Chapter Twenty-Nine
The Long Road
..
"How do people sleep on these flat things?" Edward said in the morning, prodding at the bed with his tail. "My back hurts."
"You didn't sleep on the bed," Bella pointed out. "You slept on top of me." And he had, wrapped around her as tightly as possible, his tail twined around her leg. Even as exhausted as he was, his eyes had flown open every time she moved, as if terrified she was about to leave him again.
"Did I squish you?"
Bella shook her head. Truthfully, it hadn't been a very comfortable night, but it was more than worth it to have him back in her arms where he belonged.
They left Jacob's bedroom, hand in hand. Didyme was frying something in a pan over the fire and Jasper was seated at the table, sipping from a cup. "Good morning," he said.
Edward sat down on one of the chairs gingerly, as if afraid it might collapse under his weight. He wiggled uncomfortably and gave the floor a longing look. The only chair in which he usually sat was his throne and it was wide and padded with pillows. This was hard, bare wood, human-sized, so Edward had the awkward look of an adult seated at a child's tea party set.
"Good morning." Didyme turned from the fire and scraped some food from the pan onto the plate in front of Jasper. Jasper washed his hands in the bucket beside the table and dug in ravenously. "Are you hungry?" she asked Edward. Bella took a seat beside him.
"Yes, thank you," Edward said as his stomach rumbled loudly. The smell of the cooking meat made his mouth water. He wrapped his tail around Bella's ankle and scooted his chair closer to hers.
"He hasn't eaten in days," Jasper commented.
"Oh, dear." Didyme added extra food to the pan. "What about you, Bella?"
"I still haven't got my appetite back," Bella said.
"You need to eat," Edward coaxed her. "For me? Just a few bites?"
"All right," Bella conceded. She would do just about anything to make him feel better. The physical manifestations of his pain- the abrupt changes in his appearance- frightened her a little. She wanted the youthful, vibrant Edward back.
Jasper's communicator chimed. He picked it up and read the message. "I'm getting the final casualty reports." He tapped at the pad.
"Oh, God, the invasion!" Bella slapped her forehead. "I can't believe I forgot! What happened?"
"We won," Jasper said simply. "Lapush is back in Federation hands."
"Was it ... was it bad?"
"In some areas. We took the space port, first. Most of the troops there just laid down their slingshots and knelt in surrender as our troops poured out of the ships. There was some resistance, those who refused to surrender to drones, but it was over in a few minutes. I have to admit, when I got that report, it made me overly-optimistic that every target would be as easy, but that wasn't the case. Felix made hysterical appeals on vid for the Lapushi to fight off the drones who were trying to 'take over' and told people to lock up their own drones, lest there be an uprising. On the last part he was right. It was truly inspiring. Drones from all over the planet fought the rebel forces, some armed with only their claws and teeth. In a few areas, we entered to find that the drones had already taken down all resistance and were waiting to turn control over to us. But in others, there was fierce fighting. Some of the rebels refused to be taken alive."
Bella winced. "Did we lose many of our soldiers?"
Jasper was grim. "We were outnumbered and the rebel forces were better trained. The drones fought so bravely, Bella, refusing to give up, refusing to surrender. I honestly don't think we could have won with a traditional army of this size. They would have fallen back to entrenched positions, but not the drones. They knew that this was their chance to prove themselves, and they did."
"Do you have any medals for bravery?" Bella asked.
"No. What us a medal?"
"Then I need to create one. It's a special ribbon with a medallion on it. My country used to give them to soldiers who gone above the call of duty."
"Ah," Jasper said. "Remembrances. Like the buttons people are wearing in memory of Kate."
"They are? What kind of buttons?"
"They are made of copper, like the color of her hair. They are worn by those who support emancipation and drone rights. From what I hear, more and more people are wearing them every day."
Didyme put a plate in front of Edward and Bella. "You'll have to share," she warned. "I only have two plates."
"That's fine," Bella assured her. She and Edward washed their hands in the bucket.
