Chapter 29 - PS. I Love You
This chapter's sad, and I'm really happy with how it's written. We're gonna look at the roller coaster of emotions Kori's feeling. Great reviews last chapter, a lot of emotion in them. I really should start killing more people it got like 30 reviews. 435 reviews for an update. Truthfully my goal is to make you cry before you finish reading this chapter. Let's see how that goes.
Kstar- Your review made me laugh :).
just me- Thank you, male, 18, Georgia
J.A.M.B- Good ideas and thanks for the very detailed review. The spelling mistakes are usually a result of me typing a 5'000 word chapter in a little over day, but there should be far less if any. I just figured out this web site had a spell checker. *Sheepish smile.* I'm not the most observant person.
D- straight to the point and blunt... I like it.
Tuesday, February 5th - Friday February 15th - Royal Palace
Normal POV
Pain. That was all she felt. A somberness so deeply rooted inside of her that it couldn't even be described as sadness.
After killing Karras, she watched through her tear filled eyes as Cyborg removed the spear from Richard's chest, before hurriedly carrying his lifeless body off to the medical bay of the arena. She remembered him screaming demands, telling everyone to move out of the way. Only him and Raven were rational enough to be allowed inside the room, everyone one else was just a wreck.
Kori and the rest of the group waited in the waiting room just outside the medical bay's door. Wally was inconsolable, and Bee and Gar weren't doing much better, but there wasn't a word in the English language to describe how Kori felt. She had just lost her entire world in a matter of seconds. He should be here. The challenge was over. It just wasn't fair. Why must it have ended that way? They were going to spend the rest of their lives together, get married, have children, grow old. He said so himself,... but now this happened. Oh, why did he leave her?
Hours passed before Raven and Vic finally emerged from the room, both looking just as somber as everyone else. Raven said she did the best she could, but it was just as she feared. The spear had penetrated his heart, and it was just a waiting game now. They had managed to get his heart started, but it wasn't looking good.
Kori begged her to do something, to send her inside his head again, but Raven said he wasn't in a coma like last time, and there was nothing else she could do.
Kori knew what that meant. She had lost him. He was gone.
That night she sat by his bed side, ran her hands through his hair, talked to him as if he could hear her, even though she knew he couldn't. She told him how much she loved him, what their wedding was supposed to have been like, what names she would have liked to have named their children. Just anything that came to her mind. At some point during the long night she fell asleep. She prayed to X'hal that when she opened her eyes the next morning he would be awake.
He wasn't.
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Alone. She just wanted to be alone. For everyone to stop saying it was going be okay. That things would get better when they wouldn't.
She had locked herself in the medical bay all day, not allowing anyone besides Raven in, and that was only because she had to check his vitals and do a healing session.
There was no one she wanted to see that wasn't Richard. Not this body laying on the bed, but her Richard. The one that held her at night. The one who watched movies with her until she fell asleep. The one who had loved her and shown her kindness unlike anyone she had ever met. The one who could get on her last nerve at times, but she loved more than words could describe. The one who gave her all her happiness.
If she couldn't have him, she didn't want anyone.
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Anger. She was angry at herself. Angry for letting all this happen. Angry for letting Richard come. He should have stayed away!
Her anger gravitated to others around her. Lashing out at them very uncharacteristically for things they done or things they didn't do. No one retorted. They couldn't know the pain she must be in, so they just took it.
She was furious at Karras for stabbing him. Her only happiness came from him being dead.
Raven for not saving him. She should have done more. Should have tried harder!
Wally for not being fast enough. He could have ran quicker. He could saved him, but he didn't.
All of Tameran for their culture. They were the cause of his death. If it was the last thing she did the High Council would pay, and pay dearly.
Richard for leaving her. Why wouldn't he just wake up? Did he know the pain he was putting her through?
Then once again herself. It was still all her fault that any of this happened.
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Remembrance. Old memories full of things they did together filled her mind. She played back the conversation they had at the lunch table the day they first met. Him moving her into his house, that eventually would become their house. The beautiful emerald necklace he gave her that still hadn't left her neck. Their first kiss. Finding out he was Nightwing. Going to Gotham to meet his family... Everything.
The memory were the only thing that could make her smile. She was so happy when she was with him. She looked through pictures on his phone. Hundreds of moments captured in time, most of which involved her. She laughed a little at a picture where he had caught her dancing in her room, singing at the top of her lungs about how if you liked it you should have put a ring on it as she did. She looked absolutely absurd and he had sworn he deleted it. She should have known better.
There was a few videos on the phone, and curious to what was on them, she clicked on one and an image of Richard's face appeared on the screen. He looked very dishevelled, almost in worried. She had listened with great interest as he began to speak.
