Thank you guys for the support on chapter 28, it's good to be back!

Chapter 29 :

Failure.

About tree hours later Jane, Maura, little Louis arrived at the cabin followed by Doyle's men.

Stepping into the Isles' family summer house holding the little angel followed by Maura carrying their luggage Jane was immediately overwhelmed by the beauty of that little house. It wasn't a fancy house in the Hampton's, but a modest, warm and welcoming cabin with wooden floor and antique furniture.

"So do you like it?"Following Jane into the living room taking the deepest breath possible Maura immediately felt home. Looking around she immediately remembered the summer vacations her family took there when she was little before she was sent to boarding school.

"Yeah, it's gorgeous Maura. I never really thought your family would posses a house that…rustic." Jane joked perfectly aware of the Isles' expensive and modern tastes.

"Please follow me. Well My grand father built this house for my grand mother to celebrate their ten years' anniversary. The legends says that my grand mother told him that she wanted him to give her a present that would last for ever just like their love would but that she didn't want something fancy but rather something made with his own hands that came from his heart." Maura explained walking towards the master bedroom.

"I bet she didn't expect that."Stepping into the large bedroom Jane was immediately drowned towards the large window with a direct view on the lake below them.

"Yes. I think she actually expected him to draw a portrait of them since he was such a gifted artist. Luckily for my grand father she wasn't mad at him for doing something that crazy which actually took him a year of work to accomplished. He designed the house by himself and built him with his own hands with the help of some of his closest friends. There are only two bedrooms, this one and another one next to the kitchen, it's small but it's probably my favorite place among all our properties."Maura explained leaving the suitcases at the end of the kingsize bed before joining Jane at the window.

"I can see why,I love it. Thank you for bringing us here. How about you feed our little guy here who seems to be starving while I unpack our stuff and prepare us some lunch?"Handing Louis to Maura Jane knew that her fiancee was still punishing herself for what was happening and new that the best remede was to spend some quality time with their son.

"Sure but please be careful not to unfold anything just put everything in the drawers very carefully instead of throwing them okay?"

"Yes mom."

For the next hour Jane left Maura in the bedroom with their son while preparing lunch checking up on them from time to time. She knew that that forced vacation was the perfect opportunity to work on Maura's guilt and to convince her that she did what was right for their family. Actually she was convinced that being away from their friends and family was a blessing in disguise, that it would allow them to focus on each other and to enjoy being a family away from the drama and their busy live in the city.

As Jane was cleaning her hands and was about to call Maura so they could finally get some lunch someone knocked on the door :

"Detective, I just wanted to let you know that we checked the surrounding and you and your family are safe. We will be outside if you need us, another team will replace us tonight. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything." Standing in front of her was one of Doyle's men, a white male in his 40's about 6 feet tall with a scar on his face.

"This must be killing you right?I mean having to protect one of Boston's finest who's probably gonna put you in jail in the future."Jane smirked, corner smile on her mouth.

"I only do what I'm told. Paddy Doyle tells me I have to protect you, Dr Isles and your son with my life and that's what I intend to do, now if you excuse me, I need to call him to inform him." The man politely said before turning around and going back to his car.

"Who was that?"Maura suddenly spoke coming out of the bedroom.

"It was one of Doyle's man. So how's our little prince?"Wrapping her arms around Maura's waist Jane was praying for their son to be sleeping so she could enjoy some private time with her.

"He's fed, changed and sleeping and now I'm the one who's starving."

"Good cause I just finished lunch, how about you settled in the couch while I bring everything?"

"Sure..."Walking towards the living room Maura was surprise to see that Jane had lit up a fire in the massive fireplace and had place perfumed candles all around it.

For the next 45 minutes the two women enjoyed a well deserved lunch, in silence.

"Well that was certainly a nice lunch, God I can't remember the last time we had lunch just the two of us without your parents or Ma..."

"I know, would you like me to ask my parents to leave?"

"Of course not, I know you love having them here and besides Louis loves having his grand pa around, don't worry about it. How about you and I enjoy ourselves while we're here and stop worrying about our familie or about Dean?"Moving closer to Maura gently attacking her neck, her hand on Maura's thigh.

"I don't know Jane. This is far from being a vacation, we need to be careful."

