Chapter Twenty-Nine

I was terrified. We all were. But to be honest, I didn't feel that anyone was as scared about this situation as Johnny was. Not even Rosy, who loved Dee Dee with everything she had. Nobody else could see what I saw, but I saw it very clearly. Johnny was trembling, his hands furiously shaking. He was pacing back and forth, hoping for a miracle. I didn't think anyone expected him to care enough to come see Dee Dee here at the hospital, yet here he was, and looking worried as ever.

It must have been hours that we were waiting. Not doing anything, and doing everything. Eating snacks from the vending machines, crying, talking to ease the tension and worry, drinking the disgusting coffee from the hospital...we did everything. Still there seemed to be no sign of improvement from Dee Dee. I hoped he was going to be okay. I'd run out of tears to cry soon.

Rosy leaned against my shoulder, not crying anymore, but looking completely joyless. She looked like she'd never be happy again.

"You really love that man, don't you?" I asked her as I put an arm around her.

She nodded. "He's my everything. And I know hes married to Vera, but those two just weren't meant to be. I know they weren't. I'm only his mistress, his girl-on-the-side, but I understand him more than she ever will. I know that much."

"But, you never even met Vera before."

"I know, but Dee Dee talks badly about her when hes high on smack. I'm always there when he rambles on about her and him and all their problems."

"Ah, I see." I didn't know what else to say to her after that, so I just kept quiet.

Marky walked towards us and sat down. "So, I just talked to the doctor."

Rosy sat up. "What did he say?"

Everyone turned their attention to Marky now.

"He's still in critical condition, but they were able to get the bullet out his side. So, that's good. But we still need to wait and see what happens. If he stays like this, his lungs might fail, the doctor said. And they'll have to put 'im on life support." Marky choked up. "Basically, he'll be dead but the machines will make it look like hes still alive."

"Oh god," Kat said and put her face in her hands. "Oh god, no..."

Rosy began to sob again, and I comforted her. There was nothing we could do. We just had to wait and see what would happen.

Johnny sat in a corner looking miserable. He wasn't crying like the rest of us but he looked like he was about to. Suddenly, from the elevator, we all saw Josephina running. She didn't bother to greet the rest of us, just made her way to Rosy. She took the crying Rosy from me and led her away somewhere, probably to calm her down and try to talk to her. Joey went with her. Two people were better than one when it came to talking to someone on utter distress, especially in a situation like this.

After about another hour, the doctor came towards all of us, his expression blank. We all gathered around him.

"So, it seems your friend is gonna be alright, but he needs to rest for about two weeks before he can leave. He needs to recover from this. That bullet sliced him up pretty badly."

Rosy smiled and now cried tears of joy in Josephina's arms. The rest of us blew sighs of relief and shed a few tears ourselves. I saw Johnny get up from his corner and join the rest of us as we were hugging each other. Somehow, he seemed a little lost. What I mean by that is, he wasn't used to seeing people be affectionate around one another like this. I mean, him and I were that way towards each other all the time, but to him, seeing people in a group hugging, rejoicing in the way that we were...it seemed foreign to him. Like he never really knew what that was like. He looked like he didn't really fit in. My poor Johnny.

Joey walked over to him and put an arm around him, then I saw his mouth moving. I couldn't hear him, but I was pretty sure he was telling Johnny the good news about Dee Dee. Johnny looked up at him and gave a half-smile. Joey patted him twice on the back and brought Johnny towards the rest of us.

I sighed and grabbed Johnny's hands. "I'm so happy he's gonna be alright."

"Yeah me too. But he's a fucking idiot. This is exactly why I have to keep an eye on him. He almost died, you know?"

"I'm sure he's learned his lesson."

"But it sucks now because he wont be able to come with us on tour. We're goin' on tour next week, Angie. We gotta find another bass player until he gets better."

"Oh shit, I forgot about that." I looked over at Rosy who was now smiling. I was glad she was happy. "Anybody you know who can do backup?"

"Well..." Johnny pulled at the bottom of his green t-shirt. "Maybe we can get our old drummer Tommy to fill in for us. He plays bass, kinda."

I couldn't help but to think in my mind that they just wouldn't sound the same with a different bass player being on tour. The fans would know the difference. I knew I certainly would be able to tell if I were them. "But everyone knows Tommy is the used-to-be-drummer. The fans would find that kind of weird, don't you think?"

"Well, I don't know anyone else besides him who can fill in for Dee Dee."

"I can do it." Kat must have overheard our conversation, because she walked towards us now. "I play bass."

Johnny stared at her for a couple of seconds, then broke out into hysterical laughter. Kat looked at him, her face angry, and I just sighed and rolled my eyes at his behavior.

"What, I can! I'm damn good at it too."

Johnny just kept laughing. I slapped him in the arm. "Ow, what the fuck Angie!"

"Stop it." I looked at him. "Stop laughing, she's serious."

He sighed, still smiling sarcastically. "Katrina, no offense, but you're a woman. This is an all-guy group."

