I don't own The Vampire Diaries.
A/N: Okay, so I'm kind of nervous about the reaction readers will have to this chapter. This is the rock bottom of the story and it will only get better for Damon and Caroline after this chapter.
I would just like readers to read this chapter remembering that people do stupid things in very emotional situations. Things they would never normally do. That's what I'm exploring here. They aren't perfect. Far from it.
I'm posting this and the next chapter together because they really need to be read right after each other.
Now, on to the chapter...
The Solution
Chapter 29
Damon had been a ball of guilt since he left Mystic Falls. He knew that Caroline loved him and he knew that he'd hurt her but he genuinely thought that she would be better off without him. He knew that she felt for him deeply but he figured, given time, that would fade and she'd move on. He was of course going to be a part of his children's lives but he thought that they'd have a happier mother if he wasn't there to hurt her. He'd tried so hard not to hurt her but it seemed that no matter what he did or wanted… he always hurt her anyway.
So, he worked on the turnings and concentrated his energy on that. There were almost a hundred ex-vampires in Brazil so he had his work cut out for him. When he had time, he put in some training time with some new vampires he made as it kept him busy. He didn't want to just be lying in his hotel room pining for Caroline – though that was always what happened. Whenever he went to bed at night, all he could think about was her. He found it strange that he still had no interest in sleeping around. He was single – but he couldn't do it. He had no interest in that at all. So, when he had nothing else to do, he lay in his hotel room bed and stared at the ceiling – replaying every moment with her over and over again.
He'd teased Stefan many times for being totally emo but it seemed that he was afflicted by the same thing. He missed her so much. He was keeping in touch with Stefan via text. He didn't call Stefan though, because Stefan's voice was filled with disappointment at what Damon had done. Stefan was disappointed that Damon left her. Damon gave up on trying to explain himself because Stefan wasn't listening.
Caroline on the other hand was depressed as hell and was trying to keep herself busy constantly. She hung out with Katherine, Bonnie, Stefan, Brent and Allan every day. Sometimes all together, sometimes individually or in smaller groups. Nobody was talking about Damon because anytime he was mentioned, Caroline welled up with tears and they didn't want to make it worse for her. She was thoroughly heartbroken and her pregnancy hormones weren't helping things. She'd never felt so low in her life - he was gone and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.
It was January 9th and Damon was lying in his hotel room watching some drab horror flick that he had no interest in. It was crap but he'd watched all of the other films already and had nothing else to do. His phone rang and he was alarmed to see that it was Liz calling him.
"What's wrong?" He answered immediately.
"I think it's about time that you came home, Damon." She advised sternly.
"Why? What happened?" He questioned concerned.
"What happened is that you proposed to my daughter then you up and left her and she's heartbroken. You need to get your ass back here and fix it." Liz declared seriously and he sighed.
"Liz, it's complicated." He started.
"Then simplify it and explain how that remotely makes any sense to you." She pushed annoyed.
"I left because Caroline admitted to Katherine that she wasn't eating because I wouldn't want her if she got fat." Damon responded. "I'm clearly really bad for her if I've made her feel that way. I'm not good enough for her. She'll get over it with some time." He said and Liz was quiet.
"You don't know the full story, Damon." She countered.
"What do you mean?" He asked confused.
"Caroline doesn't talk to me about personal things but Bonnie filled me in on what Caroline's been saying about you and apparently all you ever did was treat her like a princess, love her and care for her, so I don't see how that makes you bad for her. You made her happy." Liz remarked.
"I made her starve herself." He countered.
"Let me finish." She said annoyed.
"Sorry." He muttered.