"Saturday, October thrid, recording session number one," he stated the date. Kori was surprised. That was such a long time ago. "So, Kori's gonna be knocking at my door in like two hours, and I'm gonna tell her I'm Nightwing. Crazy, right?... We've became so close, closer that I ever thought I would be with any girl that wasn't Babs. I mean I am honestly in love with her, and it's scaring the hell out of me."
Letting out a sigh, he leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm scared she's gonna break up with me. I mean I lie to her all the time. I wouldn't blame her if she just gave up on me. I know she has some kinda secret as well, but I mean, how bad could it be, right?"
If this wasn't so sad it would be amusing.
"I guess sometimes you just have to hold your breath and jump into the water, and hope you don't sink. We'll see how it goes." The video clicked off, and Kori instantly moved to the next one.
"Monday, October thirty-first, recording session number two." He leaned back in his chair and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. Judging by the darkness behind him it obviously had been late when he had done the video. "So, Kori made me take her the tricking or the treating as she called it. She went as wonder Woman. God she looked so sexy in that costume."
Kori smiled.
"If it wasn't so freaking cold outside I might say I actually had a good time. It was pretty funny to watch some of the people's expressions when an eighteen year old girl showed up at their door wanting candy. She actually managed to get three buckets full. Anytime someone gave her only a couple of pieces she would give them her puppy dog eyes. I'm glad I'm not the only one those work on."
He had chuckled as he thought of something else. "At one house, a guy dressed as Freddy Krugar was on the front lawn. She refused to get out the car, saying something like 'do you wish for me to be killed as I sleep?'. I told her it was just a guy in a mask, but she was not having it. I love how she can be like a kid sometimes. It's just so cute."
He paused for a moment before continuing. "God, do I love her. Seriously, everything about her is just... I can't even explain it. I love the her smile, her eyes, the way her face gets red when she breaks something, the way she can't cook to save her life, but she trys so hard, the way her eyebrows scrunch when she is confused, just everything."
Realizing he was rambling he refocused. "Anyway, the point I making is," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a familiar black box, and opened it revealing the diamond ring she was currently wearing, "I'm really serious about her, and after talking to myself for like the last hour I think I'm ready to give this to her, I just got to find the perfect moment. She deserves that, and so much more." With that the video ended.
With that one concluded she clicked on the next. Again Richard's face appeared on the screen in front of her. "Tuesday, December twenty-sixth recording session number three," He took a bite of the chips he was eating before continuing. "Christmas is finally over. Thank God! Me and the Titans went to the Watchtower for a Christmas party on the twenty-third, and boy was it eventful. As soon as we walked through the door Zatanna was feeling on me. Not a good start to the night."
Kori agreed.
"After that Gar was going bug eyed over Wonder Woman and Superman, Kori was dancing with everyone in the building... including Speedy," he frowned at that. "Vic and Bee were doing things on the dance floor I want even begin to describe, and Raven had to spend the whole night chasing Gar around."
He paused, eating another chip. "If that wasn't bad enough, the next day we had a Christmas party of our own and Kori decided she was going to cook." He grimaced and for some reason Kori smiled. "It wasn't... bad exactly, but next year I think we'll go back to Gotham for Christmas and leave all the cooking to Alfred. On the bright side, Kori loved Christmas morning. I managed to get a picture of her face when she opened her phone. I love seeing her smile. It's like it makes the whole room just a little bit brighter."
He laughed a little. "Instead of going the easy route, and going to the mall to buy me something, she painted a picture of us and our friends and gave it to me. I have to say she is really talented. She could probably make a career out of it if she wanted to."
He then turned serious, and paused in thought. "I've decided I'm going to give her the ring on New Years. The city's doing some kinda big firework show like they did last year, so I think that would be a really nice moment. Hope she likes it." The video stopped, and Kori looked down at her ring with a sad smile.
Kori moved on to the next. She could tell that when his image popped up that the background was that of the ship they had traveled to Tameran on.
"Monday, January twenty-eighth recording session number four. So, basically it's been over a month since I done one of these, and a lot has happend. Me and Kori are engaged, The Titans are a somewhat fuctional team at this point, and Kori's been called home to Tameran." He glanced around the room. "Actually we're on our way there right now."
A deep sigh escaped him. "For the first time in my life I'm terrified. Not of this Karras guy, I'm pretty sure I can take him. The only thing that scares me is that 'what if?' factor. I mean if I make a single mistake it could be over. I don't wanna lose Kori... I can't lose her."
He was quite for a moment and Kori could see the glitter of a tear in his eye. "Most people wouldn't understand. They would say that she's just a girl, there's plenty of them out there, and it's stupid to go to such lengths for someone, but those people couldn't be more wrong." He shook his head as a tear fell. "She isn't just a girl. She's my best friend, my girlfriend, and as corny as it is to say, she's my everything."
