Chapter 29

An hour later found Nick's car driving down the road towards Billy's apartment complex. Billy sat leaning against the door, subconsciously trying to create distance between himself and Nick.

He was so tired. He'd refused to eat before he left, not wanting to face Hannah while her husbands seed was still seeping out of him. But with what Nick had done to him in the shower, he doubted there was a drop of it in him. It had been the strangest sensation. It had filled him to the brim. Nick had filled him to the brim with warm water and himself. He'd felt too full, almost painfully so. He realised as he sat in the warm car, still feeling cold and empty despite his legs still being weak from the orgasm Nick had torn from him, that it was almost like a physical representation, replica... poor imitation of what Nick's affection had made him feel only days before; full, warm, dazed and his legs weak from pleasure.

But his bubble had burst.

He was embarrassed now that he had gathered himself that he hadn't stopped crying until - a heavy tear slipped down his cheek. Fuck. He wiped it off and sniffed. He could see his reflection in the window; there were no street lights, so the glass functioned like a mirror against the black night. His lips were red and swollen; he didn't know if it was from kisses or crying... He supposed it didn't matter. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were glassy and his hair was falling gently into his eyes.

"Just gotta get some basics," Nick said as he pulled into a gas station.

Billy didn't reply.


"Sweetheart?" Hannah knocked on Lucas' door.

"Yeah mom?" Lucas called.

Hannah opened the door to see her son a this desk, doing his homework, "I wanted to talk to you..." she sat down on his bed. "Okay..." she exhaled, "How would you feel about a little brother or sister, Lucas?"

Lucas just stared blankly at her. "I know Billy's pregnant, mom. I've known for a while I'm just relieved Dad told you everything."

Hannah seemed to deflate, "Oh... but... you don't mind then?"

"I don't really have a say in the matter," Lucas shrugged and went back to his homework. "But I thought you'd be more pissed..."

Hannah frowned, "Why would I be angry - and mind your language? Billy can't keep his child, he's so young - and we have the resources -"

"I meant about Dad getting him knocked up in the first place... and Billy's..." Lucas stopped to think, "- thirty-seven."

Hannah just stared at him while his words sunk in, "What?" she asked, not believing what she'd heard.

"What?" Lucas asked, finally looking up at her.

She almost didn't dare ask the question. "You said... is Billy's baby... Nick's? Is Nick the father?"

All the colour drained from Lucas' face, "Shit..." he muttered under his breath, "I swear, he said he'd told you everything!" he hurried to say.

Horror dawned on Hannah's face, "You knew?"

"Just for a little while -" Lucas said, "Mom I'm sorry-"

Hannah shook her head, "He said... he said Billy was just a friend... and that he'd wanted us to take care of his child..."

Lucas frowned and shook his head, "I... Billy has never said anything about giving up the baby, mom. He's... he almost lost it and he was so scared and upset... I don't think anyone who didn't want a baby would be that..." he trailed off.

"How long?"

"He's eleven weeks...I think..."

"No, how long have they... been together?"

Lucas shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, and hating that he was the one who ended up telling him mom. He'd hoped- completely unrealistically, that she'd never have to know. "Since Brendan," he said quietly.

"Is Billy the only one?"

Lucas shook his head.

Hannah inhaled shakily. "How many?"

"I don't know... all he said... Billy's been the longest lasting...he didn't feel like he was cheating cause he never cared for any of them; they were just... convenient," he said, unknowingly echoing his fathers words from earlier. He bit his lip, the reality of the situation sinking in on him. "Mom...?"

Hannah looked up at him. "Please don't try to protect your father, Lucas..." she said, her voice shaking. "I can't -"

"I heard some nurses talking in the hospital," he started. "I... I heard them talk about... a pregnant guy who... was brought in for assault injuries by the police..."

Hannah frowned, "Yes he said he was -"

"That's not what I was going to say, mom. They said... that there were too many injuries... too old... and too recent -" Hannah saw her sons knuckles whitening on the chair. "- and that he had internal scarring... layered... and that he'd been put on high alert for," Lucas took a breath, "-violent, sexual and psychological abuse..."

