Author's note: Thank you to anonymouscsifan, MrsPanda, wolfimus prime, kmj1989, TReneeM, mun3litKnight and InfinityMars for the reviews! So, this chapter is super angsty. Be warned, haha. But I'm looking forward to the reactions to the ending ;-)


Crushing It

I lower my knife when I see who it is. I'm guessing he sniffed me out and that's how he found me. "Hi, Hank," I say weakly.

Well this is embarrassing. God, someone shoot me. But oh wait, they've already done that today.

That might be funny to me later, but not right now.

Hank, who actually looked pretty pissed off when the door opened, now softens just a bit. He sighs and steps inside, shutting the closet door behind him while pulling a little first aid kit off his belt.

Damn, where can I get myself one of those?

"Hi," he replies as he kneels down and immediately starts to help me, God bless him. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" I tease, pointing to my leg. I'm trying to keep it light, to ignore how it feels for Hank to touch me. It's truly amazing how gentle he is, even with the scary-looking claws. "Trying to patch myself up."

He looks me straight in the eyes. "That's not what I meant, Vivien."

What's that supposed to mean? Unless he's talking about me helping Evan in some roundabout way?

But how the hell would he even know about that?

"I know you helped Spyke escape," Hank explains stiffly, confirming my fears. "I thought you'd-"

Aw fuck.

Could the guy not keep his mouth shut or what? I saved his life and just asked for one thing in return, and this is the thanks I get? God dammit.

I'm too offended to even try to deny it. "Did he tell you that?" I snap.

"No," he replies, finishing up my bandage without even looking down. He's too busy watching me. "He didn't have to. I knew he couldn't get out on his own, and you're the only Brotherhood member with a conscience."

Hey now, that's not really true. I think they all have consciences in some form or another- mine's just a lot less... flexible, I guess.

Well, shit. I wonder if that's why Magneto suspected me, too?

Looks like I need to be a lot more careful from now on.

I sigh and carefully pull my jumpsuit down into place and put my boot back on without looking Hank in the eye. "Thanks," I say, gesturing to my wound.

"Why didn't you want me to know, Vivien?" Hank demands quietly.

"I didn't want to give you hope that I had changed my mind," I admit.

"What?"

"Be honest, Hank," I say, smiling bitterly as I finally chance meeting his gaze. Crap, big mistake. "The moment you realized I helped Spyke get out, you were hoping that I would show up in Westchester."

He nods. "When you didn't I thought you'd left the Brotherhood and gone off on your own," he murmurs. "Or that Erik had caught you."

Yeah, well, not for lack of trying on that last part.

I scoff. "Caught me? I've got more skills than that," I boast. "Give me some credit."

"So... why are you here with them then?" Hank asks slowly, like he's trying to solve a really tough math problem. "Why didn't you leave the Brotherhood? You saw how low Erik will stoop to get what he wants. You can't possibly still think-"

"Yes, you were right about him. Are you happy? You were right," I interject. "But let me ask you something, Hank. Would you rather fight a Brotherhood with me or without me in it?"

He just kinda stares at me.

Jesus, do I have to spell it out for him?

I sigh. "If I'm with them I can stop stuff like what almost happened to Spyke," I explain, "and maybe show these guys there's a better way."

Hank shakes his head. "You're wasting your time, Vivien. They-"

"I thought you said people can change?" I retort.

He winces, because he knows damn well that I'm right.

"Isn't that what you're hoping for so badly with me?" I continue. "You want me to leave the Brotherhood so badly, Hank. And I understand that that's part of who you are, what you believe. But why can't you accept that this is what I am? Am I really that bad?"

I wait for an answer, but he's completely silent. He won't even look me in the eye anymore.

Well that hurts.

I'm trying to do exactly what Hank claimed the X-Men are about, just for the Brotherhood, and he's acting like it's not good enough. I mean, right now by not answering he's basically implying that I'm a shitty person. I get that he really wants me to leave the Brotherhood and everything, but that's no reason to be so judgmental, right?

Hank just doesn't understand that I see the bad things the Brotherhood does and feel the need to try to fix them from within. It doesn't have to be all black and white, X-Men versus Brotherhood. There's some shades of grey mixed in, and that's where I feel my place in this is. But for him, leaving the team is the only acceptable answer.

And he won't stop hoping that I'll come around.

The stubborn jerk.

So I guess there's only one thing for me to do. It's going to hurt like hell, but it's the only way I'll be able to spare him in the long run. To protect Hank, because I care for him that damn much. I'm sure that if we could just end this whole hopeless-pining thing between us and go back to how it was before we got to know each other at Alkali Lake he would eventually get over it. I know this hurts him, and I really don't want to do that to him anymore.

Even if it means hurting myself.

Doing the right thing means he'll never be mine, I sadly remind myself.

I nod stiffly, trying to steel myself against the pain I know is coming.

When I start trying to regain my feet Hank stands and helps me up, leaving his hands on my waist. I reach up and put a hand on his cheek, trying to break it gently.

God, the way he leans into the touch kills me even more.

You can do this, Babineaux. You're trying to save him, remember? No more wistful looks, no more stringing him along. It's better to just crush his hope right in the dirt. A clean break, that's what you both need.

