Chapter Twenty-nine
"I wanted to say I am sorry." Legolas looked surprised by this as if it was the last thing he was expecting her to do. She ploughed on keeping her nerve. "I should never have run out on you like that, you deserved more than that. Despite your sage advice that I run, I have come to realise that that should not apply to social situations."
She took another deep breath as she tried to get it all out. Getting something off her chest was a thing she did not do often and all of a sudden she felt awfully exposed.
"We are friends aren't we, that is what you said, and the truth is I am not very good with friends." She thought back to her mobile phone inbox. "I don't have any real friends, I've pushed people away and I shut myself off. You were right when you said I had become cold and unfeeling."
Legolas shook his head and interrupted. "That is not true. Maybe on the outside you might feel that way but on the inside, you feel keenly. I know it, it is written on your face when you think no one is looking."
"I am not the only one hiding something though am I?"
Legolas stiffened slightly, tension creeping into his shoulders. Her words of the night before came to him when she had asked him what he had wanted.
She continued. "You do not have to share whatever it is with me. I won't push you."
"Like I have pushed you." He added.
It was a good point he made but she did not want this to all be about scolding him for his past indiscretions and words. "I am not very good at this." She said finally while shaking her head. "Gandalf came to see me this morning and I asked him if he needed me to come with him." Legolas was watching her signs carefully. "It was the first time I had really thought about need. What I need."
She paused once more and took a deep steadying breath.
"I need you Legolas, you are all I have here, but you are more than that, you are the best friend I've ever had." She watched his reaction to this and was pleased when a small smile graced his lips. He seemed to relax somewhat now so she steeled her nerves and continued with what she knew would be the most awkward bit. "About last night I..."
"Amy, you don't have to..." Legolas interrupted her but she cut him off in turn.
"Please let me finish, if I don't say it now I probably never will. I don't know what came over me last night, I am sorry, my mind was all over the place and I needed a friend, to feel close to someone after years of loneliness and I guess I took it too far." As she signed now Legolas felt his heart burning as she chipped away at it. She regretted what had happened between them. "We are friends and I crossed a line, it was a mistake and I don't want to ruin our friendship so please accept my apology and we can forget it ever happened." It was what she had decided that morning, she would salvage their friendship no matter the price.
She had not maintained eye contact with him during her little speech too mortified to do so, so when she finally met his gaze she was shocked at the expression on his face. He looked destroyed. She wanted to continue but she could no longer form the words with her hands. Legolas was always so quick to hide any emotion so to see him standing there his skin ashen, and his eyes filled with sorrow was disarming. She could not draw her gaze away though and the two of them stared at each other in a moment that was laced with tension. She thought he would be appeased by her words but clearly that was not the case, her well thought out plan was not working.
Finally Legolas chose to sign and Amy watched as the sorrow disappeared only to be replaced with annoyance. "You are forgetting something?"
"What do you mean?" If she had spoken these words she would have stammered as she willed her heart to stopped beating so hard against her chest.
"I kissed you, not the other way round."
She had not forgotten that but she had chosen to ignore it, because that little detail made everything different. That little detail that had repeatedly pushed itself to the front of her thoughts, that little detail that had frightened her in way she had not felt before. "Legolas I..." She stopped when he began to approach her; he closed the gap between them so they were stood directly in front of one another. She felt her breath catch in her throat. She had sworn she would remain calm, if she let him he would wipe out all her carefully prepared words, words designed to protect her pride, words that had made her feel brave pursuing a friendship.
"I wanted to come after you, to apologise for taking advantage, because it was me that kissed you." His signed were calmer than he felt inside. He knew he could not go along with her request and pretend to forget about it. He knew that with all the best intentions eventually he would have to reveal his heart lest it broke from being ignored. Aragorn's words had stuck in head. He was going to walk the path he had chosen no matter the consequences. "I couldn't though because all I really wanted to do was kiss you again. I won't accept your apology, and I refuse to forget about it." At first she read his body language as anger as anyone would but there were little nuances there that told her it was not anger that tightened his jaw and made his eyes flash but passion. "Ask me again." Legolas said finally.