"Oh, I see." She sighed. "Whatever." She walked off and left Johnny there smirking his butt off. He looked over at me, and his expression changed to confusion. "What?"

I had my arms folded. "You know what, John. Don't play that game with me. If she says she can play bass, then why cant she be in the group just until Dee Dee can come back?"

"Honey, because shes a woman. The Ramones are all men. What would the fans think if they saw a woman on stage with us? They'll think she's a groupie."

"Obviously not if they see her playing with the rest of you guys!" I was getting frustrated, so I took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. "Look. Right now isnt really the time to talk about this, so lets just wait until later."

He shrugged. "Okay, fine."

I thought he should give Kat a chance to show him and the rest of the guys what she could do. I'm sure she was really good, and so what if she was a girl? Okay yes, The Ramones were an all-male band but they couldn't have at least one female fill in for them? I didn't think that was asking for TOO much.

"Angela." Joey surprised me with his voice.

"Oh hey." I grabbed his hand out of habit. I was used to holding his hand and touching him a lot. But Johnny was looking at us, so I had to be careful with what I did with Joey. Because even though these two were friends now, Johnny still could get pretty jealous, and I didn't want that. Not to mention that dream I had scared me out of my wits...I shook the memory from my head.

"I'm hungry. You wanna get some food? We've been here for hours, and Dee Dee's probably not gonna wake up for a long time. So we should just go and come here again tomorrow or somethin' to see how he's doing."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. John, let's get Marky too. Hey, Marky!"

He was having a conversation with Josephina and Rosy when I called him. He excused himself and walked over to us. "Yeah."

"Let's get something to eat. Me, you, Joey and Johnny. I'll go ask the other two girls if they wanna come also."

"Okay, cool."

I went up to Rosy. "Hey, how do you feel?"

"Great, now that I know my Dee Dee's gonna be alright." She gave me a half-smile.

"Are you hungry? Do you wanna come with me and-"

She shook her head. "Nah that's okay. I think I'll stay here and watch over Dee Dee a little more. Then I think I'll go home with Jo."

"Okay, well I'll see you later." I hugged her and Josephina. Then I bumped into Kat, who was just making her way from the bathroom. "What about you, Kat? wanna come eat with us?"

"I can't, I'm going out with my parents later and I gotta get ready. They're taking me to some museum that I really don't wanna go to."

I laughed. "Well, good luck with that. See you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, see you." She waved and got inside the elevator.

So with that, the rest of us left the hospital and made our way to a small diner right over on the corner. Johnny and I didn't even get to eat our breakfast from this morning because we had to come to the hospital. So we were starving. The others, not so much.

We all ordered the same thing. Burgers with fries. I had water with mine, Joey and Marky a chocolate milkshake, and Johnny a pepsi.

"So guys," I said as I stuffed a fry in my mouth. "I wanted to talk to you all about something. Its about who's gonna fill in for Dee Dee when you guys go on tour next week."

"Oh yeah we gotta talk about that," Joey said. "You guys know anybody good we can ask?"

"I thought maybe Tommy could do it, but Angela says that from a fans perspective that would be weird."

"It would be." Marky took a gulp of his milkshake. "We should get someone else."

I smiled to myself. "Mark...did you know that Kat can play bass?"

"Oh god, here she goes..." Johnny rolled his eyes and sighed. Joey looked over at him, then at me.

"Yeah, she's good. But she cant do it, she's a girl. We need a guy."

"Thank you," Johnny said. "Jesus, at least someone understands."

"But why does that matter! I understand that it would be preferred if it were a guy, but why don't you guys just give her a chance?"

Marky sighed. "Angela, the thing is...she's my cousin, my family. I don't want her to get hurt by the fans. It might hurt her feelings. I know she seems really tough and independent, but the truth is, deep down, she's very sensitive, and cares a lot about what other people say about her."

"But Kat's gorgeous! The guys in the audience would love her!"

"Look I got an idea." Joey chewed and swallowed his food some more before talking again. "Let's hold auditions tomorrow and if we don't like any of the people that come, we'll consider Katrina."

"Okay, fair enough." I nodded and continued to eat.

. . .

The next day...

Several people came in with their bass guitars, hoping to go on tour with the Ramones. What kind of fan wouldn't want that? But every person that came, the guys said no to. I just laughed to myself as I watched. They were going to understand that I was right all along...sooner or later.

"Damn, that was everyone." Johnny rubbed his temples, stressed out. "Alright, I guess we'll bring in Kat."

Marky looked really nervous for whatever reason. Maybe he was afraid the rest of the guys would judge her or something. Joey had his sunglasses on again, so I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"NEXT!"

Kat came in, looking fabulous as usual, with her bass. She looked confident. Serious. Ready. Then, a couple of seconds later, she began to play "Commando". It was exactly the way Dee Dee played it. The same precision. It was amazing to listen to. Then she played "Pinhead". After that, she stopped, exhaled, and looked up at the guys. I looked over at them too, and all their mouths were open, except Marky, who already knew Kat's potential. But Johnny and Joey stared in amazement and shock.

