Rin stood in a white void, looking around at "scenery" that refused to change. It wasn't her first time in this ridiculous blank space, and she guessed it would hardly be the last. Her dreams were, apparently, the best time for somebody with a great big voice and plenty of self-importance to—

The void fell away as soon as she started silently complaining. Color punched through white, parting like cloud cover in the face of cold sunlight. Everything blurred, blues and greens whirling like a spring flood, until it all stopped.

Rin held up her hands. Her arms were crossed by lines of light and dark, split by a purplish-gray forest of dead trees and what resembled ash more than snow. Large shapes shifted out of reach of the cold sunlight, deep enough in the woods that it was hard to tell they'd existed at all. Deep impressions in the snow proved the lie instead. Half-covered footprints of beasts ranged all around her, spiraling outward from the spot Rin stood.

The earliest shift to autumn was always morning frost, in Rin's experience, but these trees turned faster than Konoha ones. Didn't they? Maybe this was some place to the north. Rin didn't know much about this world, but hopefully some facts stayed true.

This was a forest. Fall would hit the entire continent eventually. The ashy woods might've been…strange, but Rin already knew the world was full of things that were far more off-putting. Giant forests of mushrooms featured high on the list, and people told stories of even wilder places.

But why in the world was she dreaming of such an unfamiliar place? Especially in one of these dreams?

"I won't learn anything if I just keep standing here," Rin murmured, just to hear her own voice. The words came out muddled, as though trying to hear voices through two floors of apartments. Any harsh sounds softened to near-unrecognizability.

Dreams were strange. Had been strange, ever since landing here. Ever since being separated and getting strange powers and not being able to understand anything that happened because this entire culture was made of foreigners.

Rin had enough trouble figuring out people in a place where she knew all the rules. Ignorance killed.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked herself. "Put one foot in front of the other. You know better than this."

The first step was always to ask a question. Rin stepped forward, making no sound in the destroyed forest, and thought very clearly, Is this a dream?

Rin had never attended a therapy session herself, but she knew many shinobi did in recent years. She had read many books published on the topic and on anything else related to neuroscience or brains, back when choosing a primary medic-nin specialization was still her main worry. There weren't that many books total—especially compared to what strange treasures Kei had gotten out of her various misadventures—but rin devoured them nonetheless. She needed information to make a hypothesis.

"You can test if you're really dreaming," Rin muttered allowed. "Go on. Push something. Check your footprints. What changes because you're here?"

She looked down. Sandaled footprints followed her to the next clearing.

Oh dear.

She didn't try to punch a tree next. The very idea seemed like overkill, even if it would make her feel better. Instead, she touched a tree trunk more carefully and peeled a thin strip of dead bark free. It crumbled in her hands.

Hm. That data point was a bit wobbly.

Rin dusted off the remains of the bark. If she had a book, she could test whether she could still read here. Thus far, the evidence pointed more toward "not a dream." She could try flying next and see what happened.

"Who's there?" asked a voice nothing like hers, and Rin wheeled on the spot.

Or tried to. Everything moved so slowly in a dream, but she could spot the stranger without trouble. He wasn't trying to hide.

The person standing next to the moss-laden tree was taller than her, with ears longer than knives and a face half-marred with pressure scars. On the same side, a green-toned arm and shoulder and half of a torso gave way to wood with pink lichen and flowers in the roughly correct shape, branchlike hand reaching in her direction. Opposite, an empty eye socket was occupied instead by a pink flower. The remaining eye gleamed the crimson of an active Sharingan.

She'd know that face anywhere. Rin just hand to hang onto him long enough for this to stop feeling like a cruel taunt.

"Rin?!" Eye wide and gaping like a fish, Obito's wooden arm fell from shock alone, After a split second, he reached for her again. "Rin, are you—"

Share your results. Let him know you're real. Rin's eyes stung with tears as she reached for him. "Obito, where—"

Rin snapped awake to the sound of Isobu's little voice.

"It is time to be awake! I have kept watch for all the hours of nothing happening."