"Oh come on Maur' just relax alright. No one knows where we are and don't forget that we had two of Doyle's best men to protect us, not to mention that I have my gun so I think we should actually consider this as a well deserved vacation alright?"

"You're right, I don't want Louis to feel that we're worried or scared, that could seriously compromise his sleeping or eating patterns."

"And we wouldn't want that now would we, so do you have anything in mind as to how we could occupy our time?"Nervously smiling Jane realized that she had just opened Pandora's box, that now that Maura was finally agreeing to enjoy this little get away she was afraid that her beloved fiance might suggest something she wasn't sure she was ready for.

"Well let me see. What could two women who are madly in love do while their baby is deeply sleeping in the next room?"Maura teased wandering her fingers on Jane's arm feeling her shiver under her touch.

"I..I know it's been almost 3 months since last time we had sex but I'm not sure I'm ready Maura, I'm sorry."Burying her head in Maura's neck Jane was embarrassed. After spending months struggling with body issues due to her pregnancy and after struggling to accept her new body before allowing Maura to even touch her she felt like she was back at square one, scared, unable to satisfy her fiancee.

"Oh Jane, it's alright we don't have to do anything you don't feel ready for, I can wait, what I'm wondering though is if you're still in pain?"

"Not really, as the Doctor mentioned last week I'm healing properly but it's still burns a little when I pee but other than that it's more of a discomfort you know if I sit down for too long or try to lift heavy stuff you know. "

"Then we'll wait. How about we watch some tv, I'm sure they must be some completely unrealistic and poorly written soap on the air right now." Bending over to reach out for the remote Maura was a bit disappointed but understood that healing after giving birth was a slow process both physically and emotionally.

"No, I want to try, come on we can take the other bedroom while Louis is taking his nap."Suddenly standing up grabbing Maura's hand Jane was determined not to act like a scared teenager and to trust Maura to be gentle and not to hurt her.

"Jane...really it's alright. I told you I don't mind waiting a bit longer, there are many things you and I can do."

"I know but I want to, I mean I really need to see those...in person and touch and taste them." Jane joked staring at Maura's enlarged breasts.

"I see, so you don't really want us to make love, you just want to touch my breasts because they're enlarged since I started breast feeding?"Poking Jane's belly Maura was trying to hide how nervous she truly was.

The truth was that Jane and her had only had sex while Jane was pregnant and she was worried that without her hormones to increase her arousal she might not be able to satisfy her.

"Yeah, I totally almost married you for those breasts..Come on let's get more comfortable."Dragging Maura towards the smaller bedroom situated next to the kitchen Jane was suddenly feeling more confident. She knew that she had no reason to be nervous, that Maura loved and respected her enough to be careful and that she knew her body enough to know where her limits were.

A few minutes later Jane and Maura found themselves laying in bed next to each other, kissing, wandering their fingers on each other's backs.

Laying on her left side her hand slid under Jane's t shirt Maura was trying to act as natural as possible and to hide her anxiety. Gently blowing kissing on Jane's jaw all the way to her ear lobe Maura slowly climb on top of her trying not to hurt her.

"Easy tiger, how about we strip down before you eat me alive?"Jane smiled amazed by Maura's burning desire.

"Sure..."Nodding as she helped Jane take off her clothes Maura was immediately amazed by how in shape Jane was. She had given birth to their son only 5 weeks ago but was almost as slim as she used to be before she got pregnant.

Sitting up in bed as she allowed Jane to undress her as well Maura started to roam her fingers on Jane's beautiful breasts gently tickling her nipples with her her thumb.

Feeling those fingers she had missed for so long Jane fell back on her pillow pulling Maura against her.

"You like what you see?"Maura smiled noticing Jane's eyes on her breasts.

"Yes I do."Smiling as she pulled Maura closer to her Jane started to feel aroused already. Feeling Maura's naked body pressing against her turned her on immediately.

Strangely Jane wasn't tensed or embarrassed by her stretch marks or the baby weight she hadn't lost yet. Looking up at the woman who had gaven her everything she had always dreamed of Jane felt beautiful, even sexy.

Kissing Jane tenderly wandering her fingers on Jane's breasts, all the way to her belly Maura was uncertain of what to do. Up until now things had always been so natural and she had always been able to tell what Jane needed but now that Jane wasn't pregnant anymore she didn't know what her needs were anymore.