Amy felt her body betray her as she unconsciously lent forward feeling the heat of his body. There was no room between them to sign anymore.
"What did you ask me?" Legolas spoke now and she watched his lips carefully.
She had not forgotten, she knew what she had asked him. "What do you want?" Her lips moved but no sound came out.
He took a step back now to sign to her. "I want you."
He paused and for a moment Amy thought he wanted her to respond but her mind of all moments had chosen this one to desert her and go blank. She almost let out an audible sigh when he finally continued.
"It was no mistake on my part and I do not regret one single moment of it. I won't apologise either because it would be a lie. Now will you still choose to ignore what happened? Will you still refuse to acknowledge that I want you?!"
Neither of them moved an inch.
After what seemed like a lifetime Amy let out the breath she had been holding. She had acknowledged it. As she lay in her bed last night she had acknowledged it and argued against it, told herself that she was foolish to believe he would want her. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and he was her friend, it was beyond the stuff of dreams that he would find her desirable. She had tried to deny that it had happened but it was as he had said it, he kissed her, and now as clear as day he stood before her validating all that she had denied.
As time passed and his eyes bore into her she found the clarity of mind she had so desperately sought for since she had arrived in Middle Earth. She closed the gap between them, only stopping when her toes bumped his. Her hands rested nervously on his chest and she felt her throat gulp involuntary. Maybe this was a huge mistake, but her mother had always said that it was mistakes that made a person. It was about time she took her mother's advice. She went up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. She kissed him.
There was a brief hesitation from Legolas as shock rendered him still but it was not long before his body responded and he gathered her to him deepening the kiss immediately. Her hands fastened round his neck and ran through his hair. She then worked the braids out of it so that it fell freely around his face, her fingers eager to feel every part of him.
Legolas had not had time up to this point to gather his thoughts as her hands worked their way to the hemline of his tunic and began to pull it up. It was almost as if it hit him like a jolt of lightening. He grabbed her hands and pulled away finally breaking the heated kiss. He could not do this, not when there was so much left unsaid. He had berated himself for his actions of last night and would not fall foul again. He looked at her imploringly, hoping that she would understand from the look on his face, as he daren't let her hands go to sign lest she disappeared again. Again they stood frozen in the moment only this time it was Legolas that paused. Now it was time for him to consider his own past that snapped at his heels. He was due to marry. Amy knew none of this. He was a liar, he was betraying her, his friends, his father. He could not bear it any longer, he ached to touch her and yet this time it was only him standing in his way. His fingers loosened their gripped slightly only to make their way up her arms slowly. He could feel her body begin to tremble under his touch and heard as her breath shuddered.
He would not go any further not without one more question. He pushed his own impending mess of a life to the side and focused purely on her and his selfish heart. She had spoken of her need so he would ask her. "Is this what you want?" He signed the words quickly then continued to trail is fingers up her neck and finally he traced her bottom lip with his left thumb.
Her breath came quickly now and the world seem to pause awaiting her answer.
"It is what I need." Her hands move slowly and deliberately between them.
All thought of consequences left his mind and he replaced his thumb with his lips.
Amy had surrendered to sensation and nothing could break through the feel of his demanding tongue that stroked and teased at her own. She reached once more for the hem of his tunic now desperate to feel his skin. He once more broke their kiss but reluctantly this time as he helped her pull it over his head, instinct now guiding them both. This time it was her turn to study him. His skin almost glowed in the dimly lit room and it was almost as if it compelled her to touch it. Her fingers trailed down his chest which rose and fell with every steady breath. She dipped her fingers between the lines of his abdominals then down to the line where his hips disappeared into his breeches.
Legolas desperately tried to keep himself under control, consumed with the feeling that now he had given into temptation she would disappear if he let himself get carried away. But the fire was burning brightly now and it took every ounce of will power for him not reach out and take hold of her once more.
It was almost as if she heard his thoughts and her eyes met his mirroring them with passion. She did not want him to hesitate, if he hesitated she would have time to think, and if she did that she may talk herself out of this. Something that her body was desperate that she did not do. She took her hands away briefly and signed. "Don't hold back."