"Open," Edward commanded, holding a bite of meat between the tips of his claws. Bella obeyed and he plucked up another bite, waiting while she chewed.
"You eat that one," Bella said.
"No, you first," Edward insisted. Even half-starved, he saw to her needs before his own.
"Is everyone else all right?" Bella asked Jasper between bites. "Emmett? Alice and Rose and the babies?"
"Alice, Rose and the children are perfectly safe." Edward had told her the same thing last night, but she needed to hear it again. "Emmett was wounded, but not severely."
"I think I'll wound him myself when I see him," Edward said with a little growl.
"Why, what did he do?"
"He apparently thought we meant it literally when we told him to lead the troops. He was in front of every charge and it's only by the mercy of the Goddess that the damn fool wasn't killed."
"This from the man who rushed out to fight on the day that Volterra was attacked?" Bella said to Edward. He gave her a wry glance and popped another piece of meat into her mouth.
"That's different. Emmett was the only leader we had in the field with Jasper and I gone. If he had died ..."
Oh God, he's back to worrying again. Bella opted to distract him. She picked up a piece of meat from the tray and held it in front of Edward's mouth. He opened and she placed it on his tongue. His lips closed around her fingers and she shivered as she slowly drew them out. She was lost in his eyes, lost in the moment.
Jasper's tail flicked in amusement. "Can you two hold off on the sensuality until later?" He finished with his plate and washed it in the bucket before returning it to Didyme, who loaded it with her own breakfast and sat at the table beside him.
Bella smiled, and it felt strange on her face after everything that had happened. The space at her side felt empty without Tanya's still, serene form.
Edward noted the change in her expression and correctly guessed why, "You miss her."
"I do," Bella confirmed. She blinked back tears.
"Her funeral is on Dynal tomorrow. We could attend, if you would like."
"I think I'd like that," Bella said. "Will she be buried?"
"No, the Dynali sink their dead in the sea."
"Oh," Bella was disappointed. "I was hoping there would be some kind of memorial, a headstone or something."
"You could place one at Palace Plaza where the Volterra attack memorial is being built," Jasper suggested. "The way it's turning out, the memorial isn't only for those who died in the attacks, but for everyone who has died in this war."
"That's a good idea," Bella said, and briefly considered what kind of memorial she would build. Whatever it was, it had to be tall and blue.
"Is it really over? Did you capture the leaders?" Bella asked.
"Felix surrendered when our troops stormed the palace. Emmett took his tail personally. All except for James, and nobody seems to know where he is."
"He's here!" Didyme said.
"On Fenix?" Edward asked, surprised.
"Behind you!" Didyme shouted.
As Didyme confessed to Bella later, she knew James and a few other of the rebel leaders. She had never officially joined them, nor provided any material support, but she had allowed James to use her home as a safe, secluded location to meet with some of the rebel leaders on Fenix to discuss the possibility of Fenix joining the rebellion. As a result, when James saw the video featuring her conversation with Bella, he knew exactly where to find her.
They all jumped and Bella let out a little shriek. James stood in the door, his eyes flicking to each of them in turn, a sword dangling from his right hand. He didn't seem surprised to find Edward or Jasper there. His gaze stopped on Bella. "You're supposed to be dead."
Bella lifted her chin. "Yeah, I get that a lot." There was a small knife on the table which Didyme had used to chop the meat into bite-sized squares. Bella slipped it up her sleeve when James turned to Edward.
"You know why I'm here."
Edward rose to his feet. "I do." He turned to Jasper. "Remember your promise to me."
"You know I will," Jasper said. He extended his hand and Edward clasped it for a moment.
James went back outside.
"Edward?" Bella's heart pounded and her stomach was icy with fear. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"Will you stay inside, please, Bella? You don't need to watch this."
"What are you doing?"
Edward kissed her forehead. "James was once my best friend, and I loved him. For that reason alone, I would extend the courtesy of ending this with single combat. He's also an Alpha and has the right of challenge." Edward stroked the sides of Bella's face.