"The full story is that when Caroline was fourteen, she was hospitalised with an eating disorder." Liz revealed and Damon's jaw dropped. "Caroline was starving herself and was becoming anorexic. This was not because of you. She has been self-conscious about her body since she was a young teenager. Since then, she always was very strict with what she ate. It doesn't really surprise me that she wasn't eating properly given how much her body has changed already with the pregnancy. Her worry about you not wanting her was nothing that you did. It won't matter what you say or do, Caroline will always have an issue with her weight. Being a vampire helped in a way because obviously she couldn't gain weight in that situation. I think it's another reason that she wants to turn back eventually. But being without you is only making her heartbroken and depressed. This does not remotely help her. I know that you love her, Damon, so stop with the crap and come home." Liz instructed and Damon was wide eyed. He knew what he had to do.
"I'll be home tomorrow." He promised quietly, he'd never in his life felt so guilty as he did then for up and leaving her when she'd clearly needed him.
"Good." Liz replied.
The following day, Caroline was partnered up with Allan in English class because Katherine and Brent partnered up together. They had to do a project on a book, so Caroline invited him over to finish it after school. They sat on her bed and made a poster together for the book presentation then when they were finished Caroline suggested that they order a pizza so she stuck a movie on while they waited for the pizza to arrive. They were sitting side by side on the bed as they watched. They were five minutes into the movie when Allan had to ask.
"Have you heard from Damon?" He queried her and she sighed.
"No. Stefan's texting him updates but I haven't spoken to him since we broke up two and a half weeks ago." She confessed and he nodded.
"Are you okay?" He asked her concerned and she turned her head to look at him. She stared into his eyes and she realised that her face was only inches from his.
"I'm trying to deal." She whispered. His gaze went to her lips but he'd already made a move on her before so he wasn't going to do it again only to get rejected. Caroline knew what he wanted and she just wanted some affection. She was convinced that she'd never be with Damon again. It was over. He didn't want her and she'd been practically crying non-stop since he left. She missed him so much and she was truly heartbroken.
Yet, there was Allan. He wanted her. He cared about her. He was there. She knew it was wrong… but she leaned into him a little and he took that as the go ahead. He brushed his lips with hers and kissed her. She kissed him back this time. One of his hands cupped her cheek just as they opened their mouths a little and let their tongues mingle. He gently pulled her closer and her hands went to his sides as they deepened the kiss. He pushed her a little as he leaned over her and soon her back was on her bed and he was lying on his side half over her and she held him close as they continued to kiss. Allan broke their kiss, pulled his t-shirt off, dumped it on the floor then went back to kissing her. Caroline's hands explored his chest and stomach just as his hands went to cup her ass and he pulled her closer to him. He wrapped one arm around her back just as his other hand started to unbutton her jeans.
It felt so wrong, but Caroline was so starved for intimacy without Damon – she couldn't find the will to stop. She just wanted to feel wanted. Just for a moment. Just to shut the pain out for a little while because the pain was becoming too much to bear.
Liz got out of her car that evening and walked up to the front door just as Damon's car pulled up. She smiled softly that he'd gotten there so fast. He jumped out of the car and hurried up to the door.
"She'll be so happy to see you." Liz said softly.
"I missed her so much, Liz." He admitted.
"She's probably in her room. She's been so sad for the past few weeks. Actually, I'll go with you, if that's okay?" She requested and he nodded.
"Might be easier with a buffer anyway." He mumbled and she chuckled.
"Are you nervous?" She asked teasingly with a smirk.
"A little." He admitted. "I just…" He trailed off.
"I know." She smiled then opened the front door. She closed it behind him then they walked down the hall to Caroline's room. Damon could hear the TV on in her room and his hand went to the handle then he opened her door and both Liz and Damon's jaws dropped in shock.
Caroline was lying on her side in her bed facing the door. Allan had passed out when they were finished and he was asleep on his back. She'd moved over so that she was practically on the edge of the bed because she didn't want him to touch her. Tears fell down her cheeks at what she'd just done. She was so disgusted with herself now that she was thinking straight again. She'd wanted him to leave so badly afterwards but he'd just fallen asleep instead. She missed being a vampire so much because if she'd felt that awful as a vampire, she could just flip the switch. She was so horrified with herself that her chest ached, tears blinded her and her pillow was drenched.