Control snapped. He grabbed the bottom of her tshirt, just as she had done to his and pulled it up over her head before claiming her mouth with his own. The ferocity of his passion for her gave away the depths of his feeling but Amy was too lost in sensation to linger on this.
His hands moved to her hair and gently but quickly he pulled out her hair band. His hands then moved down her neck and back as he tried to cover every inch of her skin with his hands.
He felt her hands on his chest and they pushed him back breaking the kiss. He felt panic rise but then saw her intention: she was backing him towards the bed. He felt the edge of the bed hit the back of his knees and let gravity pull him down. She remained standing so she could look at him.
He was lying down, but his torso was raised as he held himself up on his forearms. She tried to take it all in but it was too much and after a few seconds she yearned for his touch again. She climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips.
He knew he had not seen anything as beautiful as the sight before him now, or desirable. He would never had described her as shy but she had always been uncomfortable around people but here, when it was just the two of them there was none of that.
He sat up now so they were face to face where he immediately claimed her mouth again with his own. She let out soft little moans that were like music to his ears. His hand wondered down her back then one slipped between them to cup one of her breasts. They were enclosed in her bra and briefly he wondered just how you took the bloody thing off. He had never seen one before let alone removed one so as his other hand tried to navigate the clasp at the back Amy could not help but snigger into his mouth. It seemed no matter where you went the male of the species could still not remove a bra.
She broke the kiss and an amused smile graced her lips. He could not help but smile back. Was this really happening? He watched as she stretched one arm behind her and in one quick movement undid the clasp. Now that the barrier of a bra was gone he relished in the feel of her breasts cupped in his hands and delighted in the feel of her arching against him when he ran a gentle thumb over her nipple.
In the back of his mind though he knew there was one more barrier he needed to broach so he took the risk. He took his hands away from her breasts and ran them soothingly down her back, he then began by kissing her neck following the natural line of it down to hollow at her throat. He paused as he felt her tense, she knew what he was doing.
He touched his fingers lightly to her chest but his eyes never left hers now. He could see that she felt ashamed and her breath caught in her throat, but this time she was not running away. He traced his fingers down her chest taking care not to touch the wound directly. The black stitches Aragorn had sewn into her stood out against her skin but it was only the stitches that marred her and they would be gone eventually. He took his hands away for a moment and in sign told her she was beautiful. Her head tipped down almost embarrassed by his regard so he placed a hand under her chin and forced her to look at him again. He knew that there was nothing he could say that would make her believe him but he vowed then that every action and step he took would never contradict how he viewed her.
Amy had seen appreciative glances before in the eyes of boyfriends, but nothing like the deep awe that Legolas held in his eyes now. It made her breath catch and her heart hammer against her chest. It was almost unbearable to keep eye contact as his eyes burned with intensity. She looked away only to have him tip her head back up so their eyes met once more.
He took his time caressing the skin down her side and stopped to pay attention to the tattoo that marked her ribs. His fingers stroked the delicate drawing of a caged bird and could not help but think of Amy trapped in her silence.
Up until now it had been Amy's body that had taken the lead but now as Legolas' actions became more tender a heady mix of emotions came to the surface. He had been the first person she had let in for a long time, he cared about her, so much that he would push her even when she was uncomfortable, push her past where everyone else had given up. She felt embarrassed that she had fallen into his arms so easily and hated herself for being that predictable. A lost girl and a handsome prince. But then she had put aside all her doubts, all her confusion, and all the little voices that told her this was a mistake and she had asked herself what she wanted. And for the first time she listened to what she wanted. She had wanted to sate that basic need, a need to be touched, to be held and to be devoured.
He had kissed her, and this time there was no way she was going to stop him.
She crushed her lips to his once more and in a move that was quick and smooth from years of practice he flipped her onto her back and ground his hips into hers. He then began to trail hot kisses down her neck and body and she could do nothing but clutch desperately at his hair and the blankets around them in a need for some control.
When his teeth began to gently bite and tease she let out another soft moan that to Legolas was the most beautiful sound he had heard.