Hannah just stared at Lucas, her eyes wide and her mouth agape.

"I saw the bruises, mom," Lucas's voice was shaking, "On his arms and his hips and stomach- they were too old... he flinches at loud sounds, like when you put the plates down, and he's... I just dismissed it. I though, 'dad would never...' but he always does what dad tells him to... and when dad took him in from the garden... he was crying, mom. He looked scared..."

Slowly, dots started connecting in Hannah's mind. Brendan. Joe Darley. If Billy was the same Darley. If this Billy also was Morzan's Billy, who'd been pregnant when he was killed twenty-two years ago? How many 'Billy's' could there be in Boston, roughly 30-40 years of age, capable of carrying children? The odds were - "Lucas," Hannah said, fear growing in her stomach, "Could you stay with your boyfriend for a few days?"

Lucas frowned. "Sure?"

"His parent's wont mind?"

"He had his own place..." Lucas said slowly.

"Call him, I will drive you there," Hannah said, "Pack your school things and some clothes."

"Mom-"

"Lucas... I love your dad, but I know what kind of man he was before he married... what he did for a living. What you're saying... if he's capable of it, to someone carrying his child...Lucas," she said, tears in her eyes, "By god I wished it wasn't so, but... you are my son, and I have to be sure. I have to check, okay. I have to make sure."

"What about Billy?"

"I hate that Billy is sleeping with my husband, carrying his child, and was under my roof... but if what you heard is true and if what I'm thinking is true, then I'm not sure if Billy is... a willing party in all of this, Lucas."

Lucas frowned, "I'm not sure what you mean, mom," he said.

Hannah shook her head, "I pray that I am wrong, Lucas. Now pack your things."


Nick's car swung into the car park in front of Billy's apartment building. Nick made a face as he heard gun shots echoing in the distance. He looked up at the run down place, "Are you sure you want to stay here?" he asked, "It's not healthy -"

"I'll be fine," Billy spoke quietly and opened the door.

"Billy wait -"

"I can get out on my own -" Billy snarled, suddenly angry. He pulled himself out of the car, only for his legs to buckle. Nick got out quickly and ran around the car and caught the younger man as he could barely hold himself up by the car door.

Billy fought briefly with him, but his exhausted state and his injured, oestrogen flooded body was no match for Nick's solid frame. "Don't fight me -" Nick murmured into Billy's ear, his hot breath ghosting over his skin.

"Don't act like you give a shit -" Billy hissed back.

"I do give a shit," Nick said, still calm, "You're not convenient, baby, you're anything but convenient," he said, his arms locked around the younger man. "I just said that to get Hannah off my back..."

Billy tried to pull away again, but to no avail, "And now you're just humouring me -" he hissed resentfully.

"Why would I bother to do that?"

"Why didn't you say it earlier? When I was -" Crying. But Billy refused to say it.

"Because you caught me off guard. And it took me a while to reach that conclusion," Nick leaned them against the car. With one hand he grabbed Billy's bag from the back seat and slung it over his shoulder. "C'mon. Let's get you to bed."

Billy was embarrassed to admit that Nick practically carried him up to his apartment. He just didn't have the strength.

When they came up to the apartment, and opened the door, Billy was surprised to find his living room full of his friends. Bodie, Heco, Tim, Ryan, Jessie and Joey, along with all of their respective girlfriends were camped out on his couch, having pizza and beer. And smoking.

Billy wrinkled his nose; for the love of God that smelled like Death in a Can. Capital letters fully deserved.

"Air that smoke out, would you," Nick said as he came in to see the air thick with smoke.

The crew looked questioningly at Billy.

"Do as he says," Billy muttered, knowing they would catch on to listen to the older man in other matters as well. He was just grateful Nick let him walk on his own in front of his crew, even though he could feel the ghosting of a hand on the small of his back.

