. I promise.
Do hurry.
She grabbed Rowena by the arm as the witch walked passed, pressing her into the wall. They stood eye to eye.
"I may have saved your worthless hide back there, but don't think for a minute that I won't kill you without hesitation if you hurt or betray him. Keep that in mind, witch," Rhia threatened before pushing away and heading upstairs to find her demon waiting for her in the throne room.
Everything alright, pet?
Just peachy. Let's go home.
And Rowena has been warned. Fun. I'll try my best to hit the daily deadline for the next chapter. Let me know what you thought of this one in a review. ~WK
*P.S. Crowley was humming Loch Lomond. I've had Peter Hollens' version on repeat for about a week now.