Isobu's little voice was worse than any alarm clock RIn had ever owned. And not accidentally destroyed.

Waking up after another hard night in the middle of the woods was not Rin's idea of fun. Without a tent, she doubted it was anyone's first choice. Digging cold-weather cloaks and longer sleeved shirts out of Kei's pack mitigated the worst of it, and having a giant wolf for a pillow helped. Obito still being missing did not. It was one of those mornings where Rin needed mental arithmetic in order to, eventually, mark it down as somewhere south of a positive experience.

What she wouldn't give for a hot shower to melt the entire night away. It wasn't her first night dreaming of people too far away to touch, but she'd found Kei and Kakashi and Isobu since. There was no reason she could see for why Obito had to be the only one they hadn't found.

She couldn't dwell on that. It'd ruin the morning even more.

Rin sat up with a yawn and an entire rabbit's worth of white fur tangled in her hair. She started to fish the strands out of her clothes even as the movement disturbed one of her other bedmates.

"Are you human in your brain today?"Isobu's reedy little voice demanded, and his three tails emerged from under one of Kakashi's forelegs. As his hands pulled on Kakashi's face, he went on, "The sun is here, and you have been asleep for long enough that this annoys me."

"Human brains wake up slower than yours, Isobu," Kei's voice muttered.

"I do not care. I can also make the sound of a rooster whenever I want to, you know."

"Please don't."

Kei and Isobu had the weirdest arguments. Was this what it was like to have a Tailed Beast for a brain-roommate?

To Rin's left, Kei sat up groggily and rubbed at her eyes. The dark circles there were worse than usual, but not the worst Rin had ever seen them. Part of the difference was the weird pink color Kei's skin was now, but the last two days had not been great experiences.

Rin hadn't talked about the time she had to spend in abandoned houses and in three different disguises—not yet—but hoped it wouldn't come up anytime soon. Kei didn't need to worry about her. It was over now, even if this brand new phase of being forest vagrants was ongoing. With three friends, Rin had to admit even this was an improvement.

Kakashi, for his part, rolled over and dislodged all three of his friends as he finally lurched to his feet. Isobu went flying into a tree trunk, bouncing off and landing in a pile of leaves. Kei hit the ground shoulders-first, swearing under her breath. Rin, as the only one awake enough to avoid trouble, brushed dirt and moss from her clothes when she got up. She was still pulling a rock out of her sandal when the rest of her friends sorted out who was where. And how many limbs they had.

Rin was the only one besides Isobu who didn't have that problem.

"Well? Look me in the eye and tell me to stop bothering you." Isobu climbed up onto an exposed root, growling more than Rin had ever heard him.

Kakashi's ears pointed forward, eyes focused on the little monster, and he barked.

"Rude." Still, there was no further argument.

Rin picked him up and stroked his shell. "Morning, Isobu-chan. Nothing tried to hurt us, did it?"

"It would be far less boring if anything had."Isobu lifted his little arms and shuffled up Rin's arm until he clung to her back, like a pack she didn't have. His belly was softer than most of the cheap backpacks she used to have, too. "Now we need to go back into town and chase down circus people."

"We know where all of the carnies are." Kei kept her left hand bunched up in Kakashi's fur, as though she'd forgotten how to let go. "We only got kicked out of the tavern, not arrested. I don't… I'm not sure it's the same for them. But we should find out."

Rin wanted to protest. Kei didn't have the time or energy to spend helping the people at the circus. Even if Rin hadn't been the next best thing she had to a primary physician, Kei's exhaustion was plain as the horns on her head. Wanting to help people didn't mean she was in the best shape to do it, or even the best choice for the mission. Kakashi's situation was eating through her resources, and Rin worried for both of them.

(Less so for Isobu. Their Tailed Beast friend was brutally self-sufficient.)

But because saying so would've taken away the one part of this situation that Kei could maybe control, Rin bit the inside of her cheek to stay quiet.