The scent of greasy pizza, smoke and beer made Billy gather green around the gills. As soon as they got into his bedroom, the ghostly touch became firm as Nick picked him up and carried him the last few steps to the bed and laid him down. Silently, he helped him change out of his clothes and into the woollen undergarments he'd brought to the hospital, now clean and no longer smelling like hospital. Seeing the deep purple bruises on his pale skin, next to the black ink of the tattoos, and the pink smudges of what would be bruises in the morning made him frown. Gently, he caressed his thumb over the shallow scrape on his knee.

Billy didn't know what to make of the gentle caresses. Only slightly more than an hour or two ago he'd mercilessly fucked him against the shower wall as he'd cried his heart out. Now he was kissing his bruises.

"You're not a convenience, Billy," Nick muttered against his skin. "I thought I could just have you make this baby, take it and never think twice about you, but... how do you get under my skin like this?"

Billy didn't answer. He gasped quietly as Nick gently kissed him. He closed his eyes as Nick pulled away and didn't dare look at him. He felt the soft fabric of the woollen sweater pulled over his head and let him pull his hands through the sleeves without any trouble.

Taking care of Billy like this made Nick feel better. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone. His finger caressing the soft skin, he pulled warm socks on to his feet and put his feet into the legs of the trousers. Billy tried to stand up on his own, but Nick leaned him against his chest as he let his hands run along the length of his body, the dip of his spine and over his bum, his fingertip softly brushing past his entrance.

He knew he should be pissed that Nick took such liberties with his body, but he wasn't. It made him feel... like Nick was finally giving him the attention he'd been craving for days. "Oh-" fingertips pressed inside his sore body, opening him up. But they didn't go any further. They didn't rock inside him, or press for his sweet spot. They were just there; claiming him. It made his knees go weak as Nick's hot breath on his neck made goose bumps appear on his arms.

A gentle knock on the door made Nick slip his fingers out and quickly right Billy's clothes, but he didn't pull away; his arms still resting on his hips. "Yeah?" Billy answered.

"Uh," Joey stuck his head in. He paused as he saw them, but otherwise tried not to show any reaction, "We've aired it out - the guys wants to know if you're up for a film and some pizza? We've got more coming..."

Billy nodded, "Yeah, we'll join in a sec, 'kay Joey?"

Joey nodded, "Yeah."

"I better go," Nick said, not minding that Billy's son was still in the room. "There's food and some basics in your bag..." he trailed off as his hands slipped from Billy's waist. Did it make any sense that Billy only felt the cold where his warm hands had been? "I'll be in Germany for the most part of two weeks... you've got an appointment with Dr. Wilson every Friday at three o'clock- don't forget them and call me afterwards. And get enough sleep. And call me if there is anything-"

"I will -" Billy tried to cut him off.

Nick nodded and gave him a light kiss on the lips, then he turned to Joey, "And you call me if there is anything, got it? Don't let him go all 'mama-knows-best' on you," he warned with a light scold.

Joey nodded, "Yes, sir," he replied respectfully.

With that, Nick picked his wedding ring off the night stand and left.

But he didn't put it on.


A/N; I know this seemed like a quick turn-about for Billy, but remember he's emotionally unstable. He does very much connect Nick and Morzan (his ex and Joeys dad) in his heart, but he's having trouble separating the violent!nick with the loving!nick as he's very used to the contrast; Morzan would be the same lover/ganglord, Billy himself has always been a mother/father/ganglord, Nick has also lived that contrast. Billy also can't help but care for Nick on some level; whether its genuine or a reaction to his situation; lashing on to someone that reminds him greatly of the man that laid down his life to protect him and their son, we don't know yet.

You've probably realised, but Nick is having some trouble as well. He's struggling to reconcile his old life with his current, and the emotional backlash of Morzans death. He's also struggling with Hannah's secret, his feelings for Billy, their child, his guilt and his anger, all of which Billy is an all too easy target for with Joey's life hanging over his head and his own declining health and his love for his new baby.

Do you have any wishes for future chapters?