Chapter 35

After a while, Lip decides it's probably time the graduates have scattered from the amphitheater, and are heading to their post-grad activities. He makes his way over to one of the picnic tables, and sits on the table with his feet on the bench. He pulls out the notebooks from Robert's bag, and sets them beside him. If he looks just precisely through the trees, he can see the sidewalk immediately across from the bar.

Lip starts noticing a few groups of graduates with their unzipped gowns and holding their caps, making their way down the streets and through the park. He expects the local bars are prepared for this annual ritual of the local brainiacs cutting loose in the small town before they head off to the rest of their lives. Cambridge seems to have just as many bars as any college town, and he's sure the university generates its fair share of patrons.

Finally, Lip spots a crowd that includes Robert, Megan, and Charlie. It looks like this group is about eight strong, and they are standing on this side of the crosswalk, waiting for the light so they can cross the street to the corner bar. As they are waiting, Lip sees Robert touch Charlie's arm, and pulls her out of the waiting crowd. When the light turns, Robert tells the others to go ahead.

Lip can barely see, much less hear, what transpires between Robert and Charlie. He can see Robert talking and gesturing to Charlie, and he sees Charlie's head drop for a few seconds. Lip fully expects Charlie to turn away from Robert in anger. Instead, she slowly looks up at him, and nods. He takes her cap from her, and looks up and down the street before he crosses over to the bar. Lip sees Charlie head to the columns at the park entrance.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Charlie clears the columns and the trees and comes into view. She glances to her left and sees Lip sitting on the picnic table. She follows the path toward him. He tries not to stare at her, so he looks down toward the river and back again. He wishes he had figured out what he was going to say.

They both are hesitant to speak first, but as she comes closer, Charlie finally says "Hey" in a breathful tone as if she had been holding her breath as she walked toward him.

"Hi," Lip manages in return. "You look good," he says without even thinking. She does. He's missed looking at her. "Your hair is longer." As he looks at her hair, he also notices the dress she is wearing underneath the open graduation gown. He looks at the skin along her neck, and turns away. He can't think about touching her.

"It is." She acknowledges. Charlie is even less prepared to talk to him. "You look good too, but thinner?"

"Yeh, probably. Tough year." He replies, not meaning to sound accusatory. He quickly follows with "Harvard, huh?" to change the subject.

"Yep, Harvard." She smiles slightly, both of them fully aware of the irony of her graduating from Harvard. It's one of the last places he would have looked for her.

"Did you graduate yesterday? With Robert?" she asks, sincerely.

"Sure did. It's hard to believe, isn't it?" Lip says, still getting used to the idea himself.

"No, not at all." Charlie replies.

There it is. There is her steadfast faith in him. Lip gets uncomfortable again, and looks down. To his right, he spots the notebooks with the ribbon around them.

"Oh, I have something for you." He slowly and deliberately hands her the stack of notebooks.

"For me?" She asks, puzzled.

"Yeah. I didn't know I would be seeing you, and Robert brought these thinking you would want to read them."

"What are they?" Charlie asks, still confused.

Lip is hesitant to tell her what is in the notebooks. He's fearful of her handing them back. "They are notebooks that I've written in for over a year; since last spring break."

Lip can see Charlie stiffen some. He didn't want to make reference to what happened. He doesn't know how to cover for the mistake, so he just starts talking.

"They are filled with thoughts that I have written to you over the last year. It was my way of dealing with everything. Robert thought it might be good for you to read them, so he brought them here for me to give you."

Charlie looks down at the notebooks in her hands. "Do you want me to read them?" She asks.

Lip hesitates, and then looks directly into her eyes. "Yes, I do." Lip feels that vulnerability again as he looks at her, but he doesn't care. He's known he never stopped loving her, and seeing her makes him want to reach out and pull her into his arms. If he can't do that, he at least wants her to know all the things he's written about her, and them.

"So, Robert managed to get you here and planned this whole thing? Without either of us knowing?" Charlie flashes a quick smile.

"Yep. Clever guy when he wants to be." Lip nervously smiles back.

Now there is silence between them. There are so many other things Lip wants to say, but he doesn't dare. Charlie hasn't thrown the notebooks down and walked away yet, and he doesn't want to chance it by making her any more uncomfortable than she already is. Her body language is very tense, and he thinks one wrong word could send her running again.

Lip steps off the table, and takes the notebooks from Charlie. "Let's get you over to your graduation celebration."

They start on the park path, and fall into their familiar rhythm as they walk.

"What are your plans now, after graduation?" Charlie asks.

"Well for now, Robert and I are headed to his folks' place on Cape Cod for a couple of weeks. He wants me to help him with some projects there while we debate our job offers. And you?"

"Staying around Boston for a little longer. Our apartment lease is good thru the summer, and I'm finishing up some programming projects before I commit to another employer."

Lip wants to mention the casinos, and going to Vegas to find her, but doesn't dare.

Too quickly, Lip and Charlie reach the park entrance and the crosswalk to the bar. "Well," Lip says "have fun and be careful while you celebrate." Charlie turns toward Lip and looks like she wants to say something, but she hesitates. Behind Charlie, Lip sees that Robert has come out of the bar and has carefully darted across the street. He must have been keeping an eye out for them.

Robert takes the notebooks from Lip and puts them back into his bag that Lip is still carrying. He throws the bag over his shoulder and says to them both, "Let's show these Pilgrims how to party" referencing Harvard's cheesy school mascot. "No offense Charlie," Robert says while giving her a little shove.

"You two go ahead." Lip interjects. "I have some things I want to take care of."

Robert looks wide-eyed at Lip with a "what the fuck?" expression. Lip knows how hard Robert worked to get him and Charlie in the same town. Now Lip is bailing?!

"Aww c'mon Lip. Whatever you think you need to do can wait." Robert practically insists.

Lip notices that Charlie doesn't speak up asking him to stay. Like him, she's probably a little shell-shocked about their meeting. He doesn't want to crowd her. "I've got some emails to return and some interviews to follow-up on. I'd like to get it done before we head down to Cape Cod tomorrow." It's a plausible excuse.

Robert looks at Charlie and Lip and sees two scared people. Instead of pushing, he cuts them some slack, and puts his arm around Charlie. "Alright then. Go be a good future employee. Charlie and I are going to embarrass my sister in front of this fella she has the hots for." They all smile and are glad the awkwardness has been avoided.

"I'll make sure she takes these home." Robert says to Lip as he glances at his book bag on his shoulder and then looks up at the light to see when he and Charlie can cross.

"I'd appreciate that." Lip looks at Charlie, unsure what to say. "Again, have fun, you deserve it." Giving her a slight smile. "But please keep an eye on this maniac."

"Will do." Charlie looks at Lip and replies, but she doesn't offer any other words, or her hand, or any other gesture to engage Lip. The light turns, and she and Robert cross the street to the bar while Lip looks after them.