"All the promises you made to me, you made in vain." - Staind, 'Mudshovel'.
It was raining when they got back to Midgar, a slow and steady drizzle that had Sephiroth's wing soaked to its tiny bones. He stood outside of Cloud's small dorm apartment and hesitated entering. What would he tell Cloud, now that their family connection was gone? "Cloud, I'm not your cousin, but thanks for the years of illusion. You can send me back to the cave if you want." He practiced the speech over and over in his head, but it all came out wrong. Even so, he knew Cloud well enough to know that he wouldn't care about him any less.
Vincent had left his side as soon as they got to Midgar, stating simply that he had things to think about and needed to go to Wutai as soon as possible. With a hug and a handshake, the two agreed to get together again to talk more about Lucrecia and perhaps go visit her again soon. Sephiroth bit his lip and opened the door, where he was met with stares from Cloud, Reno and Genesis, who were gathered at the kitchen table. Cloud jumped up first and ran to him.
"You're okay?" the blond asked him. Sephiroth nodded, then stiffened when he saw Cloud's mouth drop open at the sight of his wing. "Seph… Sephiroth? Your wing came back," Cloud stuttered and pointed wordlessly as he turned to look at Reno and Genesis, who were as dumbstruck as he was. Genesis quickly recovered and went over to Sephiroth. Holding a dish towel, he began to gently wipe down his lover's wing, shaking his head and tsk-tsking at him. "Always remember not to let it come out during a bath or in the rain. It's a pain to get it dry," he told Sephiroth. Sephiroth shrugged. How was he supposed to know? Apparently everyone knew about the wing and he was left in the dark.
"I met my mother." The words came from his mouth suddenly and everyone gasped collectively. "And… I met my father," he added. Cloud visibly tensed up. The mere idea of Sephiroth being in Hojo's presence again scared the hell out of him. Who knew what type of mind control tricks the dead scientist could pull out of his pocket? Sephiroth looked directly into Cloud's eyes and said, "Vincent is my father." Cloud swallowed hard and his face appeared paler than usual. "So, that means…," he said, trembling slightly. Sephiroth didn't have to ask him to finish the statement. He nodded and confirmed Cloud's thoughts. "We are not related in any way whatsoever."
"I have to sit down," Cloud said, then stumbled to the couch. He sat for a moment, his eyes glazed and feeling sick to his stomach. If we are not family, then why did I feel such a need to bring you back? If Vincent knew the truth, why did he play into the charade and keep pretending that Sephiroth was my cousin? Did Vincent have ulterior motives, a selfish motive? If so, why didn't Vincent just bring Sephiroth back himself? The questions rolled around in his head and began to give him a headache. He shook the thoughts away, only leaving one question on the tip of his tongue.
"Where does this leave you and I, Sephiroth?"
Sephiroth pulled away from Genesis' caring hands stroking his wing dry, walked to the couch and sat down beside Cloud. Meeting the blond's eyes, he said simply, "Though we are not family, we will always have that illusion. We have spent all these years as a 'family' and have always treated each other as so. I see no need to stop doing that. We're not blood-related after all, but we have a past together -- and, we have the Jenova connection. As much as I hate that, you and I both are connected through the Jenova cells, and we will carry that for the rest of our lives."
Cloud exhaled loudly. "This is too much. One minute I'm happy to have a part of my family back, and the next minute I'm mourning the loss of family all over again," he said. Sephiroth shook his head. "Cloud, you are my family, even if it was all a lie and an illusion. I care for you deeply. Nothing will change this," he told the blond. Cloud turned away.
"…I have no family now."
As soon as the words left his mouth, he looked at Reno, who was giving him a sad look. Immediately, Cloud knew the effect of his words on Reno, and turned away from him shamefully. "I'm sorry, Reno. You know what I mean. I'm talking about blood relatives," he said softly, shaking his head. Reno shook his head as well and lit a cigarette. He exhaled the smoke and watched as it swirled around in front of him, then propped his feet onto a chair. He tapped his fingers lightly on the table and leaned his head back, propping it on the back of his chair.
"If you want blood relatives, Cloud, why don't you go dig up your mom and pump some noxious chemicals into her? Your father, maybe? Uncle Hojo, perhaps?"
The three men gasped and stared at him. Cloud cried out and darted to him. Quick as a flash and before Reno could react, Cloud pulled back his arm and slapped the brazen Turk across the mouth and nose. The mixture of the force behind his slap and the impact of the engagement ring on his finger made a snapping noise when it made contact with Reno's face and blood began to pour out of the redhead's nose. He pulled Reno up by the collar of his shirt and threw him against the wall.
"You talk about my mother like that again and I will fucking kill you!" He spat at Reno's feet and gave him a hard push. Reno coughed and doubled over as the pain finally hit him. Genesis threw him the dish towel he had been holding. Balling it up and placing it over his nose, he made a fist and punched the wall. The wood splintered upon impact and left a gaping hole. He grunted and cried out as he threw a glance at Cloud, who was now standing across the kitchen and crying.
"Get the fuck out, Reno! Just get out now! Don't fucking come back!" Cloud screamed at him between sobs. His voice was hoarse and he was breathing heavily. Rubbing his hand, he turned his back and twisted the ring on his finger. Pulling it off, he turned back around and hurled it at Reno. "Don't fucking come back, Reno. Don't fucking come back," he mumbled.
"Cloud, I'm sorry," Reno sputtered between labored breaths.
Cloud stepped forward once to slap the redhead again, but held himself back, screaming, "I know you are! You're only sorry now because I'm kicking your ass to the curb and you regret what you said, but you can't take that back! You know how much my mother meant to me, and you fucked up, Reno. You fucked up. Leave now. Don't come back."
Genesis and Sephiroth stood together at one side, watching the events play out in front of them, powerless to prevent anything from happening. Reno threw his cigarette into the sink and walked to the door. Before walking out, he turned to look at Cloud. "If I leave, I will not be coming back."
Cloud reeled as the impact of Reno's words hit him. Not coming back? But I love you. You love me. Why are we doing this? Why did you have to say what you did? He stood his ground, his brain vibrating with anger and pushing out any further thoughts of love. "Goodbye, Reno."
"Been nice knowing you, Strife."
The slamming of the door echoed in Cloud's mind over and over again, and he collapsed to the floor.
You promised me that you would never hurt me. You said you'd take care of me and protect me. Is this what it feels like to have your heart completely broken, to feel absolutely dead inside? I thought I was dead before I met you.
Now i'm dead without you.