Kakashi made a chuffing noise. He edged out of Kei's grip and tilted his head so his Sharingan met Rin's stare. When their eyes met, his human voice said clearly in her head, You know how Kei is. She feels like she owes these people for their kindness. He allowed Rin to scratch his ears, then went on, Despite what I look like, I'm not in danger. Not really. You said so.

"I did." Rin was reconsidering that stance. Kakashi's second wolf episode was scary enough. "But still, Kakashi…"

I don't need minding right now. But Kei needs to settle her nerves and take a nap. It's just that it has to happen in that order. Kakashi blinked and the spell ended.

"Fair enough." Rin paused. "That was…strange. Obito's never done that with me before."

"And Kakashi hasn't with me. But I guess we're all learning things this week." Kei took the chance to stretch until her joints popped, then sighed. "Into town with us, I guess."

Isobu piped up from Rin's back, saying, "Do you think the dog trick will work again?"

Kakashi sighed.

Rin reached back and patted one of Isobu's little hands. "We can hope."

Maybe she'd have a chance to talk about her strange dreams later.


Rin and I were not allowed in the inn. Kakashi was definitely not allowed within thirty paces of the place due to his status as a walking violation of local leash laws. Isobu had a hard time getting people to listen to him, and only the smallest possible portion of that difficulty was because his head was less than half a meter off the ground. At most.

But what else was Transformation Jutsu for?

My usual standard for the technique involved choosing two people I knew and mixing up their physical traits until I had a unique disguise. Given the severe shortage of Asian or Asian-equivalent people around here, I decided to stretch that a little further and come up with a cross between Nico Robin and Major Samantha Carter. Dark hair, Caucasian features with a much sharper nose, but also averaging their heights so mine didn't become unreasonable.

Of course, I spent at least a couple of hours searching for entirely different solutions to different problems. Breakfast was acquired for all, barring the literal force of nature known as Isobu. He made threats about eating people all the time, but didn't really have any need for calories. Rin and I did, so we had protein bars and other rations from my emergency supplies. Always.

"There ought to be some way to make this less awful." Tiefling tongues apparently couldn't enjoy what amounted to salted, dried meat any more than human ones did. At least not with this much salt. Bleugh.

"It helps if you cook it, Kei. In a stew. Like you're supposed to."

"Takes too long."

"You are a disaster person."

Kakashi, on the other hand, spent the remainder of his morning and a bit of the early afternoon chasing deer. Feeding him through the socially-accepted method of actually buying food would've cost more than Rin's little stockpile of stolen gold. According to him, his wolf palate was a lot less picky than his human one—at least when it came to raw meat. Anything else was as likely to get rejected for different reasons. As far as I knew, he'd never outright refused vegetables before. Even cabbage.

"Do you think I could chase him with a leek?"

"Isobu, no." Maybe we could get him a pumpkin later.

There was a shriek, and a crack, and Kakashi dragged a deer carcass back to us five minutes later. Though he had it by the throat, its head could've fit fully in his mouth. After that, brunch was quick, but not neat. That was too much to ask. At least eating most of a deer made up for us not being able to feed him normally.

What was the actual calorie requirement of a huge predator, anyway? It was the only question that came to mind as I helped clean his muzzle afterward. It was a problem for the next time he ate almost forty kilos of herbivore in one sitting, but still a problem.

Maybe I'd get over the sound of bone crunching in huge jaws eventually, too.

It was two or three in the afternoon by the time all that chicanery was over. Friggin' late nights ruined me.

A quick check around the Nestled Nook revealed a few more Crownsguard around, to complement the mess around town. One blocked off an alleyway that, once upon a time, might've been a decent side-entrance in case we'd avoided getting booted from the premises. There were paired patrols here and there, staking out bits of town in case someone else was going to haul off and murder a neighbor.

None of them were looking for a human specifically. Their gazes slid right over me like I didn't exist, but they all seemed on edge otherwise. Having not seen a newspaper in this world and not heard a town crier, the situation still read like something had changed.

What in the world did the investigation team get up to last night?