"Does it have to be now?" she croaked through a throat tightly constricted.
Edward said nothing. His thumb traced along her cheekbone. He knew why she was worried, and he wouldn't lie to her with platitudes and promises, not now. "I love you. Have I said it yet today?"
He picked her up and braced her back against the wall so that their faces were level. He kissed her, long and sweet and slow. She felt his tongue flick against her upper lip and she trembled.
"I want to face whatever fate is mine with the taste of you on my tongue," he whispered, "with the scent of you on my skin, my arms still warm from holding you. Bella, if I should fall-"
"No!"
"Listen to me," he said gently. "If I should fall, Jasper will take care of you. If you ever decide to mate again-"
"Edward, stop it! I would never want another mate."
"Bella, you're very young and your heart needs someone to love. Know that I want you to be happy. But choose carefully, for he will rule by your side." He kissed her again, and then slowly lowered her to her feet. "I love you. Please, stay inside. Promise me."
"I- I p-promise," Bella said, her eyes brimming with tears. She hugged him hard. "Come back to me," she said fiercely. "That's an order."
"You will is mine, Empress," he said, bowing his head to her. He opened the door and took a deep breath, trying to burn her scent into his lungs, and stepped out to meet his fate.
Edward found James sitting by the creek in the meadow, his sword thrust into the earth beside him. Edward sat down a few feet away. James didn't look up, his brooding gaze fastened on the flowing stream, tumbling in its rocky bed into a deep pool below a small waterfall.
"Can I trust you to respect the traditions?" Edward asked.
"I will," James said, "but not for the reasons that you would. If you fall, I want to watch her suffer, and watch your children grow up without a father, just like I did."
"Carlisle was always there for you."
"You took him from me. You're not even of his flesh, but he always preferred you as his son. I cannot begin to count the number of times he told me to try to be more like you, to follow your example. And Esme! She gave my hugs and kisses to you."
"Because you rejected her. Don't you realize how hurt she was by that?"
"She rejected me first. But I got my revenge. I took all of her children away from her. Felix will be dead by sundown, the coward."
"He's being watched."
James's tail flicked in amusement. "Haven't you figured out by now that I can find ways around your security? I know you, Edward. I've been able to predict every move you've made since that bomb destroyed your parents' ship. Bella, however, I can't predict."
"I have the same difficulty," Edward said. He idly dipped his tail into the water and watched, waiting, as the fish came to investigate, mouthing the tuft of hair to test it for edibility. When one of sufficient size joined in the exploration, he stuck, spearing the side of the fish with his claws and throwing it up on the bank beside him. A gift for Didyme. "Tell me something," he said. "Was Caius intending to return to the Federation when he came to Volterra?"
"I don't know what his intentions were," James said, but Edward could tell he was lying by the way his tail ducked out of sight. "He stole my mate and child, and then you killed them."
"James, I swear to you that I had nothing to do with her death. Bella found Stefan in the rubble and-"
"His name is not Stefan," James spat.
"Esme tried to send you messages and you rejected them."
"He's mine. She had no right to keep him from me."
"Rachel brought him to Volterra for a reason, and considering she was in the same city as his grandparents-"
"Don't you speak her name!" James snarled.
"Did you love her?"
James seemed thrown off-track by the question. "I- I don't know. I suppose so. There has to be a reason why I'm feeling like this."
"You would feel awful at losing your mate even if you didn't love her," Edward said. "It's simply our nature. Our mates are the other half of our soul, and it leaves a gaping wound when they are gone from our side. But if your heart joins your soul, and you love your mate, losing her is ... it's indescribable. Fading is a mercy."
"All I feel is anger," James said. His eyes blazed with dark fire. "It's all I've ever felt. I've lived with it since I was a young boy, when you usurped my position in the hearts of my mother and father."
"I never knew."