Kori smiled lovingly.
"Don't get me wrong, she's weird... really weird."
Her smile fell and she frowned at the phone.
"But that's just another reason why I love her. When I met her, she was so different from all the other girls, so shy, so nice, that it just drew me in. She isn't perfect, and she doesn't try to be... It's very refreshing to have a girl who isn't afraid to be who she is without trying to change because society considers her a little strange. Honestly she's everything I could ask for and more, and if I make it back from this, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life trying to deserve her."
One more. It was Nightwing on the screen this time instead of Richard, and she recognized his surroundings as one of the locker room's at the arena. This had to be taken just before the fight! "Kori, this is a direct message to you." She gasped. He raised the mask off his face, and she could see tears were already in his eyes.
"If your watching this, it most likely means I didn't make it... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, I tried so hard. I know I did." He paused long enough to take in a breath of air. "Tell everyone to not worry, that I'm in a better place. Tell them to stop crying, I'll see them again some day. Tell them that I love all of them. If you return to Earth tell Bruce I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, and despite how much we fought that he was a great father, and I love him."
Tears began to roll down his face. "Tell Babs to keep fighting, I know she will get to one hundred percent, and that I'll always love her. Tell Tim to be a good Robin, and eventually I want him to take my place as Nightwing. Tell Alfred that he has always been a grandfather to me and I wished I had spent more time with him. Tell Selina that she will always be my mother, and I hope her and Bruce get married really soon. They deserve each other."
Another pause. "Tell Gar to take care of Raven, or the other way around. I love both of them. Tell Vic and Bee to cherish what they have, because it can be taken a way from you just like that." How well she knew. "Tell Wally that I love him, and to find someone who is going to really make him happy. He's my bestfriend and I want someone to take care of him just like you take care of me."
He took a rough breath. "And finally, you..." His voice was shaky and she could tell he was fighting his tears. "I'm gonna miss you so much, and I want you to know that I'll aways be with no matter what. Do me a favor. Be happy, that's all I want. Don't dwell on me, move on, learn to love again. The house, my car,... everything, it's yours. Live long and well."
His hand reached to stop the video, but he paused just before cutting of. "PS. I love you." There was a sadness so deep in his voice that it broke his heart all over again.
She cried.
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Depression. She felt empty. The pain was gone, replaced by a deep nothingness. She didn't eat. She didn't move. She didn't talk. She didn't hope. It was over. He was gone, and there was nothing anyone could do to change that. She stared vacantly at the world around her, which had became nothing more than a twenty foot room in the last week.
His music had become her only friend. The sound of it filled her ears and she mumbled the words along with the song.
"I'm wide awake, but I'm not feeling anything, now that your gone. Left me with every piece of my broken soul.
Sitting here alone, not a feeling inside of me. Now that your gone, the darkness is all that I can see. No moving on, your every in single part of me."
She repeated those two lines over and over. They described how she felt perfectly.
Her friends tried to comfort her, to make her smile, but without Richard there was no smile on her face, no happiness in her eyes, no joy in her soul, no love in her heart... There was nothing.
She wished she could just die. At least then the darkness that clouded her mind and heart would go away and she wouldn't have to live the rest of her life with this giant hole in her heart where so much love had once been.
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Panic. She was setting by his side in the medical bay when the monitor flat lined. A loud screeching beep sounded throughout the room. Kori didn't know what was going on, only that a moment later Raven and Vic burst through the doors and forced her to leave.
She didn't know what was happening. Why had the machine been making that sound? Why did Raven and Vic look so worried when they forced her out?
She asked Bee. She wished she hadn't. The answer she got completely broke her.
Saturday, February 16th 8:00 AM - waiting room.
Normal POV
Kori sat in the waiting room along with Wally, Bee, and Gar, absently playing with the diamond ring on her finger. After a long night with no sleep there was still no word on Richard's condition. Vic had only been out once and the only information he gave was that the next twenty-four hours were going to be critical for his survival, but the pain in his voice when he said told her all she needed to know.
For the first time she noticed just how badly everyone was hurting. When they saw the final video on Richard's phone it crashed a wrecking ball into any emotional walls they had tried to build up. Wally was a wreck, Gar was wordless, and she hadn't see anything even close to a smile on Bee's face.
The room was dead silent. She imagined if anyone had any tears left all four of them would be crying, but after ten days of pouring your heart out you eventually run dry.
Everyone's attention was captured when the waiting room door opened and Galfore entered the room. He slowly walked took a seat beside Kori, lightly placing a hand on her shoulder. "How are you, little one?"
For some reason that simple question sent Kori over the edge and she managed to find tears from somewhere in her. "I miss him so much," she replied, burying her face in her hands.