Unwilling to show her discomfort and insecurities Maura broke their passionate kiss and started to blow kisses on Jane's breasts drawing circles around her erected nipples.

"Oh boy, I almost forgot about that..."Jane muttered arching her back at the new stimulation.

"And I almost forgot how great you taste baby, just relax alright?"Maura smiled quickly rising her head before continuing stimulating Jane's breasts.

Feeling Jane's chest rising high and falling more slowly at every flick of her tongue Maura slowly started to drag her tongue all the way down to Jane's belly.

Feeling Maura tongue tickling her belly Jane closed her eyes and simply tried to enjoy herself, parting her legs to show her that she was ready to take things further.

Blowing kisses on Jane's firm stomach Maura smiled at Jane's invitation and gently dragged her fingers towards Jane's folds.

"You're barely..."Gently brushing Jane's entrance with her finger tips Maura was surprised to see that Jane was barely wet yet which was unusual.

"I know baby, but we just started, just continue what you were doing and we'll get there."Jane replied stroking Maura's hair with her fingers. Unlike Maura she wasn't worried at all and knew that it might take a bit longer than usual for her to get in the mood considering it was the first time they were trying to make love since she had given birth.

"I don't understand, you're usually already soaked by the time I get between your legs. Just feeling my body against yours and my tongue on your breasts and on your belly is usually enough to arouse you."Maura frowned trying to understand what she could have done wrong.

"Oh baby, look at me. It's the first time we try since I gave birth, my body has changed not to mention that I was overwhelmed with those damn hormones so now we need to adjust and adapt to those changes..." Cupping Maura's face Jane pouted trying to reassure Maura who knew was overwhelmed by her insecurities and doubts regarding her abilities as a mother and a wife.

"Are you saying that it was your hormones that aroused you and not me?"Maura hissed shocked and hurt by Jane's words.

"No, this is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we started dating and making love when I was pregnant and because I was bigger and because of those hormones things were different alright?You're the one who turned me on and made me come so hard that I thought I was going to pass time on multiple occasions." Bitting the inside of her cheek Jane suddenly realized how her words came out off her mouth completely wrong and could see she had hurt Maura.

"Don't try to BS me Jane, you can say it. I failed you and our son as a mother and wife by not protecting you and putting you in danger and now I'm failing as a lover."Pushing Jane away before sitting on the edge of the bed Maura closed her eyes and tried to hold her tears.

"Maur'...I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings alright. You are not a failure, God you're the most incredible thing that ever happened to me and to our son, without you I would be...God after Hoyt or the shooting I probably wouldn't have survived without you and when I think about it our relationship and our family are without a doubt my two biggest success in life."Sliding towards Maura snaking her arms around her Jane had a feeling that it would take more than a little vacation to make Maura stop putting herself down like that. Making Maura stop blaming and hating herself was probably gonna be the toughest challenge they ever faced.

"I think I should go check on Louis, it's his first nap here and he might not be completely comfortable by himself."Maura said as she grabbed her shirt and pants, quickly putting them own before walking towards the door.

"Maur!"Looking around for her clothes Jane wasn't able to understand Maura's behavior. Yes she wasn't completely turned on but they had only been trying for a few minutes and she couldn't understand why she was making such a big deal out of it. Well actually Jane knew, she knew that under other circumstances Maura wouldn't have been offended and would have continued to try to arouse her but considering her already overwhelming feeling of being a failure, not being able to turn her on as fast as she used to was perceived as another failure.

Stepping in the master bedroom after giving Maura a few minutes to compose herself Jane found her fiance curled in fetal position. Without a word Jane simple climbed in bed snaked herself around her, closed her eyes and hold her as tight as she could. Maura was facing one of the toughest period in her life and she needed Jane to be supportive, patient and understanding and after all she had done for her over the past 10 months Jane ws determined to do everything in her power to help her.

So guys, I know Maura over reacted. I mean she couldn't expect Jane to be soaked after only a few minutes right?Well I think that if before she gave birth Jane was turned on only by being kissed and touched the way Maura did in this chapter I can understand Maura's disapointment. I mean yes she over reacted, but not being able to satisfy Jane the way she used to before all that drama happened just confronts her in her feeling of being a failure. I hope it makes sense to all of you.

This chapter is a bit strange, can you tell me what you thinK?Do you get my point?