"I didn't want you to." James tossed a rock into the creek, scaring away the new group of fish that had come to investigate Edward's tail. "I won't stop, Edward. I won't stop until I've taken everything from you, until I've broken everything you ever touched."
"So, this rebellion wasn't about your ideology. It was about trying to destroy the Federation."
James said nothing. He hurled another rock into the water.
"Why? For the Goddess's sake, why?"
James met his eyes, cold, emotionless. "Because you loved it."
Edward was silent for a long moment, digesting this.
"As it turns out, you were right about the people being easily manipulated into going against their self-interest," James said. "I played on their fears, their prejudices, and their greed, all in the name of 'freedom', wrapped in a pretty package of patriotism. I was surprised at how easy it really was."
"I have one final question. I loved you like a brother. Tell me, did you ever care about me in return? Were you ever the friend I thought you were?"
"No. You were good practice. If I could fool you, I could fool anyone."
Edward withdrew his tail from the creek and wrung out the hair on the end. "No weapons," he said. As the challenged, he technically had no right to specify the terms, but James didn't argue the point. "No weapons," he agreed.
Edward stood and walked a few paces into the meadow. He chose a flat, clear area where the grass reached only to his ankles. James joined him, stopping a few feet away, his body lowering in a fighter's stance.
Edward mind drifted back all the times they had faced each other like this, their claws tipped with cork dipped in ink so that they could count the marks and determine the winner. They had been the best fighters in school, unbeatable except by each other, almost perfectly matched in skill.
"Goodbye, James," Edward said. Either way.
James lunged at him, his claws aimed to disembowel. Edward arched back out of the way and swiped at James's throat. He missed and caught him across the cheek, ripping open a furrow along his jaw. James sucked in a breath and lashed out with his foot. It was a feint; when Edward moved to dodge, he put himself right in the path of the next blow.
Edward spun when he saw it coming, avoiding most of the damage but felt a searing pain as James' claws ripped three shallow lines across his chest. He lashed at James with his tail, and the blow landed as intended, right across James's face, distracting him enough to allow Edward another chance to strike. His claws slashed into James's side, ripping down his ribs diagonally toward his belly. A hint of intestine peeked out.
James snarled and jumped at Edward, his hands slashing at Edward's face and his toe claws aimed for Edward's belly. Edward ducked and used James's own momentum against him. He threw James over his back, and whipped his tail around James's neck as he hit the ground.
James grunted, and Edward was atop him in a flash, pressing his hands to the soil, tightening his tail around James's throat. "I never fought as hard as I could with you," he confessed. "I imagine that's why you thought you could beat me."
James writhed desperately.
"Yield, and I'll let you live," Edward offered. "Confess to what you've done and I'll send you into exile." Even now, knowing what he did, he had to offer James the chance. Despite what James had said, there once had been a time when they were friends, before jealousy and betrayal had brought them here.
James' feet drummed on the ground behind Edward as his face turned red. His eyes blazed hatred. He managed to wrench one of his hands free enough to rake his claws down Edward's arm. Edward didn't seem to notice the wound. He recaptured the hand and twisted it around, palm-up and knelt on it.
"Yield," Edward said.
"No," James mouthed. His face had faded from bright red to blue from lack of oxygen. His struggles were getting weaker.
Edward looked into his eyes and saw nothing of the man he thought he had known. He didn't break eye contact even as he gripped his hands around James's head and wrenched it to the side, breaking his neck with an audible snap. The focus faded from James's eyes until he was staring sightlessly, the empty stare of death.
Edward unfurled his tail and James's head flopped to the side at an unnatural angle. He crouched down and carefully checked for a pulse, for breathing, for a heartbeat. Nothing. James was dead.
It was over. His rush of relief was tinged by a bit of sadness, especially when he thought of having to tell Esme that her son was dead. Was it too late to save Felix? He would have to try, for her sake.
Edward swayed a little as he stood, weak from bloodloss and the effects of his four-day fast. He walked over to the creek bank and picked up Didyme's gift. He carried it to the house and knocked on the door. Bella threw it open, her face shimmering with tears. Didyme was at her side, a hand pressed over her mouth.
