PART TWO – In the Weeks that Followed

Mac received the starting dates for both her temporary and permanent assignments. She briefly reported to Admiral Morris on Friday, June 10th, and received her court calendar for the coming week. Her assignment being temporary with the judiciary, she was able to retain her office in JAG OPS while serving as a judge.

When Mac wasn't working or visiting Mattie, her mind dwelled on San Diego. San Diego meant that she and Harm were back to being 5,489 miles apart. How difficult would a marriage like that be on them? What about having a family? Yes, she considered Mattie to be family, but she wanted a baby.

If her chances of conceiving or carrying a child had been improved during the surgery to remove the bullets, it wasn't relevant if the father-to-be and she weren't together, and she knew that it was better to have no children at all than to have children with the wrong man, and she was positive that Harm was the right man for her as well as the right man to be the father of any children that she might have.

*******

Harm's office had become a well-oiled machine in the short time that he'd been in London and required minimal daily effort on his part to keep it that way. When it came to his flight status, he'd received a call to schedule his six-month quals for August.

In his personal life, a lot of things were out of his hands, leaving their status in one of two categories: unknown or not yet.

Harm was always positive when talking to Mattie, but the truth was that he didn't know if he'd be granted custody of her. He did want custody and he rectified his error of not checking into schools the week after he got back. So, as far as Mattie's custody was concerned, he believed that it was just a matter of time before she'd be in London with him.

Mac was another matter. He was sure that he had Mac. However, her new assignment had certainly put a damper on being together the way they'd planned. He'd waited too long to find the woman with whom he wanted to be forever to let his chance at happiness with her pass him by. After doing a little research, he found several options for them to consider, but none of them could be implemented immediately, so he planned to talk over the options with her when he returned to DC for the custody hearing.

*******

In regard to school, Mattie passed her finals and would be advancing to the next grade level.

When it came to recovery, the week of June 6th through 10th had been quite different for her. Her regular physical therapy schedule was suspended, and she spent her therapy time doing puzzles with blocks and writing the letters of the alphabet. Mattie could see no use for what they had her doing. It wasn't going to help her walk or get ready to live outside the hospital.

Unbeknown to Mattie, the court had asked for a report to assess her future needs and the capacity of her prospective guardian to supply those needs, or to ensure that a proper foster home was selected for Mattie if custody wasn't granted.

The tasks that she'd performed over those five days in place of therapy were tests to assess her progress. Some tasks were used to assess the amount of brain damage that had been done. Was it enough to cause any long term problems? Some tasks tested her dexterity, stamina, coordination and such. What, if any, would her long term physical limitations be?

Mac had supplied Mattie with bridal magazines as she'd said she would. One of the magazines had the article "Be Your Own Wedding Planner" in it, and with the guidelines in that article, Mattie set out to do more than just write down some ideas. She was going to help plan their wedding, if only on paper, so when Mac visited, Mattie always had new wedding questions for her. In her emails to Harm, Mattie asked at least three wedding questions a day.

On Tuesday, June 14th, joy was an appropriate word to describe Harm, Mac and Mattie's feelings. After reviewing Mattie's test results, the doctors felt that Mattie would be able to lead a perfectly normal life. During testing, it was found that small objects, like a marble or a pencil, were sometimes hard for Mattie to hold and manipulate, but with some changes in her physical therapy routine to address that issue, it was believed that it could be improved. If that alone wasn't good news, the doctors also upgraded Mattie from the walker to crutches.

Mattie was beaming as she and the therapist, who was instructing her on the proper us of her crutches, demonstrated her newfound independence to Mac by having Mattie walk down the corridor with her. Of course, once the showing off was done, Mac made a call to Harm so that Mattie could tell him the good news.

Alas, the joy would be short lived.

On Thursday, June 16th, Mac arrived for her regular evening visit and saw Dr. Browning with two other doctors standing outside Mattie's room.

"Ms. MacKenzie, we were waiting for you. We were about to go in to talk to Mattie. Please join us."

At first, Mattie's room was filled with laughter and happiness as Mattie's doctors informed those present that Mattie had surpassed everyone's expectations and that a release date of June 20th had been set. A physical therapist would be required to do exercises with Mattie twice a week, and Mattie was given exercises to do by herself on days when she didn't see the therapist. The doctors warned that Mattie would have some difficulty during the first few weeks after discharge. Her muscles would be sore since they'd be used more, and she'd become fatigued quickly, but all of those things were normal and would get better with time, but, as a safety measure, they wanted her to return for follow-up visits every two weeks at first. Everything was wonderful until Dr. Browning began to speak.