She thought that she heard the front door but her mom always called out that she was home so she figured it must have been the TV. She was trying not to all out sob because she was sure that would wake Allan and she had no idea what to say to him after that. Then all of a sudden, her bedroom door opened and there stood her mother – and Damon. Her eyes widened in disbelief that Damon chose that moment to come home.
Liz and Damon saw Allan lying shirtless asleep behind her on his back. The cover was over them but it was so obvious what had clearly happened considering his jeans and boxers were on the floor. Liz inhaled in horror at the sight then immediately looked at Damon who was just wearing a blank expression.
"Oh my God." Caroline gasped in shock at getting caught like that.
"Caroline!" Liz exclaimed stunned.
"So much for him only being only a 'buddy' that you had no attraction to." Damon muttered emotionlessly then he disappeared in a flash and Caroline cried while Liz gaped at her daughter.
"What the hell did you do?" Liz exclaimed in shock just as Allan stirred. His eyes widened at the sight of the Sheriff standing there catching them. "You're pregnant, for Christ's sake, Caroline! I called Damon and told him the truth and he came straight home for you. How could you do this?" Liz questioned her daughter in disbelief and Caroline cried. Liz shook her head in anger then slammed Caroline's door hard behind her.
Damon wandered into the boarding house with a solemn expression on his face. He had told her that the Allan guy would be better for her. But he hadn't exactly meant that she should sleep with the guy while pregnant with his kids. He was sure if he was human, he wouldn't have been able to breathe. His chest felt like it was crushing in on itself. Stefan, Bonnie, Katherine and Brent were in the living room and they were all shocked at the sight of him there. He hadn't told anyone that he was coming back. They all saw his expression and didn't understand.
"Damon? When did you get back?" Stefan asked him shocked.
"What's wrong?" Katherine asked him concerned.
"I just saw her in bed with Allan." Damon stated emotionlessly not making eye contact with them and they all nearly fell over in shock. Damon hadn't stopped walking when he said that and he continued right up the stairs without another word and all four of them were wide eyed.
"Oh my God. This is so bad." Stefan muttered with his eyes saucer wide as he stood up. "Uh… I don't mean this in a bad way, but you should probably go." He said to Brent then hurried up the stairs after Damon. Stefan was a tiny bit worried that Damon might snap and kill Brent and thought it might be better if he left.
"I'll call you later, sweetie." Katherine said to Brent who nodded in understanding considering he was Allan's best friend and it was still Damon's house he was sitting in. (Obviously Brent didn't know that Stefan was old enough to also own the house.)
Stefan let himself into Damon's room and found Damon sitting on the edge of his bed staring into space.
"I had no idea. I swear." Stefan promised his brother sincerely and Damon nodded.
"I broke up with her weeks ago. She doesn't answer to me and she can do whatever she wants. It's my fault for leaving her the way I did." Damon said absently. Stefan knew that Damon was feeling this really badly and was just trying not to show it but he wasn't going to let him bottle it up. He wanted Damon to know that he was always going to be on his side. Stefan walked over to him and pulled Damon to his feet then hugged him tightly. Damon just stood there and let his little brother hug him.
"I'm sorry, Damon." Stefan whispered.
"It was the same bedding, Stef." Damon said as his voice cracked. "The same bedding that was on her bed when I was human." He clarified and Stefan just hugged him tighter. Damon couldn't really stop himself any longer, so his arms went around his little brother and he buried his face in Stefan's shoulder as the tears streamed down his face.
"It'll be okay, Damon." Stefan soothed rubbing his back.
Bonnie left the boarding house to go to Caroline's house and Katherine stayed behind just in case Caroline showed up there. Bonnie drove as fast as she could to the Sheriff's house and she hurried up to the door and knocked. Liz opened the door and she looked furious.
"Hey, is Care here?" Bonnie asked her and Liz's jaw clenched.
"She's in her room." Liz informed and her tone was tinged with fury. Bonnie was surprised that she clearly knew what happened.
"Were you here when Damon was here?" Bonnie inquired and Liz nodded.