"I brought you a fish," Edward said, and fell to his knees.
Dynal was mostly covered by water, a blue planet wrapped in a garland of pearly-white clouds. What little land there was dotted the water's surface, small, irregularly-shaped islands. Bella watched through the tiny porthole as the planet got closer, seeming to swell until it blocked the sight of everything else.
Beside her, Edward was asleep, his head pillowed on her lap, his tail firmly wrapped around her leg. She tried to remain as still as possible because every time she moved, his eyes would fly open.
His wounds were healed courtesy of a doctor they had met in the city before heading to the spaceport. Didyme had wrapped his wounds in cloth bandages after applying a layer of sticky tree sap that stopped the bleeding and would prevent infection.
She had refused to come with them, though they promised her protection from Marcus and a home of her own on Volterra. "This is my home," she said. "And here I'll stay." She had also refused the gifts of money that they had offered. "I don't need it. Give it to a drone cause in my name if you must."
And before they left, she had pressed a small wood box into Bella's hand. "This is ... I performed the ceremonies for the baby because you could not. His ashes are inside."
Bella had looked up at her, her heart in her eyes, knowing that no words could ever express her gratitude. The loss of this baby's life had quite possibly saved her own, but she mourned him, mourned for what would never be, the life he would never have.
She woke Edward as the ship was preparing to enter the atmosphere. He yawned and sat up, pulling his restraints over his chest. "I dreamed of James," he told her.
"A bad dream?"
"No, it was nice, actually. We walked through the meadow and he told me that he forgave me."
Bella didn't understand. In her view, it was James who needed to beg for forgiveness, not Edward, but if this was the way his mind needed to sort out the situation in order to give him closure, she wasn't going to argue.
Their ship was met by a contingent of Dynali priests when they landed on a small island. Male and female, they were dressed identically in loose beige trousers, heads shaven, all carrying a staff like Tanya's. Bella's eyes filled with tears. One of the priests patted her shoulder. "Do not weep, little Empress. Our sister was honored by such a fate."
The Dynali had no land transportation vehicles. They didn't need them. All of the landmasses were small enough to be crossed with a short walk. The spaceport at which they had landed was tiny, with room enough for only one or two ships at a time. Edward lifted Bella in his arms, and she protested because even though his wounds were healed, they still hurt. He simply gave her his crooked smile and said that holding her in his arms was worth a little discomfort.
They followed a wide gravel path along the shore to a small, open-air temple. As they walked, the priests began to sing, a beautiful, haunting, lilting song, the rhythm matched to their pace. That strange, hollow tone to their voices was well-suited for singing, lending a rich resonance to each note. It was so beautiful that it gave her chills and goosebumps prickled her arms.
Edward was alarmed. "You have become bumpy!"
Bella laughed softly. "Goosebumps, we call them. They're one of evolution's scars, left over from a time when humans were hairy and goosebumps would lift their hair and make them look larger."
He thought for a moment. "Why would you want to feel larger right now?"
"I suppose it's because sometimes the body interprets awe as fright."
He seemed to accept that explanation. They had reached the temple and he gently deposited her on her feet, trying to conceal a flinch when lowering her tugged at his sore arm muscles. She pretended not to notice.
The temple was a simple structure comprised of a stone block platform, cushions scattered around on its surface, surrounded by square columns that supported an open roof. Gauzy pale blue curtains hung between the pillars and criss-crossed overhead, giving the light within a bluish-tinge. Like being underwater, Bella thought. And maybe that was its purpose.
Tanya's body lay on the altar, wrapped loosely in the blue gauze, a staff laid upon her chest. Not hers- that had been lost in the crash and Edward had never uncovered it during his searches of the debris.