"I know that Mr. Rabb was Mattie's guardian in the past, but if on June 20th, Mattie still has no parent or guardian to take physical custody of her, she'll still be released from Westover and will have to be placed in a foster home until such time as Mr. Rabb is awarded custody again."

After the doctors left, Mac called Harm and informed him of both the wonderful and the painful news. True to form, Harm held in any negative feelings and spoke only positively about what the doctors had to say when he talked with both Mac and Mattie.

With only six days left until Mattie was to be transferred to a foster home, Mac altered her regular schedule and visited Mattie after work on Friday and then she also visited her on Saturday as usual.

SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 2005

When Mac arrived for her usual Saturday visit, she was greeted by Ms. LeMoine, who wanted to speak with her before she went in to see Mattie.

Mac wondered if Ms. LeMoine had good news, but feared that it was more bad news.

"Ms. LeMoine, what brings you here on a Saturday?" Mac asked.

"I was checking with the staff to see when I could pick up Mattie on Monday. I also spoke with Mattie for a little while. She isn't happy about her release. Mattie said that you should be here soon, so I waited to ask you if you knew why she feels that way."

"I think I can help with that. She's happy about being well enough to leave the hospital, but she's upset with not being able to go home."

"Mattie said as much. I guess I was more interested in knowing if the two of you had as good a relationship as Mattie and Dr. Browning have made it seem."

"I see. Why is that of interest to you now?" Mac asked.

"Because, once Mattie is moved to the foster home, you won't be able to visit her."

"I understand that it might be disruptive to the home if I visit often, but are you saying that I won't be able to visit even once or twice?" Mac asked, her voice tense.

"I'm afraid that's what I'm saying. Ms. MacKenzie, you're a lawyer. You know that, legally speaking, you have no rights when it comes to Mattie. You're not a relative and your name isn't on the petition for custody. From speaking with Dr. Browning, I'm aware that the three of you have already begun to form a family bond, and though that family unit is important to Mattie's case, since you're only engaged and not married to Mr. Rabb, it doesn't give you any legal authority. I'm sorry, Ms. MacKenzie. I wish that there was something that I could do, but my hands are tied."

What could Mac say to that? Legally, the woman was right. Ms. LeMoine told Mac that she'd be contacting Mr. Rabb to see if he'd be in town prior to the hearing so that arrangements could be made for him to visit Mattie.

Ms. LeMoine got a small smile from Mac when she added that Mac could accompany Mr. Rabb on his visit to Mattie.

After another apology, Ms. LeMoine left.

Mac couldn't imagine what the next week was going to be like - for Mattie or for her - without the visits. Harm wasn't here, and now they wouldn't have each other either.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 2005

Knowing that today was the last day that they'd see each other until Harm arrived for the hearing, today's visit was pleasant, but awkward. The reason was, in part, because neither one of them wanted to admit how much the absence of the other was going to hurt.

Harm had called yesterday as usual, but Mac called him today so that they could both talk to him again.

Mac and Mattie each tried to make the other feel better with phrases like "the week will just fly by" or "with the time you save in travel time alone, you can make your own wedding dress."

When it was time to say good night, they both knew it, and Mattie reached for a spiral notebook. The cover read 'Harm and Mac's Wedding Plan.'

Mac's eyes filled with tears as she turned the first few pages. When Mattie said that she hoped that it helped and wished that she could finish it, Mac couldn't hold the tears in any longer and, once hers started to flow freely, Mattie's did as well. Mac put the open notebook down and pulled Mattie into a hug.

After a few minutes, their tears eased and the hug ended.

Mac closed the notebook, picked it up and hugged it to her body, grasping it tightly as if she were carrying the Ten Commandments. Then the two of them said good night - neither was going to say goodbye.

Mac took a moment in the car to compose herself.

Mattie had given her the book as if tonight were goodbye. Mac had thought about leaving the book behind, but then she'd thought that doing that might hurt Mattie more.

Mac didn't know what the court was going to decide, but how could they keep the three of them apart? Why did they have to transfer Mattie on Monday? It was only a week until the custody hearing...why couldn't they wait seven days to move Mattie?

Once Mac was safely at the apartment, she had to call Harm. She had to ask if she'd done the right thing in accepting the notebook and she needed to hear him say that everything was going to be okay.

In the days that followed, Mac tried to fill her new 'free time' in positive ways. She'd begun to pack items that weren't essentials for everyday living here for the move to San Diego.

It was hard to talk about Mattie and hard not to. Every email that she received from Harm, somewhere in its contents, he asked if she'd heard from Mattie.

In order to keep their sanity, they had to assume that no news was good news and that Mattie was doing well.