"We both walked in on it." Liz revealed shocking her. "Did you see him?" She asked and Bonnie nodded.
"He showed up at the boarding house like ten minutes ago." Bonnie replied.
"And? How was he?" Liz questioned concerned.
"As pale as a ghost and he looked totally distraught." Bonnie responded biting her lip and Liz sighed sadly.
"Can you find out what the hell is wrong with her head?" Liz asked her annoyed and Bonnie nodded then hurried down to Caroline's room. She was lying on her bed sobbing into her pillow and Allan was gone.
"Care?" Bonnie questioned softly and Caroline looked up at her.
"Did you see Damon?" Caroline sobbed and Bonnie nodded.
"He's at the boarding house." Bonnie replied. "How did this happen?" She sighed.
Caroline was so upset that she stayed home from school the following day. She was sitting in the living room wrapped up on the couch with a blanket and she'd had bouts of crying all morning. Her eyes were red and puffy and there was a knock on her front door at just after 12.30pm. She reluctantly got up to answer it and when she opened the door, her jaw dropped at the sight of Damon standing there.
"Damon." She gasped and he took a deep breath.
"Stefan told me that you stayed home today, so I brought you lunch." He stated motioning to the bag and she looked at him confused. Damon saw her puffy eyes and he knew that she was beating herself up about what happened, so he decided that he wasn't going to add to it. He genuinely didn't want to make her feel worse.
"Don't you hate me?" She tested miserably while her eyes welled with tears and that expression on her face broke Damon's heart. She was totally hating herself and he just couldn't bear that.
"No, of course not." He shook his head. "I still love you." He reassured her gently and she sobbed. "Hey, no more tears." He said to her brushing the tears away from under her eyes. "Crying will only dehydrate you." He joked hoping to make her laugh but she looked at him brokenly. "So, can I come in or what?" He asked her and she nodded immediately and stepped out of the way. Damon walked inside and closed the door behind him then put his arm over her shoulders and led her back to where she'd been sitting on the couch. "Sit. I'll get you a plate."
"I'm not hungry." She sobbed and he cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Not even for truffle mushroom pasta?" He probed and she saw in his expression that he was going to nag at her to eat until she agreed.
"Only if you eat too." She replied in a small voice and he nodded.
"I got enough for both of us." He agreed. "Sit." He instructed delicately to her and she reluctantly sat and pulled the blanket around herself again. Damon reappeared about two minutes later with a plate for her and set it down on the little table she'd set her apple juice on earlier. He disappeared again then returned with a plate for himself and a glass of juice. He sat down next to her and she looked at him confused.
"Why did you come here today?" She asked him, her voice cracking and he stuck some pasta in his mouth as he came up with an answer for her.
"I thought that we should probably talk." He remarked.
"About?" She tested hesitantly.
"Us." He said like it was obvious and she bit her lip.
"Are you… Can you… Will you ever forgive me?" She sobbed and he sighed.
"Caroline, please stop crying." He requested kindly as he took her hand. "I want to have a serious conversation with you but I can't if you get upset because it just makes me upset." He said and she nodded then wiped her eyes. "Eat." He instructed pointing to the plate and she stuck some pasta in her mouth. "Forgive you for what?" He queried and she looked at him like he was stupid.
"Yesterday." She answered and he sighed.
"We aren't together. I'm not pissed at you for sleeping with Allan." He admitted and she gaped at him.
"You're not?" She questioned shocked.
"No." He said. "Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell, but I'm not mad at you for that, no." He clarified and she winced at the fact she'd hurt him. "Obviously, I wish I hadn't walked in on that but it's done. If I hadn't left the way I did, I doubt that would have happened, so I'm partially to blame for that."
"No, you aren't." She refuted softly. "It's all my fault." She stated ashamedly.
"Look, can we not talk about that?" He requested. "I'm trying to block it out." He muttered and she gulped.
"Okay." She said…
A/N: Please don't hate me! They're going to talk in the next chapter.