"Uh..." It took about a minute before Johnny said anymore than that. "Okay, uh...we wouldn't usually do this, but... since we can't find anyone else who seems to be this damn good, you're in. You'll leave with us for Argentina on Monday."

She smiled. "Really? Wow, great! Thanks! I cant wait to tell everyone, oh man." And she left the room.

In unison, Johnny and Joey said, "HOLY SHIT!"

"I told you guys you should give her a chance, didn't I?" I walked over to them, folding my arms and raising an eye brow at them all.

"Alright, alright. We shoulda listened." Johnny waved me off. "We're sorry."

"It's okay. But you should never doubt a woman's instincts. Women are able to see things better than you men can."

"That ain't true, we pay attention to stuff just as much, you know," Joey said and laughed. "Okay well, maybe not all the time, but sometimes."

. . .

Later that night, Johnny and I were at home, and I was busy cooking dinner. "Man, these past two days have been really interesting, haven't they honey?"

He looked up from his newspaper. "Oh yeah, they have. With Dee Dee almost getting himself killed, and us having a girl in the band, what more could happen?"

I waved him off. "Oh stop it. You guys are gonna need some female stability on tour anyways. And besides, its not like its permanent. It's just until Dee Dee recovers from his wound in the hospital."

"Tomorrow's not gonna be any easier for me. I gotta go to my dad's funeral, remember?"

I forgot all about that. "Oh...that's right." I continued to cook the steak in the frying pan. "Did you get yourself a tux yet?"

"Yeah, its upstairs, I have one. Angie...I really would like you to come. I'd feel better if you were there with me."

"John...I don't know if I'd feel comfortable. Your relatives will be there, and I'd just feel awkward. I wasn't even invited to this, you know?"

He got up and stood next to me as I cooked. "I'm inviting you. You don't have to talk to anybody. Just say hi, that's all. Please come?"

As I looked over at him, he seemed very sad. Sad in the way that indicated to me that he was going to have a rough time tomorrow as it was, but it would be more bearable if I was there. I sighed and said, "Alright, I'll come. But I need to search my clothes for something to wear. I cant walk in there with just jeans and a top."

Johnny looked at me for a second, then embraced me in a hug. I couldn't hug back though because I was right by the stove. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby." I kissed his shiny brown hair. "Now sit, I'm about to make the plates." I chuckled.

He let go and we both ate in silence. I didn't exactly know how I felt about going to Johnny's father's funeral. I wasn't going to know anyone there. What if they gave me weird stares? I didn't like being looked at by people for too long or else I got uneasy. But I had to do it. I had to do it for Johnny, because I loved him. And I didn't want him to go through tomorrow alone. He would need someone there, besides his mom, to support him. When I went to my own dad's funeral, it was hard, but having Mayra there made it a little better to deal with. So I understood where Johnny was coming from.

After we ate, Johnny said he was tired and wanted to go to sleep. I stayed downstairs in the living room and read one of my books that I brought with me from my old house in Maryland. Then, at around midnight, the phone interrupted me. I got up to get it. "Hello?"

"Oh Angela, good its you. It's me, Joey."

"Hey." Why was I excited to hear his voice? No, no, no. This wasn't right. I shouldn't be feeling this way. "How come you're calling so late?"

"I'm bored, you wanna do somethin'?"

"Joey, do you know what time it is? John's asleep, and if he were up he wouldn't let me go out this late. Not by myself anyways."

"You always do what John tells ya?" He smirked through the phone and I rolled my eyes.

"Joey, stop it. Just stop."

"What I'm just saying. Besides, he's sleepin', right? So he wont even know you're gone."

The truth was, I wanted to go hang out with Joey, but I was afraid that something was going to happen between us. My feelings for Joey never really subsided. And I loved Johnny. I was faithful to Johnny. I didn't want to break that trust we had with each other by doing something with Joey I'd regret. "I don't know..."

"Come on, just for a couple of hours. I'll even drop you off later if ya want."

"But Joey, cant we do this at a reasonable time of day? Like when the sun is out, maybe?"

"I told you, I'm bored. I got nothin' to do. And I wanted to see you." There was something in Joey's voice that made me feel like something else was going on here that I wasn't quite aware of. At least not yet. I finally gave in. "Fine, where do you want me to meet you?"

"Okay, do you know the subway stop over by Court Square?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, meet me there. See ya then."

I hung up the phone, my heart beating out of fear. Not because of Joey necessarily, but the fact that I was sneaking out of my own house like I was still a teenager. But I had to do it this way, because there was no way Johnny would let me go anywhere this time of night, despite the fact that I was twenty-one years old and I could do whatever I wanted. But not with my boyfriend. Oh no, not with Johnny.

So I grabbed my jacket and my keys...and I left.

Stay tuned everyone! :)