Galfore just swallowed. "He is strong, he shall pull through."
She just shook her head. "I am tired of believing that. Ever time I begin to hope my heart only breaks once more."
Galfore sighed. "He loves you very much."
Kori raised her head and looked over at him. "He loved me very much," she corrected. "Richard is gone. Everyone says it is going to be the okay, but it is not. It shall never be the okay again."
Suddenly Wally exploded from is his chair, his face one of anger. "Dick isn't dead yet, and I'm so tired of hearing everyone talk like he is. I've known him for almost nine years and I guarantee you he's fighting to live. Stop doubting him, all of you!"
Everyone stared at the normally go with the flow Wally in disbelief. He was the last person they expected an outburst from.
Gar was the next to say something. "He's right. We need to believe in him. We got to trust he's going to pull through."
"He has not opened his eyes in eleven Earth days. Why should I hurt myself more by believing only to find every morning that he has still not awoken? Why continue to put myself through such heartbreak?," Kori yelled, though her dry voice could barely be carried.
Galfore stood. "That is what love is Koriand'r, believing in someone no matter how much it hurts to do so. No matter if it breaks your heart, you must believe."
Kori blinked. That was by far the deepest thing she had ever heard Galfore say. She suddenly felt ashamed herself. Had she really quit believing in Richard so easily? Was she really so selfish to not want to believe in him because doing so was ripping her more apart with each passing day?
No... She had faith somewhere inside of her. Richard would wake. She didn't know when, she didn't how, but he would. He wouldn't let her down, he wouldn't leave her. He never had before, so she just had to continue to hope, continue to believe that his eyes would one day open, and they would spend the rest of their lives together, start a family, live happily ever after just like in the movies.
She had to ignore that rational side of her that said life isn't a movie, and it does not always have a happy ending because if she began to think rationally she would surely break down again.
She sighed. "You are right." A light smile played at her lips. "He will awake, I feel this."
Glafore smiled along with the rest of the group. Suddenly the sound of the waiting room door opening once more caught everyone's attention.
A royal guard entered the room and bowed. "Grand Ruler, the High Council requests an audience with you as soon as possible. They know you are grieving your chosen's loss, but they say it is important that they meet with you."
Kori's eyes narrowed. "My chosen is not yet lost," she growled.
After seeing what the Grand Ruler had done to Karras, the guard didn't like that look she had in her eyes. "My mistake. I am only telling what I was told to."
Kori sighed. It wasn't the guards fault. "My apologies, I am under much stress. Please tell the High Council that I shall be joining them shortly."
"I shall," he said before standing and quickly exiting the room.
"What did he say?," Bee questioned.
"They wish to speak with me. I am not sure of what," Kori replied.
"Do you wish for me to go with you, Koriand'r?," Galfore asked.
"No, I shall be the okay," she assured.
Galfore nodded before retaking his seat. "Very well. If you have any problems find me."
She gave a half hearted smile. "I shall."
Saturday, February 16th 9:00 AM - High Council's Chamber
Kori's POV
I walk into the High Council's chamber, finding all ten members of the council seated and waiting on me. I step to center of the room and turn to face them, my eyes narrowed and my fist clenched. They have chosen a bad time to call me here. "Why have you asked me here?"
Niro stands from his seat. "Grand Ruler, we would like to inform you that in light of Prince Karras and your chosen's death, we have selected a new suitor for you to marry."
I cannot believe this. They actually believe I shall marry another? My eyes begin to blaze green and Niro takes a step back. "You will listen to me, and you will listen well. My chosen is not yet dead, and if he dies I shall still not marry anyone. You may attempt to capture or kill me, but I promise you before either of those things are accomplished I shall kill all ten of you, and if you doubt me just ask Prince Karras."
I see him swallow and glance at the other council members uneasily. "Please Grand Ruler, I mean no disrespect, but you know the rules of our culture."
"Yes, I do know the rules," I growl. "Nightwing defeated Karras. I am no longer obligated to remain here, and I shall not. I am going to return to Earth rather my chosen is to survive or not, and anyone who trys to stop will me join Karras at X'hal's gate. My home is not here, it is Earth, where my friends are and where my chosen's family is."
Niro grits his teeth together. I know he believes me to be naive, and that may be true, but I am far from stupid. My father was once Grand Ruler, I know Tameranian law. Before he has a chance to reply, Vic bursts through the door.
"Outsiders are not aloud in here," Niro shouts.
Vic obviously not understanding or caring what Niro has to say, looks over at me.
My heart freezes in my chest. I do not like the look on his face or the tears in his normal eye.
"Kori..."
The line "PS. I love you" killed me, hence why I used it as the title. The chapter was originally called The Fallout.
