Chapter 29

Monday, June 11, 2003

0830 EST

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Mac sat in the Admiral's office, but she was not working. Everywhere she looked she was reminded of him, of some time when she had seen him use every item in the room, of him standing and staring out the window. She couldn't comprehend how deeply her loss would be if he were not alive. He was the heart and soul of JAG, and everyone in these offices would be devastated at his death. Mac was trying hard not to think the worst, but she usually got a feeling about those she cared about when they were in trouble, or danger. That was why she was thinking he might be dead. She was not sensing that he was in trouble, so that could only mean one thing, in her mind…he was gone.

Tears rolled down her cheeks when she finally allowed herself to admit that fact. 'How am I going to tell the staff? Well, Sturgis knows his plane is missing, but not that he is dead. And Bud and Harriett! This will kill them!'

She walked into the bullpen thirty minutes later, her eyes still red-rimmed from crying.

Harriett was the first to notice, as usual, "Oh, Ma'am! You've been crying…is Commander Rabb worse?"

Before Mac could answer that, Tiner spoke up, "Ma'am, I have been trying to get the Admiral on the phone since last night to tell him about Commander Rabb, and I haven't been able to reach him. I even tried his daughter's number in Italy. She said that someone had already called him and that he had left yesterday morning to return to the States. Is he at the hospital with the Commander?"

"If you will all come into the conference room and sit down, I do have some news that…please just come in and sit down." Mac led the way. The staff followed her, exchanging worried glances. Only Sturgis knew what was coming and he didn't envy her the next few minutes in the least.

When they were all sitting, each face turned to her expectantly, Mac hardly knew how to go on. There was no way she wanted to tell these people who were her friends that the Admiral was probably dead. She chose to start off with the little good news that she had, "Harm will be moving out of ICU today and into a private room. Ms. Cavanaugh was moved into a private room yesterday and seems to be in good spirits."

"And the Admiral, Ma'am? Is he at the hospital with Commander Rabb and Ms. Cavanaugh?" Bud asked.

The tormented look on Mac's face prepared them only marginally for what was to come. Harriett reached out to take Bud's hand, Sturgis looked down at the table in front of him, so he didn't have to meet anyone's eyes, Tiner looked up at her, confused, not really knowing what was coming.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I called the Admiral early yesterday morning to let him know about Harm and Meredith's accident. He couldn't find a flight out until today, so he called Clayton Webb and as luck…um…Clay's family plane was already in Italy and was going to be returning home. The Admiral managed to make the flight, but…"

By this time Harriett was clutching her husband's hand, when Mac paused, Harriett started crying, "Something bad has happened, hasn't it, Ma'am?"

Bud slid his arm around his wife, as they all waited for Mac to answer. "There was a storm, the plane went out of radar contact. They should have landed at Dulles around noon yesterday. There's been no word. They believe the plane went down. Rescue efforts were started immediately and have been going on non-stop since early afternoon." Tears were rolling down her cheeks, as well.

Harriett got to her feet and came over to Mac, clutching her arm, "Ma'am, can't you tell them where the Admiral is? You have been able to do that before. For Chloe, when her horse threw her, and for the Commander, when his plane… when he had to eject from his plane. Can't you do that for the Admiral too?" she pleaded.

Mac didn't want to answer her. She looked at all the faces turned to her, waiting, hoping, and expecting her to save the day. She drew a shaky breath, "I have tried to get a feel for where he is, Harriett. But…every time I try, I come up with nothing. I don't sense that he is in danger, or even in trouble."

"That is good then, right, Ma'am? If he is not in danger or trouble, that is good, right?" Harriett begged Mac to reassure her.

"Harriett, I get no sense of him, at all…"

Silence hung heavy in the room as her words sunk in. Each one of them came to understand at almost the same moment. Harriett moaned, she turned as if to reach out to Bud, but didn't make it. She grabbed for the table edge instead, gasping and holding her stomach. With a sharp cry, she collapsed on the floor.

To be continued…..