I didn't instantly spot the set of six goofballs in the bar when I went in, but a quick conversation with Yorda revealed they were apparently up in their rooms. And not able to legally leave. Hooray for house arrest. It was one of those things that I didn't have to worry about yet. Putting minor inconveniences aside, I headed up the stairs and started knocking on doors like I had any fucking clue which rooms were now the group's hidey-holes.

I was probably going to get myself arrested at some point. Perhaps even in a way that would stick.

"Question," I said, when Fjord opened the door. I didn't give him a chance to go "What the fuck?" at an apparently random stranger addressing him that abruptly, instead continuing with, "What the hell happened last night? The entire town's on alert, and Rin and I were only gone for ten hours."

Fjord blinked. He opened his mouth, hesitated as the sound of my voice sank in, and said, "Come in and we'll talk about it. Molly's over here."

"Thanks." Once the door was shut behind me, I made a beeline for the window sill and dragged the curtains shut.

"Who—?" Molly began.

"It's Kei." I dropped the disguise in a puff of white chakra smoke before I'd turned fully around. My tail did not smack into the bedpost and make me wince. Absolutely not. "Sorry about not being around last night. Had to sleep in the woods after getting kicked out. Are all of you okay?"

Molly, who had previously been stretched out on the bed with his tarot cards out on the sheets, rolled more or less upright. "That's…a bit of a story. How long can you stay?"

Tell the others I'm going to be a while.

Of course.

To Molly and Fjord, I said, "As long as I have to. Hit me."

Quite a lot happened overnight, as it turned out. Of course, the group snuck out of the inn exactly as they'd said they would. They tried looking for cloaked figures and gotten nowhere, so everyone gave up on that so they could head to the circus grounds. The supreme detective duo of Nott and Jester (their words) even ended up cracking the case wide open from there, while the rest of the crew tried to puzzle out circus interpersonal drama.

"I'm sorry, Kylre is a fiend?" I heard myself demand, torn between confusion and mentally kicking myself. Hadn't Isobu already told me that something was off about Kylre? Rin, too. Thanks to not taking them seriously, four people were dead. "I thought he was a lizardman. Or, well, something along those lines? You seemed to like him!"

"It was a shock to me, too." Molly sighed. His horn ornaments jingled as he leaned back to stare at the ceiling. "And I consider him a friend, but so far it seems like he's the only one who could've made those…things. We don't even know if he did it on purpose."

"Setting those things on us felt pretty purposeful to me," said Fjord. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Especially after one of them cleaned your clock."

"In my defense, I thought sticking a sword through its ribs would stop it. It stops most things!" Molly replied, though the dark bruise along his jaw told me he'd learned that lesson. He made a twisting motion with his hand. "Anyway, continue."

"Right, well, after we killed both of those things and ditched the bodies, we tried to figure out where Kylre and Toya went." Fjord nodded toward the shaded window. "Near as we can tell, the only place to hide are the islands in the middle of the Ustaloch there. The frog prints went right into the water."

"Ah." Well, shit. At least I knew where a fight might break out.

Fjord focused on me again. "Got somethin' to share?"

"I've been there before," I said, resting my hand on my hip. "I guess the best thing to do would be to join your group on the island."

"'Your' group? O Kei, you're a part of the circus, too," Molly pressed. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "After all, with Mona and Yuli off to who the hell knows where, we might have an opening. Two openings." He sighed again. "If there even is a carnival after this. Gods damn it."

The open invite was sweet, but— "Let's deal with the problem in front of us first." I pointed toward the wall. "Is everyone else in the next few rooms?"

"Should be, 'cept for Nott and Caleb." Fjord's catlike eyes seemed to glow a bit in the mild dimness of the room. Weird. "Thing is, since you're not in dire need of exoneration either, maybe you should hang out with us until we all regroup and figure out a plan?"

It wasn't a bad idea. If only my priority list didn't have my friends very firmly at the top. I opened my mouth to answer.

There was a knock nearby.

All of us froze for a heartbeat. Fjord was the closest to the door, Molly had the persuasive powers of a tree stump, and I was not supposed to be here. Instinct took over for all of us.