"This is hopeless," I tell him. "I'm not going to leave the Brotherhood, and you're not going to stop wanting me to. This- whatever the hell this is, between us- is just hurting us both. I think it'd be better if- if we just stayed away from each other, ok?"

"Vivien-" he begins desperately.

"I'm sorry," I murmur. "But please don't speak to me again."

I awkwardly stand on one tiptoe and kiss him for the last time.

And then I walk out.

Well ok, I'm more limping than walking, but you get my drift. The point is, I'm trying to put as much distance between me and Hank as possible.

From the lack of noise around me it seems like the fighting is truly over, thank God. Judging by Hank's presence I'm guessing the Professor came to smooth it all over- or at least something along those lines- before Magneto showed up and really made a mess of things.

Now all that's left to be done is leave.

Usually I'd have no problems jumping out of a window to get out of here, but with my gimpy leg I'm more likely to face-plant and break something important. I think one awful injury is enough for one day, don't you?

Instead I head for the stairs to the ground floor, reminding myself to never let myself get shot again as I hop awkwardly from step to step.

And that's when an explosion rocks the entire building. Like, I actually feel the damn thing shift on its foundations.

Holy shit. Definitely time to get the hell out of here.

At this point I'm committed to going down, so I try to hobble along faster. Really though, there's only so much I can do.

"Peter-?" I call out desperately. I can hear the building shaking as the supports start to give out. "Peter!"

I'm at the bottom of the stairwell now. I can see daylight through the windows ahead-

And then the ceiling above me completely gives way.


I think I black out for a few minutes, because the next thing I'm aware of is Peter frantically calling my name.

"Vivien!" he shouts. "Vivien!"

"Over here!" I answer, as loud as I can. Which is to say, not very loud at all. I can't seem to draw a full breath in. "Peter, over here!"

I catch sight of his pale face peeking past a pile of collapsed beams several feet away.

"Thank God," he mutters. "You ok, Vixie?"

"I'm assuming- that's a rhetorical question," I gasp back. There's a building on me, how the fuck do you think I feel?

My entire left side is pinned underneath a heavy metal support beam, which I guess explains why I can't really breathe. I can move my fingers and toes though, so I'm assuming I'm not paralyzed or anything. Really, it's the breathing I'm worried about.

"Did everyone- else make it out?" I manage to ask. "Myles-? James-?"

God, did Hank get stuck in here? I hope not.

"Yeah, everyone's waiting out back. You were the only one who got stuck. But Dadneto's here," Peter assures me. "We'll get you out of there, ok? Just sit tight."

I try to chuckle, but it ends up coming out as a watery kind of cough. "I'm not going anywhere, trust me."

While I wait I try to concentrate on catching my breath. I haven't managed it by the time Magneto lifts the beam off me with a simple flick of his wrist.

And I still haven't by the time we get back to base, either. If anything, it's getting harder and harder to draw in a breath. I'm starting to think I might have punctured a lung, or at least broke a rib or two. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"What hurts, Vivien?" Wanda asks anxiously, clutching my hand.

The entire Brotherhood is gathered around the sofa James laid me down on when we got back. It's freaking me out, actually, because I kinda feel like they've gathered to watch me die.

Am I dying? It doesn't feel like it. When I pictured dying I sorta imagined that it wouldn't hurt this much, you know? But it's not like I've ever done it before.

God, I don't want to die. I'm not ready. I've got too many people to worry about to let go just yet.

"My chest," I whisper. "Hurts to- breathe."

"Sissy, please don't die," Myles murmurs. Jesus, what would happen to him without me?

"Trying not to, Myles," I assure him.

"Do we have anything for the pain?" James directs the question towards Magneto, who shakes his head grimly.

"I can go get some," Peter offers quickly. "I'll be in and out of a hospital before anyone notices."

His dad seems to consider that for a moment before nodding his approval. "Get morphine and a syringe," he orders. Once Peter's gone he turns back to James. "At least that will keep her comfortable, until..."

Both of my brothers react with horror.

"Until what?" James demands.

Magneto shrugs. "Until she decides to live or die," he replies.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.

"She's a feral, is she not? Her body will either heal itself, or it won't."

"There's gotta be something else we can do," my elder brother presses, while Myles nods anxiously in agreement.

"Dad- is there really nothing?" Wanda adds. "A hospital we can take her to-?"

"We can't take her to the hospital without the humans realizing she was part of the skirmish with police today," Mastermind chimes in. It honestly looks like he's having a hard time not smiling. Well fuck you too, dude.

Again, all of them are arguing about getting me medical treatment while I lay there completely helpless. It's like I'm fucking dead already.

Magneto hesitates, but the combined pleas of my brothers and his daughter finally make him fold. "I know a place," he admits reluctantly. "But truly, only as a last resort."


Peter returns with the morphine soon after that.

I want to protest- I don't like the idea of falling asleep right now, especially without my own control. What if I never wake up again? I'd rather just try to ride this out-

But I can't even find the breath to tell them no anymore.

This heavy stillness sweeps quickly over me after they stick me with the needle. A sense of nothingness that absolutely terrifies me, because it's exactly how I pictured it would be like to die.

I wonder how Hank will feel if he finds out I kicked the bucket? I think as my eyes drift closed.

And then I don't know anything for a very, very long time.