Edward and Bella knelt on one of the cushions, the priests who had escorted them taking their places standing behind the altar. More Dynali joined them, some walking in from the sea itself, rising from the waves like Venus, their clothes clinging to their bodies. All of them bowed respectfully to Bella and Edward as they passed, and none seemed surprised to see them there. Their voices joined the lilting song, melody and counter-melody twined together. When the last note died away, the service itself began, not performed by a single priest, but by many who took turns saying the lines and then joining the chorus that responded.
"We come together to bid farewell to our sister."
"To mourn our sister," the audience rejoined.
"We give her body back to the waters from whence it came."
"From the deep, and returned to the deep."
"We give her spirit back to the Mistress, who created the divine spark within us. Who will keep her memory?"
"I will," was said by many voices, blending into one.
"As the waters nourish us, so now will her mortal remains nourish the sea. The circle is complete."
"The circle is complete," the audience repeated.
They picked up the body and carried it to a little boat that sat on the sand by the shore. It was another task shared among all of them, passing the bier from hand to hand down to the shore, where they all gathered again at the water line. They laid her gently inside and came forward, one at a time, to lay small gifts into the boat with her: a flower, a scroll, a photograph. One of them laid in Tanya's hand a necklace made of a seashell strung on a black cord. She closed her eyes for a moment, her head hanging in grief or prayer before stepping back with the rest of the group.
The boat seemed to be made of some sort of compressed fiber and a blue sail stuck up from a mast on the bow. Bella looked up at Edward questioningly. he crouched to whisper in her ear. "It will float for, perhaps, half a day or so until the fibers become waterlogged. The wind will draw it out to sea where it will sink gradually beneath the waves."
Bella stepped forward. She knelt beside the boat and pulled the little wood box from her pocket and tucked it inside Tanya's shroud. "I know you'll take care of him," Bella whispered. "Just as you always took care of me. I love you, Tanya. I hope you knew that."
She rose, her throat too constricted to say more and went back to the shelter of Edward's arms.
The little boat was pushed out into the water. It bobbed hesitantly before the wind caught its sail and pulled it away from the shore with surprising speed.
"Goodbye, sister," the Dynali said in unison.
"Goodbye," Bella whispered.
The Dynali joined hands and began to sing again, their voices rising and falling in praise and sorrow as they watched the little boat sail away, disappearing over the horizon.
"Emperor and Empress, may I walk with you back to your ship?"
Bella looked up at the priest who had spoken, slightly startled for she had been lost in thought and memory. She recognized the woman as the one who had draped the sea shell necklace around Tanya's hand. "Yes, thank you," Bella said. "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name."
"I am Angela," the priest said. She knelt and hunched so that her face was on level with Bella's.
"Did you know Tanya well?"
The priest's eyes were gentle, compassionate."She was my daughter."
"Oh!" Bella said, her heat aching. "I didn't know priests could-" Bella cut herself off, horrified and embarrassed at what had just come out of her mouth.
The woman did not seem ruffled by the comment. "I was not always a priest."
"I am so sorry for your loss. So very sorry."
"Please, do not be troubled. I can see the guilt in your eyes, but that is not a burden you should carry. My daughter died in your service, a great blessing, for she has earned a place as one who serves the Goddess herself in the Afterworld."
"She was ... wonderful," Bella whispered, unable to come to a better adjective. "I loved her very much, and I will always miss her."
"As will we all, but she still lives in a corner of your heart, and she will be with you always."
"Thank you," Bella said. She held out her hand and Angela bowed over it, touching her forehead to the back of it.
"You walk in the Mistress's way, little Empress. You have a long and winding road before you, and many paths you can take. May the Mistress lighten your steps and her light guide you through dark times."
She cupped Bella's head in her huge hand and then bent to kiss her forehead. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye." Bella watched Angela retreat to the waves over Edward's shoulder as he carried her up the gangplank into the ship, which seemed so cold and sterile after the soft warmth and gentle breezes of the beach.
"Let's go home," Edward said.
Bella laughed softly. "We don't have a home, remember?"
"Anywhere you are, that's my home."