The sensations that coursed through her were almost overwhelming, she absently tried to decipher whether it was his incredible skill or it had been an awfully long time since she had been touched in this way. Eventually she gave up with wilful abandon.
She felt him fumble with the button on her jeans growling slightly when he was successful and lifted her hips to help him as he pulled them down. She felt relief flood her as she remembered that that morning she had put on the underwear that she had arrived in. It had been cleaned and she had chosen it as a little bit of comfort, something from home. She did not know if she could have controlled her embarrassment if she had been in those awful pants that Eowyn has given her.
She would never know that Legolas let out an almost primal groan when his eyes took in the sight of her. Her hips disappeared into a small black garment that he had never seen before. He could not help but dip his head and trail kisses along the line it made on her body, across hips and stomach, and along her thighs.
She gasped as she felt his hot breath over her and she decided it was time to take back some control. She ran a foot up the back of his leg in a move that beckoned him up. He moved over her so that his face was above hers. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and her face was flush from his attention to her body.
She pushed herself up onto her elbows and forearms so that their noses touched gently and she dipped her tongue gently into his mouth. She then raised one hand slowly making sure she kept her balance as she slowly ran a finger up his jaw line to his ear before tracing the line up to the delicate tip. He shuddered as pure sensation coursed through him and she took the opportunity to wrap her legs around his waist. He was lost in pleasure so it did not take much pressure from her to push him over and reverse their positions.
Legolas did not have time to be shocked as she took hold of his lips once more with hers and trailed hot hands down his torso. His own hands took hold of her hips and gripped tightly. Eventually her hands reached the ties of his breeches and she did not hesitate in undoing them.
It was almost a battle now as their bodies strained against one another, fingers clawing at bare skin, teeth grazing swollen lips, a desperation for each other that neither of them had expected.
Legolas kicked his boots off and with a free hand helped Amy pull off his breeches as both of them refused to break the kiss that was raging on. The room was full of heavy breaths and wanton moans as long limbs wrapped around one another and hands clutched urgently at bare skin. Amy finally broke the kiss as she gave into the temptation to look down.
A breath caught in her throat and she regarded him with lust laden eyes but he did not give her long before his hands caught hold of her rear and flipped her over so he was nestled between her legs, his obvious pleasure resting hard against her.
It was as if time froze now as his ardent gaze settled on her and neither of them moved except for the heaving of their chests as they both struggled to catch their breath. It was as if they realised that if they took this next step nothing would be the same between them again.
It was almost imperceptible but Amy nodded. She did not make a conscious decision to nod but nevertheless she did and that was it.
Legolas' hands make quick work of the final piece of clothing that stood between them. The underwear lay torn and forgotten on the floor as he moved his hips to enter her.
Something in his eyes compelled her to keep hers open as he filled her. It took a few moments for her to adjust to his size and when she was ready she pushed against him taking every inch of him in. He held one of her hands tightly as the other gripped tightly on his shoulder as they began to move against one another. He watched her face closely, her eyes fluttered, her cheeks were flushed and her moans deepened with each stroke.
The mood had changed, the passion was still there but it was no longer desperate and Amy felt a small splinter of fear bubble up in her. Every touch of his hand, every look on his face had another meaning and she felt her heart almost reach out in yearning. Legolas dipped his head and placed soft breathless kisses on her neck and again thought lost out to sensation and she arched her back into him.
He filled her entirely and along with his clever hands and artful kisses he brought her body to the brink, his own straining against fulfilment. Eventually neither of them could hold on any longer. Their release came in a tidal wave of ecstasy and Amy had to bite down on his shoulder lest she let out a sound that perhaps even she would hear. Legolas did not stifle his release and could not help but call out her name as his body shuddered then collapsed upon her. She of course did not hear it nor did she see her name on his lips as she was lost in her own release.
Legolas took hold of her when he had regained some semblance of composure and rolled onto his back pulling her with him so that she was tucked in his embrace her head resting on his chest, which rose and fell with unsteady breaths.
As the fog of lust lifted from both of them were faced with the reality of what they had done. The line they had crossed. Their relationship would be changed forever, but how would it change and would the change suit both of them?