Molly grabbed his cards, as though he'd just been sorting out his deck to one end or another. Fjord stood against the door like a paranoid apartment-dweller, so he clearly planned to open the door like there was a chain lock involved.

I turned into a cat. Poof, no more tiefling-Kei. Just an ordinary, gray tabby of a street cat. I even made sure the form was missing hair from fake mange. I bounded off the bed and slunk under it, making me the next best thing to invisible in this confined space.

"What the fuck ," Molly and Fjord hissed at once.

No time for that.

"Meow," I said. Quite distinctly said. As a cat. It was not terribly convincing.

Transformation Jutsu was such a fun skill.

In the next room over, Jester and Beauregard's voices bounced back and forth with those of two Crownsguard. Or two unknown men. But really, the voices sounded too official to be anything other than cops.

When that conversation was over, the Crownsguard really did knock on the door.

Once Fjord deigned to open it, one of them said, "Sorry to disturb, the investigation will require you in about three hours." It was not the most confident announcement, perhaps as a direct result of dealing with Jester for more than fifteen seconds.

Fjord shut the door in their faces.

Molly managed to snicker once the door slammed shut, and I waited until booted feet stomped down the stairs before I wove through chair legs and padded to the middle of the floor. Once we'd settled again, I poofed out of my disguise.

Brushing imaginary dirt from my pants, I said, "Law enforcement is so much more annoying than I remember."

I wasn't a part of the military police or the civilian version. I didn't want to be an MP, or deal with them, or any of that. All my experiences with "lawful" authorities who knew they held power tended to be on the receiving end, no matter how flimsy the justification.

Being a not-pirate for several months in a row really fucked with my perceptions of how a foreign society was supposed to work.

"I have several questions about that little trick," Molly began with eyebrows raised, "but the most important one is this: Are you going to help us avoid being executed? I think tonight might be the final confrontation, unless Kylre's skipped town."

I nodded. "I'll head out and tell Rin and the others what the plan…could be? I don't know if we actually have a plan."

Might as well not bother. The only times a plan I made ever worked out was when it was excessively simple, like "attack that guy" and "run the fuck away." Hell, even recon attempts were like as not to end in epic disaster.

"Go ahead. We won't have anything until the wizard gets some reading done." Molly might've rolled his eyes, but it was hard to tell given that they were as featureless as mine. I could just barely tell where he was looking based on his reactions.

I was about to slip out the door, donning my new human disguise in another puff of smoke, when a gloved green hand cautiously blocked my way. One hand on the doorframe Fjord said, "Question, before you go."

Eh, I could spare a few minutes. It wasn't like I couldn't just send a thought directly to Isobu. "Shoot."

Fjord blinked, then said, "The other day, you didn't mention anything about fightin', just helping with the investigation and clearin' our names. I figure the wolf-dog would be happy for a chance to bite somethin', but you sure you're up for this?"

Over on his bed, Molly burst out laughing. It sounded like a murder of crows going to war. Kind of charming despite itself.

It wasn't remotely the first time someone figured that. Just because I didn't whip out a greatsword in front of them and go to town didn't mean I couldn't. But then, if someone like Fjord had already met and fought zombies, and also seen Yasha's much more impressive biceps, his reaction was probably reasonable. It wasn't like I ran around advertising my strength while I was still testing the waters.

"Molly, I don't think that's quite called for—"

"It's kind of you to be worried." I elbowed my way past him while Molly refused to be helpful, but not hard enough to cause pain. "But I'm volunteering, and that means I accept the risk. To me, anyway."

To his credit, Fjord accepted my refusal to change my bullheaded mind. "All right. See you soon, then." Fjord stuck out his hand. "Shake on it?"

"Barring something else going wrong, yes." But I shook his hand anyway. Why not? Depending on how dangerous Kylre was, it might be the only camaraderie our groups would manage before everything really went to hell.

A pun? Really?

Be sure to tell Kakashi that one.

…Have it your way. Pah.